What I did was wrong. I know that. You don't have to judge me, I take
responsibility for my actions. I am not going try to make excuses. I
simply want to explain how it happened. I want you to understand that it
was an accident. It was an honest mistake. I did not realize what my
sister was doing to me until it was too late. I've had some time to sort
through the events of the past year, and there are so many things I
would do differently if I could. To be honest though, there are some
things I would never change. Some aspects that a part of me really
enjoyed. I'd do it again.My parents split up about 4 years ago when I was 16. My little sister
was almost 15. Times were pretty tough. Mom had to work two jobs to make
ends meet. When she was home pretty much all she did was sleep. My
sister Susan and I cleaned the house, cooked the meals and took care of
ourselves. We were always close, but after the divorce we became even
closer. Susan was a sweet kid. She needed lots of affection, and my
father's virtual abandonment hurt her deeply. Combine that with my
mother's harried work schedule, and I was really the only one who paid
attention to her, who listened to her stories, praised her
accomplishments etc. I guess that's how it happened the first time.I was watching TV when she came in the room and gave a loud sigh.
"What's wrong squirt?"
"Nothing re-al-ly...it's just, well I miss dad."
"I'm sorry honey but you know he's not coming back. Look I know he's our
father but he cheated on mom, and cut us out of his life. Who needs
him?""I know, but sometimes I miss him. The way I could sit in his lap and
watch TV, and snuggle up. I felt so safe when he held me and told me
that he loved me. It just hurts that I'll never have that again."She looked so sad, so starved for attention that I wanted to help.
Maybe it was because I was sitting in my father's chair. I had a visual
of my sister sleeping in his lap, the way she had 100 times before."C'mere squirt, you can watch TV with me."
She seemed surprised at first, but then she giggled, and a smile lit
up her pretty face. Susan quickly scrambled into my lap. I let the
recliner out and soon she was pressed against the length of my body. I
was super sensitive, and remember feeling every curve, every delicious
warm, sweet smelling bit of my sister. I wrapped my arms around her as
she rested her head on my chest. She gave a contented little sigh and
her voice choked a little when she said, Thanks Jaz, I love you."I don't know how long I held her that night. It started out innocently
enough. I was just holding my little sister. I did not plan anything
sexual. It is important to me that you understand it. I would never want
my sister to think I took advantage of her that night. As we lay in that
chair, wrapped in each other's warmth she fell asleep. Somehow her warm
crotch shifted, and was covering mine. It felt so hot, I could feel it
pulse and throb. I could barely breathe. I was so nervous. I looked at
her, mouth open, sexy little drool making a wet spot on my shirt, and I
HAD to have more. It was like it was another person's hand that began
squeezing her breasts. First one then the other. I played with them for
a long time. I took my finger and spelled my name across her body. First
her tits, then on her thighs and crotch-"J--A--Z".
Finally I was too horny to stop myself. I rolled Susan on my lap. Her
face was on my chest, my dick was pressed in her groin (through our
clothes) and my hands were on that sweet assmeat. I gripped her hard and
held her tight. I lifted her in the air on my cock, thrusting, grinding
into and felt her damp, warm crotch envelop me. I did not mean to cum,
but suddenly I was squirting and jerking into my shorts as I played with
Susan's juicy butt.I know it was wrong, really I do but…well shit, she does not even
know it happened, and we did have our clothes on so it really does not
count. It was more than just masturbation, that cheapens it. When I look
back ,it had been a long time since I had felt safe, and secure. I don't
know how to say this and not sound weird but, when a woman says she
loves you, when she is pressed against you, her warm body is wrapped
around you, well it does something. You really can't control it. A
paternal, protective impulse grew inside of me.After that first night, our relationship changed. I was the one she
came to for comfort, for affection, for warmth. Like any father or
husband, I wanted to take care of my woman. Susan was so glad to have an
outlet for her loving side she did not restrict herself to the
occasional chair-snuggle. When I came home she would usually meet me at
the door. At first it was just to say hi, and to ask me about my day.Then one afternoon she gave me an awkward, impulsive hug. I wanted her
to be comfortable so I wrapped her in my arms and held her close for a
few seconds. She felt so good, she fit me so snug. Then I kissed the top
of her head and smiled at her."Thanks squirt, you always give the best hugs".
After that I got a big hug and snuggle as I came home every day. I
have to be honest, it felt good. Knowing at the end of the day, Susan
would be waiting for me. That I could hold her, and talk to her--felt
right.Some days I'd take her right to the chair and pull her down in my lap.
I'd ask her about her day while hugging her, holding her, feeling her
breathe. She was a lonely kid, and she poured her soul out to me. I
enjoyed feeling her. I think she just got used to my cock pressing into
her. It felt natural, to both of us. If my hands rested on the sides of
her breast, or if her ass was on top of my hand--so what, neither one of
us ever mentioned it. It was fun to pick her up and carry her around the
house. Sometimes we wrestled, and I'd pin her. Other times I let her pin
me. We were intimiate. My sister was my confidant, I enjoyed touching
her body, interacting with her mind.The kissing was a little different. At first it was a peck on the cheek.
But then slowly I changed it into a litle more. As a joke one day I
turned my head at the last second so she kissed me on the mouth."Mmm Squirt, you taste good".
My arms were wrapped around her and I held her tight for a minute. We
both laughed a little, and she blushed. I was always complimenting her.
I often told her how pretty she was, or if an outfit made her look
attractive. Kissing was no different. Soon I made it part of our
routine. One of us would pretend to aim for the cheek and the other
would move their head to turn it into a quick lip kiss. We weren't
making out, it usually only lasted about 5 seconds...but it was a
boundary most siblings don't have the courage to cross. Let's review:
I'd hold her, and hug her. She'd sit in my lap, press her breasts into
me, say she loved me. Then we'd kiss and snuggle for hours at a time.
While my hands rested on her tits and ass, and she pressed her cunt,
mashed it into my cock. You tell me, how could I have helped it? I don't
know exactly how or when it happened, but over time I began to spend
more and more time with her. My little sister was my best friend, and in
my mind more.I've always enjoyed working out. I pretty much have to. I'm 6' 4" and
big boned. If I stay in shape I look pretty good. If I goof off, and get
lazy I balloon up. It's about a 20 lb swing but it's all in my gut, butt
and cheeks. With beach season coming up I hit the weights, and began
jogging. Susan was tall for a girl at 5ft 10 in but well proportioned.
At 15, guys her age were usually too short for her. I think they were
intimidated. Add in the fact that she was a good student, and more than
a little naive, and sweet (goody goody), she was not very popular as a
freshman in High School. She was determined not to give them anything
else to pick on. So when I started working out seriously, she asked if
she could join me.We ran 5 miles, 3 days a week. Then alternated with free weights, and
aerobics. Seeing my sister in shorts and a tank top, watching her
breasts jiggle and bounce as she ran beside me was hard enough. But when
she was soaked and sweaty, exhausted but with an endorphin enhanced
smile--it looked like she had just had sex, and since she was working
out with me, since I helped cause her state, it was kind of strange.
Remember these realizations did not happen overnight. I just knew I
thought she was sexy when she sweated, or ran, or stretched out.One day after a long work out she cramped up. Susan was in a lot of pain
in her lower back and thighs."Rub it out honey, you've got to massage it out, I instructed her.
"I can't reach it, it hurts Jaz help me!"
I did not think, as I laid her out flat on the basement floor where we
worked out. I straddled her hips and began a slow deep massage. My hands
pulled on her flesh and she groaned from pain and pleasure. I worked my
way down her thighs and squeezed them long, and hard and slow. I rubbed
her upper thighs for a good 5 minutes. She was moaning and groaning,
slick with sweat, and I was straddling the hump of her beautiful ass. I
felt myself get hard. My cock was nestled into her and it kept twitching
as she writhed around under my massage. If she did not stop soon, I was
going to cum."How does that feel squirt...good, now run upstairs and soak in the tub
for a bit, and I'll make us some cold drinks." I helped her up and
prayed my baggy shorts would help hide my erection."Thanks Jaz what would I do without you, she said as she gave me a
quick kiss on the cheek".About 10 minutes later I had some fruit slushies in hand, as I knocked
on the bathroom door."Come on in, I'm parched, but I'm not ready to get out yet." I opened
the door and was in for a surprise, Susan was in the tub completely
naked.I expected a bubble bath, or that she would be covered up somehow. She
must have thought I would lay it on the counter where she could not be
seen, and reach it after I was gone.It was an honest mistake, after all she did invite me in. I could see
her breasts, her delicious brown nipples. I wanted to suck them right
then. I glanced through the clear water and got rock fucking hard
instantly as I looked at her wet pussy. I knew it was wrong, taboo,
forbidden but I wanted to fuck Susan right then. I wanted to pull her
wet, sexy body out, spread her open, bend her over, and fuck my little
sister till she screamed my name, till she came like a nasty little slut
in heat. I'm not particularly PROUD of it, but that is how I felt.It took her a few minutes to realize that I was standing there. She had
her eyes closed and said "Thanks Jaz just lay my drink down on the side
of the....JAZ! OH MY GOD!""Susan, I'm sorry I did not know, I'm so sorry!"
She tried to cover up, and I know I should have turned away—but I
could not. Seeing her excited and wet, her breasts heaving, her thighs
gliding together, I had to look. I could not help but to stare."John get out of here, I'm naked! Please leave, I'm naked!" She
scrambled out of the tub and was blushing,She grabbed her bathrobe off the hook and ran to her room.
I followed.
"Susan, open up, its me. Let me in. " She was crying. The poor kid was
really upset. I did not wait for an answer and walked in."Susan you are my sister, it's ok. Don't cry baby. You have nothing to
be ashamed of. It's no big deal," I said in a soothing tone as she cried
into her pillow."That's easy for you to say".
Ok I'd prove it to her. Just to make her feel better I quickly
stripped. After all "what's good for the goose...""Susan stop crying, look at me."
"(Gasp), Jaz...you're naked! "
At first I was so glad she had stopped crying that I did not mind her
staring. Soon though I became self conscious. After all she had gotten a
much longer look at me than I got at her. She was just laying there
wrapped in her bath robe staring at me. Well, at my cock. I could not
help it. I started getting hard again. It was not fair. Let's review. I
had been horny ever since our run. Seeing Susan bouncy and sweaty always
did that to me. Then I had pressed my cock into her ass, while giving
her a massage. Next I see her naked for the first time. The tits I had
imagined only in my dreams were beautiful, clearly they were made to be
sucked. Seeing them wet from the tub, seeing her sweet, plump ass when
she stood up, seeing those tender pussy lips peeking out at me as if to
say "Hi!" it was just. Too. Much. Now I was naked, on display, and she
was clearly enjoying herself. I decided to go for it."Susan, take that robe off if you are going to stare at me, I get to
have a good look at your body. I want to see you again"."Wh...no way, absolutely NOT. John!! "
Maybe it was because I had sort of replaced dad in her mind, but when I
roared, "Get hat robe off right NOW!" her hands were shaking and she was
trembling, and I expected her to obey me, It made me a little angry
when she disrespected me. Still I think I surprised us both when I
grabbed the robe and tore it off of her. She was naked. She was so
naked. I pushed her down on the bed and stared at my little sister's
body. She was too scared to move, and I fell in love with her right
then.
"
That's a good girl. I'm not going to hurt you but I need to see you. I'm
just going to take a look. Susan, you are so beautiful."Her brown eyes were staring back at me, tears dripping down her face,
onto her neck and tits. They made her nipples wet, and salty, and tasty.
How could I possibly resist? I crawled on top of Susan and began to lick
and sniff and kiss her nipples gently. She was crying in shame and fear,
and probably a little lust."Hold still baby, let me have them, Oh , oh god Susan you taste so
fucking good," I said between sucks and licks, and long slow sniffs.
I really enjoyed playing with Susan's tits, they were puffy medium
sized nips. Just a very fat handful. She is so warm and soft, I enjoyed
rolling, and mashing her. If I squeezed them just right, a quick pinch
and a twist she would let out this lady-like little "(gasp) Oh!". At
first I was gentle but soon I was squeezing one hard while I nibbled and
sucked her other one. Susan was sweating and shaking now. I have to
admit I loved the control I felt. Playing with her breasts was a lot of
fun, but I wanted more."C'mere baby sit up, we need to talk, "
She sat up slowly and had the nerve to try and be modest, to deny me my
right to see her! Was my own sister trying to tease me?As we sat on the side of her bed I realized it was time we be honest
with each other."Susan, honey do you know why I did what I did, do you understand?"
"John it's ok, I know, it was a mistake, just an accident, I forgive
you. I still love you., she said while hiding her tits and cunt from me."I'm glad to hear that you understand, that you still love me. But
sweetie, I'm sorry it's not over yet. I still need something from you.
Will you help me?""Wh, wdaya mean it's not over, John, it HAS to be over. This can never
happen again, I'm your sister. I love you but not like that. What do you
need my help with?" she asked in rapid fire."Susan, I don't know how it happened, I'm sorry but I fell in love with
you. Not just as a brother, but as a MAN. I, I need you baby. I need to
touch you and hug you, to know that you love me too, just a little bit.
Susan, can I have a hug, can we snuggle up like we used to, please?"You have to understand what a sweet kid Susan is. She could not bear to
deny my need for her affection. She remembered how many times she had
come to me, and held me tight."Um, ok...let me put my robe and some panties on...uh, maybe you should
get dressed and we'll go downstairs..." As soon as she stood up and
reached for the robe I pulled her down in my lap. My cock was pressed
tight against her."John no, let me go!" she squealed as she struggled as I wrapped my
arms around her."Shh baby, hold still, I won't do anything I just need you, " I said as
I cupped her breasts and stroked her softly.I think she realized that all her wiggling and gyrating only excited me
more. Soon she settled down and finally relaxed a little. After all I
was just giving her a massage. A long slow, tit massage. Susan's
breathing picked up. I could smell her now. Her pussy was juicing up. I
wanted to fuck her so bad, but I knew I had to go slow. I had to lie."Susan, can I ask you a favor. You've been out on dates right? Ok, uh,
well, um, I'm still a virgin, and have never had a real kiss from a
girl. I always wanted my first kiss to be with someone I love. Will you
teach me how to kiss? Just a little bit. Nothing really extreme, just so
I can get the idea," I said as I rolled her plump, hard little nipples."John I don't think that's a good idea, we shouldn't. It's wrong, what
if somebody found out..."I stood us both up and kissed her slowly. At first she did not respond
but then, she opened r mouth a little and let me in."Wait, mmm, John, ssss, ok, that's enough. Let me go now."
My cock was jammed into her soft belly, as I mashed her against me. The
kiss went on and on. My sister fit me good. I needed more. I did not say
a word as I forced her back down on the bed, and covered her. I think
she believed I was going to kiss her nipples again. She was right. I
French-kissed her for a while, and then slowly moved south, licking and
kissing, sucking and nibbling her neck, her breasts, her belly button."Open your legs Susan, I want to taste your pussy. You smell so good, I
have to."This was where she drew the line, her pussy was off limits to me. She
realized if she gave in here, I would never stop."Absolutely not, John. I won't let you do this. It is wrong. It is
incest, this is RAPE!. John if you do this you will be RAPING me."I have to admit that bothered me. A lot. I did not want to rape my baby
sister, I just wanted to make love to her, to make us both feel good.
Rape is wrong. It is a sick evil thing. That's not the kind of person I
am."I'm so sorry little baby, I'm so sorry. I love you. Oh my god, I don't
want to rape you. Please don't make me rape you, don't make me be a
rapist. I don't know what to do. I can't help it. I need you, you're my
woman now. I have to be inside you now. Let me be your lover, make me be
your man. Susan, don't force me to be your rapist, I don't think either
of us would ever be the same. Help me to love you, please baby, I will
be so gentle, so good to you. If I hurt you I'll stop. But as sick as it
sounds, as wrong as it is...I own you.You are my woman, my property. I have earned the right to fuck you
senseless, and I am going to do it. But first I want you nice and wet.
I'm going to eat your pussy till you cum all over me, and then I am
going to put my cock inside of you and fuck your cunt. Hard, and slow.
Then I'll rest, and I'll fuck you, and suck you again and again, and
again."I could feel my blood pounding in my ears, I felt hot, and salty. I
remember swallowing a lot as I pushed Susan down. She was crying softly
as I spread her legs but she did not say a word."Wider baby, scooch up and rub your snatch on my face. Mmm, good baby,
you taste soo sweet. Harder Susan, grind that juicy little cunt, make me
lick you good. Cum for me, cum all over me, I want to drink my sister
dry. Does that mmm, does that feel good, hmmm. Ooh look there is your
baby clitty. Oooh it's so hard. Your brother is I'm gonna play with it
for awhile. Do you like that Susan?" I asked as I cupped her sweet,
round ass and lifted her dripping fresh pussy to my face.She did, she liked it a lot.
"Oh god, oh my gaaawd, what are you doing, please stop, what are you
doing to me? I don't understand, John help me, it burns, it hurts, it
feel sooo goood, why, oh shit, oh shit, oh shitty shit, shit. Right
there, right fucking there, yesssss (Grrrroaan!)".I could see it, her little pussy was contracting, clamping on my tongue.
I stuck a finger inside. She was so cute! Sweating and panting and
cumming on my hand. She was out of it. I realized this was the best time
to fuck her.I positioned myself between her legs and rubbed her clit with my cock.
Soon she was headed to her second orgasm, and barely paying attention to
me. I could not help it. I wanted her to know."It's time Susan. I'm going to fuck you now. Your brother is going to
take your virginity. Open your legs wide. I'm gonna do ya real slow. I'm
gonna fuck you so good Susan. At the last minute she returned to
herself."Huh, John, no. You can't fuck me. Look I admit it, the rest felt
good. Especially the last part. Kiss me, play with my tits, suck my
pussy, heck I'll even suck your cock for you, it's only fair. But
please, John. I don't want to get pregnant, not with my brother's son.
Don't fuck me. Don't humiliate me."I supported her in my arms and sat up with her straddling my legs. I
wanted to put an end to this bull shit once and for all. I had just made
Susan cum TWICE. I mean, fuck, I had rights too. She had to admit, that
she wanted my fat 7 incher in her cunt. Enough was enough. I started
rubbing her clit and pussy lips until she began to drip. She was
gyrating wildly, trying not to sit on my cock. The hornier she got, the
wetter her snatch got, the more she wanted to stuff me inside her. A
part of her wanted me to do it, to absolve her of all responsibility.
I'd be her brother the rapist, and she'd be a victim.Uh, uh sis. It's not going to be that way. You see I love Susan. She
needed to accept that, to admit she wants me too. I grabbed two handfuls
of her plump little bottom and rubbed and squeezed that beautiful ass of
hers. I pulled her snug on my lap, and kissed my woman hard, stealing
her breath, and nestling her against me. Her cum was trickling down my
leg, as she kissed me back. She was trembling from need, from her desire
to be thickly fucked by her man, to be taken hard, to be pounded into
sexual submission."Please..."
It was so low, I almost missed it. I heard it, but I wanted to hear it
again."Please..."
"What do you need baby, tell daddy what you need...do you need to be
fucked by your man? Do you need this cock shoved deep inside of you? ""Yes, god help me, but yes, I need it, I need it John. Please!" I swear
I was not trying to torture her, but I had to know. I had to make sure
we were both clear."Am I your man, do you love me. Can I fuck you when I want? Ok, then
prove it. Take my fat cock and ram it in hard to your virgin cunt. Sit
down on it hard Susan, fuck yourself on daddy's cock baby. Go ahead, as
hard as you want, as long as you want, whatever you want baby, it's
yours, and you're mine."Her hands were shaking as she guided me into her. She did it slowly, but
she did it. She was so tight, so sweet. I kissed her gently through the
first piercing pain. She clutched me hard and whimpered. I let her rest
on my cock. As horny as I was, my fraternal instincts kicked in. My
little sister needed me to be patient and gentle. I gave her a brotherly
hug while my cock was inside her and she sat facing me, in my lap ."Shh baby it's alright, get used to it. We have time. I love you, I love
you baby, shhh."I played with her nipples as I kissed her slowly back to arousal. It
was almost imperceptible at first but she began to stir, then shift.
Soon she was grinding, and humping my cock in earnest.She was siting up high and feeding me a sweet titty. I suckled her as
she slammed herself down on my meat. Over and over, faster and harder.
Quick slam, slam, slow, hold, hold, grind, repeat, repeat, repeat.I flipped her over, I wanted my sister in the missionary position, I
wanted to slam her good and proper, to be on top, to have her feel my
weight, my authority.She wrapped her legs around me and I could hear her sloshing, her
juices as I pounded away inside her. Her tits were flapping now, and my
balls were slapping her ass in a hard staccato rhythm.I lost control at some point, I hope I wasn't too rough with her, I did
not mean to be. I felt like branding her, like marking my sister. Nobody
else would ever have her. I was her first, last, her everything. I had
passed love making, left fucking far behind. I was rutting with Susan.
It was the fuck-till-death instinct. We came within seconds of each
other and went to sleep wrapped in our lover's arms.Epilogue.
At first Susan was shy. Over the next few months she questioned our
relationship several times. Every time I made love to her she would
question it afterwards.Finally I had enough.
"Susan, I love you. I want to be your man. I want to be the one who
holds you, who cares for you. No man could ever love you like I do.
But...you have to want this. You have to want me. So I'll make you a
deal. I go away to college in 3 months. You be my woman every day until
then. I'm going to pound that tight little pussy of yours every day.
Anytime I want you, be my willing fuck-slut. Suck my cock, spread that
sweet, round little ass open for daddy, Every day I'm going to fuck you
into a silly little, sexy puddle, and you will not complain. Then I am
gone. You can decide if what we have is real, if you love me. If you
need to date other people that's ok. Tell me and I get to do the same.
Picture me fucking another woman, telling her how beautiful SHE is, that
I love HER. It's up to you. If you want to be my woman, come to me. Ask
me to be your man again and I will. If you don't you are free. I'll go
back to being your brother. You have a year to make up your mind."That's what we did. I went away to Cal state University, on the other
side of the country from my mom and Sis. I E-mailed and called often but
did not visit. Susan dated some and even though I knew I could too--I
chose not too. The thought of another man fucking my Susan was painful.
If I went home and actually saw it, it would drive me insane.A year passed I am a sophomore now, and Susan had made her decision. It
hurt. She does not love me. I had to find a way to accept it, to move
on. That's partly why I started writing this e-mail. It took me a long
time to get it all down. I had to sort this out, figure out what
happened. I had written most of it when there was a knock at my door."Yeah, whoisit?"
I opened the door and there she was. My sister. My little naked sister
Susan, whhhhut? She was naked. She was on her knees with her head bowed
and she was crying."Susan get in here before someone sees you!" I hissed.
"NO!, please let me do this, I have to do this. After what I have done,
I have to make it right between us." she was shaking now."Shh baby, it's ok. I understand. Look I let things get out of hand. I
fell in love with you and I did not consider your feelings. We will be
ok, honey. I'm your brother, we're family. Don't cry anymore. Now come
inside, " I said as I pulled her to her feet, and gave her a brotherly
hug.She clung to me. I got her a robe and sat down next to her on the bed. I
put my arm around her shoulder. "John...would you mind, if I got in your
lap and watched TV? Like we used to. I need to be close to you, please."
After all we had been through that seemed ok to me, it would feel nice.
Susan and I got into bed together and turned on the TV. She laid down in
my lap and threw the robe off her. Slowly she unbuttoned my shirt so her
bare skin could touch me."You are my man, and I love you. This is where I belong. Every time
another man tried to touch me I felt sick, and guilty, and told him to
stop. I belong to you and I know it now. Please John, please take me
back. I, I can't just be your sister. I need to be your slut. "The grin came first, and then the tears as I held my sister tight. Soon
we would be making love, we'd both been celibate for over a year. But
for now it felt good to just hold her, to feel her warm, skin nestled
snug against me. For now that was more than enough.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I started this before the chicken-shit assholes attacked America. It's
kind of scary how angry we can get in a very short period of time.Usually I am immune to mob mentality, knee-jerk reactions but...shit not
yesterday, not today, and it does not look good for tomorrow.The thing is one day I know I will care about law, due process,
reasonableness, fairness, morality, patience...but not today. Today I
keep seeing Palestinian Men, women and children joyous, jubilant,
dancing in the streets over the death of American, children, women and
men. I want to believe that this was an atypical reaction. That we are
seeing a fanatic, group of sick hate-mongerers. But I'm not so sure.There is a voice inside that is screaming kill them, rip them, crush
them all. Send in the Marines, send in the bombs, put a bounty on their
heads, gut them on Larry King Live. Better yet give them to the wives of
the New York's Finest, New York's Bravest and let them decide what is
fair. It's not MY voice. I don't sound like that. I don't hate like
that.
Today I don't care. I won't care tomorrow...but great god, I hope I care
again soon.As always it's just a fucking story. I hope it distracts someone for a
while.There, now I can rest easy. Drop me a line
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