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From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 14 Mar 2003 19:20:37 -0000
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #021 - 14-Mar-2003
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 20:10:03 -0500
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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
"It was a hot summer night and the beach was burning
There was fog crawling over the sand
When I listen to your heart I hear the whole world turning
I see the shooting stars falling through your trembling hands
You were licking your lips and your lipstick shining
I was dying just to ask for a taste ..."
-- Jim Steinman via Meatloaf
This issue is focused on the Chocolate Birthday stories that
wandered over the newsgroups in February in honour of Gary's
birthday. Sorry about the delay, but there are a lot of them, and I
did take a week off to hibernate. Better late than never, right?
I still have about half of the birthday stories for the next issue,
and then back to our normal programming. I have a bunch of <*>
stories in my reviewing queue. I will get to them.
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The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the
wind.
- Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson
Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www
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If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run
the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system
for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that
tickles you.
Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm
Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/
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Story Summary:
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The Very Best -- Stasya T. Canine
(MF, chocolate fix, nosex)
[10,10,10,10]
Bittersweet -- Selena Jardine
(MF)
[10,10,10,10]
Candy Bar Surprise -- Desdmona
(Flash mf)
[10,10,10,10]
CDD -- Jack C. Lipton
(MF rom oral)
[9,9,9,9]
The Chocolate Cock -- Kellis
(MF, chocolate)
[8,9,9,9]
Chocolate, Little Girl? -- Katie McN
(Mf ff Parody)
[9,10,10,10]
Dark Chocolate -- oosh
(Ff chocolate)
[10,10,10,10]
Dinner and Dessert -- Alexis S.
(MF Rom Flash)
[10,10,10,10]
Reviews:
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The Very Best -- Stasya T. Canine
(MF, chocolate fix, nosex)
Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40994
Author's Site:
http://storiesonline.net/Stasya_T_Canine/
Editorial Note:
Stasya didn't code this story, nor is he required to. Story
codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.
When Timothy needs chocolate, he needs chocolate. So, at 3AM, after
fighting off the dog, he arrives at an all-night Wal-Wart hoping
that there will be something to satiate his hunger. While reaching
for the last Nestle Bar, he encounters Corine, a beautiful redhead
with a matching desire.
It's a short work, and Stasya uses the most of the language to get
us to connect with his characters. Chocolate and condoms? Not all
that bad a pairing.
Technical : 10
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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Bittersweet -- Selena Jardine
(MF)
Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40955
Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/
Editorial Note:
Selena didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story
codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.
Sometimes metaphors are so apt that one cannot resist the urge to
write them. This is what Selena has done here, and it is brilliant.
A lovely woman, who loves to learn and grasp life by the ... er ...
hands and never let go. She approaches life with lust. And for her
husband? The chocolate, with a touch of salt.
Oh, just go read it.
Technical : 10
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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Candy Bar Surprise -- Desdmona
(Flash mf)
Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40950
Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Desdmona/www/
Oh, Des, you are evil.
You see, it has taken exactly four months, two weeks and three hours
for Gary to convince Bonnie to show him her tits. Her blouse is
unbuttoned, and the tiny bow on her bra peeks between the folds of
cloth. Then, to Gary's dismay, a knock at the door. Cheerleaders,
selling (what else?) chocolate bars!
The choices are endless, and if you aren't grinning by the time Des
finishes the choices, then you haven't been paying attention.
What a tease.
Oh, Des, you are evil.
And I love it.
Technical : 10
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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CDD -- Jack C. Lipton
(MF rom oral)
Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/cdd.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40985
Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/
When I first picked up this story, I thought to myself ... now who
the heck titles a story with a bunch of consonants?
The narrator is going out with Helen, and when he finally brings her
home to meet the folks, he's nervous. Needlessly, as it turns out.
Helen gets along with them famously, and, well, the next time his
folks come back from Antwerp, they bring some goodies. What goodies?
Hmmm. Chocolate.
Now, I found the story a little disjointed. It was written almost in
a stream of consciousness, which was effective in some ways, but in
others only served to confuse me. There were odd subplots
(especially the marriage one) that I couldn't quite resolve. Why was
it in there, and did it have any relevance to the story at hand? And
so, I settled down and figured that this was a 'slice of life'
exposition, and it works as that. I suppose I was probably
expecting something different, but that's not Jack's fault.
Overall, it's well written, and sexy.
What the happy couple find to do with the chocolate, and what CDD
means, is up to you to find out.
Technical : 9
Eros : 9
Character/Plot : 9
Crimson : 9
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The Chocolate Cock -- Kellis
(MF, chocolate)
Story:
http://www.kellistry.com/choco02.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40995
Author's Site:
http://www.kellistry.com/
Editorial Note:
Kellis didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story
codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.
A box arrives in Gary's mailbox. It's about the right size to hold a
stick of dynamite, or an envelope of white powder. But as Gary's
mother-in-law used to say ... he wasn't worth the powder to ...
Nevermind. As Gary discovers, the box contains (guess what!)
chocolate and it's shaped as a giant ... er ... read the title,
okay?
Anyway, Gary is justifiably confused, and wonders who sent it. He
figures out a good use for it, much to the chagrin of a beefy porn
shop clerk. But who ultimately sent the chocolate and why? Well, you
get to read the story and find out.
There were a few formatting issues in the version of this that I
read, especially with dialogue. Unfortunately, that's a killer with
such a short piece. I had a little trouble following the story, but
that could have been my eyes. On the other hand, I liked the subtle
presentation, and the humour that poked through.
Technical : 8
Eros : 9
Character/Plot : 9
Crimson : 9
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Chocolate, Little Girl? -- Katie McN
(Mf ff Parody)
Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40951
Author's Site:
http://www.katie-mcn.com
Claudette of the North is happily walking along in her new
school-girl uniform when who should appear? Surprise! Gary, in a
dirty raincoat, sporting Lindt chocolates and a whopper ... er ...
that isn't really much of whopper.
(Sorry, Gary)
Anyway, Claudette finds herself tied to a bed, while Gary, our
friendly neighbourhood pervert takes pictures of her. Did I mention
that Claudette is fourteen and ... um ... Canadian to boot? And so,
as any fourteen year old girl might do, she talks. And talks. And
talks. Well, until Gary, the poor man, trips while trying to don a
condom. Claudette escapes, and runs home to commiserate with Katie
about her strange experiences.
(By the way, some of those tATu videos ... mmmmmm)
[ Kind of interesting when you stop to realize that most
Canadian girls look like Avril Lavigne or Celine Dion. ]
Hey! I take exception to ... um ... nevermind. Point taken.
Anyway, it should be noted that our clumsy character Gary isn't
necessarily the same Gary to which this rather odd chocolate
birthday tribute is aimed. I mean, would Gary be caught wearing a
dirty raincoat? I don't think so.
Anyway, this story is aimed to be a parody based around a
particularly odd, but entirely likeable teenager. It works
delightfully. I liked Claudette and her rather unique outlook on
life. I was grinning through almost all of this story, Katie. The
story is light-hearted, so even if the themes in the synopsis above
don't necessarily appeal to all readers, I would still recommend
this story to anyone. It's light, and it's harmless. Good fun.
Thanks, Katie.
Technical : 9
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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Dark Chocolate -- oosh
(Ff chocolate)
Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40991
Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www/
Editorial Note:
Oosh didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story
codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.
Dark chocolate. What makes the difference between a girl and a
woman? That is the question. For Violet, dark chocolate lacks the
mild taste of milk chocolate -- a bitterness that defines who we are
in adulthood. Despite all warnings, Alice pops a chocolate ginger
into her mouth. Unable to deny her girlish nature, she bolts to the
wastebasket spitting the bitter dark chocolate from her tongue.
Violet bites her lip smugly, suspecting as much, but regretting it
nevertheless.
Rarely have I read such subtle Eros, and delightful exposition.
Oosh has a wonderful talent, and within her words, I can almost
taste the chocolates, feel the tingles. Indeed, there is only one
thing that is better than chocolate, and oosh shows us this in vivid
and unquestioning description.
It also helps that I *love* dark chocolate.
Seriously, go read this. This is what erotica should be.
Technical : 10
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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Dinner and Dessert -- Alexis S.
(MF Rom Flash)
(REPOST)
Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alexis_S/www/HIA_fffac.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40984
Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alexis_S/www/stories.htm
What is the only thing that can rouse a man after sex? Cooking, of
course. And what should be chosen when given the choice: Eggs or
dessert?
Our stupiferous male might choose incorrectly at first, but I
suspect he might change his mind.
I loved the descriptions in this piece. Made me hungry.
Technical : 10
Eros : 10
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
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--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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