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From: Andrew Roller <roller666@earthlink.net>
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Subject: {ASSM} NND: Grand Opening (4)
Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2001 09:10:04 -0400
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                                        Andrew Roller Presents
                                   NAUGHTY NAKED DREAMGIRLS
                                                       in 
                                              Grand Opening

                                               Chapter Four

         The next morning Cindy was found to have made the requisite
spot and left a bucketfull of herself in the pail to be examined; which
everyone took the liberty of doing, to the girl's mortification as she
was led past them by Veronica to the bathroom.  There Cindy peed anew;
then Veronica drew another bath for her and she got into it.  Veronica
allowed her to take her time sitting down; the girl's bottom would be
scorched enough today without the bath water adding to her tortures. 
Epsom salt was put into the tub, just like last night, and as Cindy
heard men murmuring in the hall she wondered if she had a bottom
anymore, or some roundish very well tenderized piece of meat, split up
the middle for the sake of entertaining the group with her turds. 
Veronica's gentle fingers once again brought the girl to bliss; she was
beginning to enjoy this place very much, however frightful it might be
somewhere beneath this half-civilized veneer.  She had never had such
intense orgasms, and she still had her hymen to boot!
         "It's my job to pee on you today," Veronica informed Cindy at
the end of her bath.  The girl blanched; but after some fine poetic
words about female love she let the woman get into the tub, and stand
over her spread-legged.  As Cindy sat hunched beneath, her eyes squeezed
tight, but her face uplifted and her mouth open, as Veronica insisted,
the woman spread her cuntlips and aimed; as well, anyway, as a woman
can, which isn't very well.  "I want you to open your eyes, dear, and
stick out your tongue," Veronica ordered Cindy.  "When you see me start,
go where I am pissing and get it into your mouth.  It is required; and
good training for catching men's sperm, since they tend to cum all over
the place if there's any distance between your mouth and their cock. 
Ready?  I'm going to let go of myself."
         "Oh shit," Cindy could only say, as she stared up into the
woman's cunt.
         Pissss!  Came the pee suddenly, and the girl did indeed move
her mouth to catch it, doing a fairly good job of it for a girl who had
never let a fellow female piss on her before.  
         "Now swallow," Veronica said.  But Cindy, usually so obedient,
spluttered at hearing the words.  Out came all Veronica's pee, and it
was lost in the bathwater, where Cindy's gasping mouth spilled it.
         "Bad girl!" Veronica said.  She slapped Cindy's face.  Not too
hard, but enough to make the girl start with fright, and tears burst
from her eyes.
         "Boo!  Hoo!  Hoo!"  Cindy cried.  There was a slight red mark
on the cheek of her face where the woman had hit her.  Veronica bent
down immediately and patted the girl's face.  Then she sat in the tub
and kissed her.  Cindy sniffled and stopped crying.  She wiped her nose
with the back of her hand.
         "You are doing well, but you have two mistakes now," Veronica
told Cindy.  The girl looked as if she would break into tears again. 
Veronica stopped her by kissing her lips and then saying, "You are
improving.  Yesterday just the touch of the men's pee in your open mouth
caused you to lose your poise.  But today you took my pee, it is only
when I told you to swallow it that you failed."  She kissed the girl's
cheek and rinsed her with the bathwater.  Then she lifted her up, taking
her by her pretty small hand, and brought her out of the tub, onto the
rich shag rug waiting outside it.  She took a heavy towel and dried the
girl, enjoying the feel of the lovely blonde hair on top of her head,
ending with a brisk rubbing of Cindy's short pussy hair, nearly sending
her into bliss again.  "Let's see what the others are up to," Veronica
said to Cindy.  And she led her out into the living room, where the
group, completely nude and not quite refreshed from an abbreviated
sleep, was planning to go sun bathing.
         "Do not forgot your bottom punishment as you relax in the sun,
Cindy," Robert told the girl as she walked just ahead of him, with
Veronica, out the front of the house and across the sunny grass to a
place where towels had been laid.  Cindy halted in mid-step when Robert
spoke to her; she knew he was there, and furthermore she had giggled at
his cock, for after a night's exertion it was no longer straight and
full of itself, but flaccid and shriveled.  She felt safe from it, at
least for the moment.  Perhaps that was why he chose to scare her with
words, since his penis, like that of the other men's, was presently
incapacitated.  Veronica took Cindy's hand and pulled her forward.  The
girl made an effort to look back at Robert, to assure herself again that
his cock couldn't rob her of her cherry, but Veronica drew her under a
low hanging branch of an apple tree, and she had to dip her head just in
time to avoid it.  To Robert's delight, following behind her, the bowing
of her head to avoid the branch caused her bottom to briefly stick out
more.  Robert admired its curve, its still-childish high placed fat
combined with slender hips.  He loved the sight of her thighs, tanned
lightly, setting off her ass with its virgin whiteness.  He adored her
curving calves, her bare feet.  As she straightened, on the other side
of the branch, he gazed at her erect back before bowing his own head,
and part of his body, to avoid the branch in his turn.  Within a bowery
of apple trees the towels lay, surrounded by the trees and beyond it the
high wall, with the flowers, and the front side of the house.  They
would lay naked here.  Cindy gasped when she saw a riding crop lying on
one of the towels.  And then she was, under the circumstances, surprised
to see something else:  on each towel was a swimsuit.  Some had both a
top and a bottom and some just a top.  They were all bikinis, for the
women, or Speedos for the men, of the very smallest kind.
         "They are to preserve the whiteness of your bottom," Veronica
said.  "So the strokes from your punishment show up better."  Cindy
gasped.  "Veronica explained that the bras served the same purpose, for
the tits present, and that everyone would be wearing swimsuits because
everyone, in the course of their stay, might have to bare themselves to
the seemingly ever-present implement of discipline, the riding crop
lying on one of the towels.  "No one is spared here, unless they are
very lucky.  And then perhaps they would count themselves unlucky if
they were," Veronica added, betraying a knowing smile.  There was genial
laughter.  Robert took the towel with the riding crop, which was right
next to the towel which Cindy was led to by Veronica.  The girl knelt
down on her towel and made to put on her bikini.  It was new, she liked
it despite its tinyness.  "Here, let me help you," Veronica said after a
moment, when Cindy became confused by the strings.  For, indeed, the
swimsuit had more strings than fabric!  It was almost like trying to tie
on a spider web.  The girl managed it at last, however, and she made to
lie down on her towel.  The swatch of fabric covering her bottom went a
little into her ass crack as she moved.  When she was lying flat on her
belly, Veronica pulled it out for her.  She smoothed it across the
cheeks of the girl's behind.
         "One good whack with this would slice a hole right in her
bikini," Robert boasted.  Cindy blanched.  She looked at him, her long
lashes blinking with fright. But Robert was still staring at that part
of herself where he was wishing to aim his crop, and he laughed at how
even the delicately smoothed back of Cindy's bikini, straightened by
Veronica, allowed a good quarter inch of the girl's ass crack to stick
out above the fabric.  He liked the effect; she was clothed but only
very strategically.  The slightest movement threatened to send her tiny
panty-back shooting up again into her ass!  And he liked something else
too:  In his presence, she had forgotten to walk voluptuously.  He told
her of this and her frightened look increased.  Veronica patted the
girl's bare back and said,
         "So many mistakes, Cindy!  But you will have a chance to pay
for them soon.  In a little while, after we have enjoyed the luxury of
lying on the grass in the warm summer sun, a man will come.  I do not
want you to be bashful when he arrives.  We will all strip for him.  He
is a world class executioner-- do not start, my child!"  Veronica put a
hand to the girl's back, keeping her from bolting upright.  In her
stifled movement her panty rear slipped into her ass, showing her naked
cheeks.  "We are all something of amateurs, but he is a professional. 
We will all, men and women, expose to him what we have, lying here on
the grass.  He will take us one by one or he will take us as a group." 
Veronica paused, shivered, her cantaloupe-sized tits quivering in her
tiny bra.  She straightened Cindy's panty back again.  The girl gaped up
at Veronica with fright, her head turned, looking rather like a fawn
flattened by a passing truck out on the dirt road beyond the wall.  "He
will come across the fields, on horseback, taking the road the last half
mile, just like you did," Veronica explained.  "His speciality is
torture.  No bottom is safe from him, male or female.  Innocence will
serve you not at all for he began his career in Saudi Arabia, seeing
that the King's little princesses, all under 12 at the time, were
obedient, despite their brattish English upbringing, to Islamic law." 
Veronica paused, laughed, straightened Cindy's long blonde hair where it
went trailing down her suntanned back.  Then she continued, telling her
more about their coming guest.
         "This man, this executioner, he told us in his letter to us of
his first day with the little princesses.  He told the girls they were
going for a swim.  He asked them to get out of their pretty Western
clothes, which they loved to wear, and they did this, after a little
hesitation, seemingly enjoying the naughtiness of being required to
strip for this man.  He led them through their father's private desert
to an oasis.  It was just a little walk from the castle, early in the
morning, when the sand is still cool.  But just as the girls were ready
to go splashing into the water, he had servants jump out from behind
bushes and grab them.  The servants hauled the girls, kicking and
screaming, past the cool waters of the oasis.  They took them into a
tent.  There, donning a hood, the executioner hit them with a strap,
hard, until their little bottoms longed to be covered, I assure you, in
proper black chadors!"  Robert and several others laughed, listening,
but Cindy only gasped, her bottom cheeks now quivering and the
panty-rear once more slipping into them.  Veronica let the exposure of
the girl's bottom pass this time, unfixed, for she was eager to finish
her tale.  "The executioner was not entirely without generosity,
however," she went on. "Before making the girls get dressed he allowed
them, weeping and with their bare bottoms stinging, to frolic briefly in
the water."
         "I'm sure they were now extremely grateful for that!" Robert
said.
         "Yes, and then he made them return to their parents dressed in
their little black robes," Veronica said.  "They're quite
well-disciplined, he tells us.  They obey their father at the drop of a
hat.  Or hood, in the case of a Saudi king!"
         A woman in a bikini stood up.  She went into the house and came
back out with a pad and pen in her hand.
         "What would you like to drink?" the woman, a beautiful redhead,
asked the guests.  Requests were made, languidly, from the towels.  The
woman nodded, listening, then went inside with another woman and came
back out with what had been requested, bringing it on two heavily-laden
trays.  Cindy asked for a gin and soda, though she only sipped it when
she got it, not used to the taste of alcohol.
         "Tch!  You should drink more than that.  If only as an
anesthetic," Veronica said to Cindy.  She chose a Bloody Mary and
quickly finished it.
         Suddenly, in the distance, the pounding of horse hoofs were
heard.  A chill, worse than any Cindy had ever felt, raced up her
spine.  She realized her panty back was in her ass again and quickly
reached behind herself, still lying on her belly, and yanked it out. 
With frantic hands she smoothed it across her sun-warmed ass. 
         A woman in a bikini got up from her towel.  She went out
through the veil of apple trees, past the thick trunks and under the
apple-laden branches.  She unbolted the gate from the inside and swung
it open.  Cindy, looking fearfully over her shoulder, was amazed at the
slender woman's strength.  For the bolt was heavy, or looked it, and the
gate was at first slow in moving, forcing the woman to strain her lovely
body when she pulled on it, her tits nearly bursting with the effort out
of her tiny bikini top.  The woman did not straighten her top after she
finished.  Instead she reached back and untied it, and then threw it on
the grass.  As she was hastily bending forward, her tits hanging ripe
and naked in front of her, pulling her panties down off her ass and from
out of her clinging cunt and down her legs, a small wind rose up.  It
played with the swim top lying in the grass.  The woman added to the
wind's enjoyment a moment later by discarding her panties next to her
top.  Then she turned, and bent forward.  Offering her ass to the open
gate, spreading her legs as if to pee, but keeping her hands on her
knees, she showed her bare bottom, which was quite lovely to look at, to
a brawny Arab who came rushing through into the yard.  All around Cindy
the other guests took off their swimwear, baring their naked bodies. 
They did not get up, however, but lay on their towels, face down or face
up, according to their preference.  All of them spread their legs, the
men showing their balls and cocks more completely, the women opening
their cunts to the sun and the eyes of the man.  He gazed upon them,
their muscular or slender white bodies.  He gazed at the woman bent over
by the gate too, and he nodded to himself, seemingly pleased with what
he saw.  Then his eyes stopped; he saw Cindy, she was lying face down
with her face buried in her palms.  Her bottom quivered, but it was not
uncovered for him, in fact she had just reached down and fixed her panty
back again!
         The Arab jumped down from his horse.  He had a bare chest,
quite muscular.  He wore purple-colored pantaloons that were tucked into
boots.  The boots were almost knee-high and looked well-worn.  But
anyone glancing in his direction would not have noticed his pants or
boots, or even his chest.  They would have seen instead the bright
scimitar stuck bare-bladed through his sash, and they would, perhaps,
have seen what was in his right hand.  It went blurring outward as he
strode forward; a moment later there was a howl from the bent-over woman
by the gate as her bare ass, so well-displayed, was given a bright red
welt.
         "YooooHOOOO!" the woman by the gate cried.  At once she stood
erect once more, her bare breasts joggling wildly on her chest as her
hands flew back to grab her ass.  Her howl ended in a sniffled gasp;
there was no way to avoid tears from such a fiercely applied stroke as
that!  A second stroke, well-aimed and landing on the first, would
surely have brought blood, but the Arab strode on, forgetting the woman,
and gazed at the array of cocks and cunts and bottoms offered to his
inspection.  Including the bottom which most intrigued him, right at the
moment, one that couldn't be seen owing to its little owner being
disobedient about uncovering herself.
         The Arab walked into the ring of trees, bowing his head to
avoid the punishment of nature's branches.  He pulled out his sword and
swished it idly above the offered cocks.  Men, strong and daring,
flinched beneath him.  he worked his way through the crowd toward
Cindy's little ass, the girl still hiding her eyes, hearing his heavy
tread on the grass.
         "Very good.  You are brave before Allah," the man said to the
men under him, their dicks sticking up in the all-seeing glare of the
sun.  For those few men who were unwilling to offer themselves he had a
ready answer:  a kick in the balls, between their spread legs.  It was
not enough to harm them, he knew just how to do it, but it certainly got
their attention!  Over they rolled, at once, cursing themselves for
having disobeyed his explicit instructions that he had put in his
letter.  Grabbing themselves, they offered freshly stiff cocks to his
scythe-like sword, for no man, facing such dire punishment in this sort
of group, could resist the cock stiffening pleasure of being so utterly
put at risk.
         By now Cindy's curiosity was getting the better of her.  She
could feel the man's presence, so close!  Thinking he might not have
noticed her, despite the foolishness with her bikini, she lifted her
head just a little and turned it.  Good God!  He was looking right at
her!
         "Yeeeeek!" Cindy cried.  She hid her face again, too late!  The
man reached down and grabbed her by the back of her panties.  What was
in her ass crack came out; a moment later the girl was heaved up into
the air, by her little bikini bottoms, her feet wiggling and her arms
flailing.
         "Why aren't you naked?!" the Arab roared.
         "I'm sowwwy!" Cindy cried, tears immediately coming to her eyes
and her hands reaching down to yank on her panties.  To pull them down,
which was quite a stupid thing for her to do now, for as she hastily
tried to yank her panties down she nearly toppled forward and struck her
head in the grass.  It was the Arab who caught her just in time,
dropping his sword, barely missing the torso of Robert who lay naked
next to Cindy, his cock stiff in the sun.  The Arab grabbed Cindy's
blonde hair just before her head would have gone torpedoing into the
grass.  The girl screamed again, though the Arab was dextrous enough to
catch her weight by her hair without yanking it out.  He swung her
upright and grabbed her somewhat more safely around her bare neck.  He
squeezed hard, momentarily cutting her breath off.  He felt her slender
pulsing veins in her neck and knew he could break her head off with just
a jerk, perhaps even an unwanted accidental jerk, of his hand.  Again he
was more gentleman than terror, at least for the moment.  He slipped his
hand down under one of the girl's arms and righted her, planting her
bare feet in the grass.
         "Whew!" Cindy cried, exhaling with blinking fright at what had
just happened to her.  The abruptness of being pulled up, the firm
almost acrobatic way the man had saved her.  Her tits had fallen out of
her bra.  They juddered with her breathing, the tips both wiggling with
nervousness and the pang of sharp excitement.  
         "Finish taking off your panties.  I want you bare for the
whip," the Arab said to Cindy.  The girl quickly complied, her absolute
sense of fright returning.  She stripped off her panties and then went
for her bra.  By this time the Arab had beckoned Veronica to stand up. 
As she did, her own bikini already a little pile of strings on the
grass, she untied the bow at the back of Cindy's bra.  The girl pulled
her bra free of herself and dropped it next to her panties on her
towel.  The Arab picked three more females, from the dozen available to
him.  They stood up, blinking in the sun, their bodies naked and their
most vulnerable and tender parts still white against their tanning limbs
and torsos.
         "You are the first I will torture," the Arab said to the
women.  "You will each tell me any failings you have committed and I
will select the appropriate punishment.  In the house, however, for I
have been riding in the sun and it is hot."  With a wave of his hand he
ordered them in.  They went fearfully at first, buck naked in front of
this stranger, then giggled a little as they saw him coming behind with
a bulge now showing visibly in the front of his trousers.  He ordered
those remaining on the grass to have an orgy.  He told them he wanted to
hear them from inside, and he assured them that they would be able to
hear those that were being punished.  "For inspiration," he said.  
         When he was inside with the women, all of them nervously
holding hands now like little virgin princesses, he spoke to them
again.  "I expect complete honesty from you, ladies," the executioner
said.  "I will punish you as a group, each of you receiving a whip
stroke on your ass for each of your mistakes that you have made so far
while you're here.  Let's begin with you," he said to Cindy.  For a
moment Cindy simply stood between Veronica and another woman, naked
Beth, gaping at the executioner and wondering how on earth she could
bring herself to say what he wished her to.  Veronica and Beth squeezed
Cindy's hands.  She gulped and then, holding back a desperate new urge
to cry, as well as a sudden unwanted desire to pee, she said:
         "I-- I failed to walk voluptuously this morning, in front of
Robert."  Cindy gulped again.  There was silence, and Cindy's eyes
rolled worriedly from the executioner's face to the riding crop he was
holding and back again, stopping inbetween at the frightfully large
bulge that now stood in the front of his trousers.
         "And?" Veronica asked.  Cindy frowned and looked at the woman. 
Then, holding back new tears of fright, quite embarrassed and blushing,
she said,
         "And- and- I wouldn't let some men pee in my mouth.  But then I
let Veronica pee in my mouth!" Cindy hastily added.  There was silence
again, during which time her gaze once more apprized the crop and the
man and his penis.
         "And?" Veronica asked again.
         "I let you... I mean I let her pee in my mouth.  Sir," Cindy
said.  Now it was the executioner's turn to frown.
         "Hmmm," he said, making one eye wince as if he were an Arab
version of Popeye.  "Just a bit slow on the confessional there, my
dearest little one."  Cindy sighed with relief, hearing the way his
sentence ended, so sweetly spoken!  But the man immediately made the
girl shoot up on her toes when he announced, "Four whip strokes on your
ass!"
         Cindy wilted.  The two women's hands she held now kept her
upright as, bending low, nearly falling at the Arab's feet, she howled,
         "Four?!  Four?!"
         "Your fourth mistake was being slow to confess, and your fifth
is to challenge me now.  Five strokes!" the Arab said.
         "NO!" Cindy cried, more frightened now than she'd ever been.
         "Do not send me past SIX!" the Arab roared, and Cindy screamed
"NO!" again, for he meant, as anyone could hear that her No had earned
her another blow from the whip.  But alas, she with this latest "No,"
passed six, and the seventh was not a whip stroke but a punishment of
impalement.  As it would be for any woman so recalcitrant before the
Arab.  Cindy tried to flee.  But Veronica and Beth held her, and the
Arab took her from them, despite her struggling, as easily as some men
pluck the wings off of butterflies.  He led the girl wild-eyed and
frightened to the group's special room for punishments.  The women
followed, pointing the way, half scared and half delighted, for now at
last this little virgin was going to get her due!  Her first whipping,
and at the hands of an expert at that, a man who could break her in two
with a whip if he wished.  Laughingly, their delight now conquering
their own nervous fears, the women helped the Arab tie down Cindy to a
wooden X.  The X was quite wide in both its front and rear.  Cindy found
there was plenty of room for a man to stand in front of her, if he
wished, and use her gasping mouth as a place to stick himself.  Whether
for sperming or (Cindy's heart thumped in her chest at this thought,
despite her "progress" earlier) peeing!  Meanwhile, in back the girl
felt her legs spread so wide by the X's legs that she feared her hymen
would split.  The X lay flat, giving plenty of room in back for a man to
entertain himself there as well.   
         Cindy looked with horror at her surroundings.  She saw cages
and posts and pillories.  She saw an operating room table.  It was all
so terrible to behold, this and much else that her eyes couldn't stop
blinking in disbelief.  the Arab checked her restraints on the X and
then went to select a whip.  There was a whole wall full of them, at the
back of the room.  They were long and short, broad and narrow, plaited
and smooth.  He hung up his riding crop.  He would use it later on more
mature bottoms, that could take the more difficult sting that it
delivered.  "Shall I go easy on her, or hard?" the Arab asked the
women.  They looked up from a slender dildo they were greasing.  They
looked forward to seeing Cindy's cherry bottom split.
         "Hard!" the women cried.  Their bare tits jostled and bounced
off each others' as they leaned in close over the dildo.
         "Then I must select a whip with two tails.  To double her
punishment and make it more memorable for her," the Arab said.
         "NO!" Cindy cried.
         "Sweet Jesus, shut up, or he'll flay you alive!" Veronica
called to the girl.  
         "Get her a gag or her mistakes will kill her," the Arab said.
         "NO!" Cindy cried, still not learning anything.  Everyone had
to laugh at that, except of course Cindy, who was going to have to pay
for it all.  Veronica spotted a pair of used panties lying on the floor;
someone's, from some previous adventure.  Not pausing to consider the
cleanliness of the garment she picked it up and jammed it into Cindy's
mouth.  The girl might swallow a few germs but it would spare her at
least the innermost bit of skin on her ass.  There was grease still on
Veronica's fingers from the dildo as she gagged Cindy.  At the smell of
vaseline Cindy realized the women and the Arab were in earnest about
impaling her.  She increased her struggling but the straps held her fast
to the wooden X.  She was in for a good whipping at last, and at least
the part of her that had amused the crowd with a turd the previous day
would be non-virgin when the Arab was through.
         The Arab was ready to apply the whip.  But Cindy was struggling
so fiercely, despite the tightness of her straps, that he thought
perhaps the panties were somehow gagging her.  After all, if she had a
stuffed nose, with panties wadded in her mouth, she could wind up like
Chandra Levy.  Chandra was too young and beautiful for that and the
Arab, considering the matter for a moment, decided Cindy, who was almost
a decade younger, was surely too young as well.  So he laid down his
whip on the floor and went forward and untied her gag.  But, alas, the
girl's youth should have given away the reason for her intense wiggling
on the X.  It was of course due to fear, rank fear.  But not all of it
was due to fear.
         "I have to pee!" Cindy cried.  The Arab frowned.  It had taken
some work for his burly fingers to undo Veronica's knot.  Now he would
have to gag the girl all over again, unless of course he wanted to hear
her say "NO" some more, and turn her bottom into something that looked
like it had spent the day in a broiler.  With her legs spread, looking
like a turkey waiting to be stuffed, perhaps a broiler was needed, but
in the end the Arab just decided to listen to her "NO's" and not count
them anymore.  To try to stop her screaming he warned her,
         "If you pee, I'll pee on you!"
         "NO!" the poor uneducated girl cried, still not learning
anything at all.
         "I think we're up to about 100 no's now," a woman observed, not
without relish.
         The whip was applied, soundly and without remorse, or with as
little remorse as a 15-year-old child could conjure up in a paid
executioner!  When the Arab was finished, and Cindy's bottom aflame, he
told the women to have at her bottom hole with the dildo.  Again Cindy
cried "NO!".  The Arab warned her not to tighten her asscheeks, and
especially not to say "NO" again, or he would ram the dildo into her
virgin cunt.  This produced the expected response, "NO!"
         And then Cindy peed.  Right on the floor, right as the women
were about to give her the dildo.  This enraged the Arab.  He yanked
down his purple pantaloons and let loose with his cock.  He squirted
Cindy's flaming behind with his ardent urine and the girl, after first
howling at the shock of the hot fluid, began to feel slightly better as
it cooled, wetly, in the air of the room.
         "Damn, I have benefitted her, when I'm supposed to be torturing
her," the Arab said, marvelling at his mistake.
         "Then perhaps it's your ass's turn to be whipped!" the women
cried.


                                           What's in a Name?
                                                 by holy joe


         I have decided to legally change my name.  I am fed up with
this world and how I am being treated.  It's payback time.  No, I'm not
looking to go on a crime spree with my new name, and I already discarded
the possibility of changing my name to "fucking asshole".
         Imagine, if you will, me going into the Department of Motor
Vehicles to get my driver's license renewed.  There sits a big burly cop
behind the registration desk, who has an attitude problem and has been
pulled off the beat.
         "What's your name?" he asks.  (There truly was such a person
waiting for me the last time I renewed.)
         "Boner Boy," I say.
         "What?!"
         It will be a pretty good name.  However if for some reason I
wind up in prison, you can be sure I'll quickly change my name to "Boner
Boy With AIDS".  I always did want one of those George Herbert Walker
Bush four-word names.
         (Incidentally, did you ever think of getting a sex change
operation and then getting sent to a women's prison?  Or how about a
girl's reform school?)
         The actor Timothy Bottoms has an interesting name.  Is that
what they call him on the set?  "Oh, Mr. Bottoms, would you please come
here?  We've gotta do that gay sex scene in our prison film."  I hear he
has a daughter.  He liked the comic book Cherry (as do I), so he named
his daughter Cherry Bottoms.  Unfortunately he named her before she was
born, and his baby's ultrasound got mixed up with that of another
parent's child.  So in fact Timothy didn't have a daughter, but a son. 
The boy is now grown, and wouldn't you know, even though he's straight
his unfortunate luck just keeps rolling along.  He's said to feel
uncomfortable ordering drinks in bars where he lives, in San Francisco. 
Especially when the bartender says, "Let me see your driver's license
son.  Are you of legal age?  Yes, well I guess you are, Mr. Cherry
Bottoms!"
         In my case, I am thinking of a career as well as a name.  I
would like to be a preschool worker.  I'm half Black (my dick), so I'm
always sensitive to discrimination.  Nonetheless I'm going to pursue my
name change, and if it's not going to be "Boner Boy" perhaps it will be
"Mr. Molester."  Just to prove that there's no discrimination in
America.  Or maybe I should change my name to "Spanky".  ("Not your
child's bottom, ma'am, my dick!")
         Imagine being on an airplane and hearing, "This is your pilot
speaking, Mr. Bin Laden."  Could a judge stop you if you really wanted
to change your name to that?  After introducing yourself to the
passengers you could say, "Ooops, I think my Macintosh just bombed. 
Damn, why does it always have to crash?  If it does it again, I'm going
to blow up!  Oh shit, now my battery pack's died."  Then you could tell
the co-pilot to quit passing gas, and complain that the air conditioning
must not be working `cause you're burning up.  Not that the people in
the air traffic control tower would fall for this little bit of humor,
of course.  They'd probably be all hot about it.  Tell them not to get
so fired up.  Then remind the passengers to collapse their tray tables,
and quit smoking.  After all, you've got a plane to fry... I mean, fly!

30

----------------------- Dreamgirls! -----------------------
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     Man/boy love:  http://www.nambla.de  Politics:  http://www.lp.org
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     http://www.aclu.org
-- Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427)
     is copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.  Dreamgirls, Naughty Naked
     Dreamgirls, and NND are registered trademarks of Andrew Roller.
     All rights reserved.
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-- 
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