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Subject: {ASSM} Secrets {pgoldens girl} (MMF cuck oral bdsm anal voy)
Date: Sun,  9 Feb 2003 22:10:03 -0500
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"Secrets"
   by pgoldens girl
   
   
I am not a bad person. I have told only a few lies in my life
usually lies to save the hurt from other people. I live life
honestly which means that sometimes I have to do without some of
the things I desire. I love my husband and I don't regret
marrying him but he can't satisfy me. He doesn't even care to try
so why should I feel bad that I had to go elsewhere to find a
lover. I think all of this to myself as I am sitting in my car in
front of the motel. I am trying to decide if I should go in or go
home. I want so badly to go in and see him one last time, to feel
him one last time. I am trying to justify my actions to myself so
that I won't have to feel so guilty. It isn't about love, that
much I know, it is about lust, pure and simple. I hardly even
know this man that I have been fucking for the last month. I met
him about a month ago while I was out running some errands.

I was in the supermarket doing the monthly shopping and I
accidentally ran into a man while I was reading the back of a can
of soup. Literally ran into him with my carriage. I was so
embarrassed. After I made sure he was all right and after I
proclaimed a thousand apologizes I went on with my shopping. When
I left the store about an hour later it was pouring rain out. I
ran to my car and put the groceries in the car as fast as I
could. I got in behind the wheel of my car and turned the key to
a dead car. "Shit!" I yelled to an empty car. I got out of the
car again and lifted up the hood as if I knew what I was doing
under there. I looked around for anything that looked broken but
I didn't even know what I was looking at. I knew how to fill the
window wiper fluid and that was sadly it.

I was about to slam the hood of the car back down when I heard a
man call out to me, "Ms., is there anything I can help you with?"
It was the man I had run over in the grocery store. I explained
my problem to him and he went in to take a look. While he was
looking at the car I went back inside so that I could call my
husband on the cell phone. I dialed the number for his work and I
got his secretary Lisa. "Hi Lisa, it's Jill can you please get
Scott for me?" I asked her.

Lisa put me on hold for a second while she got my husband on the
phone. "Hi honey what's up?" my husband asked. I told him the
situation with the car and I told him I had a man taking a look
at it for me. He asked if I needed him to come and pick me up but
I said no for now. I was still hoping that this man would be able
to fix it. I said good bye to my husband and hung up. I got out
of the car again and went to the front of the car to see it he
had found anything. I listened to the possible reasons he listed
off to me as to why this could be happening. I noticed his face
for the first time, before when I ran him over I saw him but I
was so upset with what I had done to him I really didn't pay
attention to his face. He had jet black hair, now incredibly
soaked with the rain storm we were having, and light green eyes.

I couldn't help but notice his lips too. They were very full and
a very healthy shade of pink. He had a small, nicely shaped
goatee on his chin and a trimmed mustache above his top lip. I
felt my cheeks blushing and my body tingling just standing there
with him talking about my car. I laughed a little bit louder than
usual at his small attempts of humor. I felt like a jerk standing
in the pouring ran with this man I didn't even know laughing at
his stupid joke that wasn't even funny and the whole time feeling
this wonderful wave of excitement just for being next to him. I
called AAA and thanked the man for his help. I started to walk
away to go back inside the store to wait for the tow truck. He
came after me and offered to buy me a coffee while I waited. I
gladly accepted so I would have a chance to spend more time with
this handsome stranger.

When I went home that night I found myself laying in bed thinking
about him again. Scott rolled over and started to rub my crotch
gently over my underwear. I closed my eyes and imagined it was
this man for whom I don't even know his name. I moaned softly and
pushed his hand harder into me to create more pressure. I felt
his lips touch mine and I met his kiss with my own hungry kiss. I
pushed him over on the bed and I sat up to straddle him. I
reached down and tore off his t shirt. He looked at me with
surprise and excitement. I tore off my own top and threw it on
the floor. I sat there straddling his chest topless. I started
rubbing my own breasts. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander
while I touched myself letting my husband watch me. I massaged my
nipples until they were hard and then I pulled on them roughly. I
could feel the crotch of my underwear getting wet. I ground
gently into my husbands groin letting him feel my wetness through
the thin cloth of his boxers. He grabbed hold of my arms and
pushed me down on the bed. He pulled off my underwear and spread
my legs. He pulled his boxers down to his knees. He entered me
quickly and finished just as quickly. He rolled off of me and lay
there breathless. "Wow that was incredible, you are so hot." he
said to me between breaths. I just rolled over on my side of the
bed and curled up under the covers. I tried to bring myself to
think about my mystery lover instead of the disappointment
sleeping next to me.

The next morning I stopped to get a cup of coffee before I headed
to work. I stopped at this little coffee shop a couple of blocks
away. I ordered a cup of black coffee and a bagel sandwich with
bacon and egg. I sat there and read the newspaper while I waited
for my order. I felt a hand touch my shoulder making me jump
slightly. I looked up and my heart nearly fell out of my mouth,
it was the man I went to sleep dreaming about last night. I
smiled and said hi. He sat down next to me and we talked for a
few minutes. My order was ready so I paid and started to leave
the restaurant. I turned to him and said goodbye.

As I walked out the restaurant I could feel my own excitement
radiating off of me. I turned back to him and I asked him to walk
me to my car. He did without hesitation. We got outside and I
said to him "I am going to be honest with you, I am married and I
love my husband but I am incredibly attracted to you." He looked
at me for a minute and then kissed me on the lip very gently
sliding his tongue between my lips letting it slide over my
tongue. He pulled away. "I want you too." he said to me. I took
out my cell phone and I called work. I told them I wouldn't be in
today something came up. I told him to get in his car and drive
to a place where we can be together. We pulled out of the parking
lot with him being the leader. In my car driving to a place to
make love to a stranger was the thought I tried to keep out of my
mind instead trying to focus on his touch. After a few miles he
pulled into this small motel and parked in front of the managers
office. I parked a few rows down and watched for him to come out.

I sat there glad for the time to try and pull myself together. I
was so nervous and yet still so turned on. I followed him to the
room. As soon as the door shut we were on each other like animals
ripping and tearing each others clothes off. Heavy breathing
could be heard through passionate, hungry kisses. He pushed me
down on the bed and entered me. I was so excited for him that I
needed no foreplay to orgasm this time, I just needed him inside
of me. He reached down and grabbed a hold of my nipples. He
pumped faster and squeezed hard on my nipples as he came inside
of me. I cried out in pain and excitement as I also reached
orgasm. He pulled out of me and laid down next to me on the bed.
I lay there breathless and amazed. I start to get up off the bed
and he grabs hold of my wrist. "Where are you going?" he asks. I
look down at him and tell him I should go. I start walking around
the room collecting my clothes. Inside I feel this horrible guilt
creeping up.

He gets off of the bed and comes to me. He lifts my chin up with
his hand so he can look into my eyes, "Tell me what's wrong." he
says. As I am starting to get dressed I tell him that I am
married and that I just committed adultery so of course I feel
incredibly guilty about having to go home and lie to my husband
about my day. He asks me why I wanted this to happen in the first
place if I was only going to regret it in the end. I had no
answer for him. All I knew is that I was still very turned on by
this man that I didn't even know. "I think you needed to feel
loved and appreciated. I think you needed to feel sexy." he leans
over and kisses my lips,

"I think you are sexy and beautiful. You shouldn't feel guilty
about having to fulfill a need that your husband can't fill for
you." He kisses me again on the lips deeper this time sliding is
tongue in to my mouth. He kisses me slowly exploring my mouth
with his tongue, sliding his hands over my body. I feel my body
come alive again. I don't want to leave this room. I don't want
to leave this feeling. I surrender to it letting him have
complete control of me. I let him slowly remove my clothes from
my body again. I melt with every kiss and every caress on the
most sensitive places on my body. I arch my chest up to his lips
wanting him to kiss my nipples. He takes hold of my breast gently
with his hand and licks around the nipple several times, at first
he goes very slowly and increases speed with every turn around.
Then when my nipple is very hard he takes it in his mouth like a
piece of candy sucking it slow and steady. With his other hand he
is massaging my other breast, flicking the nipple with his thumb.
He lets go of my nipple and goes to my neck. He kisses very soft
kisses along the base of my neck letting his tongue trail along
with every touch of his lips.

He walks me over to the front of the bed and stands me in front
of the mirror. He kisses all a round my neck until he is standing
behind me. I watch him in the mirror as he kisses my neck and
massages my breasts. I got more turned on than I ever imagined
watching him touch my body. I watch as his hand slides down my
body and between my legs. I spread my legs wider for him propping
one leg up on the end of the bed giving him wider access. I lean
back to kiss him on the lips as he runs his hand through my bush.
My tongue enters his mouth as he slide three fingers into me. I
gasp in pleasure as he begins fucking me with his fingers. I let
my body rock with the motion as I watch his fingers slide into
the hair and between the lips of my pussy. I grab my own nipples
rolling them between my fingertips. He follows his kisses all the
way down my back, running a tongue along my ass crack and to the
bottom of my butt cheeks. He crawls around to the front of me and
has me sit down on the bed. He kisses me on the lips again
sliding his tongue over my bottom lip and nipping at my lips with
his teeth.

Smiling at me as he asks me to lay back on the bed. I do as he
asks and he guides me by lifting up my legs to the end of the
mattress and spreading my legs open in front of him. He spreads
my pussy lips open with his fingers and I feel a shot of hot
electricity as he tongue touches my clit.. He lets his tongue do
a little exploring before settling on my clit flicking it and
sucking on it gently. I had never felt a sensation so intense
before. I didn't know how to handle the emotions inside of me. My
hips started to buck up to meet his tongue. I reached down and
ran my hands through his hair pushing his face down harder into
my crotch. He sucked harder on my clit and slammed four fingers
into my dripping hot pussy. I felt something inside of me explode
and I felt dizzy, lightheaded all at the same time. I was making
a sound that almost sounded like I was singing. He kept sucking
on my clit long after the singing stopped. He stopped suddenly
and came up to me on the bed, he brushed away the sweaty hair
clung to my forehead and kissed me.

I tasted myself on his breath and I pull him hard to me. I kiss
him deeply. I licked his lips with my tongue tasting myself all
over his face. We kept kissing each other. I wrapped my legs
around his waist and reached down between us. I wrapped my hand
around his hard cock and guided it inside of me. He sat up and
lifted my legs up so that my ankles were around his neck. He
stated slamming into me hard and fast. I moved my hips to the
rhythm of his fucking as we met he slammed into me harder.

He grabbed a hold of my hips and kept pounding into me. I had
never been fucked with such intensity. He came hard inside of me
but still kept up his rhythm until I came. We separated on the
bed both tired and sweaty but satisfied. After a few minutes we
got up off the bed. We didn't say a word as we went through the
room collecting our clothes. Once we were dressed I went to him
and kissed him on the lips. He grabbed a hold of me and hugged me
for a minute. He walked out together and he gave me his cell
phone number. "Call me whenever you want me, no strings
attached." He kissed me on the cheek and walked to his car. I
walked to my car and got inside. I sat there for a minute and
then I opened my purse to find a hiding place for his number.
Just before I put his number away in its spot I looked at it and
realized for the first time since meeting this mystery man that I
didn't even know his name until this moment. On the piece of
paper it said Paul and his number. I put it away and then I drove
home.

Once I got home I immediately jumped into the shower so I could
wash all of my days activities away. I got out of the shower I
went into the bedroom to get clothes. I jumped with surprise when
I saw Scott sitting on the bed waiting for me. "Jesus, you scared
the shit out of me! What are you doing home so early?" I ask him.
He gets up from the bed and walks towards me. "I called you a
work today to see if you wanted to have lunch with me but they
told me you weren't in . They told me you called out sick today."

He kept walking towards me until we were backed up against the
wall. I tried to keep my cool while thinking of an explanation,
"I decided on my way to work to take the day off so I just hung
out and did some shopping." I said looking him straight in the
eye. "That's what I figured, but I wish you had called me because
I was worried about you when I heard you called out sick." he
said to me looking back at me and I saw a look creep into his
eyes that made my heart hurt, I saw concern and I saw love. "I
tried to call you a few times today and you didn't answer. I was
getting worried so I came home early." he explained to me. I
reached for him and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and
returned the hug squeezing alittle tighter than needed.

My eyes welled up with tears that he thought were love for him
but inside I felt guiltier than ever. Instead of confessing my
sins I went to him and took him in my arms again. We held each
other for a long time. Finally after several minutes he pulled
away from me and told me to get dressed. He told me to wear
something really nice because he was taking me out to dinner
someplace fancy tonight. I smiled and kissed him on the lips. He
sat down on the bed while I went into the closet to find
something to wear. He watched me closely as I got dressed. I
finally couldn't take it anymore and asked him why he was
watching me? His reply was because he liked looking at my body
and he liked watching me move. I looked down at his crotch and
saw a pitched tent. He reached down and unzipped his pants "How
about you suck me off before dinner?" He asked me with a pleading
look on his face. I walked over to him and got down on my knees
in front of him.

Right now I was feeling so guilty that I think he could of had
pretty much anything he asked for. I took him in my mouth and
sucked the same way he fucked me, hard and fast. He came quickly.
I swallowed with a grimace, got up and went into the bathroom. I
brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash. When I came out of
the bathroom he was on his way out of the bedroom. He looked back
at me and told me he would be waiting downstairs. I finished
getting dressed deciding to put on my sexy black velvet dress and
black heels. I redid my make up and hair. I went downstairs and
Scott was just hanging up the phone. I asked him who he was
talking to and he told me just the restaurant making
reservations. I watched his face and I could always tell when my
husband lied to me, this was one of those time. I let it go
though and smiled as I walked towards the door. We went out that
night and had a good time together. When we got home I was
slightly buzzed from the wine. I let Scott take me to bed where
we made love and I for the first time in a long time had an
orgasm with him. I fell asleep in his arms and dreamt about Paul
the whole night.

In the morning when I woke up Scott was already gone. I looked
over at the alarm clock and saw that it was still really early. I
got up and started getting ready for work. I called Scott on the
cell phone to see where he was and it turned out he had an early
morning meeting he was getting ready for. We bid our love for
each other and hung up. I then called the other cell phone number
I had been dying to call since yesterday afternoon, but I got a
voice mail. I hung up without leaving a message. While I was
driving to work my cell phone rang. I picked it up and looked at
the number on the screen and my heart leaped up in my throat as I
saw it was Paul's cell phone number. I pressed the answer button
and said hello. "Hey beautiful, how are you this morning?" the
voice on the other end of the phone asked. I couldn't help
smiling like a fool "I feel great actually better than I have
felt in a long time. You?' I replied back. "I feel great too but
I have this one problem.." he said, "I miss you very much."

All I could manage to do was giggle like a teenaged girl. I felt
like an idiot, but I couldn't help it. "Meet me." he said. I
couldn't meet him now I thought today I have to go to work. "No I
can't right now even though I really want to but I have to go to
work today." I said with great disappointment. Then I had an idea
" I have lunch from noon to 1:30pm today and there is a motel
right down the street." He loved that idea. So it was set and
that is how it continues today. I look forward to coming here
everyday. I love that we don't know hardly anything about each
other. I love the way he touches me and I definitely love having
2 or 3 orgasms every day before I go back to work but things have
changed in the last few hours this day. I haven't been feeling
well so just on a chance I took a pregnancy test and it came back
positive. Now the dilemma I am facing is whose is it? I never
thought that would be a question I would need to ask myself.

Obviously I will tell my husband it is his because even though I
like the non relationship Paul and I have I don't love him, I
lust him. So I sit here in my car deciding if I should even go in
and feel what it is like to be a sexy satisfied woman one more
time or just drive away and forget about him. As I am sitting
there thinking of what to do there is a knock on the car window I
look up startled to see Paul standing there looking at me. I roll
down the window and tell him that I can't stay today something
has come up. "I'll call you on your cell later." I say to him as
I start up my car. I drive out of the parking lot leaving him
standing there watching me. As I am driving down the road my cell
rings. I answer it and it is Paul. "I know something is wrong."
he said "I don't pretend to know what it is but if you want to
tell me I am listening." I thank him but tell him that I am fine
just that something came up today. "Ok well since that is the
case there is something I want to talk to you about" he says to
me his voice sounding lighter and happier now.

I listen to him speak with growing dread. "I just was thinking
about you while I was waiting for you, well actually I think
about you all the time." he confesses "Well anyway I don't know
how you feel about me but I have fallen in love with over these
past few weeks. That is why ...." I didn't let him finish as I
hung up the phone. I shut it off and throw it in the backseat. I
wipe the tears from my cheeks as I drove home. I pull in my
driveway a few minutes later and turn off the car. I sat there
for a longtime crying. I cried because of the way I have
disrespected my husband, I cried because in a different life I
would of gladly accepted Paul's love for me and I cried because I
was pregnant with a child whose father I didn't know. When at
last I had no more tears left in me I pulled myself out of the
car and went into the house.

A few minutes later Scott pulled into the driveway and I prepared
myself for the news I was about to tell him. He came in the door
and I waited for him to come into the kitchen. He walked in and
saw me sitting at the table waiting for him. I said hi to him and
asked him to come sit at the table with me. He did as I asked
looking at me with questioning eyes.. He sits down and I take his
hands in mine, look up at him and say "Honey I am pregnant." I am
waiting for him to be happy and hug me but instead he pulls away
from me. I feel scared, his eyes are stranger than I have ever
seen them. " I have something to tell you too" he said quietly.
He got up and went to his briefcase and pulled out a large
envelope. He brought it over to the table and handed it to me. I
opened it up and pulled out a doctors form. I began reading it
and my heart nearly stopped as I read that my husband was
infertile. I looked up at him shocked and speechless. "Look at
the rest of the envelope" he said. I pulled out the rest of the
papers and saw they were pictures. I scanned the pictures and
threw them down on the table. A copy of a check fell out of the
pile of pictures. I picked it up and saw that it was for one
thousand dollars written out to a Paul Mcneil. I got up quickly
and went to the sink. I wanted to throw up. My mind was spinning
was to what I should say to my husband now. He came up behind me
and started talking to me, "I found out I was infertile a month
ago. I was devastated because I knew how much you wanted kids,
how much we both want kids. I didn't want to tell you, I was so
ashamed. Then one day I was thinking and came up with an idea. We
were in the park and I noticed how other men looked at you. I
hired a man that I felt had promising qualities that I would like
in our child. I hired him to seduce you and impregnate you. I
didn't think it was going to be as easy as it was but..." I no
longer heard what he was saying. I looked up at him in total
shock, my body had gone cold "You are lying." I said in choked
sobs that were threatening to take over.

"No honey, I swear to you I hired a man to fuck you and get you
pregnant. I wanted to pass it off as my own child and never tell
you but just now when you told me I suddenly hated you. I know
that sounds crazy since I set you up but I guess I was hoping you
wouldn't fall for it." I slapped him across the face hard as I
could. Shock ran across his eyes.  He grabbed my wrist and
twisted it behind my back. "You want to be a fucking slut? You
want to fuck every man that walks by you? I watched you with this
man. I watched him fuck you every time." he was yelling at me as
he was pulling me up towards the stairs. I was trying to fight
him but he grabbed a hold of my hair as he twisted my arm tighter
causing me pain. I walked up the stairs listening to him yell at
me. "You are such a fucking bitch. You fuck some other guy and
have the balls to come home to me and lie in my face.

I really thought I could handle it but I think what killed it was
you liked it to damn much!" He pushed me into the room. He pushed
me away from him and ordered me to strip. I was crying really
hard and I shook my head no. He slapped me across the face and
yelled again for me to strip. "Take your fucking clothes off you
nasty filthy fucking whore." he screamed. I quickly took off my
clothes and dropped them in a pile on the floor. I tried to cover
myself up with my hands. He walked over to me and told me to shut
the fuck up. I tried so hard to stop crying but I couldn't. He
slapped me again, hard making me spin around in a half circle.
"Get on the bed." he ordered in an angry voice. I got on the bed
and laid down as he instructed me to. I had never seen him like
this and I was scared of what else he might do. I laid on my back
with hands and feet spread out. He quickly tied me very tightly
to all four corners of the bed posts. I cried in pain of the
ropes cutting into my skin and I cried in fear of my husband. I
begged him to please let me go. He put a gag around my lips to
prevent me from speaking anymore. I laid there on my very own bed
defenseless. He walked in circles around the bed looking at me
like a hungry wolf.

He reached down and grabbed a hold of my nipple and gave it a
hard twist. My eyes widened in pain and tears continued to leak
from my eyes. He started talking to me again. "You hurt me so I
am going to give you alittle pay back. I know that part of this
is my fault, I know that but I wasn't thinking straight. I never
imagined you would enjoy it so much. I know I am a bad lover. I
know that...."he started getting hysterical and trailing off in
his thoughts. He continued ranting and circling me as he removed
his clothes. When he was finally naked he stopped circling me and
stood right in front of me. He grabbed a hold of his cock and
started stroking it. He laughed "I am going to show you the kind
of lover I can be and you will be apologizing to me for the rest
of your fucking life you stupid bitch." He went to the end of the
bed and untied my legs. He bent my legs up and he slapped a hand
down against my pussy lips. He slapped hard and the pain of the
slap rippled through my body. Craziness must have taken over
because I was tied to a bed, gagged and threatened by my own
husband but my pussy was soaking wet. He felt the wetness and
laughed out loud. He slapped my pussy again and pinched the lips
hard with his fingertips. "You fucking sick whore. You are
fucking turned on by this?" he said without expecting a reply.

He lifted my legs up high and I could feel his cock pushing
against my ass cheeks. With one of his hands he opened my cheeks
and rammed his cock hard into my ass. I felt pain and cried out
behind my gag. He laughed at me and started fucking my ass. "Does
this turn you on bitch?" My eyes welled up with tears in the pain
he was causing me but as he kept fucking I tried to relax as much
as I could so my ass would open up for him. I felt myself open up
wider and the pain stopped almost entirely. He was inside me
grunting like an animal. He reached up and grabbed my tits again
and squeezed both of them, pulling on them as he fucked me. The
pain was extraordinary but something about it felt good too. He
pulled his cock out of my ass suddenly and pushed it into my
pussy. He fucked me hard slamming into my body. I looked up at
him while he was inside of me, his eyes were closed and I heard
him moaning softly. He grabbed my hips and squeezed the skin with
his fists.

He squeezed tighter and tighter until I thought I was going to
pass out. Finally I felt his body shudder and his grip released.
He got off the bed and went around the bed and untied me. He
grabbed me by the hair and lifted me off of the bed. He dragged
me over to the closet. He reached in the closet and pulled out
his black leather belt. I still had my gag on so I couldn't
scream but the fear of the pain I was about to feel terrified me.
He pulled me over to the edge of the bed and pushed me down. He
told me to get on my knees. I moved to slowly for him because he
slapped the back of my leg with the belt. I moved quickly to get
into position. I felt the first hard slap of leather against my
skin and threw up. I had to pull my gag off with my hand or I
would have choked on it. I heard dead silence behind me which was
scarier than the laughing. Slap after slap of the leather belt
against my ass with no sound coming out of him at all. I tried
not to cry because I didn't want to provoke him but finally when
the pain became too much I started sobbing. No words were said by
him as he pulled me up off of the bed and brought me into the
bathroom.

He started a bath and lifted me into it. The warm water against
my bruises stung badly and made me cry out. I couldn't look at
him as he sat next to the bathtub and washed me. When he was done
he helped me out of the shower and dried me off. A trickle of
blood ran down my leg and I didn't know if it was from the anal
fuck or the whipping I got. When I was free to go I walked away
from him and went back into the bedroom. I wasn't sure what had
just happened. I don't know if what my husband just did to me was
rape or not. I felt dirty with the thought of it. I got a
nightgown on and climbed into bed even though it was only 4
o'clock in the afternoon. I cried myself to sleep that afternoon.
When I woke up later in the night he was sleeping next to me
snoring softly. We never spoke of that day again.

We are still together and have a son who is 2yrs old. I never saw
Paul again but I see small resemblances of him in my son. Since
that one horrible day Scott and I have gone to counseling and
grown much closer. I have never seen anymore evidence of that
violence and insanity that I saw that day in my husband. We are
also involved in sex therapy and our sex life has improved
greatly. He has become the lover that I have been looking for all
along.


                         -- The End --


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