EMILIE'S DISSENT

BY THE ONE

9/1/06

I’m so confused! I can’t believe what’s happening to me. These games Alice and Lisa play; I thought I liked it at first, but now it’s not just a game anymore. Alice actually wants to control me…to dominate me sexually. It’s become a lifestyle! This isn’t what I enjoyed at all. I mean, she’s my sister! I was willing to play along when we’d just have a little fun with Lisa, but now Alice talks to me as if I’m her slave or something. She orders me around, threatens me, berates and insults me. Among other things, she calls me ‘sweetie’ when she talks to me, and when I do what she wants she says ‘Good girl!’ like I’m some kind of pet! Every time we’re alone or with Lisa it seems I’m either handcuffed or fondled or kissed…all by my sister! That’s not right! It’s not fun anymore. It’s degrading and humiliating. Now I’m supposed to call Alice and Lisa ‘Mistress.’ That’s not happening.

And poor Heather! They do even more horrible things to her! She tells me unbelievable stories about how they’ve forced her to service them. She’s accepted the place they’ve set up for her as their property, and plays… lives…her part every waking moment. I promise I won’t be so easily controlled. This evening Alice told me I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend or kiss a guy or anything like that. She’s not Mom! She has no right to tell me how I can and cannot live my life! I should tell everyone about what they do. That’d wipe the grin off her face for good!}

I capped my pen and slapped my journal shut. Just writing about it had made me furious at my sister all over again. What right did she have to try and control me? I’m not her property. I’m no one’s property! I swear if she calls me ‘good girl’ one more time…

Someone knocked on my door. My mom’s voice drifted in. “Emilie, it’s late. You should be asleep.”

“Okay. I was just writing for a while.”

She said goodnight and went into their room. In my anger I had forgotten that my parents usually came up to bed around eleven. My clock read 11:03. Right on time. I shut off my desk lamp and turned my computer on. As long as my lights were out, my parents never listened closely enough to hear keys clicking. I could squeeze another hour and a half out of summer vacation and chat for a while on AIM before my eyes started to hurt. I needed the time to cool off anyway. I can’t sleep when I’m mad. And goodness knows, I need sleep tonight. Tomorrow’s the first day of school…

My shrill alarm dragged me out of a beautiful dream. I groaned loudly and smacked my clock to make it shut up. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet, and missed the snooze button, sending the whole works off my nightstand to bounce under my bed.

Frustrated, I half-fell out of bed to fish around for the clock. When I finally located it, I hastily turned the alarm off. I sighed. Silence. Darkness. Perfect conditions to go back to sleep. But of course I couldn’t. I had set my alarm for a reason; Alice and I would be leaving in about an hour. It was the first day of school, and I was in a bad mood after being awake less than a minute. What a way to start the year…

“Ready to go, Emmy?” Alice asked a short time after our parents left for work.

I gathered up my purse and the few things I would need to start school. “I guess…” The nice thing about high school was not having to carry loads of extra junk. All you needed was a pen, a calculator, and something to keep papers and notes in. The down side was that when I came home, I’d have an extra forty pounds worth of textbooks about crap I didn’t understand. So much to look forward to…

We climbed into Alice’s car and headed out. Her left hand was on the steering wheel, her right hand never left my body. As she touched me from my face to my legs and my persistently unaroused crotch, she reminded me of my ‘rules.’ No boyfriends, no kissing, no excessive flirting, etc. I just repeated ‘I know’ over and over.

She looked at me finally and said, “What should you be saying to me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Mistress.”

“Good girl.”

I tensed and thought, How dare you say things like that to me!

I hoped I conveyed my dissatisfaction at her treatment of me by not looking at or speaking to her the rest of the way to school…

I didn’t interact with her once we got there, either. I met up with several of my friends who I’d seen over the summer periodically, and some I hadn’t talked to since last year. Being the first day, there were about fifteen extra minutes than usual before the bell rang, so we all just sat down where we were in the hallway and talked. We were perfectly all right until Alice glided past (with Lisa beside her and Nikki, Kristin, and Heather following) and beckoned me to come.

“We’re talking!” I protested.

“Emilie…” she said in a threatening tone.

I sighed and followed them into a small room. “What?” I demanded.

“My, my, aren’t you just asking for trouble today?” Lisa taunted, “A nice young lady like you should never speak that way to her mistress.”

I ignored her and continued staring at Alice, waiting for a response. The other three girls just stood quietly. I noticed Nikki was still wearing her identifying bracelets, locked on electronically to her wrists. They made her physically Lisa and Kristin’s property.

“We’re going to have a little fun before school,” Alice said as she started unbuttoning her shirt.

“I don’t want to. Alice, this is getting out of control. I’m done with this stuff. It’s too weird!” I turned to leave. Someone’s hand grabbed the back of my bra through my shirt. I gasped and whirled, smacking the hand away. “Get off of me!” Lisa recoiled, rubbing her fingers and glaring at me. “You struck me.” she stated. Heather had a horrified expression on her face, as if I’d just shot Lisa.

I didn’t bother responding. I turned and stormed out. Those perverts! Let them play with each other; I’m through with this! I let my furious expression dissolve as I rejoined my friends. My nice, normal, non-perverted friends.

That’s when I saw him. Eric. The guy I’d had a crush on since I was a freshman. He was just so cute! And he was so nice, and funny! But he was also shy and quiet around people, so he didn’t join our loud, laughing group. He caught me looking at him. But this time, I didn’t look away. Our eyes locked for several seconds, and I just smiled. He smiled back. Then one of my friends asked me something. I turned away only for a moment, but when I looked back he was gone. I was disappointed, but at the same time excited that we had shared a little moment. I wouldn’t see him again until our last class of the day, but when that time came, I’d say something to him. I had to. I liked him a lot, and maybe, just maybe, he liked me back…

Finally, I got my chance. He was staying late for the start-of-year sports meeting that started in an hour. Alice was my ride home. Neither of us had to worry about missing a bus. It was perfect!

The last bell rang, and I caught him alone. “Hey!” I greeted.

“Hi,” he said shyly.

“Um,” I stumbled, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a really long time, and…”

“Wait,” he stopped me, “So do I. Emilie, uh…” his face began to turn red, “I…I really like you. Would you ever consider going out with me sometime?”

I was speechless. It was too perfect to be true! I tried to say yes but couldn’t find my voice. I just nodded vigorously and smiled. He looked as if a huge pressure had just lifted from him, and we hugged each other.

Then he looked at me and asked, “Now, what were you going to say?”

I laughed, “You just said it for me!”

“Really?”

His expression was so adorable! This was turning out to be the best day of my life! Screw Alice. She had no power over me. We sat and talked for a long time. We had known each other for several years, but had never really been that close. Now it felt like we’d been best friends our whole lives! We were sitting pretty close to begin with, but while we’d been talking I noticed both of us moving closer. Finally, I felt his arm cautiously going over my shoulders. I didn’t pull away. Why would I want to? Our gazes met, and we stared deeply into each other’s eyes. I felt us drawing closer. His other hand touched the back of my head, pulling me gently toward him. Finally, slowly, our lips touched. Then we kissed. And again. I felt tense. We were too vulnerable here.

“Wait,” I breathed, “Let go into the back.”

Wordlessly we got up and almost ran to the back closet of the band room. There, we kissed again, harder this time. I felt his hands running up and down my sides. Little moans escaped me as I felt myself getting wet. We both knew we couldn’t fully have sex back here, since there were still people around. But we could come as close as we could get!

His hands slid under my shirt and I felt cool air as my skin was exposed. I pulled my shirt the rest of the way off, and he took his off too. I wanted to show him my lower half as well, but it was too risky. We could pull our shirts back on quickly if the need arose, but any more and we might get caught. And that would spell disaster for both of us. So we contented ourselves with what we had.

We were there probably less than twenty minutes, but it felt like hours. The sight of my black bra pushed him over the edge, and sensing I was all his, he grabbed me forcefully and held me close while our tongues explored each other’s mouths. I melted from reality, forgetting time, place, and self, and gave in to the sensations…

On the way home, Alice was strangely quite. It was peculiar, but I didn’t really mind. I liked her better this way. She was less offensive. It really did make me wonder, though, when she said, “Well, I guess you had quite a day.”

Oh well, I thought, Maybe she and Lisa had a lovers’ quarrel. The thought of it made me laugh, which drew an odd look from my sister. I heard her mutter, “Yes…quite a day…”

9/2/06

{Today was the most wonderful day of my life! Eric and I finally admitted our feelings for each other, and after only a few minutes together, we had our first kiss! This quickly led to more and more. We must’ve been in that back room for hours, just touching and kissing. I swear we would’ve had sex if it had been more private. As it was, we were both naked from the waist up for a while. The way he looked at me…it just made me dizzy! Oh, I can’t stop thinking about him! I finally have a boyfriend! We’re trying to find a time when we can meet privately and take ALL our clothes off. I know he’s the one I want to give myself away to. Alice wouldn’t approve, but so what? What can she do to me? I’m too thrilled to care about her right now.}

I closed my journal and slid into bed. I was tired, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a long time; I was too excited. So I contented myself with using my fingers and my imagination to try and simulate what sex with Eric would feel like.

A knock on my door made me jump. I quickly pulled my hand out of my shimmering pajama pants and tried to wipe the perspiration from my forehead. I climbed out of bed, trying to make my heartbeat return to normal as I walked to the door. Alice was standing outside my door in the darkness wearing only a satin cami and panties. “Oh,” I whispered, “It’s you.” I wasn’t thrilled.

“Yeah, Emmy, it’s me,” she said.

“What do you want?”

“I…I just want to talk.”

“About what?” I hadn’t moved from my doorway.

“Please Emmy? I just need to talk to you.” Her face was sad and serious.

I turned and went back in my room, leaving the door open. She followed me and we sat down on the edge of my bed.

“What?” I was already in a bad mood since she had interrupted my fun.

“Emilie…I, uh, wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been. I’ve been treating you unfairly, and been embarrassing you, trying to force you to do things you don’t want to. I’m sorry.”

“You mean trying to make me your little sex toy?” I responded angrily.

“Yeah…something like that…” she said awkwardly.

I was silent for a moment. “Why, Alice? Why’d you do it? Why did you and Lisa try and turn me into your own personal slut?”

She slid her hand down the back of her panties as if adjusting herself. “Well, Emilie, two reasons.”

“Oh, please explain!” I said sarcastically.

“First of all,” she began, “We thought it was fun. We thought you were enjoying it too.”

“I was at first, until it stopped being a game and started becoming a lifestyle. That’s the part I’m interested in, Alice. Why’d it become a lifestyle? You aren’t one of those weird women who takes the whole ‘mistress’ thing seriously, are you?”

She looked at me with dark eyes. “Yes, Emilie. I am.”

“But why did you try to force me into it? I’m your sister!”

“That’s my second reason, Emmy.” In a flash, she had grabbed me around the neck in a headlock and clamped a wet rag (which I assumed had been hidden in her panties) over my mouth and nose. I tried to struggle, but I was getting weak. The rag muffled my cries. “I did it because that’s what you are: my sister. And do you know what else?”

I felt myself losing consciousness. Chloroform! No, no, no!

She whispered in my ear, “You said it yourself: you are my own personal slut!”

Her dark, lustful tone echoed in my head as I blacked out…