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Message-ID: <41102asstr$1046509804@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Dryad <gbbjg@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} "Insanity" by Dryad (uncoded)
Date: Sat,  1 Mar 2003 04:10:04 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

I was looking through my stories, and found that this one was never
posted to ASSM. If you are familiar with the stories on my site, you
are right, this is not new, but it IS new to ASSM.
Unlike my other stories, this is not entirely a work of fiction. Some
of you may know I was having some difficulties last fall. This sort of
describes it.
If you are under 18, go away, since I don't like to get in trouble. If
you are turned off by perversion, what are you doing at ASSTR/ASSM? In
other words, go away. If none of this applies to you, great! Read on!
Have fun! Let me know  what you like!

Oh, and I work hard on my writing...so guess what? It's mine. That's
right boys and girls...it's copyrighted...so if you want it? Just ask-
we'll talk.

Dryad
******************************************************************************
Insanity

I'm going insane.

The burning I feel in my gut, behind my eyes, in my groin...all crying
out for releases of different sorts.

Scream therapy no longer works.  A beetle has crawled into my brain,
making me feel and do things that are not me. A stranger has taken
residence in my body, forcing me, creating the ache I feel. And it
churns and curls in me, wrapping around my fragile control, tightening
and squeezing it, as a python would it prey. And I scream inside,
scream for the loss of me, wanting to get back to me...

No longer in control, no longer in control...

Reaching out, grasping, crying for help. Curl up fetal style, pulling
your arms tightly around me. Make me forget, make me forget what I am
right now.

Hand softly stroking my hair, and I feel my body tense, feel the anger
surge from no where, irrational, feelings not my own.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Anger curls, swelling and receding, leaving a
miffed pressure behind my eyes, begging to be unleashed. The poisoned
tears squeeze out, as my body shudders again. My brain hurts. My body
aches.

I'm so tired. Tired of fighting the alien inside me. The control slips.
I hate myself. Hate myself for the weakness. Hate being a stranger in
my own skin. I feel the creepy crawlies take residence under my
skin...nothing is comfortable. I feel jittery, as though I was on a
caffeine high. I can't seem to keep still, the neural synapses
snapping, begging for release.

Sex.

I don't care how. Hell, I don't care who. Buy stock in Energizer, but
that ain't doing it anymore either. Just fuck me. Make me forget I
don't know myself.  Use that power in me, make it melt away.  Flip me, 
bounce me on the bed. Hell, invite your friends, fill me with cock from
all angles, drown me, drown me in sperm. Override this monster in me,
use this anger, make me scream, make me curse and act like one
possessed.  Make the tingle in my skin feel positive, rather than the
wanderings of a soon-to-be insane mind. 

No! No, don't make love to me! My feeble brain can't use it...I said
FUCK me. Slam my body, slide me up against the wall roughly, take my
body, until my brain slows down, before exploding.

But my body doesn't care.  I get a moment, perhaps two, of clear
thought, before my body begs to shut my mind down again, and I am
crawling over you, begging, threatening...fuck me, or someone else
will.  I can see you're tired, and it angers me further.  Some small
part in the back of my head tries to pull me back, but I don't care,
all I care about is the storm inside me, my orgasm much like the eye of
a hurricane, and I'm thrown about. I've lost all control, don't want
it, don't need it.

Feel myself falling, no longer aware, blissfully unaware.  I close my
eyes to the feeling, all that?s left...no thought, no anger, no fear. 
And even in the midst, my body grows slack, relaxed, blessed with a
mind emptied of all thought, no longer desperate, jittery.

Until the next time, which could be soon.  But for a few moments,
respite from the pressing insanity.


Copyright Dryad (gbbjg@yahoo.com) 2002

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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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