"I'm worried about your daughter."

"Why?"

"She's very flirtatious."

"And why is this a problem?"

"It's interfering with school work."

"How?"

"Lack of concentration. The flirting is taking up too much time and mental energy."

"Whose?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said whose time and mental energy is it taking up?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well for one thing I enjoy watching you squirm while you avoid the question, but I had strong evidence that you were being intentionally misleading."

"This meeting is supposed to be about your daughter."

"Yes, I know, but you implied something about my daughter that was actually about you, so technically you're the one who changed the subject."

"No, you're the one who said you enjoy watching me squirm. You were the subject of that statement, I was the object, and your daughter wasn't even mentioned."

"Do you have a problem with being objectified?"

"Linguistically? Of course not. It's kind of unavoidable."

"I didn't mean linguistically. I meant emotionally and mentally."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm trying to figure out if the time and mental energy you're expending on my daughter is a reaction to her objectification of you, or your objectification of her."

"I am not objectifying her! If I was I wouldn't be concerned about her as a student and a human being!"

"I'll have to take your word on that for now. What about her objectification of you?"

"She objectifies me?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure I want to tell you?"

"No, I'm not sure of anything right now. Do you?"

"Yes. Do you want to know how I know?"

"Oh what the hell. We left reality just after you sat down."

"My sitting down wasn't real enough for you?"

"Too real ma'am. Much too real."

"What, was the skirt too short for you?"

"It still is. I don't notice that you've lengthened it since."

"My, you are a stickler for linguistic precision, aren't you? May I ask how you can do that and watch my legs at the same time?"

"It's not as easy as it looks."

"And how easy does it look to you?"

"Not as easy as you ma'am. That's for sure."

"Gracious! Do you talk like that to all the parents, or just the ones who come in here to flirt?"

"So far you're the only parent I've ever talked to this way. But then you're the first one I know of who's come in to flirt, so sure, we'll go with that."

"Now now. There's no need to be testy. Do you ever talk to the students that way?"

"What way? Calling them easy? It would never even occur to me."

"Even if they are easy, and even if they would enjoy it?"

"I can't tell by looking which ones are easy, and I certainly can't tell which ones would enjoy it."

"I thought you said my daughter was being too flirtatious. What other proof do you need?"

"You asked me about students in general, not your daughter, and besides, it's inappropriate."

"And talking to me that way isn't?"

"OK. OK. You got me there."

"Did I really? Do I have you now?"

"Uh yeah. I'm afraid you do. I seem to have lost all my self-control in the space of a three minute conversation."

"Good! That's the way we like our men. Now shouldn't you really be having this conversation with my daughter?"