; ; After he cleaned the filter, for ; macerated cat was one of the few substances ; the self-clean couldn't cope with, she had ; offered him a cup of coffee. As she sat ; across from him, her robe just happened to ; gape open, beneath the glass table. Seeing ; that he had noticed, she asked him if he ; could fix other plumbing troubles; she seemed ; to have some congestion in another pipe, and ; perhaps he could open it up for her?
; ; He said, of course, a Maytack repairman, ; like a Boy Scout, is always willing to help. ; She led him to her waterbed, and, with a bit ; of probing with his special tool, he resolved ; her problem for a while. He told her that ; this additional work did not include a ; guarantee of lifetime satisfaction, and ; suggested that, since she had lost three cats ; already that year, perhaps she should change ; her ways. Rather than buy another cat, he ; suggested, a vibrator might be better.
; ; Jim didn't mean to be callous and cruel, ; but he was getting tired of such ; mid-afternoon service calls. It wasn't that ; Jim minded polishing his tool from time to ; time, especially when Maytack was paying him ; to do it, but your average bored housewife is ; hardly something to remember and fantasize ; about. Not for someone who spends hours ; every day, sitting by the phone, watching ; special pay videos. When you've seen Yvonne ; van der Kunt and Stephen Studd, the ; Playperson playmates of the year, last year, ; perform on demand, larger than life, 3-D, in ; color, then servicing housewives seems menial ; work, something less than a viewer has come ; to expect. Stephen Studd would never ream ; the pipe for just any old housewife.
; ; Jim's big thrill came when he got a real ; emergency call. A Maytack Minicruiser, Model ; 90, at least 72 years old, had lost power on ; the way to the moon, or so the 911 dispatcher ; said. Jim called to his toolbox to heel, ; raced for the door, and jumped into his own, ; souped-up, Maytack Model 98, an altogether ; more macho machine.
; ; Clearing the atmosphere, and updating ; his flight plan with the FAA, Jim kicked in ; his extra thrust and was soon in pursuit of ; the crippled minicruiser. It's radar ; transponder didn't seem to be working, though ; the comm transmitter must have, to call 911. ; If the ship was that badly off, Jim figured ; he'd better wear a pressure suit, just in ; case. He switched on his infra-red scanner ; and saw the bright disk of the moon centered ; in the screen. Searching, he increased ; magnification until the moon filled the whole ; screen. Then he saw it, a small dark spot, ; meaning a cold, an unusually cold, ship.
; ; As he converged on his quarry, consuming ; obscene amounts of fuel to slow down, the ; minicruiser loomed larger on his screen. The ; big parabolic nozzles were, indeed, quite ; cold, indicating that the engine failure must ; have occurred some time ago. The cruiser was ; not moving fast, as it should have been, had ; its destination been the moon. Rather, it ; was simply falling, slowly at this distance, ; toward the moon. As he approached, his radar ; started getting a skin return. His tracker ; predicted impact with the moon in fifteen ; hours, if he did not get it repaired and ; accelerating, first. His calls on the ; short-range frequencies bore no fruit. If he ; called on 911, just to ask if anyone was ; home, he'd risk a citation from the FAA for ; improper radio procedures. Slipping slowly ; over the stricken craft, Jim lowered his ; fueling pipe. Between the two propulsion ; elements should be a groove with a coupling ; receptacle. Yes. Expertly, he slid the end ; of his probe along the groove, then extended ; it to strike home. The receptacle gripped ; his probe, seemed to pull it inward, so his ; ship lay alongside the other, belly to belly. ; Should she need it, he could now send several ; energizing squirts into the seemingly passive ; Model 90. The lips of his docking port ; kissed the Model 90's and sealed, first time. ; Jim put his ship's systems on standby and ; checked for pressure on the 90's airlock. ; Artfully, he cycled the conjoined ports and ; insinuated himself into the other ship.
; ; It was dark. He was about to switch on ; his helmet light when a pleasant feminine ; voice spoke. He could hear it through his ; helmet, there being normal pressure in the ; cabin. "Please, no lights, not yet," it ; said.
; ; "Damn," Jim thought to himself, "another ; bored housewife." Then he said out loud, "I ; suppose you're not decently dressed."
; ; "Something like that. Why don't you ; just make yourself comfortable. Take off ; that awful pressure suit."
; ; "Lady, I know the drill," he said, ; removing his helmet. "First I fix your ; Maytack, probably something simple, like ; resetting the main circuit breaker, which is, ; by the way, on page 1 of your emergency ; procedures manual. It will light up and ; speak to you, if you'll hit the red button ; near the edge, about eleven o'clock, on the ; main instrument panel. When the ship is ; fixed, then you'll ask me to do some other ; little chore, like open a clogged pipe for ; you. Am I right?"
; ; "Remarkably perceptive. I am lucky to ; have found a superior specimen. Tell me, what ; is your name?"
; ; "James Phipps. You might as well call ; me Jim."
; ; "Friendly. Cooperative."
; ; "The customer is always right. I aim to ; please."
; ; "How very nice. I won't have to go ; through so many explanations, or otherwise ; convince you to cooperate. Don't worry about ; the ship. What I want won't take long. But ; I won't take no for an answer. Do we ; understand each other?"
; ; "I think so," Jim answered. Slowly, the ; cabin lights brightened, just enough for Jim ; to see. For a moment, he was speechless. ; Before him was a 3-D image of Yvonne van der ; Kunt, practically naked. She was wearing ; only a slinky pink teddy. It covered the ; parts the law required to be covered in ; public, but it didn't conceal a thing. ; "Yes," said Jim, "I'll cooperate, if what you ; want is what I hope you want." The image ; approached. A hand reached out and stroked ; Jim's cheek, placed a finger on his lips. It ; was no image; it was real. Surprised, Jim ; twitched, and, in zero gee as they were, they ; slowly separated. "You are not the real ; Yvonne van der Kunt, are you? That would be ; too much. What is your real name?"
; ; "You couldn't pronounce it, so you might ; as well call me Yvonne. Why don't you let me ; help you out of that pressure suit?" She ; moved toward him. He couldn't figure out how ; she did that, since she didn't push off from ; anything. He couldn't do a thing but drift, ; until he came to a wall or hand-hold to ; stabilize himself. Her fingers flew over his ; suit, tripping the latches and undoing the ; zips.
; ; "Wow, you're fast," he said.
; ; "I'm specially trained."
; ; The suit came off and, seemingly only ; seconds later, his Maytack uniform joined it, ; floating in free fall in the cabin. "You ; don't waste time," he said.
; ; "No, I don't. I don't have a lot of ; time, actually, but you can have all you ; need, to enjoy me." She ran her fingers ; lightly along his thigh and up over his ; belly, pausing en route to see that his ; functional members were ready for action. ; They were, for she was lovely, and Jim had, ; after all, been trained by years of ; "repairing" things to respond when a Maytack ; owner was in distress. "I am," she said, ; "what you call a virgin. I have been ; instructed in what I'm supposed to do. That ; is, I'm familiar with the anatomical ; mechanics, but you will have to help me with ; the details of technique. Is that all ; right?"
; ; "Yvonne, am I dreaming this?" She ; kissed him on the mouth, sucking slightly so ; that the contact would not push him away. ; "You can't be real," he said, holding her at ; an arm's length. "You can't be that ; beautiful. You can't be a virgin, not at ; your age. Where are you from?"
; ; "You don't want to make love to me?" she ; replied.
; ; "Hey, a Maytack repairman has to do what ; he has to do, and I'm sure I'd enjoy it. But ; you are something else. I mean, I'm not sure ; I've been trained to fix what you need ; fixing."
; ; "You don't do virgins?"
; ; "I didn't say that, though, come to ; think of it, I don't think I ever have."
; ; "But you are willing to engage in sexual ; union with me? I'm very concerned that what ; happens is voluntary on your part."
; ; "I don't understand how a beautiful ; woman like you can (a) be a virgin. Do you ; have some awful disease or something? Then, ; (b) how come you are out here in cis-lunar ; space in an ancient Maytack, and (c) want to ; have sex with a stranger you have never met ; before? Will you explain that? And tell me ; where you come from."
; ; "If I tell you, will you promise to ; copulate with me, anyway?"
; ; Jim paused a second, trying to think. ; It was very difficult. Yvonne was incredibly ; beautiful. Her face was perfect, with huge ; eyes and a straight narrow nose, prominent ; cheekbones, a voluptuous mouth, a halo of ; long blonde hair which, in weightlessness, ; made her look like a sunrise. Swelling ; breasts strained to be out of that teddy, and ; the nipples were prominent. She had a narrow ; waist, a trim tum, and shapely hips, a little ; wider than currently fashionable, ; covergirlwise, but undeniably womanly, and ; her tapered legs went on and on. The little ; pink teddy, trimmed with lace, pulled taut in ; her crotch, folding inward where her flesh ; did the same. "Do you promise to be totally ; honest with me, to answer all my questions?"
; ; "Yes, if you promise to fuck me. Is ; that the right word?"
; ; "I'll do it, but let's call it making ; love."
; ; "Agreed. Whatever you say. Do we do it ; here? Or would you prefer the sleeping ; cabin?"
; ; "Both." He put his arms around her, ; necessary in zero gee, and kissed her, ; passionately. She seemed to be trying to ; imitate him, but she was convincingly ; virginal. With one hand, holding her ; shoulder with the other, for Newton's Third ; Law cannot be broken, he slipped the top of ; the teddy downward, letting her breasts pop ; out in all their monumental splendor. ; Careful not to let her go, he planted kisses ; on them both, then tugged at the lower half, ; until there was some slack at the crotch. He ; hooked a big toe through a leg hole and, with ; his hands in her armpits, lifted her out. It ; clung a bit, around her ankles, but she ; helped him loosen it, and the teddy sailed ; across the room until, slowed by air ; friction, it almost hung in the air of the ; cabin. Jim hugged her to him, kissing her, ; mashing his chest against those fabulous ; breasts, and feeling her pubic hair caress ; his tender tool. For a long time, he ; luxuriated in the sensations he felt, an ; incredible euphoria. He was making love with ; an Yvonne van der Kunt look-alike! A dream, ; an at most once in a lifetime experience. ; "Let's find that bedroom," he whispered, ; pushing off from the cabin wall in the right ; general direction.
; ; He wasn't used to zero gee, and even ; less used to maneuvering with a lovely woman ; in his arms, so they ended up tumbling in the ; air, and his head fetched up against the ; floor with a thump. "Here, let me help," she ; said. Taking hold of a convenient part of ; him, which was slender enough to put her ; fingers around and close to his center of ; mass, she gracefully towed him toward the ; sleeping compartment curtain. She was ; impossibly adroit in zero gee. The curtain ; dilated, and she pulled him through. "Do you ; want the lights on?" she asked.
; ; "Sure, I love the look of you." The ; lights came on, seemingly by themselves.
; ; "What do we do now?" she asked. "You ; have more experience than I, and I want you ; to get maximum enjoyment from this." Jim ; looked around the tiny compartment. The bed ; seemed in order, the thin restraining nets ; just the thing to keep them from flying about ; the room when things got passionate. Jim ; went hand over hand, using the familiar ; standard handholds, until he was supine on ; the bed. "What do I do?" the lovely Yvonne ; asked, the perfect ingenue.
; ; "Have you ever seen Between Purple ; Sheets?"
; ; "Yes, I'm familiar with it. They...I ; tried to mold myself after the actress."
; ; "I don't know what you looked like ; before, but you certainly look like Yvonne ; van der Kunt now," he said, almost ; reverentially. "Let's re-enact the climactic ; scene, where they are on the yacht, anchored ; off Belize. This bed is similar, isn't it? ; Of course, there's the problem of zero gee."
; ; "No problem. You want the dialog, too?"
; ; "Why not? I'll call you Wanda, if I can ; remember to."
; ; She seemed to fly toward him, burying ; her face in his crotch. "Oh, Creighton, I ; love (slurp, slurp) the taste of you."
; ; "Oh, Wanda," he responded, as he ; caressed her buttocks, "you do good things to ; me."
; ; The original scene took 23 minutes. The ; recreation, without the benefit of editing ; and with a few "retakes," took 45. Breathing ; heavily, Jim stretched out and said, "Oh, ; Yvonne, you make a wonderful Wanda." He ; fingered his side, just below his ribs. ; There was a numb place. When he looked, ; there seemed to be a thin, pink line, almost ; like a scar. "Yvonne, have you ever seen ; Martha Makes Mars?"
; ; "Yes, but haven't you had enough? I ; have."
; ; "With you, I could never get enough, ; though it might take some of your special ; attention to sharpen my tool right now. Give ; me half an hour, and I'll be ready again." ; He cupped one perfect breast in his hand, ; idly thumbing the nipple. His other hand ; stroked her inner thigh, where a slight ; stickiness was trophy of his manhood.
; ; "We contracted to perform sexual union. ; We did. Why do it again?"
; ; "Why do it the first time? You went to ; a great deal of effort to get me here. Why? ; Where are you from?"
; ; She sighed and pulled away from him, ; sitting astride his legs in the cramped ; cubicle. Only the net draped across them ; held her there; there was no weight on his ; legs. Jim reached out and played with her, ; tickling her inner thigh, twirling the damp ; hairs into little cones, running his finger ; up and down her slippery groove. "Yes," she ; said, "I promised to answer your questions. ; I am not from Earth. You would call me an ; alien or an extraterrestrial." In his ; contented state, Jim did not mind at all. He ; was curious why she did not respond with ; contractions, as she had before, when he ; probed her receptacle. "I am a construct ; perhaps you might even say a cyborg, ; patterned after a female depicted in your ; electromagnetic transmissions."
; ; "OK, I'm not prejudiced, just because ; you are not human. Interspecies sexual ; contact is not unknown, just not talked ; about. Shepherds have their sheep. Some ; women keep dogs. A psychiatrist I heard of ; used to fuck his pet goose. Dolphins, ; they're a randy lot. I heard about a female ; graduate student, marine biology, who had an ; affair with a bottlenose dolphin. Well, not ; really an affair, sort of mutual masturbation ; in a big aquarium tank. So, even though I've ; never done it before, I'm not shocked or ; anything. But why?"
; ; "We want to make contact with Earth, ; with its people. We have studied you for a ; long time, learned your languages from ; short-wave broadcasts, what you call TV."
; ; "Why not just land and announce ; yourselves?"
; ; "It's not that simple. We don't know ; what your reaction would be. Much of your ; TV, admittedly fiction, has the Air Force or ; Army attacking alien spacecraft. We obtained ; an ancient Maytack and staged an emergency to ; lure someone to contact us. We thought it ; would be better to make first contact in, so ; to speak, neutral territory, under somewhat ; pleasant conditions, so there would be at ; least one human who wasn't prejudiced against ; us, who might be able to tell the authorities ; that he has met us, and we are friendly."
; ; "That seems reasonable. I'll be happy ; to tell them about you, though they might not ; believe me. What would you have done if a ; woman had come, instead of a man?"
; ; "We were prepared for that eventuality. ; And I am certain, when the time comes to tell ; the authorities, that they will believe you. ; You will be able to show them one of us."
; ; "You are coming back to Earth with me?"
; ; "No. Well, in a manner of speaking, ; yes. I cannot go. I am not representative ; of my species. I look too human."
; ; "Well, how about one of your regular ; kind, then. I'd be happy to introduce them. ; I'd probably be on network TV, get invited to ; the White House, get a fat book contract. ; Yeah."
; ; "In our normal form, our immune systems ; would react too strongly to substances in ; your Earth environment. No, we will need ; your cooperation to overcome that. Here, we ; want you to have these." She sprang from his ; lap, so fast his finger went pop as it ; extracted from her receptacle. She returned ; with two large plastic sacks. Though ; weightless, they were obviously massive, and ; several objects with square corners stretched ; the plastic from within. "This is for you. ; I am given to understand you can live ; comfortably with this, without having to work ; for Maytack. That will give you time to ; serve our emissary."
; ; "What is it?"
; ; "Oh, gold, of course. Isn't that how ; you Earth people measure wealth? If you ; invest it and live off the income, you should ; be able to afford all you will need."
; ; "Maytack doesn't allow its repairmen to ; accept gratuities. Nothing substantial. ; Nothing you can't eat, drink, or screw on the ; spot."
; ; "So quit your job with Maytack. You can ; afford it."
; ; "That's great, but I don't understand.
; ; Why do you need me, then, to serve your
; ; emissary?"
; ; "In order for our emissary to withstand ; Earth's antigens without violent responses, ; sickness, it is necessary that she grow up in ; an Earthly environment from the earliest ; stages of development. She will need a ; father to care for her and teach her Earth ; ways, Earth language, feed her Earth food and ; expose her to Earth diseases, so that she ; will be at home on your planet. Then, when ; she is mostly grown, we will take her for a ; while, to complete her education. You may ; regard the gold as prepaid child support ; payments."
; ; "Hey, Yvonne, I don't know if I'm ; prepared to do all this. Is it too late to ; back out?"
; ; "Yes, Jim. You agreed to copulate with ; me. You did it your way. I did it mine. ; It's too late to back out now, Jim. You are ; pregnant." ; ;