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Message-ID: <40559asstr$1043277002@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #016 - 22-Jan-2003
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2003 18:10:02 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
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Well, this week Rui Jorge agreed to continue in the capacity of
official link provider. You can thank him for providing the
excellent web/ftp links that you find in here for your viewing
convenience.  It takes a fair bit of effort to track down accurate
story links and methods to access other works by the reviewed
author. I should know because I simply don't have time to do it.

Thanks, Rui.

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The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www
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Story Summary:
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Faithful Companion -- Leowulf
    (M/Fembot, oral, rom)
    [9,8,9,7]

Again? -- Allison George and Homer Vargas 
    (MF)
    [8,6,8,6]

Fugitive Woman -- Varangian
    (MF oral violence)
    [10,10,10,9]

The Prattingville Pussy Posse -- Kelly Adams
    (ff+, lt bond)
    [9,10,9,10]

Nine Minutes -- Terri Madison
    (MF, flash)
    [10,10,10,10]

Camping (with Cheri) -- Ginny Walker
    (FF 1st Trib)
    [8,10,10,9]

Walking the Dog Chapters 1-4 -- smilodon
    (M/F, cons)
    [10,10,10,10]

Reviews:

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Faithful Companion -- Leowulf
    (M/Fembot, oral, rom)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40412

Other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=Leowulf&index=name!(Cmit=Search

Tenny arrives home after a difficult day. An empty, lonely house
greets him as he settles into his favourite chair. Jenny appears, a
gorgeous robot, programmed to understand and respond to his every
need. And respond, she does.

Given the premise of the story, Leo does an admirable job of
providing character to both Tenny and Jenny (ooh, that's cute, they
rhyme, I just noticed that). And given its short length, (the story
people ... focus), Leo introduces us to the issues that might
surround such a strange relationship. This story is more than simply
fucking a machine.  Does a robot feel? How can one love something
other than human?

I'm not sure if it was the brevity of the story or not, but I didn't
leave the story quite satisfied. I have to admit that I didn't
understand Tenny's treatment of Jenny, especially in the beginning.
In the early part of the story, Jenny is quite submissive, and Tenny
calls her 'bitch'. I'm sure it was a stab at sexual power play, but
when Leo failed to integrate it into the story line, he lost my
sympathy for Tenny. He seemed only callous and shallow. Such
behaviour without reason seems unnecessary, even with a robot.
Worse, it made Jenny seems even less human -- perhaps the point?
Don't get me wrong, power play is not foreign to me -- I simply
couldn't connect with this stab at it. You might.

Overall, quite readable, and enjoyable for what it was. I suppose I
simply can't relate to the situation presented here, and find it
difficult to suspend my disbelief about the emotions that were
supposed to be present. But then again, loving a robot, and vice
versa, can't be the easiest subject to present. Kudos for the
attempt.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :    8
Character/Plot  :    9
Crimson         :    7

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Again? -- Allison George and Homer Vargas 
    (MF)

http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40484

Homer's site: 
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Vargas/www/

Allison's other works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=allison_george%40hotmail.com&index=email&submit=Search

Allison and LW are a couple. Allison is a brilliant physicist, while
LW used to be a high school football star, and now makes a living at
"Rooters", the local male strip club. Allison and LW are hopelessly
in love, and have been for a long time.

A warning. Not to get into yet another silly story code war, but
while the story codes above are probably correct as they stand, I
personally think they were rather light. If it were up to me, I
would have added: 'FF slut preg multiple orgy humour' along with the
MF codes. MF is simply not enough to cover the contents of this
story, IMHO.

Now, I don't know if this was supposed to be a humorous piece, or
whether it was meant as more of a stroke story. While I found myself
shaking my head and smiling at some of the absurdity within, I
couldn't help but wonder what the point of it all was. The
character's dual nature, I think, was meant to be funny. The
brilliant female scientist that hasn't a clue about sex and birth
control, but can solve eleventh dimensional integrals. The former
football star/stripper that craves sex, and yet is content to wait
for the virgin with a big set of hooters. I think the authors were
trying for a humour element in that, but I simply found the
characters unbelievable, and as such I couldn't really connect with
the story. It simply wasn't consistent enough for my tastes.

I wonder at the lack of acknowledgement of deceit. Both characters
get up to some questionable shenanigans, and yet the authors appear
to glorify the behaviour, treat it as routine, and acceptable
assuming that we, as readers, simply agree with the acceptability
that portrayed. I suspect that this only reflects sexual fantasy,
and that's fair enough, but it does contribute to a sense of
shallowness that I felt throughout the story. Fine for stroke, but
the characters *could* have been so much more than they were:

"I fucked a roomful of men last weekend, honey! And a woman. Yum."

"Wonderful. I couldn't be happier, Allison. Let's fuck some more!
Telling me that got me soooo hot again."

You get the picture. If characters were going to be that shallow
when it matters, why give them a history at all, or anything more
than 44D hooters? The potential depth of them both is ruined by
simplistic libido.

Now, having said that, my view is hardly an important one. When one
is looking for pure sexual fantasy, depth of character may be a
detriment, and so, perhaps Allison and Homer recognise that and this
story may appeal to most, more than it does to me.

[ She always came to the games to cheer for him, {though even} if she 
  could never seem quite to get the hang of the rules. ]

I think that there needs to be a comma between the marked words, but
the structure of the sentence is simply awkward.

[ "Oh, darling, {that's most} wonderful news that I've had since you 
  said yes to marrying me." ]

Missing article?

[ "... Of course, I said that way it takes care of all those pesky 
  little spermies {were} they were weak from swimming. Never mind he 
  said, you're ... " ]

"when"? 

Sentence structure could probably use a few commas to make it
readable ...

Overall, a fun story, but not a particularly deep one. But then, I
have this nagging suspicion that this is exactly what Allison and
Homer were aiming to do.

Technical       :    8
Eros            :    6
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    6

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Fugitive Woman -- Varangian
    (MF oral violence)

The story:
http://www.kellistry.com/varang/fugwom05.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40433

Author's Site:
http://www.kellistry.com/varang/varindex.htm

Fred is a 65-year-old widower, whose largest ambition in life is to
roam the country, leaving fate to decide his journey. As he's
heading down the on-ramp, he spies a rather frightened, and nervous
thirty-ish woman, thumb outstretched. Fred shrugs, pulls over, and
meets Minnie, a fugitive of sorts. Together, they roam, and grow
together.

Truthfully, after a few paragraphs, I was expecting a typical
generational sex story. Old guy picks up gorgeous younger hitchhiker
who offers her body in a cheap motel room for payment for her ride.
I couldn't have been more wrong. Both Fred and Minnie have their
problems, and they are delightfully human. Varangian spins a good
tale here, as well as providing a touch of sex.  The characters grow
together, and while I can't say that I liked where they ended up
exactly, it was realistic. Sometimes life is like that.

[... old man who demanded nothing of her, at least so far.  She could
  not imagine he {would keep hands off} after they were in bed
  together, and she was prepared for anything. ... ]

Missed a 'his'? Or maybe not. Could simply be the style of the
piece. Technically, though, this story is very readable. Clear,
concise and expressive.

Certainly worth a look.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

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The Prattingville Pussy Posse -- Kelly Adams
    (ff+, lt bond)

The Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kelly/www/ppp1.txt
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40416

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kelly/www/

Prattingville has its cliques like every small town does. We join
Erica's initiation into a particularly ... sexy ... high school
club. You see, the babes of Prattingville (where did that name come
from?) band together and form an exclusively female club where its
members have sex, sex, and more sex. Carol has sponsored Erica, and
one might guess what Erica must do to convince the existing members
that she's worthy of joining.

Don't sweat the light bondage in the story codes. Sure, the
initiation involves some bondage, but it is harmless, and sexy.

(By the way, Kelly ... is the president of our little club Kathryn 
 or Katherine? I really think you need to make a choice ... <grin>)

In Kelly's own words:

[ It has little socially redeeming qualities--unless of course
  you consider wall-to-wall lesbian teen sex socially redeeming ;) ]

(Yes, sometimes I do read the prefaces ...)

And she's right ... there isn't a great deal of socially redeeming
plot-lines, or heavy messages. The girls are there for one reason,
and one reason only. Despite that, it is clear what Kelly's intent
here is. And surprisingly, with the story's heavy reliance on sex,
there is character here. I genuinely liked Erica, and Carol, and
all the rest of the girls.

Kelly is going for fun, fun, and more fun. And maybe I was simply in
the mood for reading a light, sexy story, and maybe this is written
a lot better than most stroke stories ... either way, Kelly
succeeded. Sometimes wall-to-wall lesbian teen sex is socially
redeeming. Nobody got hurt. And everyone was happy (including the
Dragon).

You won't find me recommending many stroke-type stories here.  But
this one is different, and I can't quite put my claw on why.

It's fun. Go read it.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    9
Crimson         :   10

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Nine Minutes -- Terri Madison
    (MF, flash)

The story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40431

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/terrimadison/www
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/terrimadison

Editorial Note:
    Terri didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story codes 
    are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.

I absolutely hate it when the alarm goes off in the mornings. The
snooze button is my friend. Nevertheless, what if it wasn't your
alarm clock, and you were irretrievably awake? Sweet revenge?

This really short vignette reads suspiciously true to life.  One has
to wonder about the inspiration for it.

Excellent image, Terri. I'm still smiling.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

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Camping (with Cheri) -- Ginny Walker
    (FF 1st Trib)

The story:
http://www.geocities.com/wcollege2001/story/camping.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40485

Author's Site:
http://www.geocities.com/wcollege2001

This is the first year that our narrator has spent away from her
folks. Deep in Florida, our narrator meets Cheri, a girl
mysteriously glad to be away from her Colorado family. The two girls
are thrust together as roommates, and discover that they make good
friends despite their differing interests. Now, our narrator has
been hiding her orientation from everyone, including her folks, and
friends. The pleasures of the female sex occupy her thoughts and
fantasies. So when Cheri invites our narrator to tag along on a
Christmas canoe trip, she agrees and the stage is set.

[ I wrestled {with to} do - should I invite her to my house?  Or 
  should I confront her about what ... ]

"what"?

[ The river and surrounding vegetation {was} spectacular. ]

Gotta be careful with singular/plural tenses.

[ Now I was beat red. ]

Unless she was playing heavy S&M games ... I suspect Ginny meant
"beet".

Overall, the story was very readable -- a wonderful first person
account of the trepidation of sexual confusion. I liked the
settings, the love in the dark was realistic and lovingly told. I
would have liked to understand a few of the dangling premises --
Cheri's reluctance to go home for holidays, or why our narrator had
never seen her roommate naked before ... even innocently. Just minor
consistency and explanatory quibbles. Nothing serious. Expanding
some of the subplots might have fleshed out the characters a little
more, but honestly, the characters weren't lacking as they were.
Human. Real. What else can a Dragon ask?

Technical       :    8
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

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Walking the Dog Chapters 1-4 -- smilodon
    (M/F, cons)

The story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Walking%20the%20Dog.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40476

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/

Damn it, I swore that I wouldn't review any more multi-part stories.
First Bradley Stoke's "Alice" -- then smilodon posts this. Granted,
I didn't realise that the story continues past Chapter 4 when I
downloaded it, but nevertheless that doesn't give me an excuse for
rating it. <sigh> So much for New Year's resolutions.

You see, Martin Booth is a Tax Lawyer. He collects sculptures, and
basically flows through life as most of us do. Quiet. Enjoying the
simple things in life. When he meets Steph, she completely
overwhelms this simple man, thrusting him into a more wild life.
And he loves her for it. Of course, all good things must come to an
end, and Steph has wandered on her own course, one that doesn't
involve our Martin. We join Martin on a cold English beach in
Norfolk, returning slowly to his former life, somewhat enjoying the
solitude and company of his two dogs, Trotsky and Magic.

In the distance, he spies a woman, walking slowly towards him, and
so enters Angela. I have to wonder if Martin's life will ever be the
same. Who is Angela? And what is going on?  Martin doesn't seem to
be the James Bond type, does he?

Smilodon has created a wonderful beginning to a tale of intrigue and
honour and mystery in this, our little erotic haven. I love the
style of the story telling, the characters, and the plot so far. I'm
honestly dying to read the next instalment.

Be warned. As is usual for smilodon, the sex is not central to the
story. The story is better because of it, but if you are looking for
mindless stroke, this probably isn't for you. If you want a story
that carries one along, with real characters, this might be more
your league. Smilodon cares about his characters and the plots
spinning around them. Martin and Angela are superbly crafted.

[ ... in the jaws of the estuary above the liver-coloured flott. A 
  slatternly wind was ruffling the tussocks of coarse grass that 
  grew along the littoral, doing nothing to shift the grey curtain. 
  The air smelt of salt and older, ...]

Honestly. I had to look up like four words in this passage.

(And just what the heck is a 'flott'???)

But I popped this into the review not as a critique ... I do enough
of that ... but rather to point out that I'm impressed. While some
might complain that the vocabulary might be a little pompous or
extended for our audience, I prefer to believe that we all enjoy
learning something new. The passage above is exceptionally
expressive, and a testament to smiley's ability and talent as a
writer. Better, it fits wonderfully into the style and atmosphere of
the piece.  Well done, smiley.

[ ... have lived in two or three cramped rooms. Angela must have 
  seen me coming for {she me met} at the door. "Very punctual," she 
  said, "Please come in." ... ]

The more common usage: she met me.

Nevertheless, I can't tell if smilodon did this on purpose.
Technically, I think it is quite correct, simply a transposed
object.

There were a few technical issues in the last chapter of this
offering, but I'm not going to point them out here. They simply
don't detract whatsoever from the enjoyment of this piece.

I feel that I've read enough of this story to rate it, despite my
resolutions to the contrary -- these four chapters were longer than
any of the previous reviewed stories. Keep in mind that the story
isn't complete, though, even if the rating is unsurprisingly high.

Go read this. And smilodon had better get cracking on releasing the
next parts. That's all I have to say.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10


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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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