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From: SilverNominees@aol.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2002, June
Date: Sun, 13 Apr 2003 01:10:08 -0400
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Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan
Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2002, June
Part: 6 of 2002
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The June 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation:
It was another raucous night in La Taverna (The Official Bar of the
2002 Autumnal Pornolympics). Someone had rounded up the usual
suspects. Same old crowd by the aquarium, give or take a new face
or two. Same old crowd on the same old barstools (and one high
chair.) Same old clerics pontificating or sermonizing. Same old,
same old.
One sudden change - like "the wave" at a football stadium, a bunch
of the female authors (and a few males) flashed their talents, and
the patrons at large flooded the room with cheers. This was outside
the norm. It was a welcome distraction from the dry discussions of
"two", "too", or "to."
Me? Well, I wanted to join in, but my muse and I were too busy
tallying the votes for the June Silver Clitorides Awards for me to
dangle *my* chad in public. She and I had a table in a dark corner.
Maybe the darkness contributed to the time it took to count the
ballots - maybe not. Next month, I think I'll just do away with the
"Silver Voting" address and take all the mail at "Silver Nominees."
Maybe I'll just get a more generic address and replace them both..
My stack was done; my muse still had a few to go. Then there'd be
the engraving on the trophy (I knew that vibro-etcher would come in
handy). While she caught up, I signaled the waitress for a refill.
My hot chocolate was nearly empty.
Muse asked, "How can you drink that on a day like this? The sun's
down and it's still triple digits outside."
"I've decided to embrace the International System. It's barely 40
degrees, and to a 'Mericun, that sounds cold. Besides, we aren't
outside, we're inside, and the air conditioning is set to maximum."
She just shook her head, and continued counting.
The waitress brought my order, and I savored the drink. Especially
the little marshmallow bits. I might even have some more. I winked
at the waitress and she winked back. She appeared to be one of the
later models. I briefly wondered if her programming included...
never mind.
"Done!"
She passed me her tally sheet. I combined the totals with mine. We
had a winner. I started engraving.
Finally, we gathered up the trophy and certificate, and went to
stand in front of the bulletin board. "If I could have your
attention for a moment?" I shouted. The patrons paid me the usual
respectful deference. Before I could yell again, I heard a
distraught cry from a table in a dark corner. Three people sitting
there. A short, red-headed author auditioning a couple for her next
MF story. The author seemed to be patting the hand of the
distraught character. I heard her whisper, "There, there. Of course
that's the way it has to be. Didn't read my specs? MF stories, one
character must ALWAYS be killed off. Get over it. Die like a man."
I shuddered, hoping she wasn't contemplating a Fantasy Train story
full of fellow authors any time soon. Out of the corner of my eye,
I spied a certain Aquarium Proprietor and a Red-headed Texan
approaching. I hastily shoved the trophy and plaque into my Muse's
arms and sat, covering my mouth with both hands.
Annoyed, my Muse snapped her fingers. A hush descended over the bar
(do hushes have to descend? can't a hush ascend, or approach from
an oblique angle?), and she announced in her clear contralto, "The
Silver Clitoride Award for best story of June, 2002 goes to...
"Nano Virus, by cmsix at Stories Online."
"Congratulations to cmsix, and to all the finalists!"
The June 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner:
Nano Virus
by cmsix http://www.storiesonline.net/
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The June 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards FINALISTS:
Force-ful http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/force-ful.htm
by Dorsai http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/
In The Blood
by the Gyre Surfer http://storiesonline.net/
Love Conquers All http://www.ewpub.org/authors/yellowsnow/lca/lca_frames.html
by Yellow Snow http://www.ewpub.org/authors/yellowsnow/ys_frames.html
Wednesdays and Fridays http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www/wednfri.html
by Krystoff Vagabond http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www/
Justice 7 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36703
by Ice Phoenix http://www.ewpub.org/
Still Together http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www/stillto.html
by OOSH http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www
THE LOTTERY http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkvision/
by Darkvision http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkvision/
Nano Virus
by cmsix http://storiesonline.net/
Moon Ghosts and Memory Boxes http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36963
by Desdmona http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Desdmona/www
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
The June 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees:
Force-ful http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/force-ful.htm
by Dorsai http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dorsai/www/
Snapshots http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/snapshots.html
by Dryad http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/
Sister and Her Friends
by stosh79_00 http://storiesonline.net/
In The Blood
by the Gyre Surfer http://storiesonline.net/
Not Right http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36589
by Qickless
Rum-Soaked Chocolate Cake http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/rumcake.html
by Number 6 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Love Conquers All http://www.ewpub.org/authors/yellowsnow/lca/lca_frames.html
by Yellow Snow http://www.ewpub.org/authors/yellowsnow/ys_frames.html
Wednesdays and Fridays http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www/wednfri.html
by Krystoff Vagabond http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/kvagabond/www/
Justice 7 http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36703
by Ice Phoenix http://www.ewpub.org/
Still Together http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www/stillto.html
by OOSH http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www
THE LOTTERY http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkvision/
by Darkvision http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Darkvision/
Nano Virus
by cmsix http://storiesonline.net/
Moon Ghosts and Memory Boxes http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36963
by Desdmona http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Desdmona/www
Red Revenge http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36902
by Frances LaGatta
Obsession http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36966
by Desdmona http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Desdmona/www
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