; ; Copyright (C) 2004 by Felix Lance Falkon; you may save or make ; paper copies for your own use; do not post, repost, publish, ; or archive elsewhere without the author's express permission.
; ; "Why do I need something to make customers tell me their ; troubles?" Mickey asked. "They do that anyway -- that's what I'm ; here for. Otherwise all the owner would need is one of those new- ; fangled dispensing machines and a couple of bimbos to hand out ; the drinks and take in the cash."
; ; "Ah, but one sniff of this, and they'll tell you the ; absolute truth." The all-too-ordinary-looking man pushed the ; flower that looked like a rose but wasn't, and the vase that held ; it, back towards Mickey. "Just try it. If you don't like it, you ; can always . . ." The man stopped as Mickey scowled.
; ; Mickey said, "No obligation? It'll be on consignment -- if I ; don't like it, I owe nothing. Okay?"
; ; "This is between businessmen -- surely you can trust Me."
; ; Mickey choked down a laugh. Instead, he said, "The terms: ; say them."
; ; "Oh, all right. No obligation. It's on consignment. If you ; don't like it, you owe Me nothing." The all-too-ordinary-looking ; man took a deep breath. "Is that satisfactory?"
; ; "It is now."
; ; The man nodded, turned, and limped toward the door.
; ; Two young toughs, just coming into the room, gave the man ; plenty of clearance, them strolled just a bit too casually up to ; the bar.
; ; "Who was that?" asked one of the toughs. "There is something ; about that dude . . ."
; ; "You really don't want to know," said Mickey. "What can I ; get for you lads?"
; ; The second tough asked, "How come we never noticed this ; place before? We drove by just a couple nights ago, and . . ."
; ; "We weren't here a couple of nights ago," said Mickey.
; ; "You built this place that fast?" The first tough glanced ; around the room. "This place sure doesn't look new."
; ; "It isn't," said Mickey. "We don't stay in one place for ; long." He turned away, grabbed a couple of bottles, opend them, ; grabbed a couple of glasses, turned back, and slid bottles and ; glasses to the toughs. "This round's on the house. And . . ." He ; pushed the vase with the flower forward. "Smell this. It's -- ; it's some kind of scented blossom."
; ; One of the toughs sniffed, then the other did. The first ; said, "Doesn't smell like any rose I ever sniffed at." He looked ; puzzled, then said, "I'm Rocko. M' pal's named Tony. T' tell the ; fuckin' truth, we came in t' clean your cash register the fuck ; out, but --" He glanced around the barroom, still almost empty.
; ; "It's early," said Mickey. "There's hardly anything in the ; till yet. But if you come back closer to closing time -- or you ; can just go sit in that booth --" He pointed. "-- the one at the ; end, with the `reserved' sign. Nobody'll bother you there. I'll ; even send Dolly over with a refill later on."
; ; They picked up their bottles and glasses, and went.
; ; ----------
; ; A few minutes later, Mickey saw a good-looking pair of ; normals enter the barroom. They looked around hesitantly, then ; marched up to the bar.
; ; "Sir and mistress, what can I get you?"
; ; "Just -- do you have any ginger beer?" asked the male half ; of the pair.
; ; "This is a bar; we have everything." Mickey poured two ; ginger beers. The pair sipped, put their glasses down, and ; glanced at each other.
; ; "Uh -- I'm Biff, and this is my sister, Gloria." Biff pulled ; out a twenty, laid it on the bar. The thing is, we're looking for ; some --"
; ; "Oh, look," said Gloria, picking up the vase with the ; blossom. "It's almost a rose, but it isn't. And the aroma --" She ; sniffed, offered the flower to Biff, who sniffed it too.
; ; "You were saying?" asked Mickey.
; ; "Well, we're looking for --" He turned to Gloria.
; ; "We should have come in separately," she said.
; ; "You're looking for someone to spend the evening with," ; suggested Mickey. "Two someones?"
; ; "Exactly," said Biff. "Only -- only I'm gay and she isn't, ; so . . ."
; ; "No problem, no problem at all." He trotted to the end of ; the bar and told Henretta, one of the bar's two waitresses, "Go ; get Andy and Alice -- they're around here somewhere. And a moment ; later, he saw those two -- a handsome young man, an equally ; handsome woman -- approach.
; ; "But --" Biff said. "I meant . . ."
; ; "No problem at all," said Mickey. "Andy, I'd like you to ; meet Gloria. And Al -- yes, you can be Al now -- I'd like you to ; meet Biff. They're looking for -- well, you four can work that ; out for yourselves." And by the time the handsome young woman ; named Alice reached Biff, she had become Al, a young man just as ; handsome as Andy.
; ; "Wow!" said Biff. "Did I just see what I thought I saw?"
; ; Al grinned; Gloria and Andy, already arm in arm, laughed. ; Mickey explained: "They're succubi. Or incubi, depending. If you ; wanted to end it all . . ."
; ; He paused; Biff and Gloria shook their heads firmly.
; ; ". . . they could take you all the way. As it is -- well, ; it'll be a very pleasant evening, even though you'll feel pretty ; tired and hungry when the night's over. You might want to use one ; of our private booths -- right over there." He pointed.
; ; Biff turned to Al and asked, "Can I get you anything before ; we -- go?"
; ; "Just your sexy selves," said Al. "You'll like the way their ; private rooms are . . ." His voice faded as he led the other ; three away from the bar.
; ; "That worked out nicely," said Henretta.
; ; "Maybe a touch quicker than it would have anyway," said ; Mickey.
; ; "I don't remember seeing that before," she said, reaching ; for the fragrant blossom's vase.
; ; "Don't," said Mickey, "unless you want to tell me more about ; yourself than either of us would be comfortable with."
; ; "Oh, you'd be surprised." She batted her eyes at him, but ; pulled her hand back from the vase.
; ; "Is that what that thing does?" asked a short, powerfully ; built, broad-shouldered man of around thirty, stepping from ; behind Henretta to the bar.
; ; "I didn't see you come in. I'm Mike."
; ; "Steve." They shook hands. "Competition body-builder --"
; ; "I can see that," said Mike.
; ; "You may have heard my name?"
; ; "Nope. Sorry. Is that --?"
; ; "-- what my problem is? Pretty much. Bartenders are supposed ; to solve problems --"
; ; "Or at least listen to them," said Mike. "Take a sniff?" He ; offered the fragrant blossom.
; ; Steve shook his head. "Don't need it. Look." He ripped off ; his shirt, baring a spendidly muscled chest and arms; tore off ; his trousers and briefs, revealing thick, bulging thighs and ; calves, and a lusty, fast-hardening sexual shaft. He slapped his ; lean, hard stomach. "But I'm just five feet four, and all the ; contests are bein' won by six-footers. And what's worse, one of ; the judges at the Mister A contest last month told me they were ; downgradin' me for being overdeveloped. Me, overdeveloped? Most ; of the things guys have been takin' make their guts grow -- look ; at me -- I'm still just 27 inches around the waist. As for my ; cock, it's a full eleven inches when it's up hard, like now -- ; see?"
; ; "And your problem is?" Mickey asked. "With a body like ; that . . ."
; ; "With a body like this, I'm stuck in a dead end. There's no ; money in bein' third or forth in the bid contests, and I've spent ; too much time in the gym, buildin' myself up, to start all over ; doing somethin' else -- you asked the two that were just ahead of ; me about `goin' all the way,' didn't you? Well . . ."
; ; " `All the way' -- as in --"
; ; "Endin' it all. Yeah. Got anything inter'stin' on tap?"
; ; "As a matter of fact, I do. Al and Andy are booked for the ; evening, but --"
; ; "I'm on my way," said Henretta.
; ; "Amd while she's getting them -- take a sniff of this and ; see if you want to add anything."
; ; "Well, okay." Steve picked up the blossom by its vase, ; inhaled, then put it down. "Makes me want to tell you what I ust ; did all over again, but there isn't much point in that, is ; there?"
; ; "Nope. Just checking. Here's Henretta with the solution to ; your problem -- several solutions, in fact," Mike said as a ; couple and five children of assorted sizes followed Henretta to ; the bar. "Steve, these are -- this is the Bolang family -- Miz ; Bolang, Mr. Bolang, this is Steve."
; ; "Pleased to meet you, I'm sure," said Miz Bolang, patting ; Steve on the shoulders. "All nice, lean meat, too."
; ; "And you are -- werewolves?" Steve asked, as the Bolangs, ; children and all, began to strip their increasingly hairy bodies.
; ; "Were-hyenas," said Mr. Bolang. "We'll grind up your bones ; as well, so that nothing at all will go to waste."
; ; "But Daddy," said the largest of the children, "in school, ; they were telling us about the growth hormones and how they are ; bad for you if your feed has any in it. And the way he looks --"
; ; Mr. Bolang held up a forepaw. "You have been taking ; something?"
; ; "Not for a couple of months," said Steve, "and what I was ; taking clears out of the system in just a few days."
; ; "There's no way I'm going to take any chances with my ; children's health," she said, picking up her skirt and beginning ; to change back into a human woman.
; ; "Aw, Mom," whined the four smallest Bolang children.
; ; "How about having Vlad check him out?" asked Henretta.
; ; "I didn't realize he was here," said Mickey. "Go get him."
; ; But Henretta was already scampering away. A moment later, ; she led a tall, black-haired man in a long, black cloak to the ; bar.
; ; "Vlad, we'd like for you to check someone out. This is ; Steve --" The two shook hands. "-- and Steve, Vlad. He'll taste a ; little of your blood. and --"
; ; "A little?" Vlad asked. "A big, lusty stud like this can ; only spare a little blood?"
; ; "Now, now, you have to leave some for the Bolangs -- they ; like their meat juicy, and of course, they're teaching their ; children how to eat their prey alive."
; ; "If I can horn in for a moment," said Steve, "Vlad, how are ; you going to draw my blood? Do you bite me in the neck?"
; ; "Certainly not -- what fun would that be?" The vampire ; stroked Steve's still-rigid prong. "Just a few little nips and a ; bit of heavy sucking, and I'll have enough of your blood to ; analyse for Miz Bolang as I digest it."
; ; "Well, in that case, I think you should take a whole quart."
; ; "My boy, you are too generous -- but I accept your offer. ; Now, to avoid embarrassing you by my being clothed while you are ; so deliciously naked . . ." As Mike watched, Vlad's clothing, ; cloak and all, faded into mist, revealing the vampire's sharply ; defined muscles and his own stiffening prong.
; ; "Would you mind moving off to the side?" asked Mickey. "In ; fact, how about over there, on the part of the floor that's ; tiled? I know you're all careful eaters, but if any blood gets ; spilled -- there, that's just right. He watched Steve lie down, ; saw the naked vampire stretch himself out on Steve's muscular ; legs, saw Vlad take Steve's prize prong in his mouth and start ; sucking the young Hercules' blood.
; ; Steve looked up, grinned at Mickey -- looking happy at last ; -- then turned his attention back to feeding Vlad.
; ; ----------
; ; By then, a half-dozen customers, human and otherwise, were ; waiting at the bar. Mickey served them quickly, then asked Dolly, ; the other waitress, "How are our customers doing in the ; `reserved' booth?"
; ; Dolly beckoned wordlessly; Mickey followed her to the booth ; and opened the curtains.
; ; Rocko and Tony had both stripped; their cloths lay on the ; floor of the booth, being digested by the mint-green jelly who had ; reserved the booth. Their feet were being eaten too, and the ; jelly was slowly working its way up their well-muscled calves, ; while they pumped their rigid shafts.
; ; "How's th' fuck ya doin'?" asked Rocko, still pumping.
; ; "Business picking up a bit. How about you two?"
; ; "It's kinda weird, but gettin' the fuck eaten alive like ; this is kind of a turn on," said Tony. "The the jelly here tole ; us it'll be even better when it gets to our fuckin' balls and ; starts eatin' them."
; ; The mint-green jelly formed a couple of eyes and a mouth, ; winked at the bar-tender, and said, "My thanks for a delightful ; supper, Mickey. There was a bit of a misunderstanding at first, ; but they settled right down when I ate through their boots and ; started on them, and now they've been entertaining me with tales ; of some of their recent amatory conquests while I dine upon their ; well-muscled selves."
; ; "Yeah? Last place we was in stir had real fuckin' some neat ; weight-liftin' stuff, and there wasn't much els t' do, so we ; bulked up a bit." said Rocko. "All good, solid muscle, too," he ; added, patting his broad chest. Anyway, I telling the jelly 'bout ; th' time Tony an' me was rapin' this dude, with both our cocks ; crammed into his ass at the same time, and he said . . ."
; ; Mickey listened for a few minutes, then quietly let the ; curtain swing back into place and withdrew.
; ; ----------
; ; Only two customers at the bar this time, both ghostly ; wraiths. Mickey picked up the spray bottle of gin, sent a mist of ; gin at each, then watched them drift away. Henretta helped watch ; them go, then said, "I think it's time for another round of ; ginger beer for the foursome in one of the private booths, but ; since Andy and Al are both male at the moment and Biff already ; is --"
; ; "Good of you to think of that," said Mickey. "Hold down the ; bar -- I'll go." He loaded a tray, stepped around the end of the ; bar, and strode toward the booths. He tapped quietly on the side ; of the booth and asked "Ready for refills?"
; ; "Come in, come in," Biff called from inside the booth.
; ; Inside, Mickey found all four naked, and their clothing hung ; neatly on the coat-hooks. Biff, mounted on -- and in -- Al, ; looked up. Without missing a stroke, he said, "You're just in ; time; we were starting to get thirsty."
; ; Gloria, sitting astride Andy's naked body and impaled on his ; shaft, continued her own rhythm as she wordlessly reached for a ; glass, then held it steady as Mickey poured it half full. He put ; the tray on a handy shelf.
; ; Biff said -- as he kept on fucking -- "I can't quite manage ; a glass in this position, but --"
; ; Mickey handed Biff an open bottle. Biff gulped down half, ; then finished the rest more slowly.
; ; "Ahh," sighed Biff, his well-muscle body thrusting into Andy ; as they fucked, "I needed that." He grinned at Mickey again. "I ; shoot a load into Andy here, but instead of running dry, I just ; keep on going, and them I'm pumped another load into him -- and ; then another." He sighed. "It's a temptation to keep on going, ; but --" He glanced at his watch. "-- we just have time for a ; quickie before supper at the Meltons'."
; ; Gloria nodded. "But maybe tomorrow . . ."
; ; Mickey let the curtain fall and strolled back to the bar.
; ; ----------
; ; Steve, the body-builder, lay on the tiled section of the ; floor, shoulders propped up by his elbows. His eleven-inch shaft ; still stood erect, but his legs -- bones and all -- had evidently ; just been eaten by the Bolangs -- now a pack of hyenas of various ; sizes. Steve was saying, "Now, there are four of you pups, so two ; of you hafta share my prong. The other two can eat one ball ; apiece. So -- who's the oldest?"
; ; One of the pups stepped forward and raised a paw.
; ; "Okay -- you can have the outer half, along with the tip -- ; that's it -- just bite it off -- there. Now the second oldest?"
; ; Mickey watched the next hyena pup chew off the rest of ; Steve's shaft, right down to the base.
; ; "And the next?"
; ; "They're twins," Miz Bolang explained.
; ; "That works out fine -- my balls are pretty much a matched ; pair, so . . ."
; ; Mickey caught Steve's eye and winked. Steve winked back, then ; turned his attention back to being eaten alive, while ; Mickey returned to his station behind the bar.
; ; ----------
; ; The rest of the evening was quiet. The sounds of the Bolangs ; crunching up Steve's bones ended. A quick trip to the `reserved' ; booth showed it untenanted except for a somewhat larger puddle of ; mint-green jelly.
; ; Another normal showed up around eleven -- a victim of ; unrequited love, the young man wailed. Mickey gave him a wine ; cooler, which the victim drank in three swallows. Mickey ; described, then pointed out a giant pitcher plant in the far ; corner. Still sniffling, the victim stripped, theatrically ; displaying a lean, athletic body, then walked across the room and ; climbed into the carnivorous plant, which promptly started ; digesting him, feet first.
; ; The victim's lover, a sturdy, muscular lad in his late ; teens, showed up a few minutes later. "It was all a simple ; misunderstanding," he insisted. Mickey poured another wine ; cooler, which the lad downed in a single gulp. Mickey pointed out ; a second carnivorous plant in the same far corner. The lad ; stripped, stalked across the room just as theatrically ; as the first one had, worked himself into the midst of the second ; man-eating plant, and started arguing with his lover over whose ; fault it was that both of them were now being eaten alive.
; ; ----------
; ; And a few minutes after that, the all-too-ordinary man ; limped back into the bar. A centuar backed hastily out of the ; ordinary-looking man's path; another exotic -- with the horns of ; a bull, the naked body of a weight-lifter, and a set of prong and ; balls befitting a stallion -- broke off a conversation with ; Mickey and backed away from the bar.
; ; "Now do you admit that this -- this fragrant blossom is ; ust what the Exotics Bar's barkeeper needs?"
; ; "I admit nothing of the kind," said Mickey, wiping his hands ; on a towel. "Those last two -- You were spying, were You not? -- ; I handled without having to ask any questions at all. As for the ; body-builder and the two young hoods --" He waved his hand ; dismissively. "-- it might have taken a little longer to plumb ; their wells of woes, but having this truth-evoking blossom on ; hand would take all the fun out of bar-tending. So -- thanks but ; no." He pushed the vase, fragrant blossom and all, back to the ; all-too-ordinary-looking man. "Care for a drink before You go? On ; the house -- no obilgation? No, well, do have a pleasant evening ; anyway." ; ;