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Journal of Events:
Booty
by MechaBlade November 13 I must've been bored out of my fucking mind. I hadn't fucked anyone but Paz in months, and that, when I'm honest with myself, was little more than a pity fuck. So that must be why I slipped up and went out with Elaine again. I just wanted to go to the movies and figured I'd bring a girl along. I really didn't expect anything from her. Which is why I was caught quite off guard when she grabbed my junk and kissed me during the movie. Quite used to her bullshit, I stopped her and demanded answers. Why was she getting handsy now when all she wanted to do was kiss before? "That was the last date, I only went to first base. This date I'm going to second base," she said, like it made perfect sense. "So the next date..." I started. "Third base," she giggled, possibly in anticipation. "But this is the third date, so shouldn't we go to third base?" "No, the first date I was just getting to know you." I inquired further, just to make sure she was going to let me go all the way on the 5th date. She assured me she would, if there was a 5th date. "So, wanna go on two dates tomorrow?" She laughed. "No cheating. Plus tomorrow I have to volunteer at the church after mass." She said it in a way that implied I could come. I'm not taking the bait, as I have the feeling it's not going to be treated as a date. Too bad, because one of the things on my to-do list is fingering a girl's honey trap in a holy building. But insane girl logic aside, I'm pleased that she's given me an opening, so to speak. Time to make it happen. November 21 I went to two more dates with Elaine. The first was nothing special. Sure, it was nice sticking my fingers in her slimehole as she gave me half a handjob, but all I could think of was the next date and how I was going to be able to spread those pale, freckled thighs and make her shout out her lord's name in vain. Making her blaspheme was going to be the creamy frosting on the cake of fucking her red-carpeted clam. Nothing doing. The fifth date was hot and heavy at her house, her parents gone for the night, my tongue and fingers combing every inch of her body. I took off my clothes, put on the rubber and approach her naked quivering body. Just to be shot down. She was nervous, like a lot of girls are, but she timidly told me to stop. "What?" I said, the reading on my bullshit detector spiking. "I can't do it." DING! DING! goes the bullshit detector. "Don't worry," I told her. "I'll be gentle." "I... can't. What if I blow you instead? That's sex." "You said you're not a virgin, right? What's the problem? I just want to make you cum." "I'm a virgin, and I'm staying a virgin until marriage." WHAT THE FUCK. "What I said," she continued, "was that it wasn't my first time. I get it in my butt." Oh. "Sheeeit... sounds like a plan to me," I said, readying my dick for some dirthole fun. "But I don't think I can do it. I... shouldn't do it this time. I feel different about you." My typical-girl-bullshit detector was off the charts. If I had a dollar every time a girl ironically wanted to take it slow because she liked me... "But you like me, don't you?" It was time to use classical tactics. "Yes, very much." "Then why can't we fuck?" "I have a problem. I... get addicted. I need it in me all the time. I kinda go crazy. I don't know if I want you to see that side of me yet." "You're really doing a just awful job of convincing me this is a bad thing." "I just can't. I'm sorry." She made the doe eyes at me. "Please don't be mad." Fuck that fucking ho's fucking bullshit, and fuck her fucking pity blowjob. I could find some other bitch to fuck me. Or, hell, taking care of myself would be better than fucking with this lame chick and her bullshit excuses. I got the fuck out of there. Maybe God was trying to make up for this lame date or maybe Paz was psychic, but Paz texted me as I was driving home. It was an obvious booty call. It read: can u cum ovr? The fact that she had spelled it "cum" had nothing to do with it. She always typed it that way. It was the fact that she wanted me to come over at 1AM. Sure, she had texted me to come over during the day and she had called to talk late at night, but she had never told me to come over to her house late at night like this. I texted her back to tell her I was coming. I was eager to drain my woefully full balls. Paz snuck me in through her window. I don't know why. I probably could've just came through the front door. From all the dudes she's had over, I can't imagine her parents would really care about me fucking her. But it was 1AM in the morning. Yeah, her parents actually like me more than her other friends/lovers. Shows you what kind of messed up company she keeps. "What's up," I said. "How's it going?" said Paz. "Fine. Elaine is a cocktease." "God, why do girls do that? I hate bitches like that." "Me, too. How's the parents?" "Fantastic. Are we gonna talk, or fuck?" "Fuck," I answered decisively. "Thank god, this small talk was killing me." I smiled. Paz was great. She started off by sucking my cock, her head bobbing on my dick like a hen pecking at a worm. My little chickenhead friend then sucked my balls while jerking my shaft. She looked up at me, pushing my nutsack around her mouth with her tongue. I had to stop myself before I started to moan. Who had taught her this new maneuver? I ought to send him a thank you letter. Paz, always a very proactive girl, slipped the condom on my dick, then slipped her cunt over that condom. It was a nice slow fuck, cowgirl style. As she ground me into the bed, I reconsidered my "pity fuck" with Paz and I realized that Paz was more than just a random bitch that I threw a bone to. She was a good friend and a beautiful woman. But I knew I couldn't get involved with her. From her ex-boyfriends and from her own mouth I had gleaned that she was a crazy girlfriend. And I know I sound like a chick when I say this, but I honestly don't want to ruin our friendship. Still, as she swirled her hips against mine while humming some catchy new pop tune, I pictured her as my girlfriend and it made me that much harder. I pictured us together holding hands and all that romantic shit. And that, in turn, made me disgusted and full of self-loathing. I was balls deep in her and she was a friend I could tell my secrets to. Why would I want more? Wanting to get this pussified emotional bullshit out of my system, I let the bastard in me take over. "Get on all fours, bitch," I growled. "Ooh, he's getting nast-ay," she chirped. I smacked her ass and she yelped. We were doing a perfectly shitty job of being quiet, but I didn't give a fuck. She had locks on her doors. We got in doggy position and I began slamming into her gooey fuckbox, staring down at her asshole (or what I could see of it in the darkness), waiting for the go ahead. Sure enough, I had gotten her prime and ready for the third act and she requested, "Put it in my ass." I knew exactly what that meant. Which is why I still don't know why I did what I did. Perhaps it was Elaine's anal talk that got me riled up, perhaps I was still trying to see Paz as a fuck and not a friend, let alone a girlfriend. Perhaps, although she had already told me how she had tried it and didn't like it, I thought she would enjoy it with me. Either way, instead of simply sticking my finger in her asshole like she wanted, I pulled out of her cunt and pressed my dick against her buttcunt. It didn't take long for her to figure out what was going on. "What the fuck are you doing?" she said, looking back at me angrily. I was familiar with those words under these circumstances, but it was a lot scarier coming from Paz. Continuing in bastard mode, I ignored her anger: "I'm putting it in your ass," I huffed, as if me fucking her ass was completely warranted. I said it perfectly cool. I didn't keep moving forward in her ass, though. I was daring, but not crazy. "No, you're not. Not unless you want to get the fuck out right now." I swallowed. "Sorry." I put it back in her pussy and resumed fucking her. "Stick to the script," she added, turning back. Anal mishaps aside, I fucked her good that night. I got her to the edge again and she made sure to clearly request what she wanted. "Finger," she had said with a bit of harshness in her voice. And though she was a bit peeved, at least she didn't kiss me afterwards like last time. I think it's clear to both of us what our relationship is. "Friends with benefits" benefits both of us. I guess dick is still too big for her to take anally. Fair enough. I don't understand why any girl wouldn't want my meat up in her butt, but at least Paz let me stick a finger in there, so that was good enough. Plus, she was a booty call, so less was expected of her. Unlike Elaine, who was trying to be my girlfriend and wouldn't even fuck me. Bitch. As I was leaving Paz's place I noticed she had left me a couple voicemails. Probably trying to explain why fucking was sinful and how it makes baby Jesus cry. Or maybe even breaking it off with me. I ignored her calls. It's time to go to bed. 8:03PM I slept most of the day. Worked out, got some good video gaming in, made some dinner. I found this clam chowder recipe and it totally tasted better that the chowder at Snockey's. My chowder fucking rocked the casbah. Anyway, Elaine kept calling and sending texts that said "pick up pick up pick up", so I finally picked up and talked to her. She wants me to come over. For what, I don't know. She wants to apologize and "make it up to me" or something. It sounded like she was crying. I've got to go the Best Buy over by her house, so maybe I'll stop by afterwards and see what this is about. November 22 So. When I got to Elaine's house, it was clear she had been crying. I guess when I left, I said something that really got to her. I don't even remember what I said. Doesn't matter. The point was that she apologized for being all neurotic about fucking me and said that the last thing she wanted to do was push me away. "I just want you to respect me," she said. "Some guys don't respect girls that give it to them too easily." "Those guys are gay," I informed her. Those guys really are gay, or are at least huge douchebags. What's the point of dating a girl if you can't fuck her? "I just want it to mean something when we make love. I want it to be an expression of love, not just us giving into our baser instincts." Utter nonsense. "Baser instincts." The natural drive that has allowed human beings to preserve their species through the ages is more than a base instinct. And how can you love someone you haven't fucked yet? Still, I let her continue. I drifted in and out as she continued blabbering about meaningful relationships and levels of commitment, looking around her bedroom and wondering which household objects she used when masturbating. Then she ended with something like "ready to show you." I looked straight at her as she slid to her knees, opened my fly and began sucking my cock. It was typical. A nice bj to satisfy me for now. And, surely, I did enjoy the blowjob. She took my dick like it was Communion. But then she surprised me when she turned around, lifted her skirt, dropped her panties and said in a husky voice, "Now, give it to me." It wasn't a token pity blowjob, she was getting me hard for some hot anal fun. She sucked on her finger and fingered her Crayola® Carnation Pink asshole, goading me on and reminding me to steer clear of her "vagina." Given my record that weekend for fucking the wrong holes, I suppose she wasn't wrong to warn me. I slid into her ass. It was tight, but it wasn't the five minute struggle it was with some girls. I just pushed steadily in as she grunted ("MMMMmmm uh! Mmmmmm ugh!") and my dick was buried to the balls in her butt in no time. She didn't seem to go that crazy over it, like I was expecting, just plenty of grunts and moans and ooh ooh oohs. But none of the porn star talk I thought she might belt out while I was augering her ass. It was good, though. With her on all fours, bucking her ass and rubbing her clit and me grabbing her tits and spanking her ass, it felt just like the real thing. This little virgin was a good fuck. Now that's a hell of a paradox. I decided that Elaine might make a good girlfriend after all. I think the exact moment was when I had shot my load up her ass and she looked back at me with her sweaty red hair still matted to her face and said, "Wanna go again?" As I prepped for Round 2, I casually observed that this weekend was all about the booty. One booty call and then some booty sex. Good times indeed. |