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Message-ID: <38123asstr$1031083802@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: mmtwassel@aol.com (mat twassel)
Subject: {ASSM} Mat Twassel: Ellen's Slutty Sister (MPBYBVBBB and B)
Date: Tue,  3 Sep 2002 16:10:02 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Alleviating the Bandwidth Problem  
by Mat Twassel 
========================= 
 
It has come to my attention that ASSM is in danger. 
Bandwidth is being consumed at an alarming rate. If the 
trend continues, we will run out of bandwidth long before 
the year 2000. If something doesn't change, sex stories will 
be little more than a memory, a gleam in Benny Goodman's 
eye. Our children, and our children's children might 
actually need to mate in order to know the deep joys of 
sexual expression. What can we do about it?  
 
Here are my suggestions:  
 
Readers--learn to read faster. Sign up for an Evelyn Woods 
seminar. Combine speed with acumen by studying old Reader's 
Digest articles on increasing your word power. Nothing costs 
bandwidth like having to stop midstream to look up coitus 
and lanuginous and lascivious in the dictionary. In short, 
prepare yourself to get on and get off.  
 
Writers--stop using big words. Write fuck and downy and 
horny instead. But don't stop there. Get to the crux of your 
story quicker. An in-depth study of sex-stories conducted by 
an independent sexology research team measured orgasm 
trigger-efficiencies. Of all sex story sentences, according 
to the study, a woman uttering the phrase, "Oh God, I'm 
gonna come, oh, oh, I'm coming, ooooooh!" most rapidly 
brings about the male reader's climax. Meanwhile, female 
readers come most quickly when they read, "Suck it, bitch, 
suck it slow and deep."  
 
The following sex story should serve as the model:  
 
 
------------------------------------------------------------

Ellen's Slutty Sister--by Mat Twassel  
 
"Suck it, bitch," he said, "Suck it deep and slow."  
 
"Oh God," she said, "I'm gonna come. Oh, oh, I'm coming, 
oooooh!"  
 
-End-  
 
 
------------------------------------------------------------

Instead of padding the sex story with useless and tedious 
descriptions, writers should enhance their work and make it 
easier on the reader by applying appropriate story codes. 
Here's the key:  
 
Male's cock size: (H uge or M onstrous) 
Female tit size: (P erky or B ig or H umongous) 
Female hair color: (R ed or B lond) 
Female age: (Y oung or Y ounger or Y oungest) 
Female clit size: (P erky or B ig or H umongous) 
Female experience (V irgin or S lut) 
Pussy: (B are or B ushy) 
Story location: (B ed or B reakfast table or B athroom or 
neighbor's B ackyard) 
Daddy's brand of scotch: ( )  
 
Thus "Ellen's Slutty Sister" could be marked: MPBYBVBBB&B 
and the readers really have a jump start towards bliss and 
satisfaction.  
 
--Mat Twassel  

Mat's Erotic Calendar at http://calendar.atEros.com

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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