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From: nexuswilson@nightmail.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} REVIEW - NEXUSWILSON 3
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 03:10:07 -0400
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All the reviews in this file may be used by the authors, their webmasters or other
agents in order to promote the relevant story provided that the credit is given to
me using the 4 lines at the end of this file.
Please don't slate the spelling, I just chuck these together and mail them off to the
writers, who nearly all reply 'cos no-one else does. Stories are for reading
pleasure so it matters. These are for info and discussion so it doesn't, and I've
got better things to do than spell checking this stuff. If you find mistakes in my
stories, that's a different matter!
Co-Ed Sex Party (M-f Mast, Voy)
From: lordcobalt@my-deja.com
This is posted as if it is a complete story, but in fact it appears to be just an
introduction. Robin has no real part in the story so far, during which Gina goes
from demanding monogomy in one sentence to agreeing to the pair of them shagging
half the campus the next. Still, nothing a little re-write can't fix, and the story
concept is great and has the promise to turn into an almost endless run of tales, or
even an novel, although not one that would ever get published anywhere but here!
Overall barely worth reading at present, but massive scope for development.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ****
Style ******
Spelling/Grammar ******
Storyline ***
Originality ****
Wood Factor *****
Portrait of a lady
From: beltorion@aol.com
This is a simple story, but very nicely written, of a day in a loving and humourous
relationship. The style makes it very easy to imagine it all happening to the
extent that I had the whole scene pictured in my mind, despite almost no physical
descriptions being offered.
Overall, the sort of story that makes you think you would actually like to take part
in it for real, and reminds you of similar episodes from your own life, leaving you
with a warm glow inside.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ****
Originality ******
Wood Factor ******
A kink offer
From: orestes007@hotmail.com
www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Orestes
An utterly brilliant piece of writing containing virtually none of my usual kinks
(I think I'd rather be shot than do what the hero of this story does)
but somehow still keeping me hard all the way through and dying to know what would
happen. If you were actually into this sort of thing I imagine you might print
copies in case you lost them.
Overall a seriously good storyline and superb writing style earn probably the best
set of marks ever awarded.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style *********
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline **********
Originality ********
Wood Factor *********
Peepers Pay (voy, group) by Lisa and Sharon
From: www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kristen/www/bymsap/index.htm
BYMSAP@aol.com
A great story of young lovers being seduced by older exhibitionists, which survives
changes of person brilliantly before the totally disasterous paragraph where Becka
compares the two penises. It never really recovers and the main sex scene is quite
disjointed, has too many 'totally's and some inapropriate descriptive phrases. Title
a bit iffy as well. Implies the price will not be nice.
Overall a great start but almost like someone else took over and finished it. If you
did do half each then I'm afraid to say that one of you is not as good as the other.
If so I wonder which is which? At least on my site is tells you who wrote each bit!
Scores (of 10) 1st half 2nd half
Reading enjoyment ********* ***
Style ******** **
Spelling/Grammar ****** ****
Storyline ***** *
Originality ******* **
Wood Factor ****** **
Unprotected Sex (MF, True)
From: www.angie-ken.com
lovers@unforgettable.com
An advert for their site, which I can't comment on as I've not viewed it yet, but
will be later. It's a nice enough little story though with a few bits and bobs
related to the site chucked on the end. Being real (so they say and I tend to
believe them) it's a bit boring but is on a rather unusual subject for this forum,
sex for the purpose of procreation, or at least the fantasy thereof.
Overall short but nice.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *****
Style ***
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ***
Originality *********
Wood Factor ******
D's Fantasy
From: MastrKink@excite.com
A short and slightly hammered out fantasy involving thumb tacks or drawing pins.
Could do with fleshing out a little but you definately get the feel that D might
well be a real person.
Overall short but nice.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style ******
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ****
Originality ********
Wood Factor *******
Joan
From: http://www.nyx.net/~anon3a9c/fair/entry.ssi
anon3a9c@nyx10.nyx.net
The writer asks 'Why did you read it if you don't like stories of that type?' Well
the answer is that I review at random. As it turns out this is one of the better
of this ilk with some storyline and pretty good writing skills. However there are
3 major flaws. One is that you just cannot imagine Damien walking in and catching
them like he does and another is that there is absolutely no chance whatsoever
that he would not be caught. And the woman is totally unconvincing in her acceptance
of her fate, unlike the man who is very convincing.
Overall, could be a superb story if the plot was worked on a bit. And if you have
a taste for this sort of stuff of course.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *****
Style *********
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ***
Originality *******
Wood Factor ***
Revenge Is Mine
From: KatieMcN@newsguy.com
A great story, but the writing style leaves something to be desired with lots of
quirky 'trying to be litery but not quite making it' lines. The Barb/Barbara
switches get a bit irritating. Several spell check errors. The initial meeting of
the 2 women seems OK at first but is a huge error on reflection. If you want to
engineer a meeting then breaking down in front of them and hoping they will do the
good samaritan is pretty shakey, especially in heavy traffic with someone who earns
over $2M. I kept thinking that someone like her would never give in so easily.
Overall quite erotic and bags of potential, but needs a fair bit more work. It
gives the impression that it was written in one go, spellchecked, but never proofed.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *******
Style ****
Spelling/Grammar *****
Storyline ******
Originality *****
Wood Factor ******
Are My Roommate and I Lesbians? (F/F, F-solo, shower)
From: perthman@my-deja.com
A VERY nice, well written story of lesbian fun. The writer brilliantly captures
the feel of 2 young women accidentaly starting a relationship and exploring their
newfound feelings. No amazing sexual antics, just the basic stuff you might
expect such a couple to do in real life.
Overall great writing style and very erotic.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style **********
Spelling/Grammar *********
Storyline ****
Originality ***
Wood Factor *********
Write Club duel: celia batau vs. Father Ignatius
From: pinataheart@bigplanet.com
fatherignatius@hotmail.com
I know as well as anyone how difficult writing projects are. This is actually 2
stories written in 3 hours using a set of key words. Both are very arty, confusing,
and have little sex content. An extra n in the FI story. Lets hope FI does not
practice what he preaches! I bet someone's already cracked that one.
Overall both pretty good results competition wise but not so hot on the sex front.
Not surprising really given the constraints. both could be improved with more time
and proofing.
Scores (of 10) cb fi
Reading enjoyment *** **
Style **** *****
Spelling/Grammar ********** *********
Storyline *** *******
Originality ** *********
Wood Factor ** *
All For Love - Ch.1 - M/F oral/bottle.
From: alunrob@excite.com
A story of Essex girls (bimbos) and boy. If women being degraded by their own lack
of intelligence is your thing then you might like this, but it is pure stroke and
the style (a parody) is peculiar to a small area of SE England, which most will not
really understand outside the UK.
Wayne certainly drives a clapped out, souped up ford but
the story does not give any indication that there is any chance of us getting into
this sort of detail. We don't even get descriptions of the charcters. One spell
check error.
Overall, this story would be best developed as a total parody of Essex life, but a
lot more detail effort would be required to really succeed.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ****
Style ****
Spelling/Grammar *******
Storyline ***
Originality ****
Wood Factor ****
ORGY CLUB The Initiation
From: gafthehorseintears@fuckyou.co.uk
That's one hell of an e'mail! This story is one of those orgy ones that start really
well before getting lost in a myriad of names, descriptions and orgasms. At first I
thought Cathy's blindfold would ensure this was not the case. The story is supposedly
about her initiation and the writer should have stuck to this as it showed all the
makings of being a really superb tale. Everything else about it is superb except that
you have to imagine the charcters being somewhat older than the writer states to make
it believable.
Overall excellent, but could be even better with a bit more focus.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *******
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar ********
Storyline ******
Originality *****
Wood Factor *******
Subscriber #14 (Mf, cheat, oral, anal, Mdom)
From: bryen193@aol.com
Wow. What an incredible story. Somehow the writer makes the obvious fact that even
a 12" penis can't give you the power to seduce women and make them into total fuck
sluts over night on a regular basis irrelevant. I knew what was coming but couldn't
stop reading. The only real gripe I have is with the ending, which I thought a little
lame. After all why inherit a fuck slut and never use her! A more fitting fate
might be to make her a permanent film star? I got the feeling that the last para was
rushed out without much thought just to get it finished. One really stupid spell
check error.
Overall great but needs a bit of a re-write at the end.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment *********
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar ******
Storyline *******
Originality **********
Wood Factor ******
The Ritual (mf)
From: henlar@hotmail.com
The word had is missing from the 1st para, another from the 2nd, another from the
3rd, a variety of spellcheck errors throughout... The author makes a play of
thanking his proofreaders but they're slacking a bit with this one. Having said that
this is a great story combining a real story, an orgy and first sex, which has got
to be unusual. It is written in the style of a kid telling the story and amazingly
the writer pretty much gets away with both that and the seemingly outrageous story
line.
Overall great but needs a tidy up.
Scores (of 10)
Reading enjoyment ********
Style ********
Spelling/Grammar *******
Storyline *******
Originality **********
Wood Factor ******
This review is by nexuswilson@hotmail.com
if you would like a free read, or the chance to get your own back, then
the reviewers stories are on his site at
www.pornoz.com/alterotica
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