Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 285 - June 3

From: <Celeste801@aol.com>

Date: 1998/06/03

Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d

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"Cannon Song" by Miles Naismith (truth or dare sex) 9.6, 9, 9.7

http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353349595

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"Cannon Song" by Niles Naismith (Mnaismith@hotmail.com). Guest review by

jubjub.

Story Summary: A sexual Truth or Dare of sorts set in '60s Princeton

University.

This is a plainly told story. Therein lies both its strength and its

weakness. Without the stylistic flourishes, the story's simple descriptions

carry considerable impact. The author ended with a footnote thanking his

editor for telling him that the story originally read like a lecture. I can

assure you that this story no longer has that feel. But it still seems a bit

forced. A more natural, nostalgic tone would have been even better.

The biggest complaint that I had was with the characters. There is

considerable narrative but none of the characters are particularly notable.

There is also a twist of sorts near the end of the story that seemed to come

out of nowhere. It throws a shadow of incest on the story that jars the flow.

Part of the reason for this is that the characters are not deeply written

enough so that the relationships mean anything.

But this story still works. Its simple style is both elegant and clean. This

includes the lack of vulgarities. I read this story three times and all three

times the sex scenes (which came toward the end of the story) were effective

and believable. They were, in fact, visualizable on both the physical and

emotional levels. While its evocation of 'free' sex on a campus wasn't as

fully fleshed out as I would have liked, it was good enough to help reveal the

primary tension in this story. Definitely one of the best I've reviewed this

year.

Technical: 9.6 Style was forced at times. Needed a more

nostalgic feel

Characterization and Plot: 9 Characters lacked some cohesion

and purpose

Appeal: 9.7 'Uncle Miles' section created emotional gear-shifting