The late spring of 2002 was a weird time for me. I lost my virginity,
finally. I was 18, going away to college, and have never had a serious
girlfriend. Shit I did not even have a date for the prom. Go ahead, say
it with me, "Loo-ZER!" I am not a nerd ("No really I'm not! Stop
laughing at me you assholes, I'm NOT!!").

Yes I get good grades and like D&D, sci fi, and the occasional comic
book. I'm not good at sports, and have a minor Spazzy-Klutz problem. I
guess I should describe myself. I'm 5ft 9 in tall, wear glasses and have
curly black hair. I'm average looking, but guess I lack confidence. The
virgin thing was ok at 14, 15 even. I mean every one was a virgn at that
age, except the sluts and the jocks. But when I turned 16, normal kids
started having sex. By 17 almost every one had done it in my school
except the mentally impaired, the physically challenged (aka, ugly
mother fuckers) and the nerds. Nerd girls don't put out. EVER. I've come
to realize High School, maybe life in general is about labels. It's
about how others view you, and how that caused you to define yourself.
At 17, most people saw me as a "LOSER, VIRGIN, SPAZ, NERD". So basically
I was fucked, royally screwed...um, or rather not.

  My parents were busy, distant, emotionally unattached. Oh they loved
me I suppose, but it was at arms length. I think we all preferred it
that way. Then there was my little sister, Susan.

 I should have hated her, I mean she had everything I wanted. She was
popular, pretty, smart. Everyone loved her, she just lit up a room, was
always the center of attention, but it never went to her head. At 15 she
was still a virgin, but it was by choice. Guys called the house all the
time and she dated a lot. Yup, she had it all.

 Here is the thing. She loved me, she idolized me. My sister thought I
was the smartest, the funniest, most handsome man when she was younger.
She toned it down as she grew older but it was still clear that she did
not see me the way the rest of the world did. It meant a lot having one
person in my life who loved me. Totally, completely, fiercely. I'd have
to be a total shit to piss that away wouldn't I?  I mean who would be
stupid enough to risk losing the only perso who cared for them, their
only sister?!

Say it with me, "Loo-ZER!"

It was my 18th Birthday. My buddy Ron had gotten 3 six packs of beer,
and a couple of porno tapes. No cake, no candles--but it would do just
fine.

Um did I mention that I like porn?  A lot, a whole fucking lot. Pics,
movies, Web Sites, I need it. I like to watch it when I can, Yes I like
it Sam I am.

The first tape was pretty hot. Plot-free, just the way god intended. The
premise was simple. 3 hot sexy chicks were about to be gang banged by 15
(5 each) guys. Each one would cum inside her pussy. None of this pull
out and spay her tits crap. Then she would immediately get powerfucked
by the next guy. By the end each girl was a well fucked slut, with a
sloppy cunt that dripped and oozed cum.

Very cool.

 We had downed our first six pack and had a good buzz going, when Ron
got a call on his cell phone.

"Dude, I'm sorry, my dad just got home and he's pitchin a fit. I gotta
bolt. Hey I'll swing by tomorrow and we can finish watching your tapes.
Happy B-day. See Ya."

Ron was nice enough to leave the beer. One good thing about him leaving
was that now I could masturbate. I mean it just isin't cool to pull on
your pud in front of your bud. Just felt kinda gay to me. But this was
pretty good now. I was in my boxers jerkin off, drinking beer, and
watching a hot slut get fucked over and over. It was cool seeing her
lose cotrol, the expression on her face when she stopped acting, and
came for real. The sneers on the guys as they started getting into it.
Some of them got a little rough, just grabbed her, spread her open and
slammed her hard. One guy was just bouncing her on the bed, as he fucked
her. Her tits were flapping wildly, as he slammed into her hard. "Damn
it's almost like he's raping her, shit she just has to take it," I said
as I felt a major climax build.

"John ... can I come in?"

Oh shit, my sister wanted to come in, NOW?! I quickly turned off the tv,
pulled up my underwear and got under the covers. "Ok sure come in."
Susan looked amazing. Today had been pretty warm and she was wearing cut
off shorts and a tank top that barely contained her 34 c tits and
exposed her sexy little tummy.

 "I wanted to wish you a happy Birthday. Wow you're a man now, 18!
What's it like, do you feel different? Hey!! You have beer! Gimme one,
can I try one please?" she said as she sat at the foot of my bed. A
couple of things happened all at once. First having my hot sexy sister
in my bed while I was horny was a bad idea. Worse still she sat on my
remote, and turned the TV on. The sights and sounds of hardcore porno
love filled my room.

{"Uh, uh, uh, uh, fuuuhckk Me, Fuck my tight little pussy. Cun inside
me, I need it, I need that fat cock shoved inside of me now!"} My poor
innocent virgin sister just stared at the TV.

"John, what are you watching? Oh my god this is a dirty movie. Why are
you watching this?"

I decided to try to be casual about it.

"You've never seen one Susie? They can be a lot of fun. Sometimes when
guys get horny, it helps to relieve the pressure. All guys watch them,
some girls do too. Here's your beer. I think you're old enough to decide
for yourself. If you think you can handle it you can stay."

Susan was curious, and did not want to appear childish to her big
bother. Plus here was a chance for her to drink beer. She gulped and
coughed the first one down quickly. She was a natural! I handed her two
from the cooler, and she laid down across the foot of my bed. Watching
porn and getting drunk. She kept asking me questions. Naive, harmless,
but in my state they just made me hornier. "Ew gross, she's swallowing
his penis. I'm never letting a guy put his thing in my mouth. John do
most women do that? His penis is so big. Is that normal? Have you ever
seen one that big. It must be 6 or 7 inches long! God that must hurt,
the way he's slamming into her over and over! What's that squishing
noise?" she asked in a slightly drunk voice as she finished off her 3rd
beer.

 I was so fucking horny by then I did not know what to do. The funny
thing was I barely paid attention to the screen. I was looking at
Susan's tight ass, and juicy tits. I wanted her. I wanted to fuck my
little sister. I wanted to cum inside her. Suddenly I knew how I could
do it. I jumped out of bed, took a beer with me and said, "I'll be right
back."

 I ran down the hall to my parent's bathroom. About six months ago my
mom was having trouble sleeping and the doctor wrote her a very strong
Rx. My mom tried it at full strength, but later complained it was too
powerful. She slept through the night, and could not wake up until 11
am. She complained that she could not remember anything after taking the
pill. In fact my dad had tried to wake her when he left for work, but
gave up after shaking her several times.

Mom talked to the Dr. and he suggested she take half doses, and never
with alcohol. Mom still uses them but only when she really has to. Even
at half strength they are very powerful.

Susan was about 30lbs lighter than my mom, and with all the beer she had
taken, I did not want to chance giving her a full pill. I took two from
the bottle (in case I wanted to try this again) and put half of one in a
beer. It fizzed up at first but then went back to normal. I did not say
a word as I came back in the room and gave her the 4th and final beer. I
noticed she had been playing with her breasts (through her shirt) when I
came in the room. I decided to see just how horny and curious she was.

 "Suse you asked me a question before. Six inches is a pretty good size
for a guy, but it's not that big. Mine is bigger. I don't mind letting
you see but you can't tell anyone. In fact everything we've done tonight
has to be a secret. Can I trust you?" Susan was pretty drunk now, but
she understood that this was private. Still I don't think she was
thinking about my offer to show her my penis when she said,  "Ok John,
it's our secret."

She was still watching the tv when I dropped my boxers and walked in
front of her half hard.

"Oooh John, oh my god yer naked. So that's what it's supposed to look
like, but um, John yer not as big as they are. I mean it's about 5
inches, right?"

I could not help chuckling inside a little.  "Susan it starts out this
size but then it grows when I become excited. Here let me show you. No
fair me being naked while you have all your clothes on, " I said as I
reached down and pulled her top off. I quickly unsnapped her bra and let
her firm breasts free.

 I could not help it, I had to feel them. I began playfully tugging on
her nipples, rubbing the, rolling them in my fingers. Her tits were
firm, heavy in my hands.  Susan seemed surprised, but also more than a
little aroused. Her reactions were slow due to the beer and drugs.

 "John, whhutt? No wait?!!" she mumbled.

 "Shhh, don't worry, now hold this and watch it grow. Stroke it a
little, squeeze him tight. That's it you're doing a good job." She was
fascinated by how big and very thick my dick was getting. Soon I was at
my full 7.5 inches.

"Ish sho big! "she mumbled as the drugs began to take full affect.

"Mmmkeep rubbing me baby, it feels really good. Will you do me a favor?
Will you just suck it a little bit? Nobody has ever done that for me.
It'll be our secret. I love you so much. Please baby, after all it is my
birthday. "

 Susan looked up at me through a haze of "beery" lust for a several
seconds. Slowly she put her face in my lap and she kissed the head of my
swollen cock a few times. Her small pink tongue darted out and shyly
licked me. Finally she opened her mouth and began to suck me off. My
little sister slurped, and sucked and licked on my cock for a good 30
seconds before she passed out.

  I guess that's why things got out of hand. I mean this was the second
time I had been close to an orgasm, and been interrupted in less than an
hour. You can't do that to a horny, 18 yr old virgin male. Susan started
this. I want that made very clear. Let's review. She willingly got in my
bed and watched porn with me. Nobody forced her to get drunk. She
allowed me to strip her top, and fondle her tits. She enjoyed playing
with her brother's cock. She put me in her mouth and sucked me like the
beautiful young slut she is.

Whatever happened later, she startd our love making. She is old enough
to know what would happen. I mean shit, she's only 15 ( almost 16), I
know, I get that. But if she committed a crime, say murder, she would be
tried as an adult right? So how could anyone hold her responsible for
her actions if it led to murder but not if it led to sex? I'm not saying
it is all her fault. We both made decisions that night. I am responsible
too.

 When she passed out I could not help myself. I knew it. This was it. I
was finally getting laid. I did not know where to start. If you've never
been in this situation you won't understand it, and really can't judge
it. I had a beautiful half naked, 15 yr old virgin unconcious on my bed.
I checked the clock on my wall. It was only 4:20 pm. Mom was out of town
and dad did not get home until after 7pm, sometimes later. We celebrated
my birthday last weekend.

I had almost 3 hours to do anything I wanted to Susan. ANYTHING, shit
EVERYTHING I ever dreamed of doing with a woman, I could do. I decided
to make my own porno movie.

I would be able to watch myself fucking Susan over and over again. How
many guys in the world have video of them fucking a 15 yr old
virgin--who was their only sister? I got my viewcam out of the closet
and set it up. I had about 2 hours charge in the battery, and I plugged
in the spare for later.

I felt myself getting excited as I slowly pulled Susan's shorts and
underwear off. She looked so fucking hot, so peaceful. It was like she
was giving me permission.  I had to touch her. I spread my baby sister
open, naked, and helpless on my bed and began kissing her wet little
mouth. It was fun but her teeth were in the way so I moved down to her
neck and sucked her hard for a few minutes. I wanted to cover her body
in hickeys. Her warm nipples clearly needed to be sucked. I spent
several minutes there. Cupping, rolling, massaging and kneading her,
while licking, sucking and flicking her nipples. First one soft tit,
then the other, then both. I did not hurt her, but I marked her.

I marked her real good.

I could smell Susan's juices now. She was getting wet, getting ready for
my cock. I wanted to prolong this, to enjoy her body for as long as I
could. I also needed some before and after rape pics. I took a few
polaroids of her in compromising positons to go along with the video.
Sometimes it would not be convenient to only have a videotape, to need a
TV/VCR to enjoy my sister's love scene with me. I needed a portable
version too. I wanted the still pics to tell a story just like our porn
movie would. In one I have her holding a picture of me, lying naked in
my bed, with her fingers in her visibly wet pussy. I wrote several large
signs for her to hold. "I love you Jaz," (her nickname for me), and
another,"Fuck my cherry John, I belong to you."

It took time, to pose her just right but they looked like she was awake
and enjoying a sex fantasy about the big brother everyone knew she
idolized and adored.  At the time I really did not plan to do anything
with them, they were just for me. I mean who knew when I would be able
to fuck her (or anyone else) again. I just wanted to remember today.
After all, it was my Birthday.

My cock was pounding hard now, pulsating and throbbing in anticipation.
I turned the video camera on and began setting the scene.
"Susan do you think this is a good idea? Do you really want your big
brother to rape you? Maybe I should stop. What's that, you NEED me to
fuck you. You ORDER me to rape your virgin pussy? Sigh...ok if you
insist baby. If you are such a slut that you can't help it--since you
are begging me for my dick, I guess I'll help you out. Hmm you look
really tight sis, and I'm pretty big you want me to suck you off first?
Huh, you want me to make you good and slippery? Ok, give me your cunt,
and I'll eat you little baby."

The camera was filming as I kissed and sucked my way down my sister's
body until my mouth was at her nearly bald, virgin, vagina. I peeled her
open and began to sniff her. Her scent was intoxicating. I saw her clit
hood and began to lick all around it, pressing her button with my
tongue. If she had been awake it would probably have been too intense
and she would have asked me to stop, slow down.

She wasn't awake.

 I sucked and nibbled on her clit for over 5 minutes. Her pussy was
contracting hard.  I decided to try something I had read about.
Clit/G-Spot dual stimulation. While I sucked her clit hard, I put two
fingers inside her pussy about 3 inches in I could feel her hymen. Along
the top wall there was a rough, spongy bundle. Perfect, I'd found it. I
gently rubbed her spot while sucking her clit. It did not take very
long. soon she was leaking and dripping, weeping fluids. A trickle
became a stream, became a flood. She was soaking my bed, and it was on
tape forever.

"Did you like that baby? Such a good cum! I'll always make it good for
you Susie. Now it's my turn. I'm going to rape your virginity now. Fair
is fair. I need it. We'll be giving ourselves to each other. After all
you're taking my virginity too. We will be each other's first lovers. No
one can ever take that away from us baby. I love you, I love you so much
sis. I just can't help it. You got me so worked up, I have to have you.
Now," I said as I got between her legs and lined my cock up at her
virgin pussy."

She was very tight, but also very wet. With a little pressure I began to
slip my fat cock into my sister. Soon I was at her hymen. I pressed
myself against it softly. She gave this breathy little grunt and her
face frowned a little. I pressed into her again a little harder and her
breathing picked up. I was afraid she would wake up if I fucked into her
too hard, but decided to go for it anyway. I pulled out a little and
then rammed myself into her hard. I felt my cock break through her
barrier, and immediately her blood slickened my dick, making it easier
to get in. One more thrust and I was "balls deep".

 She let out a harsh gasp and her body recoiled, shook and shuddered as
her tight pussy tried to expel me. I rested for a few seconds and
allowed her to get used to her brother being inside of her. When she
calmed down a little I began a slow rocking motion.
 " Shallow thrust, hold, hold, retreat, repeat". When that did not wake
her up, or agitate her I went deeper, harder, faster.

 "Ugh, do you like that Sis, do you like it?! So tight little baby, so
perfect. (Slam. thrust, slamm), ugh. Fuck you, oh shit, FUCK ME. You
beautiful little slut, I love you. Oh god, oh god not this soon?! Yer
making me cum already?!" I said as I came deep, down inside my loving
sister.

I stayed inside her for over a minute as her greedy pussy milked me.
Then I had a nasty thought. I pulled out of her with a wet little
"plop". I reached inside her cunt and pulled out a pink creamy mixture
of our juices and her virgin blood. Lovingly I spread it all over her
mouth, feeding it to her one finger at a time. I spread it all over her
lips, and teeth. then I put just a pinch between her cheek and gums.
Slowly she swallowed it down.

 When her pussy was mostly clean, I began to suck her again. I left her
clit alone this time and only used my tongue inside her. My hands
massged her tits and nips. Her pussy was soon contracting again, I could
feel it squeezing my tongue, but almost no juice came. It was the sexual
equivalent of dry heaves.

 Susan was all fucked out.

It felt good to know I had satisfied my woman. I wanted to do it again.
I wanted to do it on a regular basis. I wanted her to be awake. Most of
all I wanted her to know what I had done, to surrender herself to me. I
enjoyed Susan for the rest of the afternoon. I shot hours of video and
had over 30 pics. Every 45 minutes or so I was able to fuck her until my
dad came home. Around 7pm I dragged her to her room, and cleaned her up.
I put her panties back on and a night shirt. When dad came in at 7:30 I
was in the kitchen.

"Hey John, happy Birthday son. This is a special day for you. You're an
adult now. How does it feel?" He said with a smile as he gave me a firm
handshake.

"Thanks dad, you know it DOES feel different. I do feel special, I dunno
like for the first time I really am a man. " I said with a smile.

 "I'm beat, I'm going to call your mom, nuke some food and watch a
little tv before going to bed. Where is your sister?"

"Finals are coming up we both have to study. She is over at Beth's
house, she said she would probably get in late. I'm just grabbing a
snack before I go back to hit the books hard myself. You probably won't
see either one of us for the rest of the night. "

 "Ok son, get back to it. Make your old man proud. If you need any help
come get me."

"Thanks dad, I really like this subject. I want to DO IT on my own. Hmm,
but if I get stuck or can't figure something out I'll give you a call, "
I said chuckling under my breath.

 I gave him an hour or so to settle in before I went to Susan's room to
rape her some more. She was still out cold. From 8:30 until 2 am I
fucked my sister 3 more times. I was getting pretty good at it. I
learned how to control myself and lasted a good 15 minutes each time. I
now had shots of me cumming on her face, closeups of my creamy clumps
dripping down her nose, and over her eyelids. I really enjoyed fucking
her warm, firm tits. I squeezed them around my cock and came all over
her tits, chin, and face.

 I could not get enough of my sister. After I rested a bit, I flipped
her over (turned her head to the side so she could breathe). I took a
few mock anal shots. I laid my cock between her buns and squeezed them
tight around me. I thought about trying to fuck her but it was just too
tight. I was afraid I wold hurt her. I would never hurt my sister on
purpose. So I just played with her ass for a while. Rolling and
squeezing, kneading and pulling, tenderly molesting her. It felt so
tight and warm in Susan's ass, her butt cheeks wrapped around my cock I
could not help cumming inside it, but I did not enter her anus.

 It had been an amazing day and I was tired. I guess I'm kind of a
romantic. I went in my room, got my cell phone and then locked my door
from the outside. I went back to my sister's room, went inside and
locked her door (in case my dad decided to check on her). Then I got
into bed with my lover, and set my cell's alarm for 7am. I wrapped her
naked body in my arms and went to sleep.

I woke up on my own at 6:30 and Susan was still out of it. I could not
help it. I had a morning woody, and I wanted her again. This was the
best feeling in the world. Sleeping with my woman. Fucking my lover
first thing in the morning. I decided she was just moist enough and did
not give her any foreplay. It made the fuck even better for me. I really
had to work to get it in her. I took my time and gave her a gentle rape.
She had been out for over 14 hours and I knew the drugs would be wearing
off soon. She was breathing differently. Before it was like she was
unconcious. Now it was more like she was in a deep sleep. The longer I
fucked her the less deep it became. As my climax approached she actually
began thrashing around and mumbling to herself. "zzz, Mmm, no don't
wannna we can't...feelsoogood--zzz." I tried to control my thrusts as I
came inside her. I rubbed her clit and tits gnetly until I felt her
cumming too. I hugged her tightly for a few minutes before getting up to
leave.

 Then I took all her clothes off and threw her sheets and blanket on the
floor. Susan allowed me to spread and pose her body into an "X" and I
left her room, locking the door behind me.

About an hour later I heard a tapping at my door.

"John...open up. Open the door now!" she hissed. I had some time to
think about it so I'm sure my performance was near perfect.

I opened the door and let her in. Before she could say a word I grabbed
her in a tight embrace and began kissing her hard and slow and deep.
"Mmm, good morning baby. Thank you so much for last night. I will never
forget your Birthday present to me. It meant so much, it was so special
because it was you," I said before I began kissing her again, groping
her tits and grabbing her sweet ass hard.

Susan was shocked, stunned. She must have suspected but for me to
confirm it, openly,  to be happy about it...she just could not believe
her brother had fucked her.

"John...stop it. Wait...stop playing with my tits damnit, and talk to
me.  Exactly what happened here last night. What did you do to me?" she
demanded.

 I plastered a confused look on my face and said, "What are you talking
about, what do you mean? We made love, several times. You know that. You
came in here, laid on my bed, watched pornos with me, let me play with
your tits, played with my cock, sucked me off, and then we made love.
Don't tell me you don't remember! Susan you practically attacked me. You
said that this was your birthday gift to me and that you loved me. I
tried to resist at first, but you would not take no for an answer. How
can you act like you don't remember?!" I demanded in a hurt, incredulous
tone.

(And the Oscar for Male Lead in an incestuous Rape scene goes to John
"Jaz" Pressman!")

 There was just enough truth in my story to confuse my sister. Slowly it
came back to her. She DID watch Porn with me. She DID, play with my
cock. She Did remember me feeling her naked tits, she vaugley recalled
putting my fat dick in her mouth, so maybe she really had gone all the
way. It was writen on her pretty face as she chewed her bottom lip. She
should never have drunk all those beers! She could not blame me for
this, I was drunk too.

Slowly she began to cry.

"I'm so ashamed, I can't believe we did this John. You're my brother. I
gave my virginity to my own brother. Oh my god, I could be pregnant with
your baby!"

"C'mere Susie sit down on my lap. That's it. I am so sorry if I hurt
you. You now we have always been close, closer than most brothers and
sisters, right? You are the only person I love, really love. Oh mom and
dad sure, but not like you kiddo. I'm not ashamed of what we did. I
liked it, it felt good. You gave me something precious and I will never
forget it. Thank you baby. Please don't hate me for loving you. Please
don't be ashamed sweetie. Now as far as the baby...you know you are not
alone right? If it happens, it happens. But you will never be alone
Susan, Your brother loves you and will take care of you."

 She broke down then and let me hold her. A part of me really did care,
I DO love my sister. But there was another part that wanted to fuck her
right there.

"Thanks Jaz (sniffle) I  needed to hear that. I never planned for this
to happen...but, well um I guess I must have wanted it somehow. I can't
believe I made love to you, but I do feel a little better after talking
to you. I guess I'd better get ready for school. "

I let her go. I needed time to plan anyway. Time to enjoy her. What was
wrong with me? I'd almost raped my sister with my dad two rooms away.
With her awake and screaming? I could never get away with that...hmmm?

 I went through school in a fog. I decided to ditch 7th period, and I
told Ron we'd have to finish my porn party on the weekend. Then I went
home to wait for Susan. Imagine my surprise to find she was already
there.

 It seems she was not feeling well for some reason and had come home
early. I heard the shower running. I waited a good 20 mintes before I
went to the door and checked on her. I could hear her crying.

"Suse you ok in there," I called through the door.

 "Sniffle, whimper ah, ahem, yeah John I'll be right out. " About 5
minutes later she came out, I was waiting in the hall for her. I held my
arms open for a hug. She seemed reluctant at first, but slowly walked
into my arms. I held her for about 30 seconds before putting my arm
around her shoulder and leading her to my room.

"It's been a rough day for you huh kiddo? I'm sorry about that. I'm
going to try and make it better. Now do you trust me? Good. I'm going to
give you a nice massage to relax you. I can tell that you need one. "

 Uh Jaz, no thanks. I'll be fine really..."she started before I cut her
off.

"Nonsense, get on the bed, and stretch out. Do it Susan, no arguments
now, be a good girl. I'm going to do your neck first. Then I'll get the
kinks out of your back.  She really tensed up when I got on my bed next
to her, but she did have a big thick terry robe on that covered
everything up. I started on her slender neck, wrapping my hands arond
her, kneading her muscles, making them pop. Slowly I worked my way down,
pushing at her back through the robe. Susan began to relax. She tensed
up again when I straddled her body but did not complain.

 "How does that feel baby, mmm good you like that. Ok I need to take
this robe off you. It's getting in the way. Shh, calm down, don't move
Susan. I'm just going to open you up. Let go of the robe, I said let GO!
Good girl. Now isin't that better? Lay back down baby. I want you to
feel something. Fair is fair. "I said as I pulled off my shirt and
khakis, and pulled the hem of the robe up exposing her ass.

"Oh god, John what are you doing! Let me up, let me up now. "

"Shh baby I will, I promise. First I want you to feel this. Feel my warm
skin covering your body. Tell me that doesn't feel good. You feel so
good. I'm sorry baby, I have to Suse, I have to. I need you too bad, " I
said in a lust filled whisper as I forced my baby sister's legs apart
and fucked my cock into her tight vagina.

"Why? Why are you doing this. I don't care what happened when we were
drunk. I don't want to do this. Stop it!! You're hurting me, Y, y,you're
RAPING me John. No, no, no, oh god no!!" she shrieked as I fucked her
from behind.

I got my hands on her tits and cupped them. Used them to pull her back
into me hard, as I pumped my thick meat into her over and over.
Eventually she stopped crying, stopped struggling and just let me enjoy
her warm, wet body. I don't know how long I raped my sister that rainy
afternoon. I remember the smallest details though. The sounds of her
whimpering, sniffling, her labored gasps and my sweaty grunts. The
"Schluck" noise her wet pussy made as I rammed into her tight juicy hole
again and again. The stinging tingle as my balls slapped her ass in a
fierce rhythm. In the background I recall the relentless pitter patter
of water on the window and roof.

When it was over I pulled out and hugged her close. My little sister
just curled up in the fetal position and let me hold her.  Here's the
weird thing. Once I calmed down, once it was over, I really did feel
bad.

 After about 15 minutes Susan said in a small, humble voice, "May I go
to my room please." I nodded permission and she got up.

No, don't put the robe on. Leave it. I like your body. I want you naked
for me," I said and watched her tuck her head and blush as she walked
out of my room naked, exposed, humble and obedient.

The idea that I had broken her that bad, made me feel strange, sad--but
powerful. After all this was my sister, I loved her. Yes I lust after
her too. I enjoy fucking and sucking her, I truly do--but I still love
her.

I always will.

 I guess Susan was too ashamed to tell anyone what I had done. She did
not say a word to my mom when she came home, or even to my dad. Late
that night I knocked on her door.

"Susan, can come in? We need to talk."
  "I'm scared...are you going to hurt me again?"

It broke my heart that she thought I would ever hurt her.

 "Oh baby, no. Never, I just need to talk to you."

 She unlocked her door and I came in the room. I grabbed her in a tight
bear hug and held her close. She seemed surprised, afraid even and
immediately tensed up. I kept hugging her, let her feel my warmth and
concern and she slowly relaxed a little. I kissed her very softly and
guided her to the bed.

"Susan, I am so sorry for what happened earlier. There is no excuse for
what I did to you. But I need to try and explain. Baby, I love you. Not
just as a brother. As a man. You are my first, my only lover. When we
made love it was so amazing, so perfect. I thought we were starting a
relationship. I was proud that you chose me to be your first. I guess
you hurt me pretty bad when you started acting like you were ashamed of
our relationship, of US. It made me kind of crazy, temporarily insane. A
part of me just could not believe it, I figured you had to be in shock,
and if I could just snap you out of it, I'd have my lover back. That's
what I was trying to do. I know it was wrong. When a woman says NO
that's it. NO means NO. I know that. No matter what I thought you
wanted, no matter how many times I made you cum ...I should have
respected you more. I love you baby, I've loved you all your life. Can
you forgive me? I messed up bad, but I need you to forgive me. I need
you to still love me. Please don't throw your big brother away over one
misunderstanding."

She was quiet for so long. Finally she looked at me and tears welled up
in her eyes. She tucked her head and said, "I can't believe you did
that. You raped me. John you raped me, you really raped me. I fucked my
brother, and you raped your sister. We're both sick. I guess part of
this IS my fault. I never should have fucked you, I still can't believe
I did that. I always planned to give my virginity to the man  I was
going to marry, to the man I loved more than anything else. In a way I
guess I did. I have to try and forgive you John. I have loved you for so
long I have to try."

I hugged her then, held her in my arms for a good long time until we
both felt better.

 "Thanks little baby, thank you so much. I have to tell you something
though. I don't want you to get mad. Do you promise? I'm going to fuck
you again. I have a taste for you now. I enjoy your pussy, and I plan to
make love to you again. Often. I'm going to try not to rape you anymore.
I want you to willingly surrender yourself to your brother. I want you
to like it. Just give me a chance baby. I will be so good to you, I
swear to god I will. I don't want to be a rapist, that's
sick--disgusting. Please don't make me define myself that way.  Let me
be your lover. Don't answer me now, take some time and think about it. "

Susan had a stunned lok on her face as I softly kissed her goodbye. I
playfully gave her tits a goodnight tug.

I was walking to the door when I heard her say under her breath, "Never
again."

I waited until I closed the door and answered, "We'll see Sis. We'll
see".

After all it was my Birthday, I had the right to a wish, and for it to
come true. Susan was mine, and I plan to enjoy her.

A Lot.
 

 Author's Note
 

 Hmm, feels kind of weird to be writing this kinda stuff when my country
is at war. But I started it...so I finished it.

 CNN has been on at work all day, showcasing the various missiles and
smart bombs we have at our disposal. There is one, nonnuclear bomb that
is 4 times as powerful as Hiroshima. I found myself wondering aloud why
we did not use that when we tried to blow up the psycho asshole.

 "Just get close and superbomb the bastards."

 Some folks overheard me and a debate broke out.

 "B,b,b Jaz, we can't! What about the civilians, YE GODS the children
who would be killed?"

Now here is the thng. I understood what they were saying.  I can see
their side. What I had said really did not sound like ME. The things I'm
about to say, sound odd coming from my mouth. I mean I'm not above
criticizing the President, and I sure did not vote for him. I choose not
to have a flag on my car, and I don't pin it on my clothes. I'm really
not that patriotic.

But you know what? I don't think I give a rusty, crusty shit anymore.

I just don't care about Iraqui civilians. I've weighed the scales and
I'm tired of fighting with one hand behind our back. You know what I
want? I want this to be the first war where not one American life is
lost. NOT ONE!!

 No Marines, No Army, No Navy, No Airforce, No Allies. No widows crying,
no  fatherless boys, no weeping mothers.  Do not hurt any of my people.
I know that is not realistic, but it is how I feel.

I don't really care about sticking around for a decade running their
country. I'm sorry but I don't care about humanitarian aide either.
There are plenty of starving children and homeless people in NON
Terroist nations. Tell ya what, after every American is well fed,
educated, and housed; after every ally can say the same; after every
peaceful country has been helped--then talk to me about Iraq. I'll
listen then--I promise, but not now.

I have no problem taking a few million barrels of oil, gold, weapons
whatever to help pay for ths war. Freeze the bastard and his son's
money. 10% should go to the family of every soldier who dies.

The UN can kiss my proud American ass if it doesn't like it. Diplomacy
is over, PC is done. Debate has run it's course. A small dark part of me
is ready for some "Shock and AWE". I plan to put a steak on the grill,
pop open a cold one, and enjoy the fireworks.

This isn't ME, or at least it didn't used to be. I know when the change
came, I know exactly when the fucking change came. It started when the
planes hit the Towers and the Pentagon on 9/11. But I think I might have
gotten past that. It hurt, but I would have tried.

 I lost my patience with this shit when I saw the footage. C'mon, you
know what I'm talking about, dontcha?

They had crowds of Pakistanis, Iraquis, Afghans, Iranians CHEERING! They
stood in the streets and burned my flag and their men, and their women
and yes their poor, sweet, innocent children CHEERED the evil that was
done to my country, the innocent lives that were stolen. A part of me
was lost that day, a part of MY innocence. I did not even know  I had
any left. I mean shit, amnog other things I'm a hardcore Rape/Incest
writer. I'm not supposed to have "INNOCENCE". It wasn't the terrorists
that stole it from me--it was the innocent crowds. I expect terrorists,
extremists to be evil, to do evil. But women and children?! That hurt
me.

I hope I get a measure of my old innocence, my prior kindness back one
day, I really do.

 All life is precious. I still believe that. Most of the people in the
countries I mentioned above have good qualities. I know that.

 But sha-know what? FUCK them anyway.  You're asking a lot if you want
me to spend an American life to protect an Iraqui one.

 You're asking too much.

 All life is precious, but American life is more precious to me, than an
Iraqui one.  So sue me. Finally, a prayer:

"Dear god bless us and protect us. Keep our people safe. Please help us
kill our enemy, but do not cause their innocents too much pain. Please
Lord let them die in their sleep. As for the evil fuckers who hate my
country, take them into the warm glowing light at the end of the tunnel
and burn their asses with it. God bless America, Amen."

There, now I can rest easy.

 Jaz