Prostitution is like any other enterprise because it only exists where there is demand for it. In a ravaged country where entire civilian families are annihilated by misguided mortars and small children are made orphans in alarming numbers, it's no surprise that the survivors are desperate to make money in any way possible. The 'pocket change' of the U.N. Soldier equals more wages than a young Somali women could hope to earn in a month doing 'native' work but the villagers who benefit from the foreigner's money still resent unrequested western presence and influence in their country.
To many Somalis, their internal conflict and revolution is a private matter and the United Nation's meddling is a source of irritation and resentment. Because most of the soldiers are from the United States, they view America as the defiant symbol of a 'nosy neighbor' and the face of suppression and tyrannical control. In their eyes, the other supporting countries of the U.N. are just puppets of America's alienating democracy. U.S. Army soldiers captured by Somalian death squads are often hung and burned in an effigy of angry, anti-democratic protest. U.N. commanders are aware of the fierce anti-American sentiment, and threat to the mission of peace so guards keep a base perimeter watch 24 hours a day for suicide bombers and other serious threats. Ironically, the men are often so busy looking over their shoulders for enemy assaults and sniper fire that they sometimes overlook the most deadly, unsuspected threats of all.
A small group of 'peacekeepers' decided to celebrate a temporary cease-fire 'shore leave' and drove to town to visit an off-barracks 'watering hole'. After countless warnings to watch their backs against Somali guerillas; the men were desensitized to the point of not caring at all. The peacekeeping mission rhetoric they had been inundated with gave them a false sense of security and trust of the villagers. It didn't make sense that the Somali people would resent their philanthropic presence in the country or be ungrateful for all their life saving efforts and essential medical supplies. Their poor perception of the unfriendly political climate was a deadly miscalculation.
"You buy me drenk, U.S. Soldierman?"; A barfly asked in wayward English. Of all the prostitutes in the bar, she was the least physically repulsive. Lieutenant Udale Nix smiled at her obvious con. She probably had a financial kick-back coming from the bar for every drink she sold. It all seemed so unnecessary since he and his G.I. buddies were already drinking but the booze the men bought her was probably just poured back into the bottle for another sale! It was a clever scam but if he was going to pay for watered down liquor, it was going into his own gut! After all, he'd much rather spend his cash on private sexual entertainment with her in a cheap hotel room. His friends noticed the flesh peddling deal in progress and cheered him on, in typical macho fashion.
Cutting directly to the chase, he inquired how much her price was for the full night. Before she could respond to his forward but inevitable question, he was urgently pulled aside by the bartender and given an omnious warning.
"G.I. Joe, you no wanna lay wit 'dat' hor! She have V.D.!"; He advised anxiously.
"You don't want me to take away your salesgirl from the bar since she solicits all of your drinks, eh?"; He sneered sarcastically. "Don't you worry about me! If she does have V.D. I'll be protected by 'Uncle Sam's' free 'raincoats' that he gives out to all of us!"
The bartender was shocked by the soldier's indignation but tried once again unsuccessfully to convince him that it was a bad idea to sleep with the prostitute. The harder he tried to convince the 'peacekeeper', the more amused and disrespectful Lieutenant Nix became. Finally the bartender shrugged his shoulders and apathetic defeat, knowing that he had did all that he could be expected to.
"Udale's gonna get him some chocolate nookie tonight!"; his pals drunkenly chanted. "I might just call up your wife about this!": One of them cajoled. After the deal was struck and the terms agreed to, Lieutenant Nix bade his friends bye and told them he would see them back at the barracks when their weekend pass was over. It was to be the last time any of them would ever see him alive. His mutilated corpse was uncovered at a rubbage dump three weeks later.
"U.S. Soldierman, follow me to (my) partmen and I whill make u feel like u wife nevr have, befor!"
Udale stepped into the tiny apartment and surveyed the surprisingly tasteful African furnishings of the prostitute's bedroom. It was cramped even by 3rd world standards but at least it appeared well kept and visibly clean. Some of the 'huts' he had been in during his military tour of Somalia were not even fit for animal habitation. 'She probably kept the place presentable to insure that she had some repeat customers'; He smugly surmised.
When she disrobed he noted that she had a thick tangle of coarse pubic hair which completely cloaked her nether lips and pubis. It was a considerable turn off but he already knew she wasn't a 'prom queen'. He'd just have to 'part the jungle' and 'beat down the bush' to explore Africa's 'dark continent' for the first time. The lieutenant quickly disrobed since there wasn't any need for foreplay with that type of financial arrangement. It was strictly business.
"Oh my god! I've-never-felt any-thing like-this be-fore! It's almost as if your muscles have a mind of their own!"; He gasped. "How-are-you-doing-that?" Each primitively articulated word came between strained grunts of tension which registered in the swollen veins on his forehead. He studied her ebony features and dark eyes beneath him to ascertain if she appeared to be fiercely flexing around his member. Amazingly, her bored expression betrayed no efforts at all! The steel 'grip' of her hidden vagina almost seemed involuntary and it was all he could do to hold back his 'load' before he lost it prematurely.
"Relax Amerikan Soldierman! I will take carre of u. My lowr mouth vrry hungry! It has not eatn in lonn thime. You will be good meel! My puzzy ez a snappr!": She bragged.
The "Platoon Times" reported the gruesome discovery of the emasculated, castrated corpse of Lieutenant U. Nix in a shallow grave outside Mogadishu yesterday. Authorities strongly suspect anti-America rebels captured and sexually mutilated him as a brutal political protest against the U.S. involvement in their conflict. Swift justice was promised to the Lieutenant's wife and family but no arrests have been made yet. The official investigation is being headed by First Sergeant Edmund Fitshume of the Joint Peacekeeping Team Military Police.
Something which the investigators will never take into consideration is the primitive folklore which young African boys are told about little girls to keep them celibate. The tribal elders hope to scare young men by telling them that females have a second set of teeth in their vaginas which will bite their penises. This superstitious, primitive birth control method is quite effective at keeping unwanted children to a minimum but as with most folktales, there is occasionally a kernel of truth to it. An ultra rare genetic mutation known as V.aginal D.entata occurs occasionally in isolated villages where the gene pool is very small. It's existence is completely unknown to Western science. The genetic mutants are born only in remote parts of the jungle and look absolutely identical to Homo Sapiens externally. Only with very careful examination of their vagina can the visible evidence of sharp teeth and voracious appetites be witnessed!
It only makes sense that the next evolution of humanity would begin where the prior mutation did three million years ago with Louis Leakey's 'Lucy'; the bridge between modern man and our ape ancestors. At our current rare of developmental evolution, all women might someday have V.aginal D.entata! Guys, we'd better start being nice now, just in case!
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