ALTERNATIVE CAROLS: REPORT FOR DECEMBER 24TH

BY CORNER GHOST

We understand that the local prostitues were not having many customers even though they were dressed appropiately, until some one pointed out that the Carol wasn't 'Deck the Whores with Boughs of Holly'

The older girls went carol singing to the local old people home, where they were treated with glee by the elderly men — they said that 'As With Glassess, Men of Old' seemed quite young! Some of the group went topless, we've been told that Jannett was popular with her tits but many men wanted to 'Jingle Belles' more.

Words were being heard from Mistress Emmannuelles quarters, it appears that she was showing many of the children about mastubation, as they could be heard calling 'Oh cum, Oh cum, Emmannuelle!'

We found two trainees from the local semminary in a girls dormitory, it appears they were asking the girls to worship as they were saying 'Oh cum all ye faithful' or was it just a case of 'While Shepards fucked their flock by night!'

We were called to a bedroom where two children were engaged in sex the girl had climaxed but not the boy, I had noted that 'She Came upon a Midnight Clear'

Responding to an alarm in the Kitchen area — One child was found in the oven almost roasting before we found her, the report read 'Ding-Dong! Mary-Lee's on High'.

One boy was returned by Commander Evans, he'd been found having sex with a woman that no-body recognised, for that report we wrote that he was 'Away In A Stranger'.

In the end we tied all the children up and gagged them, I had to report we had a very 'Silent Night!'