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THE ATONEMENTS OF JOANIE: JOANIE'S FULL ATONEMENT: CONCLUSION [ part 5 ] Dr. Cooper walked over to where I was standing with my sore bottom pressed against the heavy leather arm chair and my wrists tied to the wooden bar above my head saying: "Joan, there's a part of you we have not punished yet! It will hurt you most awfully and greatly help you to expiate the terrible wrongs you have done!!!" Dr. Cooper turned the five-minute egg timer and picked up the lash by its handle and dangled the long strips of soft black leather at its end, dangled them in front of my eyes to show them to me . . . and purposely frighten me -I just glanced at them and shivered "Joan, I want you to kiss the leather that is going to help you to atone for your wrong-doings." I didn't want to see those long strips of soft black leather! I closed my eyes tight, but I kissed the black strips that Dr. Cooper held to my lips for so long, and you could tell they were the skin of an animal from the smell of them. The I waited for the tearing pain across my shoulders just like I'd seen the sailor flogged in 'Mutiny on the Bounty' with bloody stripes all across his back . . . Dr. Cooper swished the lash around in the air and I could feel the draft each time it passed near me -and I shuddered in terror and braced myself rigid ready to pay my penance . . . CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! The leather strips bit into my back with a searing shock . . . I gasped in pain and gritted my teeth for the next stroke of the lash . . . Dr. Cooper spent a long time swishing around with the lash . . . I felt the draft on my shoulders and it terrified me!!!! Then it came down again hard CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! on my back and I let out a piercing . . . YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! "Ohhhh! Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! and sobs racked me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." My head was buzzing . . . . Then I took a deep breath . . . and I shouted - but all that came out was a hoarse croak: "More!!!!! Give me more!!!!" Dr. Cooper swissssssshed the lash around me again and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! the leather strips cut into my back . . . Swisssssshed it around and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! the leather strips of the lash came down on my tender twelve-year-old back again, and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! again, and CRAKKKKKKKKK!!!! again . . . and I SCRE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-A-MED!!!! with each blow until the lashing at last ended . . . No soothing caress this time! Just me on my own sobbing and contrite my back - and all the rest of me - in pain and agony weeping and broken . . . And the men went back to their poker game to decide who was to punish me next while I slowly eased my sobbing and finally quieted as I stood stark naked with my hands tied to the wooden rod above my head as I looked at my reflection in the big mirror by the firelight my body aching and hurting most painfully - everywhere . . . There seemed no part of me they had left unbruised as I looked at the four men playing poker - and watching me. The poker game seemed to go on and on until at last: "My game! from Uncle Penty, and he came to me." "This is to be your final penance, Joanie my dear." "After this dreadful punishment that you are going to suffer now you will finally have atoned for all wrongs you may ever have done and you will be able to live with a clear conscience carefree and joyful knowing you have made full and complete restitution to everyone who ever lived in the world . . ." "Abbot, you are the expert at this penance -can you make the arrangements that we talked about for the taste of night air . . ." "Yes indeed, Pent! Will you first untie Joan's left wrist . . ." "We are ready now, Dr. Cooper -Please fasten your temperature probe . . ." and Dr. Cooper came and slid something in under my left armpit saying: "I want you to hold this temperature thing in your armpit, Joan, and I am tying a bandage round you to hold that arm to your side -It will tell me your body heat . . ." "Sir John, would you please tie one end of that length of rope to Joan's left ankle just tight enough so it can not pull off . . ." "Now help support her with me while Pent undoes her right wrist . . . . . . ." "Dr. Cooper, will you please open those curtains for the French windows to the balcony and put the wooden board for Joan to stand on out there on the balcony." "And Pent, please switch off all the lights in here . . ." "And the snow has stopped -It is a clear cold moonlight night." "Now Joan my dear I want you to walk out with us onto the balcony and stand on the piece of wood that Dr. Cooper has laid there for you so your feet don't freeze . . ." "Walk slowly now, Joan -so you do not trip in the dark -and you are in no condition to hurry!!" "Onto the board - so - and I tie the rope so you can not slide off this slippery balcony . . ." "Now, we are going back into the warm room while we leave you out here, Joan my dear!" "The icy night air will quickly numb the pains in your bruised and aching body and you will soon be able to feel nothing!" "I want you to think about all the wrongs you have done to others -everything you are atoning for tonight -and ask those people to forgive you . . ." "Pax vobiscum, may peace be with you, my child!" And I felt his prickly beard on my forehead as he held me by my shoulders and kissed me there . . . And they went back into their warm room closing the French windows, shutting me out in icy night air . . . . They had left me standing on a board in the snow on the second-floor balcony with the icy breeze playing around my bare aching body as I looked down on the lighted town street at the end of the short drive with people bustling back and forth. Did any of them notice me I wondered standing up there stark naked on the icy cold balcony in bright moonlight? I was already too cold to shiver as I stared up at the bright silvery shining moon and shouted at the top of my croaking voice: "Dear Mamaaaaa! I love you so much!! Pleeease pleeeeeeeeeease forgive me!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Mamaaaaaaaaaa!!!" Tears started to run from my eyes -they froze on my cheek I no longer felt any pains from my beaten and battered body and cold numbness traveled slowly up my arms and legs then the icy deadness penetrated my body until I could feel nothing even when I tried dragging my fingernails across my tummy . . . Then I knew no more . . . I must have fainted from the icy coldness because the next thing I remember I was held standing between Uncle Pent in front of me and someone behind as I stood sandwiched between them in the dining room in front of the blazing fire . . . Uncle Penty and the other man had bath robes on which they held around to help warm me . . . As I slowly started to feel things again . . . I realized that both men were as naked as me, and I felt their bare hairy flesh rubbing against me and warming me as I stood sandwiched between them in front of the fire standing up on a low stool . . . I could dimly see Dr. Cooper by the poker table packing away something with a dial on it into a black bag. On the table beside him was one of Penty's balloon glasses that he uses to serve vintage cognac and heavy smoke wove its way towards the ceiling from one of Penty's after-dinner cigars. The whole room now smelled wonderfully of cognac and cigars . . . which they must have been enjoying while I was slowly freezing on the balcony -which all added to my sense of having paid penance . . . Faintly in flickering firelight I saw the Abbot facing us with his hand raised chanting quietly in a strange language . . . Then he folded his hands under his chin and lowered his head over them. Like the picture in "Penances for a Nun" of the ice-cold nun carried in and standing between two others in front of the fire!!!! Almost in a dream I remembered . . . Penty had said - "Abbot, you are the expert at this penance, can you make the arrangements" The ice-cold-air penance must still be used today for monks and nuns, eight hundred years after that book was written, and maybe went back older than that . . . Maybe I was a little light-headed . . . I couldn't laugh - I hadn't the strength -but I felt it was awesome and somehow very funny that me at twelve years old, had done a penance that had been used with monks and nuns for more than eight hundred years and who knows how much longer before that!! The warmth of Penty and Sir John slowly penetrated my body until I began again to feel the pain of the beatings that I had been given as penances for all I had done wrong . . . The pressure of the two rough hairy bodies pressed and rubbing rhythmically against my tender skin and the weals from my punishments hurt dreadfully as warmth continued to return the feeling to my body and limbs . . . Standing there clamped between the two naked men I slowly realized too, why I was standing on the low stool: I began to feel Uncle Penty's big stiff thing: it was slowly sliding in and out between my legs and I was at exactly the height for it to rub hard up against me under there as it slid in and out . . . and I felt his hairs rubbing roughly against my tender little pussy each time he pressed against me and swayed gently from side to side . . . His stiff thing went rhythmically -in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out in - side to side - and out . . . I saw the man behind was Sir John who was taller and his stiff thing was bent down at an angle into the groove between the sore sore cheeks of my bottom As he moved back and fore his stiff thing slid up and down up and down up and down, and each time it went down the very end slid across my rosebud . . . They must both have put something slippery on themselves I thought vaguely -because they both slid in and out between my legs so smooooothly! Then Penty started talking: - Joanie my love . . You have made your full penance . . You have expiated all the wrongs you have ever done . . You have atoned now . . . for everything . . And we all of us admire and love you very dearly . . . . . He was holding me by the waist as he moved and Sir John was holding my shoulders as he stood behind me sliding his stiff thing up and down in the groove of my bottom I reached my arms around Uncle Penty's muscular waist and helped his movements as he swayed to and from me and side to side against my pussy . . . I had little notion back then aged twelve exactly what was happening -I had once glimpsed a picture of a naked man with an erection but had no idea then about what it did or how - I was only conscious that night as my body slowly warmed sandwiched between Uncle Penty and Sir John, of a thrilling feeling of deep and wonderful excitement rising within me, excitement of a kind I had before only had a faint premonition . . . I felt Sir John behind me sliding his stiff thing more quickly up and down in the groove between the cheeks of my firm round bottom and the end rubbed harder and harder against my rosebud . . . First Uncle Penty press his thing in between my legs then Sir John pressed his into the groove between my cheeks, Then from the front then from the back again . . . And the pressure against my painful weals from the beatings only made my strange and wonderful excitement even greater . . . These heavenly sensations started to take over and control me more and more until I was jerking myself ecstatically against dear Penty and rubbing my pussy from side to side wildly against him . . . then I felt suddenly warm and slippery down there - I felt sure something liquid had come out of me -and I seemed to leave my body and soar in ecstasy away up into another world . . . . . . . . I was blissfully beyond caring about what exactly had happened standing limp and exhausted clamped firmly between the two naked men as I just sank my head into Penty's dear chest and closed my eyes . . . feeling as though I was in Heaven itself, mumbling: "Oh! Penty! Sweet Penty! Dear Penty! Wonderful Penty! I do love you, Penty! Oh!!" After what seemed ages of dreamy bliss while time stood still - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Penty took a cloth from the pocket of his bath robe and reached down and quickly wiped me clean between my legs, then he lifted me naked in his arms threw the corner of his robe over me carried me up the stairs - - -and laid me gently in my bed, pulling the warm covers carefully over my aching body . . . My last memory of that night of penance was Penty's lips at my ear as he whispered: "We helped you to atone, just as you wanted, Joanie my love. Then we showed you that we have always loved you by joining in a truly loving communion together with you." "Sleep very well my darling Joanie - and waken to enjoy your birthday like you have never enjoyed a birthday before!" When I woke up early with the sun pouring through my window, I went straight into my bathroom and into a warm tub to remove all my sweat and grime from last night . . . except I couldn't of course remove the black and purple marks left by the paddle and belt and ruler and willow cane and lash all over my back and legs and chest and tummy and firm round bottom... Those bruises made me feel sore and stiff for several days to come, reminding me of the penances I had made that night and the atonement I had given for all I had done wrong in the past . . . How wonderful it was of Penty and his friends to rid me of those awful feelings about being naughty, wayward, bad . . . and absolutely worthless! And if those feelings ever come back, Penty says, his friends have offered to come again and help me in the same way - They are such wonderful friends that Penty has!! The girls I had invited for my birthday-party came that afternoon and I wore a long dress with a sailor-collar neck and a full skirt and petticoats down to almost sweep the floor so no bruise or marks of any kind could be seen on me and a conjurer came who really did make a rabbit come out of his hat! I felt happy and so free of all care that it almost hurt . . . After I had kissed all my dear friends "Goodbye!" and they had finally gone, I threw myself on Penty's lap as he sat in the padded leather armchair and hugged him tight: "Dear darling Penty! What a wise and loving uncle you are!! And what wonderful friends you have to come and help me in the way they did!!!" "I look at the painting of dear Mama now and feel free at last to love her as her own dear daughter . . ." "I love her very dearly, Penty, and I feel she loves me too, now -and I am dreadfully happy!!!" "OWWWWW!!!!! Not so hard, Penty!! Just squeeze me very gently please - - -for the next day or two anyhow!" "Let me just cuddle into you, Penty my dearest uncle . . ." Something had "clicked": There was no more talk by teachers at school after this Christmas break when I became twelve about ADHD (whatever that is!) and "Ritalin would help you to concentrate" I suddenly found school work exciting and I could do it easily . . . I was soon amongst the top few in my class -and my school work never looked back again . . . For years after that night I felt as though I was living on the crest of a wave as I enjoyed my friends and my work like never before . . . As I look back on that whole evening of terrible pain when I did my penance I see how wisely and skillfully Penty and his three friends relieved me of the leaden feeling of guilt that had weighed on me for so many years by helping me to atone . . . I sometimes wonder what sort of miserable life I would have spent on doctors' drugs and in and out of the offices of counselors and psychologists if Penty and his wonderful friends had not understood enough or been kind enough or brave enough to give me that cathartic night of atonement . . . After I graduated from college and found a job then moved into my first apartment Uncle Penty made me a present of a padded leather armchair with some thongs of soft leather and of a copy of "Penances for a Nun" . . . If ever those feelings of guilt seem in danger of returning now -I find one of my dear friends who is wise and loving enough to give me penances like the ones inflicted on me that night -using my padded leather armchair, the thongs for my wrists and ankles, and "Penances for a Nun" as his manual . . . And it always ends in the same way: He pronounces me now fully atoned while exciting me more and more with his stiff member until I am jerking against him in uncontrollable ecstasy then collapse in his arms while he lovingly holds my battered and bruised body . . . And I awake with him next morning, still aching, but feeling as free as a lark and ready to sing!!! As the years have passed, I find myself more and more comfortable with the events of the past, so I am no longer deeply troubled by them . . .But I am always ready and willing to undergo a session of penance and I really do enjoy atoning . . . Colophon By Uncle Penty
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