Sometimes things happen that can shatter the image you have of who you are.
Given the proper motivation, the right incentive any man will give in. It may
not be his fault but sometimes, thick, brown, smelly shit just happens.

About 2 months ago it happened to me. It ruined my life. My therapist thought it
would help if I wrote it all down. Here is a list of things that John Pressman
never thought he would do.

See a Therapist.

Talk about personal feelings.

Cry like a bitch

Seriously consider suicide

Seriously consider divorce

Well... I'm not ready to talk about #6 yet.

I guess I should start at the beginning. I met Susan when we were in college. We
were just good friends for years. The first time I saw her I knew I was in
trouble. She was so fucking beautiful it was distracting.

I mean it was almost unfair. I completely lost my composure. It was puzzling,
how could anyone be that perfect. As we got to know each other I found I really
liked her -- as a person. In fact I think I overcompensated, I convinced myself
we were just friends, that as pretty as she was somehow I was not interested in
that way. It was clearly a defense mechanism. I mean I'm a pretty good looking
guy but she was taller, better looking and had an amazing personality. I did not
think I had a chance with her so I took the Just Friends route. The thing is
Just Friends became BEST Friends. Over the next 4 years we became inseparable.
Between phone calls, e-mails, and spending most of our free time together it was
incredible. I remember teasing her about her lousy taste in men. Similarly she
seemed to absolutely loathe every girl I dated. I think by Sr. year we were
starting to figure out why none of our relationships seemed to work out. Every
woman I met was held up to Susan's standard and fell woefully short. Blonde hair
yes, but out of a bottle. Nice tits, sure but not mouth wateringly perfect like
my good pal Susan's. Sweet ass, yeah I guess so but not juicy and firm as
Susan's. Personality? Funny? Kind? No, no, no... they just were not good enough.
I found out later Susan was comparing the guys she dated to me.

We both were scared about screwing up an amazing friendship so, we waited, and
stalled, and hemed, and hawed until... it was too late. We graduated. She moved
back home to San Jose, while I took a job in N.Y.

We spent our last night together on campus, visiting our favorite hang outs. As
the evening drew to a close I knew I was making a horrible mistake. How could I
let her go? Suddenly she took a chance and pulled me into her arms that final
night and told me how special I was, how much it would hurt to lose me. We were
moving to opposite sides of the country. She demanded that I promise we would
always be this close. She fit so snug, so absolutely perfect. This woman
belonged against me, pressed into me, nestled with me forever. I knew it. It was
a moment of total clarity, a true AHA! Gutless bastard that I was I did not kiss
her, I did not tell her that I loved her. I just held her for a long time, made
some chicken shit assurances and let her go.

That could have been the end, should have really. Five months went by. I was
doing well as a (very) Jr Ad exec in a growing firm. I had helped land a major
client who was about to seek representation elsewhere. My boss got most of the
credit but the right people noticed. About a month later a SrVP position opened
up in our San Francisco office. My boss was offered the job, and asked if I
would like to move with him. My new job paid more, I would have my own staff,
and the company would help cover my moving expenses. I had always been a New
Yorker and liked what I was doing. I was fresh out of school and still learning
the ropes. I thought it would be years before I could hope to land this kind of
job. Was I ready? I took the night to think it over. I went home, made dinner
fired up my computer and soon heard a familiar voice say, "You've got mail".
Mixed in with the inevitable AOL spam, was a letter from Susan.

"John it's been weeks since we talked, or even e-mailed, and I wanted to catch
up. I'd hate to think we would ever become one of those friends who were close
in college and don't see again until our 10 year reunion. You mean too much to
me. God I miss you so much! It seems strange not being able to come over and
just hang out or watch tv together. I never realized how hard it would be. I
know your busy with work and stuff, and I guess I am too but... John I hope we
can find a way to stay in touch. Geez I know I sound like a big pile of feminine
girly-mush. I should probably cancel this message right now but... I'm going to
hit send before I wimp out. Right... NOW!!"

I know it sounds dorky but I read her message a dozen times that night Susan was
reaching out to me, (again) and we both knew it. I did not respond to her, but I
told my boss the next day that I wanted the San Francisco job. That was Wed. By
Friday I was in Sunny CA. Friday afternoon I was at Susan's apartment, ringing
her bell trying not to piss my pants. The look on her face when she opened the
door was priceless. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hands were trembling.

"Hey Suze, got your e-mail. Thought I'd stop by for a visit", I said as we
laughed, and then hugged each other hard.

This time I did not stop there. I gave her the kiss that I should have that last
night in college. The kiss that I had wanted to give since I met her over 4
years ago.

And it was as simple as that.

We both knew. That first kiss was our declaration of love. Our commitment to
love and protect each other. I felt like shouting to the world "Susan is mine!
She belongs to me, and I love her!" I felt like I had wasted years already. I
had almost lost her forever when I moved to New York. I was tired of going slow
with her. We dated heavily for a month or so, and then I asked her to move in
with me. She said yes. But when she did I made a confession.

"Susan, you make me so happy thanks for moving in with me, I love you. I love
everything about you except... well except your last name. I think Susan
Pressman would sound a lot better. I don't want to just live with you. I want to
marry you. I want to be your husband, partner, lover, best friend -- I want it
all. I want to build a life with you, I want to be your children's father, I
want to put my ring on your finger and let everyone know that you are my
property, and that I am your slave. Susan, please baby will you marry me?" I
said as I dropped to one knee and put my life in her hands.

"Yes! Yes! YES!!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs before dropping to her
knees and falling into my arms, laughing, crying, giggling like a crazy person.

We were married 2 months later and everything seemed to be going our way. Within
4 months my boss suffered a severe heart attack and to everyone's surprise
(especially my own) named me his successor. The work was hard and I had to put
in a lot of long hours. Monday thru Thursday I averaged 10 hour days. But Friday
at five until Monday morning at 8 belonged to the woman I loved. We would often
spend the whole weekend in bed. She was the single most important thing in the
world to me and she knew it. I did regret not giving her a real honeymoon. I
wanted a month alone with my Susan. It was almost 3 years before I could swing
it but finally I found the time. I told her he could go anywhere she wanted,

Hawaii, Paris, no restrictions. My goofy lover said she wanted to drive cross
country with me. The most romantic thing she could think of would be to have me
alone in a car for 8 hours a day, to spend every moment with the man she loved.
Damn, I gotta tell you that does wonders for a guy's ego. Her only restriction
was that I could not bring my cell phone. She allowed me to check e-mail every
other day. We planned to take our time, see the sights. We mapped out a route
that took us to several local attractions, and major cities. The first week was
amazing.

We visited Hollywood, took in the Grand Canyon, and gambled in Las Vegas (I won
$4,000). We were making good time to Houston when our rental car broke down in
the middle of nowhere. It would have been nice to have a cell phone (Real
fucking nice). Instead I got out and did my best impression of a man who had a
clue as to what might be wrong. I loosened caps and jiggled wires, before
proclaiming that the car was "broken". We decided to walk back to the rest area
that we had passed about 2 miles back. The sun was setting and the handful of
cars who had passed refused to stop. It took about a half hour to reach the rest
stop. Susan went to the ladies room to freshen up, and I went to the phone to
call AAA.

There were a couple of cars and 3 or 4 motor cycles in the area. I was on the
phone for about 5 minutes when I heard a woman say in a loud voice: "No! let me
pass, leave me alone". I knew that voice, it was my wife's! I put down the phone
and ran around the corner to the ladies room. Three men and one young girl had
formed a circle around Susan. She looked terrified. I knew I could not take on 3
men by myself and Susan did not seem to be in immediate danger so I ran back to
see if I could get some help.

All the cars were gone. Only the motor cycles remained. My hands were shaking as
I dialed 911.

"Police is this an emergency... yes sir calm down, where are you... ok stay
right there, the nearest car is about 20 minutes away."

"AAAAIGGHH HELP,HELP!!!" I dropped the phone and ran to help my wife.

I'll never forget the sight of my wife, her shirt was off and the biker bitch
was playing with her tits through her bra, while her men laughed. I picked up a
beer bottle from the trash and ran towards them. I cracked the big one over the
back of the head and he went down. I waved the jagged neck around wildly as I
fought my way to Susan. The look of adoration, of sheer joy from absolute
despair that lit up her face touched me deeply. She quickly bent down and picked
up two hand sized rocks and we faced the 3 bikers left, together.

"We don't want trouble. Just take your friend and let us go. I have already
called the police and they will be here in a few minutes," I said as we waved
our weapons in their direction menacingly. It was a standoff, until the big guy
I had hit got to his feet. And pulled his gun.

"Drop em, or you die right now!" he snarled. We had no choice. I gave him my
wallet and asked him to leave us in peace.

"I like you little fella, ya got guts. You tackled the 4 of us and almost pulled
it off. You gave me your money without me having to ask, that was real smart.
I'm gong to let you live. Heck I'll let you go right now. When I'm through with
your wife you can have her back."

"Whu, whut do you mean, what are you going to do to my wife?"

"We are going to rape her, long and hard and nasty. Don't worry, Beth here will
lick her real good before we fuck her cunt and her ass so she shouldn't get hut
too bad. Usually we make the guy watch, but like I said, I like you so you don't
have to. One thing though, if the police come back here, she is dead. We are all
3 time losers, so we can't afford to get caught." Susan was sobbing hysterically
and the 4 bikers were laughing and sneering in anticipation of raping her. Beth
kissed her roughly and resumed playing with Susan's tits. Suddenly she reached
behind and undid the clasps on my wife's bra. Susan tried to cover up but Beth
would not let her. The leader with the gun told Susan to strip.

"Beth leave her be. I want her to take those jeans off, remove her panties and
bend over this table so I can rape her."

My beautiful, innocent wife lost it at that point.

"Please. please don't do this, oh god no, don't rape me, don't make me. John do
something, help me!"

I stood there and watched as the woman I loved more than anything was about to
be destroyed. Our lives were about to be ruined. I could not leave her, and I
could not bear to watch her violation. I had to do something, I had to try. My
macho instincts told me to go rambo-ninja apeshit, to go down fighting, to try
and jump the guy with the gun, wrestle it away somehow, kill them all for daring
to look at my Susan that way. I wanted to do that... but I knew I would not
succeed. Most likely that plan would get me killed, my wife would still get
raped, and probably murdered afterwards to eliminate all witnesses. No, what I
needed was to stall, to allow the police time to arrive. To this day I don't
know where the idea came from.

"Leave her alone. Take me instead", a voice said. It took me a minute to realize
that it was my own.

It got really quiet then. Everyone stopped looking at my wife and turned to me.

"Lil fella, what are you talking about, we aint no faggots. I got a beautiful
woman why the fuck would we give her up to fuck you?" he laughed.

You got to remember I am in advertising. I spend every day convincing people to
buy things they don't need, don't want. I overcome objections and put my product
in the best possible light. It's what I do, and I'm damned good at it. I size up
my client and create an ad campaign custom tailored to win them over. This was
my greatest challenge, my most important pitch.

I would not fail.

First of all I reviewed what I knew about them. They were strong, worked as a
unit, experienced and liked to utterly dominate and humiliate. I could use that.

"Look I know you are not gay but I think you are missing an incredible
opportunity here. First off you should know my wife has herpes. Check my wallet,
this is why I have to wear a condom even though we are married. Sure you could
rape her but think about how much nastier it would be to rape me. In front of my
own wife. I will lick, and kiss and suck you all. I'll be your hot and willing
he-bitch on the outside. But on the inside... you know how much I'll hate it,
hate all of you. Oh god it is going to be so humiliating, so degrading. I'll
just have to take it, I'll just have to smile, and suck, and swallow -- while
you gang rape me and the woman I love has to watch. The reality is my wife is
already shutting down, going into shock. You might as well fuck a corpse. You
say you have all been to jail... are you telling me none of you have ever forced
a weaker man to satisfy you sexually? How did it feel to have him hold his ass
open while you pounded him? Did you enjoy having some helpless boy suck your
smelly dicks. Oh, I promise I would suck you so fucking good. I'll swallow every
drop. Do any fucking thing you want to me and I swear I will smile and ask, no
humbly beg for more. I am yours. Only... please, god, please god spare my wife,"
I pleaded as hot tears came down my face and I sank to the floor and kissed the
leader's boot.

I glanced at Susan and she was clearly stunned by my offer. I don't think she
realized until then just how much I loved her, how precious she was to me. You
see I know that I had already hurt her once. Not through any action on my part
but through my complete gutless inaction I had let her come to harm, failed to
show her that I loved her, to claim her as my own. I had almost lost the woman I
loved then. IT. Would. Never. Happen. Again. NOBODY fucks my wife but me. I
PROTECT her. I would die for this woman. But dying would not be enough to save
her. So I would let myself be raped for her. The thing that seemed to amaze her
was that this was not even a hard decision for me. A part of me had passed love
and crossed the line into insanity. I was looking forward to demonstrating my
devotion, to proving that our love was stronger than their sick hatred. The
bikers talked it over, for about a minute.

"Ok, little fella you make a good point. We can have a regular rape anytime.
This could be fun. But if we are gonna do this we need rules. There are 4 of us.
We each get 1 turn with you, and can do anything we want. You have to make a
real effort to make love to us while your wife watches. You have to make each of
us cum until we are satisfied. If you do, fine you win, you and your wife are
free to go. But if you can't make us all cum, or if you resist... your wife
becomes our bitch-slut for a week. I promise you we'll break the little stuck up
snob. I have a lot of friends, and I like to share. Do we have a deal... good!
Hop on our hawgs and let's get to our motel room before the Pigs show up."

Me, Beth and my wife all rode behind one of the men. It was surreal as our
little convoy zipped down the highway. I had my arms wrapped tight around the
stomach of a man who was about to rape the shit out of me. My wife clutched
another man close, and I knew he would just love to get his dick inside her
tight little hole. We passed by our broken rental car and I could not believe
the motel was less than a mile away from our car. If we had walked forward
instead of back to the rest area none of this would have happened. We never
would have met these assholes. We did not pass anyone or have a chance to signal
for help. They led us at gunpoint into a large room with 2 double beds, and a
large couch.

I remember thinking this could not be happening, I was about to be humiliated,
brutalized, raped in front of my wife. I have never hated 4 human beings as much
as I did this scum. For the first time in my life I wished I was one of those
macho, athletic types. If I thought for even a second that I had a chance I'd go
for it. Susan had already proven she would stand by me, help me fight. It was
tempting but 4 on 2, where 4 are bigger stronger, and have a gun... that's
hopeless. I tried to resign myself to my fate, to accept it, survive it. The
first words out of the big asshole's mouth scared the shit out of me.

"Ok bitch get naked. I want to see your tits, and that juicy ass right now."

"Wha, what are you saying, you promised to leave her alone, don't do this!"

"I promised we would not fuck her, I said nothing about getting a look, and a
feel. Besides I want her to be ready, I want to remind you of what is going to
happen. If you screw up, even once, we are going to fuck her right in front of
you."

Susan was too scared to cry as Beth forcibly removed her clothing. She was not
gentle, snatching and jerking her top and the her jeans off.

Soon she was down to just panties and a bra.

"Take them off bitch, get on the bed and spread your legs open so I can have a
taste."

Susan was shaking visibly as she got naked, and had difficulty removing her bra.
Finally her large firm breasts were free. The with a shudder and a sigh she
pulled her panties off. She tried to cover her privates, but it was no use. She
looked desperate, pathetic.

"John, help me, tell me what to do. I can't take it, Pleeeze, John..."

I never felt so weak, so utterly fucking useless as I did watching that bitch
Beth and one of those goons hold my wife down, and spread her open on that
fucking bed. She was screaming and bucking wildly, desperately but it was no
use. The 3rd guy held the gun on me, and the leader got on the bed and prepared
to lick Susan's pussy. He took his time about it and savored the experience.
First he nibbled the fleshy part of her upper thigh, sucking and slowly licking
her meat. He blew softly on her well trimmed crotch and then sunk a finger in
her vagina. He was just playing with her! Susan and I begged him to stop, to
leave her alone. I pleaded with him to take me instead. He just kept licking my
wife. When he finally stuck his tongue in it was agony to watch. I could see it
wiggling around inside her pussy. His hands were playing with her ass now,
squeezing and separating her cheeks. Beth had a meaty tit in one hand and the
other guy bent down to suck on the other one. I was tempted to end it all, I was
not thinking clearly. I was about to attack the leader, I knew I would fail but
I had to TRY. That's when he told them to stop.

"Ok John it's your turn. Take your clothes off and then put your wife's bra and
panties on. Beth will get you some lipstick. Take your time, we'll play with
your wife while you change," he said as he went back to sucking on Susan,
greedily licking, and lapping and slurping my wife's pussy.

It took less than a minute to rip my clothes off. I grabbed her pink lace
panties and squeezed into them as best I could. The bra took a little longer.
Susan is a 38DD and I am not a large man so it fit, but I had difficulty getting
it closed. Finally I twisted it around, hooked it and then twisted it back.
There was little time for me to think, I was on Auto pilot, my wife was being
orally molested and needed me. I kept telling her to "hang on, that it was
almost over". Beth smeared cherry red lipstick on me and I was ready.

The leader looked up from my wife's wet cunt and smiled at me.

"You look very pretty John. I can't wait to rape you. I'll go first, then
mad-dog, then Beth, and then Skull crusher. You remind me of a sweet little boy
bitch I had the last time I was in the joint. We were together for 3 years. I'm
no faggot, but I kinda miss the little fella. Your wife is going to sit on the
couch, with her cunt wet and wide open. If she closes her legs she will be
punished. Come over here and sit on my lap sweetie."

Susan reached out to me, as they dragged her to the couch, we hugged briefly and
I told her I would be ok, that it would be over soon. I then walked to the
leader and gingerly, awkwardly sat on his lap. His strong arms wrapped around me
and he began nuzzling me, and kissing my neck softly. He slowly worked his way
to my lips.

"Open your mouth baby and give me that hot little tongue of yours. I want to
taste that sweet, wet mouth," he said with a feverish, lust-filled leer.

I glanced up to see Susan and that was all the incentive I needed. Her legs were
gapped wide and I just knew if I hesitated the others would gladly rape her.
They were messing with her tits a little but that was all. So far.

As I look back on it, I hate to admit it but he really was a good kisser. Don't
get me wrong, I fucking hated it, him, the situation... but on a purely sensual
technique level... well it was not bad. I guess it surprised me. I mean I'm no
Mr. macho, and while I don't have strong feelings against gays (some of my best
friends are gay, well ok 1 -- and maybe BEST friend is too strong, but I do like
the guy, I mean not sexually, but he is nice); my point is I am not, nor have I
ever been a member of the gay party. Apparently though a good kiss is a good
kiss.

The leader was slowly sucking on my lower lip, while holding me tight.

Then as I opened my mouth a little his tongue flicked across my teeth and sent a
little chill through me. The first time he sucked me in, I panicked a little
but, he slowed down and let me get used to him.

"Play with my cock baby, get me nice and hard so I can stick you good."

I reached down and unzipped him. My rapist had a long, fat cock. There was no
way that was going to fit inside of my ass! The idea of playing with another
man's cock was alien to me, but I had to. I gently rolled him from cock head to
its base, while we made out. I felt him get hard in my hands.

"So, good, so fucking good you hot little he-slut. I've been kissing you, now I
want you to straddle me and suck me hard. Tell me how bad you want my cock
inside of you. Tell your wife that you never loved her, that I am all you need.
DO IT you fucking slut!"

My heart, my ears, my blood were pounding. I could barely catch my breath. I put
my legs on either side of the leader and snuggled up tight against him. I could
feel his cock pressing into my stomach. I began to kiss him, suck him lick his
face with abandon. It sickened me to say it but I did.

"Oh daddy, your little girl loves you. Please fuck me, please rape me. I need it
so bad. FUCK me now daddy, hurt my hot little ass. Teach your virgin little
boy-girl how to ass fuck. I'm ready now daddy, I never liked having sex with
her. Her fat tits are disgusting, it's your hairy muscled chest that I need,
that I love."

Susan let out an audible gasp and screamed "No!" I had hurt her, she thought I
really was beginning to enjoy myself. I wasn't but I had to pretend to.

"What a little slut! Ok bitch I'm ready to rape you, since you obviously need
it. I want your wife to feel it. So here is what we're gonna do.

She is going to lie down on her back. You will lie on top of her with your cute
little ass sticking up. She can look you in the eye and hug you tight while I
rape your sweet ass."

The others were laughing and cheering him on while my wife and I got into
position. Susan held me in her arms and kissed me softly while we waited for him
to stick me with his monster cock.

"John baby, I'm so sorry. Hang on honey I'm here it will be ok. Focus on me,
pretend it is me. We are back home, in our bed making love on a Saturday
afternoon. I love you baby, I will love only you forever," my wife said through
tears as she held me tight.

The leader pulled my dry ass apart and spit into it a few times. Then he lined
his cock up with my anus and slowly sank his dick inside of me. "Arrrghhh! Shit!
You are ripping me open, you are hurting me! Oh god be gentle, please, let me
get used to it. Slow down."

But he did not. He kept going deeper, harder, faster. I knew I was bleeding
some. Actually I guess that helped him slide in easier. The pain was
unbelievable. I laid my head down on my wife's chest and just cried and sobbed,
and whimpered like a baby. To have her see it, to have her feel my body being
power-fucked, to have my snot, and blood, and tears, and shit, and his cum drip
on the woman I loved was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The
taunts and jeers and lewd remarks from the assholes who were next were hard to
take to. This was not over.

It was just the beginning.

"God you are one incredible lay. You are going through this to save your wife?
She obviously does not love you. I'm no faggot. She could end this with a word.
She could make a deal to save you. All she has to do is tell us to stop, to
offer her hot, sexy, willing -- FEMALE body to us and you would be spared. Jesus
fuck woman, how can you lay there and let me rape your husband. Don't you love
him, even a little?! You know it is your place to be raped, it should be you.
What you are doing to him is cruel. He loves you woman, you don't deserve him.
Oh well, since you don't care about him, why should I? Come on slut, tell me
that you love it. Fuck me back, squeeze my cock in your ass. Come on little girl
beg me to cum, make me cum inside of you.

I had to, I had to do it. Oh god, no, but I had to protect Susan.

"Please daddy, harder, I need it harder. RAPE ME DADDY! Rip me open. Just fuck
your little girl. I need it so bad, it feels so good to have you inside me where
you belong. I love my strong daddy's cock. You make my butt feel all warm and
tingly. Thank you daddy, I will always remember our special night."

That did it, that pushed him over the edge. He grabbed my hips and began
pounding my ass hard, yanking me back to meet his thrusts. It was wild, I was
terrified as my rapist split me open. I felt myself tear inside. He was humping
me now, pumping his dick into me as fast as he could. finally he screamed my
name and came, and oozed his seed deep, down in the bottom of my ass.

He left his cock inside me for several minutes while I cried on my wife's chest.
She rocked me tight and told me that what he said was not true, that she DID
love me. The Leader was kissing my back and neck while giving me a slow massage.
I lightly sucked my wife's nipple for comfort as it slowly dawned on me. He was
getting hard again. It did not hurt as bad this time, as I was already loose,
and lubed. He took his time and savored my ass. He seemed almost thankful,
gentle. Perhaps he was recalling fond memories with his prison lover, I don't
know. In a sick, sad way I was grateful. By contrast this slow, tender rape was
almost pleasurable. I was sucking the tit that I loved, wrapped in my wife's
loving arms. I was not in pain, and honestly it was not nearly as humiliating
the second time around. The leader gently fucked me, rested, massaged kissed and
finally came inside of me a second time.

One down. Three to go.

I don't know if I can explain how much pain I was in at that moment.

Physically, shit it was almost unbearable. A large cock was buried to the hilt
in my ass. My rapist was stronger than I, and did not really care how much he
hurt me. I was cracked and bleeding. My whimpers and shivers and tears seemed to
excite him, to make him want to fuck me even harder. My bowels were on fire,
every move, every thrust he made, sent fresh waves of pain through me. He had
just cum deep inside me a second time, and for a moment I thought he might
somehow stay hard for a third round. He had the right to do that if he wanted.
Our deal was that I had to completely satisfy each of the four assholes who had
kidnapped me and my wife. If I could do it, with a smile on my face, then I won,
WE won, and the woman I loved would be spared. If I failed to please them all
sexually, if I resisted in any way they would force me to watch Susan being
raped by them. She would become their fuck-slut for a week, and would be shared
with their filthy biker friends.

In a weird way that actually helped. I KNEW that my wife would not have been
able to survive the vicious rape I had just been through, never mind being their
property for a week! Despite my slight build and appearance, we both know that I
am tougher mentally, physically and emotionally. Oh make no mistake, after the
first rape my brain was shrieking, I felt my sanity slipping away but a small
portion of me clung to the hope that it would soon be over. I knew what I had to
do, and I was determined to save us both. The hardest part of this ordeal had
been that my rapist placed me on top of my wife, he made her hold me while he
fucked my ass. I had to look her in the eye as I lost my anal virginity. She saw
me break, saw my fear, and heard the slutty, disgusting things I had to say to
save us. I wanted to believe she still loved me, still respected me but deep
down -- how could she? How could I be a man in her eyes? I was wearing her bra,
panties and lipstick. I was forced to talk in a feminine voice, and pretend that
I loved my rapist. How could I expect Susan to respect me when I could no longer
respect myself?

The leader's dick finally shrivelled up (I hope it falls off) and he withdrew
from my ass with a slimy, wet plop.

"Sweetheart, you were incredible. It's been along time since a slut has
pleasured me that well. Come here baby and give daddy a goodbye kiss. Mmmm you
taste so good, so fucking good... Ok, you win, I'm satisfied. Mad-dog, it's your
turn. Tear this slut up brother, enjoy yourself"

Mad-dog was a small dirty looking thug. He had the eyes of a killer -- no worse
than that. He had the eyes of someone who ENJOYED killing. He scared the shit
out of me. When the leader raped me, pain was incidental to him. He did not care
if he hurt me or not, so long as he received pleasure. Somehow I knew it would
be different with Mad-dog. Pain was not incidental for him. It was the whole
fucking point, it was required.

He got right to work making that clear.

"I don't like faggots. If it was up to me we would be fucking your wife right
now. I'd have her pretty face wrapped around my dick. I'd be fucking that wet
little mouth. It is your fault that I'm not able to rape her. This was your
idea. Fine bitch, but you are going to pay. Remember if you fuck up, I get your
wife too. I hope to god you fuck up. What do you say to that you fagified piece
of chicken shit?!"

I wanted to wipe that nasty little smirk off his face, I wanted to punch him
hard and see his eyes glaze over with pain, hear his nose make a wet crunching
sound. I wanted that but instead I said, "Please tell me how I can please you
master" in a little girl's falsetto.

"Let me make it easy for you, I ain't no faggot lover. I ain't going to kiss
you, that's fer mother fucking sure. I don't take sloppy seconds either, so your
cute little ass is safe too. So I guess the only thing you are good for is
swallowing my cock," he said as he pulled down his pants and pointed to his
uncircumcised 6 incher.

It wasn't a huge cock (although it was pretty thick). The problem was it looked
so nasty, almost diseased. It seemed to have a life of its own as it twitched
and bucked as I drew near. It smelled -- bad. I could not make myself believe
that I had to take this man's penis into my mouth.

For a second I thought I would lose it and puke on Mad-dog's cock. A sick part
of me almost laughed as I got a visual of his dick covered in thick smelly
chunks. Heh, heh. I guess I must have snickered a little bit out loud. In
retrospect, that was a mistake.

"You think this is a game bitch, you think I'm playing with you mother fucker?
Don't (Smack) you ever (punch) laugh at me you piece of shit."

I was dazed from the hard punches to my stomach and the stinging slaps to my
face. I could taste the salty tang of blood in my mouth and was gasping for air
at his feet when he rammed his cock down my throat. "Choke on it slut, swallow
my cock little girl. Mmm thas it, thas nice. Now lick it, play with it," he
demanded as I knelt, submissively sucking his dirty prick.

It as kind of a strange sensation. I had never been on the other end before. It
was kind of scary. Every few strokes he would get excited and enter my throat.
It burned and made me choke. I kept thinking I would pass out. Then he would
pull out a little. My mouth was making this wet gurgly sound as I licked and
sucked and slurped on my 2nd rapist's dick. Don't take this the wrong way but if
you are ever given the choice between sucking a 6 inch dick or having an 8
incher crammed up your ass (twice), uh go with 6, every time. Gross, nasty,
unpleasant -- you bet your ass it was. But compared to a vicious anal rape it
was a breeze. In fact... well it was kind of cool. I mean this badass biker
thought he could break me. I'm sitting there in a bra and panties sucking his
cock for all I'm worth, and it barely phased me. He thought he was so bad, so
scary. He thought he was humiliating me, I could not help but smirk a little, to
let my utter contempt reach the front of my eyes as I gazed up at him.

That was mistake # 2.

"You filthy bitch, you like it, you like this?! Fine, lay down, lay down on your
back and open your mouth," he said as he straddled my face. My head was flat on
the floor and he began to deep drill my throat. This time he did not pull out
quickly. I could not get enough air and my legs were bucking wildly. He grabbed
me by my ears and squeezed my head tight as he slowly power fucked my throat. It
was not funny anymore.

"Please let him go, he is choking. You are killing him. I'll do anything I love
him, let him go!!" Susan shrieked and pleaded and begged. Mad-dog got an evil
look on his face and pulled out just enough so I could breathe.

"How about it John. You know I want to fuck her. Have you had enough yet sissy
boy? I want you to give her to me. I want her to hear you tell me it's ok to
fuck your hot, sexy, wife. Say it bitch! Say it right now!" He screamed as he
smacked my face over and over with his cock. For the third time that night I
really thought I might die. So be it. If I died, I was determined that Susan
know I loved her, and would never betray her. Maybe that would be enough to see
her through. "Master your cock tastes good, please let me suck it some more", I
said in a sultry, raspy, voice.

Mad-dog let out a low groan of frustration mixed with raw animal lust as he
began slamming me hard again.

"Fine, you bitch. Take it, take it, take it all. You suck that cock, just lick
it baby. Mmm, you like that, you want this? I'm gonna fuck you all night. Never
gonna stop, ugh, ugh, oh shit, oh mother fucking shitTTT!"

Then he did something strange. He pulled out of my throat and cupped his hands
in front of his dick. Mad-dog shot load after ropey load of fresh cum into his
right hand. His dick was jerking and pulsing as he came. He was still straddling
my face and his sweaty balls rested on my chin, when he rubbed his handful of
cum all over my mouth, nose and eyes, saying, "Lick it up whore, lick all my
sweet cream up."

Slowly I stuck my tongue out and tasted his salty, sticky spunk. I lost it then,
it was so degrading, I felt the first tear burn it's way down my cheek, mixing
and merging with his cum. I could not breathe. I curled up in a ball at his feet
and thanked god it was over.

"Oh we ain't done yet sissy boy. You just keep sucking me, I'll be hard soon and
you can have another drink," He said as he roughly pulled me to my knees. It
took me a few seconds but as my wife looked on in mute horror, I finally started
licking and kissing the head of his cock.

Mad-dog was semi erect when I swallowed him again. Clearly he was enjoying
himself. I played with his hairy balls as I sucked his meat hard. Precum was
leaking out of him and he was sweating profusely. It soon became apparent that
he was having trouble getting it up again. Oh he tried, and obviously succeeded,
partially. But it seems ol Mad-dog only loaded one bullet in his gun that night.

I decided to rub it in.

"More baby, I need more of your thick cock. Fuck me Mad-dog, fuck my slutty
mouth good. Now Mad-dog, pleeeze I whined and begged in between long, slow
sucks.

His friends were snickering, softly chuckling at his expense. Finally he had
said, "you silly faggot, I have had enough of you," in a cold tone before
kicking me in the stomach and walking over to my wife. Mad-dog made her stand up
and began kissing her long and hard. His mostly soft dick was pressed against
her stomach. Both hands were on her naked ass, and he started humping himself
against her. Susan was struggling as best she could. If Mad-dog could have
gotten a full erection I have no doubt he would have fucked my wife right then.
But as the seconds went by he became completely soft and shrivelled. He was
done. He let go of my wife without a word and lit a cigarette. The Leader waited
a second to make sure he was done. Then he nodded to Beth and said "Next".

Beth walked over to me, and looked up in my eyes. She really was a cute thing.
Small petite, pretty. If it wasn't for the cruel set to her mouth she would seem
almost innocent. Beth had a lost little girl look to her, that even under these
circumstances was a little appealing to me. Plus she did have to LOOK UP to me.
She was so different from my large Amazon beauty. Don't get me wrong Susan is a
gorgeous, sexy, voluptuous woman.

But she is almost 6ft tall compared to my 5ft 9in (and she likes to wear heels).
I am in good shape but so is she. All I'm saying is on some level, as much as I
love her I know she doesn't really need my protection very often. A part of me
always wondered if I could save her when it counted. Before Susan I had always
dated dainty little, fragile pixie women. If you were over 5ft 4 inches 95 lbs,
you did not stand a chance. Then I met my Susan, fell in love and that changed
forever.

Until Beth. She was a problem, she was my type.

She laid a hand on my shoulder and kissed me softly, demurely. "You are so
brave, so strong. I wish I had a man like you. I have always wanted a man to
love me and treat me right. Don't worry, this is going to be easy, it is going
to be so good. I want you to make love to me. As a man. No more of this sissy
shit. Go into the bathroom wash this makeup off and put your own clothes on. You
can wash up. Then come out here teach me how to make love to a real man.

I have to be honest, it was kind of a relief.

I mean after getting raped, being forced to suck cock, to kiss another man, well
the idea of making love to an attractive woman was appealing.

To get out of the makeup, to become a MAN again, to prove I was not a sissy, a
faggot... Well let's just say I jumped at the chance. I ran into the bathroom
and closed the door. I could hear them laughing at me, but I did not care. I
took a washcloth and scrubbed my face as hard as I could. Then I took my wife's
bra and panties off and hopped in the shower for a quick cleanup. I came out,
dried off, put my jeans and shirt on, and opened the door. I could not believe
what I saw.

My naked wife was gagged and bound. She was on all fours, and the leader was
rubbing his dick on her face, hard. Mad-dog had spread her ass open and was
licking, and sticking his tongue deep in her ass. Susan was crying and bucking
wildly, desperately trying to get away.

"That's right Bitch, I'm going to get you nice and wet, then I'm going to fuck
you, I'm gonna tear this fat ass open. Go ahead, cry, that's it, scream you
piece of shit. Oooh, you taste so good, so fucking good. You keep your ass nice
and clean, I like that. It shows you are a lady. "Mad-dog said as he slurped,
and sucked and munched on Susan's ass.

The Leader kept pressing his dick against my wife, he was not fucking her mouth,
just making her sniff him, just enjoying her frightened puffs of air on his fat
donkey dick.

"Oh shitt, oh shiiit! You are so hot, if yor husband does not get out here soon
I'm gonna have to fuck you proper. Look at that mouth, I bet you could suck the
cum right out of me. You'd like that wouldn't you? A slut like you would have to
like it. It's not our fault, you are made for sex. It's your god given right.
You are a wet, piece of sex and you need a dick inside of you. The sooner you
admit it to yourself, the happier you will be," The Leader said as he spanked
Susan's face with his prick. Finally he squirted a thick load of cream all over
her eyes and watched it drip down her face. Susan's hands were bound and she
could not wipe his spunk off. I could hear her muffled squeals of revulsion, of
utter disgust, mingled with the laughter from the others. Just then the Leader
looked up and saw I was in the room.

"Ah John, nice of you to join us. Nobody told you to take a fucking shower. If
you are stupid enough to leave your sexy, beautiful, NAKED wife alone in a room
with Rapists -- shit who am I to argue. Thanks buddy, we had fun waiting."

He was right, I had been selfish, stupid. They had promised not to fuck her if I
cooperated, nobody said anything about molesting her. Playing with her tits,
sucking her pussy, and ass -- even smacking her with a dick and cuming on her
face, were all within the rules. They allowed me a moment to go to her, to wipe
her face and kiss her through her tears. As I held her she clung to me like a
little girl, shaking, trembling, shivering. Her teeth were chattering, and I
could tell she was losing it.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I won't leave you alone again, I promise. Look at
me, look only at me. I love you Susan, I love you, I love you. Tune everything
else out. Stay with me, be strong honey. I'll protect you. They are not going to
hurt you anymore. They'll hurt me instead, don't worry I can take it," I said as
I rocked her gently and kissed her softly. Slowly she calmed down.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and slowly turned around. "John you are so good to
her, see that's what I want. I need you to make love to me, to take care of me,
treat me with respect. Don't get me wrong I love these guys, I love my life, the
freedom it gives me. But... sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a
citizen, a normal guy to take care of me. I'd probably cut his dick off in a
week from the boredom, but, what a week it would be. I don't want you forever
John, I sure as fucking shit don't love you, but for tonight, just tonight, you
are my man. As I looked at Beth it slowly dawned on me how much danger I was in.
In her own way she was worse than the Leader and Mad-dog. My wife knew I was not
gay, she knew I hated every (well ok almost every) minute. Sex with Beth would
be different. Susan would have to watch me kiss and suck, and fuck, and cum
inside another woman. There would be doubt in her mind, a part of her (and let's
face it me) would wonder if I enjoyed fucking Beth.

"I want her to lay right next to us. I want her to know that even though she is
your wife, tonight she has to share you with me. Do it John, kiss me, strip me
lick me, suck me, fuck my ass, my pussy, dominate me pound the living shit out
of me. Master, I belong to you. Your little girl needs her big daddy. Please
daddy fuck me good," she said in a breathy, humble little girl, fuck-slut voice.

It was almost like watching a movie. I saw a man who looks just like me, pull
Beth down on the bed next to my wife. He pinned her, mounted her and began to
kiss her slowly. This other man, enjoyed the taste of her mouth, the warmth of
her body, as he slowly removed her clothes. He spent a long time kissing her,
nibbling on her lips, her tongue, her neck, and finally her small, plump
breasts. Beth was just a little more than a mouthful, he sucked her greeedily,
feverishly. My wife looked at them in disgust, in shock, and finally in anger,
as if she had been betrayed by the actions of this other man. I looked down and
noticed that Beth was completely naked and that her pussy was being sucked. She
was screaming my name for some reason, as she came for the first time. Her pussy
was so wet, it glistened and dripped, and looked ready to be fucked. A dick was
about to enter her fuzzy little hole.

"John you son of a bitch, you are enjoying yourself aren't you? How can you do
this? How can you fuck that little slut. You have to be enjoying it to get hard,
to suck her, and lick her. Well go ahead, fuck her, see if I care!" Susan
screamed as she turned her head away from us. Her words brought me back to
reality and I could feel the heat of Beth's crotch. My cock was resting against
her wet entrance. I realized what I was about to do and stopped.

"Uh uh lover, you ain't stopping now, fuck me, fuck me like you mean it, like
you own me. Tell me that you love me," she said as she thrust her hips forward
impaling herself on my dick.

Once I was in there was no turning back. Instinct and the nights humiliation
took over. A part of me wanted to fuck this woman. I did not love her, shit I
did not even like her but... well the bottom line was I had to do what she said.
Just like the men, if I failed to deliver, Susan would pay the price.

"Alright, ugh, how does that, uh feel. Do you like it, when I fuck your slick,
little cunt. I love you Beth, I have always wanted a woman like you. You are soo
fucking tight. Mmm, give it to me, gimme that sweet little tongue, I said as I
began kissing her hard and hungry while fucking her. I kept playing with her
clit as I banged her. Every once in a while I bent down to nibble her nipple.
She was gasping and moaning in pleasure as a series of small orgasms ripped
through her. I felt her pussy tighten on my cock. Tighten and release. I heard
her fluids sloshing and squelching in delight. A strong pussy breeze was wafting
up to greet me, as she clutched me tight against her. Finally a major blast hit
her and she released me and fell back. I had not cum, but I dropped down and
began to eat her snatch, to suck it dry. As I licked and lapped her, she seemed
to enjoy it for a while, but after a few fevered minutes said "stop, that's
enough, it's too much".

And that was #3.

Susan would not look at me at first. She felt like she had been betrayed, like I
had cheated on her. Over time I came to understand that she was making a
distinction between willing sex and forced fucking. The sex I had with the guys
was clearly forced as was the molestation and potential rape she had endured.
But my actions with Beth were at least partially willing, I enjoyed it a little
too much in her opinion.

Frankly I don't know what the fuck she wanted me to do. It was a simple If/Then
equation. Bottom line: IF I don't enjoy it a little I would not get hard. IF I
did not get hard I would not have pleased my rapist. IF that happened, THEN
Susan would be the one getting raped for a week. Her way she gets raped, my way
we go home. IF I can beat this final rapist scum.

As I sized him up Skull-crusher's name did not seem to fit him. He looked, kind
of like my dad's accountant. I mean if you put him in a suit and tie he could be
a nerdy little geeker. He came over to me and shook hands.

"John, Susan I want to congratulate you on your decorum in what must have been a
very unpleasant situation. We are almost through. I'd like you to both get
dressed. Let me assure you, none of us will lay a hand upon you the rest of the
evening. I am not interested in having sex with either of you."

It sounded incredible. It sounded unbelievable. It sounded too good to be true.

And it was. Lord, God it was.

Susan and I got dressed quickly. I hugged her briefly and after a few seconds
she returned it. She was still pissed about me fucking Beth (shit I did not even
cum!) but I could tell we would be ok. When we were dressed and settled
Skull-crusher began to speak.

"As you know my friends and I enjoy the occasional rape. They fuck, and suck,
orally, anally, vaginally. -- it does not matter. I am a little different. I
enjoy fucking mentally, vicariously if you will. It's more than just voyeurism.
I don't just watch, I direct. I analyze our guests' personalities, their flaws
and weaknesses and suggest a rape/torture strategy that will have maximum
effectiveness. Physically I am not very impressive, weak even. But I crush
MINDS. I destroy psyches. It gives me sexual pleasure to do so. I am about to
destroy you and your wife. John you have spent this entire evening trying to
save your wife, at great personal expense. Everyone in this room wants to see
her spread open and fucked, no that's not quite right. We want to see her spread
open and raped, HARD!" he chuckled in a calm demented tone.

"B,bbut you promised. You promised if I cooperated, if I let you rape me, if I
made you all cum, then you would not touch her. Please let me suck you, I can
make you cum too. It is not fair, I love her. Please let us go, just let us go."

"Shh John, calm down. Hush. I already told you, we are not going to rape your
wife. YOU are. You are going to rip her clothes off, fuck her cunt, her ass, her
mouth -- beat her if you have to, if you want to. I want her crying, screaming,
humiliated and desperate to get away from you. If you are soft with her, I will
know. I will not be aroused, and you will fail. John believe me, you don't want
to fail. When you are through I want your wife to hate you. She will know why
you raped her. She'll try to rationalize it. But deep down her body will always
recoil from your touch. She will shiver, and bristle whenever you get too close.
Susan will never feel safe in your arms again, she will never quite be able to
trust you. She will hate you yes, but she will fear you. Behind her eyes,
beneath her surface smile will be pain, pain caused by you. Remember this day,
remember my words. Today is the death of love for you both."

I listened in horrid fascination. What kind of creature would do this? He got
pleasure from hurting us. Well I did not plan to fail. I really believe our love
was stronger than their hate. I held the woman I loved in my arms and said,
"Susan baby we can do this. You know I love you, that I would never hurt you if
we had a choice. But... we don't. It's either this or you get raped by all of
them for a week. We have to." I said as I held her close.

Susan wasn't so sure.

"John I don't know about this, I sure don't want to be raped by a biker gang
but... at least when it was over, I would have you, I would be able to fall
apart, and lean on you while I healed. If I survived I could still love and
trust you. But John what if he is right, what if we do this and I end up afraid
of you, hating you. The we lose everything, I don't think we can risk it. I
think I have to go with them. Oh god I am so scared but I love you, I'll make
it. We'll get over this one day, I love you forever" She said through tears, as
she clung to me and cried her heart out.

Skull-crusher was not content with her solution.

"John my deal is with you. She does not get to decide, YOU do. Do you really
want to let a gang of rapists, murderers, and abusers of women Rape your wife
for a week?! Do you trust them to keep their word? If you do you are the
stupidest mother fucker I have ever met. I promise you if you let her do this
she is lost to you forever. But... it's your call. What's it gonna be?"

I looked at Susan, and well, I'm sorry but she was wrong. I could not risk it.

"I'll do it, I'll rape her."

The words hung in the room and everything got quiet. Susan was looking at me in
shocked disbelief. She was shaking her head no. She began backing away from me,
and had a terrified look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry baby, but I have to do this, and I can't be gentle. Please god
forgive me."

I cornered my wife and told her to be still. She did not move as I slowly
removed her shirt. I pinned her against the corner and began kissing her hard.
It was kind of weird. I love this woman, my body is trained to be gentle, to be
tender with her. I usually consider her needs, ask her what she wants, make sure
she ready.

"No wait, stop, don't John! I said stop it!" she said as she began to struggle.

Susan is a very strong woman she works out, and has longer arms (and nails) than
I do. I really was not sure if I could man-handle her. So... I did what I had to
do. I smacked her hard across the face, and followed up with a knee to her
stomach. While she was gasping for air I wrapped my hands around her throat and
choked her just enough to take the fight out of her. As she lay on the bed
gasping, dizzy, choking uncontrollably, I finished removing our clothes and
mounted her.

"It's time slut, it's time you were fucked properly. You've been teasing these
people all day, and they deserve to see you raped. Feel free to scream, beg all
you want slut. That's all you are good for. Take my cock, drink my cum, and
enjoy it."

I tried to distance myself from what I was doing, what I was saying. Every XXX
movie, every sleazy porn mag I had ever read came back to me that night. Every
once in a while I'd give her a medium slap just to remind her that it could be
much worse if she resisted. My dick was in her now and I felt myself get nice
and hard. I kept sucking her fat tits hard as I rammed deeper and deeper in her
cunt. I had never fucked Susan dry before. It made her feel so much tighter. I
could tell that I was hurting her but, well I had to. Her hands were pressed
against my chest.

She wasn't really resisting (besides crying and saying no)... but I could tell
she hated what I was doing. After my interrupted session with Beth I was already
close to cumming.

"So tight, so fucking sweet. I'm gonna fuck you all night, this ain't over yet,
you're making me cummmm!" I said as I exploded deep inside my wife's unprotected
pussy. I had never done that before. Susan and I had decided before we got
married that we would wait until we were settled in our careers before having
kids. Frankly I liked our life and was not sure I wanted the changes a child
would bring. At least, not quite yet. I used a condom when having sex, cuz she
did not like how the pill made her feel.

"How could you do that to me? I thought you loved me, you BASTARD! You just
raped me! You are no better than they are!" she said as she broke down in tears.

I felt like a piece of shit. I had hurt the only woman I had ever loved, the
only woman that I WOULD ever love.

And I wasn't done yet.

"I don't have a choice Susan, I know what is best for you. I have to do this to
save you. I have to rape your ass. But I'm kind of worn out right now so I need
your help. Get down here and suck me back to life," I demanded as I grabbed my
wife's hair and guided her to my flaccid cock.

"Oh shit he's gonna make her swallow his slim jim. Look at that mouth, crammed
full and bursting with cock. He's doin it, he's really raping his wife!"
Skull-crusher said in glee. His hand was wrapped around his cock as he jerked
off to me fucking Susan's mouth.

I could see Susan's embarrassment, her complete humiliation. It was not just
about what I was doing to her, but who I was doing it in front of. As I looked
down at her face I saw her quivering chin, and tears dripping from her eyes
while she sucked me. I decided to take it to the next level.

"This one is for you boss," I said as I took my dick out and began spanking my
wife's face with it... I pressed my cock against her nose, eyes, cheek and
rubbed it in her hair. Precum was leaking out of me and smearing her face with a
slick little trail. The leader came over and we high fived, and all of us
laughed at Susan.

Skull-crusher was getting close to his orgasm. If I could just push him over the
edge we could all go home.

I knew just what I had to do.

"Susan it's time. I need you to get up on all fours, and hold your ass open for
me. Suck my cock and get lots of spit and saliva on it... that's it a little
more, ok."

Susan made one last attempt to avoid the anal rape.

"John please, think about what you are doing. I, I understand the rest. You have
hurt me but I still love you and I will try to forgive you. But John, if you do
this... I don't know. This is so debased, so utterly degrading. It is a filthy,
nasty, cruel act. For the rest of my life I will remember the asshole who forced
me to endure this, and I will hate him. Even if it's you, even if it is the man
that I love.

I heard her, I understood what she was saying. I recognized what I was giving
up. But what Susan did not understand was this was no longer about love, or
pain, pleasure or cruelty. No it was much simpler than that. It was about
survival. I believed her when she said she would hate me if I raped her ass. But
I believed Skull-crusher when he said she would be destroyed if she became their
bitch-meat for a week. My way she lived. Her way she died.

Or worse.

I could not explain it to her then. I was so close to tears, to a complete
breakdown, a total shutdown that I could not spare the effort it would take.

"Shut the fuck up bitch. I'm going to enjoy this sweet, juicy ass of yours. Now
hold it open, good, good. Wait for it, here it comes... ARRGH!! Holy shit you
are fucking tight! Do you like it Susan, are those tears of Joy? I bet they
are." I laughed as I slowly sank my dick into Susan' virgin ass.

Susan was in a lot of pain. She tried to crawl away from me several times and I
had to smack her hard a few times to keep her in line. Finally something seemed
to break inside of her and she gave in. I could hear her soft whimpers and
child-like mewls. It was painful to watch. I kept hurting my wife for several
minutes. The part of me that was not quite insane was in shock and revulsion
over what I was doing. I was hard, yes. My dick felt good but... I felt so
guilty, so unhappy I could not quite cum.

Luckily Skull Crusher could.

"Rape her, rip her, crush her, fuck, fuck FUCK!" he roared as I slowly pounded
her ass... , and he started to spurt.

Then something unexpected happened. Skull-crusher began to cough, and wheeze,
and gasp for air. I recognized the symptoms. He was having a severe Asthma
attack. I flashed back to similar experiences with my younger brother.

"Quick get his fast acting inhaler. Check his belongings. Skull-crusher slow
your breathing, calm down. That's it, in/out."

After a few minutes we found his inhaler and slowly his breathing returned to
normal. One thing was sure, He. Was. Done.

And that was #4.

The room got very quiet as it dawned on everyone that we had won. Frankly I
don't think they ever gave serious consideration to the thought that we would
defeat them. But I got to hand it to them they took it pretty well.

"John you are one hell of a man. I could never do what you did. I don't care how
much I love a chick, no way I take a dick for her. You got guts little fella. Go
on, get dressed, take your wife home. It goes without saying but if you call the
police you are dead. If none of us get you someone in our gang will. This was
probably the worst 90 minutes of your life. Move on, get over it. Peace little
brother."

My wife and I walked out of hell together silent, but side by side. She refused
to talk to me as we walked the mile back to our car. She went to the trunk,
opened a bag and pulled out her cell phone. She had been saving it for an
emergency. Apparently our car breaking down was not bad enough to bring a cell
phone into our vacation. Susan had forbidden me from bringing my phone on our
belated honeymoon. I was very close to being a workaholic, and she did not want
to tempt me. If only... I felt a righteous anger bubble up inside of me and then
fade away as I saw her face. She did not say a word but broke into tears shame
and frustration, as she clearly felt this was all her fault.

I tried to comfort her.

"It's ok baby. Susan it's ok, everything will be ok, I promise. Let it out,
we'll put this behind us. It never happened, it's just a bad dream," I said as I
put my arms around her.

It's hard to explain. She let me hold her, she did not scream, or run away.
But... she did not nestle against me either. Usually when we hold each other we
kind of shift, and blend and merge. When Susan was in pain she always came to me
for comfort, for reassurance. As I felt the woman I love stiffen in my arms and
endure my embrace, I knew we were in trouble.

EPILOGUE

It's been 8 months. We tried to put our life back together, to rebuild "US". We
really did try.

It was just too hard. I felt so guilty, so angry at them and at her, so ashamed
of what I had done, sometimes I could not stand to look at her. I guess she must
have felt the same way.

We spent more and more time apart. About 3 months after our rapes, I suggested
we try making love. Susan half-heartedly agreed. It was a disaster. Every inch
of her screamed she did not want to look at me, much less touch me. I was unable
to achieve an erection. After a few passionless kisses and pitiful gropes we
gave up. That was the beginning of the end for me. I took a Leave of Absence
from work, and grew more despondent each day. Seven months after our rapes I
decided I had enough of looking into her accusing eyes. I never wanted to see
her in pain again. Seeing hatred and pain where I expected to see love and
comfort finally broke me. Somehow I got it into my head that I had destroyed my
wife, that I had for all intents and purposes ended her life. Fair is fair. An
eye for an eye, a life for a life. About a month ago I started seeing a
psychiatrist. I had great difficulty talking to him so he suggested I write it
out, like a story. So I did.

This is it.

Susan my love after you read this please deliver to Dr. Sloptvik. I am so tired,
I give up. I am truly sorry that was unable to protect you better. I wish you no
ill will and hope you find happiness without me. You certainly deserve it.

Goodbye,

Johnathan Pressman.
 

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The End

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Author's Note
Hmm, that was a little different now wasn't it? Or was it? I really believe rape
is about power, and domination and yes hot nasty sex. To hear some people tell
it sex has nothing to do with it. Bull Shit. It sounds silly to have to say it,
but sex is very much a part of rape. Is it the only part, no. But it is a big
part. Um, if a guy is dating a woman, and his dick gets hard, and he decides to
not take no for an answer, and strips her and puts his dick inside of her and
ejaculates -- see that is at least partially about sex. Yes I know all about the
90 year old grandmas and fat deformed cripples who get raped, but guys I promise
that is not the norm. There are a hell of a lot more reasonably attractive
college girls getting raped, than there are grannys. In most cases the violence
level used is the amount necessary to get cooperation. (The FBI has an excellent
study on several serial Rapists, let me know if you'd like a copy.)

My point is a rape is a rape is a rape. It does not matter if it is mommy,
daddy, or a stranger. It does not matter if it is a woman, a fat cripple, a
child or even(gasp) a man. Rape is one of the most under reported crimes. A high
percentage of male rapes occur in prison, and are never reported much less
prosecuted. Who knows how many there are. I would think most straight guys would
be even more reluctant than most women to admit that they were raped. I wanted
to see if I could write about a subject that would make me a little
uncomfortable.

It worked.

Well how much does your husband (boyfriend) love you? I suspect there are some
guys who would take a bullet, but would not take a dick for the woman they
loved. As twisted as this story is, it is still a love story, a romantic tale of
self sacrifice.

It's really not about liking the story or the people described. Good lord knows
it's not about liking me. The simple truth is this guy ain't me. You really
can't learn very much about me from reading one of Jaz' stories. I know there
are a lot (a whole fucking lot) of closet psych majors, religious Nazis and the
truly gullible who believe they can read clues, can access some deeper meaning
in what I write. Good luck to them. To me it's just a fucking story that I made
up but hey, what do I know?

There, now I can rest easy.