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Subject: {ASSM} Celestial Reviews 365 June 11
Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 00:10:09 -0400
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Celestial Reviews 365 - June 11, 2000
Note: I'm at a low point in my interest in writing these reviews. Therefore,
I'm going to take a summer break.
I originally started writing these reviews partly as a public service in the
hope that I could help improve the quality of writing on the a.s.s.*
newsgroups. The quality of stories in this newsgroup certainly HAS improved.
By that I mean that even though there are still some extremely poor stories
posted here, there assuredly are a lot more excellent and above average
stories than there were before I started writing the reviews. Although I
don't claim complete credit for this, I suspect that I have in some way
contributed to this improvement.
However, I think that the discussion in a.s.s.d. (which was practically
non-existent when I started writing the reviews) may serve much the same
purpose that I originally intended my reviews to serve. In short, the public
service supplied by these reviews seems to have diminished, and I have to
rely solely on the fun of writing the reviews to keep me productive.
Right now, based on the comments I see in a.s.s.d., it seems to me that my
reviews are more of a source of irritation than of help. People are posting
requests that I not review their stories and appear to be seriously upset
that somebody has the temerity to say that she doesn't like a story. I don't
get my jollies by hurting people's feelings, and reviewing only stories that
I am guaranteed to love just doesn't sound like fun.
I don't follow a.s.s.d. as completely as some of you do; and so this may have
been discussed in detail. However, I have serious trouble understanding why a
person would think he/she has a right to post a story (or a review, for that
matter) in a public forum and NOT expect people to comment on it.
One of the most depressing things I see here is the tendency for people who
get "bad" reviews to insinuate (or blatantly proclaim) that I "haven't even
read their stories." I suppose sometimes I read with less than perfect
comprehension; and OFTEN I get a meaning other than what the writer intended
to say. But I'm not sure that the failure in communication has been entirely
or even predominantly my fault. Some people do a bad job of communicating
what they want to say and just prefer to blame the faulty communication on
someone else. I'm sure I do make mistakes and that sometimes there are simply
factors that I just don't understand. However, the fact is, when an author
finds that a serious reader with a reputation for being capable of
understanding clear writing has misunderstood him/her, it's often the fault
of the writer, not the reader.
My students often have a similar problem with criticism. When somebody
doesn't understand what they wrote or said, it's the fault of the reader or
listener. "Heck, I knew that!" they say. "Well, I can only go by what you
wrote," I reply. Students who take this attitude almost never improve their
communication skills - until they become more mature and learn to handle
criticism more effectively.
I am not denying the right of my readers or my students to reject my
criticisms. All I am saying is that people are much more likely to improve if
they consider the possibility that they could use the negative feedback to
learn to express themselves better.
I think the carping about reviews on a.s.s.d. is scaring away some of my
guest reviewers. Of the last six stories I sent out to guest reviewers, I
received only three reviews back. I personally think the guest reviewers have
served a useful purpose. I have learned a lot from some of their reviews and
have found some good stories to read - without having any responsibility to
review them myself.
As I have stated very, very often, I am aware that my reviews are not really
reviews in a pure sense. They are ESSAYS that discuss stories and often talk
about a lot of other things. I have tried to have fun with them, and a lot of
readers seem to have enjoyed these "reviews."
I think I have pissed off some people whom I think I would like and with whom
I would agree if I had more time to spend with them. I'm sorry about that. I
really am.
My assumption has always been that people could ignore my reviews as easily
as I can ignore their stories. A lot of people have enjoyed these reviews,
and I apologize for this temporary burnout. It's nothing personal, and I'll
probably be back. I just thought I should give a reason for not being around
for a while and for not reviewing some of the stories that have been sent to
me for review.
I plan to enjoy my family life and to get my novel into print this summer.
The novel is tentatively entitled "Suburban Cowgirl." It's about a woman who
-" oddly enough - writes reviews for a Usenet Newsgroup. In the novel I try
to do what a lot of good authors have done on this newsgroup - develop a
solid plot that contains sexual activity as an important component. As I said
last week, I have written both an expurgated and an unexpurgated version of
the book. I plan to publish the expurgated version in such a way as to have a
shot at the Top 10 lists (by marketing it in bookstores, supermarkets, and
such places) and still let me keep my anonymity. Then I'll give away the
missing parts as stand-alone stories on the Newsgroup.
I really COULD use a good literary agent who is interested in working on such
a project. If you know one, let me know. I have been writing for free for so
long that I have lost touch with the world of writing for profit.
Second note: I have only four stories to review in this issue. Here they are:
Celestial Reviews Index:
"Missy, JD, and the Night" by The Mysterious Mr. Lee Organization (teenage ff
love) 9, 9, 9
http://x62.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=623535939
"On the 4 PM Express" by ka winds (foot fetish exhibitionism) 10, 8, 7
http://x55.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=618472318
"Suburban Folk Tales - Cybersex " by Virago Blue (cybersex masturbation)
http://x51.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=632098944
"Tales of the Booty Bandit, vol.1: The St. Mary's School for Troubled Girls"
by MichaelD (illegal legal sex) 10, 10, 10
http://x58.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=631770404
Here are the Reviews:
"Missy, JD, and the Night" by The Mysterious Mr. Lee Organization
(TheMrLee@hotmail.com).
http://x62.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=623535939
Two young girls watch "Thelma and Louise" on videotape together in one of
their bedrooms. They decide that even though the movie didn't say so
outright, maybe the women in the movie were lesbians. Otherwise, why would
they be willing to die together? Next thing we know, the two girls are making
tender love to each other.
I think this sort of thing happens a lot more often than most people think. I
also think it's dangerous - or at least maladaptive - to conclude that you
"are" homosexual on the basis of a single sexual experience like this, no
matter how enjoyable it might be. I thought I should point that out one more
time, since I'm not going to be preaching around here for a while.
Ratings for "Missy, JD, and the Night"
Athena (plot & character): 9
Venus (technical quality): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"On the 4 PM Express" by ka winds (wmwinds@hotmail.com).
http://x55.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=618472318
I read this story a long time ago and wrote a summary for my review, but then
I forgot that I had written it. So I'll post it now.
The woman is riding a train home from work. She sees a guy ogling her.
Specifically, he seems to be enchanted with her sexy feet. So she gives him a
show without anyone else knowing it. He responds by covering his lap with his
jacket and having a private party of his own. Even without direct contact, a
good time is had by both.
Those of you who are outright foot fetishists will probably enjoy this little
story more than other readers.
Ratings for "On the 4 PM Express"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Suburban Folk Tales - Cybersex " by Virago Blue (VBwrites@aol.com).
http://x51.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=632098944
After some preliminaries, Jessica sits down at the computer to get some work
done. She's not really comfortable with the computer, and so she's pleasantly
surprised when the computer makes sexual advances to her and encourages her
to masturbate. You heard me right. It's a new type of cybersex.
Ratings for "Cybersex"
Athena (plot & character): 9
Venus (technical quality): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Tales of the Booty Bandit, vol.1: The St. Mary's School for Troubled Girls"
by MichaelD (MichaelD38@aol.com).
http://x58.deja.com/=gh/getdoc.xp?AN=631770404
The narrator is a lawyer who has to do some work with Sister Margaret
O'Reamme of the St. Mary's School for Troubled Girls.
The author makes a derogatory remark about "expecting some withered old hag
in one those big flaring habits, something like Sally Field in 'The Flying
Nun.'" What's this guy got against Sally Field? Instead of flying, this
Sister Margaret runs a halfway house. She brings a genuine brunette troubled
girl with her to the first meeting with the lawyer. By the way, the lawyer's
name is Boutey, which rhymes with Booty.
The brunette troubled girl's name is Jaime, and she's a virgin pyromaniac.
There's a pun about hot sex in that statement, but I'm not going to tell you
about it.
In short, Mr. Boutey uses some unusual strategies to save ole St. Mary's.
This is a good story - not the hottest sex I've seen from this author, but
still a very creative effort. And Vol. 2 is yet to come.
Ratings for "Tales of the Booty Bandit"
Athena (plot & character): 10
Venus (technical quality): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
<end>
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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