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Subject: {ASSM} First Ever Repost (5): Leggy And Legless (FMM, revenge) ~ by DrSpin
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2001 17:10:07 -0500
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Leggy and Legless (FMM, revenge)
by DrSpin (aka Neil Anthony)
(first ever repost - originally posted December 1999) 

---------------------------------------------------------
* The author welcomes comments and opinions from readers 
and is invariably motivated to respond. Write to:
drspin@newsguy.com or neil@ruthiesclub.com

* DrSpin's Standard Disclaimer: 
I write and you read, if you care to. That's all there is 
to it. Any reader is offended should not have been here 
in the first place.
---------------------------------------------------------

Andy was dead drunk, and when he was like that somebody 
eventually had to take him home. We left him lying around 
for a while because it wasn't a pleasant task. Andy was 
one of those guys who fell to bits suddenly when he 
reached his limit. When he went he was gone. 

The trouble with Andy was that he did it all too often and 
his wife was pretty much sick and tired of it. Al's buck's 
night had been great up till now, but it was over and 
somebody had to take Andy home. We drew straws. Pete got the 
job and asked me to come with him. 

"You know her better than I do," he pleaded. "She'll be 
steaming."

I knocked on the door while Pete held Andy upright or 
thereabouts. Colleen was angry before she opened it. I 
could feel it through the wood panelling. She knew Andy 
would have used his key. If he could. Which he couldn't.
She was a tall girl. She stood in the frame of the 
doorway, lit by the lamp on the porch, and glared at us. 

I inclined my head in a gesture of apology. She glared 
some more, tightened the cord on her gown, turned and 
stomped away down the corridor. 

"You two can carry him upstairs and put him to bed," she 
said over her shoulder. "I'd be just as happy to leave him 
outside."

I'd done this once before. We carried and dragged him up 
the stairs and dumped him on the bed. The rest was up to 
him. We ventured down the stairs cautiously, shuffling 
like you do when you're ill at ease, and headed for the 
front door. 

"Wait just a minute," she called out sharply. 

It was a command and we stopped. "Come in here," she 
said. "I want to talk to you."

She might have been named Colleen but she didn't look it. 
Nothing dainty about Andy's Colleen. She was taller than 
Pete and nearly as tall as I was, with black and bushy 
curly hair, brown-black eyes, a long straight nose and a 
wide and full mouth. She was olive-skinned, straight-
lined and the leggiest female you were likely to run 
across. Whatever Irish ancestry she might call on had 
been swamped by a strong line of middle-European Slavic 
inheritance. She was wearing a black-and-white Japanese-
style kimono and her feet were bare.

"What the hell happened," she demanded. "He promised he'd 
be home early. You think I like staying up this late 
waiting for him to fall in the door?"

I shrugged. "He drank too much."

"Again."

"Again," I agreed.

"But he promised."

Pete took a step forward, trying to be helpful. "It was a 
pretty big night," he said. "I guess he got carried away 
with the excitement."

I winced. Pete was inexperienced. You didn't want to 
volunteer a lot of information. Just pay your dues, say 
you're sorry and get the hell out of it.

"Excitement?" Her interest picked up immediately.

"Well, yes," said Pete. "It was a buck's night, you 
know."

"Was it?" She tapped her fingers on the mantlepiece. "Was 
it indeed? He didn't tell me that."

There you go. Now everybody was just that bit more upset. 
Pete looked over at me but I kept my face straight.

"So," she said. "A buck's night. I guess you had a 
stripper?"

"Sure," said Pete, who couldn't seem to help himself. 
"You know how it is."

"Actually, I don't," she said, fixing her glare on him. 
"Suppose you tell me?"

Pete cleared his throat. "Oh well, you know, it was Al's 
big night so we all chipped in. All ten of us. I mean, 
that's what you do."

"You all chipped in." She pondered that. "What did she 
cost?"

"500," said Pete.

She laughed derisively. "You paid her 500? What did she 
do for that?"

Pete needed rescuing badly. "She took her clothes off," I 
said, as blandly as I could.

"And you paid her 500? Did you get your money's worth? 
She'd need to be Miss Universe." She turned her eyes back 
to Pete. She knew he was the blabbermouth. "Is that all 
she did?"

"Yes," I said. But at the same time, Pete was blabbing. 

"She fooled around a bit," he said.

"Who with?"

"With Al," I said quickly. Pete, finally starting to 
learn something, nodded his head in agreement.

"Not with Andy?"

"Hey," I said. "Andy was way too drunk to fool around 
with anybody."

She eyed me suspiciously. "That's probably true."

A silence developed. I looked towards the doorway. Surely 
it was time to go.

"You guys are something else," she said. "You've got 
wives. Or girlfriends. But you pay some tart 500 to take 
off her clothes. What's the matter with you?"

"Colleen, it's just a sort of tradition," I said. "It 
means nothing."

"But I'm curious, Vince. I mean, how good was she? Was 
she really good looking?"

"She was okay. As strippers go."

"Well," she said, considering me. "For example, did she 
have better legs than me?"

"Hell no," I said honestly.

"Was she more attractive than me?"

"No way."

"Well, did she have a better body than me?"

"I wouldn't think so."

"You wouldn't think so. But you gave her 500. Would you 
give me 500 to take off my clothes?"

"Come on, Colleen. Give me a break."

"No, seriously."

"The question would never come up."

"I'm bringing it up, Vince. Would you pay me 500 to 
strip?"

I shuffled uncomfortably. "You're not a stripper."

"But if I decided to turn my hand to it, would you pay me 
500?"

I waved my hand in a gesture of peace and understanding. 
"I guess so."

She leant towards me slightly. "Okay," she said. "I'll do 
it. Here and now. Give me 500."

I laughed. "We haven't got 500."

"How much have you got?"

I laughed again. "I've got 10 bucks."

She swung her attention to Pete. "How much have you got?"

Pete raised his eyebrows at me. "About 25, I guess."

"Not exactly a top offer," she said. "You give some tart 
500 earlier tonight and I have to do the same job for 35. 
And, according to you, I look better than she did. What 
am I supposed to say to that?"

"You're supposed to turn it down," I said, looking for 
the exit line. "And we're supposed to go home."

"I'll tell you this," she said. "35 is an insult and I'm 
turning it down. I wouldn't want to lose my amateur 
status for 35, so I'll do it for nothing."

"Huh?" Pete's exclamation was loud but to the point.

"But you don't get anything fancy for nothing. No dancing 
or music or striptease or the like. I'll just simply take 
off my clothes. Right?"

I knew I had a pained expression on my face. "Now look, 
"I said. "Colleen, this is certainly not right at all."

She tugged loose the belt of the kimono and shrugged off 
the garment with a simple and smooth shimmy of her 
shoulders. 

"Oops," she said. "Looks like I was wearing very little 
underneath." 

The kimono pooled at her feet. She was wearing only black 
pants. And she was pretty damn good, no problem. Great 
long legs. Full breasts. Fine skin.

"Well, guys," she said with a faint smile on her mouth. 
"Here's the truth of it. I swore a sacred and solemn 
curse to Andy that the next time he came in hopelessly 
late and hopelessly drunk I'd fuck the guy who brought 
him home." She sighed. "Obviously he didn't believe me. 
Now he's going to learn the hard way but two of you 
brought him home so I guess I'll have to fuck both of 
you." She turned her dark eyes on me. "You first."

Decision time. Do I turn and flee out the door? She was 
going to tell Andy, no doubt about it. She was planning a 
revenge fuck, pure and simple. He'd go off his face and 
come looking for us. On the other hand, she was top 
shelf. And I was bigger than Andy anyway. But he could 
fight like a cornered cat. Maybe he'd take it all out on 
my little mate. Poor Pete.

"If I must," I said.

Some events stand out like milestones in your life. This 
wasn't one of them. It would be fucking good for my ego 
to say I fucked her good and she was amazed by my good 
fucking performance. But I didn't even extract from her 
the smallest amount of affection, let alone 
gratification. All I can say is that I was there and I 
did it. Sheesh, you'd have given a passing stray dog a 
more polite acknowledgement than I got from Colleen.

I tend to get a bit mellow and aw-shucks sentimental 
after I've stuck a precious piece of me into a woman, 
even if she's boring holes through me with malevolent 
eyes. She didn't once crack a smile. She didn't raise an 
eyebrow. I'm not at all certain she even blinked. She was 
a real nice package but there weren't nothing inside the 
box.

Even a jaded and cynical hooker will say thanks, even if 
she's only talking about the money. And maybe a comment 
on the weather or something complimentary about your 
shoes. Something. Anything. All Colleen said was: "Tell 
the ugly short guy it's his turn."

I stood around outside the front door and waited for 
Pete. I didn't even get to have a second cigarette. 

"Right," he said, shutting the door behind him and 
looking anywhere but at me. "Let's get the hell out of 
here."

To my surprise, Andy didn't come hunting for us with a 
shotgun. It was as if it hadn't happened. Pete made it 
clear he didn't want to talk about it and the incident 
would have faded away except I couldn't quite shake the 
image of Colleen's long-legged body from my memory bank. 

Three weeks or so passed until I saw Andy. I was cajoling 
an automatic teller to give me cash when he tapped me on 
the shoulder.

"I've been out of circulation," he said. "Colleen's been 
pissed off bigtime since Al's buck's party and I've had 
to mend a few bridges. She said you and Pete took me home 
that night and I want to say thanks, and you won't have 
to do it again."

"S'okay," I said. "It happens, even if it does happen 
more to you than most people."

"Right," he agreed. "But I've used up all my chances and 
I have to keep myself nice with Colleen for a while."

"She sure was not happy," I said.

"You bet. I realised how bad she was next day when she 
told me she screwed you and Pete to teach me a lesson."

I laughed hysterically, like it was the funniest joke I'd 
heard that month. It was lucky Andy was none too bright, 
because a lot of guys might have separated the laughter 
from the hysteria and become suspicious.

"Yeah," he said, laughing himself. "I didn't fall for 
that one. I mean, Colleen has always hated your guts. And 
Pete...well, no woman in her right mind would screw 
Pete."

"Yeah, right," I said. Whew.

"But it showed me how angry she really was," Andy said. 
"So I thought I ought to take note. For a while anyway."

So we'd got away with it. This was fine because I wished 
no harm on good old Andy and because Pete was a nervously 
married man. No problem for me in that direction, because 
I was notoriously in and out of relationships like a 
slippery fish, which was probably why Colleen regarded me 
less than warmly. Some women could be like that.

Unfortunately it was not the end of the matter. A few 
weeks later I was attending the opening of stage two of a 
casino development where Andy was some sort of deputy 
security boss. I had a drink in my hand and I was talking 
to a bunch of guys and, horrors, up came Andy and 
Colleen.

"Lookee here," said Colleen, pointing at me and then at 
Pete, who was also there. "Andy, here are the two guys I 
fucked the last time you were drunk and out of it."

But I had her measure. "Yeah right," I said, rolling my 
eyes. "I wish."

Andy laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. I laughed. 
The other guys laughed. We all laughed. Except Colleen. 
And except Pete, who looked like he'd had a sudden attack 
of dysentery. "Not me either," he said, trying 
desperately to extend the joke to include him.

"That's right," said Colleen. "You couldn't get it up." 

We all laughed again. Except Colleen and Pete.

"Hey Vince," said Andy. "Seeing you know Colleen so well, 
look after her for me for a bit, will you? I have to be 
on duty for a little while."

"Sure," I said, although I wasn't by a long shot.

"I want to talk to you," she said to me as soon as Andy 
was out of earshot. She glanced around at the other guys 
and motioned with her head. "In private. Over there." 

I followed her to a neglected corner and she turned and 
looked at me directly. "I just want to offer you some 
sort of apology," she said.

I couldn't read her face. Was she serious? "For what?" I 
asked.

"That other night. I wasn't exactly very nice to you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, you didn't pour me a cold 
beer in a tall frosted glass, but I'm not complaining."

"You know what I mean," she said crossly.

I shrugged. "I know you were angry with Andy, if that's 
what you mean."

"But I didn't have to take it out on you." She smiled at 
me but I could see she was putting some effort into it. 
"You only did what I asked you to do."

"Colleen, what's going on? You don't have to do this. You 
don't even like me."

"Maybe I like you better than I like him," she said. She 
meant her husband, of course.

"He didn't believe you?"

"You know he didn't."

"Look, Colleen, he told me he'd fucked up and he was 
going to try harder. Maybe you got your point across 
anyway."

"We'll see. Anyway I figured I owe you."

"Owe me what?"

"Another turn in the barrel."

Hey what? Did she mean what I thought she meant?

"Right now would be good," she said. "I know just the 
right place." 

I knew it made no sense. I tried to put it together but she 
grabbed me by the arm. "Quick," she said. "In here." 

She pushed open a door not five paces away. It didn't look 
like a door that should open but it did. She pulled me after 
her into a brightly-lit stairwell. "It's the fire escape," 
she said. "It's not properly finished yet."

Dry lumps of concert and lengths of metal pipe were 
scattered about. The official opening had arrived 
slightly too early for this part of the building. Colleen 
put her back to the wall, hiked up her dress and pulled 
down her pants to her knees. "This time," she said, "I 
guarantee a more friendly response."

Logic and reason disintegrated. Doing it against a wall 
may not be the easiest way to do it but it sure is one of 
the most blindingly erotic. I moved straight in, fumbling 
with my trousers as she wound her arms around my neck and 
kissed me hard and hot. She was tall and I had to bend my 
knees but I got straight on up there. True to her word, 
it was a very different Colleen. She wriggled urgently 
against me, threw her head back and gave it her best 
shot.

We rutted like animals in the stairwell. Savage sex. 
White hot mischief. A truly memorable fuck. And in the 
afterglow, with me still buried in her, she said, with 
her head on my shoulder: "Well, that ought to do it."

"Do what?" I was panting still.

She gestured lazily at the ceiling and I looked up. I saw 
the security camera, its red eye winking. Oh shit.

"Guess who's in charge of the security cameras," she 
said.

Oh shit.

"He goes through all the tapes every morning," she said.

ENDS

* DrSpin/Neil Anthony is at http://www.ruthiesclub.com

* also at neil@ruthiesclub.com and at http://www.ruthiesclub.com

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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