I like men who have a future and women who have a past. Oscar Wilde
Mike had been through a bitter divorce when he met Darlene, not her real name. She was everything he fantasized about in those long few years of his marriage: tall, red-headed, sweet-natured, and she liked sex, actually liked it rather than submitting to it while complaining about always being tired as his wife did. It was an interesting comparison. He paid for his time with Darlene. But it was a hell of a lot cheaper than what he paid out to his ex-wife. "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less," Brendan Behan wrote.
Amy ‘met’ Mike one evening when Darlene brought him home and took him into her bedroom. Just as he had many times before when he was with Darlene, he emerged an hour later looking happy. When he saw Amy sitting at the dining room table working on her math homework, he was embarrassed. Darlene quickly escorted him out.
Darlene brought few men to their apartment. It had only been a couple of men over the years. Amy knew what her mother did, no way to really hide it from her own daughter, though she had managed for years when Amy was younger. Now that Amy was fourteen, she had figured it out on her own. Neither had really acknowledged it, it went unsaid.
"You like him, mom?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, I guess," Kathy shrugged. Darlene's real name was Kathy. Kathy, Darlene, what did it matter, but it did to Kathy. Just the idea of the men knowing her real name terrified her.
"You've only brought a few guys home. Is he good in bed?" Amy asked.
"Amy Jean!" Kathy shouted.
"Katherine Ann!" Amy mimicked her mother. They both started laughing.
"I guess so. For some reason, we just connected. It's hard to explain. I almost didn't see him again after the first time. I mean, you have to keep your personal and business life separate," Kathy said looking off at something not there, maybe something that had never been there.
"Would he be good for someone else?" Amy asked.
Kathy came back from wherever she had gone. "That's enough twenty questions. Do your homework," Kathy told her. She started fixing dinner.
Amy thought about Mike. She thought about him that night as she touched herself. She thought about him the next night and many nights after that. Kathy had her stay in the bedroom one night, but she heard Mike's voice. She thought about him that night.
It was about six when Amy answered a knock on the door. It was Mike. "Hi, is Darlene home?"
"Darlene?" Amy said confused.
"Yes, Darlene," Mike said, starting to lose confidence.
"That's a creepy name. You're Mike, right?" Amy said.
Mike was flustered now. "Yeah."
"Come on in," Amy said. Mike followed her into the living room. Amy flopped onto the couch pointing to it. Mike sat down.
"Is Darlene your sister?" Mike asked.
"I don't know any Darlene. It's only my mom and me," Amy said.
"But I was here with Darlene,” Mike said.
Amy shook her head.
Mike doubted his sanity.
“Her name is Kathy," Amy said.
"Oh,” Mike said, relieved greatly.
"You're cute,” Amy said.
"Thanks. Is Kathy home?" Mike asked.
"Nope. She's out,” Amy said.
"When is she coming home?" Mike asked.
"Soon," Amy answered.
"Oh."
"Did mom know you were coming over?" Amy asked.
"No," he said, fidgeting on the couch. "Well, she didn't exactly ask me to come. I mean, I was home and I couldn't think of anything else..."
"Lonely?" Amy asked.
He nodded.
"Me too,” Amy said.
He smiled at that.
"Want to do something?” Amy asked.
"Like what?"
She sat up, "Why don't you kiss me."
“How old are you?” he asked.
“Old enough. How old are you?”
He smiled, “Old enough.”
“See, we’re the same age,” Amy said, smiling back at him.
“I thought your mom was going to be home soon,” he said.
“Depends on how you define soon. She has appointments till two in the morning.”
“Oh,” Mike said obviously disappointed.
“What am I, chopped liver?” Amy asked. She had heard that on an old time radio show that the local public radio station was reprising. It was actually funny to Amy, those old time shows.
Mike couldn’t help but laugh. “No. But Darlene would kill me…”
“There’s no Darlene,” Amy scolded him.
“Oh, yeah. Kathy would kill me and I kind of like her,” Mike said.
“Really? You like her?” Amy asked. Mike nodded, slightly embarrassed. Amy bounced up to her knees on the couch, then in one fluid motion she straddled Mike, her knees on both sides of him, her groin pressed hard against his, her arms went round his neck. “Mike, I decided that you’re going to be my first lover.”
“Do I get a say in the matter?” he asked.
She shook her head, her shiny brunette hair swishing back and forth like a brown waterfall. “Nope. I decided and that’s final. Now, show me why mom thinks you’re so good in bed.”
“Your mom thinks I’m good in bed?” Mike asked, surprised and pleased that a professional woman who would have lots of experience would think he was good.
“That’s the last time you mention her. From now on, you can only talk about me. This is my first time,” she said.
“Listen… Wait, I don’t even know your name,” he said.
“Amy,” she smiled sweetly.
Mike started again, “Listen, Amy. You’re pretty but I just don’t think it would be right, I mean, with me seeing your mom and all.”
“Mike, would you do me a favor then?” He nodded. “I just want to feel a little of what it’s like. Would you just kiss me and maybe touch my… breasts?” Amy asked. Mike hesitated. “Just one nice kiss,” Amy pleaded.
‘What the hell. One kiss,’ Mike thought. One kiss… He should have known better but with a little cutie crawling into your lap, rational thought sometimes gets all mixed up. He leaned forward and kissed her. She pressed back, their lips parted and tongues swirled. Amy put her all into it. Mike felt himself getting excited, his cock swelled as Amy ground against him.
“Touch me,” she begged, then pressed her lips back to his, kissing him fervently.
His hand came up and pressed against her. She was wearing a tight knit top that molded to her body like a second skin. His hand cupped her small well formed tit. He felt the nipple harden pressing into his palm. Amy moaned in acknowledgement of his exploration. His hand, all of its own volition, wandered over and cupped her other tit, feeling the nipple grow. His cock was fully hard now just like Amy’s nipples. The heat of Amy’s groin was working through his shorts. Almost by instinct, his hand went below and cupped her pussy, the heat and dampness of her crotch was transmitted straight to his libido. His cock bounced in desire to enter that hot tunnel of love.
His other hand came up and fondled her tits while the one hand continued massaging her pussy. Her kisses turned feverish, desire overwhelming the inexperienced girl. As he pulled back, she whispered, “Please…” It was a primal plea and Mike’s body answered before his mind could even process the request rationally. He turned and pressed her back onto the couch, his groin pressed against hers.
It was way too late for rational thoughts for Mike. His being was caught up in the instinct to mate, the most powerful instinct of man.
Clothes were flung about the floor. Amy teased and begged Mike to make her a woman. Soon they were naked, Amy kneeling on the couch daring Mike to come take her, her nipples hard and her pussy barely dusted with almost invisible hair. Mike pressed her back on the couch and crawled between her legs. There was no need for foreplay, both needed each other for completion. His cock found her pussy, he nudged aside her labia, then plunged into the girl.
She gasped in surprise, then moaned in pleasure. Mike closed his eyes and gloried in the feeling of his cock sinking into Amy. Her hot pussy clamped onto him and her muscles milked at his shaft. He began thrusting, hard and fast into her.
Amy had never felt anything like this in her life. She had seen people having sex, but seeing hadn’t prepared for how it overwhelmed the senses, blotting out everything except the sex, the crashing of bodies together, shaft piercing pussy, clitoris rubbing along his cock, waves of desire pouring from her center to annihilate everything else.
Their passions were too intense for this to last long. Mike felt it building deeply and tried vainly to hold back, to wait… It wasn’t to be. His cum exploded from his balls and poured into Amy. Euphoria filled Mike.
Amy heard Mike grunting, then felt the heat and wetness of his cum filling her. It was enough to send her to her first real orgasm. She moaned and bucked as sexual euphoria filled her.
They collapsed onto the sofa, softly touching each other.
The fling with Amy was the catalyst in Mike’s mind. Surprisingly, it made him more sure that he wanted Kathy, permanently. Maybe it shouldn’t have worked that way. Maybe he should have felt guilty and fled from confronting his mistake. He didn’t.
The next day he called Kathy and had her meet him for dinner. Kathy felt something was screwy but she had come to trust Mike. They were seated and had a drink, talking like old friends, when Mike brought out the little black box.
Kathy froze, staring at it. Mike didn’t even open it. There it sat, a splash of black velvet on an expanse of pure white. Kathy’s fingers trembled and an unshed tear was in her eye. “Mike, I can’t…”
“Sure you can. All you have to do is decide to pick it up,” he said. She looked at the box knowing her future was in that box and trying to leave the past. Mike helped, “The only thing I ask is that you leave the business.”
“You think I like doing this?” she asked.
“No, I don’t. I just said that is my only demand. You don’t ever have to talk about it, tell me about it, justify it, nothing. As far as I’m concerned, from today forward it is just you and me.”
“But you can’t forget, you’ll always see me as a…” Kathy said.
His voice steely, cutting through the air and chopping that sentence off, Mike said, “I’ll see you as a beautiful sexy woman who I care for. That’s all I’ll see.”
She looked into his eyes and saw love. The tear ran unheeded down her cheek. Her fingers quaking like aspens in the wind, she picked up the box and opened it. Inside, was a sparkling diamond solitaire set in a simple gold band.
“Put it on,” Mike told her.
She looked up at him, barely able to take her eyes from the ring. It was a dream. It had to be. She had become pregnant at fourteen with Amy since her school only taught abstinence in sex ed and she never heard of condoms. Her parent’s had thrown her out of the house. Kathy had lived on her own since. She saw in Mike’s eyes the dream she had at fourteen which had been taken from her, a man who loved her and wanted to be her husband. She put the ring over her finger.
“How does it fit?” he asked jubilant.
“A little loose,” she said.
“We can get it sized. It comes with the purchase,” he said quickly.
She put her hands in his, “It’s fine. Oh, Mike. Are you sure?”
“As sure as sure can be,” he said holding her hands. They gazed into each others’ eyes, happy, content, in their own world without a care, happy. Kathy saw the love in Mike’s eyes and for the first time since she learned she was pregnant at fourteen, the cares of the world fell away. Suddenly, the future looked beautiful.
Amy was waiting up when they came back after dinner. “Hi, Mike. Hi, Mom,” she said looking up from the TV.
Mike and Kathy were practically dancing in their nervousness. “Amy, I have some news,” Kathy said.
Amy looked up, a bit peeved to be distracted from the show.
Kathy held up her ring finger. “Mike and I are getting married.”
Amy sat stunned for a moment, then exploded from the couch and ran to her mother. They hugged and yelled, happy together.
Mike waited for the celebration to die down a bit. “I take it, it is okay with you?” Mike asked.
Amy turned to him and winked, “You bet.”
Mike understood the implications of that wink and he knew he couldn’t marry Kathy without telling her. He turned to Kathy. “Sweetie, there is one thing I have to tell you before we can move in together,” Mike said. He glanced at Amy, who suddenly realized what he was going to say. She shook her head, a wild look in her eyes. “I promised that we should be honest, so… Kathy, I had sex with Amy.”
Kathy was stock still for a moment. She looked at Amy.
Amy burst into tears, “I’m sorry mom. I know I shouldn’t have seduced him, but you said he was such a good lover and I wanted him to be my first.”
Kathy looked back at Mike, “She’s thirteen.”
Mike answered, “I could say I didn’t know that at the time, but it probably wouldn’t have mattered.”
Amy said indignantly, “Mom, how old were you, you’re first time?”
Kathy scolded her, “Amy, this has nothing to do with…”
Amy spit out, “Twelve! You told me. Twelve!”
“That was different. I should have waited,” Kathy told her.
Mike interjected trying to maintain a reasonable tone of voice, “Kathy, I always find it fascinating that adults forget just how powerful their own desires were when they were doing exactly the same things then, as their kids are doing now. Now that the fire of passion has begun to fade, it becomes easy to say, I should have waited, and therefore, you should too. It’s like the abstinence campaigns. The people preaching abstinence go home and crawl into bed with someone. It’s always easy to tell someone else what to do, when you don’t have to do it yourself.”
“Fine, you take advantage of my daughter then try to justify it,” she hissed.
Amy and Mike spoke at the same time, Amy’s high tone, “He didn’t take advantage of me. I took advantage of him,” mixing with Mike’s baritone, “I wasn’t trying to justify it. I can’t, but it happened,” he said.
They looked at each other, then laughed.
“Christ, how can you laugh at a time like this?” Kathy seethed.
Amy looked serious. “Mom, I am really sorry I seduced Mike. But don’t screw this up. I don’t want my mom to be a hooker forever.”
That hit Kathy. It felt like a punch right in her stomach. She felt her stomach clench up because her emotions were right on the surface anyway as she had been thinking exactly that thought all night. She fell back against the couch. She tried to stop it but couldn’t. The tears began to pour forth. Amy ran over and threw her arms around Kathy’s neck, joining her in tears. Mike was slower, but he sat down next to the two women and enveloped both of them in his arms. They shared a good cry.
When they were all cried out, Kathy regained control, wiped her eyes. “Damn it, I hate it that I can’t even upbraid this little brat because I’ve done such worse things.” She was ruefully smiling as she finished.
Mike bent forward until his forehead was touching Amy’s and Kathy’s, a circle was formed. “We all have done things we wish we hadn’t,” Mike said.
Amy looked up, “I haven’t. I’m sorry it hurt you, Mom, but I’m not sorry Mike was my first lover. He was wonderful.”
Kathy smirked, “Stealing my boyfriend for yours, huh? I should have known it would come to that, you pretty little brat. I could see the guys going gaga over you.”
“She is pretty,” Mike agreed.
“Really?” Amy asked.
“Really,” Mike said.
“Well, what are we going to do?” Kathy asked.
“I already told you what I want. I want you with me,” Mike said.
“And Amy,” Kathy responded.
“Amy is your daughter,” Mike said quietly.
“And your lover,” Amy said to Mike.
“You aren’t helping,” Mike said crossly to Amy.
“I just want to make sure I don’t get shipped off to some nunnery,” Amy said.
Kathy and Mike looked at each, then high-fived, “Perfect,” they said in unison.
“I’d say the Sisters of Perpetual Prayer,” Mike said seriously.
“Do you think they’d take her?” Kathy asked.
Amy crossed her arms on her chest, “Very funny.”
Mike looked at Kathy. She was smiling now. “Am I forgiven?”
“Oh, Shit, I guess,” Kathy said.
“I still want you to quit the business and move in with me,” he said.
Amy pleaded, “Please, Mom.”
“Will you keep your hands off him?” Kathy asked.
“He still needs to teach me a couple things, but I promise after that I’ll get my own boyfriend,” Amy said.
Kathy shook her head, “She’s too much like her mother.” She looked at Mike and saw the love in his eyes. “Okay, I’ll try it.”
Mike and Kathy embraced with Amy throwing arms around both of them, a family finally.
…After their frantic lovemaking, they collapsed onto the sofa, softly touching each other...
That is how Kathy found them, naked on the couch, the air reeking of sex, Mike still inside Amy. One of her date’s had flaked and she had come home early.
Kathy fell back against the door. “Oh, my God.”
The couple scrambled to get clothes on.
“Mom,” Amy said surprised.
“Darlene,” Mike started to explain.
“Shut up! Both of you, shut up!” She pointed at Mike and began walking towards him, a blood lust in her eyes. “Get out, now! I don’t ever want to see you again. Do you understand?”
Amy launched herself between Kathy and Mike. “Mom, it’s my fault. I seduced him. I’m sorry. You don’t have to be mad at Mike.”
Kathy looked back at Mike, “She’s thirteen.”
Mike answered, “I could say I didn’t know that at the time, but it probably wouldn’t have mattered.”
Amy said indignantly, “Mom, how old were you, you’re first time?”
Kathy scolded her, “Amy, this has nothing to do with…”
Amy spit out, “Twelve! You told me. Twelve!”
“That was different. I should have waited,” Kathy told her.
Mike interjected trying to maintain a reasonable tone of voice, “Kathy, I always find it fascinating that adults forget just how powerful their own desires were when they were doing exactly the same things then, as their kids are doing now. Now that the fire of passion has begun to fade, it becomes easy to say, I should have waited, and therefore, you should too. It’s like the abstinence campaigns. The people preaching abstinence go home and crawl into bed with someone. It’s always easy to tell someone else what to do, when you don’t have to do it yourself.”
“Fine, you take advantage of my daughter then try to justify it,” she hissed.
Amy tugged on Kathy’s arm. “Mom, I’m sorry but I wanted to find out what it is like. Don’t get mad at Mike.”
“Damn it, Amy. That’s how I started. I don’t want you to wind up like…” She almost said, ‘me.’ That hurt too much to say. She pushed that aside, but the hurt was there and it came out as anger, anger directed at the available target, Mike. “You child molester.”
“I am sorry. But I do love you,” he said.
Kathy laughed, her hurt and anger swamping her judgment. “Love? You fool! You’re just a trick. Don’t you understand? I take your money. I wouldn’t take money from someone I loved.”
That stabbed into Mike’s heart, hurting him deeply.
Amy stepped back from her mother, unable to believe she could be so spiteful and wondering if everything Kathy had said about Mike was all a lie. “But mom, you said you liked him.”
Kathy lashed out trying to hurt someone else to cover the intense hurt in her heart, “He’s just a john.” She turned on Mike. “I never want to see you again. If you call Amy I’ll report you to the police as a child molester. Do you understand?”
The tears were rolling down his cheeks, “No, I don’t understand. I can do as you ask. Goodbye Amy. Goodbye,” he said to Kathy, turned and left.
“Mom, why did you do that?” Amy asked.
“Someday you’ll understand,” Kathy said, not understanding herself. All she could feel were the years of anger at what life had forced on her and all of it was embodied in Mike at the moment.
“I’ll never understand,” Amy broke into tears and ran to her room slamming the door behind. Kathy collapsed onto the couch, tears of frustration and anger running down her cheeks. She felt as if she had lost something, but in her anger she couldn’t see what it was. She assumed she was crying over Amy’s innocence, when of course, Amy hadn’t been innocent from the time she learned her mother was a hooker.
Kathy was hurt, for a while, but she had long ago shut off certain emotions and she put the hurt behind that wall she had built. Mike was hurt, and he reacted by hating women. Twice he had exposed himself and twice he’d been hurt. ‘Never again,’ he promised himself, ‘never again.’ Amy tried to understand, to understand why. What was the moral of the story?
Sometimes life doesn’t have a nice neat moral. Maybe if Kathy wasn’t so hurt inside she could have controlled her emotions and forgiven Mike, Maybe Mike would have married Kathy. Maybe Amy would have come to love him as a Father she never had. Maybe. Sometimes life isn’t rational, doesn’t follow a nice storyline, doesn’t work out for the best, the good guys don’t win. Sometimes, life simply happens to us.
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