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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Annex Reviews, 8/5/00
Date: Sun, 6 Aug 2000 00:10:13 -0400
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The Annex Reviews, 8/5/00
by Lady Cyrrh (ladycyrrh@aol.com)
Website: http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh OR
http://home.aol.com/ladycyrrh
The stories:
Heaven in Leather (Knobbie Knobbs): M/F, cons, motorcycles
Dear Agent Stanton (Jimmy Hat): M/f teen, mast, cybersex
Ice (Margie Donnadieu): M/F, anal, pickups
Had to Happen (bjcochran): M/M, cons, Star Trek
Website Review: Number 6
Heaven in Leather [A]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/18/00
Author: Knobbie Knobbs
Address: nobby.nobbs@virgin.net
Website: http://e_space.tripod.com/tales/rom.html
I love the name of this author. Even though he says it's inspired by a
character in a fantasy book, I can't help but seeing...other things.
The story started out like a standard "this really happened to me" first
person tale, but soon rose above it, taking the reader along for a smooth,
seductive ride. A guy sees a beautiful woman in skin-tight red leather
on a motorcycle, and is naturally attracted:
I couldn't get the thought of that woman on the Suzuki out of my head
and I was troubled by an annoying erection. Eventually had to beat off
in the bog. I would have preferred to satisfy my needs with one of the
girls working on the checkouts, but even if I had the authority to get
them a few minuets break, I doubted any of them would have obliged
me. As I was locked in the cubicle, cock in hand, I was hoping nobody
would come in and catch me. I didn't know how long it was going to take
me to come, having already done so once that day. In fact I shot off
really quickly, and powerful, healthy squirts they were, too.
He discovers she works at a local bank, and seeing her in a prim skirt
and sweater, he's suddenly awkward. But she becomes the aggressor,
casually inviting him out for a spin and an innocent ""Fancy a walk?"
in a deserted field...where the narrator finally gets his desire, and a
mildly nasty trick.
In sum, very well done for a short, basic M/F tale.
Dear Agent Stanton [A]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/26/00
Author: Jimmy Hat
Address: jimmy@jimmy-hat.com
Website: http://www.jimmy-hat.com
Jimmy Hat has written a humorous series of stories about Federal agents
Stanton and Maytag, who investigate web crimes of a sexual nature. The
previous story I read, "Unexceptional" had them investigating a poster
on swingers' message boards who claims to be a well-hung black man
available for interracial threesomes; instead of playing, though, he robs
the hapless couple who solicited him. "Unexceptional" veered off into
amusing territory when the two agents set up a sting to trap him and
attract a real well-hung black man, who is out to prove that size doesn't
matter, skill does.
"Dear Agent Stanton" handles the same sort of material: sexual cliches
that are turned around, but are still arousing. A teenage girl writes to
the two agents for help, claiming entrapment by a "weird" guy she's
been swapping bits with in an online chat room, even though what he
says to her is simply sage advice ("He says it's always been that way, that
girls mature faster than guys and that the boys just can't handle it
sometimes.") The girl's post-feminist cluelessness and naivete is
amusing at first ("He starts talking about stuff like the "madonna-whore
complex", and it's weird, because that sounds like some sort of MTV
weekend") then oddly spooky -- and arousing -- when talk turns toward
sex, and she turns out to be not a virginal young thing, but a Grade-A
Slut too dim to realize the primal bimbodom of her nature:
I shook my ass a little bit and heard him taking pictures but he wasn't
saying anything. "You still alive, Bill?" I asked. I turned back around
and saw that he was alive, and so was the bulge in his khakis. I got a
little inspired then and decided to thank Bill for his help and give Scott
a real show at the same time. I unzipped his pants and started to blow
him. Bill moaned a lot.
I thought about pulling the vinyl underwear aside and letting him fuck
me a little, but I could tell he was going to cum soon. I threw off the
"Prom Queen" and stroked him until he came over my tits. I wasn't going
to let him cum on my face, no matter how grateful I was.
I had the feeling the story was asking the question, "Who's the real
pervert here?" but I wasn't sure; the teen's adventures are depicted a bit
too lovingly for a nasty parody on the order of, say, Assmaster McStuff's
"Girl Talk," which also featured cybersex complete with orders. Though
it's obviously *some* sort of parody. Still, it was a worthy read, and the
author has an excellent ear for depicting contemporary teens (though
I'm not sure that teen boys would be as hot for facials as they are in the
story.)
Ice [B]
Where posted: ASSM
When posted: 7/18/00
Author: Margie Donnadieu
Address: margie_donnadieu@yahoo.com
This story, which is very short (about 750 words) is a stream-of-
consciousness narration from a woman in her 30s, a counselor, who
ploughs through a string of unfulfilling relationships and one-night-
stands without really knowing why, and without connecting with any
of her partners. She makes references to a witch in an old folktale who
was entombed in ice for seducing other women's husbands, and the
story's conceit is that the narrator identifies with her: she too seduces
other women's men, and is cursed by the frostiness of her feelings.
This wasn't quite a sex story, which celebrates sex (even if it's harmful
sex) -- it's more an anti-sex story, or a therapy story, which some
psychologists encourage patients to write as a means of dealing with
their negative experiences. As such, I didn't exactly find it sexy, or felt
it said anything new about a woman's sexual feelings, as the narrator
seemed to have no feelings at all. As such, I can't rate it very highly,
even though the writing was OK and it was organized well.
Had to Happen [B/B+]
Where posted: ASCEM
When posted: 7/25/00
Author: Bridget Cochran
Address: bjcochran@aol.com
Tom Paris and Chakotay are fucking like monkeys when Chakotay gets a
bad feeling. Specifically, "...a horrible, horrible feeling about what was
going to happen. That this was the last time for a long time. Maybe
forever. He didn't want to think that way, but nothing in the Maquis
was permanent except anger, and a niggling dread. " A day later, poor
Tom flies into a Starfleet ambush and gets arrested, leaving Chakotay,
we presume, coldcocked.
The story was short but all the slashy elements were there: the jar of
lube, the enthusiastically described but somehow clinical sex, the lack
of emotional context, the sound-bite dialogue. As such, I got frustrated
with it. On the whole I enjoy Treksmut, but just once, I'd like a little
more background and more hard work and sweat on the part of the
authors. But hey, I could say the same thing about a lot of ASS porn.
Website Review: Number 6
Address: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Owner: Number 6
Date reviewed: 7/30/00
The identity of this writer seems to have been inspired by the lead
character of the 60s British spy show "The Prisoner" in which a secret
agent who knows too much about certain things is banished to a
mysterious island where he's constantly tested, psychologically, to find
out which enemies he's talked to and what he's let spill. It was a product
of the Cold War and swingin' London both, and it was a lot of fun. In
retrospect, it was also pretty kinky, as the hero was beaten, tied up, and
tortured a lot.
However, the fantastic influence of the show seems to have extended
only to the author's name, as the stories were rooted in the mundane
world rather than the fantastic. Most were on the short, compact side
(under 1,000 words) and written in a stream-of-consciousness
way...slice-of-life, in other words, the erotic equivalent of a quickly
taped "confessional" on a TV virtual-reality show. I picked six stories for
my review, out of a catalog of 36. All had cryptic one-word titles. In
"Pear" the narrator falls in lust with a co-worker with a taste for the
juicy fruit, but she's more interested in fucking his cubicle-mate, while
in "Evangelists" the narrator is obsessed enough with a girl that he
joins her church. In "Arrogance" and "Vows" a woman wavers between
her husband and another flame, in its gender opposite, "Hell," a man
fucks the slutty daughter of a slutty ex-girlfriend he knew years before,
and suffers for it. In "Tiger" it's a lobbiest's lust for a senator; trying
to
climb the rungs, she fucks his aide. If there's a theme to them, it's
voyeurism, observation, and indecisiveness. The characters exhibit
contradictory sexual behavior, but don't know why, and if you could ask
them about it, they'd probably go "Huh? I do? Well, no big deal."
The stories were an easy read, and I had the feeling they were dashed
off very quickly. Though the writing was OK, they were missing a
certain...something. The tone was straightforward, almost journalistic,
but the characters had neither a plot or character development, and no
conclusions were reached either by them or the author about the
outcomes of their behavior. This made the stories ultimately
unsatisfying for me; I found the sexy parts neither erotic (sensual
description) or particularly hot (sordid, porny description). In fact they
were rather flat, the style reminiscent of certain progressive 70s fiction
where characters "ball" and "fuck" in a deadpan way to show us how
cool and un-hungup they are. "Tiger" came the closest to being a fully
developed story, but even that felt truncated, undeveloped...a sketch of a
story rather than the story itself. To be fair the author called these
"quick sketches to buckets of paint thrown large against a
canvas...products of a deranged mind, where fantasy and reality,
delusion and experience rip each other's clothes off and fuck in a giant
orgy of uncontrolled primal lust or stare at each other, unrequited,
across a crowded room" which means, I guess, that they are of a
throwaway nature, but the fact that I read four of them two weeks
before writing this, and had to look again at the printouts to refresh my
memory as I'd forgotten them completely, doesn't bode well for being a
writer who wants to grab people by the throat.
In sum, the website was OK, competent but slightly disappointing. But if
you want some quick reads you could do worse than this.
Interface: B+
Content: B/B+
Will I visit again: Probably not.
________________________________________________________________
Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com
Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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