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Message-ID: <37841asstr$1029197404@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Peaches and Cream  <peachescreamreviews@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews #12
Date: Mon, 12 Aug 2002 20:10:04 -0400
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Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like
reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance
Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing
the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us
starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes
it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5
kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per
issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find
all the stories we will review. 

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest

Peaches & Cream Reviews #12

Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and
never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our
masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles.
--Beverly Jones (b. 1927), U.S. feminist writer

***

Stories to be Reviewed:

Junk Bonds by Selena Jardine
Obsession by Desdmona
Sunspots by celia batau


***

Junk Bonds by Selena Jardine
(MF rom)
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36955

Peaches:

I think this very short Flash (298 words) does a fantastic job of
showing us human nature without saying it. A woman has an affair and
believes her husband cannot forgive her. When trust is broken in a
relationship, the one who has broken the trust is more often than not
the one who has the most trouble trusting again. Maybe it's nature's
way of making us remember our actions and what they cost. The
description of the junk drawer may have been my favorite part.

I give this story 4.8 kisses

***

Cream:

What I find especially amazing is the perfect use of symbols. The junk
drawer enumeration barely scratches the surface:

>He guides her back into the kitchen and shows 
>her the contents of the drawer.  Partly-used birthday 
>candles. Batteries at least ten years old.  Hair 
>elastics for daughters who left the house eight years 
>ago.  Doll's shoes, scotch tape, the forgotten little 
>wheels off things.

My feeling at the story's end, for better or for worse, is that this
marriage may continue, but like most junk bonds it will never be
redeemed.  Oh, my favorite part was the wedding ring worn on a string
around his neck clunking her forehead when they fucked. 4.8 kisses. If
the story had made me "sigh" at the end, I might have given it 5.

***

Peaches:

Redeemable junk bonds! I didn't get the connection. Thanks for hitting
me over the head with that one. You're absolutely right! The story is
filled with perfect symbols--his wedding ring standing for her vows,
the exact opposite views of what the junk in the drawer means, and
others that I probably shouldn't mention. It's a well thought out
story, wrought with great symbolism. A must read! I have to amend my
score. 5 kisses!

***

Peaches: 5 kisses
Cream: 4.8 kisses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Obsession by Desdmona
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36966

Cream:

A man eats his linguine and watches the sunset through the restaurant
window. As the man dines he takes in the sensuous details of his
surroundings.  We take in the sensuous details of the story:

>Linguine and shrimp. A well-placed napkin. Her 
>daring hand. A pedaled zipper. "Can you eat while 
>I play?" she purred, her tongue slithering across 
>her bottom lip, paving the way for a throaty moan. 
>Her pupils dilated as her slim fingers probed to 
>the meat of him. She leaned in to whisper, "Can 
>you, darling?"
   
We learn that the man has failed his lover's tests in the past.  Those
failures are some of my favorite parts of a story brimming with
favorite parts:

>.. lying nude on blacktop in the heat of the 
>day, convincing a third to join their party of 
>two, or nibbling the nipple of her bared suntan 
>breast in line at the deli. Always in a crowd. 
>Always in the open. 
   
These failures are to the reader as sensuous as any success.  So, is
the man going to fail again? How can we measure success?  This is a
poignant and completely successful story of a man caught in a
collision of romantic obsessions.  I measure it 4.8 kisses.  It's not 
that I've deducted two tenths of a kiss. Always good to leave a little
something on the plate.

***

Peaches:

There are details in this story that really paint a setting: purple
sunsets, white-hot beach of the panhandle, ocean breeze, and hibiscus.
I could almost smell the air. It's difficult to bring in so much
detail (combined with the sensuous details you've already mentioned,
Cream) in a Flash story, and still have a complete story. I think this
story succeeds. 

I think the ending where he finally is able to pass her test
(masturbate under the hidden napkin, but finish his meal before
coming) is sad. She's already gone and he's still trying.

I give it 4 kisses.

***

Cream:

It is sad, but maybe this act will take him over the hurdle and he'll
be able to move on. One can hope so.

***

Peaches: 4 kisses
Cream: 4.8 kisses
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunspots by celia batau
(FF rom)

Peaches:

This is a very short, lyrical story that has two women under a
blanket, in summer grass, with a "hot, yellow sun" above them. The
women join in orgasm. It's beautifully done.

I especially like how this phrase,  "Alma blinked as Carla pulled the
blanket over them, making a universe of two" sets up the last line.

There are many phrases in such a short story that can really make me
"sigh" For instance, "...a thousand intimate gestures wrapped up in a
hundred whispered words." 

Are you sighing yet, Cream? I give this story 4.8 kisses. I had a
little confusion with the names and the action of each or it would
have been 5. 

Cream:

This story didn't do much for me the first time I read it, and after
reading your review, my first thought was that of all the stories
we've reviewed so far, here would be our greatest difference in
kisses.  But knowing how good a reader you are, Peaches, I thought I'd
better give "Sunspots" another chance, just to make sure.  This time I
read it as if it were a poem, and that has made all the difference.  

Even the shape of "sunspots" is poetic: round and fuzzy, like a fat
ball of sun, or like bodies balled together under a blanket. Lots of
"ing" words mimic the in-place motion, lots of strong verbs to get
them there: intertwined, pressed, pulled, touched, slid, tugged,
infused.  Then there's "blinked," an important verb for the way it
illuminates the inner nature of this connection: how quickly it
occurs, how it isn't quite what Alma may have expected, but it's
clearly what she desires: to be under the blanket with Carla.  Then
there's the passage you like: a thousand intimate gestures wrapped up
in a hundred whispered words: We don't see each sunbeam in this
sunshine anymore than we see each shiver in the lovers' embrace but we
get the proper feel of all of them. We sense what being under the
blanket is like.  Furthermore, I think the little confusion over the
names and action is apt, it's in a way at the heart of what's going on
here. The finish of the poem--yes, I'm calling it a poem--is
interesting for the way language turns people into pure chemistry and
physics and mathematics and yet lets us see that this fusion is not
only about bodies but about the passion of souls and the coming
together of beings. 

I guess my reaction shows how much can change in a moment or in a
second reading. No doubt if I'd read some of the other stories again
I'd see them in a different light and appreciate them more.  I'm glad
you made me give sunspots a second chance, Peaches.  Four kisses for
it and five for you!  (And I'm sure I've underrated you both!)

Peaches:

You did some major analyzing, Cream. Some very good analyzing. I
hadn't looked at this story in quite the same way. You've brought new
light to it, too. One of the things that I enjoyed is the pacing and
the flow of words, one sentence into the next, like a slow build up to
the sun. The sun not only the hot ball above them, but also the symbol
of energy, of orgasm in them.

A poem? Probably. Definitely poetic!

***

Peaches: 4.8 kisses
Cream: 4.0 kisses

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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