The Rapina Feedback Forum

2007

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date = 01/03/07
nickname = redbarron77
comments = Excellent work! Well worth the wait, and makes me want more. :)

Keep up the good work, and thanks!

date = 01/08/07
nickname = Gime
comments = WOW an update.
Although the chapters come very far apart, they are always very very long

Thanks I thought the story had been abandoned.

date = 12/27/06
nickname = Herstal
comments = I noticed some duplicated words at the end of the chapter you just posted. You'll spot them easily in the last 2 pages of the story. Glad to see a post after so long without updates. Hopefully the next one will be out shortly as well. 

date = 01/09/07
nickname = akxia
comments = Hi !
You asked for a proofreader and well I have done a lot of it but in french ... event if i'm quite good in english ... if you wish
the only problem that I see is that I'm not sure i'm good enought in english grammar ...

you didn't start 2007 forum ?

Ps : I Love your work ! :)

date = 01/10/07

nickname = sb

comments = I've read the latest chapter a number of times now (4 or 5, I'd guess). Your writing continues to improve and the story grows more intriguing -- this latest chapter felt a bit slower than previous ones since many of the things dealt with weren't really new and the things that were new tended to be more along the lines of information than action. Still, the chapter clearly laid a lot of groundwork for more interesting developments and that's certainly important!

I'm looking forward to the next one!

date = 01/10/07
nickname = sb
comments = I've read the latest chapter a number of times now (4 or 5, I'd guess). Your writing continues to improve and the story grows more intriguing -- this latest chapter felt a bit slower than previous ones since many of the things dealt with weren't really new and the things that were new tended to be more along the lines of information than action. Still, the chapter clearly laid a lot of groundwork for more interesting developments and that's certainly important!
I'm looking forward to the next one!

date = 01/19/07
nickname = Dragon's Requiem
comments = First off, I love your story. Someone else mentioned it as well, but I really like the fact that this is an intriguing swashbuckling story with a twist. The first time i read it, I just barely could rip myself away from my screen, at least so I could get some sleep. Luckily it was a friday-evening, so I could finish reading it the next day.
Another great point is that, while Rapina grows stronger over time, she isn't losing sight of her humanity and retains her own personal weaknesses, thus making her a person rather then a coat-rack for her various powers.

Now onto another matter before I make your head pop... ;)
In the prayer in chapter 58 some of the old-speak spelling slipped through the various editing stages, where a number of thee's got reduced to the's.

For now I'll return to lurking in the shadows while anticipating the following chapters and find out what you have in store for our beloved, ravenous heroine.

Best wishes to you and yours.

date = 01/23/07
nickname = G.R.D.
comments = 
It's been awhile since I came around here.

Forgetting for a couple months seems to be a good idea, what have I juste found? A new chapter for me to read, and quite a beautiful one. Especially the end. :)

I hope you keep up with this story that I love, and go on with the revelations.

Take your time!
G.R.D.

date = 01/24/07
nickname = Goi
comments = God Damn!! Thanks for the new chapter, it rocks and please hurry with the next, it's a great story and i'm sure i speak for many when i tell you we love to read it!

date = 02/06/07
nickname = Dead
comments = Hi!

I just read Rapina from start to finish over a few days. I was so enthralled I slept too little and am now exhausted. I think Rapina is one of the top 5% free fantasy stories on the net and I have read quite a few of them.

I really can't wait for the next chapter so I'll speculate a little bit and if you see something you like, you can just smile like Mona Lisa and say it was your idea all along.

I wonder when Charles is going to put it all together, because 1) he knows about the pirate "dream" 2) Bellany has said she himself is not sure if she is really Bellany 3) He has investigated Brianna Barter. 3) he dates Brunhilda who has met Brianna/Valkura.

I wouldn't put it past the Jordells to interfere in someway with Bellanys keeping her magic secret. They must at least suspect that Bellany could become a caster. Though if they still question her loyalties, that might slow them down. Also if I remember correctly Jamie knows 1) Starbuck saved Bellanys life 2) Bellany fucks Starbuck, so he might guess fucking Starbuck saved Bellanys life. Also if I were Jamie I would lay another 'cunning trap' for Bellany conserning her pirate fantasy.

As you have already revealed Bellany will first have to learn some more. During the learning I would imagine that Bellany's secret will be revealed to some of or all of Charles, Jamie, Brunhilda and Lady&Lord Jordell. Bellany might also be important as a spy. After the learning one possibility is that something radical hapens like open war between Avengene & allies and ollowers of Mortaebilius. Another possibility is that Bellany's secret becomes open knowlege and thus causes Avengene to show its theet. Regardless my guess is that Bellany won't leave - at least for long, but instead becomes important part of the political balance. She might change back to Sarina though. It would be a waste to let the situation unfold without Sarina there to tinker with it.

How's the next chapter going? I sounded like you had been workin on it even when Nimbus wasn't posted yet. I can't wait X-)

date = 13.02.07
nickname = Icekiss
comments = I read the Chronicles of Rapina for the first time a few days ago. It basically kept me reading for two days straight. Very, very good story.
Now just with this bit of praise I would not have bothered commenting. But you said that you enjoyed conjecture on the part of your readers. Well, I speculated what Rapina could achieve with her powers, and had something of an epiphany:
She is now 'the life of death'. I am not sure what exactly you mean by that, but I guess something along the lines of avatar of both Mortaebius and Amorra. More to the point, it means that Amorra is considered to be something of an opposite to Mortaebius, the life to his death. But they are opposites that need and complement each other, and as gods, are on fairly friendly terms (Or else they wouldn't have arranged for Rapina to serve them both).
Now my first thought, even before I considered this, was that Rapina has enormous advantages as a necromancer. The biggest weakness of necromancers is that people distrust them, meaning that they have many enemies, few living allies, and are thus very vulnerable at day. It's the reasons they keep the locations of their hideouts secret, and in many cases far from human settlement. Thane explained those things within the story to Rapina.
But Rapina has several unique advantages. The first is her beauty, and her natural charisma, which makes most people instinctively like her (well, at least the males). Quite the opposite to your usual necromancer with a skeletal hand.
And then there is her ability to influence people when she has an orgasm. Never mind the fact that having sex with her makes people plenty grateful all on its own, and that she does _alot_ of that.
And lastly, she has an aptitude for telepathic spells (at least so far she didn't appear to have problems mastering them, and with her natural talents, she should be predisposed to them).
All of those things taken together should make it very very easy for her (especially considering that she is a necromancer) to gain loyal retainers.

Okay, now to use those possibilities, I'll give a rough outline of how the story could go:
Both Amorra and Mortaebius have greater plans then just beating the Vindicator back. It's just a first, though important step. And of course, they never tell their plans to anyone (not even the reader), it all looks like free decisions by Rapina, but they are gods, after all.
The next big change in the story (there have after all already been a few) is kicked of by what just happened at the end of chapter 65. Rapina swears to take revenge on Avengene for killing her family in addition to everything else they did. She decides that directing the Norwit Barony would be helpful, but that she will need Charles help to do that.
She learns to read surface thoughts at a distance, then arranges to meet with Charles. She tells him everything, while carefully monitoring his thoughts to ensure he will stay her ally. He asks what she intends to do, and she says that if he agrees, she would like to get Norwit independent from Avengene, that this would most likely result in Avengene attacking, but that their combined forces could beat them, if they prepare carfully. He agrees to help plan in detail, and then decide based upon the results of that. (Rapina knows that thanks to her abilities, Charles will never pose a problem.)
Rapina learns a spell to communicate with the gods, and uses it to ask Mortaebius and Amorra whether she may establish a religion worshipping both of them in concert. They approve. (They have in fact steered her into that direction all along, but don't tell her [or us readers] that. It's the reason the lust spirit got in contact with high shaman T'zar.)
Rapina recontacts Thane after learning graveyard mists, and secures his help (Mortaebius promises to reward him for it). Most of his scribes get set to copying books of basic education.
From now on, Rapina uses part of her time to write a book which will form the basis of the new religion, basically dividing up which of the two gods will be worshipped for what, writing the modified rituals, and the ones that worship both at once, along with the philosophy behind the religion (basic ying and yang, and freedom of thought and action).
She arranges clandestine meetings with the priest of Amorra to further educate her about that religion. She also starts to learn the basic animation spells.
Time moves on, until the message reaches them that baron Norwit has fallen while campaigning. Charles and Rapina ride back to Norwit keep, so that Charles can take over the barony. After that, they ride to inspect the various towns, villages and fortifications of the barony. Rapina's primary mission is to find out which men are more loyal to Avengene then to Norwit.
Rapina finishes the book on the new religion, and sets undead scribes to copying it. Rapina and Charles work in the barony to improve fortifications and their military, to institute classes in reading and writing and other basic education for everyone, and to get trusted men into those positions held by retainers of Avengine. Rapina also puts skeletons to hollowing out part of a mountain, which is to become her fortress.
After Charles and Rapina are satisfied that they have made sufficient progress towards those goals, they organize for festivities in Norwit Keep to which all leaders within the barony are to come. Rapine gives a speech in which she spindoctors the story that her year with the orcs was a test of her strength by the gods, and that she received a revelation after the shamanic spell hit her. She reveals that she has become the life of death, and was given the mission by Mortaebius and Amorra to show people that the two belong together.
Charles tells what he has found out about the priests of Avengene, and reminds people of the shame of having to obey Avengene and their priests. He declares that Norwit will forthwith be an independent barony again (was it?), and that the encouraged religion will be Mortaebius Amorra (name of religion:cycle of life?), but that freedom of religion will be granted again, with the exception of the Vindicator.
Rapina influences the retainers of Avengene that hear the speech to fall into a mindless rage and attack her and Charles, which results in those retainers being killed by the guards.
The copies of Rapina's book get distributed to the schools, order gets consolidated again. Avengene attacks, but their troops are decimated at night by Thane's undead, and at day by Charles ambushes.
After the attack is defeated, a period of peace follows, which Rapina uses to expand her castle and improve her magic skills. The new religion takes firmer hold in the barony.
Priests of Mortaebius and Amorra that are willing to follow the new rituals, and work together, are brought into the barony.
After a while, other necromancers establish a presence in the barony, since it's the only place where they aren't shunned.
Rapina starts taking apprentices, and after a while mechanical products start to emerge from her fortress (After all, a skeleton is a perpetuum mobile in this universe).
Avengene tries some yet to be determined plot to take over Norwit again. (e.g.: Corrupt one of Charles children, then try to assassinate him and Rapina.) The plot fails, Norwit attacks and conquers Avengene. We get to see the start of the integration effort.
Epilogue: Mortaebius and Amorra take a look at the marquisate of Norwit, and congratulate themselves on the results of their plan. Mortaebius says that he still can't see when Rapina will die.
(This is the first point that the reader learns that while Rapina has played everyone else, the gods have played her. But even they don't control her fully)

How's that for inspiration? :-)

I admit it's a bit rough, details like who Charles would marry, what becomes of Jordell, and what Thane has been up to by himself, are missing. But all of that could be worked out, and the outline is long enough as it is.
If you are interested in more details, just ask, and I will spindoctor them...

date = 03/03/07
nickname = Herstal
comments = So, 3.5 months have passed and no new posts. You still alive? You said you just needed minor editing to put up two new chapters and the story will move along to the next stage. Consider this a nudge. 

- Herstal

date = 03/16/2007
nickname = scooter012
comments = hey this is a great story i'm glad i found it and that you wrote it maybe one of these days you will finish it but until
then thanks for writting it...............sd

date = 03/16/07
nickname = mortimer
comments = Thank you very much for the latest chapter - as always a great read!

I am very happy that you, after all this time, still dedicate your efforts on this story, and wish you good luck and lots of fun!

Cheers,
Mortimer

date = 03/15/07
nickname = FlamesOfWind
comments = Dear Rapina,
I very much enjoyed chap 65 and impatiently wait for number 66. I hope that life is not interfering to much with writing and that you keep all of your adoring fans updated on your progress.

Sincerely,
FlamesOfWind 

date = 03/20/07
nickname = naughty
comments = Rapina,

Just wondering when the next chapter is going to go up? I thought from your post around Christmas time you had a couple more chapters ready to go? Is this not true or are you still waiting on copy-editing? Would love to see more sooner! Keep up the great work!

N.

date = 03/27/07
nickname = Jummen
comments = Hello Rapina.

You said before Christmas that you had 2 chapters almost ready.
How close is the second to being finished?

Please update the forum and let us know.

date = 03/30/07
nickname = Tux
comments = This last episode was great. With the talk of the orc campaigns going well to the north of the academy it would seem that the campaign against Bristol may come in the spring to summer.

I can't wait for the next release.

Tux

date = 04/15/07
nickname = the_scot
comments = I've not written before, because as a writer myself, I know that there are times and circumstances that get in the way of our writing. Now, it is the middle of April, 2007, and there haven't even been any forum entries for this year, nor has a 2007 forum been created. Are you OK? That is my first concern. Second, are you still writing? Do you still need some editing help?

I consider this one of my top ten stories and would really like to see it come to its proper conclusion, rather than just dying on the vine like too many other internet works. 

Rod MacLaren
The Scot

date = 4/19/2007
nickname = tc-cat
comments = I read your Rapina story, & enjoyed it alot. I wanted to know if you are going to continue writing it. Please let me know. 
Wondered if you have anymore stories.

Thankyou, TC-Cat

date = 04/22/07
nickname = Sender
comments = Just wondering if your planning on releasing any new chapters in the immiediate future.

date = 04/22/07
nickname = Herstal
comments = You really should post chapters 66 and 67, which you said were mostly finished. If there are flaws, your fans will point them out via this so you can fix them. Its been since xmas now, 4 full months, and your "almost ready, just needs a spellcheck" chapters haven't been released. I'd really like to read what happens next with Rapina. So, sound like a good idea? 

date = 04/25/07
nickname = sb
comments = I've resisted sending a comment, because I don't want to nag ... but if you're still alive, it would be *wonderful* to see a comment somewhere confirming that!
Even if it's something to the effect that, due to issues in the "real world", you're going to have to take a break from Rapina -- it would be good to know. The faint but persistent hope that flickers into being just before I check this website would love to see just about anything at this point :)

date = 05/06/07
nickname = Mr Alpha
comments = You know, you should change the note on top of the forum from "all submissions are manually posted and will take 0-5 days to appear here." to "all submissions are manually posted and will take 0-5 months to appear here."

date = 05/10/2007
nickname = Herstal
comments = Good to see some updates, though the links are just the prior chapter "Nimbus of Mortaebious". I take it you're still a little nervous of posting unfinished work rather than posting it and fixing problems via comments here. Just a matter of correcting and re-upload the story with the edited file. You may want to consider that option. You have enough fans that you'd get corrections sent. 

date = 5/10/07
nickname = wendal
comments = It is nice to know you are alive. I do not check here as much as I did because it was driving me mildly crazy, and spoiled my enjoyment of chapters. I would have offered to help edit, but unfortunately I am not good for much beyond spelling.

date = 05/16/07
nickname = JR
comments = Enjoyed the story would like to read more. the chapters 66 through 71 are the same as 65

Yes, that is because many of the new chapters have not emerged from being edited yet and have therefore not yet been posted.  They are drafted but that is all.  Chapter 66 has now been posted 5/27/07.

date = 05/20/2007
nickname = Will
comments = Hey..

Just saying, glad to see you're back, was worrying you'd disappeared off the face of the Earth :).

Eagerly await the next chapters.

Will, x.

date = 05/27/2207
nickname = a guy
comments = ohh, nice - a men against the elements theme chapter!

one thing that struck me - Lady Elaine. i seem to remember in the earlier chapters she was limited to only few areas. now it seems (without Rapina) that she can go into more areas than previously. or am i wrong?

anyway, kudos on this chapter.

Lady Elaine and the other ghosts are limited to buildings they spent a lot of time in during their lives.  For Elaine and Baladus this means the old keep that sits between the girls' and boys' building and has the following floors:

-3 Baladus' Chambers
-2 The Crypts
-1 The Dungeon
1 The Administrative Offices (connects to 2nd floor of girls' building)
2 The Library (connects to 3rd floor of girls' building)
3 The Library Stacks
4+ Headmaster Bristol's residence tower

Elaine also once jumped from the door to the library to Bellany in the hallway of the girls' building.  She could only do this because Bellany serves as an island of sorts.  The girls' building was built after Elaine's time.