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From: phoenlxarlzona@aol.com (Phoebe and Michael)
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Subject: {ASSM} {FAQ} Phoebe's Oral Sex Guide: The Pleasure of Fellatio
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 2002 08:10:02 -0500
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Phoebe's Oral Sex Guide: The Pleasure of Fellatio
==================================================

Men like a woman to play with their penis. To them it is 
their most important appendage and needs lots of 
attention by their lover. If you've never just taken the 
time to look at the male member, I suggest asking your 
man to get naked and lay on the bed while you inspect 
it. Feel free to ask him questions about it.

I've never met a man who doesn't like to show himself 
off, and when you do it for the first time, this type of 
foreplay can lead to very satisfying sex for both of 
you.

It is my opinion that most women don't have a clue what 
makes a man tick sexually. I've learned over the years 
that we women take it for granted that whenever we lie 
on our backs and offer ourselves to our men that they 
will do what comes naturally. This is true, but even the 
hottest sex life can become humdrum with repetition. 

I believe the reason for so many divorces these days is 
simply that couples are lazy about their sex lives. Good 
oral sex can keep a man satisfied and faithful to you 
even when the wrinkles start to come and intercourse 
isn't what it used to be. 

Oral sex should be even better than intercourse; it 
should be so intense that your man ends up whimpering 
for mercy, and he ends up curling up into the fetal 
position. I know that I can do that to a man, and if I 
can so can you.

There are three important rules that any woman who wants 
to really please her man in bed should adhere to. 


Rule 1. Worship his penis
=========================

Get to know his penis. As I mentioned before, every man 
likes to have his penis played with. If you haven't been 
interested in playing with his penis in the past, get 
that way now. When you're both naked try spending time 
playing with it. Just tell him that you want to play 
with it for a while, he won't stop you. 

Make him hard by slowly jacking him with your hand. 
Never squeeze too hard, but always hold him firmly and 
move the skin of his penis against the substructure of 
his shaft. There's a good reason why men like to 
masturbate, it's because it feels good. You can make him 
feel good too. Ask him what he likes.

A woman who can jack her man off to orgasm will be his 
best lover ever. Play with it, feel it, kiss it, jack 
it, talk to it. Press it to your breasts; rub it against 
your face and lips. Tell him how beautiful it is, even 
suck on it. It's easy to be considered a fantastic lover 
when you worship your man's penis. You'll also have 
great sex afterwards.

When you worship him, you have to really mean it. Faking 
will be obvious. If you don't like your man enough to 
worship his penis, then you're with the wrong man.


Rule 2. Don't automatically expect anything in return
=====================================================

Many lovers are just plain selfish. Both men and woman. 
The old clich -š is "Slam Bam, Thank You Maam." Implying 
that the man is the selfish one. It has been my 
experience that there is enough selfishness in sexual 
relationships to go around.

I firmly believe that selfishness has nothing to do with 
gender. A selfish lover is someone who was brought up 
poorly by his or her parents and they are usually self-
centered selfish people in most things they do. Selfish 
lovers usually are miserly friends, or shallow thinkers; 
it's a society-thing not a gender-thing.

If you approach your lover with the thought of, "I only 
want to please you," and mean it, you'll be surprised 
how much he will respond in kind. The best sex I've ever 
had was when both of us were intent on pleasing the 
other.


Rule 3. Don't Be Overly Squeamish 
=================================

Don't expect anyone to be sexually attracted to you if 
you stink. I am not talking about fresh natural 
lubricants when I mention stink. If you want to be a 
good oral lover you have to accept the natural 
excretions that a man exudes. 

I've performed oral sex on a man right after he's 
emptied himself in my pussy, and no I didn't have a 
moist towel to clean him up first. There is nothing more 
erotic to a man than to see his lover take his used 
penis into her mouth and give him another erection when 
only moments before he thought it was all over. (After 
all, no matter how messy his penis has become, it's only 
the natural excretions from sex, yours and his. Feel 
free to wipe the froth off with your hand, but don't get 
too fastidious or you'll blow the mood.)

If you can't take natural body tastes and odors then 
give up being a good cocksucker right now. Everything a 
man excretes is harmless, and besides if you love him 
you'll learn to love his natural odors and lubricants.

My suggestion is to try it in little increments. As an 
example, when you're "inspecting" your man's equipment, 
squeeze out some of that nice clear pre-cum of his, so a 
big drop stands out from his pee-hole. Lap it off with 
your tongue. If you make a show of it for him, he'll 
love you for it, and you'll see that it doesn't taste 
bad all at the same time.

*

Okay, enough for rules. The rest of my remarks will be 
confined to technique, mixed with some philosophy about 
men and what they like.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist for give good head. 
But over time you'll learn a few things that make it 
better and better. In time, when you tell him he'll be 
getting some head; he will be on his best behavior 
because he will be eager for the promised pleasure.

*

After getting to know and love your man's penis (A 
must). The next step is to try it out. It is good to 
know and REMEMBER these simple things:


ABOUT YOUR TEETH: 
=================

Always remember your teeth. Even the smallest scrape by 
a sharp bicuspids can end the whole thing. On the other 
hand, moist lips are the perfect friction that will 
drive him wild.

If you want to try the technique out in private and 
don't have a vegetable oil lubricated dildo, I suggest a 
large pickle. The advantage to this vegetable is that it 
most mimics the feel of a penis and is usually smaller 
than the real thing.

Just barely cover your teeth with your lips, forming 
your mouth into an "O" and try slipping the pickle in. 
(Hold the pickle stationary and "bob" your head.) See if 
you can feel your teeth touching the skin of the pickle, 
if you do, keep practicing until you're sure you have it 
down. Keep in mind that a male penis is more comfortable 
and much more pleasurable to suck on than a pickle.

NOTE: Speaking of sucking. That is a misnomer. A good 
blowjob is all about friction, not sucking. What you are 
trying to accomplish is to recreate the vagina with your 
mouth. Sucking is just a term, such as "sleeping with" 
refers to making love, while "sucking cock" just means 
oral sex with a male. I'm not saying that you can't suck 
on your man's erect penis, which of course you should, 
all I'm saying is that if you want to get him off, it'll 
take a lot more than just suction to do the job.


THE GAG REFLEX:
===============

Almost anyone can learn to control their gag reflex, 
with the exception of those few people who have an over 
active gag reflex, which is probable less than 1/100th 
of a percent of the population. If you can swallow a 
pill using water, you can control your gag reflex.

First, you must discern where your throat is, in 
relation to your windpipe, they are two different 
things. Most things can go down your throat just fine, 
but only air will go into your windpipe without causing 
great anguish.

Unlike those porno stories where the woman learns how to 
control her gagging while a man is plowing away at her 
throat, the best way to learn is not with your partner.

I learned the technique at the early age of 18 by using 
my finger. I had a boyfriend that I wanted to please so 
it was important to me to learn how to do fellatio well. 

I would stick my finger in my mouth and tickle the back 
of my throat. If your finger isn't long enough I suggest 
using a dildo, or a wet piece of liquorish. (Just make 
sure that whatever you use, it is long enough to 
maintain a good grasp on with your fingers so it won't 
become lodges in your windpipe if misdirected.)

A secret that no one told me about is that if you learn 
how to swallow when he thrusts in, your gag reflex is 
greatly suppressed. I had to learn that for deep 
penetration before it finally became comfortable for me. 
A plus about that technique is that it feels real good 
to your man while it helps you perform better, a win, 
win situation.

You don't have to get the gag reflex completely 
conquered before trying out a real live penis. Just 
remember that if you throw up on your man it will take a 
little something away from your sex act.

I've never met a man who expected me to take them all 
the way in. Most men, even experienced ones have only 
received a little sucky-kissy, and that's all they 
expect. But let me tell you, when I get to work on them 
they never forget the experience, I've actually made 
some men cry. <smile>

When you find that with practice, you can control your 
gag reflex well enough to take your man at least to the 
back of your mouth, you will truly be on the way to 
giving a superior blowjob. 

At this stage there is something to remember for your 
own safety before trying the real thing. Always allow 
yourself a way to disengage. You cannot breathe with a 
big stiff cock jammed down your throat. It hasn't 
happened often, but there has been a party girl or two 
who have suffocated because of an over excited face 
fucking jerk who wouldn't stop when she started flailing 
her arms and legs in protest.

Just be sure that you are in control and can back off at 
will and everything will be fine. This is even more 
important when you're new to it. Your understanding man 
will help you here. He'll be so fascinated by the fact 
that you want to experiment with oral sex and are trying 
to do it right that he'll want to cooperate in any way 
he can.


THE DEEP THROAT:
================

I first learned the deep-throat technique with a 
favorite boyfriend. I read up on all the different ways 
to do it and decided to try it like this:

I lay on my bed and my boyfriend got several phone books 
and a towel to cushion his knees and elevated himself to 
the right height so that his erect penis was aligned 
with my mouth. Lying stomach down and bending my head 
back to face his crotch I let him slowly feed himself to 
me.

The advantage to this position for the beginner is that 
it lines up the man's erect penis with your throat. The 
head being pulled back almost straightens the throat 
into an open tunnel without having to bend the penis too 
much to fit.

The position can also be reversed so that the woman is 
laying on her back with her head hanging over the edge 
of the bed. What I don't like about this for the 
beginner is that if your partner is inexperienced (or a 
jerk) he might not stop when you signal him to. If he 
grabbed a couple of handfuls of hair he could ride your 
face with the potential of really making things 
uncomfortable for you.


BREATHING:
==========

Breathing while your man makes love to your mouth can be 
a challenge. It takes practice, but can be easily 
accomplished with concentration. Breathe when he has 
pulled back, and swallow when his thrusts in. It's easy 
to panic and lose it if you don't concentrate, but be 
assured that in time it will become almost second nature 
to you.

*

Just so you know, the ultimate goal for a good oral sex 
practitioner is to be able to allow your partner to use 
your mouth and throat just like he would your pussy, 
with just a little more consideration for the fact that 
you have to breathe through the same hole that he's 
making love to. Once you know what you're doing you'll 
be able to take him into your throat even in the 
"submissive" kneeling position.

Oral sex is more than just the insertion of the penis 
into the mouth; it's all about friction. Soft most 
friction, fast and slow friction, textured friction, 
tactile and visual stimulation too. In the next few 
paragraphs I will tell you about the secret weapon that 
you have at your disposal to make your man cum in your 
mouth every time you want him to.

*

YOUR TEETH:
===========

I told you earlier to be careful with your teeth. Now 
I'm going to tell you that teeth can be pleasurable to 
your man during oral sex. The FRONT of your teeth, not 
the biting edge. 

The contrast of the hard smooth porcelain of the front 
of your teeth, with the soft smooth giving texture of 
your lips and the hot moist slipperiness of your tongue 
combine to make oral sex something that can be mind 
blowing if used in the proper sequence.

The secret to get a man to shoot off is "variety". If 
you just kneel and bob, he'll most likely let you, but I 
doubt if he will have an orgasm. (Barring first times of 
course.)


YOUR TONGUE:
============

You should start off your oral sex using your tongue. 
Lick him -- swirl your tongue around and around the 
head, suck on the head with your moist lips, rub the 
underside of the head and shaft against the flat of your 
teeth, then sink down on him as far as your can.

The tongue is the secret weapon to any great oral sex. 
Most women can't swirl their tongue around their man's 
shaft while it is in their mouth. If you have a big 
mouth like mine it can be done. But if you don't, don't 
despair. You can get around this by licking him like a 
lollypop, and swirling it around his sensitive head. And 
the man gets the added "visual" stimulation so everyone 
wins.

Licking is something you should do whether or not you 
can swirl your tongue around his shaft with it embedded 
in your mouth. Licking and head kissing-sucking is 
important. It plays to the "cock-worship" stimulation; 
it has both the physical and visual aspects that make 
the difference between a humdrum blowjob and a great 
one.


MASTURBATION: 
=============

Masturbation is also an important part of oral sex, it 
heightens the friction and brings your man closer to 
orgasm faster. (You'd be surprised how many woman have 
never actually been able to get their men off with 
masturbation. That is usually because she doesn't know 
how and has never REALLY tried to do it right.)

The proper masturbation technique is important. Many 
women hold the penis too lightly or too tight. Feel the 
skin, it should move against the substructure of his 
shaft smoothly, almost like pudding. An uneven rhythm is 
best, don't try to compete with his own technique 
because you'll lose. He has the advantage of knowing how 
he feels and what turns him on. But you have a big 
advantage too, you turn him on just by being naked and 
worshiping his penis. Even he can't do that as well as 
you can.


SWALLOWING:
===========

In my opinion swallowing is important. A man's sperm is 
98% protein, and it's tasteless. It smells like bleach, 
and is slippery like clams, but it's pretty nice once 
you get used to it. You can make quite a scene 
swallowing it. My suggestion is to let him see that you 
swallowing. If you don't mind looking slutty, (And I 
don't) let some of his precious cum slide out between 
your lips and then suck it back in and swallow it. A 
brilliant smile at this moment will be appreciated. 

I read a book once that said if you didn't want to 
swallow, you could always spit it out on a towel. My 
feeling is that if you've been "sucking" your man's dick 
long enough to make him cum, why stop there? A man's cum 
is actually good for you, (High in Protein) and it can't 
hurt you and it is the final affirmation that you think 
he's hot.

With a new lover I suggest finding out were he stands 
sexually. If you've just given him the blowjob of his 
life and he's accepted your gift, see how he reacts 
next. Is he a giver or not?


CUM SWAPPING:
=============

When I get to know a man I finish off with a french-kiss 
to send all french-kisses. (Not suggested for a first 
time sexual union, unless he seems eager for it.) You 
might be surprised; about 25% of the men I've been with 
didn't mind tasting their own cum, and some of them 
enjoyed it immensely, starting our hot encounter over 
again. (And I enjoyed the cum swapping too.)


THE UNCIRCUMCISED PENIS: 
========================

I don't really care which a man has, cut or un-cur
they're both beautiful in their own way. But there are 
some different techniques that could be employed to 
enhance your uncircumcised companion.

The majority of men in the US are circumcised. This is 
due to the fact that most hospital birthing units 
recommend the practice. But lately some parents are 
starting to rethink the decision to have their male 
children circumcised.

The advantages of non-circumcision are that the man's 
organ will be more sensitive, more responsive to touch 
and he will receive a higher level of pleasure. The 
folds of skin that cover the relaxed penis head, shield 
it against much daily stimulation so when it peeks its 
head out from between the folds of flesh protecting it, 
it is super pre-conditioned for the pleasure 
experience.

Generally uncircumcised men will not last as long as 
circumcised men will during the first sexual encounter 
of the night. But my experience has been that they will 
ultimately have just as much stamina over the long run, 
and there's more to play with.

There are several things that you need to know about 
uncircumcised men that are pretty irrelevant with 
circumcised men. One is that masturbating an 
uncircumcised man is easier. You don't have to worry 
about skin burn because the foreskin is a great 
protector of the extended portion of the penis shaft.

I especially enjoy playing with the foreskin, and men 
with one like it when you lick it and pull gently at it 
with your lips or teeth. The foreskin is very 
sensitive, it's almost like an extension of the penis 
head, yes it can be that sensitive to a man.

Mother Nature knew what she was doing when she created 
the male sex organ, but  uncircumcised men should 
always be meticulous about cleanliness. Where a 
circumcised man can get away with being a little ripe, 
and uncircumcised man can't. There's nothing sexier 
than a clean uncircumcised penis, and nothing that is 
more of a turn off than a grubby one. Where the 
foreskin protects, it also collects old excretions.

Someone once asked me which type of penis I liked the 
best and my answer was, "One that can stay hard long 
enough to give me an orgasm!"


LOCKJAW OR JAW FATIGUE:
=======================

One reader asked me to talk about jaw fatigue during 
oral sex. Apparently his partner often experienced the 
problem and he wanted to know if there was an exercise 
to combat the problem.

I personally have never experienced any significant jaw 
fatigue giving oral sex. But I know after talking to 
friends and comparing notes that about half of the 
women I talked to have fatigue if they perform Fellatio 
for more that 5-minutes continuously. 

After some research I've found that there are two 
conditions to be aware of.
The first one is just plain fatigue. This is something 
that you can easily correct. If you've tired your jaw 
out from having to open-wide, then you've been doing 
the same thing too long. Size might have something to 
do with it, but even if your man has a jumbo penis 
there are many different things you do than just suck, 
you can rotate through your bag of tricks and give your 
jaw a rest.

As I outlined earlier, if you plan on just sucking your 
man's penis, he won't stop you, but it usually isn't 
enough stimulation to get him off. You need to combine 
you mouthwork with handwork, and girls don't forget 
those tits. Mother Nature gave us some great tools, and 
I don't know a man who would object while you took a 
break from sucking and rubbed his manly shaft against 
your nipples, or did some kissing while slowly jacking 
him off.

As I've tried to make plain, there is much more to a 
great blowjob than just the mouth. So if you are so 
fatigued that you can't bring things to completion, 
then I suggest that you reread my little guide and try 
some variety.

The second problem is TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint), 
which is the other prevalent problem at least in 
America. It is a syndrome that is becoming epidemic in 
our society. It is basically a miss alignment of the 
jaw and can cause great discomfort not even talking 
about oral sex. Apparently it causes headaches and 
sleep disorders.

If you suffer from this problem you'll need to see your 
dentist because I have no fix for it. But again, I can 
suggest that offering variety, fingers, tongue, lips, 
breasts, eyelids , toes and any other part of your body 
as a stimulant will even out the strain on your jaw and 
your man will gain more pleasure than just a plainjane 
blowjob that leads nowhere.

***

That's it for now. I've armed you with all the knowledge
that you'll need to be the best little cock sucker he'll 
probably ever know. The key is your imagination, if 
you've got it, you'll succeed swimmingly, if you don't, 
well, I'm sorry, just do the best you can.

I will tell one more secret though, and it is the most 
important thing to know of all. 

Although good oral sex is about friction, variety and 
good mouth work, it amounts to only half of what's 
needed to make a man blow his load. The other half (and 
believe me when I say this) is visual stimulation.

Act sexy, but not gross; my rule of thumb is, "Just 
because you can, doesn't mean you should." Never a truer 
statement was made. Make sure you know your partner 
before becoming too experimental. But once you do know 
him, pull out all the stops to please him.

Let him "see" you sucking on him, let him "see" you 
worshiping his penis; let him "see" you enjoying his 
equipment. Make sure that he knows with certainty that 
you love him and his equipment. Submit to his wonderful 
instrument, caress it, make love to it, you will be 
rewarded a million times over by a most grateful lover.

I can't emphasize this enough, visual stimulation is as 
important at the sex act itself. You'll know when you've 
got it right -- when you feel a throb and then a hot 
gush of jism between your lips. You'll know that you've 
got it right when you and your man are still together 
after all of your friends have broken up and moved on.

One final note: All of the above presupposes that you're 
with a worthy man, a man that is worthy of your talents. 
If he's not, no matter how great you are in bed, you're 
headed nowhere. You'd be better off with the single girl 
next door than the handsomest man in the world if he's a 
jerk. But then, you have to determine that, all I can 
tell you for sure is that there are some "real men" out 
there, ones that you could grow old with if you don't 
neglect them.

In the future, look for... 

Phoebe's Oral Sex Guide: The Pleasure of Cunnilingus

Coming soon to a web page near you...

***

Author's credentials:

I may not be a great writer, but sex is something very 
special to me and I'm very good at it.

I turned 35 in June 2002 and although I am now with my 
mate for life, prior to meeting and falling in love with 
my husband I had a varied sex life. My first full-blown 
sexual relationship was at the age of 18, and during the 
next 15 years before meeting the love of my life I 
experimented with 67 different men. (Yes I counted 
them.)

I enjoyed just about every encounter I had, some more 
than others. But out of those many sexual encounters I 
learned how to be the perfect sex-partner and I'm very 
proud of this accomplishment. It is just as important to 
me as my expertise with the piano and the fact that I 
received my private pilot's license last spring. I feel 
that anything one does, one should do well, and I have 
brought that attitude into bed with me. You should too!

Although I haven't kept exact records, I believe that I 
have performed fellatio over 400 times and in the past 
17 years I never left a man intact if my aim was to make 
him cum. I believe that at 35 I have made love to a man 
over 6000 times. If you like statistics that would break 
down to 1.5 times a day for the past 19 years. 
(Obviously I didn't have sex everyday, but when I had 
access, I had it often, which is what I suggest to 
succeeding generations.)

My philosophy is to enjoy sex early and often, but above 
all, be good at it. And be safe.

***

Phoebe - phoenlxarlzona@aol.com


Our website is at www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kristen/www/phoenix/

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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