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Subject: {ASSM} From TxM6 Forced Dream Journal I
Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 15:10:21 -0400
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From TxM6 Taxi Murders Sextet Hyperfiction Novel
http://www.taximurders.com/ (updated August 13, 2000)
TxM6 is entirely a work of fiction for adults only.
Copyright (c) 2000 Sean Farragher
1038Xfallonforced
Dream Journals I & Diary
April 11, 1992 to February 14, 1993
Kidnapped by the man called Able and the woman called Lilith,
Laurie Catherine Fallon, seven months pregnant at the time of
her abduction wrote the history of her Life online to a dead
end terminal. She did it to survive. Order by her captors to
put her mind out there, she survived and more. (Henry Whitman
6/1995)
The Journals Themselves
[Free Association as Henry taught when I was 14.]
At first, it didn't matter what she wrote. She could have
written over and over. "my name is Laurie and I was born
October 20, 1965 and am twenty-six years old and not a fucken
virgin. I could have been truth and shit like that at the
same time.
"Watching my every breath, Lilith insisted that I lie,"
Laurie wrote in an article for the Times Sunday Magazine long
after the events. The cunt told me to make it hot, erotic,
and prurient. Whispering directions in my ear, she fondled my
breasts while I wrote. I remember screaming at her to untie
my feet, but when I complained she pinched my nipples or cut
lines in my shoulder with a razor. "Make it so my brother
gets off on it." Lilith lifted the weight of my breast with
her cupped hand.
Able was very different, Laurie continued. "When I wrote, he
never touched me. He made up for it when I went to sleep. I
slept between the brother and sister.
Abel insisted I tell the truth, and rewarded me if I
interpreted the printout so that it appeared that I loved
him. He made me read it aloud to him while he masturbated."
"I soon found out that if I didn't say I loved him, he would
rape me, becoming more violent if I resisted. At the end,
killing him was like killing a child. I had no choice."
Eventually, Laurie found pleasure in her words. She said, "At
first, I did it out of necessity. If I didn't write, I didn't
eat. On the other hand, If I let them know that the writing
gave me pleasure, well, maybe they would have stopped me. It
was a delicate balance. All the time I pretended what I
needed, I kept Henry and Aaron and Angela in my text. Their
love sustained me. After a longer time, and especially after
my daughter, Molly, was born, I wrote to satisfy myself, and
for some reason, that is what they wanted. I have no idea
why, and afterwards, it didn't matter. I became the words and
them."
Interview with Laurie Fallon
By Peter Campbell, Managing Editor,
Bergen Sentinel, Hackensack, NJ
October 24, 1994
PC: How did the writing start. You had written poetry. You
knew something of the process. How did the first days go? I
know I had a hard time as a POW in NAM writing with a fucken
weapon against my head.
Laurie: I didn't know what to do at first. My words were not
there. Many of those early disks were erased. All Maria
wanted was sex and all Abel wanted was love. It got easier.
One thing, in the beginning, if I didn't write explicitly
that I loved him, Abel would insist on making love for hours.
If I resisted, Lilith would hold me down and insist that Abel
rape me. As far as I was concerned it was all rape.
Something changed during the writing, at the end, I was the
one who insisted. And the more I insisted, the gentler he
became. I hated that Lilith watched. When she had me, and she
did many, many times, I allowed it, and pretended she was
Angela. I only did it with Angela twice. With all my
experience you think there would be more. I was grateful for
Angela. Without her and my memory of Henry and Aaron and some
others, I don't think I would have lived..
PC: What did you think of Lilith and why and how did you kill
her?
All I wanted to do was fuck up that woman. That was my
fantasy those first days and every day until she was dead.
When I strangled her ironically, I became her. I did it after
the child she carried was born. Abel was not there. The
infant was a month early. It seemed full term. I brought the
infant to a safe house and left it there and then I called
the police so it would be found right away. In fact, I waited
there, out of sight, and made sure they came. I returned home
to tell Able. I had no idea what he would do. He said, "Good.
Is the girl safe? He seemed sad it was a girl. When we went
to bed, he couldn't get it up, and insisted on making me
come. That wasn't the first time I faked it. He never
mentioned his sister Lilith again, and I thought I had won.
What, I had no idea? That next morning, eating an orange,
strange the details you remember, he said the strangest
thing: "Know I've done bad things. Can't change them. He
asked why I didn't leave him when I had the chance. Did I
want to murder him? He said he deserved it. I couldn't
believe the conversation. It made me very depressed and sad.
For some reason I felt like I was the cause of his suffering.
I hugged him and we walked outside near the Hudson River
under the Palisades. I remembered thinking that I he was a
lovely man, so handsome. We talked for days, and I discovered
that Abel was Antonio, and I insisted he call himself by his
given name.
PC: Did you want to be there? Did you think about your
family? No one understands why you didn't run.
Where could I go? I was Ariel or Sheila not Laurie.
Who would have taken Sheila in?
Did you know that I murdered Ariel twice. First, when I set
the fire that killed her when she was a girl. Second time,
when I allowed her to be captured by the police.
I should have killed myself instead of shooting Antonio.
One more thing. I did it twice you know. After my daughter
Molly was born, Lilith wanted to murder the child. Abel
wouldn't let her. I promised to return to them if they would
release Molly. I took them to the place where Molly could be
safely left. I wasn't alone, but I might have gotten away,
once I knew Molly was safe.
I thought I loved the man I then called Antonio, his given
name. Actually, love is what got me through this whole fucken
mess.
When I mind fucked myself, Henry, Aaron, Angela, and many
others, I escaped the torture, and I kept the child I carried
alive. When that child was safe, I had no place to return. I
don't remember the exact moment I became Ariel-Sheila.
There was no one moment. By the time I murdered Lilith and
almost murdered her child I had one lover, his name was Antonio.
Laurie believed she had fallen in love with her captors. She
identified with them, sympathized, and began to see herself
as separate from the person, Laurie, captured on April 10,
1992. By the birth of her daughter (June 16, 1992), she
refused to acknowledge the name Laurie, and called herself
Sheila-Ariel (Sheela-na-gig) after her long dead twin sister.
By the act of murder Laurie finally became Sheila and had
usurped the guilt she felt and was made to know by the guilty.
Laurie Talks about TxM6 in 2001.
During Laurie/Sheila's capture, on Valentine's Day 1993,
Laurie accidentally kills Abel while Antonio guns down Malachi.
The Police charge Laurie with the murder of Lilith. Tried
and Convicted, Laurie pardoned in 2001 writes the story of
her fable.
Written in prison, Taxi Murders Sextet tells the events more
than one story or one novel. I discovered hyperlinks in
prison. I was sentenced to life without parole and they
fucken trained me on computers so I could teach inmates.
As Laurie said in the foreword to the manuscript.
"Why do I call the novel a sextet"?
"There are six generations, six characters, and six or more
possible outcomes. I want to share them all and to affirm
that my accidental murder of the police officer had been set
in motion long ago. I am not shirking my complicity, my
accountability. I am responsible for the accident but, I
believe, not culpable for "the murder" of the Detective. It
was as much an accident as being captured by Abel and Lilith
and held prisoner, beaten, raped, and forced to love.
"Final note: I learned during the research that retired
Detective Mac Donagh was not only a distant relative, but was
my mother's first lover and my father. He never abused me
and everyone else did. "Truth is stranger than fiction."
More American Adventures in erotica and other works by Sean Farragher:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Sean_Farragher/
Sean Farragher
Poetry Site: http://www.farragher.com (updated 8/13/2000)
TxM6 Sites:
http://www.taximurders.com
http://www.taximurders.com/enfer
http://www.taximurders.com/lcfallon
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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