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From: artie <artie@netgate.net>
Subject: {ASSM} (REV) <*> "Risk and Reward" by artie (MF, SciFi)
Date: Sun,  8 Oct 2000 08:10:06 -0400
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Risk and Reward

(C) Copyright 2000 by artie@netgate.net

This work may not be reposted or redistributed without the prior
express written permission of the author.

A work of fiction, meant for adults.  Read something else if you are
not an adult, or are offended by stories with sexual content.  Then
again, if all you're looking for is in-out, in-out, in-out, you
should probably read something else.  I welcome constructive
comments.  Enjoy.

	I write this in the custom of our Guild, as a record and as a
warning, but not as advice.

	It was the year the planet New Haven was opened for
settlement.  Some reckon it as the tenth year of the Third Age of
Space, and others as the third year of the Diaspora.

	I received the interruption while dealing with a matter which
should have been handled by a subordinate.

	The House running the New Haven immigration Lottery was
contacting us for permission to send my niece and her husband notice
of their acceptance.

	I was surprised, but pleased -- I had not known they had
applied to the Lottery.  My niece was a Leader in her own right, and
could have made application to be a resident Manager for our House on
New Haven; we were one of the major developers, after all.  But, she
applied, as did many others, to the Lottery.

	The Lottery was established to help populate new worlds.  A
new world needed skills, positions.  A new world also needed genetic
diversity -- raw material.  Those with skills, with position, could
pay the price of passage, a price entitling them to go, and to
return.  Those who had only hope applied to the Lottery.  They were
evaluated, and selections made.  While those so chosen paid nothing
for passage, it was for them a one-way trip -- the ultimate price.

	I knew my niece and her husband.  They were excellent in all
categories -- genetically, mentally, spiritually.  She was a Leader
in her own right.  He was skilled as well, as a doctor, as a
scientist, as an artist.  By applying to the Lottery, they clearly
indicated their dedication to the life ahead.

	I called my niece.  Her image appeared in front of me.  "My
Lady," she said in surprise.  "How may I serve you?"

	I smiled.  "Your application to the Lottery has been accepted."

	I watched emotions sweep through her face.  Finally, she
said, "Thank you, My Lady."

	I nodded.  "Aunt Catherine, please.  Why, dear?"

	She smiled.  "We want to build a new world."

	I nodded again.  "But you are building a new world.  You've
helped build several."  As the Leader of one of our subsidiary
Houses, she ran businesses that built worlds.

	She nodded, and her smile deepened.  I sensed her resolve.
"My Lady, Aunt Catherine, we will build this world with our bodies,
our seed, our souls."

	I was pleased with her response -- she said much, in few
words.  "I understand.  You have my blessing."

	She bowed.  I could feel her pride.  "Thank you, My Lady."

	"Allow us to send the announcement?" I asked her.

	"Of course, My Lady."

	We signed off.  I knew one of my assistants would be
preparing the news release even now.  This was an important story,
the Leader of a House deciding to emigrate, especially through the
Lottery.  Our people would position it well.

	I returned to my other tasks, but I sensed something.  I had
the sense a Leader has when a critical decision approaches.  I told
my staff I would review the release personally.

	Eleven hours later, I knew what that decision was.  I
reviewed the news release.  It was good.  Our systems were already in
action, adapting to the change in Leadership of a subsidiary House.
My niece and her husband would be valuable contributors to New Haven,
representing our House, but they would also have to work hard.  They
were not taking a temporary assignment.  They would live there, and
were choosing to die there.

	I added a sentence to the end of the release.  I called
David, my personal assistant, and asked him to join me in my office.

	He hurried in.

	"Were you sleeping, David?" I asked.

	He smiled.  "No, My Lady.  How may I serve you?"

	I shook my head.  "No formalities between us.  Here."  I
handed him the pad with the revised release.  He read it over.  He
gasped when read the line I had obviously added.

	"My Lady!  Catherine!"  He looked up to me.  He paused and
shook his head; he sighed.  "Catherine, I would advise against this,
but I know I'd be wasting my breath.  I know you've decided."

	I nodded.  "What do you think will happen?"

	He sighed.  He hadn't contacted others yet.  "People are
going to go nuts."  He shook his head.  "Catherine, you counsel us to
weigh risk against reward.  I see nothing but risk here.  What are
the rewards?"

	I nodded.  "I believe the rewards are there.  I will tell you
that I sense that, strongly.  I will tell you that's all I have -- a
sense.  As to risks, I'm acquainted with them.  We recovered the New
Caledonia, didn't we?"

	He nodded grimly.

	While the Great Ships finally freed Man from the tyranny of
the speed of light, the risk of travel was still there.  Terror
lurked where the Great Ships whispered beneath the stars.  The vast
majority of the time, ships departed, and ships arrived.  But some
times, ships departed, and never arrived.  The New Caledonia was one
of the first of the Great Ships to be recovered after disappearing.
The consensus, among the few who had seen what was recovered, was
that those who were never found were probably better off.

	"What would you have me do, Catherine?"

	"Advise me.  Let the games begin.  I've made my request for
passage, and have it ready to send at the same time."

	He raised an eyebrow, smiling, and nodded slightly.

	I pushed the links.  "It is done; they are sent," I told him.
"Will you join me for a meal?"

	He smiled, and bowed, "Yes, Catherine, of course."

	At the bottom of the release, a single sentence stated that
Lady Catherine, Leader and Head of the Great House of the Southern
Cross, had decided to take an Adventure, and accompany the members of
her family to New Haven, and then return.

	We went to one of my favorite observation points to enjoy our
meal.  David did very well, conversing, brushing against me
occasionally, distracting me.  I almost laughed a number of times.
The stated rule of the House is that I do not monitor communications
during personal meals and private times, and am not to be interrupted
except for dire emergencies.  I knew David was communicating with
others, at the same time he was being my advisor and consort.  What
he didn't know was that I was also monitoring -- I was curious to
know how our news was unfolding.

	He was feeding me a piece of fruit, cool, succulent and
juicy.  One hand offered me the fruit, while his other moved softly
against my side.  The fruit quavered a bit as it neared my mouth; his
hand on my side hesitated momentarily.

	I accepted the fruit and put my arms around him, holding him
to me.  "Oh David, I'm sorry to torment you so.  I've been
monitoring.  That must have been a good one.  What was it?"

	He sighed in my arms.  Yes he is trained, but after these
years, his devotion is real.  He sat up again, and kissed my hands.

	"Catherine, I don't want to be apart from you.  Transit House
has your application.  They wish to meet with you, at your
convenience."

	I raised an eyebrow.  He'd said "meet," rather than "talk,"
which implied physical presence.  "Very well, where and when?" I
asked.

	He paused briefly, communicating.  "At your convenience, My
Lady," he replied, dropping back into formal mode.

	I squeezed him gently.  "I will go to them, now.  You will
accompany me."

	"My Lady!  Security!" he cried.

	I shook my head.  "David, I will be placing myself in their
hands.  If there is to be larceny afoot, let us find out about it
now.  I do not see any in my future."

	He paused, then nodded.  "Done and agreed, My Lady.  We
should go.  They ..."  He paused for a moment, his eyes flicking
about as he drew others into the game.  "They are requesting a Waiver
from you.  We are negotiating."

	I nodded.  That was to be expected.  I picked up a piece of
fruit and offered it to him, moving my other hand between his
shoulders, supporting him.  He smiled, but I could tell he was torn
between duties.

	"Let us finish this meal in peace," I suggested.

	He closed his eyes with a smile and let me feed him.

	Our staff met us outside the observation area, who dressed us
for the meeting with Transit House.  We dress simply.  We are one of
the Great Houses, and have no need for lavish ornamentation.

	As we were cleaned and dressed, I received a flash link from
my head of Security, questioning the trip, and strongly suggesting
postponing for a day, or meeting in one of our facilities, where my
personal security could be better assured.  I flashed him back,
telling him I was going, and repeating what I am sure he heard me
tell David -- I would be putting my life in their hands on this
journey.  I also reiterated my conclusion as a Leader was that I was
not at risk.

	And that is what makes a Leader, is it not?  Making decisions
based on imperfect data, partially piercing the veil and seeing, even
dimly, into the future?  Do we see the future?  Or do we, through an
act of Will, make it so, make the future conform to our vision?  That
is the task we are bred for, trained for, live for.  And even then, I
knew that while the Risk in this Adventure was great, the Reward was
even greater.  I had no idea what they would be, but I knew with
certainty they were there.

	As we walked to the launch deck to pick up our shuttle, I
flashed for an update.

	Commentators were expecting a succession battle for my
position, tacitly assuming I'd never return.  Yet our share prices
were up.  I was very pleased to see one reference to us as the "Noble
House of the Southern Cross."

	On the legal front, the negotiations over the Transportation
Waiver were going fast and furious.  Transit House could not easily
refuse my application.  Not surprisingly though, they were terrified,
and wanted to be free and clear of any liability involved in
transporting me to New Haven and back.  Our counsel respectfully
disagreed, wanting them liable for anything and everything.  I
expected by the time we reached our destination, much would be
agreed, leaving the difficult issues for me.

	"How long?" I asked David as our shuttle lifted smoothly from the deck.

	He was deep in thought, involved in multiple negotiations.
He looked at me and said, "Apologies, My Lady.  Approximately half an
hour."

	I smiled and pulled him over to me, holding him in my arms.
He nestled in and sighed.  I smiled, knowing that while his body was
relaxing, his mind was very much at work.

	My mind was at work as well.  I requested monitoring,
quietly, of those who would seek my position as Leader and Head of
our Great House.  I would learn much about my family in these coming
days.

	Oh, David, what shall I do with you?  I can't take you with
me.  I understood that -- it had been part of my decision, that this
was my Adventure alone.  Yet you've given me so much of your life,
and you would gladly give your life for me.

	The inkling of a plan formed.  I knew that when the time
came, I would decide, and decide well.  Our House does not forget our
friends, those who have served so well.

	David stirred in my arms.  I squeezed him once more.  He
sighed and moaned a little, then lifted his head.  "We arrive, My
Lady."

	I barely felt us touch down.

	"Secured.  My Lady?"  David stood and helped me to my feet.
I embraced him once more, then let him fuss over my clothing.  The
shuttle's outer door opened.  The door was flanked on either side by
our pilot and one of our security people.  An honor guard from
Transit House awaited.

	We stepped out and were greeted.  Our guide bade us follow.

	"One moment," I said.  I turned to my pilot and said, "Thank
you for a pleasant flight.  Please wait for us."

	The young pilot blushed.  She bowed and said, "Thank you, My Lady!"

	I bowed to our security person.  "Thank you for your
concern."  He bowed and smiled.

	I turned and we followed our guide into the House.

	That's something others don't understand.  A leader of a
minor House once asked me, in some disgust, "Do you thank the walkway
under your feet?"  I smiled and told him, "Yes, for it gives its all
to carry me."  He didn't understand.  Thanking people costs so
little, requiring a few seconds at most, and develops such loyalty.

	I knew we were being scanned as we walked along the corridor.
I didn't mind.

	Our guide stood aside at a door.  The door was old, and made
of wood, a natural plant fiber.  It had the crest of Transit House
upon it.  Theirs is also an old House.

	I nodded to our guide as she opened the door.  "Thank you, my
dear."  She smiled and bowed as we stepped in.

	The room was old, yet accommodated the modern necessities.
Three people greeted us.  One man was dressed in the formal robes and
miter of the Legal Guild.  The other two were more of a surprise,
wearing Ship's uniforms.  I recognized their insignia, but was also
informed by my link that the woman was the First Officer, and the man
was the Doctor.

	First Officer thanked us for our kindness and presence, and
bade us sit around the table.  I touched its surface -- another wood
product.  I enjoyed the presence of wood.  In spite of its great
expense, it was making a resurgence.

	We passed the usual pleasantries, accepting light beverages.
When the tray was brought in, First Officer scanned them, then passed
them to us.  David brought out his scanner, but I held his hand,
nodding to the others.  I picked up my cup and took a sip.  It was a
gesture of trust.  I could envision my people monitoring this
screaming, jumping up and down at the risk I was taking.

	I set my cup down.  "Well, where should we begin?" I asked them.

	Legal started out.  "My Lady, we thank you for your kindness,
the offer of your custom, and above all for your trust.  We have a
small matter we should resolve before you speak with my colleagues."

	Ah -- the small matter of the Waiver.  "I understand, Sir."
I looked to David.  "Where do we stand?" I asked him.

	He handed me a tablet, which displayed the state of affairs.
I looked it over, flicking through the text.  Some compromises had
been reached.  There were large gaps between us still, much red text.
I sighed.  This could go on for years, if allowed.  I laughed a
little.  It was their role, after all.

	And mine was to be a Leader, and to cut through such knots.

	I smiled to David.  He tuned pale, recognizing that
particular smile.  I saw his eyes flick.  Good, he'd warned the
others.

	I looked to Legal opposite us.  "Sir, I have a suggestion for
how to resolve these minor differences."

	He smiled and nodded slightly -- minor differences indeed.
"We await your wisdom, My Lady," he intoned.

	It was right -- I felt it.  "Hear me, Lady Catherine of the
Great House of the Southern Cross," I said formally.  "I understand
the passage to New Haven and back entails risk.  I willfully accept
these risks, any and all, known and unknown, and any and all
consequences which may befall me.  I accept these risks, and their
consequences, and hold none responsible for them but myself."

	The poor man looked as if he was about to foul his ceremonial
robes.  I'm sure many of my staff were doing so.  It wouldn't be the
first time.

	I paused and smiled, then asked politely, "Is that sufficient, Sir?"

	His mouth opened, but no sound came out.  He closed his
mouth, blinked, and then bowed his head forward, the forward point of
his miter almost touching the table top.  He raised his head, and
with a look of wonder, said, "My Lady, that is quite sufficient!"

	I laughed, and all around the table joined me.

	I nodded when the laughter had faded.  I stole a glance at
David.  He shook his head slightly, but smiled.

	"Very well."  I asked the Legal Guild member, "Do you have
any additional concerns which we should address before I speak with
your colleagues?"

	He looked to his colleagues.  "There is the matter of the
price for passage."

	First Officer spoke.  "One credit."  Legal gasped -- standard
contract rates were on the order of ten million credits per kilogram.

	I nodded.  "Accepted."

	This was getting to be too much for Legal.  He took a deep
breath, attempting to settle himself.  He blinked and shook his head.
He looked to his colleagues, then to us.  "My Lady, Sirs, and Doctor,
my business here is at an end."

	I smiled and nodded.  "Thank you for your counsel and advice.
You have served Transit House well."

	He stood and bowed, and left the room.  We could hear him
chuckling softly as he went through the door.

	"Well?" I asked the remaining two.

	First Officer chuckled.  "My Lady, this is indeed an honor.
I am amazed."

	Doctor added, "Yes, My Lady.  It is a privilege."

	"Thank you, Sir and Doctor.  I am looking forward to the
journey."  Custom suggests that a ship's First Officer be addressed
as "Sir," even when female.

	First Officer spoke.  "My Lady, we understand you have
traveled on a Ship before, made jumps before?"

	I nodded.  I was happy to see they were interested in
supplementing what they had read in reports with firsthand
information.

	"Yes, twice, on small Ships, single crew.  A short hop to
Mars, one jump each way, and about six months ago, a visit to
Ganymede, also one jump each way."

	They exchanged glances.  Doctor spoke.  "My Lady, our records
only show one voyage.  Both these were uneventful?"

	I smiled.  "I'm pleased we are able to keep some things in
confidence," I told them.  The trip to Ganymede had been for a very
delicate negotiation.  "I was fully conscious during all the trips,
and found the experience interesting."

	Doctor nodded.  I'd anticipated his line of questioning.

	"So, My Lady, you would prefer to take this voyage in the same way?"

	Most travelers spent the time aboard ship drugged.
Reportedly it made the trip very pleasant.  Trinaril, the drug of
choice, rendered people very manipulable as well.

	"I would prefer that.  I am not an expert in this matter,
however, and would appreciate your recommendation.  If you see
medication as likely, we would need time to prepare."

	They nodded.  As was common with many holding important
office, my body had been altered to render certain common drugs, and
many uncommon drugs, ineffective.  It would be a simple matter, I was
told, to reverse this and allow my system to respond to trinaril.

	First Officer asked, "My Lady, do you recall if your jumps to
Ganymede were direct, or were they through the well?"

	I smiled.  "Through the well" referred to making a jump from
one side of a star to the other, passing under its gravity well.
"Those jumps were through the well, passing under our Sun.  Our
captain was skilled," I told them.  Such jumps are not favored --
many would choose to make two jumps, or even three, rather than take
the direct jump through the well.

	Officer and Doctor conferred, eye to eye.

	"My Lady," Doctor continued, placing a crown on the table.
"We would like your permission to perform a test.  Are you familiar
with this instrument?"  He held up the crown.  The metal band had six
oval objects on it, each opal-like, white with fire, almost alive.
My own people still debated.  Were they alive?  They made guiding,
piloting, driving the Ships possible.

	"Yes, I am familiar with polycrystals.  Most likely those
were made by one of our Houses.  My people still debate whether or
not they are alive.  Do you have an opinion?"

	First Officer gave me quite a smile, shaking her head slowly.
"There are many Mysteries in the Void, My Lady, and that is one of
them."  She spoke with strong emotion, as if revealing one of the
great secrets to the universe.

	I had a sudden, fleeting image of her, floating in a dark
space, her head adorned with such a crown, radiating fire, a fire
that transcended space, her head arched back, the look on her face
one of ...  As I looked into her eyes, I shared her Mystery.

	Doctor glanced at us.  "My Lady, may I approach?" he asked.

	"Doctor, I give you permission to do as you see fit," I told
him.  I glanced to David.  I knew I was giving them permission to
look into my mind.

	Doctor approached.  "My Lady, long jumps are quite different
from short ones, although jumping through the well is close.  Some
people react differently to long jumps.  We are concerned for your
well-being aboard our Ship.  May I?"

	He was holding the crown above my head.  While one of our
Houses produces the vast majority of polycrystal material, I'd never
experienced their contact first hand.  "You may proceed, Doctor."

	The crown was placed on my head.  I felt coolness and warmth
both from the crystals.  I closed my eyes momentarily, sensing them
better.

	"My Lady, are you all right?" Doctor asked with concern.

	I opened my eyes and smiled.  "Yes, Doctor, thank you.  It is
an interesting sensation.  They ... they are most curious."

	Doctor sat by his colleague.  First Officer asked, "You can
sense them, My Lady?"

	I nodded, feeling for them a little more.  "Yes, to a degree.
Very curious."

	"May we proceed?" Doctor inquired.

	I nodded.

	"Very well," he said.  "You might experience a brief flash of
sensation..."

	Oh!  A flash indeed!  It was brief, so brief, but I had
sensations of ... of what?

	Doctor and First Officer looked at the tablet between them.
Curious looks filled their faces, and First Officer smiled.  More
silent conversation took place.

	First Officer rose, and retrieved the crown, asking
permission before touching me.  She sat down.

	"My Lady," she said, "We look forward to having you aboard
our Ship.  Your presence will honor us."

	"Then the results of the test are satisfactory?" I asked.

	Curious -- they exchanged glances again, before Doctor spoke.
"Yes, My Lady, quite."

	"I look forward to the voyage.  I will not be a bother to
you," I told them.

	We moved on to speak of the voyage, the Great Ship, and my
accommodations on board.  The voyage would take from ten to thirty
jumps, over a period of two to five days.  The distance in
light-years was immense.

	Now the pod ships of the past, while Man was under the
tyranny of the speed of light, were large and purpose-built.  They
had to be, to survive centuries-long transits between near stars.
The crew operated in a drugged twilight, their passengers suspended
in cold sleep, encased in hardened pods.

	That ended with the Great Ships.  Their ship, the Great White
House, was fashioned after the White House, the famed historical
residence of the Leader of the ancient North American Syndicate, home
to ancient heroes, villains, and fools, names from early history such
as Lincoln, Kennedy, Nixon, Clinton, Moore.

	They flashed a holo of their Ship before of us.  It was a
stately Ship.  The main building was surrounded by varied grounds,
with large expanses of lawn, and even areas of pleasure gardens.  We
toured the interior briefly, with its staterooms, and large halls for
holding most of the passengers -- eighty to ninety percent would
travel in a drugged state, requiring very little attention.  We
passed to the area of the Grand Staterooms.  I was more interested in
seeing the operating areas of the Ship, which I knew to be
underground -- the massive engines, the Source driving it all.

	I interrupted our tour.  "If I sleep at all on the journey, I
will sleep outside, under the stars," I told them.  I knew others had
passed similar journeys in this manner.  Doctor looked surprised.  I
thought First Officer was going to cry.  They glanced at each other
again.

	After a moment, and undoubtedly after silent consultation
with many others, First Officer looked to me.  Her look was an
interesting one.  "My Lady," she said, softly at first, then clearing
her throat some and continuing stronger, "We will be honored by your
presence.  We lift in seventeen days.  Do you have other questions?"

	I reached over and held David's hand.  I knew he, and the
others, were clamoring, bursting, overflowing, with questions.

	"Not at this time, Sir and Doctor.  You have much to do
before we lift.  Thank you for your time."

	They smiled and nodded.  "Thank you, My Lady.  This has been
a memorable meeting!" First Officer said.  We laughed softly.

	We stood.  They bowed to us, and we to them.  "In seventeen
days, then," I told them.  I exited the room, with David following.

	He was quiet until we got into the shuttle and lifted off.

	"What was that test?  What happened?  What was going on
between them?  My Lady, I want Doctor O'Connor to examine you most
thoroughly when we return to the House.  I insist!"

	I held his hand.  "David, it's all right.  I don't know what
was going on between them.  Possibly they're lovers.  The test?  It
was so brief!  Yet it almost felt like a jump.  David, everything
will be fine.  This is something I know."

	That didn't placate him.  That didn't placate any of them.
Yet, they knew it would have to do.  I subjected myself to their
tests, which revealed nothing.  I had them readjust my system so
trinaril would be effective, if needed.  They objected, but did it
anyway.

	Of the remaining time, I'll say little, save that it brought
out the best and the worst in some of the House, and I took the
actions needed.  My responsibility is not only to the House, but more
importantly, to the people comprising it.

	I communicated with my niece almost daily.  Eight days prior
to lift, she was excited, and showed me her boarding pass, which had
just arrived.  When I had not received one two days later, I sent a
polite inquiry to Transit House.

	Three hours later, I heard a knock on my door.  David was
elsewhere for me, handling delicate House matters.  The staff knows I
prefer the old approaches.  "Come in," I called.

	A young aide entered, bowing profusely.  He wasn't used to
direct contact with me.

	"Well?" I asked.  I expect he'd still be bowing if I hadn't
prodded him.

	Eyes down, he said, "My Lady, a woman is here to see you!
Actually here!  From Transit House, My Lady!"

	"Look at me, Victor, when you speak to me.  Who is she?"

	He looked up, timid.  "First Officer Delaney, of the Great
Ship White House, My Lady."

	I nodded.  "Please show her in.  Here.  Now."

	He bowed and scraped his way backing out the door.  "Yes, My
Lady.  Right away!"

	I didn't know if I was pleased or displeased at his manner.
I was certainly displeased at what happened half an hour later.

	To another knock on the door, I stood to receive my guest,
and said, "Come in."

	The door opened, and First Officer entered, accompanied by
one of our security people.  She was wearing a guest robe.  She
didn't look too happy.  I knew what had happened -- our security
people had stripped her, screened her, undoubtedly quite extensively.

	"Where is this Officer's uniform?" I shouted out.  "Don't you
know how to show respect for others?"

	"My Lady," the security man started, "We thought ..."

	"You didn't think," I interrupted.  "David would never have
let such an unfortunate incident occur.  Where is her uniform?"

	"I..." he started.

	"You nothing!" I told him.  "Go get her uniform, and anything
else she may have brought with her, and bring it to my private
quarters.  Now!  Go!"

	He opened his mouth, but my gaze and pointed finger gave him
the only explanation he was going to get, unless he received
additional information from my foot.  He skittered out.

	I walked over and took her hand.  "Sir and Officer, I
apologize for the actions of my staff.  Please, come with me."

	I took her by the arm and led her down the hall to my private
quarters.  Staff members cleared out of the way, seeing the look on
my face.

	We sat, and as I apologized once again, a knock sounded on
the door.  I answered it, to see the security man and one of my
private staff, with the Officer's uniform and a small package wrapped
with a ribbon.  It looked to be wrapped in actual paper!  I took them
and dismissed my staff with a gaze, and not a pleased one.

	I placed her uniform and the package on my sleeping pad.  I
turned to her.  "Sir and Officer, again I beg your forgiveness.
Please return to your uniform, and make whatever use you wish of what
I have to offer."  I waved my hand about my quarters.  "I will be
waiting outside the door for you."  I bowed, and stepped to the door.
I stood outside, closing the door.

	My head of security came running up the hallway, followed by
two other officers.  "My Lady!" he cried, "You've left an outsider
alone in your personal quarters?"

	I shook my head.  They needed to learn.  "I left in my
quarters the First Officer of the Ship I will be traveling on.  You
did her, her Ship, and her entire Guild, a great disservice, and
disappointed me greatly."

	He bowed his head.  He reached for the emblem on his chest,
starting to remove it.  I stepped forward and placed my hand over his.

	"You will not leave my service.  You did this to protect me.
I understand that.  I do not expect you to leave my service, and I do
not expect others to be disciplined.  I expect you to learn.  This is
an unusual situation.  Do you understand?"

	He looked up.  I could see tears in his eyes.  "Yes, My Lady.
May I remain to apologize to our guest?"

	I smiled.  "Thank you Kevin, you may."

	He turned to two others, carrying equipment, and said,
"Dismissed."  They scattered quickly.  I had no doubt they would
return discreetly later, and sweep my quarters most thoroughly.

	Soon, the door opened.  First Officer stepped out, once again
in her gray uniform.  She had brushed out her hair.  She looked to
the security officer standing in front of her.

	He went down on one knee, bowing his head.  "Sir and
Officer," he said, "I am Head of Security for this House.  Please
accept my humble apologies for the manner in which you have been
treated.  We beg your forgiveness."

	To her credit, First Officer put a hand on his shoulder.
"Rise, please.  I accept your apology.  I have received worse
treatment from my own Guild."

	He rose, and bowed.  "Sir and Officer, I thank you.  My Lady?"

	I nodded.  He bowed once again, and left.

	"Again, I'm so sorry.  Do you have time to join me for
refreshment?" I asked.

	She smiled.  "Yes, My Lady, I do."

	"I would prefer if you addressed me as Catherine.  Once
aboard your Ship, I will be but another passenger."

	She smiled.  "I understand, My Lady.  When we are aboard my
Ship, I will."

	I laughed.  She understood the forms well.  I took her arm in
mine and led her down the hall.  "Refreshment for two," I called out.

	We sat in my private study.  It's a small area, comfortably
furnished.  As I sat down, I looked around, and somehow knew....

	With a knock on the door, our refreshment arrived.  The tray
was placed on the table between us, the tea steeping.  My aide made a
move to pour, and I told her, "I will take care of that.  Thank you."
She nodded and left.

	I sighed and picked up the teapot, an antique thousands of
years old.  One of my vices, that.  I poured two cups, raised mine,
and took a sip.  She raised hers and did likewise.  I smiled -- at
least we still had trust.

	"I'm forgiven, then?" I asked.

	She laughed.  "My Lady, yes, of course."  She cast a glance
out to the hallway.  "I'm surprised he's still alive," she said
softly.

	I frowned, slightly.  "That is not the way this House operates."

	She dropped her eyes.  "Now I must beg your forgiveness, My
Lady.  I wish more Houses operated as yours does."

	"Thank you, my dear.  Please, in this room formalities are
not needed," I told her.

	She looked to me, and smiled.  There was a knowledge in her smile.

	We spoke for a while about preparations.  They were going
well, with all the confusion and last minute changes one would expect.

	"How long have you been First Officer?" I asked.

	"Four and a half years, My Lady, Catherine, since the first
of the Great Ships."

	I nodded.  She was as seasoned a veteran as there could be.

	"Do you expect your own Ship, some day?" I asked.

	She brightened and saddened at the same time.  "Yes, I will
captain a Ship of my own."  Her voice was filled with emotion, and
strength.  "Pardon me, yes, it's so difficult to find officers."  She
paused, then took a breath.  She picked up the package and handed it
to me.  "This is the reason for my visit."

	It was small, a little larger than my hand.  It was indeed
wrapped in paper, with the usual synthetic ribbon around it.  I
unwrapped it carefully, yet quickly, remembering birthdays as a
child, many, many years ago.  I looked up at my guest.

	"I don't know whether to laugh or to cry, it's been so long
since I unwrapped anything!" I told her, one woman to another, one
girl to another.

	Inside the wrapping, which I set aside carefully, was a box.
I opened it.  Inside was a folded piece of paper.  Inside the piece
of paper was a standard plastic transit card, embossed en holo on one
side with the crest of Transit House, and on the other with an image
of the Great Ship White House.

	I picked up the paper.  It was real paper.  It had been
written on, by hand, with an ink pen.  This is an ancient instrument
which is used by hand to leave stains on the paper in the shape of
letters.  The writing read, "Earth to New Haven, and Return."  It was
signed by the Captain.

	I held the note in my hands and let them fall to my lap.  I
looked to my guest, feeling the moisture in my eyes.  This was such
an honor.  I sighed and stood up.

	"Please, come with me," I said softly.  I took her hand, and
took her down the hall.  We took the lift to another floor, to part
of the Family archives.  We entered.

	Here we held the history of our Family, our House, going back
to when it was called Jardines, a trading house long before the First
Age of Space.  I led us to one particular case.  It was made of real
wood, and real glass.  "Release!" I called out.  There was no sound,
no indication, but I was able to open the door of the case.  I
reached in and selected a coin.

	I turned to my guest.  "We agreed on one credit, as price of
passage.  Here is One Pound Sterling, which I wish you to take and
deliver to your Captain, to pay for my passage.  Will you do this for
me?"

	I placed the ancient coin in her hands.  She took it, and
said softly but clearly, "My Lady, I will be honored."

	Seeing her curiosity, I gave her a brief tour of the room and
its contents.  It was hard to believe that so much, so little, had
survived all this time.

	Time....  I realized she had much to do.  I had much to do.

	"My dear, thank you for taking so much of your valuable time
with me," I told her.

	"My Lady!" she started out.

	I shook my head, and took her arm in mine.  "Where did you
enter?  I will show you out."

	I took her through the building, sending a message that if
she'd been forced to park her shuttle in an outlying area, that it
better damned well be at the formal entrance when we got there.  I
received a reply that it would be there in three minutes.  Good.

	She was surprised to see her shuttle floating on the pad at
the entrance.  She smiled to me in amusement.

	"My dear, I will see you in six days."  I gave her a brief hug.

	She smiled and shook her head.  "My Lady, it has been an
honor."  She bowed and got into her shuttle.  I stayed on the landing
until they left.

	"You gave it away!" an aide called out as I walked back to my office.

	"Yes, I did.  Shows it was still worth something."

	I met with my senior staff, the Heads of the Houses, the day
before I left.  Two Heads were absent, sent to far-flung outposts to
study and report.  That was the price they paid for their
machinations.  That last night, David comforted me, and I comforted
him, as best we could.  He accompanied me the next morning to the
Great Ship.

	I told our pilot to land at the common landing area, circus
though it was.  I used a tone of voice insuring no further
discussion.  We'd gone through it before.  They wanted me to accept
treatment as an Honored Guest.  I was going to walk in with my niece
and her husband, as Lottery winners.

	And that is what we did.  I entered the queue with the other
Lottery winners.  I was wearing a simple, heavy, brown robe over a
lighter orange one-piece robe underneath.  Around my waist was a
simple cord, with three knots on one end of the cord.  I carried a
small wooden bowl, and my boarding card, as my only possessions.  My
feet were bare.  This was the way I wanted to start my Adventure.

	We reached the point where visitors were no longer permitted
in the queue.  David had been by my side.  Now was the time for us to
part.

	It's interesting, how the great decisions come with such
clarity and calm.  I turned to David, and pulled off my Signet ring,
the symbol of my authority as Leader of the House.  I put it in
David's palm, closing his fingers around it.  I knew I should select
a successor, and I had, making my final decision at that point.

	"Give this to the Lady Janet, for her to use until such time
as I shall ask for its return.  This is my wish.  It is also my wish
that she keep you as valued aide.  I advise her to seek in you
advice, counsel, and comfort.  Thank you for your service, and your
devotion, David, to our House, and to me."  I leaned forward and
kissed him on the forehead.  He turned and left without a sound.  It
was better for both of us that way.

	"My Lady!" my niece exclaimed.

	I shook my head, holding out my naked hand.  How long had I
worn that ring?  A century and a half?  It was time for someone else.
"No, my dear, just your old Aunt Catherine now."

	All passengers, even Honored Guests, were allowed themselves,
their clothing, and twenty kilograms of personal belongings.  My
niece and her husband had a small bag each.  Others around us were
loaded down.  As we moved, slowly, in the queue, others seeing how
light our loads were asked, begged, and pleaded for us to carry
things for them.  I politely refused, as did my family.

	An officer approached us, identifiable by his uniform and the
crown on his head.  "Please, this way," he offered.  My niece held up
her head and told him, "No, this is the queue, right here."

	He looked at us in brief confusion.  "As you wish."  He bowed
and departed.  I gave my niece a hug.  "I am proud of you," I
whispered.

	As we approached the Gate to the Ship, I could see it better.
The Ship seemed to be hovering, centimeters off the surrounding
ground.  I could feel it, feel something, something ready to leap....
The rim of the Ship was demarked by a ring of polycrystal,
shimmering, alive.

	The three of us entered the Gate together.  We handed over
our boarding passes.  Our effects were weighed.  We were allowed
through.

	On the other side of the Gate, we were taken aside quickly.
"My Lady, Sir and Lady," we were addressed, and shown to a private
area.  It was a small sitting place, resembling a private park.  From
what I'd memorized of the Ship, it was near the cargo entrance.

	"One moment, and someone will be with you," our guide said,
then bowed and left.

	The ship's Doctor soon appeared, with three assistants.  One
took my family's bags.  "These will be placed in storage," we were
told.

	Doctor said to my niece and her husband, "I have reviewed
your request, and am happy to comply.  Please follow my assistants.
They will take care of you."

	My niece turned and gave me a hug.  "Thank you My Lady, Aunt
Catherine.  We will see you on the other side."  They left holding
each other.  I could see the love they had for each other, and the
excitement they shared.

	I eyed the Doctor as he bade me to sit next to him.  He nodded.

	"They will be traveling the easy path," he said, meaning
drugged, "But with an interesting request, which we will accommodate
as best we can.  As for you, My Lady..."

	"I thought I had an agreement with your First Officer, that
once aboard your Ship, I was to be addressed as Catherine."

	He nodded and smiled.  "And I am certain that is how she will
address you, My Lady."

	I laughed.  I was outflanked.  "Very well, Doctor.  Please, I
ask that you all call me Catherine.  It is the one accommodation I
request."

	He nodded.  "Agreed, then.  Your right wrist, please."  I
extended my wrist.  He placed a band about it, clicking it securely,
showing me the large button in it.

	"Should you wish to be medicated at any time during the
voyage, you need only press this button.  Medication can also be
initiated remotely if need be.  Have you taken the necessary steps?"

	I nodded.  "I am told the steps have been taken, Doctor."

	"I am sure your people are more competent in these matters
than I," he said.  "But now, the most important thing."  He withdrew
a crown from a small bag.  Its six crystals were alive, much more
alive than the crystals in the crown he wore.  "You must wear this at
all times during the voyage.  Agreed?  Should you attempt to remove
it once we have lifted, it will initiate medication.  Understood?"

	I settled it on my head, with his help.  The feeling was
interesting, intimate, stimulating.  "I agree, Doctor.  What now?"

	He stood up.  I stood up with him.  "You may wish to avoid
the Lottery entrance, but you are free to go wherever you wish aboard
our Ship.  I will talk with you later.  There will be a warning chime
before we lift.  I bid you safe passage, My Lady."

	I nodded and shook his hand.  "I wish us all safe passage, Doctor."

	"Thank you, My Lady.  If you will excuse me."

	"Of course, Doctor."

	He walked off.

	I sat again, eyes closed for a moment, studying the sensation
of the crown on my head.  I'd meant to contact one of our House
groups and spend time with them, learning more about polycrystals and
their impact on the ability to curve space-time by an act of Will.
With all I had to do, I was reduced to scanning reports, most of
which were far too specialized for me to completely comprehend.

	Ah well, and I was unlikely to comprehend it further.  I
opened my eyes.  I wondered if I still had links?  I checked.  I did
indeed have links.  I requested an update on Ship status.  I quickly
learned we had four hours thirty-seven minutes until scheduled
departure.  We had twenty one hundred eighty seven passengers, of
which sixty four were Honored Guests.  Twenty one passengers had
chosen to make the voyage unmedicated.  The crew numbered thirty four.

	I brought up a map, and was surprised at its detail.  I could
examine the outlines of Ship systems!  There was far more detail
present than in the holos we had been sent.  I was surprised by how
little volume the physical portion of drive systems occupied.

	But with over four hours until departure, and the amount of
time I'd been up without anything to eat, my needs were more
immediate and visceral.

	My inquiry popped a marker onto the map.  Tents were set out
with refreshments for Honored Guests.  I stood, gathered my bowl, and
set out across the soft grass.

	It took a few minutes to make the walk, as I was in no hurry.
The tents were set out on the other side of the Ship, near the Gate
for Honored Guests.

	I walked into a refreshment tent, and looked over the
display.  It was sumptuous.  I looked over the buffet and filled my
bowl.

	My bowl full, I moved outside the tent and sat on the grass to eat.

	I got up to get more fruit, some of the spiced meat, and a
beverage.  One of the staff poured me a tempting looking beverage.  I
smiled and said, "Thank you, my dear."  I returned to my seat outside.

	I was joined after a bit by a young man.  "May I join you?" he asked.

	"Please," I indicated with a wave of my hand.

	"I am Peter, at your service," he said with a slight bow,
placing his plates on the grass.

	I extended a hand and shook his.  "My pleasure, Peter.  I am
Catherine."

	We talked about our journey.  This was to be his second trip
to New Haven.  I queried his profile.  He told me he was responsible
for geothermal engineering.  He asked if I had made many journeys
before.

	"No, this is my first long trip.  I've been about the home
system, but never outside it," I told him.

	We spoke at some length.  He offered to refresh my beverage;
I accepted.  When he returned, he sat again.

I asked, "Which path are you taking?"

	He said, a bit sheepishly, "The easy path -- I've made
arrangements -- shortly after we lift.  And you?"

	"I'd planned on staying awake."

	Sitting next to him, I missed David already.  As Leader of a
Great House, I'm sure I could have David at my side, and on the
voyage in a few minutes.  No, that was not the path I'd chosen.

	"You won't reconsider?" I asked.  I was actually flirting with him!

	He shook his head.  "No, Catherine, It's too unsettling for
me.  Even short jumps.  For me, it's the easy path."

	I looked up into the sky, still blue with broken high clouds.
"If I sleep at all, it will be out here under the stars," I told him.

	He sighed and moved his hand closer to mine.  I took his.  I
knew he was single, unattached, in superb health.  I knew he was the
Director of his project.

	But for now, he was a man, and I was a woman.

	"More to eat?" he asked.

	"No, thank you."

	He rose and picked up his plates, and my bowl.  I took the
bowl back.  "I'll hold on to this, thank you."

	He returned the plates to the tent, stopping to pick up
another plate left on the grass.

	He returned to me.  "Walk with me for a while?"

	I nodded and let him help me stand.

	We walked.  He was looking forward to his project.  I could
tell he was running it, checking it, even as we walked.  I sent a
link to our House, suggesting we extend him, and his House, any
courtesy.  We stopped at a small pond, and I rinsed my bowl, drying
it with my robe.

	As we stood, he asked, "May I look at your bowl?"

	I handed it to him.  He examined it, then seemed to realize.
"Is this made of ... wood?" he asked in astonishment.  He handed it
back gingerly.

	"Yes.  It has been in my family for many generations."

	"Your feet are bare!"

	"Yes, they are.  You are wearing shoes."

	He laughed.  "Catherine, I don't know about you..."

	I laughed along with him.  "Some of my friends have been
saying the same."

	We had retraced my path, stopping a distance from the Lottery gate.

	"Such brave people," I said softly.

	He nodded.  "Yes.  I envy them sometimes.  Would I have the
courage?  I understand a Lady of one of the Great Houses actually
applied through the Lottery, and was accepted.  It makes a good
story, anyway."

	I nodded.  "Yes, I've heard that as well."  We turned and
headed to the main house.

	At one of the doors, we were greeted by a staff member, who
bowed to us.

	Peter turned to me.  "Catherine, I must beg your leave.  I
must contact my House for final instructions.  I'm being used as a
courier as well.  I may not see you before we depart.  Would you
share planetfall with me?"

	I held his hands.  "Yes, Peter.  I wish you an easy journey."

	"And to you as well, Catherine.  Possibly you'll be in my
dreams," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

	I was still thirsty, so I headed back to the refreshment
tents.  The staff were busy preparing for departure, so we "Honored
Guests" were on our own.  I knew how to open containers and serve
myself.

	I moved to a bench near a fountain.  Viewing Ship plans, I
observed that the fountain was used as a backup cooling system.
Efficient, clever, and artistic.  About a dozen people were around
it, conversing, or sitting quietly.

	Examining more, I found another spot, marked "Contemplation."
I walked to it, at the Rim of the Ship.  It was a garden of rock and
sand, in the ancient Nippon style.  I sat on the stone bench, looking
out onto the Rim, glowing, flickering polycrystal.  I focused on my
breath, on the moment.

	A chime sounded, and a strong male voice called out, "Lift in
five minutes."

	The life and light in the polycrystals of the Rim changed.
They were far more active.  I closed my eyes and focused internally
again.  I could feel, sense, the energy, eagerness, in the
polycrystals touching my head.

	Another chime, and the voice said simply, "We lift."

	I opened my eyes to see us drifting away from the Earth,
drifting higher and faster, with no physical sense of motion.  We
tilted, turning over, so that the Earth was above us, shrinking
rapidly.

	The sky changed from light blue to dark blue, to black as we
departed.  Our path took us through the rings of orbiting structures,
and out past the Lagrange point where the pieces of the last of the
pod ships, the Valkyrie, floated in silence, never to be completed,
never to be launched.

	The moon filled our view, then receded, as we moved up and
out, out of the ecliptic plane.  I remember as a little girl, looking
up at the moon, reaching for it, and telling my father, "I want
that."  I remember being told by someone that our Family was so rich
we could buy and sell entire worlds.  And I remember him telling me,
"Catherine, we are not owners -- we are only caretakers."  Thank you,
father, for all your gifts.  I know you are proud of me.

	From my bench seat I looked forward again, past the rock
formations, out through what I knew to be shells of energy, holding
in the atmosphere that sustained our lives.  Was the wavering in my
vision caused by those shells, or by the moisture in my eyes?  I
looked out into the depths of space, filled with stars.  I looked
with wonder, knowing we were destined for a star whose light had not
shone on our world during the recorded history of Man.

	After a while, I stood.  The stars above were exhilarating in
their bright contrast with the depths of space.  There were lights in
the trees, and along the paths of the Ship.  The House itself was
illuminated, calling to my memory the image printed on an ancient
piece of money, dating back to the times when pieces of paper were
used as currency.

	I set out for the house.  What had the ancient one said?  "A
journey of a thousand Li starts with one step."

	I had taken a number of steps, walking along in the
star-filled sky.  I was filled with the wonder of it all.  A teacher
had told me, many years ago, to stand on my feet, and feel the
connection I had with the Earth.  For when I really stand on my feet,
I am not lost.

	What was I connected with now?  I was in transition -- I knew
that.  But to what?  I stopped, and felt the connection, through my
legs and feet.  I was connected -- to the Ship.

	And as I took another step, we jumped.  It was a small jump,
a brief flash.  Yet it swallowed me, sending me tumbling on the grass
and leaving me on my back.

	It had been so quick.  And yet in that thin slice of time,
I'd felt ....  I'd been ....

	I felt the energy in the crown on my head.  I was swimming in
it.  I'd sensed it, sensed the structure underneath the stars.  I was
buzzing with it.

	As I looked up, Saturn and its rings swung into view, filling
my vision.  I thought I heard cheers and applause in the distance.  I
could see the braided detail of the rings, and the twinkle from the
scoop ships harvesting tiny sips of the atmosphere.  Then we sped
away, back out of the ecliptic again.

	A week earlier, I'd managed a conversation with the solo
Captain of a small Ship, the one who had taken us to Ganymede.  I'd
read of the science of travel, whispering beneath space on the power
of Will.  She told me some of the art.  I knew that we'd make a
number of small jumps first, both to test out systems and their
readiness, and to find the proper point for a longer jump.  When I'd
asked her how that point was found, she smiled and asked me how I
found the "right" place to sit in a room.

	My body was relaxed, so I sensed it approaching.  We were
going to jump again.  It would be another short jump.  Should I close
my eyes, or leave them open?  I closed my eyes and focused on the
space inside.

	I sensed his Will, and the Will of First Officer, some
quality of her mind, her spirit, guiding and directing.  I felt the
beginning of the jump, and the middle, and the end.  It was
interesting -- as if jumping in a general direction, traveling a
distance, and then having some flexibility on where to drop out
again.  Had I felt a connection between them?  Yes, I had.

	I sat up; I knew somehow it would be some time before we
jumped again, and that would be another small jump.  We would make at
least one more small jump before the large ones.

	As I sat up, I was startled by the brightness flickering
around me.  Where were those lights?  I realized I was seeing the
light from the crown on my head, such life and intensity!  My mind
went back to the vision I'd had of First Officer, with light
streaming from the crown around her head.

	I stood.  I closed my eyes, standing as I'd been taught,
turning inward to feel the connection.  As I did, even through closed
eyes I could see the polycrystals in my crown flare brighter, feel
them connecting me to the Void.

	I opened my eyes.  Who was I?  We are defined in part by the
roles we play.  What roles did I have now?  I have family aboard; how
are they?  I queried Ship as to their location.  I smiled.  They were
in one of the pleasure gardens?  Drugged?  This should be
interesting.  I started walking once again, bending to pick up my
bowl.

	I laughed to myself.  If someone were to ask me how I
traveled to New Haven, I could tell them I walked.

	I approached the pleasure gardens from one side, off from the
main entrances.  I found them in an area of soft mossy grass covered
mounds, with shrubs, small trees, and wonderfully aromatic flowers.
A slight breeze filled the area.  I had trained as an engineer once.
That part of me marveled at the attention to detail, and the artistry
in the execution.

	I found my family, sitting, Yab-Yum style, naked and
intertwined, my niece sitting impaled on her husband, their arms
around each other.  They were holding and kissing each other.  I knew
trinaril distorted many things, producing a dreamlike state.  They
should be enjoying themselves greatly.

	As I walked along the path to one of the main entrances to
the pleasure garden, I stopped in surprise.  Was it?  I stepped
closer.  It was -- Peter was sitting on a bench, eyes closed, dressed
courtesan-style.  Beside him was a printed note, which read, "Honored
Guest -- Use me for your pleasure as you will."

	That stirred me deeply.  What a risk he took!  I laughed
softly -- and what a reward he would have -- what a reward we would
both have.

	Trinaril brought on a dreamlike state, in which inhibitions
disappeared.  So did initiative, unless put into motion by the Will
of another.

	I stepped to him, and raised his chin.  He was handsome, and
so young -- not even eighty.

	"Peter, look at me," I commanded, but softly.  His eyes
opened.  A smile formed on his face, slowly.

	"Peter, would you make love with me?" I asked.

	I could see the fires building in him, evident in him before
he answered, huskily, "Yes."

	I took his hand and led us to a secluded spot.  It was a bowl
shaped depression four or five meters across, covered in the dense,
soft, buoyant ground cover.  Surrounding flowers scented the air.

	I loosened my sash, and placed it and both my robes on a
raised spot.  I loosened his courtesan's robes -- had he brought
those, or had the Ship provided them?  When they were removed, I saw
he was indeed ready to please me, and please me well.

	I guided us down to our knees and kissed him softly.  His
actions were slow, but determined, and gentle.  He kissed well, and
ran his hands across my body.

	I reclined on my back.  He sat beside me, gazing at me with a
half-smile.  "Please me," I requested.

	He moved down my body slowly, taking his time, pleasing my
whole body.  Oh, he was skilled.  By the time his hands and mouth
moved to my core, I was deliriously hungry for him. His hands and his
mouth soon had me shaking and crying out, then falling back against
the soft ground cover, where he started in again.

	Some time during the process we jumped again, another small
jump, but one which shattered something inside me, broke through a
barrier.  We jumped as I passed through ecstasy again, and this time
I felt the purpose in our jump, our direction.

	We fell out the other side, and I opened my eyes to the
brightness from my crown filling the space around us.  His tongue
touched my center again, and my eyes closed once more.

	I struggled up after some time, and pushed him to his back.
I felt full, yet hungry.  I felt tired, yet rested.  I felt at ease,
yet ready to ....

	I had also learned and practiced the arts over the years, and
plied them with care and feeling on my consort.  I soon had him
writhing at my touch, moaning and calling out.

	Somehow, before I mounted him, I knew I needed to turn him so
we would be facing a particular direction.  How does one determine
direction on a Ship floating in space?

	I inflamed him again, and slid onto him, taking him into me.
We both cried out at the touch, the union.

	I started rocking on top of him, taking us both up to that
precipice.  His hands gripped my waist.  I spoke to him, guiding him,
holding him off, building and building.

	And as our pleasure built, so did another feeling.  I didn't
know if my eyes were open or closed.  My vision was filled with light
and color, alive, springing from the crown on my head.  The light,
the shapes were palpable, alive, growing, surrounding us.  I saw his
face, his head arched back, the pale shade of his skin contrasting
with my deep ebony.

	I felt it building, building to a peak.  And something else
was building as well.  I threw my head back, threw my eyes open,
looking deep into the stars.  I cried out for him to come, to fill
me.  He did, and that first hot pulse deep within me sent me over the
edge.

	And at that same time, we jumped.  I howled and cried out
into the fabric beneath the stars.  I felt it; I was a part of it.  I
felt our path, and with my own Will, took us farther toward our goal.
I felt those around me.  I could see First Officer, her crown ablaze,
and feel her joy at my presence.  I felt the partnership of our
Captain, his joy, and his invitation to me.

	And in my joy, things shifted, and I saw clearly.  I saw a
different path, for myself, and for our Ship.  I showed them the new
path.  They accepted, and I Willed us along that path.  I felt their
guidance, their advice.  I needed to save enough to be able to jump
again, quickly, if needed.  I understood, and saw the safe spots, and
showed them the unsafe spots.  I felt their assistance in guiding us
out of the jump.

	Space returned to my vision in a blaze of stars.  Through my
crown, I felt our position.  I knew our position, and that of my
birthplace, so far away.  I felt New Haven, our goal, now a few short
jumps away.  I felt the fabric of space and time, and felt it as a
part of me.

	My crown was blazing, surrounding us in a sphere of light.

	I bent down and kissed my consort.  I covered him with his
robes.  I looked over at mine, and laughed.  They were a cocoon, and
I had shed them.

	We would not jump for a while.  It had been a good jump, a long jump.

	I knew where to meet them, at a spot marked by a small hill
directly above the Source powering our Ship.  As I walked, I saw
them, ablaze in spheres of living light, descending from the sky.

	And in my laughter, I floated up into the sky, arcing across
to meet them.

	They landed first.  I set down, and took the final steps.
They stood, as I, naked save for surrounding clouds of living light,
Captain, and First Officer.

	"You knew," I said to her as I approached, extending my
hands.  They each took one, and we stood in a triangle.

	"No," she said, "I hoped, I wished, I prayed."

	"Catherine," he said, his voice deep and resonant, "We all
hoped and prayed.  And oh how our prayers have been answered!"

	I looked at him.  I understood more.  I would study with him,
learn with him.  But that meant ....

	I turned to her.  "But ...."

	She smiled and shook her head, looking to him, then back to
me.  "Catherine, I'm only a little sad.  For this means I become a
Captain in my own right, to take my own ship -- if you join us."

	I shook my head.  "If?"

	"Catherine," he said, "Please join us.  We need you.  You
have already shown us much, in one jump.  You are destined to Captain
a Great Ship." His eyes filled with tears; he was almost pleading
now.  "Catherine, you are destined to lead us."

	I looked overhead again, looking at the stars.  I could feel
them.  "I know," I said.

	As I looked with my eyes, I found myself looking with my
crown.  I breathed deep, breathing in the fabric of space-time.

	I felt the energy building again.  I was doing it.  I felt
their hands in mine.  "Yes, Catherine," his voice said.  I could feel
his joy, his support.  "Lead us, Catherine," she said.  I could feel
her sadness, and her joy.

	I breathed in the fabric of space.  I saw our destination.  I
wasn't hesitant starting our jump, I was unskilled.  But they helped,
guiding me.  I Willed us to our destination.  Not pushing, not
pulling, but Willing us there.  Ending the jump was easy.

	Space reappeared through the still roiling clouds of light
surrounding us.  They showed me how to move us, and we moved Ship to
see the twin moons of New Haven being illuminated by its sun.

	Our hands dropped.

	He said, "We must return to the bridge.  Landing still
requires the use of instrumentalities."

	I nodded.  "Thank you, Captain and Sir.  I promised someone I
would share planetfall."

	They held hands.  I could sense the rest of the crew moving
into action.  I could sense their surprise, their pleasure.

	I turned to go, but he stopped me.

	"Lady Catherine," he said, "You are one of us now.  Join us
on the bridge when you are able."

	She smirked, looking at me.  "We will provide you with
suitable clothing."

	I bowed to them.  "I thank you, my new Masters.  Teach me
well.  I have much to learn."

	You know of our return.  We made it in one jump.  And you
have probably seen the holo of me, standing in gray, beside my
Captain, announcing to all, that I was now Catherine in the Southern
Cross.

	The risk was small.  The reward was great.

FIN
Rev 10/3/2000


Risk and Reward
By artie@netgate.net
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www

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