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Archive name: 3some.txt (MMF, FFM, swingers)
Authors name: Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)
Story title : A Guide to Three-way Sex

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author (C) 2002.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

A Guide to Three-way Sex
By Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)

***

Sorry in advance about any grammatical errors or typos, 
feel free to point them out to me. This artical was
written for the Kristen Archives Learning Center.

***

This article is about swingers, specifically threesomes 
or Tri-sexual relationships. I have purposely limited 
myself to the three-way theme because to try and cover 
the whole gambit of sexual swinger combinations would 
require writing a book. 

Even though there is a universe of different three-way 
partnerships out there I'm sticking with heterosexual 
relationships, although even this type of relationship 
usually entails some bi-sexual activity and that is 
also covered in this article.


MY PERSONAL OPINIONS:
---------------------

It is my firm belief that when a man looks at a woman 
he is always imagining her as a sex partner. This may 
be a subconscious act, but it's still happening. The 
male of the species was designed to be the aggressive 
partner in procreation and genetically he can't help 
having those thoughts.

Because the male is the way he is, he will usually be 
the instigator in any sexual experimentation, while his 
female partner will usually be reticent or negative 
about experimenting outside of their monogamous 
relationship. Women are genetically designed to 
nurture, and their focus was to build a nest to care 
for the offspring that their mating has produced.

In this day and age the genetic rule no longer applies 
absolutely. Women have a sexual freedom that was 
unheard of only 40-years ago. Now there is true 
equality between the sexes in bed. Even in birth 
control.

It is my experience that the partner that instigates 
threesome sex is mostly the male. That old gene still 
rules a man deep down. The old urge to spread his seed 
far and wide makes the male more interested in multiple 
sex partners.


HERE ARE SOME FACTS ABOUT THREESOMES:
-------------------------------------

The average couple looking for a third partner in their 
relationship has been together for more than 7 years 
and the male has not necessarily been completely 
faithful to his female partner in the past. 

In a small proportion of couples looking for an 
additional partner, the female is the aggressor, (less 
than 2%) this is usually because the male is passive in 
their relationship and the female craves a more 
dominate male sex partner.

Couples who take in a third party usually break up 
within 3-years of their first experience. This of 
course is only slightly higher than the general public 
that shows that relationships for couples under 30-
years old last no more than 4.5 years on average.

Statistics that I've compiled imply that over 75% of 
threesomes are two females and one male. Think about 
it. If the man is usually the instigator; most men want 
to have sex with more than one woman, so why would they 
chose another guy who would get to use his woman.

A Swingers International article some time ago stated 
that the United States had at least 750,000 couples 
that "swing" at least once a month. That's a lot of 
couples. And out of those couples a good 60% were 
threesomes. Threesomes are an ever-increasing life 
style because when it works out right it is intense, 
exciting and safer. Much more so that partner swapping.

Partner swapping is a fast way to divorce. When you 
change partners and have sex, that most intimate 
feeling between couples transfers to a new partner, 
even if for only a short time. Repeat that experience 
with the same person several times and the bond grows 
even stronger.

Threesomes on the other hand can build a stronger 
couple relationship. I say this because a couple can 
accept a third person into their bed and share the 
intensity of their relationship with him or her without 
losing the intimacy between themselves.


HOW I GOT STARTED:
------------------

My first threesome was at the age of 19 and I was in 
the military. I was stationed in Germany and was having 
the time of my life. Our base was outside a decent 
sized town and we generally never had to do any field 
exercises, so got to go into town just about every 
night.

I struck up a relationship with one of the girls that 
did the GI bar scene and soon began having regular sex. 
Her name was Angie and she was a very good-looking girl 
with dark hair and brown eyes and a wonderful smile.

One of my buddies was much more aggressive with the 
women than I was and was always talking about getting 
blowjobs in the park at night, and was always playing 
one girl against another to force them to go farther 
and farther out on a limp sexually.

He was my roommate at the time and one night I'd headed 
back to base early and was in bed and asleep when 
sometime later I was woken by someone coming in through 
the window of our room. It turned out to be my roommate 
and his latest girlfriend.

To make a long story short -- When he found that I was 
there, he invited me to join them. Apparently he had 
already discussed a threesome with the girl and she'd 
agreed in the forlorn hope that he would love her for 
it.

Looking back I realize how pathetic the situation was 
but being 19-years-old my hormones wouldn't allow any 
other response than to accept his most generous offer.

That night was the first time I saw another guy 
screwing a girl up close, and it was also the first 
time any other guy saw me hard, and having sex with a 
woman. At the time I felt awkward and embarrassed, but 
looking back on the experience the next day I realized 
it had been more exciting than anything I'd ever done 
before, and I never forgot it.

After that nightlong fuckfest I was always trying to 
repeat it. I think that's why I have been in so many 
three-way relationships since then.

I've been asked to give you some pointers, to share my 
experience, and that is where we're headed now. I don't 
think I can justify this type of sexual relationship 
other than to say that it is one of the most intense 
sexual experiences you'll ever have.

You know what it's like to have sex with your lover; it 
is the most intimate act you can perform with another 
human being, right? Well times 10 that feeling when 
you're in the right threesome. The keyword of coursed 
being, "right".


WHY WOULD YOU TAKE A THIRD PERSON INTO YOUR SEXUAL
--------------------------------------------------
RELATIONSHIP?
-------------

Remember how your sex was when you first hooked up with 
your partner? It was intense and satisfying every time. 
It was a magical time. Many couples accept that over 
time their sexual union will slacken and eventually 
become routine.

What if you met a great single guy or girl that you 
both really liked? What if you asked them into your bed 
to share your loving relationship? Would there be a new 
thrill to your sex? Well, would there?

The trick is to know how to ask them to join in and 
when it's time to move on, how and when to kiss them 
good-bye. Because if your relationship is to survive 
unscathed a firm exit strategy has to be agreed on 
before your even start.

There are many reasons why a couple will invite another 
in to their relationship and I won't try to guess what 
yours is. As I've said my reason has always been the 
excitement, the feeling of freedom in my relationships 
with women and the extra intensity of the sex.


WHO WOULD BE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO TRY THREESOMES?
------------------------------------------------

In short, you would. If you're reading this article you 
already must have some interest in trying it out. But 
before continuing on we need to weed out those who are 
just fantasizing from those who know they will.

You need to be able to accept the following facts of 
life about three-ways if you're determined to try it.

1. Some of the time your mate is going to get used by 
the opposite sex. Don't expect your lover to only 
accept their own gender for your sake. You'll end up 
having to share them with someone who looks a lot like 
you. And that's a fact.

2. Disease. There are all kinds. I've survived because 
I don't sleep around with just anyone. But it is a fear 
that pervades the whole experience. You should try to 
go with people you've known for a while, and 
unfortunately condoms are something that is just a why 
of life. But there are some really cool condoms 
(lambskins for example) that make the experience just 
fine if you're careful.

3. Bisexuality. Sorry but you'll have to get used to 
that too. You will now have two lovers, and sometimes 
one of them will be your same sex. I never could 
understand the guys who think that their women should 
take to kissing and fondling each other, but when it 
was their turn to do something with another guy they 
ended up like vestal virgins, "Not me! No way!"

4. Body fluids and excretions. If you get three people 
on a bed having sex there is bound to be messy stuff 
that you'll have to taste and feel and rub against. If 
being human bothers you, you should look for one of 
those plastic doll thingy-mah-bobs.

5. If you're not ready to give as much as your spouse 
then you'll end up in big trouble and shouldn't enter 
into a threesome. (Unless it is for short-term 
gratification, and that of course would make you a 
jerk.)


TALK TO YOU PARTNER FIRST:
--------------------------

First you must discuss the three-way concept with your 
partner. He or she must agree to an experimental 
lesion. If you're dumb enough to spring it on them your 
relationship is headed for the rocks fast.

I suggest bring the subject up first during foreplay. 
Once your partner is obviously aroused tell him or her 
that you have this reoccurring fantasy about sharing. 
It can be right out of the blue and can even increase 
the sexual experience just by talking about it. You 
might want to pick someone for your "fantasy" you know 
your partner likes, a TV personality or movie star, or 
the hot neighbor next-door.

If your partner is generally uptight about sharing his 
or her body with a third person, my suggestion is to 
bring your "fantasy" up most times as part of your 
foreplay. Many partners must be talked into to joining 
in, this is because most of us have learned from an 
early age that our Judeo-Christian society frowns on 
people who have sex with more than one person at a 
time, and that it is perverted and wrong.

You'll find though, that your partner, over time, will 
become used to your "fantasy foreplay" and will begin 
to fantasize on their own about a co-worker or a 
neighbor, or movie star during your fantasy foreplay. 
The cool thing about this approach is that they will 
begin to share their fantasies with you so you will be 
able to gauge when to take the next step.

All of the above is obvious manipulation of your 
partner. There is no other way to put it. But if sexual 
experimentation is important enough to you, you'll just 
have to stoop to it this once. Once your partner is 
onboard, the fun can begin and you can be as 
straightforward as you want.

A NOTE CAUTION: Please keep in mind just because you 
want a threesome to happen doesn't mean that your 
partner ever will. Some people will never want to 
participate in something so sexually bazaar and no 
matter how much you urge them on, nothing will change 
their mind. 


HOW TO GET STARTED:
-------------------

Once you and your partner are on the same page it's 
time to decide with who and how to go about inviting 
another person into your relationship.

As far as a third party goes, I usually look for a 
middle-aged man or woman who has been in a long-term 
monogamous relationship and has recently become single. 
Middle-aged people (40-55) are perfect for a threesome 
with a younger couple, they are usually still sexually 
healthy, and they haven't been playing around during 
the AIDS ridden era and are usually lonely and very 
grateful when a younger couple takes them into their 
bed.

I'm not suggesting that is the only way to go. I have 
had many three-ways with people my own age and even 
younger than me, it's just the easiest way to get 
started with a more willing and pliable third partner.

When broaching the subject with a potential candidate 
the best results will be achieved when the man brings 
the subject up with the male candidate and likewise the 
woman talks to the female candidate. The reasons for 
this are different but important.

If a man approaches a woman, the woman will think he's 
coming-on to her behind his partner's back. Even if the 
man discusses a threesome with his partner sitting 
beside him, the female candidate will most likely be 
too embarrassed to speak freely.

On the other hand if the female partner discusses the 
pleasures of a threesome to the female candidate, all 
the residual issues are instantly dissipated, no come-
on from the guy, no misperceived cheating, no 
male/female embarrassment.

Same for the man-to-man discussion. If the woman 
approaches the male candidate he will always feel in 
the back of his mind that she was the initiator, and 
will always think she's holding some special feeling 
for him, that she chose him over her mate. Men are just 
built that way.

The male candidate will always wonder about the male 
partner and may even try to break up the relationship 
and take the female away. You need to make it plain at 
the very instant that the topic comes to life that it 
was the man's idea, that he wants to share his woman.


BEFORE GETTING UNDRESSED:
-------------------------

As I mentioned before you do anything, you need a firm 
exit strategy. No matter how good that third person 
might be for both of you, no matter how exciting it is 
to share your lover with another and partake in the 
third person's sexuality, if you make them a full time 
partner, or a regular without thinking it through, you 
might find yourselves in relationship bottom-out.

My suggestion is to always treat each encounter as a 
one-time thing. No one expects to have sex with your 
partner and you on an ongoing basis and if you tell 
them that you just had the urge to bring the person 
into your bed, it easy enough to say that it's just a 
one-time thing.

I also suggest that unless you want a three-way 
relationship to become complicated, you should hold 
your encounters with the same third person to no more 
than three times. After all, you've invited the person 
into your union just for the sexual excitement. If you 
repeat it too many times with the same three people it 
could get just as routine as anything other sex.

There is an exception to this rule. If you're willing 
to share your partner with a special friend long-term, 
then you become what is known as a tri-sexual 
relationship. That of course entails a very special 
understanding between the participants that sex and 
responsibility is a three-way uninhibited arrangement. 

I know a few people who have successfully sustained a 
tri-sexual relationship for years, but ultimately this 
arrangement ends. The good part is that these people 
usually part as friends. What they usually seek out is 
a more normal couple relationship.


YOUR FIRST THREESOME:
---------------------

The first time is the most awkward. Getting naked in 
front of your partner and a stranger creates stresses 
that you might not have expected. For the male this 
could even cause performance problems.

The best way to get started in a new threesome is to 
just get naked as fast as possible in a darkened room 
(not too dark) and climb into bed with each other. I 
suggest lying side by side with the single gender in 
the middle and take a few minutes to define your 
parameters. If you are experienced swingers with a new 
inexperienced partner you should make that person 
understand that he or she is subject to both of your 
attention.

I suggest that the single gender in the threesome be 
the one to take the other two through their paces. If 
the woman is the single gender she needs to tell both 
men that it is their job to please her. She needs to 
make the men comfortable with the fact that they are 
naked and that their bodies and body parts are going to 
touch and be rubbed against by each other during this 
sexual encounter.

The same thing applies when there is one man and two 
women. It is his job to get his partners comfortable 
with acting out in front of him. They need to 
understand that he wants them to be comfortable with 
each other and not be hung-up about touching and 
feeling each other.

Note: Women seem to be more at easy with kissing and 
touching than men are. Please don't try to push men as 
fast as you might be able to women. Everyone must go at 
their own pace, just don't be too insistent otherwise 
the experience will be ruined.

Once there is a basic understanding and no one has 
gotten up in a huff and stalked off, I suggest getting 
to it. Start feeling each other. 


TWO MEN ONE WOMAN COMBINATION:
------------------------------

In the case of two men and one woman I suggest that to 
begin with both men concentrate of the woman, while one 
kisses her upper portions the other can concentrate on 
her lower extremities. This builds a camaraderie 
between the men.

When in a first time in this combination it is proper 
etiquette for the couple to let the new man have at the 
woman first. This should include penetration, although 
it doesn't need to be to completion. This sex act will 
go a long way to breaking the ice and dispelling the 
awkwardness of the first time together.

Many women don't want to have anal intercourse (Over 
70%) so once the fucking starts one guy either has to 
sit by and watch or he can join in. My favorite 
position when not plugged in is to have the woman on 
hands and knees with the other guy taking her from 
behind doggy style while I crawl underneath and play 
with her clit and his thrusting cock. Both partners get 
a real charge out of this and I can see everything and 
know just were to touch, pinch and lick etc.

OH YES, the sooner you get over the hang-up about 
touching the same gender partner the better your 
threesome sex will be. I personally like sex with women 
and have never had intercourse with another man, but in 
threesomes I've performed just about every other sex 
act with a man.

I can't really explain it, but women seem to really 
like watching men doing sexual things to each other. 
I've seen the most uptight women become slutty after 
they've lain there for a while watching two men sucking 
each other's cocks.

I'm not suggesting that any man needs to go that far. I 
certainly didn't until I'd been in at least fifteen 
threesomes or more. But after a while it just happens, 
and it is usually the woman that instigates it.

At the very least don't be squeamish about touching the 
other guy, it won't kill you to feel him balls, or to 
masturbate him and while he's having sex with the 
female partner in your three-way you could enhance his 
experience in may imaginative ways and he can return 
the favor.


TWO WOMEN AND ONE MAN COMBINATION:
----------------------------------

I will admit that this is my favorite combination. It's 
the charge of having sex with a strange woman for the 
first time and showing off to my mate. I don't think 
that I will ever tire of that experience and besides I 
really like the double ride.

Again when starting out for the first time, the man 
should be the guide and in the middle. I suggest that 
he tell his partners that they should concentrate on 
him first. In this combination the female partner in 
the couple should do her man first. This lets the other 
woman watch and join in when she feels comfortable.

I suggest that doggy style is the best position 
especially the first time because both women can easily 
get involved. The most intense position for any man in 
a three-way with two women is when he's plowing the new 
girl with his mate kneeling behind him massaging his 
nuts. I can't tell you how good that feels. A little 
ball sucking will slow your man down to a stand still, 
usually buried deep into his new lover.

I suggest to the experienced male to switch partners as 
often as possible. Young men should have little trouble 
taking care of two women. After my first one or two 
cums I usually can stay hard for the rest of the action 
without cumming again. (Unless someone gets really 
inventive.) I like this state because after I've cum 
once or twice it's the body contact that I enjoy and 
the challenge of making my partners orgasm multiple 
times, which is quite an accomplishment.


BEING INTUITIVE IS SO IMPORTANT:
--------------------------------

In a threesome feelings can be hurt when two of the 
three concentrate on each other leaving the third 
person out. You always have to be aware of this 
possibility and try not to let it happen. It is human 
nature to pair up but you have to resist this urge or 
there will be trouble.

If your partners are into each other for a while and 
you are left watching. Enjoy the experience. It's not 
everyone that gets to see hot sexual action taking 
place right beside you while your naked and aroused. 
Give your partners the benefit of the doubt, and hey, 
why not join in with a caress or two.

Finally, on the topic of Intuitiveness. Be aware if 
that third person is becoming too attached to you or 
your partner. It happens, it's human nature to pair up 
and that's when it's time to gently break the bond. If 
you leave it till it's too late the hurt feelings and 
accusations can ruin a good friendship.


BE INVENTIVE:
-------------

Here are some things that I've done in three-ways that 
might inspire you:

WESSON OIL: Have you and your partner ever had a Wesson 
night? Pure corn oil poured onto a vinyl sheet covering 
an old mattress in the guest bedroom. Or if you have a 
big enough one, your bathtub. There's nothing quite as 
erotic as slithering around in oil with two other 
people. Guys, you never need to worry about your sex 
partner being dry. (Just keep it clean, you're partner 
doesn't need a yeast infection from foreign bacteria.)

BEING A KID AGAIN: How about visiting old haunts? When 
I got out of the military I went home where I grew up 
and it was great fun having three-way sex in places 
that I used to play as a kid. One such place was the 
reservoir above town, which was THE make out place when 
I was in high school.

The difference now was that I was having sex with two 
women out in the open in the sun. I even caught a 
couple peeking at us once. When I say caught, I really 
mean that I knew they were there and I really put on a 
show for them. That was fun.

DIRTY DANCING: I've had surreptitious three-ways in 
nightclubs where we have done it on a crowded dance 
floor, and there have been times when all three of us 
visited the restroom in a fancy hotel.

VACATION SEX: I especially like threesomes when on 
vacation. That always adds experiences that stay with 
you long after the vacation is over.

MAN O MAN SEX: As I've said before, I don't have a 
problem putting on a show with another guy for our 
female partner. I really don't know why women like 
seeing to guys playing with each other but many do. And 
I've learned to enjoy being jacked off by another guy 
while our pretty female watches us. I really like it 
when she tries to direct the action. (I find that I do 
that to her when it's my turn to watch her and her 
female friends.)

BEING PREGNANT: I love variations. I've made it with my 
partner and a very pregnant woman and found that very 
satisfying. She was a single woman and hadn't had sex 
for almost six months. She was a wild ride, and my 
female companion really liked her too.

RACIAL FUN: Interracial sex is cool. I'm into any race 
and enjoy watching the color and texture combinations 
between different people. I once had a threesome with 
an exchange student from Nigeria and another exchange 
student from Norway. It was amazing to see his black 
flesh sink into her. Her completion was almost as white 
as you could get and the contrast really turned me on. 
He turned out to be a great cocksucker too which I 
though a real added bonus.

It is very enjoyable to try out different races. The 
variety is endless and the fun is in the individual 
differences. Also for newly arrived emigrants you have 
the added pleasure of learning new and wonderful 
techniques to share with future partners.


THREESOME PHILOSOPHY: 
---------------------

Always start out slow and build up the intensity, pace 
yourselves. Always be sensitive to both of your 
partner's needs and hang-ups and never force anything. 
If you care about the people you're with, they'll care 
about you too and the sex will be outstanding.

If you're not a people person, no matter how much you 
want to experience a threesome, you won't be 
successful. You have to be understanding and forgiving 
in your relationships. You also must be able to give as 
well as take. There's no way around it, not if you want 
to be satisfied and content with your choice.

----------------------------------------------------

About the author:

I'm 34 years old and have been sexually active since I 
was 15 and in high school. At the age of 19 I had my 
first threesome and in the past 15 years since, I would 
estimate that I've been in more than 50 three-ways with 
different couplings.

Today I'm with the love of my life and am less willing 
to share her than I would have been in the past. 
Although we have been in a few threesomes together and 
will most certainly be in some in the future, at the 
moment we are trying to get pregnant and we both want 
to make sure the baby is mine, so we're on hiatus.

Enjoy each experience. Take the time to savor the 
moment, and above all practice sensible sex. As Kristen 
was constantly saying when she was around: "You only 
have one body in life, so take good care of it."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this, and all erotic materials out of the 
hands of children. They should be outside playing in 
the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 22


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