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Message-ID: <28642asstr$980892602@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Maria1971@aol.com
Subject: {ASSM} RP Beside Myself - Maria Gonzales 
Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2001 17:10:02 -0500
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<1st attachment, "Beside_Myself.txt" begin>

If you aren't 18, or 21 if you live in a backwards
place, then go away : )

This story is copyrighted by the writer formerly known
as Maria Gonzales, AKA M-Go. Copyright 2001. Send me an
E-mail at Maria1971@aol.com and/or visit my web site
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/MariaGonzales/www

Beside Myself
by Maria Gonzales

Copyright 1999 - All Rights Reserved. Any use of this 
work without the author's written permission is 
strictly forbidden.

I'd been in the United States for almost a year, living 
with my uncle and his extended family.  There were a 
total of eighteen people living in a three bedroom 
house.  Looking back, it's amazing that I ever got a 
moment to myself.

I didn't have much of a bedroom -- in fact, before it 
became my room, it was actually an entrance to the 
house from the backyard.  It was only four feet wide 
and about seven feet long.  My cot took up most of the 
space, and my clothes were hung across a rod near the 
door to the outside.  I had bought a full length mirror 
at a garage sale, using a little of the money that I 
saved for myself.

I was working sixteen hour days at the dry cleaners, 
pressing shirts.  With the three hundred dollars that I 
made a week, I took out twenty dollars for rent and 
forty dollars for food, and tried to send the rest to 
my parents back in Mexico.  I would occasionally buy 
some clothes and other stuff, but I tried to send at 
least two hundred dollars to my parents every week.  I 
was the only one in the United States, and the only one 
making money.

The only thing that I had bought that I didn't actually 
need was a little radio.  As I lay back on my bed, I 
let myself daydream about my family.  I really needed 
my mother, I missed her so much.  Whenever I thought of 
her, my eyes would fill with tears and I had to use all 
of my strength not to fall apart.  It was only during 
these times when I was alone in my bedroom, that I 
would let my feelings out.  The loneliness and the 
sadness I felt without my family was almost unbearable 
at times.

I was seventeen years old, and from what everybody told 
me, a very attractive young woman.  I had lots of men 
asking me to go out with them, but I never had the 
time, I was always working.  I went dancing with some 
of my friends once a month, but apart from that, I 
spent most of my time alone in my room.

Even though I was seventeen, I was still very innocent. 
My father had been very strict and jealous, even if he 
found me talking to a young man, he would ground me.  
Here in the States, with my parents in Mexico, it was 
even worse.  My uncles wouldn't let me do anything, not 
even go to the park with my friends. As far as they 
were concerned, my father left me in their care, and if 
anything happened to me, it would be their fault.

I had tried to point out that I was no longer a child, 
but in their macho way of thinking, that was the 
problem.  I wasn't a girl anymore, but a young woman -- 
an attractive young woman.  Sometimes my uncles would 
even tell me to change clothes, that what I had on was 
too revealing.  Even my father never told me that.  As 
a stubborn teenager, I usually stayed by myself, rather 
than change into something to please my uncles.

As I listened to the radio, I wondered if my life would 
ever get any better.  I looked at everything that I 
owned, a rack half full of clothes, three dresses, two 
skirts, five tops and three pants.  A clock radio and 
three pairs of shoes, a pair of heels for when I went 
out, a pair of boots that I always wore with jeans, and 
a pair of tennis shoes for work.

I turned off the radio at ten o'clock, and listened as 
the last of the people in the house went to bed.  
Turning off my light, I closed my eyes and tried to 
sleep, again thinking sadly about my family so far 
away.

After about fifteen minutes of tossing and turning, I 
heard a knock on the door.  Somebody was at the back 
door of the house, which was my room.  I wondered for a 
few minutes if I should answer it, but the knocking 
grew slightly louder, and I heard a mumbled female 
voice.

I turned on the light, and put my ear to the door.  
"Maria, open the door, it's me." I heard a voice from 
outside say.

"Who's me? I asked.

"I'm you, or you're me.  Just open the door, I'll 
explain everything."

"I can't open the door.  I don't know who you are."

"I can't believe I was ever so paranoid.  Listen, 
Maria.  I'm you, Maria Gonzales, only I'm Maria 
Gonzales from the year 1999, not the Maria Gonzales 
from 1988."

"Okay.  You're me... from 1999.  This is weird, you're 
weird.  I'm getting my Uncle."

"No.  Listen.  I really am you.   I can prove it to 
you."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"Um.  I can name everybody in your, I mean our family.  
Uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters, anybody."

"So.  That wouldn't prove anything."

"Okay.  Hidden in the hem of the black dress is all of 
your money. Underneath the radio is where you keep your 
fake immigration papers.  You own two bras, both of 
them 34C, two black dresses, one short and the other 
even shorter."

"Okay, this isn't funny anymore.  Who are you really?"

"Listen.  I already told you.  I'm Maria Gonzales.  The 
future Maria Gonzales, let me in, I want to talk to 
you."

"Why can't I believe you?  Time travel isn't possible 
except in bad movies."

"And bad fiction, but I really am who I say.  I know 
how to prove it... I , I mean you, I mean we have a 
mole, between our legs, right next to the lips of...."

" Callate ! How do you know that?" I yelled in a loud 
whisper.  "Who else would know but you, and me, I mean 
us."

"I can't open this door. Tio Armando had it nailed 
shut."

"Yeah right, and you took the nails out the weekend 
after he did it.  I have no idea why though, it's not 
like you ever sneak out.  Let me in, I want to talk to 
you."

"How do you know all of this about me and what I did 
and what..."

"I told you.  I'm you.  Just open the door, look at me 
and you'll see yourself."

"I shouldn't do this, but I will." I opened the door 
slightly and peered into the darkness.  I saw an older 
woman, about my height but at least twenty ponds 
heavier than me.

"Hi Maria." the woman said with a smile.

"Hi." I answered anxiously.

"Let me in. I can explain everything."

I heard my own voice respond, but it seemed different, 
older somehow." the woman approached the door, and I 
looked at the face.  She was me, the face was a little 
rounder, the hair shorter, but it definitely was me.

"Can I come into my room?" she giggled.

I opened the door wider and she entered the room.

"It's even smaller than I remember it being." the woman 
reached out her hand, and I reached hesitantly for it.  
"Nice to meet you, Maria."

"Um, me too, I guess."  I said as I inspected her.  I 
have always realized that I wouldn't be thin forever.  
On my father's side of our family, all of the women are 
skinny, but very flat chested.  On my mother's side of 
the family, most of the women are full figured and very 
busty.  When I graduated from an A cup to a B, and then 
to a C, I knew that it would be hard for me to remain 
thin my entire life, especially since I wanted to have 
kids, lots of them.

The woman looked at me, and it was like she read my 
mind, "Yes, I'm, we're, you're, I'm fat, huh, and our 
boobs have gotten bigger too, having four kids does 
that.  Close the door, it's chilly out there."

I closed the door and watched as the woman sat on my 
bed.  "Okay," I said, "if you really are me, prove it.  
And why are you dressed so funny?  Why the baggy 
pants?"

She looked at her clothes and smiled, "It's what we 
wear in the future. It's a fashion statement." she said 
with a laugh .  "Come over here on the bed next to me 
and I'll prove that I am you." she said patting the bed 
next to her.

I shrugged my shoulders and sat next to her, she 
brought her right arm across her body, and placed it 
next to mine.  "See, we have all the same moles and 
birthmarks.  Do you need to see more?"

I remembered that she knew about the birthmark between 
my legs and nodded my head no.  "I guess that's 
enough."

"Listen, I could go on and on, not only about physical 
stuff, but secrets that only you know about.  Like how 
you have always wanted to suckle on a woman's breasts."

"I do not want to do that!" I protested.

"Yes you do, and you know it."

I looked at her, my face turning red with 
embarrassment.  "Okay, I get the point.  You are me, 
ten years from now."

"Eleven, but close enough.  I'm not supposed to tell 
you anything about your, my, our future, but I guess I 
already blew that by telling you about the four kids.  
But I'm not supposed to tell you who your future 
husband is or anything like that."

I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face, "Then 
why are you here?"

This time, her face turned red, then she pursed her 
lips and continued, "This is weird, I'm embarrassed to 
tell myself something. I don't want to tell you 
anything, well... I guess I do, but I don't exactly 
know how to say it."

"Say what?"

"I mean, I know we are... you are seventeen years old, 
but you're too innocent, and I don't want us to miss 
out on something, I mean..." she pounded her head 
softly with the palm of her hand and nodded her head.  
"Sorry, I'm having a little trouble with verb tenses.  
I want to tell you... I can't believe it, I'm 
embarrassed to say it." she paused for a second, looked 
me in the eyes and continued, "Sex.  I want you to know 
how much fun it is and how good it feels."

"Sex?" I asked blushing.

"Yeah, sex." she answered with a smile. "And don't get 
all shy on me now."

"I don't want to know anything about it.  I'm saving 
myself for when I get married." I answered hesitantly

"The honeymoon is going to be great." she said with a 
smile, "but I don't mean with another person, but if 
you want to do that, your future husband won't care 
anyway, but I mean what you can do by yourself."

"By myself?" I asked, "Don't you need two people for 
sex... a man and a woman?"

"Well, not always.  In bad erotica, a forty year old 
balding man can do it with ten teenage cheerleaders and 
his nubile wife, but that's fiction, not real life, in 
real life a forty year old man is lucky enough to get 
laid once a week by his wife." she giggled a few 
seconds and continued, "A man and a woman can do it, so 
can two men for that matter, two women..."

"I am not gay!" I protested.

"I didn't say that we... you were, we're just curious.  
Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that.  I want to 
show you what you can do by yourself."

"By myself?  I don't think I want to know this."

"Trust me, you do."

"Why do you think I want to know?"

"Because I'm you.  And I wished I had known about it.  
I wished I had known a few other things too, but I 
can't tell you about that stuff.  I had a hard enough 
time convincing the leprechaun to let me do this.

"Leprechaun?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, but never mind about that for now.  You'll know 
all about it in eleven years.  Take of your clothes."

"What!"

"It's okay, I've seen you naked before." she giggled. 
"If you want, I'll turn around while you strip and get 
under the blanket.  Would that make you feel more 
comfortable?"

"No." I answered.

"Okay, I guess I forgot how shy I was.  This is going 
to be harder than I thought."

"I am not shy."

"Yes you are.  In a few years you won't be shy anymore.  
I'm going to turn around and close my eyes, when I turn 
around, I want you in the bed, under the blanket 
completely naked.  Or I'll tell Tio Armando about what 
you do at work with Chuck."

"I don't do anything with him." I objected.

"Not enough, but I know what you two do, downstairs at 
the cleaners." she said as she turned toward the wall 
and closed her eyes.

"We're just playing around." I protested.

"Yes.  I know.  Start taking off your clothes or 
everybody will know about it."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me.  I'm going to count to five. Uno .

"I can't."

"Dos ."

I pulled my T-shirt over my head.  "Completely naked?"

" Tres .  Yes, completely naked." she said.

I pulled off my pants.  " Cuatro ." she continued to 
count.  I quickly slid off my bra and panties and laid 
on my bed, pulling the blanket to my neck."

" Cinco ." she said.  Turning around, she looked at my 
clothes piled on the floor.

"I've thought about this for a while," she said as she 
pulled off her top.  "As far as I can see, what might 
happen is some weird sort of masturbation that can only 
happen in bad sex stories."  She pulled off her pants 
and top, then stripped off her bra and panties. I 
really didn't understand what she was talking about.  I 
guessed that I was going to become eccentric as I grew 
older.

I looked at her nude body, the breasts were fuller and 
rounder than mine were, the nipples seemed to be bigger 
too.  All of her seemed to be a slightly larger version 
of me.

"I know, I'm fat.  We're fat.  Remember to exercise 
more." she pulled the blanket up, and slid into the bed 
next to me.   Pulling the blanket to her rib cage, she 
kept her breasts uncovered.  I tried not to look at 
them, instead trying to stare at the wall and the 
ceiling, but every time I looked at her, my eyes were 
drawn to her bare breasts.

"Okay.  Now I want you to touch yourself, softly, 
gently." she said with a soft smile.

"Where?" I asked.  There was something about the way 
she said it that convinced me that she was the future.  
I was now convinced that either she was the future 
Maria Gonzales, or I was having a very strange dream.  
Either way, I was convinced that I could trust her.

Her hands moved to her breasts, and she pinched her 
nipple softly between her fingers.  "Just do what I do.  
Start here."

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"It's wrong.  It's dirty.  Good girls don't do anything 
like this." I answered wrinkling my nose.

"No it's not.  Trust me.  I went through a lot of 
trouble to set this meeting up.  At least you can 
listen to what I have to say."

"I am listening."

"I know, but trust me.  Do what I tell you to do.  
You're going to love it."

"I am?" I answered with a confused look on my face.

"Yes.  Or do you want me to do it for you?"

"No." I answered as I pulled the blanket closer to me.

Her fingers softly played with her nipple, and 
underneath the blanket, I moved my hand to my breast 
and did the same with my right nipple.  It instantly 
responded to my touch and hardened.

"How does that feel?" she asked.

"Good, I guess." I answered hesitantly.

"Just wait, it gets better."  she slid the blanket off 
herself, exposing her entire body to me.  "Do what I 
do."

While her hand continued to play with her nipple, she 
moved her other hand slowly down the front of her body.  
Opening her legs slightly, she softly rubbed her 
fingers along her pussy lips.  "It feels really good 
like this. Everything is really soft.  Are you doing 
it?"

"No." I answered as my eyes tried not to look at her 
nude body.

"Just try it. I promise it's not bad and I promise it 
won't hurt."

I slowly slid my fingers between my legs, and ran my 
finger along my slit, just as she was doing.

"See, it feels good.  Close your eyes."

I closed my eyes and continued to slide my finger up 
and down softly along my lips.

"Think about how you feel when you wear something sexy 
and you catch somebody looking at you.  Think about 
that while you continue to tease yourself.  Still feel 
good?"

"Yeah."

"OK, now press just a little harder." she told me.

"Okay."

"Still feel good?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, now slide your finger between the lips.  Are you 
doing that?"

I did as she asked, and was surprised to find how wet I 
was. "Yes, it's all wet."

"That's okay, it's normal.  How's it feel?"

"Good."

"See.  I told you.  Okay, slide your finger up just a 
little bit, do you feel a little thing there, something 
a little hard, a little piece of skin?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, press against that a little, but not too hard.  
How's that feel?"

"It tickles a little."

"Okay." she pulled the blanket slowly off me.  When I 
didn't protest, her hand felt my breast, "We had even 
nicer tits than I remember."  Her hand moved down my 
stomach and she said, "Let me help you a second." I saw 
her fingers reach between my legs and I moved away.

"Trust me.  I'm you, remember.  Relax.  Has anything 
bad happened yet?"

"No." I admitted.

She moved her hand back between my legs, and I fought 
the urge to stop her. With both fingers, she opened my 
pussy lips, and with an expert touch, she rubbed the 
hard piece of flesh on the top of my pussy.  "How's 
that feel? Good?"

"Uh-huh." I answered.

"Okay, you do it to yourself for a while."

I moved my hand back down, replacing her fingers with 
my own.  I rubbed myself softly, and I could feel 
something strange building inside me.

"Wait, rub it here, like this." she moved the skin away 
from the little bump of flesh, and let me touch it with 
my finger.  I felt a little wave of electricity run 
through me and I heard myself sigh softy.  I opened my 
eyes to look at her, and she was on her back, doing the 
same thing to herself that I was.  She smiled at me and 
said, "See.  Feels good, doesn't it?"

I nodded my head up and down, and continued to rub my 
finger on the little knob.

"You're rubbing your clitoris.  That's what it's 
called.  Together, we're rubbing our clitorides." she 
said with a giggle.

She started to rub herself harder, and her hips started 
to rise off the bed, as a little moan escaped her 
throat.  She looked at me and smiled again, and I 
watched as her breasts jiggled with her movements.  
Another soft moan escaped her lips, then a grunt that 
she couldn't quite keep silent.  Her fingers rubbed 
herself faster and harder, occasionally she would let 
one finger slide between her lips, pushing it inside 
her wet pussy.

I could feel the heat from her body, it almost looked 
like she was trying to move away from her hands, yet 
she rubbed herself harder.  With one more groan, she 
closed her eyes and stopped rubbing.

Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and with a 
satisfied smile looked contentedly at me.  "Go ahead.  
It feels great.  Close your eyes and just do what feels 
good."

I closed my eyes again, and rubbed my clitoris softly.  
The look of ecstasy on her face was locked in my head.  
The way her breasts bounced, the way she moved her 
hips.  My fingers moved faster, and I could feel 
something start to happen. The faster my fingers moved, 
the stronger the feeling became.  Wanting to make that 
feeling stronger, I moved both hands between my legs, 
and rubbed the wetness between my lips with one hand, 
and with the other I continued to rub my clitoris.

The feeling grew stronger and stronger, and I lost my 
breath.  A little moan escaped from my lips, and I felt 
her lips gently kiss my nipples.  Moving my fingers 
faster, I heard myself groan and scared at what I was 
feeling, I forced my fingers from between my legs.

As I did, I felt her fingers replace mine, and as she 
nibbled on my breast, her fingers rubbed my pussy.  
Lost in the feeling, I pushed myself harder against 
her, and felt one finger slide gently between my pussy 
lips.  I pushed against her harder, and I heard a moan 
escape from my throat.

I couldn't take anymore, as good as it felt, I couldn't 
continue, and I forced myself away from her.  She slid 
next to me, and held me in her arms, her breasts 
pressed against mine.  I opened my eyes to look at her, 
and found her smiling softly at me.  "See.  It felt 
good.  Didn't it?"

I nodded my head, and she held me tighter to her.  She 
slid up a little, and pulled me to her.  Her bare 
breast was now inches from my face, and I looked at it, 
wanting to touch it.

"Go ahead." she said.

I looked up at her, and she placed her hand on my head, 
gently guiding me to her breast.  My lips reached her 
nipple, and I softly placed it between my lips.

I pushed it further into my mouth and softly suckled 
it. She sighed and I felt her hand start to rub my back 
gently.  Suddenly she removed her hands from my back, 
and sat up quickly, pulling her nipple from my mouth.  
"I don't want to, but I really have to go.  I have a 
train to catch." she explained.

I watched as she stood and started to dress.

"It's a long story, I don't have time to explain 
everything right now. Just remember what we did 
tonight.  There's nothing wrong with it.  Everybody 
does it.  Keep teasing the guys, don't let our uncles 
control you.  Have fun, there isn't anything wrong with 
sex.  It's even better with somebody else.  Just be 
careful and use protection.  I mean, don't fuck every 
guy you see, but there isn't any harm in fucking, as 
long as you remember to protect yourself, and your 
future husband will love to hear about your adventures.

"My adventures?" I asked puzzled.

"Yeah, your adventures.  Trust me, enjoy yourself.  And 
go ahead and make a move with Mari, she feels the same 
as you do.  It will be a neat experience. If you don't 
do it, you'll look back someday and wonder what if."

"But..."

"And don't work so hard.  Well, at least take some time 
and have some fun, I know mom and dad need the money."

"But..."

"Listen, I would love to stay longer, but I have to 
catch this stupid train." she said as she opened the 
door.  The cool air spilled into the room, and the 
breeze reminded me of my nakedness.

I stood and approached her.  She looked at me, smiled 
and kissed me softly on the forehead.  "I'll know in a 
few minutes when I return to the future if you lived 
any adventures, and if you didn't, I'll be pretty 
pissed at you, me, us. Trust me, you'll be happier."

She closed the door behind her, and I looked out my 
window and saw her board a train.  Through the windows 
of the train, I saw a bunch of faces looking back at 
me.  Remembering that I was naked, I moved my body away 
from my window, and watched as the future me sat down 
and looked out at me.  With one last smile, she winked 
at me as the train pulled away into nothingness.

I closed the drapes and crawled back into bed.  Before 
I fell asleep, I rubbed myself to orgasm one more time.  
When I awoke the next morning, I looked at the time, 
convinced that I had a very realistic dream. Atop my 
radio, I saw a little foil packet and a note.  I 
grabbed the packet and read the label, "Trojan (C) TM 
Ribbed Condom".  Opening the note, I read the words, "
Copyright 1999 --Maria Gonzales."

END


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