Looking Through The Lens

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Chapter 2: In Through the Out Door

Back Home

I spent the next few melancholy mornings on the pier, trying to recapture the feeling of fishing with my friend.  It was more depressing than therapeutic, even though I was catching three times as many fish as when she was with me. 

After a while, I realized I was hoping to see her walking down the pier, even though she was gone.  I stopped going to fish altogether.

Julie and Lara tried to hang out with me, but I wasn’t much in the mood for wild water games.  They kept their distance after a few sullen rejections.  I played my blues on my guitar, and lay low for two or three days, wondering if there was a way to find out her name.  I could ask Julie, but that seemed awkward at best.  I considered going into her family fish shop and asking around, but I felt a little weird about doing that, too.  Questions like that usually engendered more questions.  I didn’t want that.

Besides, how would knowing her name help?  It wouldn’t bring her back to fish with me.  I wasn’t going to see her for at least a year, and probably never again.  I resigned myself to the situation and just reminisced and self-pitied.

A few nights after the pier girl left, there was a knock on my door.  Lara came into my room after I grunted.  I was on my bed, picking on my guitar. 

“Come on, get up,” Lara demanded.  “You’ve been playing that thing all day.”

“So what?”

She stood at the foot of the bed, expectantly.   “We’re going out.”

“Out?  Where?”

“Somewhere, anywhere.  Come on!”

I didn’t want to move, but maybe getting out would help my lonely feelings go away for a while.  I sat there for a few moments, considering the offer.

“All right.  Let me put on some clothes.  I’ll be right out.”

A few minutes later I was ready, and Lara led me out through the porch and down to the beach.  We started off towards town along the firm, wet sand.  Lara was walking fast.  When we approached the pier, I had a feeling I knew how the night was going to end up.  Sure enough, when we reached the gazebo, I heard familiar voices in the darkness.

“What took you so long?” Julie asked.

“Matt was being a lazy-ass,” Lara explained.

“Hi Julie,” I said.  I nodded at James.

“Hi Matt,” Julie said cheerily.  “Have some.”

I grabbed the mostly full bottle of whiskey from Julie’s outstretched hand, and took a good swig, and finding strange pleasure in the burning sensation, for once.  I passed the bottle to James, who was sitting on the top edge of one of the weathered bench backs.

Being on the pier and buzzed was a bad mix.  Although the walk over with Lara had lifted my spirits a little, after a while I was feeling depressed about the situation with the pier girl, again.  I kept glancing over at the railing where we usually would stand.  Even in the darkness, I could see her there like it was mid-morning.

Would she have told me she was leaving if I hadn’t asked?  Maybe she was not really gone.  Maybe she just didn’t want to hang out with me anymore.  More than a few thoughts of rejection went through my head, as I stared off at the dark water while the three others talked.

“We’re going to walk down the pier,” announced Lara. 

James stood up behind her.  “Are you two coming?” 

Before we could answer, Lara shrieked, “James, quit it!”  Evidently James had tickled her. 

“I’ll stay here,” I slurred.  I wasn’t sure if I should walk down to the railing just then, given my state of drunkenness. 

“All right, we’ll be back in a bit.”

James and Lara walked off.  Instead of going with them, Julie scooted over next to me, propping her legs up on the bench.

“You’re quiet tonight,” she said after some silence.

“I guess.  Just in one of those quiet moods.” 

“Are you mad at me?” she asked.

“Mad at you?”  I turned and looked at her in surprise.  “No…  Why would you say that?”

“Well, I thought we were having a good time this week,” she said slowly, “and then the last few days you seemed like you didn’t want to be here.”

I took a breath and thought about it.  Was she right?  I had been avoiding hanging out with her, and hadn’t considered her feelings.  But I wasn’t sure what to say.  Somehow I knew telling her about the pier girl would be the wrong approach.

“Well, I guess I was just in a funk.  Still am.  But it’s nothing about you.  I’ve been having a good time, really.”  My words sounded muddy.  When she didn’t say anything, I went on.  “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you.  I was just… deep in thought.”

“About what?” she asked gently.

About what?  What could I possibly be moody about, being fourteen and on vacation at the beach?  I thought for a second, but I could only think of the pier girl.

“I don’t know,” I said at last.  “I’m sorry I’m being such a downer, though.”

“No you’re not a downer.  I’ve had a lot of fun with you this summer,” she said, looking up at me with big eyes.

I looked at her through the slight fog of the whiskey.  She held my gaze.

“Me too,” I said quietly. 

It was then that it really hit me that the pier girl was gone for the summer.  It wasn’t meant to be, and it was pointless to dwell on it.

Neither of us looked away for what seemed like a minute.  Suddenly we both leaned in, and I kissed her softly.  She eagerly returned the kiss.  Her lips parted slightly and I felt her tongue tentatively touch mine as we moved closer.  The kiss gradually grew more heated until we broke off, breathing hard.

“I was hoping you’d do that,” she whispered, her eyes dancing in the dim light from the houses on the shore.

For lack of anything to say, I pulled her close, and kissed her again.

Maybe the summer wouldn’t be a complete loss after all.

A while later, we heard Lara and James coming back.  For some reason they were stomping loudly at times, and then giggling. 

Julie and I quickly untangled ourselves and got up to stretch.  My lips were tired from the kissing; but it had been incredibly sweet, so I didn’t mind.  We didn’t go beyond heavy kissing and a bit of tame groping, but I was very aroused.  I was in a much better mood, even though there was still something missing inside of me. 

“We thought you fell off,” I said quickly to Lara and James, trying to divert any attention onto them.

“Nah, just talking,” said James, just as quickly.  I couldn’t tell in the light, but his shirt looked skewed and Lara’s hair was looking a touch wilder than when they had left us.  I had a feeling they had been having their own lip battle.

“Is there anything left in that bottle?” asked Lara, her voice breathy.

“Yeah, here,” I said, passing her the whiskey, and feeling glad that she wasn’t scrutinizing me.  “I’m done for the night.” 

Lara took a drink, and gave Julie a long look, which she returned.  I thought I saw a slight nod and smile from each of them, but I was drunk and it was dark.

“What time is it?” Lara asked.

James answered.

“We should head back,” said Lara, cheerily.  “It’s getting late.”

James said his goodbyes at the foot of the pier, where he headed in off towards his house.  Julie, Lara and I stumbled down the beach back to my aunt’s.  I had my arm around each girl’s waist, and our six legs combined were just enough to manage the walk along the uneven sand without falling.  We were being quite noisy, although no one was out at this hour.

When we got to the house, fortunately the adults were not home from their bar outing yet.  I shared a private smile with Julie before she went into Lara’s room.  Despite wishing I could have gotten one more kiss, I wasn’t bold enough to do that in front of my sister.

In my own bed, I thought about the pier girl for a long while.  Then my thoughts turned to Julie, sleeping just beyond the far wall.  What would it be like to sneak in there and…? 

Eventually, I passed out into a deep sleep.

Julie and Lara were hanging out in the ocean the next day, working off their hangovers.  I waded out to join them, and Julie and I shared a private smile.

“James asked about our parents last night, when we went for our walk,” Lara said to me.

“So you really were talking?” I asked with a smirk.

“Of course we were!” Lara retorted.  “What did you think we were doing?  Swapping tongues like you and Julie?”

Despite the cool water, Julie instantly turned bright red, and I felt my face heating up too. 

“Lara, we... we…” stammered Julie.

“So what did James say?”  I asked quickly, preempting any further discussion.

“He thought it was cool.  He kind of figured it out by watching.  He was confused about our names, though.”

“Yeah, I suppose he would be.”

Lara and I had been born Lara Jackson and Matt Birch, taking our mother’s respective names.  After our father had died, our mothers combined our last names to Jackson-Birch.  They wanted us to have the same last name, as siblings, to keep our family bond.

“Speaking of…” said Julie, pointing towards the shore. 

James was walking down the sand.  He tossed his towel near ours and waded in.  His sharp-cut Scottish face showed no signs of the previous night’s heavy drinking. 

“You are a sorry looking lot,” he said, grinning broadly.  Lara splashed him in answer.

The four of us lounged in the waves, no one really having much energy to do anything but float and occasionally comment on something random.  After a while, Lara and James drifted away from Julie and me.

“Sorry about that before.  She was kissing with James too,” Julie said. 

“I figured as much,” I said evenly. 

There were a few moments of quiet as we watched them.  I didn’t feel as comfortable with Julie in the light of day as I had the night before under the influence of the whiskey.

“So what’s the plan for today?” I asked, moving away from the suddenly uncomfortable subject of last night’s kissing.

“Maybe another bike ride?  After lunch I have to check in on the house I’m house-sitting for, but after that we can go.”

“That sounds good.”

There was another stretch of silence as my brain searched for something to say.  All I could think about was that I had nothing to say.  I started wishing I had stayed in bed.

The next twenty minutes went by like molasses, as I desperately tried to keep a conversation going.  By the time my mom came out onto the beach and called out lunch, I felt like an idiot.  As we walked out of the waves, Julie seemed as cheery as ever, but to me the events of the night before seemed to be slipping away like the seawater off of her smooth body.

By the time we went out on the bike ride, I had come to the conclusion that last night was just a fluke, and that Julie thought I was a dork.  Seeing her and Lara confer in quiet tones and then giggle a few times during lunch didn’t help either.

I knew it wasn’t my day when my bike developed a flat tire a few miles from the house.  I called out ahead to the others as I slowed to the side of the road.

“Must have ridden over a thorn or a tack,” I said.

“What should we do?” asked Julie.

They stood around on their bikes as I examined the tire.  I’m not sure what I expected to accomplish, having neither a spare tube nor a pump, but I didn’t know what else to do besides stare at the rubber glumly.

“We’ll ride back and have Aunt Beth come back and pick you up,” Lara said.

“All right.  I guess I’ll wait over there in the shade,” I said, pointing up the road to a stand of bushes and trees that offered a cool place to sit.

“We’ll be back in a while.” 

Lara and James rode off.  I felt my heart sink when I saw that Julie was staying behind.  Great, another half-hour of torturous silence, I thought.  She climbed off her bike and came over to where I was still pretending to examine the tire.

“Do you mind if I wait here with you?” she asked shyly.

“No, that’s cool,” I said.  “Thanks,” I added, after a moment. 

I stood up and started pushing my bike towards the shady area.  Julie got her bike and followed.  She sat down right next to me.

“I can’t believe I got a flat.  This sucks,” I said.  I let out a long sigh.

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” she said, looking at me coyly. 

I looked back at her for a second.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.  I meant my tire getting flat,” I said quickly.

“Maybe it was meant to happen.”

I was surprised to feel her head lean up against my shoulder.

“Maybe,” I said, suddenly distracted from the tire.  “You didn’t have to wait here with me.”

“I wanted to.”

We sat in quiet for a minute, my head a confusion of thoughts. 

“I think when we get back to town I’ll go in and…”

I stopped talking when I felt her lips on my neck.  A wave of relief flooded over me.

I turned to her and kissed her gently.  All the stupid thoughts in my head suddenly disappeared.  She didn’t think I was an idiot, after all!

The sound of an approaching car broke us out of our kiss.

“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” she said, her eyes dreamy. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.  In the water, at lunch…”

“So you poked a hole in my tire before we left?” I asked teasingly, tickling her lightly.

“No!” she squeaked. 

She tried to squirm away, but I kept an arm firm around her waist, suddenly feeling confident. 

“Matt!  No fair!” she said, laughing uncontrollably.  She started tickling me back.  I’m fairly ticklish, and in the heat of the moment I grabbed her arms and pushed her down onto her back, pinning her down with my leg and body.  Our faces ended up a few inches apart.  She continued her struggles half-heartedly for a few moments, before giving up and looking at me, breathing heavily.  Her eyes were vulnerable and open.

I kissed her hard.  I could feel her smooth legs against mine, and the rise and fall of her chest.  Our arousal grew as we kissed passionately, slowly moving against each other. 

Honk!  A passing car sounded its horn and scared the crap out of us.  We sat up instantly, squinting at the back of the receding station wagon.  Neither of us recognized the car, so it was likely some smart-ass who thought we were having too good of a time.  And they were probably correct, considering we were right at the side of the road.

“Sorry.  I, uh…” I said.

“I liked it,” said Julie. 

She gave me a lusty look and wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for another kiss.  When she tried to pull me back down to the grass, I broke away from her lips.

“Maybe we should wait, or something,” I said quickly, my heart still racing.  “I mean, someone might drive by again and see us.”

“So what?”  She flitted her tongue into my mouth teasingly.

“So, it might be my aunt next time!” 

“Let’s go behind the bushes then,” she whispered, a wild look growing in her eyes.

“I don’t know…  They could be here any minute.” 

I glanced down the road, and then looked back at her, trying to resist the call of her eyes. 

“When we get back we’ll figure something out,” I added, somewhat unsteadily. 

I had no idea what that would be, but it seemed to mollify her.  We kissed gently and more carefully, keeping watch for cars.

Minutes later, Melissa arrived to pick us up.  I silently breathed a sigh of relief that my mom hadn’t driven by when we were on the ground. 

Julie held my hand quietly in the back of the car for the whole ride home, and if my mom noticed, she didn’t show it.

When we got back to the house, Julie had a hungry look in her eyes.  Lara and James were getting ready to go swim and they asked if we wanted to join them.  I wanted to find somewhere to be alone with Julie, so I rejected the offer.  I wasn’t sure if there was anywhere that wasn’t obvious, though.  Retreating to my room seemed impossible, with all the adults around. 

I took Julie outside to the beach and looked about.  Besides some tufts of beach grass here and there, there wasn’t much to offer any privacy.  I couldn’t think of any place to go.  The pier offered no shelter in the daylight.  I made a mental note to find some secluded areas within walking distance of the house, but that didn’t solve my current problem. 

“Where do you want to go?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know.”

“How about your room?”

“My aunt and parents are inside the house.”

“We’ll be quiet.”

I thought for a second.  Who would have thought this had to be so difficult? 

Maybe it didn’t have to be.  I turned to Julie, and lowered my voice.

“You go in first, and if it’s clear, go to my room.  Then after a few minutes I’ll come in,” I said.  I winced at the childishness of the situation.

Julie practically ran inside.

“Slow down!” I whispered loudly to Julie, and also to the butterflies in my stomach.

A little while later I went inside.  My parents and Beth were out on the porch chatting.  No one seemed to notice me, so I walked down the hall and into my room, breathing a sigh of relief when I locked the door behind me.

Julie wasn’t there.

“Julie?” I said quietly.  “Julie!”

The folding closet doors spread open and Julie stepped out into the room.

“I didn’t know if it was going to be your aunt,” she explained.

Suddenly I laughed, a bit loudly. 

“Shh…!  What’s so funny?” she asked.

“We’re like five-year-olds, sneaking around!” I said.

“Well, no one knows we’re here,” she said.

I nodded.  “We have to be quiet.  The porch is right out there,” I said, pointing.

“Okay, no more talking then.” 

Julie came to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me passionately.  I pulled her close and let my hands caress her back.  Our kissing grew more intense.  She let out a slight moan as I pressed my tongue into her mouth. 

I quickly started getting aroused again.  Her breasts were pressed against me, and I could feel her hard nipples against my chest.  I was a little self-conscious about having Julie feel my growing erection, so I loosened my embrace and stepped back to sit on the bed. 

I thought she would sit next to me.  To my surprise, she straddled my lap and resumed our heated kiss.  Any chance of not having her notice my arousal was gone, as she planted herself firmly down on me. 

While I was kissing Julie, I was partly in disbelief.  Here I was in my room, making out with an admittedly sexy girl, when just yesterday I was sulking over the pier girl.  It was all happening too fast, and I could barely register the intense feelings of pleasure that I felt as we kissed. 

At the same time, a corner of my brain was still thinking survival, and after what seemed like an hour of kissing, I thought we should probably return to the beach to avoid any suspicion.  I didn’t know what my parents would think if they knew what was going on, but I didn’t want to find out.

“We should go back to the beach.  It’s been fifteen minutes,” I said, breathing a bit hard.

“You were timing it?”

“No!” I exclaimed.  “I just happened to look at my clock when I came in.”

“I was just kidding,” she said, with a laugh.  Reluctantly, she got up from her position, giving me one last kiss.

We gathered ourselves, and we decided I would go out first, making sure everything was clear.  Then I would wave Julie out. 

That five-year-old feeling returned again as I opened the door and looked out.  Everything was clear, so Julie followed me out to the kitchen.  The adults were still on the porch.  Lara and James were still on the beach.  There was no crowd of onlookers to watch us exit the room, like I had expected.

“Go out and I’ll meet you on the beach,” I said.  Julie pulled me to her and kissed me.  I struggled for a second before pulling away.

“Quit it!  They might see us!” I whispered, but had to laugh when I saw the look in Julie’s eyes.  She gave me a wink as she walked out to the porch.  I watched her firm legs, thinking that I could get used to this.

For the rest of the day Julie seemed to be testing the boundaries of how close to the adults she would kiss me.  In the hallway with the adults right around the corner in the kitchen, in the bathroom with the door wide open, and out on the porch were just a few of the places she grabbed me for a quick, hot kiss.  Finally, she slipped me the tongue in the kitchen.  We were right behind Sarah, who was making dinner.  I pushed Julie quietly, but urgently, towards my room.

“Are you crazy?” I exclaimed in a loud whisper, as I shut the door behind us.  She just stood there smiling at me. 

The next thing I knew we were on the bed, groping and kissing heatedly.  The teasing had gotten us both worked up, and suddenly the dam broke.  Julie was on top of me, moaning softly and grinding her hips against mine while she tried to put her tongue down my throat. 

It was hard to believe what was going on.  She had always been Lara’s friend in Montauk, and until this year I had never thought of her as anything but that.  And now she was here in my bed as hot as could be.  Had I missed something?  Part of me was in ecstasy over the feelings her mouth and body were giving me, while another part of me wondered what had gotten into her.  Was it real?  Could I keep up with it?

I decided to enjoy the pleasure and worry about everything else later.

Julie pulled at my shirt, so I sat up and let her remove it.  She pushed me back down on the bed, eager to continue our explorations.  She rubbed her hands over my chest, before returning to kissing me.  I decided to see what would happen if I started lifting Julie’s tank top.  Tentatively, I pulled at the lower part of it, ready at the first sign of resistance to pretend it was just a caress. 

She felt what I was doing and sat up, grabbed the hem, and peeled it off smoothly.  She threw it across the room onto my desk.  That was the end of that!

I’d seen Julie in a bikini top all week, and while it was arousing when we were on the beach, it was a whole different level of arousal when she was on top of me, having just enthusiastically taken off her shirt.

When she came back down to kiss me some more, I fumbled with the strings that tied her bathing suit, and finally got them loose.  I had just untied the knot behind her neck when I heard “Lara! Matt, Julie! Dinner!” called out from the porch. 

Julie looked up. 

“Crap,” I whispered.  “We need to go eat.”

“No, let’s stay here.”

“We can’t!  They won’t start without us.”

“They might think we went for a walk.  They won’t find us.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

She leaned down and kissed me again.  I kissed back, not wanting to go either.  We were drunk on arousal, and not thinking straight.

As if in rebuttal to her statement, there was a knock on my door.  My heart was already racing, but it sped up a significant amount when I heard that knock.

“What?” I said, trying to keep my voice normal.

“Dinner time,” said Sarah.  “Have you seen Lara or Julie?”

“Um, no.”

“Okay, come and eat, sweetie.”

For a brief second, neither of us moved.  Then there was a flurry of activity as Julie jumped up.  I started to get up, but was mesmerized by the sight of her breasts bouncing freely as she hurriedly put on her tank top. 

“Here,” I said, holding out the bikini top she had left on my chest.

“Just hide it,” she said, tossing me my shirt.  She briefly fixed her hair in the mirror.

After a look around my room, I stuffed the bathing suit top under my pillow and quickly put on my shirt. 

Now what?  If everyone was seated for dinner, or in the kitchen, they would easily see Julie and me coming down the hallway together. 

“Wait here,” I said.

I peeked out into the hallway.  I could hear Melissa and Beth in the kitchen.  I went back into my room.  Julie stood there expectantly.  She looked incredible, in her cutoffs and tank top.  Her nipples clearly were still hard.  I was too, for that matter, despite the fright of the interruption.

“Everyone is out there,” I said, trying to figure out what to do.

“Let’s just walk out separately,” Julie offered nonchalantly.

“My parents would freak.”

“I don’t think so.  They’re cool.”

“I don’t know.  I’d rather not,” I said lamely.  “I already told my mom you weren’t in here.”

“I can say I was in Lara’s room.”

“No, her door is open.”  I looked around for an answer.

“I’ll go out the window,” Julie said simply.

“What?  It’s like seven or eight feet down!”  The house was on a bit of a slope, so the room’s windows were not at ground level.

“Oh, I’ll be fine.  Just give me a hand,” Julie said.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I protested.

“It’s either that or we walk out through the door.” 

I looked at her for a moment, considering the options.  It was either risk an injury from the jump, or face the embarrassment of walking out to the kitchen together.

Stifling a cringe, I opened the window and pushed up the screen.  There was nothing besides grass under the window, luckily.  Julie stuck her leg out, and then leaned over and kissed me for a few moments.  Then she smoothly slipped her body through the opening so she was straddling the sill.  With some help from me, she managed to get her other leg out, and jump down.

“Ow!” I heard, as she landed with a dull thump. 

I poked my head out, concerned.  “Are you all right?” I asked quietly.  She was standing there holding her forearm.

“Yeah, I just scraped it on the screen,” she said, showing me a red scrape on her forearm. 

I winced. 

She looked up and smiled at me.  “I’m fine.  See you at dinner,” she said, walking up towards the road.

I watched her go, wishing she was still in my room.

When I came out to the kitchen, I hoped I didn’t look as worked up as I felt.  I had spent a few minutes sitting on my bed, picturing Julie’s beautiful body, and then a few more minutes trying to compose myself. 

Once in the kitchen, Sarah looked at me, and gave me a smile.  She asked me to help with setting the table.  I was glad for something to do. 

Lara came into the kitchen and helped me.

“Where’s Julie?” she asked.

“What?  I don’t know.”

“I thought she was with you,” said Lara.

I looked at her for a moment.  “No, she must have gone home.”

“Is she eating dinner with us?” Melissa asked me.

“How would I know?  She’s Lara’s friend,” I said, a bit annoyed now. 

“She was with you, last I saw,” said Lara, a smirk developing on her face.

I looked at her again, shooting daggers at her with my eyes.  “What the hell?” I mouthed.  She just grinned back.

“I think she was eating here, but I don’t know,” I said.  My face was heating up again.

“Better set her a place,” Sarah said, nodding at the cupboard. 

I gave Lara one more dirty look before I returned to setting the table.  Lara just giggled.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang.  Aunt Beth opened the door and Julie came in, greeting everyone cheerily. 

I looked at Lara, noting with satisfaction the surprised look on her face.  She was certainly expecting to see Julie come out from the hallway, pretending to have been in her room or something. 

Lara glanced at me with narrowed eyes.  I just looked back at her, only letting a slightly triumphant grin cross my face.

Sometime during dinner, Melissa asked Julie about her forearm scrape.

“Oh, that.  I scraped it on a window sill,” Julie said matter-of-factly, staring at the scrape for a second.

I choked on a fish bone I had been working on in my mouth, coughing several times.

“Are you all right, Matt?” asked Melissa. 

I thought her voice carried more mischief than concern.  I was probably just paranoid though.  Julie was looking at me with a grin.

“Fine…  Just a fish bone,” I finally managed, holding it out after extracting it from my throat.

“I was trying to close the screen in my room at home and it was stuck,” continued Julie.  “Then my hand slipped and I scraped it against the sill.”

 “That’s a shame,” said Sarah.  “Windows can be dangerous,” she added cryptically, looking at me.  I studied my plate of food.  There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

“You should get a tetanus shot,” offered Hans. 

He went on to tell a lengthy story about his friend who didn’t get one.  I silently thanked Hans for the digression, though he didn’t know what he had done for me.

After dinner, Julie went home for the night.  I was out on the dark porch, playing my guitar and reliving the day’s events, especially the events on my bed.  Julie did not just want to do some tame kissing, obviously.  The thought was exciting, and a little frightening, too.

It was getting late when the adults wrapped up their card game, and they started getting ready for bed.  Melissa came out onto the porch.

“Goodnight, Matt,” she said.

“Goodnight, Mom.”

She looked at me for a moment as I played.  I finally looked up at her when she hadn’t gone back inside.

“You know,” she said, “we can buy you a rope ladder.”

My guitar playing skipped a beat.  So did my heart, which suddenly was in my throat.  She was standing with the light behind her, but even in the darkness I could see the mischief in her eyes.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“We can get a rope ladder.  It’s much better than jumping out of the window,” she said.

I felt quite foolish all of a sudden.  I looked up at my mother. 

“What…  How…?” I mumbled, and then stayed quiet.

She sat down on the couch next to me.  “Matt,” she said, “clearly, you and Julie have been... how should I put it… spending some time together?”

“We’re just hanging out.  Just friends,” I said, somewhat lamely.

“It’s good to have friends.  It’s good to hang out,” she answered.  “It’s good to be attracted to someone who is attracted to you.”

I was quiet for a few moments, vaguely strumming some chords.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked, tentatively.

My mom laughed gently.  “Matt, Julie started trying to get your attention last summer.”

I stopped playing altogether.  Was she serious?  Last summer?  I never noticed anything until a week ago.  I thought back to last summer, trying to see what I had missed.  My mom smiled gently at me as she saw the gears turning.

“Trust me,” she said, putting her hand on my arm.

“Does Mom know, too?” I asked quietly.

“Well, she saw Julie jump out the window when she was out on the beach looking for Lara.  So yes, I think she probably knows,” she said with a grin. 

My head sank at the news.  So much for being sneaky.

“But we knew before that, too,” Melissa continued. 

I winced when I started thinking of all those moments where I thought my parents didn’t know what was going on.  I didn’t feel so smart all of a sudden. 

“Is she mad?”

“Mad?” said Melissa, with a chuckle.  “No, neither of us is mad.  We were fourteen once, too,” she said, looking up and seeing an old memory for a moment.  “But,” she continued, “why did you feel the need to sneak around with Julie?”

I sat for a moment.  Why did I feel the need? 

“I don’t know,” I said.  It was the truth.

“You can trust me, Matt.”

I thought another while longer before speaking.  “I didn’t know what you and Mom would say.”

“Well, we’re more concerned about why you’re trying to hide, rather than what you’re trying to hide.  You’re not an adult yet.  If you want to start having a more serious relationship with someone, you need to act more serious as well.”

“I guess I know what you mean.  I felt childish when Julie went out the window.”

She gave me a warm, knowing smile.

“I know you haven’t had much experience with girls,” she said, “so this must all be very new and exciting.  And while it is important to you, and to us, it’s not a problem for us.  I am happy to see you with Julie.  She is someone who we care for a lot, as well.  We have known her since she was very young.  Plus, with Lara and James... hanging out together, the four of you can have fun without it being awkward for you.”

During her monologue, Sarah came out to the porch.  I put my guitar down.  She came over and sat next to me. 

“So serious out here,” she said, smiling a little.  “What’s going on?” she asked knowingly.

“Matt and I were talking about rope ladders,” said Melissa. 

My parents shared a laugh.  I didn’t think it was funny.

“I’m sorry I lied, Mom,” I said to Sarah, while I still had the courage to do so. 

“Lied?  About what?”

“When you asked if I had seen Julie.  When you knocked…  she, uh, was in the room with me,” I said, forcing out the words.  “I was desperate not to get caught, I guess.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.  It seems really dumb, now.”

“Sweetie, don’t worry about it.  I think it’s great that you and Julie are spending time together.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Julie is a great person.  She is almost like a daughter to us,” Sarah said.  Melissa nodded in agreement.

“I want you to promise me, though,” my mom continued seriously, “that you will be responsible.  Having a relationship of any kind carries responsibilities.  While some exploration is okay, you and she are only fourteen.”

I had an uncomfortable idea where this talk was going.

“In the heat of the moment, you may want to, well, explore further with Julie,” said Melissa carefully. “But you have responsibilities, both to Julie and to yourself.  If you don’t feel that you can be responsible, then you need to keep things at a less intense level, where you can be.”

I couldn’t believe I was suddenly having this conversation with both of my parents.  If I had been told a week ago that I would be in this situation, I would have laughed! 

I sat still, staring at my guitar.   When I didn’t say anything, they went on.

“Matt, what we are saying is that you have your whole life ahead of you,” continued Sarah.  “Take your time.  Don’t rush things and do something you will regret later on.  Respect yourself and respect Julie.”

I thought about the window incident, and that didn’t feel very respectful to Julie.

“I will, I promise,” I said, as much to myself as to them. 

They nodded in satisfaction.

“Okay, we’re going to bed,” said Melissa, giving me a hug.  “Don’t go to sleep too late.  Julie won’t tolerate a sleepyhead.”

“Okay,” I said.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Mom.”

I turned and gave Sarah a hug. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom,” I said.

They stood and walked to the doorway. 

“Do you still want me to get you a rope ladder?” asked Melissa, as she turned to look at me.

“No, next time she’ll come out through the house with me,” I said with confidence.

Sarah arched an eyebrow.  “Next time?”

“Well, I meant, if, well…” I stammered.

“I was just kidding, sweetie,” she said.  “Goodnight.”

I let out a long breath as they disappeared into the house.  I felt like I had been holding it in for the last ten minutes.  I lay down on the porch couch in silence, for a long time, absorbing everything I had heard.  Had Julie really liked me last summer?  I had to admit I hadn’t noticed, or paid much attention to her. 

Then again, there were lots of things I hadn’t noticed, as my parents had just proven to me quite thoroughly.

I woke up to a strange sound, in a strange place.  At first, I thought (or hoped?) that Julie was sneaking into my bedroom.  But as I brushed the sleep from my head, I realized I was still on the porch couch, and someone was trying to quietly enter the house through the porch door. 

At first I panicked, thinking it was a thief.  But then the person caught a bit of the faint light coming from the living room, and I saw that it was Lara.  She quietly closed the porch door behind her.

“Hey,” I whispered. 

Lara jumped back, and grabbed at her chest.

“Shit, Matt!  You scared the crap out of me!  What the hell are you doing there?”

“I fell asleep on the couch.  Sorry.”  I frowned at her.  “What are you doing though?  What time is it?”

“I don’t know.  Late.  Don’t tell our parents, okay?”

“Of course not.  You know I wouldn’t,” I said.

“Cool.”  Lara came over and sat on the couch, turning on a small light.  She let out a breath.

“So what were you doing?” I asked again, though I had a suspicion when I smelled the alcohol on her breath.

“Me and James were hanging out on the beach.”

 “I thought you were reading,” I said.

“I was.  After they went to bed I snuck out to the beach to meet him.  I didn’t even see you sleeping here when I went out.”

And I thought my deal with Julie had been risky!

 “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” I said earnestly.

“It’s all right.  I just thought you were Mom for a second.  Freaked me out!”

We sat in silence for a while.  Finally, Lara spoke.

“So, what’s up with you and Julie?  I thought she was with you this afternoon, and that you were in your room together.”

“She was with me,” I confirmed.

“But, she went home?  When?  I didn’t see her leave.  She didn’t grab her beach stuff or anything.”

“Mom saw her leave.”

“What are you talking about?  Didn’t she ask you if Julie was coming to dinner…?  I’m confused.”

I laughed quietly, but didn’t answer her.

“Matt!  What’s so funny?” she said, hitting my arm.  “Why are you being weird?”

“Mom was pretending to not have seen her leave.”

“What?  Why?”

“She was teasing me.”

“You’re not making any sense!  Why would Mom tease you, if she saw Julie...?”  Lara trailed off. 

I waited.

“Oh.  The window story was partly true, wasn’t it?” she asked.

“Yeah.  When Mom went out looking for you before dinner, she saw Julie jump out of my window.”

“Why didn’t you just walk out through the hallway, like normal people?” she asked, frowning at me.

“Because it would have been obvious what we were up to.”

“Like it wasn’t obvious?  It’s not a big deal.”

“Then why are you sneaking out at night?” I asked pointedly.

Lara rolled her eyes.  “All right, fine.  So what happened?”

I briefly recounted my conversation with our parents.

“They seemed pretty cool about it, in the end,” I said when I finished.

“Yeah, really.  I hope they’re like that with me if they find out about me and James.”

I laughed.

“What now?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing.” I said. 

Lara looked at me seriously, gripping my arm.  “You don’t think they suspect I’ve been sneaking out, do you?”

I didn’t know that, but I wasn’t going to underestimate my parents, right after being schooled by them on what they knew and didn’t know.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “but they definitely know you and James are up to something.”

“Really?  Are you sure?”

“Yeah.  I wouldn’t worry about it…  Although sneaking out at night might not go over so well if they find out.”

“Yeah.  I better be more careful,” she said thoughtfully.

I was about to suggest stopping the practice, but that seemed like a motherly thing to say.  I kept quiet.

We sat in silence, as Lara absorbed what I had told her.  A light came on in the kitchen and snapped us out of our trance.  We sat still, wondering if whoever it was would see our porch light.

“Matt? Lara?” asked Melissa, peeking through the doorway.

“Hi, Mom.”

“What’s going on?  It’s two in the morning!”

“Lara and I were talking after you went to bed, and then we fell asleep on the couch.  Everything’s fine,” I said.

“Okay, but you two need to go to bed!  It’s late.  Goodnight.” 

She went back to her room.

“Thanks for covering for me,” Lara said as we stood up.

“No problem.”

She gave me a tight hug, and we went back into the house to sleep.

Forward to Chapter 3

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