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Message-ID: <31811asstr$996963003@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Katie McN <katie@katiemcn.com>
Subject: {ASSM} A Letter to Vanessa by Katie McN (ff, Rom, First, RP)
Date: Sat,  4 Aug 2001 18:10:03 -0400
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A Letter to Vanessa

By Katie McN <katie@katiemcn.com>


This is a very personal story If you have
time, drop me a line and let me know what
you think of it. katie@katiemcn.com


---

Vanessa is gone now, but I still think
about her from time to time. It's been a
few years since I wrote her this letter. It
really hurt when we broke up. But, you know
it was best for both of us.

Writing this letter was one of the hardest
things I ever had to do. Thought you might
like to look at it.

Love you,

Mary Kay

___


My Darling Vanessa,

I love you so very much.

I can't imagine us ever being apart for
longer than a few days. Trying to imagine a
time before you is like trying to hold on
to the smoke from an August prairie fire.

You always want to know every little thing
about me. It makes me feel so special. So
loved. I want you to know everything,
too.

I want you to know every secret and share
all of my hidden life.

It's not that I ever want to hold back
anything. I just need to make sure I can
express my secret thoughts and images in
ways you really understand.

I've tried to tell you about my first time,
but I can't seem to conjure up words that
express the pictures printed forever in the
inner most recesses of my memories.

You're gone today and I will miss you until
you get back.

While your gone, I'll try to write the
words I can't say when you look at me with
the most beautiful eyes that any woman ever
gets to see.

If I succeed in painting my feelings on
these pages, I'll give you this letter when
you get home. If I don't, well, I'll try
again some other day.

I was standing on the back porch of our
ranch. I told you about it once. It's a
large old ramblin' place near Big Spring.
The place where my daddy tried to raise the
Santa Gertrudes cattle. Good thing he did a
better job raising oil wells. That's for
sure.

A great big old place. Spent the best years
of my childhood there.

On that special day, I watched a tumble
weed roll slowly across the flat land
behind the big house. Not much to stop it
for another 10 miles or so. It didn't seem
to mind much. Just kept moving along.

Ellen was there with me. You remember her.
She and I were best friends since the
second grade. Been through a lot together.
Hating boys. Loving boys. Not really sure
what to make of any of it. We both got into
horses instead of worrying about things
too much.  My dad was flying his plane over
to Austin that evening. The folks were
heading out to a party the Governor
was putting on after he won reelection.
Quite a time.

Mr. and Mrs. Guthrie, Ellen's folks, were
flying out with them. Just us kids left
here to have a good time.

Used to be a big problem staying alone with
Ellen's three brothers. They are all older
than us. For the longest time, they hated
having girls around. Can't say that I blame
'em really. Daddy's little girl types can
be a pain in the ass I'm sure.

Two things changed all that. First, we kind
of figured out how to act like guys. Pretty
easy really. Just had to be loud, wear
cowboy boots and act stupid. Fit right in,
both of us.

Another thing that kind of helped was how I
was beginning to look.

Not too hard figuring what a girl looks
like when she's wearing nice fitting jeans
and a tailored shirt. Southern girls just
automatically know how to bend over without
breaking their knees. Certainly know how to
point that cute little thing where it will
do the most good. Boys were starting to
appreciate it. Ellen just thought her
brothers were so funny.

Never had a problem with a one of 'em
though. They wouldn't want to have to put
up with Ellen getting all pissed off at
them. Ha ha.

The maid lived in a little house out back.
She left that night as soon as she washed
up the dinner dishes. That's our signal to
start having a good time.

The boys always seemed to have two or three
brand new porno videos for when the folks
were gone. Sure enough, we headed for the
TV room to see the sights.

Randy, Ellen's oldest brother, had his own
car by then.

He'd slipped off earlier in the day and got
a case of long necks. The other boys had
their own ideas about what kind of beer to
get. But, since Randy was buying, we always
ended up with Lone Star no matter what they
said. Didn't care much myself. Neither did
Ellen.

Ellen and I would have one beer each and
make 'em last all night. Didn't really like
drinking beer that much. Just part of the
guy thing and fitting in.

There are certain rituals when you watch a
porn film with the guys. First off, you got
to know how to act.

Just waited for the right spot to holler
out, "Whooeee! Look at the tits on that
one." Yep, that was me.

Ellen would jump in and say something like,
"Boys, don't you wish you were hung like
that guy." Course, they'd all say they were
and ask us if we wanted to see. Kind of
curious, but too smart to say yes. Anyhow,
seen everyone of 'em naked when we'd go
skinny dipping out at Seaford Pond. Didn't
point out that they weren't even close to
that guy on the screen. Not right for a
girl to look you know.

When you live on a ranch, you get to see
fucking all the time. Animals don't give a
shit who watches. Just want to get it on
whenever they get the urge. Got the
fundamentals down at about age five if I
remember right.

Thing that made the porno films interesting
was the other stuff that happened on the
screen.

Never saw a bull get a blow job for
instance. Don't recall seeing three horses
getting it on with each other. Never
noticed two cows doing each other. Lots of
valuable information for our young eyes.

We'd pretend to know everything that was
going on of course. Wouldn't do to let the
boys think they knew more than us. Part
of hanging out with the guys.

Ellen and I couldn't wait to get off by
ourselves to talk about everything we saw
in those films. Interesting sex education
class I'd say.

Boys sure are silly. Funny to wait and see
who got a boner first and how he tried to
hide it. All three of 'em usually got hard
at one point or another.

Ellen and I'd been staying over at each
other's homes for long as I can remember.
Wouldn't seem right if this didn't happen
three or four times a month.

We had our own ways of doing things, too.
First off, we'd hit the shower just before
we got ready for bed.

Mostly we spent our time outdoors and the
West Texas dust just grinds away at a
person.

I'd usually be first. Didn't waste anytime
and came right back to the bedroom. Her
turn next. Ellen would be in and out in a
flash. Both of us all shiny and new.

We'd been wearing big old tee shirts to bed
since we started to get boobs. Trying to
hide the changes in our bodies I guess.

After a while, looking like big girls
stopped bothering us. Kept wearing them big
old shirts out of habit I guess.

We really didn't look alike now that I
think about it. Sure we always tried to
dress the same way. But looks, no, we were
quite different.

Ellen is not a blond like me. She has
auburn hair with enough natural curl in it
that it gets hard to manage on bad weather
days.

My hair is almost straight. It's thick
enough so that it will hold most anyway I
fix it. Never has been much of a problem to
me. Used to make Ellen so mad when she'd
have to work real hard to look good and I'd
just run a brush through my hair and be
ready to go.

By then, I was just 5' 7" and 115 or so
pounds. Ellen weighed about the same, but
she was always a couple inches shorter than
me.

Her extra weight seemed to go to all those
just right places. Ellen's boobs were a
little bigger than mine then. Her butt
looked rounder than my slender cowgirl ass.
Although, must say that I was getting some
notice, too.

I thought she was beautiful and told her so
more than once.

She said the same things to me. Just loved
my best friend.

At the time, we didn't realized just how
beautiful the two of us were. Somehow when
you live with yourself, you get real used
to how you look and how you feel. Doesn't
seem that special really.

Later on you start to understand you're a
little different than some other folks.

No matter how much we'd been together
during the day, we still had secret things
to talk about when we were alone.

That night was stuff like Randy getting a
big old hard on. Laughing about me asking
him a lot of questions while he tried
to hide that thing. Pretending I wasn't
seeing anything. Ha ha.

One of the videos caught both our
attentions.

A little bit of foreplay, kissing and
hugging. Oh sure everyone ended up fucking
their brains out in the end, but there was
a little loving and tenderness for a few
minutes at least. We both agreed it was
kind of nice.

Another thing we found out. Pretty much the
girls did whatever the guys wanted in those
films. But, when there were two girls
together (or three or four depending), they
seemed a little more into each other and
into sharing. Not so much pressure I guess.

By this time we were in Ellen's bed. We
always slept in the same bed when we stayed
over. Always had.

Just her table lamp on that night. Best way
to keep her brothers from pounding on the
door about another film they found or
whatever. Those boys could raise hell all
night. We didn't care as long as they left
us alone.

Never been able to figure out how it all
happened.

We somehow started looking right at each
other. We looked for what seemed like a
real long time. Then I just pushed my face
forward and up and kissed her. A tiny
little kiss, but we both knew it was real.

Now we had been kissing each other since we
were little girls. Didn't mean anything,
just our way.

This time, I was weak. Don't know why.
Something just went all through my body and
I couldn't move. I was afraid, too. What
would Ellen think of that little kiss?

We looked at each other for the longest
time and said nothing. She'd been my friend
for so long she could tell that I was
embarrassed by what I'd done.

Being my friend, she saved me with a kiss
of her own. A nice little kiss, but just
that much longer than mine.

I could hear the sigh come from her mouth.
A tiny little sound that said, "I don't
know what that was, but I do know I like
it." Knew what she was thinking because I
felt the same way, too.

Time went by forever.

My timid arm kind of moved forward toward
her. The moment it touched her shoulder she
grabbed on to me and gave me the
biggest kiss I ever had. Whooee girl! Just
wasn't ready for that.

We held each other and I could feel the
heat coming from our bodies. Our boobs were
pressed together with just a little cloth
separating us.

Somehow her hand ended up on the back of my
neck. I made a sound that told her she
didn't need to stop.

Kind of tailed my hand down her back.
Moving toward the bottom of her tee shirt.
Let my hand wander down below her
shirt till it rested gently on her panties.
My what a nice butt you got there girl.

Trying to make up my mind about what to do
next.

Guess she was doing the same. Her little
tongue just pushed right into my mouth.
Well, I kind of opened up my mouth and
let her get on in, once I realized what she
was up to.

Didn't know she could kiss that good.
Didn't know I would like it that much.
Didn't know. Wow.

Let my hand wander up her back staying
under her tee shirt this trip. Damn did she
feel good. Like rubbing your hand on silk.
Umm.

My idea was just to explore under her shirt
a little bit. Soon as my hand got near her
shoulder blades, her hands went right up
into the air. Ohh. She wanted me to take
her shirt off. Didn't waste a second doing
it either.

Soon as I had her shirt off, she got right
after me. Pulling my shirt over my head
lickety split. Kind of fresh for fourteen
year old girls don't you think?

Funny thing. I'd seen her tits lots of
times before, but they sure looked
different that night. Kind of a daring
mystery.

We fell back on the bed. Our arms were
wrapped around each other real tight. Our
mouths were pressing together real hard.
Nothing but fire and passion.

I felt her hand going down my back.
Wondered what it was going to feel like
having another girl touch my ass.

Didn't have to wait long to find out. She
was very gentle at first. Tentative even.
Just like me I guess. Kind of wondering if
I would mind her checking me out.

When she realized that I liked what she was
doing, felt her hand slip right inside my
little panties. What an interesting
feeling. Yum.

Lifted up my hips so she could pull may
panties down. She had to get under the
covers to finish getting them off.
Ohh a little kiss on my tummy! How very
nice.

I pushed her panties down real slow. Saw
this in the video. Looked real cool and
sensual. Could tell she sure liked it.

Got under the covers to pull off her
panties. Let my tits rub on her legs and
tummy as I came back up to find her. Hot
stuff, huh?

Got very brave then. I kissed her nipple.
Well not too brave. Just a quick kiss
really. We both giggled. But, we
both knew that it wouldn't be too long
before we got real serious about all this.

That next kiss lasted more than a life
time. I felt her climbing up on my leg. I
felt her thrusting herself at me. She was
rocking me back and forth. I kind of pulled
my leg up a little and made it real easy
for her to do what she wanted.

We always got a tiny bit high from our one
long neck a piece. At that minute, felt
like I drank the whole case. Hardly knew
where I was. Only knew that I wanted her
more, more, more. Yes, yes, yes. Ohh fuck.

Until that very minute, the only tits I
ever touched were my own. Hers felt so
good. The sound she made when I slowly
squeezed and rubbed them was so nice to
hear.

Kind of loss track of what I was doing when
she started playing with my boobies.

Knew I could get myself going when I played
with my own titties. Didn't have a clue how
much better it would be with someone else
touching them.

She knew just what to do. Don't know if it
was the video or just stuff she did to
herself. It didn't matter. Could not
believe it. Only one other woman every had
that sane impact when she touches me like
that. And, you know who that is Vanessa.

Sometimes when I'm with you my beautiful
woman, I get this feeling in my chest and
tummy that I just can't explain. Certainly
not in words, no. Feels so good, but no
words. Just electricity, just emotions,
just things too hard to say in words. I
had the same feeling for the first time
that night.

We were laying on our sides. Looking at
each other. Kissing. Touching. Not
believing we were there. Loving it all.
Studying, remembering, feeling the mystical
experiences of the West Texas summer night.

Her hand started down my rib cage moving
toward my hip. By now we both could relax
with the luxury of knowing we had
time to do whatever we wanted. We knew we
would, too.

Her hand moved across my naked hip. My body
wanted to pull her inside me. Her long
fingers slide over my ass and stopped
inside the crack between those two cheeks
you seem to like so much.

She squeezed nice and easy. One finger
moved toward my asshole hole.

What was that sound? Was that me? Oh my!
Damn. Umm.

I fond her hand and guided it down my
stomach toward my pussy. Pushed her hand
into my bush. She grabbed on to me
between my legs and started moving her
whole hand back and forth.

Felt her finger on my clit first. Then she
slide right inside my. I was so wet by
then, it was easy to accommodate her.

She started moving her hand back and forth
with a constant pressure that said that she
knew just what I wanted to feel. She was so
right.

Her finger moved in and out of the flame
that was between my legs. I opened myself
up for her. Seemed like I was as wide as
my thighs. Seemed like I could somehow
swallow her whole.

She had three fingers inside me. Not the
way I did it, but oh my god.

There didn't seem to be an end to it. I
floated off to some place far away from
reality. I could feel tears well up in my
eyes. Happiness was so wonderfully strange.

Her mouth covered mine. Her insistent
tongue entered my mouth searching, probing,
exciting. Her other hand touched my
tits. Rub, squeeze, stroke. Please stop -
don't stop! Oh. Oh. Ohhh.

I had orgasms before.

There was a time that I thought I invented
the orgasm.

But, never anything like this. My body
exploded from high to high.

I couldn't see. An orange explosion hid me
from everything, but the passion that
filled my body.

Waves of sex and warmth. Over, over, over.

Ellen, Ellen. Let me touch you now. Let me
make you feel this good. Let me.

She soon found out what it felt like to
have part of me inside her. My finger moved
relentlessly inside her pussy at a pace
that merged with the movements of her body.

I kissed her breasts, her nipples, her
pretty lips. My finger moved over her face,
cheeks, neck. Yes, oh yes. Touch, touch,
feel, feel. More.

It just seemed to start way down inside of
her somewhere. Exploded to the top with
sounds of pure lust and ecstasy. I was
just a few inches away from her face and
got to watch it all.

She opened her eyes at the peak of her
pleasure. I was getting ready to get off
again. She could see me moving toward a
climax and it just intensified those
strangely wonderful feelings she was
having.

We were like two mirrors making love.
Magnifying our feelings and emotions.
Having feelings that had no names or
descriptions. Not for mortals at least.

We stayed awake for the whole night.
Sometimes just holding each other tightly
in an embrace that could only be understood
by two people who loved each other in a way
that few could understand.

Other times, we were hotter than that old
porno video. We were pretty brave. Nothing
we didn't try. Nothing we didn't love.
Don't think there was one part of her
beautiful body that I didn't touch, kiss,
feel. She didn't miss any part of me
either.

My tongue in her pussy. Her lips on my
nipples. Fingers touching, caressing,
teasing. Lips kissing, sucking, nibbling.
Her tongue in my pussy. My finger on her
asshole.

Did I miss anything? Where are we? What's
next?

Must have come five or six times that
night. Well, no, can't really tell you how
many times. Don't know how often Ellen got
off either. We weren't counting. Didn't
have time really.

We fell asleep when the sun started to peek
up at the eastern sky. Holding each other.
Loving each other so much. Knowing we'd
never forget any of this. Not one bit.

There were other times over the days and
months and years. Funny thing though. No
one ever told us we could be together.
We were still seeing boys. Doing all the
stuff our parents expected of us. Never
just seemed like something we could do.

You met my folks. Guess you can understand
how this might happen. Seems real funny now
in a sad kind of way.

Ellen and I never really got together like
us my darling Vannie. But she and I shared
something special. Something I've never be
able to forget.

She's living over in Lubbock now with
Charles Frederick. They make a lovely
couple, don't they? Never was a question
that I'd be her maid of honor. We both
cried at her wedding for more reasons than
most people know.

For a long time, I'd thought that special
day from long ago changed me. Now I realize
that I only found out what I was all along.


Ellen didn't change much either. We were
just a little bit different. We still love
each other like two sisters who are very
best friends. Always will I guess.

I owe you so much. You let me know that it
was all right to be my own person. You made
me feel love in a way that let me be
just what I am. I wasn't raised to wear my
feelings on my arm. You dragged each little
emotion out of me. Showed them to me
like they were jewels and told me that you
loved each and every one.

Just love being your baby and being loved
by the most wonderful woman I could ever
know.

I love you,

Mary Kay

---

By Katie McN <katie@katiemcn.com>

Please let me know what you think of my
story. Katie@KatieMcN.Com

Get the rest of my stories and find out all
about me at my home
page:

www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Katie_McN/www/



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