Hi, I’m Jane Dundas and I’m 35. Never married, the right guy never showed up. Every time I bagged me a man, he either saw a newer model he liked or discovered that he liked men (that only happened twice). I’m six feet three inches tall and 150 pounds of which 30 pounds are my breasts. If you really must know, I’m 36D – 25 – 36 (I developed early and never stopped). You can say that I’m a big girl. I’m a natural brunette, but tried the bottled blonde thing (big mistake). I have a gym in the basement that I use about four times a week. At the end of a long day, I like to relax by pumping iron while listening to Iron Maiden or watching the tube. I’ve had my share of failed relationships and one-night-stands, but I’ve slowed down recently. Mind you if I’m at a bar or club, I still have the circle of sharks swimming around me. Some nights, I’ll let one of them into my pond, but not that often now that I live in the suburbs.
I had recently moved into a new two story Tudor style house in a mature neighborhood. The garden and backyard were gorgeous but needed a lot of upkeep. The backyard was surrounded by shrubs and flowers of every color imaginable sprouted from the numerous flowerbeds. I had a little piece of heaven here and all the privacy I wanted. I would often sit in a deck chair or my hammock and snooze the day away in my garden. It was that peaceful.
My next-door neighbors welcomed me on the day I moved in. Erin and Duncan Mills were older than me (early-40’s) and a very handsome couple. Erin was tall, blonde (albeit not a true one), green eyes, very fit and just drop-dead gorgeous about 5’ 5” 120 pounds and I guessed a 34C-25-34. Duncan was also tall and trim, with a shock of brown hair and the most beautiful pair of green eyes I had ever seen. They had an 18 tear old son, Don that I hadn’t met yet, but if he was nearly as gorgeous as his father, then, watch out girls.
After a few months living in the neighborhood, we had become quite good friends, but I still hadn’t met Don yet. I dress quite provocatively and was always teasing Duncan with my skimpy outfits when I lounged in yard or did gardening. On a Saturday, I was picking dead leaves off my rose bushes when Erin came over to bum a smoke. I was wearing a halter top and cut off jeans. And I mean these jeans were CUT OFF, if it was dark and I was in these shorts, you would swear that there was a half moon out. I went into the house and got us some beers and we sat in my backyard.
“Duncan came home drunk last night.” Erin started. “He’s been doing that a lot now since he’s been put on overseas flights.” (Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, Duncan’s a pilot and Erin’s a high school teacher. I am fortunately, independently wealthy having been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.) Erin continued, “He golfs everyday then stays at the clubhouse with his buddies until all hours. He’s been doing that for months.”
I offered, “At least he’s not cheating on you.”
“At least he’s not cheating on me.” Erin repeated sadly. “But I miss him so much.”
“He’s home though, what do you mean you miss him?” I asked, probing further.
“We haven’t been intimate in months. I’ve been thinking that he has been cheating on me.” I could sense that she was getting all wound up.
“Have him followed.” I didn’t want to get involved, but I had to know more.
“Will you help me?” Erin asked.
Me and my big mouth, I thought. “You could hire someone, like a P.I.”
“I couldn’t do that. Those guys all seem so greasy and slimy.” She said in revulsion.
“Then do it yourself.” I countered.
“I will, but you’ll help me.” She pleaded.
“Oh no, it was just an idea.” I retreated and took another cigarette out and lit it. I passed it to Erin who drew from it deeply.
“Pleeeeease.” She implored.
“No.” I said firmly.
“Pretty please.” She beseeched.
“No again.” I was definite.
“Pretty please with cherries on it.” She was begging.
“Okay sure.” I can’t stand a grown woman begging like this.
“Good, let’s go to the club.” She said happily and guzzled down the rest of her beer. She got out of the deck chair and stretched. My eyes locked onto her smooth long legs and traveled to her firm ass and stomach, her ass was encased in the tightest white shorts possible and her breasts firmly jutted out of her little white-cropped t-shirt with a hint of nipple. Her blonde hair shone brilliantly in the summer sun. Wow, she was hot. This woman could have any man she…
“I said, let’s go.” Erin grabbed my wrists and yanked me out of my chair.
“You mean now?” I wasn’t ready. I had to shower and change.
“Now.” She said urgently. “He should be golfing now, then he’ll do whatever he’ll do.”
“What have I gotten myself into.” I thought as I put on my cap and followed Erin to her car.
She threw her Ford Expedition into reverse and we were off. How inconspicuous, Erin and Jane P.I.’s in their lime green monster SUV.
“Yeah, he should be on the eight hole by now. If we get to the clubhouse in time, we would be able to see him tee off at the ninth.” Erin was possessed with her thoughts as we raced through the streets.
I leafed through her CD collection. Simon and Garfunkel, The Bangles, Abba, Manilow. I snuck a look at her. Manilow? Dan Hill. I put down her CD’s.
“Are we just going to follow him? I asked.
“That’s right.” She pressed play on her CD player and Barry Manilow blasted out of the speakers. Mercifully, we got to the golf course in a few minutes because I was going deaf from the thundering syrupy drivel firing out from her sound system.
Erin parked in visitor parking and whispered, “Follow me.”
She ran around to the side of the clubhouse and headed for a thicket of bushes. No one could see us because we were wedged between the clubhouse wall and the bushes.
Erin said in a very low voice, “Bend down and look through the hedge, you can see the ninth hole.”
I bent over and moved some leaves away. Not 30 feet away from us was the ninth hole tee blocks. There was nobody there yet, but I heard some people approaching it. I saw some men, and from the looks of it, no Duncan.
I turned to Erin. “He’s not here yet. Let’s wait.” I took a cigarette out of the pack and fished for my lighter in my tight shorts.
“What are you doing?” Erin asked me incredulously.
“I’m going to have a smoke.” I answered.
“Like, duh. You’re going to blow our cover.” She said rolling her eyes back.
“Sorrrrrry.” I said really wanting the smoke now.
I leaned over and rejoined Erin. The other foursome had moved on and a new one was approaching. I saw Duncan.
“There he is.” I whispered.
“Okay so he’s here now. Let’s go back to the car and wait till he finishes then see what he does then.” She said satisfied.
We straightened up from our bent positions and turned to go back to the car.
Two wide mouthed groundskeepers blocked our exit. They looked like they were in a trance. I was going to say something, then I remembered; my shorts. My damned shorts (remember how I described them?) a stripper would have been too modest to put these things on. Erin’s outfit didn’t help either, we were indeed showing a hell of a lot of skin.
“Excuse me.” I said as we slipped by them.
“The pleasure was all ours.” One of them said.
We raced giggling back to the car and got in. “No Manilow.” I said.
At this point, lets say we cut to the chase. Three hours later in Erin’s SUV made me thirsty, hungry and I needed to pee. Her ongoing rendition of Copacabana really did nothing to help my situation.
Suddenly we saw Duncan emerge from the clubhouse and we ducked down. I heard a knock on the window and looked up. A very puzzled Duncan was looking at us. Erin rolled down her window and said lamely, “Hi dear, have a good game?”
“Yeah, I did. What are you doing here.” He answered.
“Just enjoying the sites.” Erin was about to cry.
“Hi Jane, what’s up.” Duncan turned his attention to me.
I gazed at this gorgeous man and replied, “Not much, nice day for a round. Came with Erin.”
“Uh huh. Let’s go home Erin, I think we have to talk.” Duncan turned and got into his Limited Edition Chrysler 300M and sped off.
A tear went down Erin’s cheek as we followed Duncan home. I brushed it off and said, “He just wants to talk.”
“I feel like a louse. How could I have even thought that he would cheat?” Erin said sobbing.
We parked in her driveway and I whispered to her, “Come over later for a beer. We’ll talk.”
I sauntered back to my place and sat in the backyard.
The Mills’ windows were open and I tried to hear, but to no avail. They were in another part of the house. I felt like shit. It had been my idea, but Erin didn’t have to drag me along. I went into my house and made myself a sandwich and took a beer out of the fridge. I went back outside and sat on my patio lost in my thoughts.
The sandwich was wonderful and the cold beer washing it down was incredibly refreshing. Dusk was upon us as I finished my meal and at this time of day, peace and quiet ruled. The only sounds were the birds singing, leaves rustling in the soft breeze, a child laughing in the distance and Erin having the orgasm of her life!
“Oh my God! Yes Dunc! Oh yeah, Dunc! Oh yes! Yes Dunc …” You get the idea. Well good for her.
I lay down on my lounger and imagined them fucking away. Erin’s long legs wrapped around Duncan’s muscular waist. Duncan with his strong lean body, ravaging Erin’s hot little pussy by plunging repeatedly into her with his muscle-bound penis.
Oh boy, I was getting all hot and tingly just thinking of it. I undid my halter and my breasts tumbled out and I tenderly caressed them gently rolling my nipples with my fingers.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” Came out the window as (I’m fantasizing now) Duncan drilled deep into Erin’s tight pussy. The creaks from the bed coincided with Erin’s moans and cries.
I undid the button of my shorts and shimmied out of them. I rested my hand on my moistening pussy and gently teased my pussy. You’re thinking, why didn’t I have to take off my panties. Didn’t have to (wink wink). My finger traced the opening of my pussy and I shuddered.
“OH GOD, YES DUNC!!” I heard clearly and I closed my eyes as my finger went between my pussy lips to find my clit. I rotated my finger around it teasingly and got to the soft spot. The top left part. Oh yeah, the favorite part of my whole body. I rubbed it and the tremors started. My pussy was becoming very wet. I dipped my finger in myself and rubbed my clit with my slippery love juices. I let out a little moan as my orgasms began.
“Oh, OH, OHHHHHHH, OOOOOOOOO!” Erin’s cries intensified and so did I. I spread my legs and stroked at my clit feverishly as I finger-fucked myself with my other hand. I bucked up and down on my lounger to as I came. My writhing body spasmed and tingled as waves of orgasms reached my shores. I moaned lightly and my pussy gushed it’s love juices, coating my fingers.
“Give it to me Dunc, give me your hard cock! Harder, Harder, Harderrrrrrrrrr!” I gasped as my orgasms peaked. I held my breath and crashed back down again, sated.
The Mills’ house was quiet and I lay back in my lounger wasted. I looked at their house and imagined Erin and Duncan lying in bed completed contented after a good fuck. Then I saw a face in a window! The face had glasses on! Neither Erin nor Duncan wore glasses! I quickly scooped up my clothes and ran into the house. I looked through the window to see who was there, but the face was gone…
I dressed and waited for Erin. I didn’t think she knew what I knew about her sexual exploits. I went to the fridge and took a beer out (Beer is one of my worse vices) sat down on the couch and lit a smoke (Cigarettes are the second worse vice I have). I flipped on the tube and wondered again about who had seen me masturbating. From where he/she was, there was a clear view of my backyard and me doing the solo nasty thing.
I got up to get another beer when Erin knocked on my door.
“Hi, you gotta smoke?” She said cheerfully as she bounded into my house wearing a pair of shorty shorts and tiniest t-shirt allowed by law. Hair up, titties bouncing, legs in a blur, she bounced across my living room and landed in a heap on my sofa. As she helped herself to my smokes, I sat down next to her and gave her a beer.
“Sooooo. What happened?” I asked inquisitively.
“I apologized to Duncan. I should have never listened to you. You’re so baaaad!” She giggled.
“Ahem, it was like, your idea to go before we thought any of this out.” I countered.
“Anyways, It’s okay now. Dunc’s gonna slow down on his drinking, but not his golf. We are going to see more of each other. That’s for sure.” She continued. She was radiant, she was a bit flushed (probably from the fucking she had just received) and her tanned and toned body was luscious.
“I was in the backyard earlier and saw someone with glasses in your house.” I ventured not letting on that I had heard their lovemaking.
“Oh, that’s Don. He’s back from visiting his grandparents in Victoria. The boy is simply brilliant. You’ll meet him soon. He really is a great kid.” Erin said enthusiastically.
I couldn’t wait. If he was anything like his daddy, then like, wow.
She reached into her jeans and produced a fat joint. It was the size of my pinkie! Damn, I didn’t think living in the burbs was going to be like this. Erin sparked up and the sweet scent of burning grass wafted towards me bringing back memories of college and midnight bull sessions with long lost girlfriends. She passed it over and I took a long haul. The acrid smoke filled my lungs and expanded inside. I passed the reefer back to Erin and exhaled.
Erin said, “Hydro. British Columbia’s best. This weed will set your hair on fire.”
Sure enough, my head was swimming in the clouds and beyond. Man, I was stoned!
“Those two guys really got an eyeful today didn’t they?” Erin said laughing
I was taking a huge drink of beer when she said that and I started laughing hard. Beer flew from my mouth and shot out my nose and soaked my halter-top. Oh, I couldn’t stop laughing and neither could Erin. We were just a-rolling. My sides were starting to hurt and I calmed down a bit. Erin used Kleenex to wipe the beer off my front. I looked at Erin and she looked at me and we started laughing again.
Hoo Wee! Was I wrecked. “ ‘Member when Dunc saw us in your truck?” I asked and started laughing even harder.
“I gotta pee!” laughed Erin and got up to go to the bathroom.
“Get me a beer on your way back.” I asked. I needed a new top and took off my halter. The cold beer had soaked my top and breasts. My nipples were standing at attention and I flicked them to make them harder. They were hard as diamonds and I rolled them between my fingers sighing. I quickly ran upstairs and put on a tight tanktop and changed out of my Daisy Dukes into a pair of hiking shorts and went back to the living room.
I was so fucking high that I could feel my hair move.
From the kitchen, I heard the mortifying words, “No beer!”
Erin came back into the living room. “Gotta get some beer.” She said dejectedly.
“Are you cold or something?” She asked pointing to her breasts.
I didn’t get her. “I looked down at my titties and saw that my nipples were jutting out of my top.
We started laughing again, but I had to stop. My sides were already aching.
Changing the subject, I said, “Lets go to the Liquor Store.”
“Naw.” Sighed Erin, “I really should go.”
“Oh well.” I said, showing her to the door. She turned and kissed me lightly in the cheek and said, “Had a great time. Thanks for the beer and cigarettes.”
I closed the door. All dressed up and nowhere to go. I went to my bar and made myself a rum and coke. What to do now? Television was always an alternative…