A car pulled into the driveway.
When the engine was shut off, the activity in the dark room changed...
Steve pounded on the door. No answer.
He made a face, and dug for his keys.
"Ig. Hey... You here?" He flicked on a light switch.
No Iggy.
Steve looked around the living room - and stared at the cigars.
There was a box of cigars on the coffee table. Expensive ones.
He walked into the kitchen, still eyeing the cigars. Getting a beer and opening it, he looked at the dirty dishes in the sink. They were dry.
He stuck his head in the garage... and looked at Iggy's truck.
Lumbering downstairs, he called out for Iggy. No sign of him there.
Or in the spare bedroom. The bathroom was empty...
His bedroom door was closed.
Steve stood there for a minute, and eventually pressed his ear against the door. Then he knocked.
"Ig? It's me. You in there?"
Nothing.
He called a couple more times, and knocked harder. When that didn't bring a response either, he cracked the door open -
Cigar smoke. Stale...
"Whew," he mumbled, stepping back. Then he sniffed.
He stood there, thinking. Sniffed a couple more times. Thought some more. Then he opened the door a few more inches, and peeked inside.
It was dark. The bed had nobody on it. Blankets and sheets all off to the side, dirty clothes scattered on the floor.
Steve closed the door and looked at it for a minute, drinking his beer.
Ig's answering machine had three messages. Two from his boss, and one from Steve.
He started playing the outgoing message too, but hit the stop button after a few seconds.
"Huh," he said to the machine.
He chugged his beer, got a new one and went back into the living room. After looking around, he dug in the couch cushions and pulled out the remote...
Surfed until he found the adult channel.
He put his feet up on the coffee table. They were a couple inches away from the cigars.
"But you don't smoke, Ig," Steve murmured into his beer bottle. "You hate smokin'."
And he stared at the cigars for awhile.
Steve looked toward the hallway. Over toward the kitchen...
And he sat up slowly. Picked a cigar out of the box. Looked it over, squeezed it, smelled it.
Stuck it between his teeth.
He patted his pockets, and frowned.
In the kitchen, he came up with a dusty ashtray and a box of matches. He took a big knife and whacked the cigar ends off, too.
Back on the couch, shoes kicked off, feet back up, he lit the cigar. Shaking out the match, he took a long pull. And he nodded.
He seemed to be enjoying himself. Smoking, drinking, watching soft-core porn on Ig's thirty-six-inch TV. After a half-hour or so, he got up and went to the can. The cigar, parked in his mouth while he made water, was maybe halfway gone.
Steve's back was to the hallway, so he didn't see anything... unusual.
He stepped out of the bathroom and looked to his left.
The bedroom door was slightly open.
Steve did a slow double-take at that. Looked to his right, and toward the spare room. Stood there silently.
His expression was sour, but he crept toward the bedroom. He stopped and the door and took a silent breath, making the coal of his cigar brighten -
Standing back, he kicked the door open.
Other than the door bouncing back a little, nothing moved inside.
He reached his arm in and flipped the wall switch. Nothing happened. After a few seconds, he took a few slow puffs on his cigar, and backed out. Turned on the hall light.
Cautiously approaching the room again, he gave it another thirty seconds. Listening. Pulling on the cigar a few more times.
Steve stepped inside. Scanning the room. The closet was to the left. The door was wide open.
Edging over there, he paused and scooped up a hiking boot that was in his path. He lobbed it into the closet. It thumped off the back wall.
When nothing else was heard, he took two more steps. Small ones.
Behind him, the bedroom door slammed.
Your night's about to get... interesting.
You spin around, of course. Start to lunge -
I click on the lamp. Over by the bed. Your head turns. You even get your hand on the doorknob. On the doorknob... And then you see it. Stare at it, dude. It's what I'm going to do to you.
I've got a feather, high over the bed. I flick it at you. C'mere. Yeah, you. I wanna change... your... life.
You stare at it. Message for you, Steve. This is for you. The look on your face makes my night. And it's been a really cool night so far, before you walked into my trap. And it's a tight trap you're in, buddy. Shut tight.
Tragically, you don't pick up on the movement... behind your legs.
Four ropes are right where I want them. Here they go -
Slip knots, for a slippery-handed intruder... to take down a dude who's not slipping out of this one.
I wait the extra second for you to look down. There. Uh-oh, you're so fucked. And here's a little - boost. Both triceps - hey. Are you a gym rat? I'm even happier to meet ya. Lean. Leaner than some other guys I could mention... I grab your arms, and lift -
So I can turn your world upside-down.
You dangle there for a second - and drop the cigar. Lemme get that -
Seeing it float up - away from your ass... That's when you start to yell.
I turn on the TV. Fairly loud. Good thing I nailed that blanket over the window earlier, right over Iggy's miniblinds. I don't need you getting lucky tonight, though. Steve, you're getting a powerful... distraction.
And hey, you're hanging by your ankles. The rope circles and knots. Trusty nylon rope. Flopping like a fish on a stringer -
All except... your feet. I wrap around and hold 'em. You look... and you see nothing...
So you get creative. Swinging, twisting - oh, now you're going to reach up there and pick at the rope, huh? You think so?
Let's get you way from the wall. There. Just lookit these feet. Staying in the same place, no matter what you do.
Tied up tight.
More yelling. "Hallp! Haaaalllllpp!" Hmmmm. You're thrashing around too much to do your best shouting, I'd say. Is that what you call "yelling"? It's not as loud as it could be. I bet it's not loud enough.
Let's find out. Starting with these feet I captured. Old white socks... Hiding a treasure, maybe? I can hope. Bad socks. No way they're gonna interfere.
Well, I'll show them. I bring the feather over. Zeroing in, like a very special bomb. Guided feather-missile. In order to foil the socks, I'm giving you - the shaft. Rigid enough, for starters.
The hardest part of the feather lands on your left foot. Dead center. But you can't see that, way down there.
It's the moment of truth, Steve. Don't let me down, now. Here goes.
I drag the feather-stem. Down -
You stop... in mid-scream. Looking up again.
Scratch, back toward the toes. And across.
"Nnnnnnnnuh. Uh.," you groan. Or is it... a stifled... laugh? You aren't holding out on me, now are ya? Buddy?
Down up down up down up down. Slightly diagonal lines.
And there's this intense pressure in the room. All of a sudden. Building, building... to a level that just can't be withstood. Am I right?
Up down up d-
"Naaaaaaaaahhh haaaaa aeeeeee!," you laugh. No, that's more of a... roar. I'm liking it.
You're ticklish.
I can't believe how my luck is running. A little bit longer, and I'm really gonna be set. And so will you. Oh, yeah - ticklish, with that fine physique...
You flop some more. Just like a big ol' fish, with your arms flying all around. A-ha.
Down up down up down up down up down up down up down...
"Stah ah hah hah whuh huh huh whuh stuh staaah staaaaaaahpppllllllleeeee hooooowheeeee..."
And I am so glad to meet you. We're going to be there for each other. A long, intimate relationship. Intruder-to-captive.
The shaft presses hard, drawing circles and spirals and then some more lines and you're going nuts but I've got you good and tight Steve dude you just can't stand it so you laugh like you really mean every tortured vowel.
You don't know it, but you're about to start sweating like you've never sweat before, so I get that t-shirt
off - whoops. Dropped it. Lying near one of Iggy's shirts. Out of your reach... like everything will be, from now on. No clothes for you. Clothing optional. I opt out of clothing, if your feet are giving you away this badly. And the climate control will be kept where I like it. You're gonna sweat buckets anyway.
Your secret's out. The party of parties is waiting for you. The bar's stocked. You're gonna have the best possible time, and it'll seem like it's never, ever gonna end.
Now that I know what to do with you, let's just remove the word "socks" from your wardrobe. You don't need them. I'm anti-socks, so you're gonna be barefootin' it here.
Stick with "ha", Steve. Repeat a hundred million times. That's a good dude.
Off they come! Like magic...
And the magic never stops. Not when you're with me. Here's the business end of the feather -
Take that!
Oh. Hey. You're howling. You're shaking hard. And you yell - but then you start to laugh again. Make up your mind. You gonna raise help... or are you gonna laugh? I know the answer already, but you're going to have to find out the hard way. Another cry for help. And more really sincere laughing. Trying to make it a loud one, are ya? Make it count?
Let's try that big ol' left foot -
Oh. Laughing harder yet. You just gotta laugh... so... hard.
Well, if you want to get the cops in here, you just better get your priorities straight. Suck it up. Shit...
You're not as tough as you look. If you're such a soft touch, from one little feather -
I'm gonna help you focus. See?
C'mon now. Hold your mud. Look. You see it?
"No! No no nooooooooooooooo..."
Uh-huh. Oh yeah. It's another feather. There it goes. Your poor, defenseless feet...
Two feathers at once. Twice the tickling. Not a fraction of what you're in for, Steve, ol' buddy.
You'd better get your ass out of my grip. Right... now - Whoooo. Very impressive. Look at him go. So you aren't gonna yell for help anymore? Shout at the top of your lungs? You were louder before I started tickling. This is nothing.
So let's get your priorities straight. I'm gonna lay it on you... right after I lay you out.
Maybe it's the blood rushing to your head. I don't know. You look more distracted than ever. A little taste of things to come. Big things... Okay, let me take your arms and r-
No? You kidding me?
Then let's just move these feathers double-time - "Naaaaaawwwlllah hah hah hah nah nnnniiieeeeeee hee heeeeeee neee n-naaah nah aaaaawwwwllll..."
Wow, you're a basket case. Much better. No, quit it... there. I got 'em. I gotcha. They're not getting away again. I'm serious, I mean that literally... Look down.
That's the bed. Iggy's bed.
And there is the rope that's going to k-
Quit kidding around! Roll over. Coming in for a landing.
There you go. Kick. Kick kick. If you think I'm letting go of your ankles, you're fuckin' nuts. How could I tickle your feet like this if I let you kick all you want?
Uh, weren't you going to yell any more than that? Good and loud?
No? You just wanna laugh. Huh?
Well, then... Watch this. Up here.
Magic rope trick.
"Awwww haw haaaaawwww..."
Ta-dah! Tied. No applause, please... well, okay. Go ahead and try - oops. Nope. Your hands are tied. Just like they say, only you can say it now and really mean it. Sorry, my hands are tied.
They're down. Way up there, so your whole upper body is stuck. It's out of your hands, Steve. Get it?
I tied your hands down.
And now I'm going for your feet.
See the rope loosen. Oh - you're going to kick harder, are ya? What part of your present situation is escaping you, buddy?
Here. This will clarify things. I have an iron grip on your ankles. Now, I slide your ankles across the sheet. Out they go. And now I retie the rope...
And pull it through the eye-bolts in the floor. My idea. Just put 'em in today. Don't blame Iggy. It's all on me.
There. You're tied. I'm going to let you catch your breath. Off come the feathers. Just for a sec. You like? Not being tickled?
That's what I was counting on.
You... are exactly what I had in mind, Steve. I'm trippin' on you.
Damn. Could you be in any better shape? You're checking out the ropes already.
It's not going to help. Well, they help me. Now I can tickle you all night. And oh, dude, I mean... all night.
I got the jump on you. There's an intruder in the house. Iggy's house, broken into. But I'm not here to rip him off.
I'm here... to keep you here. Keep you down, and drive you nuts.
You okay with that?
"H-haaaaaalllllppp..."
Steve, Steve, Steve. What part of "fucked" don't you understand? O-kay. That's still not loud enough. I know it... I'll bet you know it... but since you wandered in here, I'm just not willing to take the chance. This has been a terrific day - for me - and you just made my night. Straight up.
The magic goes on and on. See? Now, it's a bandanna -
And now it's a gag. Hold... still, you. Off goes the TV.
There. Oh fuck, you should see yourself. Legs spread wide... Sides just waiting. I'm going to do unspeakable things to your armpits. And, let me just say, that's a tight set of abs you got there. And I'll bet you have no idea how sensitive - how increasingly ticklish you really are.
I think it's time for you to find out. Don't you?
No?
You'd rather test my knots, huh? That's understandable. I'm going to make you wish you never met Iggy. If you hadn't been friends, you wouldn't be here. Hell, Steve, if you hadn't been such a good friend, coming to check on Ig like this... see if he's okay... you wouldn't be in for the absolute longest night of your life.
I'm going to make you laugh so hard you will not believe it.
You're going to pay for having that spare key to Ig's place on ya. Paying some ultimate dues. Right here.
I'm the intruder who broke in, and you're the unluckiest man alive.
Last chance for a miracle... Steve.
Is that it? You ready?
No, you're not. And you never will be.
Oh well. Take a look. Down, dude. Down there.
Your feet...
Four hands.
Those are tickling hands. They're gonna send you into orbit.
Oh, now you get serious. You don't think you're getting out of this now, do you? Too late. Let that be a lesson to you. You're gagged, buddy. You're tied. Just for fun.
These hands are made of Chinese silk. I'm going to use them... right... here. Oh, shit - are your sides that bad? Really? You're not shitting me, are you? Your friendly neighborhood intruder? The one who's going to tickle you until you pass out. Yup. Now, Steve, they better be impressive... if you're gonna wig out like this. Unbearable. Oh, poor Steve, his sides are just unbearably ticklish, and that big bad intruder is working 'em over so hard...
And I mean - well, I'm thinkin', when I get to tickling, I expect it to be so much worse than anything you've ever had that you absolutely can't find words to describe it for me. That's how much you're going to feel it. I'm not going anywhere until you feel it that much. Way beyond words.
And I've got lots of gloves. I don't know how many I can tickle with, all at the same time. I really don't. Maybe we'll find out.
Later on, I'll turn you on to oil. Kick your fuckin' ass.
All the other tools -
You're... just laying there. If I didn't know better -
But I do. And I will.
Right now.
"Naaaaaaaaagh aaaaaaawg haaauuuuuu aaaaawwu auw auw auuuuwww..."
The feathers, Steve. Did you forget? Already? You did, didn't you? Got so busy staring at the first four gloves that you didn't see 'em getting ready?
You think that's bad?
Watch... this.
Very nice. For a rookie captive.
That was thirty minutes. Yup. That's all. We've got a good seven hours until daybreak. And I don't stop at daybreak. And I sure as hell won't let you pass out on me. Not when you've got so much tickling to take. Not a snowball's chance.
So add fourteen laps like that together, and then you start to get the idea. Start.
Man. You're a fuckin' mess. Look at you. Let's dry you off. Get some moisturizer on ya. A lot of mosturizer.
And, definitely - some water. Let me just untie this gag -
Stop it. No. Get a clue. Your voice is -
No you don't. See this? This is a finger. Tickling finger. I'm going to wag it in front of your nose. Uh-uh-uh, Steve. No yelling allowed. Too late now.
Oh yeah? You think so? Then here comes the gag, and here comes more tough tickling.
Let's try it again.
I untie the gag...
You - no.
You yell? Is that what you think?
Wrong. Gag back in.
Gloves... back down. Punish you real good.
Gag, untying -
And retying. Alright. Okay. If that's the way you want it, buddy. I've got gloves for you.
You've just earned a bad case of laryngitis. The hard way.
Breathe, now. There...
Some guys just don't learn. Good thing I enjoy pounding you as much as I do. You needed it -
And now, find out for yourself. No more gag.
Yup. Uh, what? Pardon me? Can't hear ya. I'm right in the room with you, and I can't hear that miserable excuse for a scream.
So you're safe. Or rather, I am. Now I can really let go. With your voice that scratchy, the odds of somebody else intruding are next to zero. Thanks, dude. Now I have nothing to worry about. Except you, of course. My only focus, now, if getting you to feel the tickling more strongly. I don't care how strong it seems - it's going to get worse. I know what I'm talking about. No limits.
Hmmmmm.
You drink some water, while I think about what "unlimited" really means for my new captive, here. That's you, Steve. That's you.
How ya doin'?
We're having some fun, huh? Well, I am. You better believe it.
Got a ways to go, to reach the halfway point. Of this night, the first night.
All night, tickling your badass self. Badass muscle-man, except that there's too much rope. And all these gloves.
You know, you're not pulling anywhere near as hard as you were earlier. Most guys would be starting to flag...
The thing is, you're not fading. And that's an excellent sign. Your limbs are done. Those muscles are done for the night. But your breathing is... well, wow. I get to keep going harder, and harder, and your endurance is right there, Steve.
Incredible stamina. I gotta say. We're gonna be at this long after the sun comes up. Oh, yeah. Because I say so, ultra-ticklish dude. Yeah.
You sure are quiet now. No more yelling out of you. All gone. Your voice will be weak, tomorrow. But you're not going to help it any, if you know what I mean. Tomorrow. Get it? Aw... you will.
Pretty impressive thrusting action. I mean that. You seem to be real desperate. Goin' at it for a couple hours now. And you can pump all you want, Steve. All you want...
I'm in it for the tickling. In case you didn't figure that out.
You want some relief from that flagpole you got there, you're gonna have to do it yourself. Which looks like it's gonna be a problem. Tied down, like you are.
So you better make me happy, or else you're not getting your rocks off. Steve. Gotta feel the tickling a lot harder than you have been. And maybe then I'll tickle your balls for a while. And tickle your ass-crack for a while.
Get some more feathers on that... aching... cock. Get you off.
I can do that. Just with feathers. I like to tease it hard, though. It's just brutal.
And you know how I don't like to rush things.
That's better. You're warming up now.
How 'bout some food? Huh?
Shit. Okay. Let me put that differently. Open your fuckin' mouth.
Like that. Now... chew.
That's it. What now? Why that face? It's a MightyBlock. Dude food. You're a gym rat, I bet you've scarfed a ton of these. Chocolate fudge...
And this one's chocolate banana.
Now, peanut b- Oh, yes you are.
Last one. Open up. Steve...
See that glove? Yeah? Guess what it's gonna do to your feet, right now, if you don't op-
That's better. Oatmeal raisin. Lots of energy for a guy who's gonna need it. I'll have to take care of your teeth myself, I guess. If Ig's out of floss, don't sweat it. I didn't forget.
What? Well... I'm gonna take care of you, man. Top-flight tickling needs top-notch fuel.
I'm no thief. Uh-uh. I planned ahead. A real thoughtful intruder. See, out back of the house, I've got more MightyBlocks. You don't wanna know how many. And all kinds of other stuff.
And anything you need, Steve... I'm totally ready to go out and get it.
Have some water. And -
Knock it off. I saw you, earlier...
There. Yeah! I slapped you. Now take the d-
Look. I'm going to keep on slapping you until you take this cigar. You are gonna smoke it.
Think about it a sec.
That's better. Your alternative is to get back to some serious full-scale tickling. Which you'll get anyway... I'd prefer that, myself.
But a longer break works for me. Makes the next tickling real wild. Aw no, here it comes again.
I want you to sit here and think about it. Get revved up nice and high.
So here's a match.
Very good.
With the stamina you've got, buddy, I say go ahead and smoke up. I insist. That's why I brought 'em.
You're gonna smoke when I want you to. And you're gonna enjoy the fuck out of each smoke.
Or I'll spend that time tickling you instead.
Steve. This cock, here... well, that just can't be healthy. Does it usually look like that? Are you sure you wouldn't like to cum now? All over yourself?
Keep it up, and I might just break down and give you a tough silk hand. Was that hour the best, or what? You are so damn ticklish... Nowhere near where you will be, where I get done with you. But I'm liking this. I'm liking this a lot.
If I hadn't picked Iggy's place to break into, you'd be home sawin' logs right now.
Instead of getting all this insane tickling.
Iron-man tickling.
Those iron-man races, they go on forever. Don't they?
Water. Drink up.
Now this. Hey! Don't... even try to spit it out.
You like beer.
Man needs a light, here.
You forget how to start a cigar, Steve? Puff.
C'mon. Puff.
That's the way. Lookin' good. You are a hell of a guy to have tied down, buddy.
You are the man to tickle. Incredible. And we're not even done for the night.
Hell... no.
Yeah! You're doing fine. For a first-timer, you're definitely worth my while. To tickle.
I'm ready to jump right back in, buddy. Your knees... I could get used to 'em. I think - no, I know - I am going to tickle those knees for a lot longer than you think. And I sure wouldn't want the rest of your body to feel left out. So you're gonna get it, the full ride, head to toe. I mean it, Steve. Never been more serious in my life.
I can't hear you. Your voice is gone. I did that on purpose, dude...
Caw? Call? Oh. Cock. What about it?
Yeah, it's hard. You ever gone this long, with it this hard, and not get your rocks off?
You've had silk on your nuts for a while. All around... Oh. Not enough, huh?
Gee, you'd almost think I was deliberately not touching your meat. Squeeeeeezing it. Pumping... You'd like that, wouldn't you.
See, the thing is, you may think you're ticklish now... But after you come, you're going to be - impossible. I don't know how to describe it.
All these hours of excellent tickling. And when I get you off - 'cause, buddy, you know
your hands are staying right where they are, I mean, I'd sooner pick up the phone and call the cops myself than untie you right now.
Anyway. When I get you off... and tickle you real hard... well, then I might start to see how much potential there is for you to maybe start to learn how to feel tickling enough. The way I like it.
Don't worry about it. I'll show you. No rush.
Okay. Here. Some water.
That? It's a cigarette. Yes you will. Because I say so.
You don't have time for a cigar, because I want to feather your cock for a long time. I think you need to cum. Yes. This is the money shot. So to speak.
This is your chance to show me what you got, Steve. When I finally get you off, the next ten minutes will tell it all.
I'm feeling confident. You have promise...
Smoke it. Tap. I'm going to - yes, I tap your chest, I point at the cigarette. And you better smoke up. I'm not kidding around here.
Yeah. You look good. With a short Camel hanging out of your mouth. I like it. That's all that counts...
It's a trade-off. The good news is, since you were in such great shape when I caught ya, I feel pretty sure you can smoke. And still advance in your ticklishness. It's an endless pursuit, Steve. No upper limit. Not really.
So - smoking is bad, usually, 'cause it delays things. You still feel it harder, and harder, but not as fast as you would if you didn't smoke.
But I definitely like what I'm putting you through.
We'll see how this next blazing, screaming lap goes. I'll lean on ya hard. And if I think you've got what it takes...
Yeah. Personally, I think so. Camels. Real badass. Steve likes them Camels. Almost as much as his cigars. Yeah, you better get used to that too.
Alright, buddy. Last drag. Go for it. Yup. I'll take that, thank... you.
Here they are. Oh yeah? Well, the more you shake your head, the longer this round is gonna last.
I'll just get 'em wrapped around you -
Shake that head. Just keep shaking it. You dog.
Extra tickling, coming up. I'm gonna push you into the next dimension. I will. And tomorrow's gonna be even better.
Yeah. I am. I'm tickling you again.
Laughing? I haven't seen that in a while. Yeah, sure, knock yourself o- Whoa, hey. I was kidding. Just kidding. You haven't had a cigarette in a while, huh? Alright, you done coughing now? You sure?
Then - laugh. Real hard, Steve, ol' buddy, you ticklish iron-man, you. Laugh like it helps you take it. Laugh like it'll make me back off.
You know better than that.
I have big, hard... long plans for you.
You lay there and laugh like it's showing me some small part of the endless blast of tickling sensation you're getting hammered with, deep inside.
And if I'm enjoying myself enough, I'll let you come - just so I can shove that tickling floodgate all the way open.
Laugh, Steve. And feel it so much more.
Water. Yes. You like water, don't you?
Now -
Hold it. Right... there.
Stop and remember what I did to you last night.
You do not want to take me on, Steve. Take it.
Here. I got you a lighter... 'cause you're a smoker now.
Okay. Looking good, there. After that last round, I decided. Yes. You're going to get where I want you to be. It's just going to take a little longer.
And that, dude, is A-OK with me.
It was going to take a hell of a long time, anyway.
I'm gonna go for it.
So. You smoke Camels now. You're gonna get hooked. And I'll be tickling. You can do both at once. Feel what I'm doing to you, and do some serious smokin', at the same time. Well, sometimes.
You leave that to me. I'll keep plenty of Camels around. And cigars.
We'll spend a lot of time together.
Right here...
This? Well, I thought you'd recognize it. Iggy's basement.
Blankets over the windows, so nobody can get nosy. Spoil our fun.
And it'll be a whole lot of fun. Count on me.
You're staying right here, and I'll gonna have me more and more fun -
This basement is all yours. You could use some furniture. I got it covered.
Tickling furniture. And fixtures. Made for overdrive tickling.
Wait 'til you see, Steve. You'll shit.
I'm the intruder, and I took charge around here.
You are my captive. And that's what you're going to stay, dude.
I believe in long-term... everything.
So I moved you, because I want you hidden good. Locked in. When I think of how much tickling I'm going to put you through! And how much more you're gonna feel it...
Anyway. The basement, and the spare mattress, just for you. What, were you thinkin' you could stay in Iggy's bed forever? It's his bed.
His room.
You're not an upstairs guy.
And your car is next to Ig's truck now. Stashed away. I had to reorganize the whole garage...
You moved in to Iggy's house, Steve. And nobody knows it. Except you.
And me.
That's how it works.
Iggy needs his room.
Have another smoke. Now. Okay. So you wonder where the hell Ig's at, and you come over. And you got a key! Just walk right in.
If, say, an intruder was already in here...
Tickling the fuck out of a guy - all day long - before you come in and raid the beer...
That intruder's got a real problem.
Or... an opportunity.
So maybe you don't see anybody when you look around the house... because you don't look hard enough. Another guy could have been... oh, I don't know... stuck in the closet. Of Ig's bedroom. Gagged real well.
You set your ass down, and fire up a cigar - one of my cigars, I might add - you're welcome - and you'd never know if there was a guy in Iggy's closet, getting tickled. And tickled. By an intruder. One that likes to show guys how to feel a thousand times more tickling than they
did before it caught up with 'em...
And when you go to take a leak, maybe that guy gets a blanket thrown over him...
Hauled downstairs...
But that was when you walked into Ig's room. And I tied you up.
Can you imagine? If I spent all day having fun - to have you walk in that night? Sit there and have a cigar. Even get up and pee, so I can free up the bedroom for ya... Throw a new sheet over Iggy's bed. A sheet which you mess up, by the way. You shit the bed. But I brought sheets. Oh yes I did. They're... you know, say it with me now - satin sheets! Under your ass, tomorrow. Real soon.
So maybe a guy was in the basement, sleeping it off. With earplugs - or toilet paper and tape, in this case, since Iggy didn't have real earplugs. So he wouldn't hear you...
I didn't bring earplugs, Steve. Hey, you're ready for another smoke. Go.
No way would I have hoped to catch two guys at once. Not without hauling 'em out to the boonies. What a great deal. I intrude on Iggy... I also get you.
And your voice went before anybody outside got wise. So I switched you guys after you finally conked out. He's upstairs... you're here.
While you sleep, I'm kicking his ass.
He needs more sleep than... than I'm gonna allow you to get. So you get... more... tickling.
How long can I pull this off, dude? Huh? That's the big question. I gotta give it a try.
So you gotta give it a try. So does he.
And, I kid you not, if I can only grab one of you before some fuckin' landlord lets himself in here... it's gonna be you. I'm serious.
But hey, you enjoy that smoke. I got it covered. Whatever you need, the intruder's on top of it. Even better - even better! Can you believe it? It gets better than having both of you guys laid out. Twenty-four hour tickling, almost...
I caught another break. You're gonna like this..
No. I'm not gonna tell ya. You'll find out.
Let's just say... Nobody's going to get nosy enough to come inside for a while. A long-ass while. Heh. We'll see.
Won't we, Steve?
Okay. Drink up. I'll feed you soon...
But not right now.
You know what I'm gonna do now. With these. Oh hell, get used to it. I know I am. You're getting tickled harder today, buddy. And I just know you're up to it.
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Here they go.
Feel it, Steve. Go ahead. Wiggle around. I've got you tied right. Oh, really, you find this funny? Insanely funny?
Not even close. You're gonna think this is nothing, later on - and I mean much later.
I'll get you up to speed. Feel it harder, dude. I get to tickle you until... I say you're done. That's why I'm the intruder, and you're finding so fuckin' much to laugh about.
You're here until you feel it as much as I want you to... And that's so damn much tickling, I can't believe it myself.
Let's have a great fuckin' time, Steve. This basement is your ultimate tickling retreat. I got you.
If you know you're my captive, laugh now. Yup. And if you know this tickling is only going to increase - laugh now. Nothing will get in the way of all this tickling, will it? Laugh real hard if you follow me...
That's right. You know it.
Time for a treat.
Here it is.
This... is oil. Uh-huh!
All for you, buddy.
Back among the living, huh?
Notice anything different?
Exciting... Or should I say, arousing? You seem to like 'em, Steve.
You like the color? How much they... shine? Nothing but the best for you, dude.
Satin sheets. Jet-black satin. I got a case of 'em. Let's keep this fine satin under you, whenever you're lying down. Which is gonna be... a lot.
Now, that works for me.
I was getting real tired of massaging the welts on your wrists. Rope just doesn't work, for the long-haul. Am I right?
These badass mutherfuckers are much better. They go with your jacket, Steve. Not that you're going to wearing it any time soon. But I figured, hey, you like leather. You'll get used to these.
Look at 'em. They're just better for you, dude, all the way around. There is no way you're getting up. Not 'til I take 'em off.
And I can take better care of your ankles this way, when you're sleeping. Resting up for more. I spend a lot of time on your wrists and ankles... and your backside. I am not gonna let anything go wrong. No bedsores allowed. No damaged skin. Zero.
These cuffs are... just what the intruder ordered.
What do you think?
It's padding.
When I get the ceiling finished, I'm gonna do the walls.
Got darker in here... in your basement.
I gotta say, dude, it was work all the hassle.
It's like being in a box of satin, isn't it? Steve's chamber. No in-out privileges.
Track lights. Twenty-five watt bulbs. Nice and dim - and they're only on that one wall.
Take another drag... that's it. Kick it out. See? See that? The way the smoke sorta drifts up? I like the was it makes the satin look, on the walls. And the whole room's got smoke in it, like that. But you only get to see it there. Yeah. When you stare like that, I'm glad I went to all the trouble.
Still got the overhead light. Or we can do it like this. Damn. I crack myself up. It's like a cave, isn't it? Some real fuckin' kinky... cave. In Ig's basement. Your room.
There's not another room like this anywhere, I bet.
Really sets the tone - I mean, I'm gettin' ideas. Buddy. Trapped in a cave like this. A private club, just for me - and you. Steve's place.
And the way you're feeling it, when I tickle you... feeling it harder, and harder... I know you're worthy of a cave like this.
