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Subject: {ASSM} Evangelism (humor)
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2000 15:10:02 -0500
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This work of fiction is for the entertainment of adults in locations
where it is legal. If it is illegal in your location, don't read it!
This work is copyrighted. Reposting or any other use is strictly
prohibited without the express, written permission of the copyright
holder. E-mail me, I'll probably give you permission. I just want to
know and control where it is posted. This story may be posted as part
of a review or to free-access, non-commercial archive sites.
Tell me what you liked, or didn't like. Please!
E-mail address: tradesjackofall@hotmail.com
Copyright 2000 by Jack of all Trades
I was in a wierd frame of mind for this. I blame it on the flu I was
fighting. :>
Evangelism
"The Power of the Word network is proud to present the Reverend Bryce
Fullmer and his wife Constance," the announcer shouted into his
microphone.
Reverend Fullmer smiled into the camera. "Hello friends and welcome
to our show, 'Save Our Souls'. The lord Jesus Christ wants to welcome
you into his arms."
"Would you look at that blouse Marcie's wearing," the Reverend Fullmer
thought, "Christ her tits are practically spilling out of it."
"Not as bad as I'd like to welcome that stud behind the camera into my
arms," Constance Fullmer thought.
"Our ministry welcomes everyone, who professes a love of Jesus Christ,
isn't that right Constance?"
Constance smiled sweetly into the camera. "That's right Bryce, rich
or poor, black or white it doesn't matter as long as you want to save
your soul." Constance frowned. "But Bryce it costs money to save
souls."
The Reverend Fullmer shook his head sadly. "It does, it does." The
reverend smiled a beatific smile. "Folks I want to introduce you to a
young lady who has just joined our ministry, please welcome Cathy
Barnes."
Cathy Barnes strolled across the stage and took the seat next to
Reverend Fullmer. Her dress cut just low enough to offer a
tantalizing view of her cleavage. "Slut!" Constance thought to
herself.
"Welcome to the show, Cathy," Reverend Fullmer said.
"Thank you Reverend."
"Cathy approached me with a problem after our show last week, didn't
you Cathy?"
"The only problem that slut has is keeping her legs closed," Constance
thought.
"That's right Reverend."
"What was the problem Cathy?"
"The devil had taken over me," Cathy said softly.
Constance gasped theatrically. "Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer and save
this soul," she murmured.
"What did I do?" Reverend Fullmer asked.
"Probably fucked her until she passed out," thought Constance.
Cathy smiled the smile of the saved. "You drove the devil from my
body," she said.
Reverend Fullmer thought about that exorcism. How he had explored
every nook and cranny of that body, searching out the devil and
driving it from her. He especially loved being deep in her bowels
while she moaned and writhed underneath him as the devil left her and
the rapture of God overtook her. "What did I do then?" he asked.
"You baptized me."
"Yes I did." Reverend Fullmer could picture her lying there. Thick
ropy strands of semen covering her face from forehead to chin.
"Praise the Lord," Constance shouted.
"Yes praise the Lord," Reverend Fullmer said. "Friends I want to save
more people like Cathy." He patted Cathy's hand. "But as Constance
pointed out it takes help from you to make it possible. We need your
love offerings to allow our ministry to grow and save more souls." He
glanced over at Marcie, her tits still threatening to burst out of her
blouse. "I'd like to shoot a love offering all over them," he
thought.
"We need your offerings so that we can save others like my sister in
Christ, Cathy," Constance said. "I wonder if the slut knows how to
lick a pussy," she thought. "For a limited time, if you send in an
offering of $25 or more, we will send you this beautiful Bible
autographed by Reverend Fullmer and me. Please be generous."
"Yes friends, be generous. Souls are at stake. Our Lord Jesus Christ
needs all the soldiers we can muster for him in his battle against
Satan." Reverend Fullmer pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.
"Friends I want to read a letter I received this week from Gina
Stevens who lives in Sacramento. "Dear Reverend, I need your help."
"I bet she does," thought Constance.
"Satan has a hold of me. He makes me do wicked and depraved things."
"That ought to be right up your alley, Bryce," thought Constance.
"I pray, but it seems like God doesn't hear my prayers. Please help
me save my soul! Signed Gina Stevens. Well Gina, God has heard your
prayers! I'm going to drive Satan from your body just like I did for
Cathy here. Our friends in Sacramento have found Gina and even now
she is on her way to our church. I will save her soul!" he shouted.
"Praise God!" Constance shouted. "Christ just what we need, another
fucking slut for him to play with," she thought. "How come
well-muscled guys hung like horses never need to be saved?" she
wondered.
"You know Constance and I were praying to God last night, asking him
for guidance." "That's not quite true," he thought, "Constance was
the one talking to God and moaning in tongues while my cock pounded in
and out of her juicy snatch."
"God told us to search out people possessed by Satan. To drive Satan
from their bodies and to wrap them in his ever loving arms. Folks
help us do God's work. You don't have to send us $25, send what you
can afford. Ask yourselves, what's more important than saving our
souls?"
"Amen," moaned Constance.
"Cut, that's a wrap," screamed Marcie, her breasts heaving at the
effort.
Bryce Fullmer walked over to her, leering down at her breasts. "That'
s quite a blouse," he said.
Marcie smiled up at him. "This thing? I don't know why I wore it. I
guess it was just the devil in me," she said winking at him.
--
Jack of all Trades
E-mail: tradesjackofall@hotmail.com
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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