index


Message-ID: <41857asstr$1050307804@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: shadowloup@hotmail.com (Shadowloup)
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
NNTP-Posting-Date: 14 Apr 2003 06:08:57 GMT
Subject: {ASSM} (NEW) Dr. Screw 1/2 (sci fi, m/f, aliens, humor)
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 04:10:04 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Greetings.  You must be physically and metaphysically old enough to
read this.  I'm sure your children are fine, I just have no wish to
raise them.  Anyone other than ASSTR who wishes to use this story for
whatever purpose should contact me, since I can actually prove I wrote
it.  Everyone else, please enjoy.  Constructive feedback is always
welcome.  If you like it, please visit my website at
www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Shadowloup/www.


Doctor Screw (Part 1 of 2)
by Shadowloup


  ____
 /    \
(      )===O
 \    /
  HHHH
  I  I====E
 /    \
I     I
I     I 
I     I


Prologue

Bernard Binkle was a man with a kinky itch that needed some serious
scratching.  Fast.  Which explained his peculiar half walking, half
running gait as he made his way to level Q, the lowest habitable level
of space station Byzantium III.  Other factors in his strange speedy
waddle were the lessened gravity in this section of the ship and his
growing "third leg".  But the aggravation would be worth it if the
rumors of a new sex shop where the women did not charge for their
services were true.    Binkle needed to find out.

Right, then left, then another left onto the long hallway which led to
Binkle's now second favorite sex shop, the Porno Palace.

It felt to Binkle like his heart was about to explode out of his
chest, if his dick didn't burst out of his slacks first.

And there it was, the Ochre Rose.  The terminus of his sojourn, the
holy grail of his quest, sitting right next to the Porno Palace.

Neon tubes spelling out "the Ochre Rose" flickered, creating a slow
motion strobe effect.  Crumpled condoms, wrinkled papers, and other
detritus of life in the lower regions of a space station littered the
shop's front.

Binkle pressed the entrance way's doorbell.

Exactly five seconds after the ring, a voice came over the speaker.

"DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?" screamed a voice suffering from extreme
electronic distortion.

Maybe the speaker was broken, Binkle thought.

"Of course," he answered.

Now the door opened with a self-satisfied sniff of air, and Binkle
walked into the brothel of his dreams.

Detailed murals depicting scenes of women flagellating men covered the
walls.  Ornate mirrors, plush velvet drapes and plastic-covered
couches were the decor.  There was even a dry bar filling one entire
wall.  There were no other humans however.

Suddenly a tall, cylindrical object floated into Binkle's view.  It
was a meter and a half tall and phallic-shaped, its bulbous head
decorated with shiny metallic studs.  Two short, stubby mechanical
stick arms jetted out from its sides.

Now that he knew what to look for, Binkle saw dozens of these things
in the room, floating on carpets of air.  He frowned.  He didn't go
for homoeroticism.

"NEW SPECIMEN HAS ARRIVED!" the machine in front of Binkle shouted. 
It's voice sounded human, if that human were transmitting his voice
through a really shitty speaker brimming with urine with no bass
channel.  Binkle's ears ached from the heavy electronic distortion
alone.

"How much?" Binkle asked.

"MONETARY PAYMENT IS UNNECESSARY, HUMANOID SCUM!"

Binkle's face brightened.  "Excellent!" he said.

"SPECIMEN WILL STEP THIS WAY!"  the machine ordered, gesturing with
one of its skeletal metal arms towards a green door at the rear of the
shop.

Binkle took the hint and started walking.  "Is this going to be an
experimentation scenario?"  he asked over his shoulder.

"YES!"

The machine behind him aimed its other skeletal arm at Binkle.  Metal
petals blossomed from the end, revealing a hollow barrel.  It fired a
green beam, which struck Binkle in the ass.  Binkle let loose an
orgasmic groan.  His knees buckled as his cum spurted out.  His prick
felt like it was covered in fire.  It felt so good it hurt.

"Yeah!" he yelled, between gasps as he lay on the floor.  "Experiment
away on me baby!"



Chapter 1


Byzantium III floated in the normal space-time continuum at the
intersection of three twisted branches of hyperspace.  The deep-space
platform housed the powerful gates accessing these hyperspace regions.

Physically it resembled a globe of dough which had been kneaded until
it was closer to a cylindrical shape.  Its flat ends allowed easier
docking access while its  rotating outer edges provided artificial
gravity for the residents.

The huge station looked like a vast suppository for a huge
interstellar beast, which was fitting since asteroid minors considered
this section of space to be the ass-end of the universe.  They also
used the ship as a stop-off point for their sexual endeavors, and
joked that Byzantium III was "mankind's last, best hope for piece of
ass."

Xenosexologists abounded, licensed professionals with enough
anatomical knowledge about the various races to get even the most
non-sexual species to spawn.

Alien races regarded the station highly enough to trade as well as
host a small diplomatic contingencies.  In short, Byzantium III was a
country unto itself in the wilds of space, free from prying
governments.  Even the mysterious multi-trillionaire J. Paul Gotti had
purchased the upper ring of one side of the station to live out a life
of solitude, oblivious to any rumors about his activities.

Deep below Byzantium III's outermost level was level Q, where the
gravity lessened and the long hallways traversing the ship's axis
began to hint at the true cylindrical nature of the ship.  There, on a
hallway in the red-light district, was a little pornographic shop
called the Porno Palace.

For years the Palace had been run by an old geezer crustier than the
drippings on his floor.  When he had retired, he had left control of
the shop to his assistant, a lean yet busty young woman named Alexis
whom he originally hired for her skin-tight pants.

Alexis was currently surveying the well-worn rug of the Palace,
ignoring the patrons who ogled the skin-tight black bike-pants painted
onto her pleasantly shapely rump.  She wore a white g-string panty
over the pants, and a black leather coat draped over her shoulders
framed her purple tube-top.  She had hair black as interstellar space,
and green eyes.

The rug had to go, Alexis decided.  It was mangy, threadbare, and
stained with decades of fluids whose origins she didn't care to
theorize about.

Now that she had unpacked the shipment of humanoid sex robots, her day
was free and her only task was to ring up the customers, discourage
five-fingered discounts and deter pervs from doing the five-knuckle
shuckle in the many holographic porno and virtual reality booths.

To keep from being bored out of her skull, Alexis began a half-assed
inventory.  The intelligent dildos were in place, as were the sexual
stimulants, gels, lotions, potions, leather gear, lycra gear, rubber
gear, bust-expanders and dick-enhancers.  In the central area stood
two racks of VR mindchips and holographic tapes.  Beyond these were
the male and female sexbots  Behind them was the costume area.

Resting on the clear front cash wrap was a display of
super-intelligent prophylactics, powered by sexual effluvia and
advertised as being telepathically aware so they could slip out of
wallets and onto sex organs.

It was at this point in her ruminations that Alexis's roommate Bambi
entered the shop, holding the hand of a small, gnome-sized being with
a face like a naked mole rat.  The being was clad in a trench coat,
the front of which arched up ferociously, threatening the ceiling.

Bambi was a xeno-sexual biologist and orgasmic engineer.  Next to the
short, dark being, who must be one of her clients, the tall elegant
blond looked incongruous.  One of the being's hands had slipped under
Bambi's fitted cream skirt and the cloth by her crotch was undulating.
 Bambi's face was turning red.

"Alexis!  Thank god!  I need a place to take care of a client," Bambi
said.

"Use a hotel room."

"I can't!  This is an emergency.  He's an Euphorian, and I made the
mistake of letting him feel up my ass.  Now he's so excited he's ready
to burst.  Literally!  If he doesn't come soon there's going to be
sperm and guts everywhere."

Alexis sighed, and gestured to a small office behind the front
counter.

"Use the cot in the back.  And no stains!"

Bambi gave a thankful smile and ushered her distressed client past the
counter and through the door.  Five seconds after the door shut Alexis
heard voracious sucking sounds emanate from behind it.

Alexis sighed again.  Sometimes her roommate was a little too
enthusiastic at her job.  Alexis had previously been an orgasmic
engineer herself, but opted for the slightly less hectic lifestyle of
management.

She was employed and her own boss.  And she didn't have to be a sex
plaything.  Although there were times when she harbored secret
fantasies of being a glamorous porno starlet.  Many of the customers
said she was beautiful enough to do so.  And some had even
propositioned her.

These thoughts reminded Alexis that she was going to have to take a
trip to the Byzantium Security Force to obtain the pertinent zoning
permits to keep the Palace open.  She wondered if the Frigadier or one
of his underlings would demand a quick humjob to make certain those
permits were not lost.

A sound like a dinosaur having a very messy orgasm filled the shop. 
It came from somewhere beyond the large rack of gaudy plastic sex
aids, towards the rear where the older interactive booths sat.  Some
of the browsing customers looked about for the noise, but no one was
too disturbed.

Fearing that a water main had burst, Alexis made her way to the back. 
The row of squat virtual reality booths seemed intact, and none were
in use, their doors wide open.  But something was out of place.

Alexis walked up the aisle.  Yes, there at the far end was an antique
beta-wave porno booth, the dingy, cheap plastic veneer of pseudo-wood
around its door looked out of place against the genteel shabbiness of
the Palace's original booths.

There was a well-worn placard in the holder on the booth's side
advertising the movie "Ton-O'-Cum, your one stop ejaculation station".
 A threadbare pink curtain obscured the entrance.

 From behind this curtain a man emerged.  He was possibly tall, but
walked with a stooped, hunched-over gate.  He wore loose Bermuda
shorts and a loose, gaily colored Hawaiian shirt.  He might have been
in his mid-forties, and his curly brown hair had the stiff sheen of
cheap mousse.  In his left hand he held a clear, fluted glass filled
with some liquid that supported a jaunty little paper umbrella.  A
slight smell of mind-altering substances clung to his clothes.

He peered around, a broad grin with all the white energy of an
exploding nova flashed across his face.

"Now this is a vacation spot.  Maybe it's not Haight-Ashbury...," he
said.  His voice was low, warm and slightly slurred.

His eyes were bright and intelligent, peering out from a pair of thin
wire-rimmed glasses whose lenses had a light brown tint.  He displayed
just a hint of mischief as he perused Alexis's body in a long, lustful
gaze.  His stare was briefly captured by her muscled ass and her
jutting boobs.  Eventually his gaze came back to her eyes.

"Hello there," he said.  His smile was again nova-like, and his teeth
nearly glowed in the shabby gloom of the porn shop.

"Hello yourself," Alexis responded in her best cold-water voice.  "You
had best not have been wanking in there, or I'll call security and
have your ass thrown out."

"Wanking in there?  Where?"  The stranger seemed a little mystified,
and turned to face the old porn cubicle.

"Ooohh!  You mean in there.  I never wank in there.  Well, sometimes I
do, but I can usually find some female companion so it rarely comes to
that.  Though I do frequently come.  But so do my companions,"  Once
again he smiled at Alexis.

"You mean you were screwing women in there?  We could lose our license
with that, you ass!"

Alexis was not happy at the possibility of losing the shop over a
zoning violation.  Feeling guilty, she shot a look towards the back
room where Bambi still serviced her client.

"Would you like to ride my JOINT?" the stranger asked.

"What?"  Alexis's dark eyebrows squinted in anger.

"My JOINT," the stranger said, gesturing to the antique porno booth. 
"Or rather, my Jovian Organically-Integrated Noisy Transporter."  His
self-indulgent smile was displayed once again.

The stranger pulled aside the curtain with a deft tug.  Despite her
better judgment, Alexis leaned forward to peer inside.  Amazingly, the
inner area looked ten times larger than her store.  She was still
blinking and trying to comprehend the spatial difference when a hand
smacked her ass hard, propelling her forward.

Alexis yelped, and jumped back, rubbing her injured derriere.  "You
perv!" she growled.

"Welcome to my domain," he said, gesturing towards the room beyond the
curtain with the glass in his hand.

Still rubbing her smarting tush, Alexis asked, "Your domain?  What the
hell are you talking about?"

"This is my ship," he said, displaying that nova-powered smile.

Alexis looked behind the machine and discovered that no power cords
connected it to the wall.  Either she had never noticed this machine
with its optical illusion interior before, or there was truth in what
this jerk said.  Then again, he did seem bombed out of his mind.

"So you use it to travel through space?" she asked.

"And time.  When I have the gas money.  I had to make a pit stop here
because I was running dangerously low on prophylactics."

"So you're some sort of interstellar traveler?"

"Yes.  Yes I am.  They call me Doc."

"Well then," Alexis purred, "come over here Doc, and let me show you
how we say hello on Byzantium III."  Alexis puckered her lips and
leaned forward.  The Doc did too.

That was when Alexis's foot flew off the floor and into the Doc's
crotch.  He went down as fast as the gravity in this part of the ship
allowed.

As he rolled on the floor, groaning and holding his crotch, Alexis
leaned over.

"Don't you ever spank me without my permission again."

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot," Doc gasped.



Chapter 2


Even though they were part machine, the organic-hybrid component of
each Dildek meeting in the secondary headquarters of the Ochre Rose
was excited.  A cloaked ship had just arrived from hyperspace,
secretly docking with Byzantium III, allowing the Dildek-Prime Client
to disembark.

They were now reviewing their plans for space station domination with
their peerless leader.

"STEP ONE: SUBJUGATION OF FIRST LEVEL OF SHIP.  STEP TWO: PLACE
OCCUPANTS INTO SEXUAL SLAVEREY.  STEP THREE: HARVEST THEIR ENERGY. 
STEP FOUR: REITERATE WITH NEXT LEVEL OF SHIP.  STEP FIVE CONTINUE
REITERATION UNTIL ENTIRE SHIP IS UNDER DILDEK DOMINATION!"

"EXCELLENT PLAN, THREE-OF-FIVE!"  the Dildek-Prime Client said.

"IT IS FOUND THAT MALE HOMINIDS HAVE SURPLUS OF CHEMICAL TESTOSTERONE!
 LEVELS OF THIS CHEMICAL DROP AFTER THE ACT OF EJACULATION!  NEW
WEAPONRY FASCILITATES EJACULATION!" Three-of-Five continued.  "ADDED
INCENTIVE: HOMINIDS ENJOY BEING SUBJUGATED!  SUCCESS IN OPERATION IS
ASSURED!"

"MOST EXCELLENT!" replied Dildek-Prime.  "OPERATION WILL COMMENCE
IMMEDIATELY!"

"WE REGRET TO INFORM DILDEK-PRIME THAT WE HAVE NOT YET TESTED OUR
HYPOTHESIS OR NEW WEAPON ON FEMALES OF THE SPECIES!" interrupted
Dildek Six-of-Nine.

"INVASION WILL COMMENCE AS SCHEDULED!  BEGIN WITH ROOM IN NEAREST
GEOGRAPHICAL PROXIMITY!"  roared Dildek-Prime. "EX-SPERMINATE!
EX-SPERMINATE!"

Three secondary slave Dildeks fired their lasers at the Byzantium III
wall.


*****

In the Porno Palace, Alexis wondered what she was going to do with
this new customer who called himself "the Doc".  He had spent the last
hour perusing the smut, ogling the fuckbots, even copped a feel of the
tit on one of them, all the while chortling at the terrible puns in
the vid titles.  He was also secretly ogling Alexis's ass when he
thought she wasn't looking.

Adding to Alexis's consternation was Bambi's ongoing administrations
to the Euphorian's needs.  They had been at it for over 45 minutes. 
The squeaky cot springs and squeals of delight could be heard through
the wall.  Some patrons had heard and were surreptitiously making
their way closer to the cash register while perusing the smut.  Worse
still, the noises were starting to make Alexis uncomfortably wet.  Her
lower lips seemed to stick to her tight shorts.

An acrid, oily stench of burning latex caught her attention.

Looking around, Alexis noticed one of the shop walls start to sag. 
She was walking over to investigate when the panel gave way, falling
into a display of leather bondage goods with a horrific crash Alexis
felt in her bank account.

A penile-looking automation hovered in the new opening, its carpet of
air blowing tendrils of smoke all over.  It casually floated through
the smoldering hole.  Two more appeared behind it.  All had short,
hollow, metallic skeletal arms, which they pointed forward.

The lead Dildek aimed at Alexis.  The two others trained their arms at
two surprised shoppers.

"EX-SPERMINATE!" commanded the lead machine.

High pitched whines slashed through the air as three green lasers
burst forth from the arms.

The two patrons let loose screams of orgasmic delight as their knees
gave out.  They collapsed onto the floor, writhing in bliss, their
hips bucking uncontrollably, white fluids leaking out the crotches of
their pants.

Alexis was also hit.  Unlike the men, she stared wild-eyed, her
nipples nearly bursting through her tight tube top, her soaking wet
crotch staining her lycra shorts.

"Oh sweet fuck!" she said, one hand grasping a tit, the other groping
her crotch.  Her breath came in ragged pants.

"SECONDARY FEMALE SUBJECT NOT INCAPACITATED BY RAY!  REVERT TO
STANDARD LASER!"

The Doc, who had been studying a rack of discounted virtual reality
chips, stepped into the aisle.

"Is this a private orgy, or can anyone come?" he said with a smile.

"IT IS THE DOCTOR!  EXTERMINATE!" said the Supreme-client Dildek.

Two Dildeks trained their other arms at the now retreating Doc.  Twin
red laser beams burned lines across the walls, making the panels
smolder and  erupt into small fires.

Somewhere an emergency klaxon throbbed.  It was accompanied by a
cheery female automated voice who stated, "You have two minutes to
vacate the premises before initiation of fire suppression program. 
The fire doors will close and the oxygen will be vented from the
room."

Bambi staggered out of the back room, looking sweaty and disheveled,
one boob bouncing out of her bra as she attempted to pull her skirt
back down around her hips.  She was followed by the trenchcoat-clad
Euphorian, who still resembled a naked mole rat, but one that was
satiated.

"Oh my goddess, what's happening?" she said.

She ducked as a Dildek fired a green beam at her.  The beam hit the
Euphorian.  It's dark eyes widened in surprise, and the front of its
trenchcoat swelled until it exploded.  Milky white spunk splattered
everywhere, plastering Bambi's face, Alexis's ass, the walls, and the
Supreme-Client Dildek's sensory apparatus.

"MALFUNCTION!  MALFUNCTION!  BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!"

Doc, now hiding behind a batch of upright fuckbots, opened the control
panel in the back of one of the Busty Betsy models and began tinkering
with its electronic gizzards.  The big-boobed blond bimbot came to
life.

She grinned at the Doc and shook her ass.  "What's your pleasure,
sailor?"

"I think I'd like a fast and furious hootchy-cootchy dance," Doc said.

"My pleasure," the bimbot said.  She straddled forward and began
gyrating in the aisle.  The Doc took a second to enjoy the view of
mamboing mammaries, then slipped around a side aisle created by
several holographic porno booths.

The two Dildeks whirled at the sudden appearance of the shapely
fuckbot.  In unison they fired their red beams through the smoky shop,
slicing the hapless automaton into three pieces.

Meanwhile the Doc slipped behind the two Dildeks by cleverly masking
his movements with a Sploogmeister virtual reality chip display.  He
boldly stepped between them.

"Hello boys," he said.

The two Dildeks whirled, their lasers flaring.  But the Doc was no
longer between them.  Their beams struck each other.  Twin explosions
of sparks flew through the smoke as the duo crashed and burned.

The half blind Bambi tried to pull her roommate towards the slowly
closing emergency fire doors.  Alexis eluded her grasp, and turned on
the shop's sound system.  The rhythmic tones of The Wiener Brigade's
"I Wanna Shag You Stupid" filled the air and oscillated the smoke,
accompanying Alexis's strip tease while Bambi crawled to the door.

"RETREAT!" the Supreme-client Dildek screamed as it floated in
discreet jerks through the broken paneling.  One Dildek followed while
dragging the other, smashing into a leather goods display.  The other
Dildek still burned, leaving a trail of white smoke behind it.

Alexis, now nearly nude and playing with her own boobs, swayed over
and began rubbing her crotch against the counter.

The Doc ran to Alexis's side, grasping her wrist.

"It's time to go," he said.

"I want to go hog wild and have empty, passionate, sweaty sex in the
aisles," Alexis replied, swaying her titties in the Doc's face.

"I never thought I'd say 'Not right now', but not right now," the Doc
said, trying to pull the resisting Alexis towards the now half closed
fire doors.  Alexis was too busy swaying to the music to budge.  So
Doc placed his hand over her pussy, his fingers strategically
encircling her clit.  With a deft flick, he made Alexis cum again. 
This orgasm made her more docile, and the Doc was able to lead her out
of the shop.

Once outside, Alexis seemed to come to her senses.  She looked
forlornly at the closed fire doors with the other onlookers, who
stared at both the doors and Alexis.

Bambi came up with a blanket, which she draped over Alexis's nearly
naked body.

At last Alexis summoned her remaining strength.

"You wrecked my sex shop, you bastards, and you're going to pay for
it!"

That was when the Byzantium III Security Force arrived, taking
everyone in for questioning.




Chapter 3

Byzantium III was a world unto itself in the deep reaches of
interstellar space.  Several races used it for commercial, social and
sexual intercourse.  Because of this, the platform was rife with
plots, counter-plots and subterfuge all taking place in the
revolutions of the giant centrifuge.

Keeping a tight control over this bubbling brew was the bio-diverse,
multiethnic peace-keeping Security Force run by Frigadier Thomas
"Left-wing" Stewart, who had earned his nickname by being so
conservative he was in serious danger of becoming a liberal.  From his
headquarters on the outer-most level of the ship, directly against its
reinforced hull, the no-nonsense Frigadier kept careful tabs on the
station's denizens.  Heavy weapons and firearms were verboten, drugs
and alcohol were strictly controlled, and the sex shops well
regulated.

The Frigadier's second in command, Sergeant Dennis Bainter was young
and loyal to his superior.  For a while he had marred his own good
looks by attempting to grow a laser beam-thin mustache just like the
Frigadier's.  Now he merely contented himself to dress in a similar,
if somewhat shabbier manner than that of his superior.

The good Sergeant was currently a little confused by his new prisoner.
 He had arrested many men during his career, but never one quite so
gregarious as this slightly stoned being who sat handcuffed in the
chair.

"Would you like a sonic screwdriver?" the stranger asked.

"A what?" Bainter asked, looking up from the computer screen where he
had been entering the particulars of this being's arrest.

"A sonic screwdriver," the stranger said, nearly blinding Bainter with
a powerful smile.  The stranger tried to pull something out of the hip
pocket of his Bermuda shorts, but was stopped by his handcuffs.

"If you'll just remove these cuffs..."

"Not a chance," Bainter said.

"Then if you would reach inside my pocket."

Against his better judgment, Bainter squirmed his hand inside the
pocket and extracted a cold, rectangular metal object with rounded
sides.  He half expected it to explode as he brought it out in the
light.  It was an ancient style metal hipflask.

The stranger smiled his intoxicating smile.  "Go ahead, open it up and
poor yourself a shot.  As a doctor, I prescribe two hits."

Bainter unscrewed the cap and carefully smelled the contents.  Fumes
of alcohol merrily wafted out.  Bainter could not suppress a smile. 
He took an empty cup from the water cooler, poured from the hipflask,
and drank.  Warm fuzzy feelings filled him.

"Now, what do they call you again?"

"My friends call me Doc.  Probably because I'm a doctor."

"Now then, Doc, would you care to tell about that little incident at
the Porno Palace?" Bainter said.  "What was it?  A drug deal gone bad?
 You owe some cartel money?  What?"

Bainter hoped for a big prosecutorial score which would make his, or
the Frigadier's, career.  He was deeply disappointed.

"Neither.  But I suspect an invasion is imminent," the stranger said. 
"I'm even willing to bet that, right now, as we speak, somewhere
within the confines of this station there is a pod of Dildeks plotting
the overthrow of this ship."

"Right, Dildeks."

Bainter poured another shot from the flask.  And posed another
question, which the Doc answered easily, and then it was the Doc's
turn to ask a question, and Bainter had to wet his whistle with
another hit from the flask to answer, while wondering if maybe taking
hits from a prisoner's own flask and not offering him any was a breach
of some sort of police code and so offered Doc some, but Doc could not
partake since his hands were cuffed, which, Bainter realized after
another hit of this superb screwdriver, was unnecessary as the Doc
really was a decent sort of chap.  Eventually Doc too took his own hit
off the flask, as did Bainter, and the two cheered each other with yet
another hit.

Bainter was about to pursue a different line of cunning questioning
involving the stranger's psychological profile when the door opened
and a tall, thin, nattily dressed man appeared.

He had black hair beneath a dark green beret, dark eyes, and a thin,
proper mustache which was just as smart as Bainter's salute.  His
green dress uniform was crisp and smart, his leather boots well
polished, and his swagger stick hung from his wrist straight and at
attention.

"Morning Frigadier," Bainter said, standing as stiffly at attention as
the alcohol would allow.

The Frigadier nodded to Bainter.

Doc also stood, smiled and offered his hand to the Frigadier, who
pointedly ignored it.  Bainter tried to recall how the stranger's
hands became uncuffed, but the alcoholic haze just wouldn't allow him
to think straight.

The Frigadier went to his desk and shuffled papers.  Bainter saw that
he held an envelope full of the chips for the case of the missing sex
club patrons which had been stymieing the security force for the last
few weeks.

Bainter and Doc were quiet until the Frigadier addressed them.

"What have we here?" he finally asked.

"I don't know," Bainter responded.  "A possible drug..."

"I think I know," Doc interrupted, upon seeing the Frigadier nearly
reel at the touch of his subordinate's breath.  "It's a Dildek
invasion."

The Frigadier arched an eyebrow.  "Dildeks?"

"Yes," Doc said.  "Nasty, cybernetically enhanced biological beings
with aspirations for universal domination."

"Mmmmmm," mused the Frigadier.  "Dildeks?"

"Yes.  Dildeks.  The bio-mechanical entities with the bulbous heads
that set fire to one of your lower decks.  Surprisingly enough, they
actually have to use humans for locomotion."

"About that," The Frigadier said.  "I have a report of intense
property damage, as well as fire and indications of heavy armament
discharge.  Since we're sharing a moment of brutal honesty, I have to
tell you..."  The Frigadier paused to recollect.

"Doc," Bainter suggested helpfully.

"I have to tell you, Doc,"  the Frigadier pronounced "Doc" as though
he was spitting out a foul tasting substance. "I don't care about the
property damage.  I do care about the heavy armaments.  And I also
care about that fire.  Both have the potential for destroying the
ship.  Now, are you part of a gang that's involved in some sort of
turf battle?"

"No," Doc said.  "That damage was caused by..."

"Those mysterious, hovering, heavily armored dildoid beings?" the
Frigadier finished.

"Now you understand."  Doc beamed his high-wattage smile.

"His story fits with what Alexis and the other witnesses told us,"
Bainter said helpfully.

The Frigadier shot Bainter a dirty look.  Addressing Doc, he asked,
"So you expect me to believe that this station is about to be overrun
by superintelligent feminine massage products?"

Doc pondered this for a second.

"When you put it like that, it does sound like I've been doing too
many mind-altering drugs, which I have.  But I'm sane enough to know
that the Dildeks are an actual threat while the giant bat circling
your head is only an imaginary one."

"Are you stoned?" the Frigadier asked.

"I will admit to being slightly gargleblasted."

"So you're experienced?" Bainter joked.

"Mellow, but not necessarily stoned.  It's good for putting a proper
perspective on things."

"What?" asked the now lost Frigadier.

"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?" Doc asked.

"Super experienced floating dildos which are planning to take over the
ship?"

"Really?" Doc said, staring at the Frigadier as though he had just
heard about such beings for the first time.

The Frigadier began to wonder about Doc's sanity.  So he tried a
different tact.

"Now, the man we found barely alive in the shop next to the Porno
Palace, who was covered with some sort of viscous fluid, and had
electrodes implanted in his head, genitalia and anus, is he part of
your gang?"

"Sounds more like he was part of the Dildek gang.  Where is he now?"
Doc asked.

"In the hospital.  But there were no signs of the super intelligent
levitating dildos.  And while we're on the topic of different species,
what planet do you hale from?"

"I'm a Time Fnord," Doc said, once again displaying his smile.

"A what?"

"A Time Fnord."

The Frigadier pondered this piece of datum for a second.  "I'm not
familiar with that."

The Doc's smile widened just a trifle.  "I could explain it to you,
but then other Fnords would just come along and erase your memory."

"Well," the Frigadier said, "We wouldn't want that."

He shot Bainter a quick look which could have been construed as
disgust.

"In fact, Doc, I am inclined to believe you," the Frigadier finally
said.

"So you'll start searching for the Dildeks?"

Once again the Frigadier paused for just a beat.

"Of course," he said.

"So I'm free to go?"

The Frigadier smiled.  "Of course."

"I believe in a situation of this sort, some sort of economic
incentive is called for," Doc said.

"Not necessarily," the Frigadier responded.

"Nonsense," Doc said.  "Now what sort of denomination would you
prefer?  Ganymede gelt?  Earth gold?  Perhaps some lucre from the
Tarrantino System?"

"No sir, I must insist you keep your cash.  You've done nothing which
could constitute a crime, so you're free to go."

"Really?" Doc said.

"Of course," the Frigadier said.

"Then can I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you score a lot of chicks with those snazzy uniforms?  And if so,
where can I get one?"

"I think they sell them in the sex shops," Bainter said helpfully.

The doctor smiled, stood and held out his hand.  "Then I shall wish
you both a very good day and be on my way."

The Frigadier stood and shook Doc's hand.  Both he and Bainter watched
as Doc left the room.

"Sir?  May I ask a question?"  Bainter said.

"Yes?"

"I've never known you to refuse graft before.  Why now?"

"Because there's no record of his arrival on this ship, and there is
eyewitness testimony that he has access to extraordinary technology;
some sort of stealth space-traveling apparatus, not to mention a flask
filled with alcoholic beverages which never seems to empty," the
Frigadier explained.  "I wouldn't be surprised if his money belt was
equally cornucopian.  Now think, Sergeant Bainter.  Who has this
technological finesse?"

"The Illuminati?"

"Very good, Sergeant.  Until I know better, I shall assume this man is
some sort of spy.  And I shall keep a very tight watch on him until I
know who his masters are.  And while we're on the subject, I want a
security workup done on this 'Doc'.  How did he enter our ship?  Where
is he staying?  Where has he traveled?  What is his home planet?"

"I'll get on it right away, sir."

"Oh, and I haven't forgotten about your earlier outburst during the
Doc's interrogation, not to mention your drinking while on duty," the
Frigadier warned.  "You can expect strict disciplinary action,
Sergeant."

With that, he turned to tap out a note on his computer, and sealed the
resulting chip in an evidence bag, which he handed it to Bainter.


Chapter 4

Alexis was waiting for Doc when he left the security forces offices.  

"Do you have a place to stay?" she asked.

Doc smiled.

"I'm not going to lie to you," Alexis said.  "I'm upset.  My entire
shop was destroyed.  Now I'll be paying off debts for years and might
never get off this rotten ship.  But you did save my life, so I
suppose I owe you and I will pay you back."

"It's good karma to repay your debts."

"Well, you are pretty handy," she said.

Alexis's apartment was in one of the seedier corridors on Level P of
Byzantium III.  Panels were either falling off the wall of their own
volition, or had been pried off to allow unauthorized access to the
power and communications grids.  Condom wrappers and hypo sprays
coagulated in the corners.

The Doc got a good eyeful of Alexis's well-rounded ass when she bent
to place her finger on the biometric lock of the door on her
apartment.

As they entered the four room flat, Alexis asked, "How come those
Dildeks, was that the term?"

"Yes."

"Well, how come they knew you?"

"We have a relationship.  A complex relationship."

"If you treated them like you treated me, I can understand why they'd
want to toast your ass," Alexis said.  "What do they do, hunt for
pervs?  Though that doesn't sound so bad."

"To them, any non-cyborg life form is a perv," Doc said.  "That
includes you, by the way.  How would you like to spend your life
inside one of those metal cans, endlessly and mindlessly orgasming
your life away?"

"That's what I do here in Byzantium III."

Alexis studied the Doc.

"Since you did save me, I suppose I'm obligated to give you a
blowjob," she said.

"I could be a gentleman and say no, but..."  Doc unzipped his fly.

Alexis sighed as she sank to her knees in front of him.  

"Chivalry is dead," she mumbled

She was nearly struck in the face by one of the two fat penises
arising from Doc's crotch.  One was situated atop the other.  Alexis
gaped in surprise.  Doc merely smiled.

"We Time Fnords never know if we're coming or going," he said. "I
might also add that blueballs is a terrible and potentially fatal
phenomena for us Time Fnords."

"Like I haven't heard that one before."

Alexis resigned herself to getting some spunk either in her hair or
down her blouse, depending on which of Doc's dicks she had in her
mouth at the time of his orgasm.

She wondered if they would spurt together, or if they were
individually connected to different systems.

Doc's balls felt very, very full and uncomfortably heavy.  Alexis was
in for a meal.

Alexis sucked the lower head.  The upper playfully tapped her
forehead, leaving traces of pre-cum.  A playful bite brought a moan
from Doc.

Suddenly his prickhead bucked in her mouth, as did the one aimed at
her brow.  Somehow Alexis was able to get both pricks within her mouth
and not drown.  Both spurted at the same time, Alexis marveled.

When it was done Alexis wiped her chin.  The Doc had a pleased, goofy
expression on his face.  Alexis gave him a wink.  "That was quite
tasty," she said.

"Time Fnord spunk is a delicacy in some quadrants of the galaxy.  Now
why don't you bend over and I'll give you another Vulcan clit massage
like I did in the shop."

Once in Alexis' room, Doc had his companion get on her hands and knees
on the bed.  He savored the view of the pink upturned cheeks of her
rump, the little dimple of her rosebud anus, and moistening pink lips
of her puss.

He slid a finger lightly over her outer pussy lips with is right hand,
gently probing to find the wetter insides of the glossy pink labial
petals and massaging the glossy black pubic hair.  Alexis sighed in
contentment.

Doc now used his other hand, alternating stroking or spanking the fat
globes of pink flesh.  He delved into the pink crack to tickle the
dusky crater of her tight little sphincter.  With one fingertip he
massaged it in a circular motion until the tight rosebud was no longer
quite so tight.

Alexis gurgled.  

"What are you planning to do there, Doc?" she asked.

Doc continued his two-handed stroking of her now sweaty, steamy
feminine crack.

"As you should remember," he said, "I've got two dicks."

"How could I forget?" Alexis said, then groaned.

"If I'm going to fuck you properly, I'll need a place to put that
second dick.  And guess where that one will go," Doc said.  Alexis
could not see his face, but figured he was smiling.

Doc worked some dripping pussy juice up into the slowly stretching
bung.

Alexis could only groan in anticipation.

Tiring of the lubricating game, Doc turned Alexis onto her back, and
slowly slid his lower prick up her steamy moist cleft.  His upper
prick slid saucily across her enflamed clit.  Alexis began to speak in
a new guttural language of lust as the fat head jostled her clitty.

"If you like that, just wait till your back on you hands and knees,
with both holes brimming with cock."

Alexis moaned loudly as her twat clamped down on one prick stem, while
the other diddled her clitty until her pussy was a steamy mess of cum
dripping down the crack of her rump and onto the bedspread.

It was far from her last orgasm of the night.



Chapter 5

After the fiasco at the Porno Palace, the Dildeks made a strategic
retreat through the storage bays lining the central axis.  From there,
the Supreme-Client had fled to the Dildek's primary headquarters on
Byzantium III, where it and several underlings were engaged in a
heated tactical discussion.

"WEAPONS MUST BE RECALIBRATED!  MORE TESTING IS NECESSARY!  CURRENT
TIMEFRAME IS UNACCEPTABLE!  MISSION MUST BE ABORTED!" said
Six-Of-Nine.

"ABORTION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!"  Supreme-client Dildek said,
training its laser at the dissenting Dildek.

"ABORTION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!"  agreed Six-Of-Nine.

"NEW SUBROUTINE TO DOMINATION PROGRAM: FEMALE SPECIMENS MUST BE
CAPTURED FOR STUDY.  WEAPONS MUST BE RECALLIBRATED!  FEMALES MUST BE
OBTAINED SWIFTLY!" Supreme-client Dildek ordered.

"That won't be a problem," said a human voice from the shadows.

"HOW WILL YOU PROVIDE NECESSARY FEMALES?"

"By using the phone book and calling up some hookers, you crazy
fucking paisons."


Chapter 6

When Alexis awoke the next morning her ass and pussy were pleasantly
sore.  She sighed contentedly and stretched on the bed.  Her arm did
not come into contact with the humanoid form she expected.  Doc was
gone.

But Bambi was up and puttering about the kitchenette area in a
t-shirt.  Alexis padded over in her panties, aglow from being properly
and truly fucked.

"Well, look who's finally up?" Bambi said with a twinkle in her eye.
"From your moans last night, I was tempted to join you."

Alexis felt herself blushing.

"By the way, Doc said he was sorry he couldn't keep shafting you this
morning, but he had some errands to run."

"Typical," Alexis grumbled.  "I'm nearly out of business, and he's out
the door."

Bambi leaned over and tweaked Alexis's nipple.

"Girl, you're still a licensed orgasmic engineer, right?"

"Yessss..."

"Well, if you need scratch, let's go engineering," Bambi said.

Alexis was summoning up several arguments against this when the door
chime rang.  Bambi walked over to answer it.

Sergeant Bainter stood in the hall, looking ill at ease.  He handed
Bambi the chip the Frigadier had prepared.

"So you've been a naughty boy again, Bainter?" Bambi teased as she
placed the chip in a wall-reader to view its contents.

"Dear Bambi, Sergeant Bainter has a big mouth,  Punish according with
as much disciplinary action as ten credits will allow, signed the
Frigadier," Bambi read.  She wrinkled her nose and added, "I see the
Frigadier is as cheap as usual."

Alexis smirked.  She knew Bambi considered Bainter cute, and suspected
Bainter would get far more than ten credits worth of action.  Which
also meant that, for the time being, Alexis had to be out of the
apartment.

She sighed as she went to her room to dress, ignoring the shuffling of
Bainter and Bambi as they prepared themselves for their upcoming
domination session.

After leaving the apartment, Alexis slowly made her way to her burnt
out shop.  When she arrived at the Porno Palace she found that the
yellow Security Forces crime scene tape had been broken, and the door
was partially open.  She looked inside but saw only darkness.  She did
hear something.

Alexis slipped inside and hit the lights, some of which still worked. 
The charred remains of the shop were displayed in the demi gloom.  An
acrid, pungent, charcoal smell permeated the air.  Alexis sighed as
she viewed her blackened, smoke-damaged merchandise.  Then she heard
the scuffling noise again.

She grabbed a long double-headed dildo, which was only slightly worse
for wear and lay perversely near the door.  She hefted it as though it
were a truncheon, slowly walking through the store, her feet squishing
into the still wet rug.  There was a cold wet rawness in the room,
probably due to the misting water action of the fire prevention
system.

She banged her foot against a box, cursed, then gave up trying to
surprise whatever burglar was looting her shop.

"All right," she announced into the dark.  "I've got a weapon, and I'm
in a really bad mood, so don't even wonder if I'm willing to use it."

"I would love to see you use that," said a familiar voice. 

The Doc appeared from the new hole in the side of the wall.

Alexis was both relieved and peeved.  She let the double dong slip to
her side.  "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm doing a little investigative work," Doc said, a smile once again
on his lips.

"Were you deputized by the Security Forces or something?"

"Not at all.  I know these Dildeks, and they are not nice machines. 
They're usually up to something, and that something is seldom good."

"Did you find anything?"

"No," Doc said.  "The only thing I've found is that your shop needs a
lot of cleaning, and that you make these really erotic noises when you
are filled to the brim with hot throbbing cock."

Alexis blushing when she heard someone enter the front door.  Another
woman had entered the shop.  She was short, somewhat stocky, but
pleasingly plump, with dark hair and eyes.

"We're closed," Alexis said with a little more anger in her voice than
she had intended.  She looked down at the double-headed dildo still in
her hand, and let it drop to the floor where it made an embarrassing
thud.

"I can see that," the newcomer said.  She reached into her business
suit and pulled out a small card with an embedded holographic image of
a human wearing shaded eyeglasses.  "I'm with the Dominique Fiduciary
Services."

"My insurance company?"

"Yes.  My name is Evania Strump, and I'm here to assess your claim on
this shop."  The insurance agent looked around, wrinkling her nose. 
"And I see those claims will be substantial."

"Actually, this looks pretty good considering that Dildeks were
involved."  The Doc stepped forward, his mega-smile once again in
evidence.

"I'm sorry?  You are?"

"A friend of your client," Doc said, making a curt bow, gently
grasping her hand and giving it a light kiss.  Strump was a little
surprised, though pleasurably so.

"What was that you were saying about dildos?" she asked.

"Dildeks," replied Doc, who was standing far too close to Strump.  But
then Strump was giving Doc the once over herself.  Alexis was about to
make a half-hearted protest when she caught the insurance agent's eye.
 It was not a pleasurable contact.  Alexis knew whatever she said
would not be believed.

"Yes, the Dildeks are a very nasty race," said Doc, casually draping
an arm about the shoulders of Strump.  "Just look at the damage their
lasers can do."

He walked her over to the carved out chunk of wall.  His hand crept
ever closer to her skirted rump.  Alexis noticed a wriggling motion
near a broken box of telepathic prophylactics which had fallen to the
floor.  Six thin latex strips were undulating across the rug like fish
seeking a spawning area somewhere near Doc and Evania's feet.

But long before they arrived, Doc was escorting Evania to Alexis's
office, on of his hands deeply embedded in the crevice of her butt.

Alexis could not believe her eyes.  She was torn between feelings of
anger, betrayal and possibly gratitude.  So were the prophylactics,
which wiggled impotently against the closed door.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html>  Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}|
|Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org>      |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+