Looking Through The Lens

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Chapter 20

Back Home

After lunch I went into town to buy condoms, since Heather was helping her Mom with dinner.  Armed with a twenty and some nerves, I tied my bike to a lamppost down the street from the drugstore.  I sat on a nearby bench for a while, wondering what the big deal was.

There was none.  I didn’t know almost anyone in Montauk.  And so what if I was buying condoms?  I looked a little older than fifteen anyway.  Hopefully.

When I walked into the drugstore, there were only a few people browsing.  I found the area I needed quickly, and settled on a six-pack. 

As I walked to the front register, I paused.  I was leaving in five days.  Heather said my life was going to get much more exciting.  Six divided by five...

Armed now with two twelve packs and a twenty (and still the nerves), I walked to the front.  The man behind the counter made no strange faces or extraordinary comments as he rung me up.  There was no question of my age, or why I needed the condoms.  Even my old health teacher Mr. Quigley didn’t return from the dead to scold me, as I had been half expecting.

It was so easy!

“Hey, Matt!”

I froze for a moment.  I didn’t recognize the male voice.  Must be another Matt.

“Matt?” the voice said behind me now.

It was Bill, Heather’s ex-boyfriend, holding a box of aspirin.  I felt the heat spread across my face as he glanced at the pharmacist who was bagging my purchase. 

“How’s it going?” he said with a smile.

“Good, good.”

I felt like I was beet red.  I tried to stay calm.

“How are things with Heather?”

I frowned.  His tone was friendly, too friendly considering he had been her boyfriend just a few days ago.

“Um, good.”

He nodded.  “Cool.  Treat her well, huh?” he said.

I nodded slightly.  The pharmacist passed me the bag and my change as Bill stepped up and put the aspirin and some money on the counter.

“I’ll see you later,” I said awkwardly.

“Later on,” he replied.

As I walked to my bike, I wondered if he was going to come out and start a fight, but he didn’t.  It took the whole ride home for me to feel calm again.

“Twenty-four!!?”  Heather let out a long and loud laugh on the other end of the phone.

“What!!” I said defensively when I heard her put the phone near her ear again.

“Aren’t we hopeful!”

“Well, I didn’t want to be going there every day.”

“I know, it’s just funny.”

“Next time you can go get them then,” I said petulantly.

“No, I’m just giving you a hard time, because that’s so cute.”

“Whatever,” I said.

“Twenty-four.  Heh heh.”

“How’s dinner going?” I asked, trying to change the topic. 

Heather wasn’t swayed though.  “Do you really think we can get through twenty-four before you leave?” she said.  Her tone had changed to being a little more suggestive.

“I didn’t buy them all for this week.”

“Oh, I forgot, you need them for your girlfriends at home too.”

“No, don’t be ridiculous.  But you are coming to visit, right?  It won’t be as easy to get them where I live.”

“Alright, that makes sense, I guess.  Well, I do need to get back to work.  See you in a few hours,” Heather said.

She sent a kiss through the phone, and then she was gone.

“Twenty-four!?” Lara exclaimed.  Her reaction was just like Heather’s.  I calmly waited for her laughing to subside, brow arched.

“You can use them too, if you want,” I offered.  “They’re in my book bag.”

“Matt, if you haven’t noticed by now, I should let you know that I don’t have a penis.”

“For James, Lara, for James,” I said, exasperated.  I floated closer to her as a wave pushed on me.

“I know!”  She splashed me with some water, but I didn’t return the fight.

“So what’s up?” I asked.

“With...?”

“You said you needed to talk.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Well?” I said, after a pause.

“This isn’t the moment.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t feel like talking about it now.”

“Alright.  Can you at least give me a hint?”

“Let’s go inside, then.  The waves are too rough to have a serious conversation.”

“Okay.”

I followed Lara up the beach.  The three women and Hans were coming down the porch steps.

“What are your plans for dinner, sweetie?” Melissa asked Lara.

“I don’t know.”

“We’re thinking of eating down on the wharf,” Sarah said.

“Hey,” I protested, “without me?”  I loved eating there.

“Well, if you’d rather that than eat at Heather’s, you are welcome to come too,” Melissa offered, her eyes impish.  When I returned only a smile, she went on.  “Do you want to come, Lara?”

“We’re thinking of walking into town now and then going to the restaurant,” Sarah added.

“What time will you be there?” Lara asked.

“In an hour or so, we’re going to walk the beach a bit first.”

“Um... I think I’ll just stay home and read,” Lara said.  I looked at her, surprised.  Lara loved eating at the wharf as much as I did.

“Sure?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, I’m kind of tired.”

“Okay, there’s some food in the fridge from last night, if you want.”

“That’ll be fine.”

The adults set off after wishing me a fun time at Heather’s.

When we got inside the house, Lara stripped and went straight for the shower to wash off.  I followed, and we soon were under the cool water, sand and salt running along the tub basin and into the drain.

“So I’m kind of jealous,” Lara said suddenly.  She wiped the water from her eyes and looked at me.

“Jealous?”  I frowned.  “Of what?”

“Of you.  Of Heather.”  Lara looked down at her feet.

I stood dumbfounded for a moment.  “What are you talking about?”

Lara shrugged.  “I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

My mind masticated the sudden whirl of thoughts going through my head, but nothing settled into place, so I didn’t speak.

“I’m not really jealous,” she said, although I could tell it was an attempt to retreat from the conversation.  I forced myself to think clearly.

If anything, I was a little jealous of her!  After all, she’d had such an easy relationship with James.  None of the heartache I had gone through with Julie, and indeed even none of the agony I’d suffered with Heather before a few days ago.  And they seemed to have sex at every opportunity.  What was she jealous about?

“Lara, tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t know.  I guess that I wish I had what you and Heather have.”

“Which is?”

“You are in love.”

I opened my mouth and started to say something, before her words registered.

“You are, Matt,” she said.  “You have loved her forever.  And now you are with her.”

“What about James?” I asked, avoiding a response to her observation.

“What about him,” she shrugged.  “It’s just sex with him.  And even that isn’t always that great.”

“Why?”

“He’s done so fast, and I haven’t even started to get really excited.”

“So do it again, then.”

“He usually can’t get up again for a while.  But it doesn’t really matter.  I don’t feel any love for him.  I thought... I thought when I got back this year I felt differently, but it’s the same as last year.  It’s just a summer fling.”

I wasn’t sure what to say.  I didn’t have any reason to believe James and she were meant for each other, so there was no reason to try and convince her of it.

“So you want to find someone to love?” I asked.

She nodded.  “It’s hard.”

“You’re just fifteen,” I reminded her.

“So are you.  That’s why I’m jealous.  You are so lucky.”

“I guess.  Well, who do you like at school?  There’s at least a hundred guys at our high school.  And actually, another hundred girls.”

“I don’t know.  You know how guys are.  Some are boring.  Some are assholes.”

I sighed.  “I was an asshole for a while last year, though.”

Lara looked at me seriously.  “Hmm.  But that was different.  You just went through an asshole phase.  Some of those guys are just assholes, period.”

“Well, maybe,” I agreed.  “But isn’t there anyone you know that you feel some connection with?”

Lara just watched me, breathing slowly.  For a long time we just held each other’s stare.  The water continued to spray the wall of the shower. 

I knew what she was thinking.  She never said the word, but I knew.

Lara turned her eyes away first.  “I felt that way with Julie,” she said, pushing on the shower curtain and sitting on the side of the tub.  I sat next to her.

“But I don’t know how real it is either,” she continued.  “I’ve known her forever.  Things got weird a little last summer.  I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying that I think she drifted away and then kind of broke our trust.”

“By not telling me about the two of you?” I asked softly.

“Yeah.”

“Did you call her?”

“No, but maybe I will now.”

“I heard she is back with the dude she was with earlier this year,” I said.

“Brian?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“But still, she said she didn’t like him,” I offered.  “Maybe she’s just with him to get back at me, or something.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“No, actually.  I haven’t seen her since I ended it.  I’m kind of surprised.”

“Why?” Lara asked.

“I don’t know, I expected her to try and get back with me.”

Lara nodded.

“You should call her, though,” I said.  “But what about James?”

Lara sighed.  “I don’t know.  When I’m with him I have fun, but when I’m not, I’m kind of not really thinking of him.  I mean, I don’t even feel like hanging out with him tonight, even though it looks like I’ll have the house to myself for a little while.”

“So you’re bored with him?”

“I want something else.”

“Call Julie,” I suggested, ignoring her look.

Lara laughed slightly.

“At least see where you stand with her,” I added. 

Lara stood.  “Alright, I’ll call Julie.”

“Things will work out,” I said, rising beside her.  Suddenly I had a thought.  “Hey.  What about Peter?”

“Your band mate?” Lara asked.

“Yeah.  He’s not an asshole.”

“He’s quiet.  I don’t really know him.  Why do you say?”

“Well, he’d kill me if I told you, but he’s had a crush on you for a long time.”

“Peter?  Really?  Are you sure?  He never even talks to me.”

“Alright, so he is quiet with people he doesn’t know.  But he’s cool.”

“I never thought of him in that way,” Lara admitted.

“Well, it’s just a possibility.”

I didn’t think Peter would ever act on his feelings, so maybe Lara could give him a little nudge.  I liked Peter, and maybe it would be a good, if unlikely match.

“What time are you leaving?” Lara asked, as we dried off.

“Soon.  I have to pick up some photos in town on the way to Heather’s.”

“Alright, I’m going to call Julie.”

“Good luck,” I said.

I was a little nervous when I knocked on the door to Heather’s house.  Not because of the upcoming dinner with her parents, but rather because of the bunch of roses I had in my hand.

The door opened with a little squeak.

“Oh, Matt, are those for me?”

“Um... sure.”

Heather’s Mom’s eyes glinted in the early evening light. 

“Come in, Heather is running late.  She’ll be out shortly.”

“I thought she was never late!” I said.

Mairead gave me a funny face and shook her head.  “I see she’s misled you, then.”

I laughed with her as we went into the house.  Aongus greeted me warmly, and then Heather rushed into the living room. 

“You’re late,” I said, grinning.

“I’m never late, you’re just early.”

I didn’t even bother to check my watch, and instead I handed her the flowers.  Heather smiled beautifully and thanked me sweetly.

“Hungry?” she asked, still admiring and sniffing her flowers.

“Starved,” I said.

“Come, let’s sit, then,” Aongus offered.

The aromas from the kitchen were wonderful, and they grew stronger as we walked the short hallway and into the dining room.  I was looking forward to the meal almost as much as to the dessert.

Heather and I were sprawled on the porch, still trying to digest dinner.  I was stuffed. 

“That striped bass was incredible,” I said for what seemed the tenth time that evening.

“It was,” Heather said.  “My Dad does know how to cook fish.”

“So you said that you weren’t much of a cook, but tonight seemed pretty good to me.”

“Well, mostly I helped my parents.”

“Mm.  Well, it was awesome.  I’m too full to even move.”

“You ate a lot,” Heather agreed.

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Shouldn’t you go to bed too?”

“Are you suggesting a plan?” Heather said shyly.

“Your parents would love that,” I said sarcastically.

“They’re pretty relaxed about things like that.”

“So I can sleep over in your bed?”

“Well, maybe not that relaxed,” Heather amended with a chuckle.

“Let’s just lay here for a while.  I feel like a whale.”

“Hey, did you get the pictures?” Heather asked suddenly.

“Oh, yeah!  But they’re inside.”

“How did that one picture come out?”

“I didn’t look at them yet.”  Then I realized which one she meant.  “I didn’t develop that roll!” I said.

“Why not?”

“I’d get arrested.  Do you want to see them?”

“Maybe later,” she said, feeling lazy herself.  “By the way, did you bring anything else?” she said suggestively.

“Yeah, I went to the drugstore,” I said, patting my pocket.  “Oh, and I ran into Bill there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  He was really... nice to me.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Heather said.

I looked at her with a frown.  “Weren’t you his girlfriend just a week ago?”

“I’d say we were more friends who just happened to hook up for a little while.”

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

“The difference is that we weren’t really committed to each other.”

“Oh.  Alright.”

“Bill is really nice.  He knows all about you,” she said.

“And he doesn’t mind?”

“Not really.  He’s going to college in a few weeks.  I wouldn’t want to do a long distance relationship with him.”

“What about me?”

“Bill’s going to California.  If you lived in California, things would be different too.”  Heather eyed me.  “Maybe.  But it doesn’t matter.  You live much closer.”

Heather curled up against me.  “Besides,” she continued, “you’re the one I want to be with.”

“Mm.  Me too.”

“You want to be with yourself too?” she asked.

“No, you know what I meant.”

“I know, I was just teasing.”

The porch door creaked open.

“Well, work won’t wait in the morning, so goodnight!” Aongus said, as he and Mairead peeked out of the house. 

“Goodnight!” we echoed.

Her parents left the kitchen light on which set the porch aglow with faint yellow light.

“Do you need to turn in?” I asked.

“Nah.  I don’t work until noon tomorrow.”  Heather smiled at me.

We sat together for a long time, content.

“What time is it?” Heather asked. 

“Um, looks like midnight,” I said, checking my watch in the dim light from the kitchen.  “I think I fell asleep.”

“Me too,” she said.  “Are you still feeling full?”

“No, not really.”  I yawned and tried to clear the sleep from my eyes.

“It’s time,” Heather said softly.

“Yeah, I should get going,” I agreed reluctantly.

“I’ll be right back.”

Heather hopped off the couch and went into the house.  The kitchen light went off, leaving the porch even more dimly lit by the almost-full moon. 

Heather didn’t return immediately, and I wondered if she was getting the pictures, or maybe going to the bathroom. 

I felt like I was in a dream.  The silver light made the weathered grey paint of the porch shimmer.  The sound of wind and surf was louder than it ever seemed, so much so that I stood up at the rail and looked out at the water.  It looked to be normal, even though I expected to see giant waves.  My senses just seemed unusually heightened.  The dark water glinted as it sloshed relentlessly against the light sand.  Fishing boat lights dotted the horizon like a haphazard necklace.  And the warm night air pushed gently across my face.

I had my eyes closed when the wind became more real on my neck.  For a moment I started to reach a hand up, and then the wind turned into lips, and then into hands wrapped around my front.

Her return to the porch was unheard because she had left her shoes off.  When I turned to look at Heather, I paused.  She had changed into a short sundress, or perhaps moon-dress, the way it was illuminated.

Heather pulled me to her, keeping her eyes locked on mine.  Our lips met.  We both were quiet, barely breathing, and exploring the connection of our mouths.

With a silent finger to her lips, she backed up towards the couch.  I followed, suddenly aware of what she wanted. 

This was it.  I felt a flutter of nerves, but they quickly disappeared.  By the moment, the details of everything around me seemed to saturate.  The flounce of her hem, waving in the slight breeze, called to me.  I caught the slight scent of peach as it left her chest. 

I wanted to take everything in, remember this moment forever.

Finally I looked at Heather, standing expectantly before me.  Her face was open, beautiful, and full of invitation.  Her penetrating look made me reach out and steady myself on the rail.  

Her eyes still gleamed even in the moonlight.  They were truly a window into her thoughts right now.  She was taking in the moment as well. 

When I pulled her into another kiss, I ran my hands freely over her back, down over her butt, and up her curvy waist.  The sundress she had chosen was so smooth, and clung so well to her body that it felt like it was almost not there.

It took very little time for both of us to become uncontrollably aroused.  Our kissing progressed from delicate to spirited and our passion filled the space around us. 

Heather spun me around and pushed me down onto the couch.  She undid the button on my shorts, and pulled my clothes down around my thighs. 

As I started to push them down further, she stopped me and pointed upstairs to where I presumed her parents slept.  I nodded, suddenly remembering where we were.

I pulled a condom out of my rumpled pocket, and again Heather stopped me as I went to tear it open.  She took it from me and set it aside on the couch.  Then she climbed onto me, planting her lips onto mine. 

My hands wandered under her dress, over the smooth skin of her thighs and onto her lower back, and then I realized why she had changed.  She was nude underneath.

I will never forget what she did next.  She took my face with her two hands, looking at me with burning eyes.  Her chest was heaving, causing her face to sway slightly before me.  Slowly she lowered her body.  It was excruciatingly slow.  She never took her hands off my cheeks or her eyes off of mine.  She watched me like her life depended on keeping eye contact with me. 

Both of us caught our breath as we first touched down underneath her dress.  Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she slowly continued to lower herself.  Deeper and deeper she let me in.  Each millimeter was a like a whole lifetime of intense feeling. 

When she had completely taken me to the end, her eyes shut with a flutter of lashes and her throat let out a tiny echo of those sounds she had made in my room that morning.

She slowly sat up straighter, never letting go of my face.  She moved her hips slightly, allowing me to feel her differently inside.  Such warmth, and such life flowed between us.  The only movement I felt was her squeezing me slightly, which I returned with a pulse.

From her hands, rings of pleasure wrapped and flowed around my head, and they traveled down to my middle and went back into Heather.  I could have stayed there all night.  It was like being in the middle of a continuously stretched climax. 

From Heather’s breathing I could tell she was as ecstatic as I was.  I dared not move.

But eventually Heather moved forward, pulling herself off of me.  Her eyes opened, and the transcendent look of desire that had filled her eyes as I entered her was now growing more playful. 

I quickly put on the condom as she kneeled aside me.  No sooner had I unrolled it to the base, she returned to her position on my lap. 

Again she lowered herself, and again we tightened at the feeling, but now she began to move on me.  She went a little lower each time.  At first we kissed almost carefully, lips perfectly on lips.  As Heather began lowering herself fully onto me, we grew distracted from the kissing.  Her head sunk to my neck, absently latching onto me there with her lips.  At other times she simply tried to remember to breath. 

I wondered how she was controlling her voice.  She only let out faint moans and gasps.  From her morning vocalizations, I was worried about being on her parents porch.  I mean, I was ready to scream from the intensity of feeling that was building in me.  How she was controlling it was beyond me. 

It didn’t matter.  A few inches from my ear, each little breath and each little murmur was a little symphony of pleasure.  I could feel every quiver of her lip, every flutter of her eyelashes on my neck. 

Almost trancelike, Heather continued to move in perfect rhythm.  Up until now, I had been staying perfectly still, perfectly taut.  Now I started moving to meet her down thrusts. 

Instantly her breathing changed.  I know I had turned the course of her pleasure for the better.  Her voice started getting a little louder, and I smiled slightly.

Our hips banged against each other, slowly disheveling the fabric of her dress.  Any caution Heather had been maintaining about getting caught was clearly gone now, as she suddenly sat up and peeled the dress over her head in one fluid motion.  As her beautifully curvy body revealed itself in the silvery light, I almost lost control of my impending climax.  No sooner had the dress landed on the cushion beside us, Heather placed her hands on my chest and began bouncing herself almost violently against me.  I watched enraptured as the silhouette of my penis appeared and disappeared as she impaled herself on it over and over. 

It was taking every bit of reserve I had to keep from going over the edge.  My senses were overflowing. 

“Hurry,” she said, with barely audible voice.

I suddenly realized that she was in the middle of a long wave of orgasm.  I’m not exactly sure at what point Heather had started to come.  Perhaps it had been when I first entered her, even.

With that simple command, I let go of the holds, and I sat up to meet her body.  As I clasped her to me, I unleashed my climax.  Her body tensed up and shuddered deeply at that same moment, the final little peak riding above her continuous wave.

I don’t remember what happened for the next few moments.  My vision seemed to have turned spotty and dim.  I was vaguely aware of Heather slowing her hips, as our rhythm wound down. 

Then Heather was lying on me, and I was pressed back against the couch again.  The surf and wind returned from wherever they had retreated to.

“Oh my god,” she said.

I smiled.  “Yeah,” I murmured in agreement.

“Can we stay here forever?” she asked.

“Sure.”

I clasped her soft nude figure to me, wondering how I had gotten so lucky.  Lara was right. 

We did stay there for a long time.  And while I did have to go home eventually, in my memories I am still with Heather on that night, and will be there forever.

Forward to Chapter 21

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