15: EDWARD TORTOISE

 

   Kittens and water are not generally the very best of friends. But the racing squirrels at the Catsville racecourse all loved splashing around and swimming so much that Oliver, who had short hair and did not mind too much getting wet, soon graduated from combing and drying their damp fur every morning before kitten school to joining them.

   Oliver was a very serious little kitten, and so naturally took very great care about learning to swim. At the beginning he just dipped each of his front paws in the racecourse pond, one after the other, and then carefully shook each one dry. But Wayne, the champion racing squirrel and his very best squirrel friend, quickly persuaded him to paddle all four paws at the same time, and then splashed him so much that he drenched Oliver through and through. Oliver was a little shocked at first, and had to twitch his whiskers a great deal to dry them. But then he realised that he felt just as comfortable paddling in water as drying himself, sniffed at the water a couple of times to make sure it was safe, paddled a bit further out from the pond edge, and was soon swimming just like a squirrel, with his whiskers just above water and his tail floating out behind him.

   The little silver fishes bubbled for joy, and Oliver talked about nothing else during kitten school morning milk break, making all the other Mighty Mousers really rather jealous.

   Salem made a mental resolution to learn to swim as quickly as possible, Roxanne wondered whether water would take the shine out of her fur, and even Fluffy thought she might try wetting her paws in a very delicate sort of way.

   Next morning Salem and Roxanne, Fluffy, Jack, and Nathaniel all woke very early to cycle to the Catsville racecourse. Oliver was already waiting for them and swam like a champion, the squirrels all played splashing games, and the little silver fish danced in beautiful water patterns. The sun smiled down, warming the pond, and the Mighty Mousers were tremendously tempted. They paddled a bit, and began to splash each other quite a lot, and soon even Fluffy joined in, because she was really just a kitten at heart, and then, as if by magic, they were all swimming in neat formation like six little furry torpedoes.

   After that they came swimming every day, and most of the other kittens in Catsville joined them, until the pond was really very busy at times. Then teenage and parent cats began swimming as well, and the pond grew so crowded that sometimes one could scarcely see water for soggy fur.

   The little silver fishes found themselves pushed down to the bottom of the pond, which was the only place safe from herds of busily paddling paws, and bubbled bitterly about only being able to dance after dark. This made the racecourse committee have a good think, and the committee decided to build a second much bigger grown-up pond complete with diving boards and waterslides, and then a third pond with a little wooded island where timid kittens who were too nervous to swim could paddle around on little wooden rafts shaped like waterlily leaves, and land on the island for picnics.

   The committee also hired an elderly tortoise named Edward to keep an eye on the timid kittens, and gave him a smart blue and white peaked cap and a little megaphone to call them back when they had paddled enough - because the rafts soon proved so popular that Edward had to ration them out, timid kitten by timid kitten, for ten minutes at a time.

   A family of friendly beavers dug a system of special tunnels to allow the little silver fish to move freely from pond to pond, and the Catsville racecourse soon grew into a really smart all-round leisure centre.

   However young animals are not always on their very best behaviour, and popularity is not always a wonderful thing. The timid kittens loved Edward Tortoise dearly, and always obeyed him when he called them back to shore, and Edward - who was very good natured, if sometimes a little sleepy - rewarded them by allowing them to ride on his shell. But some bolder and rather bad-mannered kittens began paddling rafts as well, and they never listened when he called.

   Poor Edward began to grow quite grumpy. ‘I just don't know what I'm going to do about the little varmints,’ he complained one day to Salem and Roxanne, who had stopped by on a social call and brought a carton of milk, because elderly tortoises like a little drink with their fruit and lettuce. ‘There's going to be trouble one of these days, you mark my wrinkles.’

   No sooner had he spoken than there was an enormous splash. Salem and Roxanne rushed to the edge of the pond with Edward trundling rather more slowly behind them, to find a group of three timid kittens huddled together in a tight little tearful cluster, and one of them dripping wet.

   ‘They jumped the queue,’ miaowed a fat little timid kitten named Toby.

   ‘They pushed Benjamin into the water, and took our rafts,’ miaowed a black and white timid kitten named Cassie.

   ‘They were really beastly to us,’ miaowed the third timid kitten, still dripping, but trying to shake itself dry, and sneezing in the process.

   Edward Tortoise, Salem and Roxanne stared out over the pond, to see two big ginger kittens paddling busily towards the little island. They were lying flat on the little rafts, with their tails flying high like flags, using all four paws and paddling very fast, and they reached the island in a trice.

   ‘Can't catch us, can't catch us,’ they shouted rudely as they sprang ashore, and began chasing each other round and round in a little victory dance.

   Edward, Salem, Roxanne and the three timid kittens watched in shock.

   ‘Those varmints deserve a good shaking,’ Edward Tortoise rumbled, and then rumbled again, because tortoises are rather slow animals, and like to be very precise in what they say.

   Salem looked fierce, and paddled into the water up to his elbows. ‘I'll swim after them, and Roxanne can catch them as they come out of the water,’ he miaowed angrily.

   Roxanne, who was busily helping to dry the third timid kitten with her tail, looked a little alarmed. She was not sure that she was a match on her own for two big ginger kittens, and she had a vision of a great deal of scratching and kicking and biting.

   The three timid kittens began to perk up a little. Things had begun to get exciting, and they had visions of ranking as stars amongst all the other timid kittens in kitten school.

   Salem paddled angrily. ‘Come on, or we'll never catch them.’

   But it was already too late. The two big ginger kittens were back on their little rafts paddling for the far shore, tails flying high, and making a great deal of splashing.

   Salem scrambled out of the water and ran round the pond, followed by Roxanne, with the three timid kittens following at a safe distance, and Edward Tortoise trundling along behind. But then they all slowed. Two more big ginger kittens stood waiting at the pond edge, and they had a fierce look about them, as though they might be spoiling for a fight.

   The newcomers arched their backs, and spat and hissed, and Salem stopped uncertainly. Two big bad ginger kittens did not frighten him, even though he knew they might prove a major problem. But whilst he was a brave kitten, and not really afraid of anything very much, he reckoned four to one a bad bet, and feared what the ginger kittens might do to Roxanne.

   The three timid kittens shrank back in terror, looked around desperately for somewhere to hide, and tried to creep under the shelter of Edward's shell.

   ‘Don't come a paw print closer,’ one of the ginger kittens facing Salem  growled, lowering his whiskers until they were pointing almost straight down at the ground. Meanwhile the two paddling ginger kittens arrived back at the edge of the pond, scrambled out of the water, and shook themselves dry.

   Salem drooped his whiskers to match the ginger kitten's fierceness. ‘You've got no right to be here.’

   ‘Says you,’ the ginger kitten snarled. ‘We're big bad ginger kittens, and we go just where we want.’

   ‘That's right,’ miaowed a second ginger kitten. ‘We've got a gang, and nobody tells us what to do.’

   Roxanne could hardly believe her ears. ‘You'll be in big trouble at kitten school,’ she hissed.

   ‘We don't go to kitten school - we're wild kittens, ginger kittens,’ the four ginger kittens sneered in chorus. ‘We're gangster kittens.’

   With that they turned and stalked off, tails high in the air, as though they owned the whole Catsville racecourse.

   Salem and Roxanne and Edward Tortoise looked at each other in alarm. Salem and Roxanne both had visions of wild trouble-making ginger kittens frightening all the poor little timid kittens right out of their wits, whilst Edward Tortoise could see himself having to stay awake the whole time, instead of being able to nap in ten minute stretches between megaphone calls. The three timid kittens shivered, and wondered whether they would ever dare paddle again.

   They were all still standing wondering what to do next when they heard a dreadful noise heading towards them. Suddenly a whole gang of ginger kittens came rocketing down a path, screeching and shouting and miaowing for all they were worth. The gang was pushing two orange boxes on wheels, with more ginger kittens crouched inside the boxes, and heading straight for the pond.

   ‘Yo ho ho,’ screamed the ginger kittens, sending the orange boxes flying into the water, and Salem and Roxanne could see that the ginger kittens inside the boxes had bright red handkerchiefs tied between their ears, and eyepatches tied over an eye apiece. ‘We're big bad pirates, and we're going to hunt for treasure on Treasure Island.’

   Edward Tortoise was so frightened that he immediately vanished into his shell, whilst the three timid kittens shot off as fast as their little paws could carry them.

   Salem and Roxanne watched speechlessly as the two orange boxes sailed off towards the little island, with a small flotilla of ginger kittens splashing on little rafts around them. Then, suddenly, there was a terrified scream, and the ginger kittens in one of the boxes began flailing madly.

   ‘We're sinking, we're sinking,’ it yowled in terror - and sure enough the orange box began to float lower and lower in the water.

   ‘Help! Help!’ the ginger kittens in the second orange box screeched. ‘We're sinking as well, and we can't swim.’

   Salem pretended not to hear. He knew the pond was not very deep, and he expected the ginger kittens on the little rafts to rescue their fellow gangsters. But the kittens on the rafts merely paddled round the boxes in panic, screaming as well.

   Roxanne paddled into the water. ‘We'll have to do something,’ she miaowed. ‘Make Edward come out of his shell.’

   ‘They won't drown,’ Salem miaowed back scornfully.

   ‘They're frightened, and they might do all sorts of silly things,’ she scolded, taking a deep breath. ‘He'll have to bring them back to shore.’

   The next moment she was gone, paddling busily towards the sinking orange boxes. Fortunately the pond was not really deep at all, and the boxes ended up just sticking out of the water. But the ginger kittens clinging to them were much too frightened to let go, or try paddling themselves to the little island, which was now only a kitten-length distant, and there were too many panicky kittens paddling round and round on little rafts for Roxanne to be able to do anything on her own.

   Salem tried knocking on Edward Tortoise's shell. He heard a deep rumble, somewhere far away inside the shell, and then a second rumble. He knocked again, a bit harder, and a blunt tortoise nose sniffed at the air.

   ‘We've got to help,’ he explained.

   Edward Tortoise stuck out his head and looked at the pond suspiciously. ‘Bit of a soaking will do those varmints good,’ he grumbled.

   ‘Come on,’ Salem begged. ‘Please, for Roxanne's sake.’

   Edward Tortoise took a deep breath, and began to make his way towards the water. Soon he reached one of the sunken orange boxes, and Roxanne began helping dripping, and very crestfallen, ginger kittens onto his shell.

   Edward carried the ginger kittens to shore in two trips, and Salem stood guard over them until Edward had brought Roxanne back as well. Meanwhile the other ginger kittens brought their little rafts back, parked them neatly at the water's edge, and stood watching. But none of them looked fierce any more.

   Roxanne made the dripping kittens line up, and eyed them sternly. ‘That was very naughty of you. Very, very naughty indeed.’

   One of the dripping kittens began to sneeze, and another began to cry. Now their little red handkerchiefs were soggy rags, and their eye patches hung on limp strings around their necks.

   ‘You must learn to behave properly, and have a regard for other animals, and you must all go to kitten school,’ she went on.

   The ginger kittens nodded reluctantly. It was plain that they were not really wicked kittens at heart, and that they had learned their lesson.

   ‘And you must all learn to swim,’ Roxanne finished, and began to dry the sneezing ginger kitten, though she rather feared she might catch its cold.

   Edward Tortoise lumbered off, and came back with some dry towels, and Salem helped him dry the other orange box kittens, who were now only damp, and then all the ginger kittens slunk off, looking rather ashamed of themselves. But they always behaved themselves from that day on, more or less, and they all learned to swim very nicely.