index


Message-ID: <37909asstr$1029629403@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #17
Date: Sat, 17 Aug 2002 20:10:03 -0400
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

We'd like to take a moment and say a few words about the festival
website. We found it well organized, easy to navigate, and pleasing to
look at. There are links to the stories, links to author pages, and
story codes for most of the stories. Finding the festival page through
ASSTR was more frustrating. It was easier to get the link from a post
on ASSD.

***

Peaches & Cream Reviews: #17

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what
people think you've got.
--Sophia Loren (b. 1934), Italian actor.

Stories to be reviewed:

Hanna, Love Discovered/Love Fulfilled by The Star
End Game by H. Jekyll
High School Camping trip to the forest of lost virginity By ? the
platypus
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hanna, Love Discovered/Love Fulfilled by The Star
(M/F, rom, teen, 1st, viol)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36936

***

Cream:

Hanna, Love Discovered/Love Fulfilled, is a really long story, almost
15,000 words, nearly 30 pages, but I think most readers will discover
within the first page or so whether it's the story for them.  Both
chapters of this romance are capably narrated by Gary Rogers, the hero
of the tale. The heroine is the paradigm girl next door, Hanna, a year
or so younger than Gary.  Gary and Hanna were best pals all through
growing up, but sure enough sex causes an interesting twist to their
relationship. Meant to be lovers, instead they remain buddies, and in
high school Hanna starts dating an obnoxious basketball player, nearly
gets raped, and tragic consequences result.  But I never had much
doubt our couple would triumph: a nimbus of grace and goodness and
near perfection surrounds them. Plus they both have unbelievably
understanding parents.

All in all I enjoyed this story.  It is romantic. It's fun.  Okay,
maybe Hanna and Gary are too good to be true, maybe some events are a
little silly or a little incredible or a little too pat, but it's just
so likeable. If there's a downside to the story, it's that there is no
real sustained tension. The storytelling is smooth, but too much is
related from a distance.  Those sections are easy to read, not dull at
all, but I'd have liked to see more of our couple together up close
and personal, as they say. There are such passages, but I wanted more
of them. Show us some flaws, some rough edges, and I think I'd like
this even more. 

Three point four kisses.

***

Peaches:

Hanna and Gary are too good to be true. All normal rules are broken.
Parents agree almost eagerly to let the two, still in High School,
sleep over at one another's house. Are you using birth control
daughter? Yes, dad. Alrighty then! Hannah beats the basketball player
up for his attempt to rape her, and the police track her down, because
they heard she was assaulted. She says, I think he's learned his
lesson. I won't press charges. Gary saves the school from the scorned
basketball player who's firing off guns in the cafeteria. The
paramedics let Gary help with the medical procedures. They let him
ride in the car with them, he's earned it, I suppose. But by this
point, I'm beginning to believe that Gary has a big S on his
lycra-covered chest.

The thing is, these two good kids love one another. And their story is
romantic in a 1950's sitcom sort of way. It's exactly as you say,
Cream. There is no tension. There is drama, but the couple handles
every situation with superhero aplomb. 

The writing is good, and the story has great potential. Unfortunately,
the way the drama is handled, and because of the length of the story,
it begins to get comical. I doubt very seriously if that is the intent
of the author.

2.5 kisses

***

Cream:

Yes, there are strong sitcom and comic book and soap opera aspects to
this.  I agree, Peaches, that probably the author didn't intend it to
seem quite so silly, but don't let the silliness get in the way of
enjoying the story for what it is--a dreamy romance: the kind of
fantasy a somewhat sensitive high school kid might have.  Be the
sports hero. Get the beautiful girl. Stop the bad guys. Become the
model citizen. Live happily ever after. Kind of refreshing.

***

Peaches: 2.5 kisses
Cream: 3.4 kisses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
End Game by H. Jekyll
(MF, rom, cheat, oral, mast)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36895

***

Peaches:

 From the words of the author: "It's a sad, tragic little tale,
populated with people I care for, who hurt and, in one case, die. This
isn't giving away anything. You'll read it in the first line. It
explores self, and need, and selflessness."

The cheat code makes me dislike codes. It seems unsavory. Sure, there
is cheating, but in the case of this story, it's the couple who are
cheated. 

A man falls in love with a woman who has breast cancer. She and her
husband no longer have sex. She's dying. She wants to feel alive. She
wants sex. She wants to feel attractive, even though by many
standards, she is not. They don't seek each other out in a tawdry way,
it just happens. Or rather, as the narrator points out, a slow
transformation that he's aware of but chooses to allow.

This is a long story, but I never realized it. It read easily,
grippingly even. There's only one place my mind drifted. 

>We were almost caught only once, and it was so silly that it seemed afterward to be 
>almost something from the Three Stooges.

We never get to know the details of nearly getting caught. I wanted to
know. I expected it to be in the next paragraph, but the story moved
on. Seventeen pages later, I couldn't believe I was at the end.

This story is poignant and very romantic. It may really affect those
who have suffered through the loss of an intimate loved one. But do
yourself a favor, grab a box of tissues and sit down to read this
story. It's one of the best.

5 kisses

***

Cream:

I agree: an excellent story.  I had the same thoughts as you about the
time they almost got caught; I wanted to know more.  Maybe I wanted to
know a little bit more about the guy's life outside of this
relationship, although I understand how beside the point that was.
But these aren't really complaints. Everything about this story came
alive--the people, the situation, the sex, the love, the loss.
Everything.  I guess I'm a little puzzled by the title.  Normally end
game refers to chess.  It's hard for me to understand anything about
this story in terms of a game of chess.  Maybe the title is meant to
be ironic.

5 kisses

***

Peaches:

I hadn't really noticed the title. Maybe it means playing at the end?

This may be my favorite romantic story so far. Especially if you think
about romance as giving. Giving when you don't think you have anything
to give, giving when you don't want to give, but still giving. It's
just a beautifully written story.

***

Peaches: 5 kisses
Cream: 5 kisses
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
High School Camping trip to the forest of lost virginity By ? the
platypus
(First rom caution)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36951

***

Cream:


As part of some kind of plot, Barry and Joe are assigned the same
tent. There is some confusion, some misunderstanding, but then it gets
straightened out and in the end Barry and Joe fuck.  There is a sort
of innocence to these characters that is not only appealing in its own
right but it also serves to make the sex a little hotter.

On the other hand I had some real problems keeping the characters
straight in a few important places, and this story need a heap of
proof-reading.  I also suspect there is a lot of nifty cleverness here
that I'm missing.

My favorite part is the title.  I also like the Alice in Wonderland
tea party sort of mood the author somehow manages.

Two kisses.

***

Peaches:

This story has a certain, gee-whiz enthusiasm. It's apparently part of
a larger work. There is some manipulation going on from some higher
being that isn't explained in this, and frankly, it doesn't need to
be. So we join Barry and Joe in a tent. Barry discovers some hidden
things about Joe, the girl he loves. The moral of the story is never
make fun of another person's sexual proclivity or you may find
yourself liking it too much.

The author states at the end of the story that he suffers from
agraphia and please excuse his spelling. There are spelling errors but
none that aren't easily decipherable. 

The caution code is necessary. I agree with you, Cream, it's a nice
title! 

2 kisses

***

Cream:

What's interesting about this story is how disembodied the characters
are.  Except for the sex there is almost nothing but dialogue.  So
it's a little like hearing a tape recording of a conversation and then
suddenly seeing the characters having sex.  Only we don't see them as
clearly as we might--a lot of the sex is also rendered through
dialogue:


>"You wish me to fuck you?" 

>"Please now; fuck me, fill me, enter my body, I want you inside me now!"

>Joe eased forward entering, pressing into his tight sphincter. Thrusting hirself into his >body.   

>"Try and relax little your two tight."   

>"Relaxed with that massive thing up my... Whoooh I'm getting fucked."

There's a kind of good-naturedness to the sex, all the same I can't
help feeling these are just ideas of characters--not real people.  For
me to take them into my heart, they need some flesh beyond sex flesh.

***

Peaches: 2 kisses
Cream: 2 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html>  Moderator: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}|
|Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org>      |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+