I had just taken the last seat in the conference room when another person entered. I say "person" lightly. She was tall, thin, blond, and kind of ditzy. I couldn't help but stand again, and offer her my seat.

"We could share," she said.

I had trouble believing I'd heard her correctly, and had no appropriate reaction to her inappropriate suggestion in front of all these people. "No thank you," I answered, and sat on the floor in the corner behind, and slightly to the right of the chair I'd just vacated.

She gave me an odd look that I couldn't interpret any better than her original comment, and sat in the chair with what seemed like an annoyed flounce.

Except, I noticed, she wasn't really sitting so much as hunching forward in it, her ass up in the air off the seat, and rocking gently back and forth in a hypnotic pantomime of fucking. And hypnotized I was throughout the entire meeting, eagerly awaiting the chance to say something else, to make up for my gruff faux-pas, to invite her to lunch, to hold those rocking hips in my hands on all fours or bent over a conference table buried to the hilt inside her.

But as soon as the meeting was over she jumped up, walked across the room, introduced herself to one of my coworkers and then left without so much as a backwards glance.

I tried to write it off, to chalk it up as one more miscommunication, but I couldn't let go, sat back at my desk staring at the computer screen as I had stared at her rocking hips and ass and legs, as unable to let go of this new obsession as I was unable to let go of her hips in my mind.

With a bit more decorum than she had shown I typed against my better judgment an email titled "Meeting followup" that said "It may not have seemed like it from my reaction but I did appreciate your suggestion."

Two hours later I received a response almost as inappropriate as the original comment, "Oh. You're talking about sharing a chair. You could have sat on my lap..."

But now I was no further than I had been at the beginning of the meeting, and no more able to react. So instead of working I simply sat and stared at her answer as I had sat and stared at her ass, trying without success to compose a coherent, seductive, and work-appropriate response while wondering what the hell I was going to do next.

For some reason simply asking her out in person never occurred to me, which is probably why she never spoke to me again.