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From: SilverNominees@aol.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2002, April
Date: Sun, 13 Apr 2003 01:10:06 -0400
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Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2002, April
Part: 4 of 2002
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The April 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation:
I felt my Muse's hand on my shoulder as she looked at the words I
was typing on the screen:
"'Twas sautig and the erogists did wribble covingly on their
worps."
She picked up the wine bottle on my computer desk and examined
the label. "Chathouse Portmanteau '01?" she asked the air.
Cautiously, she sniffed the bottle, setting it suspiciously
aside.
She shuddered. "Please, please tell me I did not inspire this...
this..."
"It's poetry," I supplied.
"Then your licence is revoked!" she returned.
"Ah HA!" I exclaimed. "I told Denny that spelling for license
came from somewhere logical. Um, what license?"
Muse just rolled her eyes. Oh. That license.
"Look, you can't revoke my license... er, licence right now - I'm
doing this to honor the winner of the April Silver Clitty!"
"I thought you had arranged guest presenters for this month.
Willy something and that bartender woman."
"Mr. Crystal and Ms. Goldberg withdrew because of the death
threats."
"Death Threats?!"
"Yeah. When they found out what kind of writing we honored, they
wanted to quit. I kept threatening to kill myself if they did.
They said it was a deal, and left."
"And you think that jabber you were typing will honor the
honoree?" She shook her head. "I guess I'll have to save your
bacon again," she sighed. She snapped her fingers.
I looked around. Under a single spot, the winner of this month's
award was reading his work aloud, accompanied by a bongo drum. At
tiny tables all around, authors and fans gazed on behind cheap
sunglasses, sipping espresso. Although I saw only a few lit, the
atmosphere was thick with cigarette smoke.
Through that haze, it was difficult to pick out any particular
writer. The "Maynard G. Krebs" look was popular with men; ratty
grey sweatshirts, chinos, sandals. A "Mary Tyler Moore" look was
more popular with the women; black leotards, turtlenecks and
sandals.
Just then, the featured artist completed his reading, to the
sound of fingers snapping everywhere. Based on past experience,
I kept expecting to disappear, and reapprear elsewhere, but the
muses were restraining themselves.
I went to the front, holding the statuette of Argent Tina aloft.
I handed that and the usual framed certificate to Alexander
Renault for "Shannon's Shadow". I may have said, "Way to go,
daddy-o," or some similar '50's expression of congratulation.
Dig?
There were finger snaps in abundance, but one particular set
returned me to my computer keyboard, still wearing a sweatshirt
reeking of stale tobacco and espresso. I turned to my Muse.
She made a turtleneck and leotards look damned good, and the
twinkle in her eye was visible even through the dark glasses. She
pointed at the keyboard. "One thing left to do."
Right. Wrap it up. "Congratulations to Alexander Renault's
"Shannon's Shadow", voted best story of the month of April, 2002.
And congratulations to all the nominees and finalists, as well.
We experienced the highest total vote count of this year - you
can all be proud, and prouder still of the comment that
accompanied so many votes: 'It was close between X and Y, but I
decided to go with X.' Another great crop of stories all around."
The April 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner:
Shannon's Shadow http://www.opheliasmuse.com/renault02.html
by Alexander Renault http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
The April 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards FINALISTS:
Wanderings http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/anais_ninja/wander/
by Anais Ninja http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/anais_ninja/
Tidal Wave http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Sara_H/www/tidalwave.htm
by Sara H http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Sara_H/www/
Song of the Soul http://www.opheliasmuse.com/anderson02.html
by duana anderson http://www.necrobabes.org/duana/
Shannon's Shadow http://www.opheliasmuse.com/renault02.html
by Alexander Renault http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
Picturesque http://www.opheliasmuse.com/tasker02.html
by Harry Tasker http://www.harrytasker.co.uk/
Portrait http://www.opheliasmuse.com/buckley02.html
by R. E. Buckley http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
Chapter 9 of Nicholas Urfé's Cuyahoga Falls
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nickurfe/www/fripperies/cuyahoga/
by Nicholas Urfé http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nickurfe/www/
Life Out of Balance http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/balance.html
by Number 6 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Ruthie's Hair http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/RuthiesHair.htm
by Selena Jardine http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
The April 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees:
Wanderings http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/anais_ninja/wander/
by Anais Ninja http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/anais_ninja/
Tidal Wave http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Sara_H/www/tidalwave.htm
by Sara H http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Sara_H/www/
Saturday Afternoon in the Suburbs http://www.opheliasmuse.com/primac02.html
by Prima C http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
Song of the Soul http://www.opheliasmuse.com/anderson02.html
by duana anderson http://www.necrobabes.org/duana/
Shannon's Shadow http://www.opheliasmuse.com/renault02.html
by Alexander Renault http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
The Girl from Molly Malone's
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/harrietsplace/www/MollyMalones.htm
by Harriet http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/harrietsplace/www/
Picturesque http://www.opheliasmuse.com/tasker02.html
by Harry Tasker http://www.harrytasker.co.uk/
Portrait http://www.opheliasmuse.com/buckley02.html
by R. E. Buckley http://www.opheliasmuse.com/
Chapter 9 of Nicholas Urfé's Cuyahoga Falls
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nickurfe/www/fripperies/cuyahoga/
by Nicholas Urfé http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nickurfe/www/
Life Out of Balance http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/balance.html
by Number 6 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Ruthie's Hair http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/RuthiesHair.htm
by Selena Jardine http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
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