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Subject: {ASSM} Story: Y-Men (mc,ff,some tg,humor) by Jafar
Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2001 09:10:04 -0500
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                                    Y-Men
                   A Love Story of Super-Heroic Proportions

                           Copyright 2001 by Jafar




Summary: mind control, Mf, ff, some tg, humor
The Y-Men are a group of superheroes, the likes of which you probably
haven't seen before. Join them in the most fearsome struggle of their
careers.

See No Evil: Contains sexually explicit and politically incorrect
material. If you shouldn't be reading this, or if it might offend you,
simply stop now.

Legalese: All actors and actresses are over the age of consent. Proof of
age is on file. Any similarity of any character, event or place to any
actual person, event or place, is purely coincidental. This is all
fantasy, and the actors are all professionals  --  do not try any of
this at home.

Archiving: You are welcome to discreetly repost or archive this, just do
not change it, steal from it or claim credit for it.

Author's Ramblings: Fast fun fluff. Yeah, superhero stories have been
done before, sometimes quite well. But ... what the hell. Here's my hand
at one.

Have fun!



                   The Mormon Church of the Superhero World
                   --- ------ ------ -- --- --------- -----

Frank Evans belched, then answered the ringing phone beside the bed.
"Yo?"

"Hello? I'm trying to reach a Mr Evans, a Mr Frank Evans."

"Yeah, that's me. Whatcha want?"

"Mr Evans, I am Hayfever Lad. I represent the Judgemental League of
America, the JLA. I understand that you are the alter ego of Meteor Man,
and I was wondering if you might be interested in a membership in our
organization. You've probably read in the papers about the slaughter and
mayhem that the Bobbitt Club has been causing all major righteous
superhero alliances lately. The JLA has not been immune to these losses,
so we are currently conducting a membership drive. Do you think you
might have the metal and resolve to lend your super-gifts to the forces
of light in their eternal battle against the villainous forces of evil?"

"Hayfever Lad? Didn't you used to be that little buttscratch sidekick of
Bend Me Over and Anally Probe Me Man?"

"Sir, I really don't think that's appropriate langu-- "

"Yeah, I'd be thrilled to join your little faggot organization. But you
need to be aware of what it is you're gettin'. Yeah, I'm Meatier Man,
but not like the little hot rock that flies through the sky and comes
from space. I'm Meatier Man, with a prick the length and diameter of a
forearm, and I make women spread their legs and beg. How many
superheroines do you have in your little organization? 'Cause I want you
to know that not a one of them is safe. Except, of course, the ugly
ones. I won't bother them."

"I--  I think there has been some type of misunderstanding, sir. I'm
sorry to have bothered you."

"Oh, no bother. Really." The line went dead, and Frank hung up.
"Faggot."

The Crimson Blush rolled over and stretched. "Who was that, baby?"

"Wrong number. Really, REALLY wrong number."

"Oh, goooood," she smiled, reaching her arms up and around Frank's
sholders and pulling him down to her. "Come back to bed, then, and DO
me!"

                            				  ----------

Two hours later, Frank lay in bed with the temporarilly sated Crimson
Blush, snuggling. God, he hated snuggling.

He was considering invoking his tool on last night's bed partner and
having another go at her --  anything to get out of "the snuggles" --
when there was a knock at the apartment door. Saved.

Leaving her lightly dozing, he walked to the front door and opened it to
reveal a large muscular man in a body stocking that was far too red for
any self-respecting hetero male to wear. Over his heart, about the size
of an Izod, was a white maple leaf. Beside and behind him was a
snivelling toad of a man.

"Why, it's Captain Canada," Frank declared, "And his trusty sidekick
Buttplug."

"Hi, Meaty."

"How is everyone's favorite Canuck?"

"Not so good. We have a problem."

"Something that a six-pack and a good set of studded tires won't fix?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Mmmm. Serious, then. Come in."

It seemed that someone had stolen Captain Quasar's testicles, the source
of his powers. There was no doubt that the Bobbitt Club was behind this,
and it showed the Club's growing arrogance and lack of restraint.

"Do you have a plan for retrieving the testicles?"

"That's why we're here, Meaty. We need your help."

"Why are-- " a soft voice came from the bedroom door and the three male
heads turned to see the beautiful woman wrapped in a robe, standing
there, "Why are the testicles so important?"

"A question only a woman would ask!" Buttplug rolled his eyes.

"Captain Quasar is currently the only thing standing between the world
and the expansion of the Aurora Incident," Meaty explained.

"What is the Aurora Incident?"

Meatier Man sighed and shook his head.

"She may not have heard," Captain Canada spoke up. "We HAVE been keeping
it under wraps so that noone takes advantage of it." He turned to the
pretty woman. "There was a minor superhero about three years ago --
Aurora Lad. Pretty light shows, dazzle effects on his opponents, et
cetera. All nickel and dime stuff. Then one night he visited a disco in
New York City."

"Those things still exist?!"

"A few, underground. For the desperate junkies that still need that 70
beat a minute fix. Anyway, Aurora Lad was dancing away, doing his
Travolta moves, to a disco light show, having a hell of a time, when he
backed into an open electrical outlet.

"In a single moment, he drained the entire Canadian power grid, and his
superpowers increased a million-fold. He de-atomized, but his powers
continued to expand on their own. Captain Quasar was able to contain
them with a selective super-gravitational field."

"But if he hadn't, we'd have what?" she asked. "Beautiful light shows
every night?"

"Sure," Buttplug muttered, "Enjoy the light show while it devours the
ozone layer."

"He's right," Captain Canada said. "It might take days, maybe weeks,
certainly no more than a year. And ... no more ozone layer."

"Yep. Quasar's gonads are all that stand between us and doom!"

"I see," she said. "Why was the JLA never informed?"

Meaty's mind flashed back to this morning's phone call, and he knew a
moment of horror. No ... he had seduced this superheroine yesterday, but
she couldn't possibly be a JLA member. Could she? "What ... would be the
point of telling the JLA?" he tested.

"Well, we ARE the final bastion of light, the defender of those in need,
the single force standing between-- "

"Oh, Christ!" Meaty cursed.

"Oh Christ, what?" the woman asked, irked.

"I just had sex with one of those JLA fanatics!"

"We are NOT fanatics!"

"Yeah, right. I CAN'T believe I DID that!"

"It's all right," Captain Canada tried to calm him. "Sometimes you just
can't spot them. The most insidious thing is that they LOOK JUST LIKE
US! You just didn't know."

"I should have checked!"

"And what is WRONG with the JLA?!"

"Ha!" Buttplug guffawed.

"Oh, nothing at all," Captain Canada rolled his eyes. "If you don't mind
being one of the stormlords enforcing the will of the Christian
puritanical hardcore on the rest of the population of the EARTH!"

"You'll have to forgive the Captain," Meaty said. "He swallows
conspiracy theories the way some people eat carbohydrates. For the rest
of us, you're just a bunch of soul-sucking pig-fuckers, to paraphrase a
movie."

"I ... see," she said stiffly, reaching up to hold the neckline of her
robe closed. "And you 'gentlemen' are part of which more 'enlightened'
organization, may I ask?"

"We're part of the Y-Men!" Buttplug answered.

"Yeah," Meaty smiled. "Our first thought was to call ourselves the
KS-Men, 'cause that's the name that everyone thinks is cool at first.
But that name was already taken."

"Good thing, too!" Buttplug put in.

"Yeah! We got to thinking. We're men! We're proud! PROUD of our Y
chromosomes! Why not advertise? We should be the Y-Men!"

"Yeeeaah!" Buttplug agreed.

"And so a superhero organization was born!" Captain Canada stood up from
the sofa reverentially. He reached upward toward the sky. " We don't
stand for the government secret organizations! We don't stand for the
puritanical bigots! We don't stand for the villainous megalomaniacs!
No!"

"Amen, brother," Buttplug amenned. "Who DO we stand for?!"

"We stand for the regular joe! For the couch spud that considers the
thumb exercise he gets surfing with the remote to be his aerobics! For
the immortal citizen that derives his longevity from potato chip
preservatives!"

"AMEN!"

"I ... see," the woman said distastefully, having indeed seen much more
of these men's thinking than she really cared to.

"Yeah," Meaty continued. "We aren't part of no faggot organization. The
KS-Men are a bunch of pussies. Hell, the head of the KS-Men, that
President Savior, is a bald-headed crippled phallic symbol himself. Not
us! We're MEN!"

"That sleep with those distasteful JLA members," she reminded him.

"Rrrnghmmphthls," Meaty mumbled.

"There IS that, I guess," Captain Canada said, spreading his hands
apologetically.

"Which brings up a question that has been eating at me since I stepped
out of bed. Why the hell DID I ever go to bed with the likes of you?"

Meatier Man stared at the floor and smiled. "I flexed my pud," he
muttered.

"You what?!"

He looked up at his bed partner. "I flexed my pud muscle. And you became
... all WOMAN for me, baby."

"Oh, get REAL! That's insane! Noone can do that!"

Meaty lightly rubbed his crotch. "Spread and beg, baby," he muttered.

"You're ... just ... Oh! ... MY! ... I'll be right back!" She scurried
back into the bedroom.

Meaty turned to the Captain. "If I don't miss my guess, you have the
seed of a plan started to retrieve Captain Quasar's ... valuables."

"Uhm ..."

"You DO have a plan, don't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"And? What is it?"

"Uhm ..."

"Captain Canada, I sense that there's something that you're not telling
me."

"Well ... you know how we were just explaining to your lady friend all
about the sins of the JLA?"

"Yeah ..." Meaty answered, suspicious of where this was going.

"Well ... my plan ... involves ... sort of an ... alliance-- "

"Oh, Christ!"

"Between us and-- "

"Why?! Why do you DO these things to me?!"

"Meaty, it's really the only way."

"But ... jeez!"

"Whooo-eee! Nipples! Nipples! Nipples!" Buttplug jabbed an index finger
at the bedroom doorway.

The Crimson Blush was standing in the doorway in four inch black heels,
crimson garter belt and hose, a crimson g-string worn on the outside of
the garter belt, and ... nothing else. Her dark areolas were perked up a
half inch. Her dark hair hung loose at her shoulders, and a smile danced
at her mouth and in her eyes.

"I ... uhm ... found this in a drawer. I hope you boys ... don't mind."
She toyed with a strand of hair, wrapping it around her index finger.

Meaty stood and unsnapped his pajama bottoms, letting them fall to the
floor.

"Ohgod!" the Crimson Blush whimpered at his erection.

"You're still a bit overdressed," Meaty said as he sat back on the
couch.

"Oh, YEAH!" she sighed as she stuck her thumbs in the waist of her
g-string and started to pull it down. Then she halted, wriggled around
so her ass faced her audience, then bent at the waist as she pulled them
down. She stood and slowly turned around.

"Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!" Buttplug pointed.

"Well, wiggle that pretty little ass over here," Meaty told her, "And
bury my cock in your pelvis."

"Baby! YES!" She scurried over to him.

"No, no. Turn around, with your back to me and straddle my legs. That
way I can grope your boobs while you bounce on me."

"Yes! Baby!"

Once his femme-toy got her rhythm bouncing on him, Meaty turned back to
Captain Canada. "So you have some crazy scheme that requires partnership
with the JLA? Why?"

"Well, the core of the plan hinges on the fact that the entire Bobbitt
Club is female, and you have a ... way ... with females." He gestured
towards the bouncing, mewling Crimson Blush.

"Okay, I'm with you so far. But why do we need the JLA?"

"The Bobbitt Club has some dangerous members, Meaty. That's why they've
gotten as far as they have.

"There's the Ovulator. She instills one mother of a nesting instinct in
her victim --  pun intended --  and if she pushes hard enough, she
induces pregnancy in the poor bastard.

"There's the Effeminator. She forces female sexual characteristics on
her victims, and if she pushes hard enough, turns them entirely into
women.

"There's the Detesticulator. She shrinks gonads to peas, and if she
pushes hard enough, pphfft! they're gone altogether.

"They're all led by Seargant Dyke, the meanest, toughest, butch lesbian
that ever was.

"They're a nasty, dangerous bunch, these women, to say the least. We're
depending on you being able to exert your power over not one, but four
of them. If any of them successfully use their powers on you, you could
be compromised or even taken out of action. We use the JLA as fodder to
keep them distracted until you get your shot at them."

Meaty thought about that as the Crimson Blush bounced on him, an inane
grin on her face. "So you're saying we use them as disposable decoys."

"If you don't want to beat around the bush, you could put it like that,
yeah."

"I like that. What do you think, baby. What if we use your friends as
expendible targets while we attack the Bobbitt Club?"

"Oh! Just FUCK me, baby! FUCK ME!"

"I LIKE it! This plan is okay! Pull your pants down, Captain. I'm gonna
have my little honey here give you a blowjob for this one!"

Smiling, the Captain stood, then halted. "Will she--  will she mind?"

Meaty whacked her rear thigh on an up-bounce. "What do ya think,
pleasure hole? Mind giving our friend here a BJ?"

"Oh, just FUCK ME, baby! Bring that cock over here, Captain! NOW!
PLEASE! I NEED it! Soooooo BAD!"

It took Captain Canada several desperate seconds of yanking and clawing
to get his body stocking pulled down around his ankles, then he quickly
shuffled toward the pretty brunette, who leaned down and took him in her
warm, wet mouth.

"Oh, MY! Yes! She is MOST lovely, Meaty!"

"Just one of the fringe benefits of being a Y-Man, Captain."

"Hey ... uhm ... Meaty, do you think I could-- "

"Go ahead, Buttplug. She won't mind at all."

                            				  ----------

The Crimson Blush stirred. Sitting up from the floor and rubbing her
eyes, she noticed that she was shedding skin in flakes. Not skin, she
realized, but something that had dried on her and was now coming off.
Strange. She looked around --  oh, that's right, she had found herself
with these --  she made a distasteful face --  Y-Men. Captain Canada had
confiscated the sofa to sleep off his orgasm. Buttplug was in a
half-kneeling position on the floor, his face resting on his tongue on
the carpet --  snoring loudly. Meatier Man was leaned back in the
Lazy-Boy, his hands crossed over his abdomen, looking quite peaceful and
sated.

Her mind travelled back to before that horrible craving to what Meatier
Man had been saying ... about his "pud" .. and --  oh, shit!

"You really were quite the cum queen, Miss Blush."

Her eyes jerked to Meatier Man, all the memories coming back to her now.
"Oh ... my ... GOD!" Suddenly her mind clicked, and another clue fell
into place. "This is SEMEN, isn't it?! Dried and flaking off me! Oh
Christ! I've been COATED in JISM!"

"Cum-dipped and dried, honey. You seemed pretty ecstatic about it at the
time, smiling and singing and rubbing it all over like you were taking a
bath in it."

"HOW MANY men did you invite IN HERE?! There's more dried semen on me
than you three turds could have produced!"

"Well ... actually ... when Buttplug spews, he really spews a load!"

"Aaaaawwwwww ... sonofaBITCH! YOU! YOU made me do this!"

Meaty smiled. "Accomplished with pud power."

The Crimson Blush shut her eyes and bunched her face up in
concentration.

"Oooh, now I feel really bad ... alas ... what shame ... what guilt ...
how can I bear this burden ..."

The Crimson Blush opened one eye to see if he was really repentent or
just being a wise-ass again.

Meatier Man was grinning from ear to ear. "Can't grow shame in lifeless
soil."

"Don't you even feel bad about totally soaking a poor innocent lady in
cum?!"

"Mmmmm ... no."

She stood and started brushing the rest of the flakes off her naked
body.

"Would you like a robe?"

"If my memory serves me correctly, you boys have seen in and around
every orifice in my body. So ... what's the point?"

"There is that." Meaty admired the way her body jiggled with her flaking
motions. "I'm going to have to ask you for a favor, sugar-tits."

"My, my! How could I possibly deny you anything you ask, sir?!"

"Sarcasm is pretty on you. It makes you look weak and easy to overtake.
But we need to be serious, I think. The world is about to be inflicted a
blow from which it may never recover. The Y-Men need you bastions of
light in the JLA to be-- "

"-- fodder to take the blows and distract the Bobbitt Club and protect
you. Yes, I remember. I'm not brainless. And, no, I think the JLA can
come up with a much BETTER plan than that!"

Meaty sighed. "I was afraid you were going to be like that ..." He
lightly rubbed his crotch. "Spread and beg, baby," he muttered.

The Crimson Blush was dusting the dried jism off her thigh. She moved up
and began dusting her crimson pussy, then found her finger sliding
deeply into her wet hot hole. "Nnnnggh!" she whimpered. "Oh, big meaty
man! I need you to COAT me again! GIVE me that skin conditioner! I
NEEEEED it --  BAD!"

"Sure, honey hole. But I need you to make a phone call first."

"Anything! I just NEED you! IN me! Can I ride you while I call?"

"You can ride me after the beginning of the call. Dial the JLA."

"Whatever you want baby!" She took the phone from him and dialed,
867-5309. "Hi, this is the Crimson Blush. Hi, Worry Girl. We've got a
big problem. Yeah, I need you to put one of the bigwigs on. Yes, future
of the world or lack thereof stuff. Yes, I can hold." She waved and
smiled sweetly at Meaty. "Can I get on now?"

"In just one minute. Talk to them and let them know there is a problem,
then give the phone to Captain Canada to discuss the details, and you
can climb onboard."

"Oh, GOODY!"

"Captain!" Meaty called, trying to stir him from the sleep of the
sexually sated.

"Oh, let ME!" Crimson backed her rear end to the Captain's face, still
holding the telephone. "I am so fucking wet that he HAS to be able to
smell me! Oops! No, Worry Girl, I wasn't talking to you. Yes, put her
on. Yes. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, the Earth's ozone layer is at dire
risk. Yes, ma'am, the most recent crime commited by the Bobbitt Club.
No, he's holding a potential disaster in check, and--  yes, ma'am."

Captain Canada's nose wrinked a couple times, then he opened his eyes to
see a beautiful pair of butt cheeks in front of him, which he promptly
nipped.

"Some Aurora Incid--  oooh!" She reached around to playfully slap the
Captain on the chest. "No, no, ma'am. No, I'm just so worried that I'm
pacing around while I talk, and I stubbed my toe. Yes, ma'am, let me let
you talk to one of these gentlemen that knows more about the details
than I do." She handed the phone to Captain Canada, then crawled on all
fours across the room to Meaty, a leer on her face. "Can I PLEEEEEEASE
climb up on your rod now?"

Meaty nodded.

In a moment, the Crimson Blush was lost in ecstasy while Captain Canada
explained the plight of the world.



                          Dancing to the Maca-Lorena
                          ------- -- --- -----------


Twelve superheroes were assembled outside the Bobbitt Club headquarters.

The entire Y-Men team was there: Meatier Man, Captain Canada and
Buttplug, the Smelly Pit and Kid Testosterone.

The core of the JLA was represented by the three remaining old-timers:
Sexual Harassment Woman, Inappropriate Joke Man and Racial
Discrimination Man. Their numbers were filled out by the newer recruits:
Hayfever Lad, Worry Girl, Princess Gymnast and Schoolbell Boy. They had
waited for the Crimson Blush, but she hadn't shown up yet.

"We cannot wait any longer," Racial Discrimination Man spoke. "We need
to move in now."

"Did you ..." Captain Canada quietly asked Meatier Man, "... DO anything
to keep Miss Blush from showing?"

"Well ... we can't have her spilling the beans of the plan. So I sexed
her up and locked her in a closet."

"Cruel, cruel man," the Captain shook his head.

"Move up," Racial Discrimination Man ordered.

The group moved to within a block of the building.

Suddenly, the front double doors burst open, and a busty brunette in a
blue spandex thong and a low-cut blue spandex halter, wearing ruby-red
goggles, came running out, shrieking, boobs a'bouncin'.

Captain Canada moved to intercept her. He caught her and held her,
trying to calm her down. "Easy, lady."

"I'm NOT a lady!" she shrieked.

"Well, that's between you and your boyfriend, I'd say, ma'am."

"No! I'm NOT a lady! I'm NOT female! I'm Ojo Rojo!"

"Of the KS-Men?!"

"They massacred us! It was a bloodbath!

"President Savior got hit by the Ovulator! Now he's wheeling around, an
insipid motherly smile plastered on his face, patting his own swollen
belly, making plans for the delivery!

"Monsoon got sucked in by Seargant Dyke! I can tell you that she DOES
have snow-white fur between her legs, and she's up there now, bending
over for and clinging to the dyke!

"Ferret got hit by the Detesticulator, and he's up there beating on the
walls, cursing up a falsetto storm!

"And the Effeminator struck me! And now I'm--  I'm--  I'm like THIS!" he
shrieked again.

"Well, you DO make a busty --  sexy, if I may say so --  woman. Are you
a, uhm, 'she' now, or a very strange 'he'?"

"I don't--  I don't rightly know." Ojo Rojo reached his hand down inside
his thong, gasped, then pulled it out. "They're--  they're GONE!" he
(author's note: make that 'she') sobbed.

"Hey, babe!," Meatier Man called, "You hang around here, sugar-tits. I
may hook up with you after this mission."

This caused another round of sobs from the gender-violated superhero.

"NEXT!" came a booming voice from the building.

"Get the feeling they know we're coming?" Meaty asked Captain Canada.

"Time to make our stand," Captain Canada told Racial Discrimination Man.

"Send in the fodder!" RD-Man barked. The four junior JLA members
half-charged, half-were-pushed towards the building. Racial
Discrimination Man gave a significant cough, and Captain Canada nudged
the Smelly Pit and Kid Testosterone forward. Swallowing hard as a group,
the six charged slowly and dreadfully up the stairs.

                            				  ----------

The six superheroes burst into the large penthouse of the building.

There the four members of the Bobbitt Club stood to take them on.

Schoolbell Boy was the first to strike. He concentrated, hoping to
disperse this congregation with an end-of-schoolday bell, and the ring
started to sound. The Detesticulator immediately fired upon him, and the
sound climbed in pitch until it was the delicate lace tinkling of little
silver Christmas bells. Schoolbell Boy sat down cross-legged and sobbed
into his hands, mourning the loss of his gonads.

The Smelly Pit took his chance to make the next move. Hoping to force
everyone from the area, where they could take on the Bobbitt Club one at
a time instead of as a united front, he parted his shirt and began
fanning his armpits. The Effeminator stepped forward and pointed a hand.
Within moments, all he was getting from his pits was perfumed elegance.
Realizing that he now had a C-cup of boobs, he pulled his shirt closed,
uncomfortable bearing his chest any more. Seargant Dyke yelled, "Boo!",
and he spooked and ran.

Princess Gymnast began doing flips and cartwheels, covering the distance
to the four villains. The Ovulator pointed. Gymnast's flips slowed as
her belly swelled, until she stopped and stood, nine months pregnant.
"Oh! We have to CLEAN this place and get READY for the BABY!" she said,
then squatted and began straining.

"You leave her alone," Hayfever Lad charged forward. You see, he and
Princess Gymnast had a thing going. The Ovulator moved her pointed
finger to aim at him, and he, too, slowed as his belly swelled.

Princess Gymnast grunted, and popped out a foot-long egg. She grabbed it
and positioned it under her ass to keep it warm while she strained to
lay the next one.

"Oh shit, man! She just laid an egg!" Hayfever Lad blurted out in
astonishment, then howled in pain. He clawed his pants off to reveal
that his penis had a huge bulge in it. He strained, and a moment later,
a similar egg popped out of his pecker. "Jesus Christ!" he gasped, but
then the next egg was descending, and he concentrated on passing it.

"Not faring very well!" Seargant Dyke commented loudly.

Kid Testosterone stepped forward, hands on hips. "Let's go," he slowly
said with grit and determination.

The Detesticulator pointed.

"I'm sorry," he said, backing up timidly. "Please just ignore that
squirt of testosterone. I don't know what came over me."

The Detesticulator just smiled.

"Mother of God!" he cried out in his now high-pitched voice. "That's
just MEAN! You're just MEAN PEOPLE!"

The Detesticulator moved her index finger, then pointed it at Kid
Testosterone again.

"No! You're just BRUTES! BAD people! Leave me ALONE!" He turned tail and
ran back down the stairs then.

That left Worry Girl wringing her hands as Seargant Dyke stepped
forward. "Aren't you ... uhm ... feeling a little anxious right about
now?" Worry Girl asked as her powers seemed to be having no effect.

"Oh, I'm sure not as anxious as you. Strip for me, little kitten."

"But-- "

"Strip out of your clothes. Now."

Worry Girl began undressing and didn't stop until she was naked before
Seargant Dyke.

"Beautiful little kitten. Now bend over for me."

"Bend ... OVER?"

"Yeeeessss ..."

Worry Girl turned her back to her opponent, then bent over far at the
waist. "Like this?" Seargant Dyke pressed two fingers up Worry Girl's
stunningly wet hole. "Oh! Yes! YES! EXACTLY like this!" Worry Girl
exclaimed, wriggling her ass against Dyke's hand.

                            				  ----------

Back on the street, the remaining six saw Hayfever Lad come running out
of the building with no pants on.

Captain Canada caught him. "Hold on, Lad. What happened?"

"They slaughtered us! The Smelly Pit has boobs! Kid Testosterone no
longer has any balls! Princess Gymnast is laying eggs! So am-- rrrrght!"
--  an egg fired from his penis at that moment -- " so am I! And Worry
Girl bent over for Seargant Dyke! We lost! We lost miserably!"

Captain Canada let the boy go, and he fled up the street.

"Well, men-- " Captain Canada started.

"That is SEXIST!" Sexual Harassment Woman barked.

"AND women!" the Captain gave her a dirty look. "Let me finish my
statements, please. Well, men and women-- "

"That's SEXIST! It should be 'women and men'!"

Captain Canada scowled and continued. "Looks like it's up to us now."

"Send in the second wave of fodder!" Racial Discrimination Man bellowed.

"That's us," Meatier Man told him.

"Right. You all go in. I'll direct from out here. Good luck, men."

"That is SEX-- !"

"AND women!"

Meatier Man did not like having his statements misconstrued by cowards.
"I said, that's us. Including you, kimosabe."

"That is RACIAL discrimination!" RD-Man sang in front of him, jabbing a
finger.

Meaty glared at him. "Okay, including you, toots."

"That is SEXIST!" SD-Woman sang behind him.

"I don't care WHAT it is! All of us are going in there TOGETHER! Now!"

Captain Canada saw the reluctance in the eyes of the three JLA members,
so spoke up, "For the sake of the wooo-o-o-oorld!"

"Oh, all right," Inappropriate Joke Man said.

"Why don't you three go in, Y-Men, and we'll provide backup," Racial
Discrimination Man said. "My race has been sorely put upon by you and
your kind, and we deserve reparations!"

"What race is that?" Captain Canada inquired.

"That question itself is racial discrimination, man!" RD-Man bellowed.

"Look, you boobs are coming in there with us right now!" Meatier Man
said, his patience at an end.

"That's sexual discrimination!"

"That's inappropriate humor!"

"AND ... it's racial discrimination to deny me my REPARATIONS!"

Well, that track didn't work. Captain Canada tried again. "Hey,
Buttplug. Are your videotape powers rolling now?"

"Yeah, Cap'm!"

"Videotape?" SD-Woman asked.

"Rolling now?" RD-Man asked.

"Yeah, Buttplug was born with the marvelous ability to record events and
then later commit them to videotape. I want him to film this so that
future generations can see us fighting villainy in all our glory."

"In that case," RD-Man said in his best FM radio voice and posed, hands
on hips, "Let us engage the enemy. Onward ho, men!"

"AND women!" SD-Woman declared with a similar stance.

The six senior superheroes marched forward, Meatier Man and Captain
Canada distinguished by their slouched walks compared to the bold,
forceful strides of the JLA members for the imaginary camera.

                            				  ----------

"What took you guys so long?" Seargant Dyke taunted them when they
finally appeared. "Trying desperately to find your missing balls? Hmmm?"

"THAT'S sexual discrimination!" came a voice from the new group.

"Effeminator, the cheeky one has a flat ass and no boobs. Pretty her up
for me, will you?"

"THAT'S sexual discrim--  oooooh!" SD-Woman looked down. "Where'd my
AAA-cups go?!" she asked in her new high-soprano voice.

"I'd say those are nearly C-cups, wouldn't you?"

"Look! This is ENOUGH! Any further, and I call this RAPE! Understand?!"

"Sorry, babe. All my bitches have at least D-cups. Effeminator: again."

"Hey, that's inapprop-- " IJ-Man shut his mouth quickly when Seargant
Dyke's gaze moved to him. "Sorry, Seargant. Don't know what came over
me."

"Oooooh!" SD-Woman moaned, her hands moving to her new huge honies.
"Look! If this goes any further, I call it RAPE! Absolutely!" The Y-Men
noted that her voice was at the upper pitch of the human hearing range.

"I want my honies to have handfuls of mammaries! Effeminator, do her
again!"

Suddenly, SD-Woman was bearing bigger-than-basketball mounds. She began
moving her lips, mouthing the "if this goes any further" line, but no
sound was heard by anyone in the room. In the distance, several dogs
began to howl.

"One more time, Effeminator."

SD-Woman's costume burst, and she was baring bigger-than-
bigger-than-basketball boobs. Her hands couldn't seem to stop squeezing
them, though.

Seargant Dyke walked over to one of the tables covered with fruit bowls
at the side of the room and reached for a bowl of figs and dates.
Picking up a date, she walked towards SD-Woman. "I keep that one bowl
here for just this type of situation. Bend over, bitch!"

SD-Woman bent at the waist, presenting a simpering smile to the seargant
and helpfully peeled the lower half of her costume off.

Seargant Dyke slowly pushed the fruit up SD-Woman's rectum, inserting
her fingers to get it as far up as she could, while her victim wore an
absurd grin on her face and quivered.

"Now, what type of rape would you call that?"

SD-Woman mouthed the words, and, again, dogs howled in the distance.

"Go wait in the corner. I'm gonna fuck with my bitches later."

SD-Woman scurried to the corner, grinning mindlessly and piled in with
the naked black-skinned white-haired Monsoon and the begging Worry Girl.

"Detesticulator. Go."

All the men swallowed nervously, then groped themselves to see who got
the short straw, so to speak.

"Oh, man!" Inappropirate Joke Man whined falsetto. "This is REALLY
inappropriate humor!"

He started to run towards the staircase, not wanting to play in this
game anymore, when Seargant Dyke ordered, "Ovulator!"

"Nooooo!" IJ-Man wailed. Suddenly, he slid down on his butt, and found
himself laying eggs from his now-swollen belly.

"Meaty!" Captain Canada whispered. "Any success yet?"

Meatier Man guiltily dropped the grin from his face. "Sorry," he
whispered back, "I got distracted watching the show." He squeezed his
crotch, looking at the Ovulator and whispered, "Spread and beg, baby."

Seargant Dyke's gaze then landed on RD-Man.

"Don't look in MY direction! This is just RACIAL DISCRIMINATION, man!"

"Discriminating against what race?" the Seargant asked.

"That QUESTION is just RACIAL DISCRIMINATION!"

"Oh, puh-lease. Detesticulator."

RD-Man gasped and groped at his crotch. "My race has been PUT UPON by
you and yours!" he shreiked. "We deserve-- "

"Effeminator."

"--  reparations! You OWE us REPARATIONS! You--  ohmigod!" RD-Man
realized that his new busom was huge!

"What have you DONE to me?!" The dark soprano huge-boobed woman whined.

Meanwhile, behind the Seargant, the Ovulator had sunk to a squat and was
frigging herself. Meatier man squeezed again, looking at the
Effeminator.

"I've got triple-D cups! Triple-E cups! Oh, MAN!"

The Effeminator bit her lip, then sank to a sitting position and began
inserting fingers up her vagina as well. Meatier Man rubbed again,
looking at the scariest of the Club, the Detesticulator.

"Effeminator," Seargant Dyke smiled, enjoying this. "Hit him again."

"No, man, NO!" RD-Man shrieked. "Don't make 'em any BIGGER!"

After a few moments, his boobs had not changed.

RD-Man was squeezing his basketballs, wondering why they weren't
growing. "I said, 'DON'T make them any BIGGER!' I don't know if I could
TAKE it if you made them any BIGGER! DAMN, these feel good!"

Seargant Dyke looked over at the Effeminator and saw what she was doing.
"What are you THINKING OF, you little cunt!" she chastised her.

"YOU, Dyke! I'm thinking of YOU! Unnnghoooh!"

"Oh," the Seargant smiled slightly. "Still! You can't be doing that in
the middle of a fight!"

The Detesticulator stepped forward and whispered something to Seargant
Dyke.

"It's not working on her," Meaty whispered to Captain Canada. "It's not
WORKING!"

"Try the Seargant! She may be mind-controlling the Detesticulator!"

Meaty rubbed again and looked at the butch lesbian.

"Oh, ho!" she said, turning around. "There's gotta be some woman left
inside for that to work, you little pissant! Detesticulator. Do them
all."

Meaty gave up on dominating the Seargant and dove for Inappropriate Joke
man, who looked like a beached whale trying to give birth to large river
rocks.

The Ovulator and Effeminator shook their heads, coming out of the spell.

Meaty grabbed one of the eggs that IJ-Man had laid and hurled it at the
Detesticulator, hitting her in the face.

"Run!" he bellowed.

Buttplug ran for the stairwell they had come up. RD-Man ran for a
service elevator in the back of the room. Captain Canada ran towards
Meaty and IJ-Man.

The Detesticulator wiped the yolk from her face and looked angrilly for
Meatier Man. Another egg hit her in the face, hurled by Captain Canada.

Seargant Dyke ran towards Meaty and Canada, fury in her eyes.

Captain Canada hurled an egg at the floor in front of her while Meaty
hurled another egg at the Detesticulator.

Seargant Dyke's footing went when she hit the yolk on the floor, and she
slid across the room and into a wall, knocking herself out.

Meaty and Canada scampered to the stairwell they had come up while the
Detesticulator wiped the last egg from her face.

As the two heroes fled down the stairs, they heard the footsteps of the
enraged Detesticulator on their heels! They hit the doorway at the
bottom and bolted out into the street.

The Detesticulator banged open the double doors, bellowing like a bull.
Eyeing the two heroes, she started to concentrate.

Suddenly, all of the trash currently in the city condensed on the
villain, covering her under a mountain of garbage jammed in the doorway
of the building.

Meaty and Canada reached the corner of a neighboring building, where
Buttplug was peeking around the corner.

"Thanks, Buttplug," Captain Canada said extremely sincerely,
double-checking to verify that his own goods still really were intact.

"You (pant)-- " Meaty gasped from his sprint. "You did (pant)--  that
(pant)-- Buttplug?"

"I am the Master of Constipations of all kinds," he smiled, "Including
blocking hallways and doorways!"

"Good man!"

"Now, let's get out of here," Canada suggested.

                            				  ----------

The trio dragged themselves up the stairs to Meatier Man's apartment.
When they entered, they heard banging coming from the coat closet.

"Is that?" Canada asked.

"Yep."

"Can I let her out?" Buttplug asked. "She makes really neat sounds of
disgust when she gets angry."

"Sure. Go ahead."

Buttplug flung open the closet door. "Hi, sugar nipples!"

"Don't you 'sugar nipples' me! YOU!" She jabbed an index finger in
Meatier Man's direction. She flared, her whole body turning crimson, as
well as the rug underneath her and the corner of the sofa beside her.

"Sorry. Still nothing. I guess I'm just guiltless."

"You bastard!" she clenched her fists.

"Tell you what, though," Meaty said, pushing his pelvis forward and
cupping himself.

"NO! DON'T!" Her eyes widened, then narrowed. "Don't you DARE!"

"Spread and beg, baby."

"NO! Nnnnngggg!" Her hands came up to cup her boobies through her
costume. "Oh FUCK! You make me sooooo HOT when you do that! I could just
BEG!"

"Why don't you go get us all some beers."

"YES! Baby!" She traipsed to the refrigerator and brought back three
beers, then handed one to each man, bending over as she did so to give
each a nice view down her costume.

"Man, we got our asses WHIPPED!" Meaty complained. "Kid Testosterone now
has no gonads! How silly is THAT irony?! The Smelly Pit is coming out
with his -- or her? --  own line of potpourri!"

"You're right. We lost miserably today."

The three moped in silence while the Crimson Blush caressed Meaty's cock
through his costume. "GOD! This thing is HUGE! How in the world does it
FIT inside me?!"

"It's an extra-dimensional thing."

"Oh."

They drank their beers in silence.

"I think ..." Captain Canada said finally, "That the Destesticulator was
immune to your 'influence' because she is under Seargant Dyke's mental
control. And Seargant Dyke is immune because there's no more woman left
in her."

"Great. That really gets us places. So now what? They detesticulate
every man in the world? So that every woman can serve as one of Dyke's
bitches?"

"I'm starting ... to get an idea."

"Hope it's better than the last one."

"What if ... we trick the Effeminator into blasting Seargant Dyke. That
might make her susceptible to you. And all those that she's controlling
in turn."

Meaty was quiet a minute, then raised his eyebrows, then leaned forward.
"And how do we trick her?"

"Ever ... hear of the Globfather?"

"I think so. Just the name. Super villain, isn't he?"

"Yeah. Came to earth on a meteorite."

"Right down your alley, honey," the Crimson Blush said perkilly.

"No, it isn't. Now keep your mouth shut unless you're sucking on a
cock."

"I thought you'd NEVER ask!" She pulled down the pants of his costume.

"He was a glob on a meteorite. He landed here and took human form. But
he still excretes the stuff to make globs, simulacrums, really. If we do
things just right, we can get Dyke on one side of a glob that has taken
on your form, Effeminator on the other, and have the glob turn back into
a, well, glob when the Effeminator fires. The blast will go through and
hit Dyke."

"Could work, I guess."

"I don't hear any other plans here."

"But, baby ... (slurp) ... you can't ... (slurp) ... consort with
supervillains, can ... (slurp) ... you?"

"Just do what you do best, sugar," Meaty said, pushing her head back
down on his erection. He looked back at Canada. "It's worth a try,"
Meaty admitted.



                  How to Do That Thing With the Horse's Head
                  --- -- -- ---- ----- ---- --- ------- ----


The Crimson Blush walked quickly out of the building and to the car in
which the remaining three Y-Men were sitting.

"I got it!" she smiled through the car window, then opened the door and
got in the back seat with Meatier Man. "The Cloak of Invulnerability."

"And the Shadow Lord didn't mind giving it up to you?" Captain Canada
whistled.

"Oh, baby," she smiled at Meaty, "You would have been SO proud of me.
The whole room was red with embarassment and shame! Maybe the whole
building! He had no choice but to give it up to me! Now, touch your
crotch and say that thing you say."

"Like this?" Meatier Man laid his hand in his lap, but did not flex his
pud, teasing her. "That thing you say."

"No! Make me--	make me BEG! Please!"

"Oh, like this? Spread and beg."

"Nnnngggg! Yes! BABY! EXACTLY like that! Let me suck you! Pleeease!" She
wriggled her hips.

"You mean," Captain Canada asked from the front seat while Buttplug
leered at the hot woman, "You mean she wasn't under your influence? But
she just tricked Shadow Lord out of his magical artifact! The JLA would
disapprove of anything so unrighteous."

Meatier Man looked to the front seat, the pretty woman's head starting
to bob in his lap. "I've been telling you, Captain. The pud gets good to
them after a while. They'll do anything for it. Besides, women don't
like to make decisions. They feel better if a man tells them what they
should be doing. Less stress for them that way. Isn't it, sweetie?"

"Mmmphth (shlupp!)"

"Wow." Captain Canada decided that he needed to rethink women.

                            				  ----------

The vehicle pulled up in front of the Strip Mall, the city's largest
men's club.

"Not that I'm complaining, mind you," Meatier Man commented from the
back seat. "But is there a purpose to going in here, or is it just some
wild entertainment before this suicide plan you've cooked up?"

"We need to catch Guido Scarpacci. He'll lead us to the Globfather. And
he spends more time here than anyplace else."

"Good enough."

The four superheroes entered the strip joint. Meaty and the Crimson
Blush stopped by the bar to get drinks all around, while Captain Canada
and Buttplug walked over to get a table.

A beautful dark-skinned topless big-boobed woman walked past Canada as
he pulled a chair out at a table, causing his eyes to widen in
recognition.

He spun around. "You! You're-- "

"Yes?"

"Didn't you used to be-- "

"I did!"

"But you used to be so-- "

"Boy, I was, wasn't I?! But I'm all better now!"

"But, don't you-- "

"Not any more. Honey, you KNOW I did for a while. But look at me now.

"But you-- "

"Ain't it wonderful!"

"But-- "

"Oh, baby, stripping is what I was BORN for! I SEE that now!"

She lightly tapped him on the nose, smiling. Meaty and the Crimson Blush
walked up then.

"Hey! Racial Discrimination Man!" Meaty greeted the stripper. "Nice
rack!"

"Well, if it isn't the Long Schlong! Thanks baby! These new boobies are
really paying off. And I just LOVE my vagina! We women have it MADE!"

"If I comment on your lovely, dark, exotic nipples there, are you going
to-- "

"Oh, no, baby. I'm PROUD of my skin color NOW! Makes it easier to get
the men to stick their ... you-know ... up my ... mmmm! I'm proud of my
gender now, too, so, please, call me RD-Girl! Is this YOUR table? Here,"
she said, climbing up on top, "Let me give you a free table dance! Just
for my superhero friends!"

"I'm not ...," the Crimson Blush muttered while she, well, blushed. "
I'm really not comfortable with this."

"Oh, sit! Enjoy! We have a hot woman dancing on our table!"

"But she--  she--  she used to be a man. One that I really respected. A
hero of a man. A man that meant--  well, everything that was good and
right and noble in the-- "

Meaty flexed his pud.

"Nnnnng! You're right!" She threw her arms around Meaty's neck. "Fuck
her! Let the slut dance for us. Does she make you HOT, baby? Do you need
me to SERVICE you?"

"Why don't ..." Meaty mused "... why don't you get up there and dance
with her?"

"Noooo ... no, baby. I just want to strip for YOU. Only for you."

Meaty flexed again.

"Whoooo-eee! BABY!" The Crimson Blush stood on her chair and stepped up
on the table. Racial Discrimination Girl groped Crimson's breasts
through her costume while Crimson held her hands behind her head and
pushed her chest out. Soon RD-Girl had Crimson's costume peeled down to
her waist, exposing her bare boobs. The Crimson Blush did away with
RD-Girl's thong, leaving her naked except for her high heels. RD-Girl
then removed Crimson's costume the rest of the way. Soon the two naked
beauties were french kissing and caressing each other wildly, oblivious
to the rest of the room.

"That's him," Captain Canada whispered as a short oily man moved towards
their table, dragging another man along by the collar. "That's Guido."

"You two ladies," Guido said in a raspy voice, ignoring the three
superheroes sitting below them. "You keep your holes juiced up. I'll be
right back after I take care of this punk."

"Wait!" the punk said. "I have a Retaliator!"

"A what?!"

"One of those!" he said, pointing at a television set over the bar.

"Remember," a narrator said as a middle-aged woman, who had been walking
up the street on the screen suddenly keeled over, "Exercise is a
medicine. So before you go walking up the block, get a doctor to write
you a prescription." She struggled, trying to get back up, but could
not. "Not only is it the right thing to do, it's the LAW!" A cop ran up
to the woman, pulled her up off the ground, slapped a pair of handcuffs
on her, then dragged her away. "Brought to you by the Physicians
Alliance for Widespread Dependency on Physicians That Write
Prescriptions. Remember: we dispense prescriptions for manual exercise
over the Internet for only $49.95 per 60 minutes of exercise."

"What the fuck?" Guido furrowed his brow.

"No, not THAT one! THAT one!" The punk jabbed at another screen, also on
the bar.

A young couple stood, his arm around her, while their eight year old
daughter played in front of them. He spoke, "We just feel safer with our
young daughter wearing the Retaliator. If some young punk blows her life
away, he's gonna pay!"

The narrator spoke then in his deep voice, "With his LIFE!"

"Racial Discrimination Man would've had something to say about that
pronoun," Captain Canada muttered. "How do we know the attacker is a
'he'?"

"Yes," the narrator continued, "If little Suzie bites the big one, you
can be guaranteed that everyone in a one block radius --  INCLUDING HER
ATTACKER! will similarly pay WITH HIS LIFE!"

"There's that pronoun again."

"A small lead is connected to an implant in little Suzie. If her heart
should stop beating, it will trigger a small explosive charge, and EVERY
OTHER HEART within a one block radius is GUARANTEED to STOP BEATING as
well! Be safe! Be protected! Protect your children! Your loved ones! If
you can't PREVENT the attacker from killing them, at LEAST you can make
him PAY!"

"That same pron-- "

"You spent too much time with Racial Discrimination Man, didn't you?"

"No. It's just that it implicitly --  and therefore inarguably --
paints men in a bad light, like they're always the attacker."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Captain!"

"Okay. Okay. I'll shut up."

"Good."

"But, still-- "

"Not another word."

"But-- "

"Not one."

"So you have one of them there 'Retaliator' things inside you, do you?"
Guido was asking the punk.

"Yeah! And if you kill me, you're dead too!"

Guido drew his pistol. "What if I don't fucking believe you?! What
then?!"

"Then you'll die a horrible" --  the punk demonstrated with audiovisuals
here, hurling shrapnel of spittle out into a three foot blast arc with
his "b" consonants --  "death! Blown" --  audiovisuals again --  "to
smithereens!"

"Let's ... find ... out ..."

Snapping into action, Buttplug whipped out the Cloak of Invulnerability,
and in the blink of an eye wrapped it around himself, Captain Canada,
the two girls making out on the table, Meatier Man and Guido himself,
though Guido got off one round before Buttplug finished.

WHA-BAM! The whole room caved in.

Shaking his head to dispel the concussive shock, Meaty pulled the Cloak
back from his head. Everyone around was dead, bodies crushed and strewn
everywhere.

"Wow. I gotta get me one of those."

Captain Canada's head emerged next. "No, I don't think that would be a
good idea. See, over in that direction?" He pointed to where a hole had
been blown into the next room over in the Mall. "There will be some
wounded in there that should right about now be-- " he pulled the Cloak
over their heads.

WHA-BAM!

"Expiring now. Of course, next door to them, will be some more wounded,
some of them wearing Retaliators, that in just a few seconds will die
too ..."

Wha-Bam! from a little farther away.

"And next door to them, of course, in just a few more seconds ..."

Wha-Bam, from a little farther away still.

"And so on down the line. We should get out of here before the whole
building collapses."

Wha-bam.

Guido's head popped out from under the Cloak. "Wow. I guess he WASN'T
foolin'."

Whabam.

"We may not have much time." They stood and began moving as a collective
being with twelve legs beneath the Cloak towards the stairwell.

whabam.

Quckly, they moved down the stairs and outside of the building with
barely enough time before the whole place came tumbling down.

"Damn," Guido cursed. "That was my favorite place to hang out."

"We wish," Captain Canada changed the subject and began speaking in a
deliberately hoarse voice, "To speak with the Globfather."

"Yeah? Well, what do you have to offer him?"

"A chance to save the world."

"Yeah? Well, FUCK the world. It can go to hell in a ... I ... uhm ...
ohgod, how could I say such a thing? I--  I'm sorry. Please, I'll take
you to him. We'll convince him to do the right thing."

Captain Canada stared gape-mouthed at the criminal. He sure thought it
would be a lot harder than that!

Meaty noticed a crimson glow around Guido, connected by a thin wisp to
Blush. She gave him a quick reflexive smile when she noticed him looking
at her.

"Where is your car? If the future of the world is at stake, we need to
speak to him at once. I'll take you there!"

The six piled into Captain Canada's car and were at the stronghold of
the Globfather within twenty minutes.

Guido ushered them inside, where a tall man in a dark suit barred the
way. "What do you want with the Glob, Guido?" The tall man coughed out a
handful of feathers, which condensed into a small bird that spoke, "What
makes a little turd like you think he can just waltz right in to see the
big man?!" Then it dissolved back into the feathers, which dissolved
into wisps, then into nothingness.

"These folks need to talk to the big guy, Fowl Mouth. It's about the
future of the world."

The two men stared at each other several moments.

"There's fortunes to be made at the end of times, ducky boy," Guido
pushed, "If you cheat the big guy out of what's his, you won't be around
much longer. Not much longer at all."

Fowl Mouth yielded and stepped to the side to let the group pass.

"You have beautiful eyes," Fowl Mouth spoke softly to the Crimson Blush
as she passed, then he coughed out feathers that congealed and spoke,
"Fuck, bitch, I'd love to ram my piston up your slutty little cylinder
any day of the week!" Then the bird dissolved.

RD-Girl stepped towards the bodyguard. "You got somethin' against black
chicks, baby?"

"No, certainly not, ma'am." Again, the feathers, "I'll stay with the
WHITE meat, black slut! The DARK meat will give you indigestion!"

"Oh! Is that so, lover!" She concentrated several seconds while Fowl
Mouth swallowed hard.

"Hubba hubba hubba ..." he spoke, dazed. Again, the cough and the
feathers, "Once you've (gulp) gone AC you won't ever settle for DC
again! Can I--  can I lick your ass, mistress?"

"Maybe later, honey. First we talk to your boss."

Guido led the group up the hallway and into a large room in the center
of which was a large, round, thousand pound man watching a television.

"This is reporter Kim Ching," the lady on television spoke, "And we are
live at the southwest district of town, where mysterious explosions are
spreading across the community."

The soft wha-bam sounded from behind the pretty oriental reporter.

"There goes another one."

"Captain," Meaty whispered. "That isn't from -- ?"

"Yep. Too many people with the Retaliator installed in them. A chain
reaction, tearing across the city like little explosive dominoes. No
doubt!"

"Wow."

"Police have yet to determine what is causing these, though some have
speculated that a mysterious wave from space is passing through the
region, causing people in its wake to not only spontaneously combust,
but to spontaneously explode!"

"Hey! Hey!" an officer on the television barked at her. "Noone but you
has speculated that!"

"No, SOMEONE else did!" she replied defensively.

"No, no, you and I were talking just a few minutes ago, and you asked,
wouldn't it be weird if this was some mysterious wave from space. I said
that was bullshit, and you stormed off."

Kim turned back to face the camera. "The mysterious wave seems also to
be affecting people's memories and sanity, as you can see from this
crazed police officer."

"I'm not crazed! You quit lying to the public!"

Kim spun around and buried her high heel in his crotch, taking the
officer down. Moments later, three other officers tackled the pretty
reporter.

"Help! Help! I'm being groped! This is SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION!"

"I hope," the Globfather spoke hoarsely, "That this mysterious wave
stays on the far side of town. Could you imagine if I spontaneously
combusted, Guido?"

Dead silence.

"That was a joke, Guido."

"Ha! Yes, sir!"

"Why have you brought these people here to see me?"

"They are afraid the end of the world as we know it may be nigh."

"Nigh, hungh? Pretty exotic word for you, Guido. You been hanging around
with those Thai strippers again?" The Glob turned his head to the rest
of his audience. "Well, what do you people want from me?"

"You are the Globfather," Captain Canada spoke hoarsely.

"I am Tuna Generico ... the Globfather."

"We wish ... to acquire a glob from you so that we can save the world."

"A glob, eh? And what do I get in return?"

Captain Canada nobly raised his hand up high. "You will get to help SAVE
THE WORLD! Help bring JUSTICE to SOCIETY! BRING SAFETY and COMFORT to
the POOR and DOWNTRODDEN of the WORLD! Help establish-- "

"Piss on the world."

The Captain deflated. "Hungh?"

"Piss on the world. What's it ever done for me?"

"But ... it's provided you with the millions of dollars that you have
earned, this huge estate, good health and--  and it's time that you
returned a little of that enormous benefit that you have received!"

"A man in a glowing red bodysuit is going to tell me what I should do?"

"But it's the right thing to-- "

"Be quiet, pansie-tights. I want to make you an offer you can't refuse.
He, he. Leave the white slut with me, and I will give you TWO globs."

Captain Canada did not like dealing with the devil, but this was the
only plan that stood a chance. If one woman had to give up her way of
life to save the world, well ... He looked at Meaty.

"No can do," Meaty said without hesitation.

"He, he. All right," the Globfather chuckled. "What if I throw in
another bonus. Leave the slut, and I will give you two globs AND let you
all out of here alive. How about that?"

"Out of the question. The woman goes with us."

"Why?"

"Meaty, it's okay. I can-- " Crimson started.

Meatier Man ignored her. "It doesn't matter why. Her staying is not an
option."

"Vinnie!" the Globfather bellowed. Fowl Mouth and a dozen other men
barrelled in.

Captain Canada moved into action, a whirl of kicks and fists, attacking
the men to the right.

Buttplug furrowed his brow, and one after another, the six men to the
left shat their breeches.

"Hey, sugar," RD-Girl smiled, then lifted her short skirt to expose her
bare ass.

"Nnnng!" Fowl Mouth whimpered. "Goddam!" the animated bunch of feathers
spoke as he stepped forward and began running his crotch up and down her
ass.

After a few moments, the left side of the room stank as they moaned with
cramps and passed more stinky stuff. The right side of the room was
unconscious. And Fowl Mouth was humping RD-Girl while she stood bent
over and grinned.

"Tell you what," Buttplug boldly strode up to stand in front of the
Round Italian. "If you give us a glob, we'll let YOU live!"

"Wha-- ?! My--	my osmotic pathways! Grrrkkkhh! What are you doing?!"

"Produce the glob!"

"Anything! Here!" He pinched off a glob and slid it across the floor to
Buttplug's feet.

"We are going to leave now. Once we're clear, I will free you to osmose
again. If anything happens to us, though, I'm afraid you'll stay plugged
until you die, which of course with your alien physiology won't take
very long. Understood?"

"Grrrrkkkh!"

"Good." He bent and picked up the glob, RD-Girl disengaged from Fowl
Mouth, then the entire group began backing out.

"Buttplug," Captain Canada muttered as the group scurried out of the
stronghold, "What courage. I didn't know you had it in you."

"A Y-Man's gotta do what a Y-Man's gotta do, Captain."

They reached Captain Canada's Chevy and within 30 minutes were at
Meatier Man's apartment.

                            				  ----------

"Can you answer a question for me?" the Crimson Blush asked Meatier Man
in his bedroom. They had both just walked in there, leaving Captain
Canada on the couch and Buttplug on the floor to rest up before
tomorrow's suicide battle. The glob was in the refrigerator to keep it
from spoiling.

"What's that?" he asked, pulling his pants down.

The Crimson Blush found her eyes drawn towards that enormous member, but
she steeled her will and concentrated. There was something she needed to
find out.

"Why didn't you leave me with the Globfather? Your chances would be a
lot better in tomorrow's battle with two globs. And I don't mean
anything to you."

Meatier Man was silent several moments as he finished undressing and
crawled into bed.

"I mean-- "

"It just wouldn't have been the right thing to do, okay?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just wouldn't." He started to reach for his crotch to
end the discussion.

"You don't need to use that on me."

Meaty stopped. "Hungh?"

"You don't need to use your pud on me tonight. I ... uhm ..." She pulled
her costume off her body and stood there before him, nude. "You don't
need to make me."

"Don't you want-- "

"Yeah," she smiled, "Nothing feels as good as when you flex your pud on
me. But--  but tonight you don't need to use it." She crawled into bed
with him and hugged him lightly.

The two laid there several minutes.

"What do you think your chances are tomorrow?"

"Ah, no problem! I'll whip their asses!"

"No. What do you ... really ... think your chances are?"

Several moments of silence.

"I don't know. We--  I don't know how it's going to go tomorrow. I guess
I'll tell you after the fight."

They laid several more minutes.

"You don't even know my name," the Crimson Blush whispered. "We've done
things with you I never would have DREAMED of doing with ANYONE, and ...
you don't even know what my name is."

"What ..." Meaty whispered, "What is you name, Miss?"

"It's Elinor. Elinor Shame."

Several moments of silence.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She leaned in and kissed him, then began running her hands over his
body. He responded in kind, and soon they were running their hands all
over each other.

"Frances," Meatier Man said slowly.

The Crimson Blush froze in place. "That is ... what?! ... the name of
your old girlfriend?" she asked sharply. "Can't you even keep my name
straight?"

"No ... it's my name. Frances. My dad thought it was funny. I think he
was just jealous of the size of my ... when I was born. So he gave me a
girl's name. I always tell everyone that it's Frank, but it's actually
Frances."

The Crimson Blush, Elinore Shame, laid her head on his chest and the two
held each other. As it turned out, they didn't do any more than that for
the rest of the night, and for some strange reason, Meatier Man did not
mind "the snuggles" on this one particular night.



                              Bobbitt for Apples
                              ------- --- ------


"Nervous?" Captain Canada asked as the five superheroes --  Meaty, the
Captain and Buttplug, Crimson and RD-Girl --  stood outside the Bobbitt
Club headquarters.

"Nervous?" Meatier Man smiled. "HELL, yeah! After this morning, I could
be a ... GIRL!"

"Egads!" Buttplug spat.

"I don't know, I kinda like-- " RD-Girl began, then wisely shut up.

"You do make a fine woman," the Captain reverentially whispered to her
on the side. "A FINE woman!"

"Okay, how do we do this?"

"You need to hold the glob and imagine very clearly what you want it to
do. It will pick up on your mental images and then do what it has seen
you plan for it."

"Good enough," Meaty said, taking the lump of protoplasm from the bag
they had carried it in. Everyone was quiet while he visualized what he
needed it to do.

"Okay. Done." He was startled when the glob began to grow in size, then
take on his own features until a second Meatier Man was standing there
in front of him.

"I can tell the difference," the Crimson Blush spoke softly.

Buttplug frowned. They were perfectly identical to him. "How?"

"I just can."

Captain Canada held the Cloak of Invulnerability out for the real
Meatier Man to pull on. "If everything goes right, they'll mistake you
for the Shadow Lord. That's what we need them to do."

"Understood."

There was a nervous group swallow, then the five heroes and the glob
simulacrum entered the headquarters.

                            				  ----------

"You guys again?!" Seargant Dyke laughed. "I can't commend your
intelligence, but I'm glad to see you. We still have some unfinished
business."

The glob stepped forward. "I would say, 'Lady, you're in for a rude
awakening,' except that you are definitely no lady."

The Seargant laughed. "You're on the money there! Detesticulator. Do
him."

The glob began moving around them towards the right. When the
Detesticulator pointed a finger, he dove. She missed and hit a table,
after which it was a three-legged table.

The glob kept moving around them in a circle. The Detesticulator pointed
again, but the glob dived again. She hit the bowl of figs and dates and
a bowl of cherries sitting on the other table. The stems all
disappeared.

The real Meatier Man focussed his pud on the Effeminator. She was much
harder to affect this time because Seargant Dyke had redoubled her
dominance over her three teammates since last time.

RD-Girl strode up towards the Ovulator. "You're lookin' good, baby!"

"You just stay back!"

"Whatsa matter? Ain't got the taste for the dark meat yet?" Ovulator bit
her lip as RD-Girl slowly raised her microskirt to expose her bare ass
and exerted her new powers.

"Nnnng!" she moaned as she sank to her knees and began licking RD-Girl's
ass.

"What?!" Seargant Dyke complained. "No! You're a lesbian, but not for
HER!"

The Effeminator finally sank to the floor and began playing with
herself.

"No!" Seargant Dyke barked. "Don't DO that, you little CUNT! Hit him!
Hit Meatier Man! Now!"

The Effeminator raised her hand to point a finger as the glob moved
between her and Seargant Dyke.

"Wait for it ... wait for it ..." the real Meatier Man whispered
quietly.

With perfect timing, the glob melted to the floor just as the
Effeminator fired. The force moved over the melting protoplasm and hit
Seargant Dyke. Her flat chest filled out to C-cups, and her hips widened
four inches.

"No!" she shrieked in her now higher-pitched voice.

"Now," Meatier Man bellowed and dropped all but a thread of his power
from the Effeminator and focussed it all on Seargant Dyke.

"NO! NO! NO! Nnnnnggg! GodDAMN!"

Meaty felt her give, and the Seargant's hands came up to cup her new
boobs.

"No! No, it CAN'T feel like this!"

Keeping the bulk of his power still focussed on Dyke, he resurged his
energies towards the Effeminator and shouted, "Hit her again,
Effeminator! Now!"

The Effeminator raised her hand and shot a full blast at Seargant Dyke.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Meatier Man refocussed on Seargant Dyke, finding it much easier this
time to make her yield. Her hands moved from her D-cups to her pussy,
which was now wet for the first time in the supervillain's life.

"Nooooooo!" she whined.

"Again, Effeminator."

The Effeminator hit her again. As Seargant Dyke's lust centered around
her own pussy, her power over the Effeminator weakened. The Effeminator
realized what she had been made to do by the dyke lesbian and her anger
flared.

"Damn you!" she bellowed and hit Seargant Dyke again. And again. And
again. "Damn you!"

Seargant Dyke was so much woman now that she was putty in Meatier Man's
hands. She stripped naked and began playing with herself right in front
of everyone. Crimson made sure that Dyke's shame at being made back into
a woman, at ENJOYING being turned back into a woman, burned within her,
making her wetter still.

The Detesticulator awoke from her months-long haze. She marched over to
the three-legged table holding the fruit bowls and selected an apple,
then walked over to the masturbating lesbian, who was ALL WOMAN now. She
rolled her over on her belly, then pulled on her wide hips until she was
on all fours. "Stupid, idiotic, fucking cunt!" she hissed as she forced
the apple up Seargant Dyke's asshole.

Seargant Dyke bucked in pleasure. "DO me! DO me! Just DO me!" she
chanted pathetically.

The Ovulator pulled her tongue out of RD-Girl's asshole, perplexed at
why it was there in the first place. She stood and looked the busty
superheroine up and down. "Ohgod, you're sexy!" she sighed, then hugged
and clung to the smiling black woman.

Meaty had the Effeminator give Seargant Dyke one more blast. Then he did
the same, knowing that it would have permanent effect on her now that
she had been SO womanized. Dyke just whimpered and begged to be plugged.

Captain Canada and RD-Girl explained to the Effeminator, the Ovulator
and the Detesticulator what had happened to them and what they had done
for the last several months while mind-controlled as part of the Bobbitt
Club. Buttplug had fun poking Seargant Dyke. The Crimson Blush and
Meatier Man began searching the premises.

Blush opened a closet door, and Monsoon, SD-Woman and Worry Girl spilled
out, all lesbianized.

"Ohgod, you have nice gazongas!" Worry Girl exclaimed as she groped and
pulled on Crimson Blush's boobs.

"Ehr, thank you," Crimson told her as she pulled the other woman's hands
off her busom.

"Do you know what happens when lightning dashes up an anus?" Monsoon
said as she pushed her hand up Crimson's skirt and slipped a finger
quickly up her ass.

"Oooh! Stop that!" She managed to pull Monsoon's hand out of her skirt,
but then Worry Girl's paws were back at her boobs.

"Do you want to see my snow white bush?" Monsoon asked, pushing her
pelvis forward. "Isn't it pure and pretty?"

"If you don't eat me out now," SD-Woman told her, "It's sexual
discrimination! After all, you fuck men. You HAVE to fuck women too, or
it's SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION! Now fuck me! FUCK ME!"

Crimson slapped her across the face to get her to calm down.

But it didn't work. "No, baby! Back HERE!" SD-Woman turned around and
cocked out her naked ass. "SLAP me back HERE! I've been a BAAAAAAAD
girl!"

"Meaty!" Crimson finally asked for help.

Meatier Man came over and dropped his pants. Monsoon gave a whimper,
then turned around and started sucking him off. A few moments later,
Worry Girl danced to Meaty, fondling her own bared boobs, not having a
worry in the world.

He looked at SD-Woman, groping both herself and Crimson, pleading for
the other woman to eat her out. "Her, I'm going to leave. This is
actually quite an improvement over her original personality."

"Yeah, you don't have to put up with her feeling you up."

"Oh, let her lick your slit, Elinore. Use her like a warm, versatile
vibrator."

"It's not like I have much choice," Crimson Blush smiled, the other
woman's head buried beneath her skirt. "Oooh! Actually, that DOES feel
good. You have an expert tongue there, girl."



                           All Swelled in End's El
                           --- ------- -- ----- --


The group spent several hours, having sex, looking for survivors, and
having more sex.

Buttplug was having a hell of a time, inserting six apples up Seargant
Dyke's rectum, then watching her quiver and squeal with delight as she
pushed them back out. Then he would push them all back up inside her
again.

Monsoon and Worry Girl were both naked, fondling each other. "Do you
like my pure white snow pussy?" Monsoon asked everyone that passed by.
Then the two women would giggle and resume groping each other. They had
both decided to leave their respective teams and join up with each other
to become the D-Cup Duo. Worry Girl was already designing their topless
costumes.

The Ovulator and Detesticulator both were mourning their lost months
under Dyke's control and grieving over the crimes they had committed,
but then became distracted with the glob, which made the best Big Bob
Dildo Doll either one had ever seen. The three of them --	both women 
and
the glob -- decided to join a Buddhist retreat to masturbate and reflect
on the evils they had done while mind-controlled. Captain Canada
reminded the Detesticulator that she still needed to undetesticulate
Captain Quasar, and she promised to do so.

SD-Woman, still lesbianized, decided to start calling herself SD-Slut,
or maybe EZ-Slut. She ran out of the headquarters into the street and
started yelling at the first woman she came across, an innocent
housewife carrying groceries to her car.

"You! You fuck MEN, don't you?"

"Y- yes, ma'am," the timid woman admitted.

"Then you MUST fuck ME! NOW! You don't want to be GUILTY of SEXUAL
DISCRIMINATION, do you?!"

"N-no ..."

"Then you MUST fuck ME!"

"You--	you're right!" the poor woman gasped, removing her blouse and
bra.

Within moments, the two women were canoodling naked in the open in front
of the grocery store.

A crowd began gathering, and several other women in it were soon
convinced to also not be guilty of sexual discrimination.

Back at the headquarters, Captain Canada and Meatier Man went to talk to
the Effeminator.

"We made quite a complementary team, you and I," Meatier Man said. "You
feminize them, and I seduce their female side. If there's ever another
invincible female villain, we may need to join up."

"We might at that," she smiled.

"As a matter of fact," Captain Canada beamed, "If you're interested, we
would like to extend to you a membership in the Y-Men."

The two men waited several seconds, hoping she would accept.

"Yeah," the Effeminator smiled. "Yes, I would like that. I accept."

"Splendid!" Captain Canada shook her hand. "Welcome to our team."

While the Captain worked out details with their newest member, Meatier
Man walked over to Buttplug, who was delighted with his Seargant Dyke
toy.

"Would you like to keep her?"

Buttplug looked up, a wide smile on his face. "CAN I?"

"Well, somebody needs to watch her. She should be safe now --  she's
permanently horny and mind-mushed. But she could be a target for other
villainous groups that might want to somehow restore her so that she
could wreak havok again. So, if you're willing to watch her, she's
yours."

"COOL!"

The time came when Meaty, Crimson, Canada and RD-Girl found themselves
the last ones in the building. They headed out and locked up.

"Well, do you have any plans from here, RD-Girl?"

"I always got plans, sugar." She cast her eyes down. "I got a few
special ones now, though, that ... well, we'll see."

Meaty raised his brows at the cryptic response.

"Uhm," Cpatain Canada said, "RD-Girl and I are going to try living
together. We'll see how things work out."

"Wow! Well, I wish you both good luck!"

"Yeah," Captain Canada began talking to Meaty as the two women pulled
off and began whispering and giggling, "We're going to give it a try.
She's ... quite a woman."

"And she's getting one hell of a guy, Canada!"

"Thanks, thanks."

"Well, your plan worked, Captain. And the world will be a safe place
again because of it."

"The plan. And your tool. Who else can say their pecker saved the
world?"

"And don't forget your new girlfriend. She was the one that first
successfully distracted Seargant Dyke."

"She's quite a woman, Frank."

Meaty nodded. "That she is, Captain."

"It's Charles. My alter ego is Charles Skrunchwich."

"Thank you. Thank you, Charles."

"How about you? You seem to act a little ... differently ... with
Crimson Blush than I've ever seen you act before."

"I don't know. It's weird. She's--  I mean, I've never known anyone
that-- and she--  she's different. Different than anyone else I've ever
known. I just don't know what's going to happen."

"Confucius say, confusion is good sign in beginning; future bode well."

"We'll see."

The women walked over to their men, and the two couples began saying
good night to each other. Crimson Blush got a naughty smile on her face,
then leaned in to whisper in Meatier Man's ear all the things that she
wanted to do to him tonight.

For the first time in his life ... Meatier Man blushed.

Crimson Blush winked to RD-Girl, who gave a knowing smile back. "Told
ya," RD-Girl mouthed.

The Captain suppressed a chuckle and wrapped up the goodbyes.

Meatier Man and the Crimson Blush walked through the cool night air back
to his apartment, his arm around her waist, talking about many things
that were nothing.

When they got to his apartment, Meatier Man's demeanor suddenly turned
shy. "Would you ... uhm ... like to ... come upstairs?"

"I would love to, Frank."

They retired to his apartment, drank a little wine, then found
themselves kissing. Crimson Blush stood and pulled Meatier Man by the
hand to the bedroom, where they kissed again, slowly removing each
other's clothes until they were both nude before each other.

Crimson pulled on Meaty's erection. "Can you ... guess ... where I'm
going to put this?" she asked mischievously.

"Absolutely ... anywhere ... you want to ..." Meaty gasped.

"How ... about ... my ... ass ... lover ..."

Meaty's eyes widened. "Women ... have always been ... too AFRAID ... to
try that ..."

She wagged a finger at him. "Now you're going to HAVE TO do that
extradimensional thing, understand?"

Meaty nodded enthusiastically.

They positioned themselves and Meaty slowly inserted.

"Oh! I can FEEL you! All SWELLED inside me!"

"In El's end ..."

Very soon, Meaty felt himself reach the brink of climax, and he flexed
his pud for his partner. The Crimson Blush writhed and screamed
underneath him, then they both sang glory in harmony.

Then they held each other the rest of the night and waited to see what
the next day would hold for them ...



.

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