The screen froze for the fifth time that morning and I smashed my mouse down on my desk. My report was needed at the one o’clock meeting today and I was almost finished when my machine went down.
“Why the fuck does everything have to go into the toilet when you’re under a tight deadline.” I thought as I strode past endless cubicle neighborhoods towards Desktop Support.
I knocked and Techie Hamster opened the door an inch. “SHHHHHH! We’re feeding Voluptia, come in quietly.”
I entered the darkened room lit only by dozens of monitors each spewing out tons of useless information. “What a fucking mess.” I said to myself as I tripped over a piece of half eaten pizza on the floor. The room was awash with candy wrappers, old food containers and computer equipment.
The Cubey Kid and Muthah Board were sitting at a terminal literally drooling over something. I went over to them carefully sidestepping a copy of Internet for Retards 1997 and a ham sandwich.
Cubey whispered, “Look at her attack the BIOS. What a bitch, she’s got teeth like a piranha.”
“It’ll eat all the contents of the hard drive next, just watch. I read about it this morning, but I never thought we’d get our hands on it this fast.” Muthah said cautiously.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” I asked.
“SHHHHHH!” Was the universal reply I got.
Techie yanked me aside roughly. “We got the Voluptia virus this morning and infected one of old boxes with it to experience Voluptia’s destructive powers.” He said as he rubbed his hands in geek anticipation and went back to the terminal.
“Helloooo! I have a problem here. My computer went down.” I said annoyingly.
Three heads turned towards me and stared. Muthah said, “And…”
“And… I need some assistance here. Desktop Support means I have a desktop, it has crashed and I need support.” I replied snidely.
“Man, is it hard to get good help these days.” I pondered silently as I tapped my foot at the trio’s indifference to my plight.
“Log a call.” The Cubey Kid said not looking up from the terminal.
“Oh, for crying out loud, your office is around the corner from my cubicle!” I shouted in exasperation.
The three looked at me and went, “SHHHHHH!”
I screamed, “You can take your Volup…. what ever it is and stick it up your ass!” and stormed out of the room.
The last thing I heard from the room was “Touchy.”
I slammed the door and the fluorescent office lights blasted my eyes blinding me. I staggered down the hallway sightless and crashed against a cubicle wall. Dave the Accountant came to my aid and helped me off the floor.
I hung onto him for dear life as my vision gradually came back. “Just… came… from… Desktop… can’t… see…” I gasped as focus slowly returned.
“Quick get her a drink of water!” Dave yelled to someone. “I been through it before, a few minutes and your head will clear and your vision will return.” He told me sympathetically.
As I drank the cool water, Dave said authoritatively, “You just suffered a Desktop Support Seizure or DSS. It happens when you’re deprived of fresh air, inhale mold spores off old food and are robbed of direct sunlight. Symptoms include dizziness, nausea, temporary blindness and unconsciousness.”
I thanked Dave and walked unsteadily back to my cubicle. The Blue Screen of Death greeted me on my monitor telling me that it was “Unable to find object OEMK8890M0987-XMM. You will lose any unsaved work. Press ‘c’ to continue or ‘a’ to abort. I slumped into my chair and stared at the screen completely helpless. My hand inched towards my phone and I called Desktop Support.
A pleasant voice came over the phone, “Desktop Support, this is Dixie, how can I help y’all?”
“My computer crashed.” I replied.
“Ahm sorry to heah that, Sugah. What seems to be the problem?” The operator asked.
Puzzled by her accent, I asked, “Where am I calling?”
“Atlanta, Sugah.” Came the reply.
“Okay,” I thought, “Here I am in Toronto, calling Atlanta to get a dummy from down the hall to fix my computer.”
I explained my predicament to the operator carefully detailing the Blue Screen message.
“I’ll git someone to take a look at it. Your internal ticket numbah is 1894767290-H-9476247. Y’all be sure to git it to the technician when he comes on ovah to fix your computah. Y’all have a nahce day now.” She said as she hung up.
“1894… 76… H… was that a 9 or a 5.” I repeated as I heard the ominous click of the phone disconnecting.
“Fuck, I didn’t really need this number did I?” I thought hopefully.
I waited 20 long minutes and finally Muthah Board came over to my desk.
I moved aside to let her take a look. “You’re crashed.” She said pensively.
I looked at her in amazement. I called Atlanta for you to tell me that my fucking computer had crashed?
“What’s your ticket number?” She asked me.
“Don’t have one, the girl said it too fast.” I replied.
“Okay, I’ll do this as a freebie.” She said as she turned to the Blue Screen.
I gritted my teeth in anger and mutely seethed. “Fucking red tape and procedures will fuck everything up with their fucking ticket numbers, fucking forms and fucking requisitions to get a fucking pen.”
As Muthah continued to look at the Blue Screen, I grew wickedly impatient. I bore a hole into the back her head as I controlled my anger. She was about twenty-five and quite tall, but as thin as a rail she must have been about six feet tall and a hundred pounds dripping wet. She had Dracula’s pallor and a cute face if you’re into heroin chic. She smelled like the pack of stale cigarettes and coffee. Her long hair was pulled back today, which was an improvement over the straggly strands she let fall everywhere on other days. Her glasses were a by-product of sitting in that lightless room for ten hours a day.
As I stood behind her, I felt strangely attracted to her. I stepped into the hallway into some fresher air and my head cleared. What the fuck was I going to do about the stupid report?
I left Muthah to her own devices and hunted down an unused computer. Matt the Hack our Web Bastard was away on one of his Mental Health days. I sat down and logged in. My fingers were instantly stuck to the keyboard. “How fucking gross! That fat bastard must have smeared a jelly sandwich on his keyboard.” I screamed to myself as I intrepidly soldiered on, creating another page for my report.
In two hours, I had finished. I saved the reports on a floppy and handed it over to my Norman, my boss. I apologized as he tried to free the floppy from my outstretched hand.
“It’s a little sticky, I used Matt’s computer to finish this.” I said apologetically.
He nodded knowingly and said “Thanks.”
I went downstairs for a smoke and bumped into Muthah. “How’s my computer doing?” I asked.
She answered, “If it was a woman, I’d say she’s PMS’ed.”
“What do you mean?” I queried.
“Well, computers are sensitive beings, they have feelings and emotions like everyone else.” She started.
“Oh.” I said.
“Good fucking gracious.” I contemplated, “She’s got to be from a distant galaxy or the 6th dimension or something. How many moons are there are on her planet?”
She continued, “They have temperaments. Take yours for instance. I can tell that you didn’t treat it lovingly, neglect was what caused it to get sick.”
“Sicker than you? You space cadet?” I thought.
Muthah went on, “If you nurture your computer, you will be rewarded with the fruits of your love.”
“I’m going to fucking puke soon.” I said to myself.
“Another example is the computer we infected with Voluptia this morning. It was always a problem, very temperamental and independent. The Cubey Kid tried to tame its wild side, but to no avail. He now tortures it with viruses taken off the Internet. Quite gruesome, if you must know.” She carried on.
“But what about my computer, when will it be fixed?” I quickly said to change the topic.
“I’ll get it back to you tomorrow. I’ll try something tonight.” She responded.
That night as I slept, I dreamed of six-foot computers with attitude chasing me down never-ending office hallways. Muthah Board controlled them wearing a dominatrix costume. I woke up in a sweat and looked at my alarm clock. Five o’clock. What a great time to wake up I thought sarcastically.
I did have a few things to finish at the office so I quickly showered and went to work. I’d get in early and leave early and have the rest of the afternoon to myself.
No one was at the office. Who is at 5:45 am? I sat down at my desk and there was no computer. Right! The fucking thing was still with Muthah.
I walked down the silent halls towards the Kingdom of Desktop Support and stopped at the door. I heard some humming coming from inside. It sounded like Muthah.
I looked through the small window in the door. A piece of paper was taped to it, but a crack was at the bottom. I peered in and saw Muthah.
She had no pants on! The screen she was so intently looking at illuminated her naked legs. Her hand was down at her pussy and she was playing with herself! “Damn! She has an amazing body.” I whispered as I intently watched her work herself into a frenzy. I saw something move to the right in the darkened room and saw a nude Techie Hamster walk towards Muthah. He looked a bit emaciated in his birthday suit, but his hard drive was quite impressive.
Techie glanced at the computer screen and got on his knees in front of Muthah and buried his head between her open thighs. Muthah’s head leaned back and her mouth opened as Techie ate away.
Man, I was getting hot at watching this. Being a woman of the 21st century, I took matters into my own hands. I tried the door; it was locked. I wasn’t going to knock; it would have ruined the moment. In true Jane Bond fashion, I took my security pass and jimmied at the latch. Bending and twisting at it with the card, I heard an audible ‘click’. I slowly opened the door and tiptoed in silently closing the door behind me.
Muthah was moaning loudly as she was in the throes of orgasmic pleasure as Techie raucously slurped at her snatch. I noiselessly and quickly undressed and knelt behind Techie taking his fat penis in my hand.
“MMMMMMMF!” Came his startled reply as his head whipped around to see who surprised him. Muthah sat straight up and clenched her legs together and squeezed Techie’s head in the process.
As she tried to cover her nakedness, Muthah exclaimed in shock, “H-H-How did you get in here?”
“Doesn’t matter now.” I replied and continued, “I want some of that.” I released Techie’s erect member and pointed to her wet pussy.
She replied with a wink and a grin, “I thought you’d never ask. Come here and give me a good tongue lashing.”
I got on my hands and knees and replaced Techie between Muthah’s loins. My goodness, did she smell good! I used my fingers to open her sexiness to me and flicked her rock hard clitty with my tongue. She moaned loudly and buried her hands in my hair and her rock hard clit felt like a diamond against my tongue. Techie came up behind me licked my back and caressed and massaged my swaying tits.
Techie’s hand came under me and fingers attacked my nether region. I squirmed and backed against his hand as I munched feverishly at Muthah’s drenched gash. I moved back and forth from licking her clit to sticking my tongue into her wet opening and she came violently. Techie’s manual manipulations made me cum almost at the same time, my pussy gripped at his fingers as he moved them in and out of me.
Techie entered me with one thrust and humped me hard as I wildly licked and sucked Muthah. I came seconds after Techie inserted and thrust so deeply that he banged into my cervix with his fat cock. My pussy spasmed as I orgasmed and ejaculated making a puddle on the carpet below me. Muthah screamed as she came and wrapped her legs around my head, mashing my face against her sweet wet pussy.
I was in the throes of orgasmic bliss and trapped between these two computer geeks. I was locked onto Muthah’s snatch and Techie was pounding into my wet slit from behind. I screamed into Muthah’s pussy when I came and as the rippling orgasms slowly subsided she unclenched my head.
“Techie, come put your floppy into my drive and let’s see how your hardware works.” Said Muthah with a little growl and a twinkle in her eye.
She lay on the floor and Techie withdrew from me and replied to her, “Just Plug and Play, baby.”
She grunted and started to moan loudly when Techie mounted her and drove his penis home. “Your CPU usage is going to max out when I’m done with you, baby.” He groaned as he banged her mercilessly.
“I want you too.” Muthah gasped to me as she orgasmed. I went to her and crouched over her face. She licked me with the fury of a woman possessed and I came in her mouth.
I screamed. “Oh man! Never thought Desktop Support would be like this!” as spasmodic waves attacked my hot pussy and traveled to every part of me.
Techie let out a low guttural groan and came in Muthah. She yelped and came as his semen flowed into her. I dismounted Muthah’s mouth and sat in a chair exhausted.
“Long day ahead. I’ll see what I can do for you about getting a new computer.” Said Muthah as she dressed.
Since that morning, I’ve never had to call Atlanta for Desktop Support and I’ve joined the Desktop Support Breakfast Club. Strangely, breakfast isn’t too filling but there is a lot to eat.
Now, I really ought to get a security pass it doesn’t really work that well.
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What did you think? Your comments are always welcome.