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Message-ID: <37810asstr$1029013806@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Annex Reviews, 8/10/02
Date: Sat, 10 Aug 2002 17:10:06 -0400
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The Annex Reviews, 8/10/02
by Lady Cyrrh (ladycyrrh AT (substitute @) aol.com)
Website: http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh 




The stories:

XXPulp: Earth vs. Tyranno-X (AFresh Sto): M/F+, SF spoof 
Laraloubaye (Seyazou-Nubille): M/F cons, SF, inter
Anatomy of an Orgasm (Pami): M/F, cons
Appreciation (Dr. Seuss style) (Souvie), spoof
The Jacklettes (RavingRendal) F/F D/s, bond, toys

Website Review: Dirty Dreams Designers





XXPulp: Earth vs. Tyranno-X [A-/B+]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/14/02
Author: Fresh Sto
Author address: PilloryHillary@aol.com
Type: M/F, SF parody

This slick story was also a parody, spoofing a 1950s boys' gee-wow action-
adventure pulp. A giant reptilian creature has invaded NYC, causing 
havoc at a business school before eating several female students. One 
escapes, to later fall victim herself:

__________________________________________________________________

[No] one noticed the naked girl running in the street, hair waving and 
pert breasts nodding with each stride. They saw only the rampaging 
brute, its jaws snapping like rifle-fire, the talons of its feet scoring the 
pavement with each mighty step, leaning, reaching lower, and 
snatching the young woman in its claws. It carried her into the air, until 
her screams and then her kicking legs disappeared inside its maw.

____________________________________________________________

The gal is the girlfriend of Johnny Horizon, who is a... well, it wasn't 
said, but resident boy genius paleontology expert would be the best 
description. Johnny hops on a bulldozer and attempts to subdue the 
creature, only to be eaten himself. Once inside he discovers it's really a 
giant robot holding captive the townspeople it's "eaten" so it can leach 
off their vital bodily nutrients. The imprisoned girls give him an 
impassioned thank-you orgy, which inspires him to shimmy on up to the 
control room where he roundhouses the evil professor who's controlling 
it and stops the robot in the nick of time.

This piece had some very clever writing in it (especially that intro, 
where the girl's clothing is ripped off piece by piece by opportune 
bushes and fences as the monster pursues her) and on the whole I 
enjoyed the read. But, it didn't add up to very much. It seemed rushed, 
like the author had cut out a lot of detail in the final edit. There were 
also 
other editing mistakes. In the excerpt above, for example, the writer 
states no one notices the fleeing girl, only the monster eating the girl... 
which is the same as noticing the girl. Of course, they might not have 
noticed the girl until she is being eaten, but in that case, they wouldn't 
have noticed it snatching her up off the ground, either.

There were other problems of physical size. The hero says with authority 
the monster is a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but it's obviously much larger than 
that... not twice or three times as large, but Godzilla-size, going by how 
it's eaten the Washington Monument. Then, it's suddenly small enough to 
be plausibly threatened by a teen driving a bulldozer (wouldn't it step 
just on him?) Then, it's larger again, not Godzilla-size, but large to carry 
several dozen people in its legs and gut. Holy shrinky dinks, Batman!  

OK, it's porn. Not the most realistic of literature. But the lack of 
attention 
to one detail really blew the story for me... it was like the author assumed 
his or her readers were too thick to notice.





Laraloubaye [B+]
Author: Seyazou-Nubille
Where found: Literotica
URL: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=51589
Type: M/F, cons, SF, interracial

I found this story on Literotica, a self-posting archive for sex stories in 
the style of Fanfiction.net which I reviewed a few months back. It was 
pretty unusual story... an African science fiction fantasy about a 
genetically enhanced Zoue, a black superwoman with super sexual 
appetites:

_______________________________________________________________

She could feel the wetness of her pussy moisten her plump inner thighs. 
Her usually perpetually erect nipples were hardened more whilst 
brushing up against the mesh of her robe. Unlike many other Zoue, 
Laraloubaye resisted the strong temptation to strip down butt naked and 
drive her fingers up in her, pinch and pull her clitorises, and finger-
fuck herself until her hand and arm was drenched in her own pleasure 
juice. But she had done all that before. 

Laraloubaye didn't want to do the work anymore. She wanted someone 
elses finger up in her  curving upward and stroking her three G-spots. 
Some males heated body pressed up against her close enough to hear his 
heart (or hearts) beat, feel the pants of his erratic breath blowing across 
her skin, and his thick joint plowing her; opening her up and throbbing 
within her own temple of life. 

She could nearly feel this imaginary mans dick sliding in and out, and 
she wanted nothing more than to feel him loose control of his sanity, his 
lust, his love, his pleasure, as he unleashed his very essence into her 
womb. 

_______________________________________________________________

The story consisted mainly of description,  so I couldn't rate it too highly. 
But what there was showed a lot of imagination. Unusual and readable, 
with a poetically African tone (though I make no assumptions about the 
writer's race) and good background for a longer story, if the author ever 
gets tired of "hangin" as he or she says on the last line, and starts 
writing. 



Anatomy of an Orgasm [A]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/28/02
Author: Pami
Author address: pamil1968@aol.com
Type: M/F, cons

The author calls this "a short and intense stroke story." 

The horny narrator finds a date online for some no-strings-sex, and is 
pleased at the nerdiness of his profile ("The type of guy who would have 
been a nerd in high school.  But she knew what nerds were BEST at. ") He 
comes over, and they have sex.

That's all there was to the story -- and that's all the writer strived for -- 
so I can't really say any more beyond "it was hot." But I did enjoy it, 
especially the protagonist's insatiability, and the good use of a nerd. Is 
"cuntal" really a word, though?



Appreciation (Dr. Seuss style) [A]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/27/02
Author: Souvie
Author address: souvien22@yahoo.com
Author website: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Souvie/www
Type: Poem, humor

This poem was written for Eli's "220 Vocabulary Words or Less" Contest, 
in which writers must tell a story using only that number of words or 
less... though the words can be repeated ad infinitum. Souvie used the 
limitations of the concept to spoof a literary genre with similar 
limitations: The Dr. Seuss poem for children, in the style of "The Foot 
Book" (though Seuss is better known for the equally terse "Green Eggs 
and Ham.")


_______________________________________________________________

Old tits
Young tits
White tits
Black tits

On the land, and on the sea.
How many tits can there be?

_______________________________________________________________

I am thinking of a nude beach, here...

*Too* obvious a target, perhaps. But Souvie did it very well, and she was 
the first. 




The Jacklettes [C]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/31/02
Author: Raving Rendal
Author address: ravingrendal@aol.com
Type: F/F D/s, bond, toys

Sometimes I truly hate to be mean. Particularly when an author says in 
the foreword to their story: "This is my first origional work...feed back 
welcome (soory if this is a reapet post my other sever screwed up 
posting)" 

A college coed and her two friends hit the campus a couple of weeks 
early. Surprise, surprise, she runs into her mom who is there to attend 
opening day for a new "group" (I assume the author meant "sorority") 
setting up shop in a spooky old house. The girls are talked into exploring 
the place, running into a vibrating saddle, a butterfly dildo (?) and some 
handcuffed D/s shenanigans from mom and one of the other alumni, the 
older women running the show via the miracle of hidden cameras and 
remote control. I think. It wasn't clear.

A few words of constructive criticism, then. Number one. Who goes to 
their college several weeks early to "get to know the campus?" Whole 
cities like Rome and Paris can be done in a day or two. Why should Yale 
or MIT (which I've both visited) be any different?

Second. Please pay attention to your spelling and grammar. "Mom 
naturally gravitated to her crows as Jackie did the same"  "traced her 
fingers a long it"  "but could only get out staggered breaths"  "he had an 
orgasm in the building that they caused" were only a few of the most 
obvious mistakes I found; there were many, many, more. Did you read 
this after you wrote it?

Third. This is a story. Story dialogue is handled in quotes, "like this." 
Not: 
Like this, which belongs in a script. At any rate, the two styles shouldn't 
be mixed. It's jarring.

Fourth. Young women's college group = sorority. Was it too much trouble 
to look it up in a dictionary or thesaurus?

I could say more, but, I'll stop at "this story needed a lot of work."


Website Review: Dirty Dreams Designers
Address: http://www.orgyrocks.com
Reviewed 8/10/02

After I reviewed Fanfiction.net it was open season on rockslash, and so I 
got a request to review this site. It's an archive of bandslash about the 
rock group Orgy, who are best known for their hard-hitting remake of 
New Order's early 80s chestnut "Blue Monday." They are best described as 
techno nu-metal with the sick-glam look popularized by Marilyn 
Manson in his Mechanical Animals phase... a combination tailor-made, I 
thought, for some decadent, slashy kink. The site's owners think so too, 
with swaggering commentary that suggests they just discovered slash 
and are busy getting up everybody's noses with it.

So, I surfed in and took a look around. The site has a very good graphical 
interface, with a montage of pictures arranged to the right of and below 
main window with its scroll bars; control buttons were to the left, in a 
funky pixellated font in keeping with the nature of the group. In 
addition to stories, there were band pics, artwork, some good Orgy links, 
and a creative use of the Sims computer game -- the male characters 
were named after the band's members, and sent on simulated dates. There 
were also detailed guidelines for submitting stories to the site and the 
site's mailing list, all neatly organized. I was very impressed with the 
programming and the clean, sleek look of it. I wasn't so impressed with 
the material.

I'm not really into this group, and so I didn't expect to relate to these 
sexual fantasies the same way a fan would. But. Because these are stories, 
I did expect to be entertained by and/or enlightened about the subject 
matter, and I wasn't. In the five stories I read and ten I skimmed I didn't 
see the members of the group depicted as anything other than 
predigested pulp. I didn't get a feel for their personalities, outlooks, 
motivations, or quirks; I didn't even get a good mental image of what 
they looked like. (One of the members is of Indian or Central Asian 
descent; this was never mentioned.) I couldn't even get worked up over 
all the sadistic things that happened... disembowelings, rapes, and incest 
that made the boyband slash I've been reading look positively apple-
cheeked.

What I did get was a lot of overblown gothic angst. I found most of the 
stories were of the relationship vignette kind, slice-of-life sexual 
encounters that made little sense. In Rayvin's "Sound Mind and Body," 
for example, the nameless narrator stalks and ultimately murders Jay, 
the group's lead singer, for no clear reason;  in "Gnawing," by Gynger 
Lyszt, the raper of Jay is Amir, a fellow member, whose cryptic excuse is 
"It has to be done." I don't know about you, but if I was going to rape and 
mutilate someone, I'd make damn sure I knew why I was doing it. The 
same problem comes up again in "Immoral Lust" where Bobby, the 
drummer, shares a semiconsensual fuck with his twin because... well, it 
was never exactly stated why the illicit passion suddenly loosed itself at 
that particular place and time. It just happened. (I took a personal 
offense to the story as well because of the cutesy, hey-we-really-love-
each-other ending that was tacked on.) The lack of motivation made the 
piquant sadism considerably less shocking and titillating than it was 
written to be.

OK, I know this is fanfic... it's shared fantasy material for which the 
subjects already exist and are known to the fantasizers, so you could say 
*any* description or motivation is superfluous. But many of the much-
derided boyband fanfics have plots (and surprise, some of them are quite 
good) as well as character, so I really couldn't understand why these 
stories were so unimaginative. It was like every other author wrote the 
same thing over again, in a slightly different style. To be fair, there may 
have been better storylines in the PG and R-rated material, but I'm a sex 
stories reviewer; I only do the hard stuff.

A few of the writers tried to sketch in the blanks of the band's daily life. 
"Eraser" was a crossover about a sugary affair between Paige, Orgy's bass 
player, and NIN's Trent Reznor that blossoms while the groups are on 
tour in Germany. A name-dropping hip-cool factor ("I nodded to Ryan, 
who was doing shots with Gen from the Genitorurers") was reached for, 
but was unconvincing because it was so obvious. The story descended 
into soap opera when Paige uses his "angel" to stir up feelings of 
jealousy in Jay, his bandmate and ex-lover who discarded him for "that 
whore Amir"... a very female development, and I stopped reading at that 
point, because, after my marathon LotR reviews, I was tired of seeing 
male characters estrogenized. I also got tired of hearing about boxers... 
no one wore underwear, only boxers... I mean, come on, wouldn't you 
think a group as badass as this one would wear something more risque, 
or go without underwear altogether, rather than wear these square, 
silly, shortlike garments?

(Note: The majority of young men I knew prefer Jockeys and briefs because 
they are cheaper, more comfortable to sleep in, and become 
progressively softer as they are washed; they also take up less space in 
drawers, do not wrinkle, and are convenient for keeping your t-shirt 
tucked inside your pants. Of course, it may be that "boxers" is now 
slang for "any kind of male underwear" among writers of a certain 
generation... if so, please inform me.)

The other semi-real story, "My Frustration," by Shane, takes us inside the 
studio where Orgy is recording, A series of escalating, rather groundless, 
insults between members Amir and Jay lead to a lovingly described 
fistfight between the two, which goes on for many paragraphs and ends 
with a rape. This was the best of the stories I read, since there was a plot, 
some motivation, and a climax and aftermath. The fight scenes were well 
done with good descriptions, and the story ended cynically, as a good nu-
metal fic should. 

As to why female writers are so driven to torturing their idols, maybe it 
all goes back to archetypes, the Greek God Dionysius being torn to pieces 
by his wild Maenads. I do know that, as a female, the stories spoke to me 
on a level that conventional porn does not, even as I derided them. 
Pointless as they were, I actually felt embarrassed as I read, the thrilling 
shame that comes from breaking a well-established taboo. I felt I was 
doing something truly forbidden, whereas with regular porn -- even the 
sickest and kinkiest -- I don't. If there's a difference between 'male' and 
'female' porn, this is it.

Interface: A+
Content: B+ to C+
Will I visit again: No.



_____________________________________________________________
Comments to: ladycyrrh AT (substitute @) aol.com
Website--->  http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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