"Woo! What a rush!" said the guy in the back seat.  The driver had too serious a rep to be smilin'.  But he was grinning on the inside.  The only one who had a slight frown was the woman.  She shifted uncomfortably.

"So, D, we'd better swing by that gas station on 67th," she suddenly said.  The driver, D, shot her a confused look.

"Why?"

"Cause I gotta take a dump."  The men in the car laughed.  After a few seconds D asked, "Wait, you're not serious, right?"

"Yes I am!" she exclaimed.

"Then hold it."

"I can't! You're going to have to stop."

"Kate," the guy in the back said, "we just robbed a bank. You can't just stop every few miles or so for restroom breaks. That's why we went before."

"I didn't."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because, Oz, you guys were rushing me out of the door when I was about to go, and this is the first break we've had!"

"You got up late! Your ass needs to get up earlier!"

"My alarm was broken!"

"No it wasn't! You forgot to set it!"

"What-fucking-ever!" Oz opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. "So, can we stop?" Kate asked again.

"No," D and Oz said simultaneously.

"C'mon you guys, I'm serious."

"So am I," D said while staring ahead. He began to talk to her like a child. "If the cops see us, and they are looking for us right now, then we will seriously be in some serious jail."

"What do you want me to do, fucking mess myself?"

"See, that's not really an option either. This car isn't ours, so we can't have you pissin' on the seats..."

"Well, I could probably hold-"

"NOT to mention that were going to have to be seen in public soon, so we can't have you attracting any extra attention AND those pants you're wearing are going to be planted and they gotta be planted clean. Unless... we swung by the laundromat...," D thought aloud.

"No time," Oz answered.

"True."

"You could shit out the window," Oz finally suggested.

"You gotta be kidding," Kate said.

"Sounds like a good idea," D remarked, "but that type of thing tends to attract attention."

"Aww... that would've been funny as hell to see her shit out the window," Oz commented, snickering.

"Well we're running out of time. Better pull over," Kate said.

"That is the least viable of our options."

"Not to me!" Kate squeezed her legs together and gripped the dashboard. After a minute or so of squirming, Kate told them, "I'm not going to make it if you don't stop."

"The window!" Oz exclaimed.

"You know," D said suddenly, "...I think there are some Ziploc bags in the glove compartment..." Kate sprang forward and tried to open the glove compartment. It was locked.

"Keys!" she shouted, now that she had some hope.

"Well, we can't stop..."

"Valet!" She gripped his arm.

"Okay, okay, chill..." He disattached the valet key and she stuck it in the keyhole.

"Isn't the whole idea behind the valet key to have a key that CAN'T open the glove compartment?" Oz reminded them. Kate still tried the lock.

"That's it!" she lost patience and pointed her gun at the lock.

"Whoa!" D interjected. "Whoa! Wait... I think I have an extra key." He pulled it out of his pocket. "Never can be too safe." She snatched the key from him, opened the glove compartment, took out a couple of plastic bags, and closed it again. Kate looked at each of her partners-in-crime, then quickly took her pants and thong down. She held the two baggies and spread her legs on the dashboard.

"I can't hold them both!" she cried.

"Here," Oz sighed and leaned forward to hold the top bag open. His left arm reached around the seat and he held the bag open by lightly squeezing the ends. She held the other open with both hands.

"Aaugh," she moaned slightly. The shit flowed from her ass without pushing. It went into the lower bag. Her piss sprayed into the top bag and dripped down her vulva occasionally. She was not as much embarrassed by her longtime friends seeing her defecating as she was embarrassed by her inability to hold her bowels longer.
D sniffed the air. He rolled down all the windows in the car.

"Damn, maybe we should've stopped..."

"Shut the fuck up!" she cried. D was surprised at how hard he was getting, though. "I'm going to need another bag," she warned.

"...You talkin' to me?" D asked.

"Yes!"

"I'm driving!"

"Just get one! Quickly!" D reached over and got a baggie with one hand while holding the steering wheel in his other hand. He gave it to Kate. She switched bags and began to defecate in the new, empty bag.

"Done?" Oz asked after a while.

"Yeah." She looked in the glove compartment. "Got any Kleenex, paper towels,... something?"

"Do you see anything?" D asked. Kate sighed.

"Fuck it." She redressed and sealed up her foul Ziploc bags.

"Well, that'll be a great story to tell the grandkids."

"Shut up!" Kate couldn't help chuckling though. She put the bags, one by one out the window.

"'Did I ever tell you kiddies about the time I shit in a Ziploc bag?'" Oz imitated. They all laughed.

Meanwhile, Officer Bobeck didn't laugh as someone threw some litter at his feet. He would have to pull that sports car over and give them a fine.
"What the hell?" the cop said, noticing what was in one of the Ziploc baggies. He jumped on his motorcycle, turned the siren on and followed the car.

"Robberies 'N Shit" has earned a star at White Shadow's Nasty Stories.