Amy Awakes: A Fantasy Tale, Part 1

by St. Ruth

It's going to be a long one, be patient, I will try to make it worth your while.

The branches of the monsterio fern slapped noisily against my kitchen window as the rain continued to hammer against the glass pane whilst I stood watching the car that had just pulled into my drive.

A silver Mercedes convertible with its soft black roof buttoned down against the rain squalls sat idling just outside my back door, whilst the thirty something blonde woman behind the wheel fussed about with the small passenger sitting next to her. Haley leant over, smoothing her daughter's hair and buttoning up the top of the little yellow rain cape she was wearing. I smiled as they giggled soundlessly, wondering what the joke was, and sipped my tea as the pair sat looking into each other's eyes. Haley now had her face turned away from me as she said goodbye to her 8 year old, but I could clearly see little Geraldine nodding her head earnestly, a serious look on her face, then her little features burst into a wide smile as her mum said something that made her giggle. Whilst Gerri unbuckled herself from her seat belt Haley reached over into the back seat and grabbed the small black padded nylon case that held her daughters Ukulele, then leaning over her daughter unlocked the passenger side door so her daughter could slip out of the car. Slamming the car door the little figure ran around the front of the idling vehicle through the rain to the covered porch outside my back door, only for her mum to slide down her driver's side window and laughingly call out "Gerri, you forgot your uke honey."

Giggling the little girl ran down the 3 steps and splashed her little yellow boots in the puddle at the bottom and ran over to the car as Haley passed the small case through the window. Grabbing the case with both hands she looked up at her mum, who, glancing around quickly, nervously all of a sudden, made a puckering motion with her mouth, clearly signalling to the little girl she wanted a kiss goodbye. Gerri pressed herself against the car door and turned her face up to her mother as they pressed their lips together in an innocent little kiss, the type of kiss that mums have been giving their kids as they hurried off to school for ever. As I drained the last of my tea and placed the empty cup in the sink I noticed however that the innocent little kiss was now about 5 seconds old and showing no signs of stopping. Gerri's rain cape and hood hid all but the peripherals of her mother Haley's face from my view but clearly, from her head movement, it appeared that the little girl was not only being kissed more deeply than an innocent "peck" but was kissing her mother back. My breathe caught in my throat as I watched the scene before me. Suddenly the kiss ended abruptly with Haley glancing around and looking in the rear view mirror as if to make sure no one had noticed what had just taken place.

I hurried down the stairs too my back door, flicking the porch light on as I went to let Haley know I was coming. I opened the door to find a gorgeous little face framed with strawberry blonde hair peeking out from her hood, beaming up at me.

"Hello Miss Franklyn" she said. Looking down and smiling at the little girl I replied " Hello Gerri, come in out of the cold" I told her as she slid past me, kicked off her wet shoes and hung her cape on the handle of my umbrella that was sitting in its stand against the wall.

I waved to Haley "Hi Hales, messy day isn't it. " Haley looked up at me, a very pretty, and very well manicured and maintained 35 year old, married to Jim Long, a successful property developer. Just one of the many pampered, idly wealthy housewives who lived in Mosman, by Sydney harbour.

"It's awful" she laughed," this weather frizzes my hair something terrible.' "Hey, I have a favour Amy, Jim is getting a corporate award tonight so I'm getting my hair and nails done, I may be a couple of hours, is it ok if Gerri hangs around for a bit after her lesson until I'm done ? If you're busy it's ok, I understand, I can maybe get one of my girlfriends to pick her up."

"Its fine Haley" I replied, "Gerri is my last lesson today so no hurry. Once we are done we can have some girlie time, we can do face masks and have a laugh."

"Oh she would just love that Amy, only don't let her anywhere near your wardrobe, she looooves dress ups and she will have all of your clothes everywhere if you let her."

"Ok" I said laughingly, "I won't say I wasn't warned. You go relax and enjoy, we'll be fine." At which point an exasperated voice from the top of the stairs yelled "Come on Miss Franklyn, I'm ready."

Looking over my shoulder at the little girl at the top of the stairs I smiled and nodded. Turning back toward her mother I smiled, "Ok, you take your time, and I will see you when you get back." "About 2:30" Haley said through her window. I glanced at my watch, two and a half hours. How was I going to entertain an 8 year old for two and a half hours? Oh well, the first 40 minutes were easy, let's just get that bit done first.

"That will be fine, drive safely, this weathers crazy" I smiled and waved as Hayley used the turning circle outside my back door to point her car the way she came. As she rolled past she leant over and waved, "Back soon" she mouthed silently as I watched her tail lights roll down the driveway.

I closed the back door and walked up the small flight of stairs to find Gerri sitting in her usual place by my piano, little legs swinging beneath her chair as she cradled her ukulele on her her lap.

"Ok missy", I said smiling at her ," What are we doing today, vocals or uke ?" Knowing full well that we did vocal training 4 days ago.

"UKE" she squealed. "We did vocals on Wednesday." "Of course we did, lucky you have such a good memory, what would I do without you?"

"You would forget everything', the little girl giggled, her brilliant green eyes shining.

"Ok then "I said as I picked up my baritone ukulele and sat opposite her " Uke it is. Now let's quickly tune up and refresh what we did last week and we can move onto some new chord shapes."

All of a sudden Gerri's face took on a serious look as she switched on the little tuner clipped to the top of her ukulele and began tuning its four strings while I placed my ipad on the music stand in front of her and opened today's lesson for her to see. "Ok, last week we did major 7th's in a blues shuffle. Let's quickly refresh that."

And so the lesson began. Just another lesson, with another kid, on another rainy day. Nothing special, after all, that's my job. 15 years as a live performer, travelling the world, doing things most people only dream of, but not quite "making it." Now just doing pub shows, singing covers of classic songs, making my 50k a year and bolstering that with music lessons. And whilst I did teach some adults, not many, but a couple, most of my lesson time went on children. Piano lessons, guitar lessons, vocal coaching. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, a lot of my lessons were a form of extended child minding, or for parents who believe their son will be the next Segovia, or their daughter the next Beyonce, when their child clearly had no discernible talent nor any desire to develop any. But for every 20 of those, you may get one Geraldine. Precociously talented, a quick learn, and ridiculously enthusiastic. A teachers dream, 40 minutes of "this is why I do it" twice a week. Having her for an extra couple of hours would be easy .... Wouldn't it?

2.

40 minutes later and we were near the end of her lesson. Minor scale learnt and 7 new minor chord shapes for her to master before next week's visit. She was such a quick study, her little brain soaking up everything I could throw at her, her little fingers quickly picking up the new shapes I was showing her. "You thirsty" I asked as I put my instrument down, stood up and walked over to the kitchen.

" Yes Miss Franklyn, just some water would be nice thank you."

Standing at the sink filling a glass from the filtered water dispenser I looked across the room at Geraldine Steep. 8 years old going on 25, strawberry blonde , almost ginger hair flowing down over her shoulders, 3ft of curiosity, energy and fun all rolled into one pint sized package. I walked toward her and held out the glass towards her. Zipping up her ukulele case she laid it carefully on the ground next to her chair and took the proffered glass in both hands, and sipped carefully.

"You know honey, you don't have to call me Miss Franklyn, I would rather you just called me Amy, that's what my friends call me."

Gerri placed her water on the small table next to her. " But at school we are told we have to call all adults Mr or Miss, its being respectful." The serious look on her face made me smile, I bit my lip to stop from laughing. " And when you are at school, you should do exactly that Gerri, but this isn't school, isn't learning music more fun than school? "

" Oh yes, this is much more fun, school is boring except for science and art, oh and geography is fun, and maths too. But music is better than fun, its heaps cool Miss Franklin"

"Amy honey' .... "ok Miss Amy" ... I laughed , "That'll do for now, just so as you know though, calling me by my first name isn't disrespectful, I want to be your friend as well as your tutor, then you can tell all of your friends how cool Miss Amy is and I can teach them music too."

Gerri smiled and folded her arms across her chest " I already do Miss Amy, you are the nicest teacher I have." Nodding her head assertively as she spoke.

"Well thank you Geraldine, you are my favourite student too, you are very clever, and so talented, you are a pleasure to teach."

"So then, we have nearly 2 hours until your mum gets back, would you like to do karaoke, or maybe bake some scones, ooooorrrrrrrrr we can give each other facials and do our nails?"

Gerri paused as if deep in thought. " My mummy does facials with mud and green stuff, but I've never tried, she says I am beautiful enough, but it looks like fun."

"Ok then, facials it is." I motioned with my hand for her to follow me as we walked down the hall , through my bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom where I kept my face packs and scrubs. As we walked through the bedroom Gerri spotted my open wardrobe, and saw my stage costumes that I hadn't worn in years. Glitter and vinyl, leather pants, tasselled jackets, a life time of "look at me " apparel. "Wow Miss Amy, can I look in your wardrobe?" Remembering Haley's warning I smiled at her. " After we do facials and make ourselves beautiful Gerri, ok ?"

"But you're already beautiful Miss Amy, my Uncle Charlie said you and mummy were the prettiest girls in Mosman."

For the life of me I had no idea who "Uncle Charlie" was, or where he had seen me to make that kind of judgement. But that's the life of a musician, performing in front of complete strangers, who all feel like they know you but you have no idea who they are, the faceless drinking masses.

"Well Charlie must be a smart man " I said while motioning for her to sit on the side of the spa bath. " Because your mum IS very pretty, and so are YOU" I said tweaking her little nose and winking at her.

I opened the second draw in the cabinet under the sink and grabbed my tube of Dr Hauschka's cleansing cream and facing the mirror turned on the vanity tap until the water ran warm and moistened my face while Gerri watched intently. I applied a small amount of cleanser to my fingers and began to wash my face, as it bubbled on my skin I took a little of the foam and placed it on Gerri's nose, making her giggle. "What's that for?" she asked. It's just to clean any dirt off my face before we start. "Oh" she replied. " Should I wash mine too?".

I looked at her little face. She was flawlessly beautiful. " No sweetie, I think your face is clean enough, we older girls get dirt trapped in our pores and this helps us clean it out before we do our masks." I said as I leant over the sink and splashed warm water on my face, rinsing the cleansing cream off. Next I grabbed a clear bottle full of a milky looking fluid and took the lid off it, immediately a sweet scent filled the air. "That smells like coconuts" Gerri said smiling. " That's because it is," I answered returning her smile. "This is called an " exfoliant". It cleans the dead skin cells off your face. It was in fact my homemade version of an expensive product. Coconut oil mixed with a bit of white sugar to act as an abrasive, it was cheap and effective. " Do I have dead skin on my face?" Gerri said somewhat anxiously. As I applied the mixture to my face with small circular motions. "I don't think so sweetie, but you can have some little girls' exfoliant and we will make sure." I said grabbing the bottle of plain coconut oil, no sugar, and poured a little onto her fingers. Smiling as I watched her copying my actions, making little circles on her face as she rubbed the oil into her skin happily. While she was doing her oil routine I leant over and switched on my clothes steamer. "That's a steamer." Gerri said, " Our maid uses one of them on daddy's jackets." "You're absolutely right." I told her. "But we are going to use it on our faces. Now, let's rinse." I told her lifting her up so she could put her face over the sink and splash the warm water on her face. Lowering her down to the floor I grabbed a hand towel and knelt close to her and began to softly dry her face. I could still smell the coconut oil on her skin, a shiver ran up my arms and legs, goose bumps. Oh god she smelt good enough to eat.

"Ok now we are going to steam our faces to open our pores up." I said as I thought about how to we both were going to do this at the same time. Usually I just placed the steamer on the vanity and placed a towel over my head and let the steam work on my skin for a while but given our size difference that wasn't going to work. I said " wait here" and walked into the bedroom, grabbing two pillows off the bed. Placing one inside the empty spa bath and one on the bathroom floor.

"Ok, you jump in the spa and kneel on the cushion" I instructed as she clambered in, kneeling on the pillow as I sat on the floor directly opposite her. " Now we put our heads under a towel and steam our faces, but don't let yourself get too close to the steamer honey it may burn you if you do and your mummy will kill me." Leaning towards me she put her face into the gently rising steam cloud while I raised a large bath towel over our heads and then lowered it down over us, our own private little steam room. The light dimmed as the towel blocked out the daylight, not to darkness, but halfway there. Gerri giggled. "This is like camping in a tent." She said, the steam creating little beads of moisture on her face.

Our faces were now only inches apart. Her big green eyes blinking in the steam, her mouth slightly open. A bead of sweat formed on her lip, I resisted the urge to lick it off. " Oh my god, what am I thinking." I said to myself. I , like a lot of teen girls, had experimented at school, I had kissed a couple of girls, had even messed around with a female drummer I had been in a band with for a while. Nothing heavy, just kissing and a bit of alcohol induced groping, but I had never made love to another girl, never really wanted too. And I had certainly never fancied anything remotely taboo. By music industry standards I was pretty damned vanilla in matters sexual. But I definitely wanted to kiss her little mouth. My mind began replaying the scene outside my door where I watched her "pash" her mother. " What the hell was that about" I thought to myself.

Under the towel we were both giggling like, well, 8 year olds. Singing rounds of the Wiggles Big Red Car and practising our Destiny's Child harmonies whilst we sweated. The rivulets running down her now reddened face, her lips full. Her little pink tongue licking the sweat off her lips as we giggled at our mistakes a s we sang over each other until the timer went off. Wow, that 20 minutes flew by.

Raising the towel the cool air rushed in, cooling the steam, we both leant back and looked at each other. "Ok" I said, "now we have to rinse again." Helping her out of the spa, I once again got behind her and lifted her up so she could wash her face under the sink tap. My hands holding her up by her little hips. Looking down her tiny bottom was pressed against my groin. I wondered what it would look like naked. What the hell was wrong with me? She was 8 years old god dammit. She was my student. I was responsible for her care. I shouldn't be having those kind of thoughts about children. Should I?

I had grown up in a very liberal, loving home. My mother was French, a high school art teacher and my dad an accountant, they met while dad was studying in England and he brought her back to Australia with him, they were inseparable. We had gone to nude beaches occasionally and once while on holidays in France we had even gone to Cap D'age, a nudist village, where we had spent 4 days naked, playing at the beach, wandering around the small town, giggling at the sights we had seen. But there was never anything sexual about my upbringing. I had all of the usual boy crushes as a teenager. Had my heart broken by Danny Thompson, and had likely broken a few in return. So where were these feelings coming from? And why now ? And why Gerri ? Oh fuck, I thought, what the hell was happening to me? My introspection was broken by Gerri. " Are you ok Miss Amy ? " she asked softly. I snapped back to reality, lowering her feet to the floor. I was blushing furiously, feeling like she had read my thoughts. " Of course I am Sweetie." I replied hurriedly. Immediately lowering my face over the sink and splashing cool water on my face. " You looked like you had gone somewhere in your head." She said whilst patting her face dry. She sounded so mature. " Where did you hear that expression? " , I asked her as I held my hand out towards her for the towel. I felt her fingers brush mine as I took it. Those tingles again. " My daddy says that's how I look when I'm daydreaming or playing with my dolls. He says sometimes he doesn't know where I have gone." I knew exactly how that felt, I had no idea where I had gone, or where I was going.

I looked at the serious expression on her face and smiled. " I'm fine honey." I said, drying my face and throwing the towel over the side of the spa. I was just thinking happy thoughts". "Like what?" she asked. " Oh crap," I thought, "now I have to lie." "Ummm" I thought quickly. " I was just thinking about how I loved doing this kind of stuff with my mum when I was your age."

"Its lots of fun," she said happily." I like the steamer, I've never done that before."

"I'm glad you like it." I said touching her cheek gently, just for a second. " I love new experiences. Learning new things. It's exciting."

"Me too." She replied smiling. " Ok then Missy, now we get to play with MUD." I said loudly as Gerri did a little jump and clapped her hands together. Giggling she looked up at me. She was so beautiful. I just wanted to touch her face. To stroke her smooth cheeks, smell her soft hair, to kneel down and wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. I glanced at the time on the bathroom radio, 1:20 pm, still an hour or so before her mother returned.

Taking a pot of clay based facial mask I patted the side of the spa, signalling for Gerri to jump back up and sit on the edge. Opening the pot and placing the lid on the sink. I knelt on the pillow on the floor facing Gerri and placed my fingers in the pot and drew two circles on my face. Gerri burst out laughing. "You look like Kung Fu Panda!" she giggled. I laughed aloud with her. Handing her the small pot of facial mud I said " I want you to colour in the rest of my face with mud, just not inside the circles near my eyes, and I will colour in yours, then we let it dry, ok?"

Gerri immediately scooped up a pile of the mud and began rubbing it on my face, whilst I took a small amount on my fingertips and holding my breath, began to cover her angelic face with mud. Her skin was so soft, did my skin ever feel like that? I wondered to myself . She was so small, her face was completely covered before she was half way done with mine, so I knelt in front of her. Watching her concentrate, the mud drying on her forehead showing tiny little cracks where it was drying whilst she concentrated. She looked so funny, huge green eyes peering out from her now greenish brown face. I tried not to smile, not wanting to ruin the effects of the mask.

"My skin feels all tight." She said, "Like the mud's pulling on it"

"It's supposed to sweetie', I replied. " Try not to talk too much or smile or it will crack before we rinse it off."

We sat in silence. I stared at her face, wondering what her lips felt like. Whether she had put her tongue in her mother's mouth. Surely not. More than likely it was just some game they played between themselves. Some private joke. Haley wasn't that kind of woman. Was she? I mean, we all have our secrets, but surely not that. Gerri was brilliant, she was happy, she was contentment personified. Surely if she was being sexualised at home she wouldn't be any of those things. My mind raced. What to do? Holy crap, what if she was being abused ? Should I tell someone ? What if I was wrong ? Just then my reverie was broken by the chimes of my iphone. It was a client, they all had a special ring tone. The feeling of Gerri's little fingers on my skin was so intense. So soft, like she was finger-

painting. She would occasionally star into my eyes and we would lock onto each for a few seconds, each time a little longer, before I would self consciously look away, worried she could sense what I was thinking. I looked at her once more, staring into her eyes. I crinkled the corners of my eyes, trying to show her I was smiling at her. She responded by smiling broadly, completely cracking the mask I had so carefully applied on her little face. I couldn't help it, I laughed aloud and grabbed her shoulders giving her a little shake. " Oh you!" I giggled, look at what you've made me do. Reaching down and tickling her sides making her double up and squeal loudly, the sound reverberating against the bathroom tiles. We both collapsed in fits of laughter. I stood up and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her up and standing in front of the mirror. Her balanced against my hip, both of us looking ridiculous. We looked at our reflections and burst out laughing again. She leant back from me as she laughed causing me to slip my hand around her back and one under her little bottom to stop her falling back. I reeled her little body in against me and her arms went around my neck, her head tucking in against my shoulder as I tickled her again causing her to squirm against me. I could feel her warm breath against my neck. Our faces pressing together then apart as she wriggled in my arms. "So much for facials", I thought, looking at the cracked mud covering my face."Oh well," I sighed happily." Feeling this little angel squirming and giggling in my arms was so much more fun than I could ever as imagined.

I lowered the giggling child to the floor. " Let me check my phone honey, I have a message." Thinking it was likely a client wanting to know if they could squeeze in a lesson for an hour on a Saturday afternoon. "Couldn't find a babysitter eh?" I thought to myself as I padded down the hall in my socks.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my phone off the counter. The message was on the screen. It was Haley. Things were running behind at the salon and she would be an another hour or so, so sorry, was that ok? I quickly fired off a reply. Absolutely no problem, we were having fun doing face masks, and 3:30 was fine by me ?.

So that now gave us the best part of 2 hours to kill. I had an idea.

I walked back into the bathroom, Gerri was exactly where I left her, staring at herself in the mirror, pulling faces, watching the mud crack even more on her sweet face.

"Ok munchkin." I said. " Mummy is running late at the hairdresser and won't be here until 3:30."

Gerri looked at me in her reflection. " Mummy always takes ages getting ready, at least daddy says so."She smiled. Then looked at her in the mirror and once again began giggling at her reflection. Figuring the facial thing had run its race I once again turned the tap on a held Gerri up over the sink whilst she rinsed the mud off her face. Then I lowered her down and followed suit. Still the mask had done ok. My skin felt clean and refreshed. I looked down at Gerri. Her face was glowing. Her skin looked so fresh. So smooth. I felt myself melt a little inside.

I squatted down so I was level with her face. " Would you like to play dress ups ? " I asked softly, hoping.

"Oh yes! Can we ? Can we? Can we?" she fired back. "Ok then, lets raid the wardrobe then " I said smiling at her. She was sooo cute. So adorable.

3.

We went into the bedroom and I walked over to the partially open wardrobe and slide the other door open, revealing all of my stage clothes. Glitter, gold lamella, leather, vinyl. Pants, tops, singlets, and underneath the hanging clothes shoes, boots, and more shoes. Gerri's mouth opened in amazement. " Wow Miss Amy you have so many cool clothes. "

"Thank you sweetie" I said, "these are all the things I wear when I go out to sing for work. These are my crazy clothes." I sat on the edge of my bed. "You can try on anything you want. Just point and I will get it down for you."

She stood there for a few seconds and then knelt down on the floor next to my shoe collection. She reached out and stroked the soft leather calf high boots directly in front of her. She pulled them out and threw them behind her. Then she spotted the gray boots. She reached out and ran one finger down the length of the surface. " WOW' she murmured, before looking at me over her shoulder. "What are these made of" she asked, now cradling one of the boots in her lap. " That's crocodile skin honey. Isn't it nice?" "It's all bumpy", she replied. I slipped off the bed and lowered myself down onto the floor next to her. I leant into the wardrobe and pulled out the matching boot. " I ran my hand over the textured skin." Yep, have you seen a crocodile at Taronga Zoo?" I asked. She nodded yes. " We went there with school last year. Crocodiles are big and scary, they eat people don't they?"

"Only if you smile at them "I grinned. " Never smile at a crocodile" I said as I gave her shoulder a little squeeze. Gerri giggled and pulled out my Manolo's. She had taste it seemed. My $400 pumps joined the small pile of boots behind her. Then standing up she began to run her hands over the clothes hanging in front of her. Without turning her head she asked " Are these your rock star clothes?"

Rock star? Where had she heard that? My 15 minutes of fame came a long time before Gerri was even thought of. 2001, the year I thought I was going to be a mega star. Courtesy of 2 minor hits I had co-written with Rob James I had spent plenty of time living like a rock star. Parties, limo's, nightclub openings, TV appearances. Video clips on Rage and endless tours up and down the east coast. Support shows for Pink and Madonna on their Australian tours. Then the news that Rob had been found dead in his bed. A heart attack at the age of 28. I was devastated, my best male friend, my occasional lover, my co-writer, dead, gone from this world. I took a year off touring to try and write new material. I had always been poetic, a good lyricist, but Rob was the musical genius. I could play well, but I just couldn't write those juicy hooks he could seemingly pull out of thin air. My new album turned out to be my last album, it stunk, and disappeared just as quickly as it came. Rock star?? No. Close but no cigar as they say in the movies. My confidence collapsed so I went back to college as a mature age student and got a music education degree. It wasn't until after I graduated that I even dared sing live again. Then I joined a covers band under an assumed name just for fun. And one thing led to another, I ditched the band, took up my guitar again and began to do the solo circuit around Sydney. Three hundred bucks a night singing mostly to drunks. Some who remembered me, most didn't though. I no longer had the short dyed hair I used to wear, and I was no long 19 years old a rail thin, courtesy of giving up smoking after Rod died. But I got my confidence back and I carved a niche for myself. Three or four nights a week of pub gigs. A dozen music students. No, I wasn't a rock star but what I was doing was Ok, I was time rich, didn't own a clock with an alarm in it and lived comfortably in a lovely part of town. I wasn't about to tell Gerri that depressing story so I answered "Who told you I am a rock star Gerri?" "Uncle Charlie," she replied. Hmmm the mysterious Uncle Charlie again. I would have to do some digging around to learn more about this mysterious "uncle".

I took a deep breath. "Well, I was just a tiny, itsy bitsy rock star for a very brief time many years ago, but yes honey, I guess you could say these are my rock star clothes".

I looked at the clothes hanging there, most of which no longer fit me hadn't been worn in over 10 years. Why did I even still have them? Why hadn't I thrown them away, it's not like I was going to suddenly lose 12 pounds and squeeze into them again. I pondered while Gerri ransacked through them. I guess they linked me to who I was, and a part of me didn't want to lose that, didn't want to let those heady memories go. For a brief time I was somebody. People recognised me, pointed at me, asked me for photos and autographs, time moves on but sometimes memories are frozen in place. I could no more throw out my stage gear than I could my memories.

Gerri pointed at a gold mesh top so I took it down and laid it on the bed. Without thinking I also took out the matching gold lame shorts that I used to wear below it. She pointed at a heavy leather jacket embroidered with white stitching and silver studs. It joined the pile. "You have soooo many nice things" Gerri exclaimed. "What's that on there?" she said pointing at a jacket I had picked up in America. I pulled it out. It was purple suede with long tassels on it, very 70's, it was one of my favourites back in the day. I unzipped the hoody jacket I was wearing and slipped it off, wanting to see if the suede jacket even came close to fitting me still. I heard Gerri gasp.

"Miss Amy," she whispered." You have tattoos. You have lots of tattoos!"

I immediately regretted taking off my jacket. I always covered up for my students. Not wanting to make a bad impression on them or their parents. But Gerri was right, I WAS covered in tattoos. I loved them. When I was a teenager I couldn't wait to be 18 so I could get one. My parents tried to talk me out of it. All of the usual "but it's not ladylike" excuses. But I never changed my mind so on my 18th birthday my mother took me to The House of Pain in Annandale and Ben had given me my first tattoo, a red rose, on the back of my shoulder. I loved it. I loved the experience. Now however, my entire right arm was covered completely down to my wrist. My right leg was covered to just above my knee. And I had recently embarked on some large back tattoos that extended the artwork on my arm onto my body, and down my right side.

Gerri stared wide eyed at the wild artwork covering the skin she could see. A dragon snaked down my arm, its tail coiled around my forearm. A phoenix rising from the ashes now covered my up back, its claw extending over my shoulder. That was me, rising from my own ashes , starting again. Gerri reached out and lightly stroked my inked bicep. Tracing her finger lightly over the dragons head, its open mouth. " Does it hurt?" she asked softly. Without thinking I stroked her soft hair. "No sweetie, it stings when you get it done but that doesn't last long, then it's there forever."

"Wow" she whispered. "It's a dragon, like in Harry Potter." "Yes it is, it's my dragon, and it makes me feel safe when I am by myself" I said. She grabbed my bicep and turned it so she could see the underside of my arm. " Who is Rob?" she asked. His name and the date of his birth and death was inked in small neat letters in a heart there. "He was a great guy, a special friend, and he passed away very young and I miss him every day." I replied softly, a tear forming in my eye. "Oh god" I thought. After all these years the pain was still just there, still that close. I reached up and wiped my eye before she could notice. I slipped the jacket over my shoulders, it was snug, very snug, but if I lost a few pounds it would fit. That made me happy.

I stood up and sat down on the edge of the bed again. " Ok sweetie, its time you modelled some of these clothes for me. I had a thought. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed the carved wooden box that sat in the centre. Walking back to me bed I opened it and let all of my costume jewellery rain down on the bed cover. Necklaces, and rings, a lot of them my mums, formed a glittering pile on the bed.

"What do you want to try first?" I asked her. She grabbed the gold mesh top, "This one, it's all sparkly." She said excitedly. "Ok" I said, "and what shoes?" She looked at the pile of boots and shoes and grabbed the gray croc skins. "These look like they have tattoos to don't they?" I nodded smiling at her enthusiasm, "yes I guess they do at that." I looked at the gold shirt. I had worn that to the ARIA awards when I was nominated for "Best New Talent". I didn't win but I looked great I thought to myself smiling. On 8 year old Gerri however, it would be more like a golden sack dress.

She grabbed the hem of her cute little green sweater and lifted it up over her head. All she had on underneath was a little white singlet. She was so small. Thin little shoulders and arms. Standing there in her singlet she looked even younger, more fragile. I held the gold top for her while she put her arms above her head and slipped the shoulder strings down over her little arms. The weight of the top pulled it down into shape and it fell down her little body, reaching well down over the top of her thighs. I moved back from her a looked. She looked so cute, it was huge on her. She looked at herself in the mirror and giggled. The white singlet under the gold top made her look like a little ragamuffin. She leant over to pick up the boots she had chosen and both shoulder string slipped forward letting the top slide down her body to fall I a crumpled heap at her feet. We both burst out laughing. I knelt next to her and decided to take the opportunity while it presented itself. I grabbed the hem of her little singlet and said " It will stay on better and look nicer if w take this singlet off sweetie". Immediately she raids her arms and I slipped the little singlet over her head, letting my fingers run up the skin of her side and back as I did. Oh god she was so soft and warm. Goosebumps appeared on my arms. This time Gerri noticed." You have goose bumps" she giggled. "It must be cold in here", I quickly replied. I fumbled purposely with the top at her feet while I looked at her tiny body. Her skin was whiter than any I had ever seen. Her tiny nipples were a light pink colour, no larger than our old one cent pieces. I fought the desire to kiss her little chest. Oh my word she was so beautiful. I slowly pulled the top up over her now bare skin, and slipped the shoulder straps back over her arms. She looked so gorgeous. "Ok, boots now" I said, and lifted her onto the side of the bed. I grabbed the gray boots and held it for her while she slipped her jeans clad leg into it. I laughed aloud as the boot swallowed her leg well over her knee. I slid her down off the bed and she teetered in the boots, rocking on the heels. She tried to walk but her knees didn't articulate properly now they were encased in crocodile skin. "Walk over to the door and turn around and come back, like a model would," I told her and watched as she wobbled over to the door, a little kid in adults clothes. When she turned around however I gasped aloud. The top hung down very low, I could clearly see her little nipples as it swung on her neck by its own weight, coming down to mid thigh. The crocodile boots on her were perfect thigh highs, and as she wobbled back towards me giggling furiously at her efforts, I slipped my phone out of my pocket and snapped a photo of her.

Expecting her to be shy at the site of the camera I was shocked when she stopped and put her hand on her now outwardly thrusted hip. Clearly posing. I snapped off a few more shots of her. "You look like you've done this before" I said questioningly. She laughed and wiggled her hips before tottering back towards me. "Mummy likes playing dress ups with me" she said as she wobbled towards me. "We do it all ......" and suddenly she went quiet and blushed red. She looked down at her feet."What's up sweetie? I asked gently. Had I said something wrong? Clearly her mood had changed, after she mentioned her mother playing dress ups with her. Once again I had cause to wonder.

Reaching into the wardrobe I pulled out a little blue silk printed skirt, it used to be tiny on me; it would likely come down to her feet. I grabbed her and gave her a little tickle, bringing that beautiful smile back to her face. " Do you like this one?" I asked. She reached out and touched the material. "Ooooh " she said softly" it's so soft, it's pretty."

"Want to try it on ?" I asked. She nodded and sat down trying to get the boots off her feet. "Here, let me help" I suggested, lifting her off the floor and onto the bed. I gently shoved her back on the bed making her laugh out aloud and grabbed her left boot and pulled it straight up, half lifting her off the bed before the boot slipped off and she fell back against the coverlet giggling. I repeated the game with the right boot, once again lifting her bottom off the bed and letting her drop again once again resulting in a paroxysm of laughter. She lay on the bed looking up at me. "Why don't we take that gold top off and try it with something else?" I suggested. Without hesitation she got on her knees and slipped the straps off her shoulders to let the gold top once again fall down her body showing her smooth little chest and belly. I felt myself getting aroused, squeezing my thighs together. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, scared that if I did I would come to my senses and rush out of the room in horror at the thought of what I wanted to do with this gorgeous child. She looked at me, so innocent, but seemingly quite at home with taking her clothes off in front of me. Oh well, I suppose if hr and her mum do it all the time, then it hit me, the kiss in the car, the dress ups with her mum and her reaction when she mentioned it, it was almost like she had let a secret slip. Once again, I wondered, this time I dared to "actually" wonder. What if her and Haley? Oh my ....

Once again I shoved her back on the bed making her yell excitedly as I pulled the gold mesh top over her feet and off her completely. I thought quickly "should I ? Dare I?", then before I could chicken out I said "This skirt will look better if you don't have you jeans on under it, do you want to leave them on or take them off. She didn't hesitate, and immediately lay on her back and undid the button on her little Levis, and began trying to slip them over her tiny little hips. I leant over her and grabbed her jeans and wiggled them over her hips and bottom, revealing a cute little soft pink cotton pair of Marquis Underpants, they were the same colour as her little nipples, trimmed with white lace and a little motif of two little trees on her right hip. I could clearly see the shape of her little mound as she lay on her back as I slipped her jeans down over her thighs, letting my fingers feel as much of her skin as I dared. Her little legs were as white as her chest and back, she was perfect, not a flaw that Amy could see anywhere on her exposed body. Her little cleft was visible under her undies. Her legs pressed together modestly. Kneeling next to the bed I grabbed her by her feet, still clad in her little white socks, and pulled her off the bed. As she stood in front of me dressed only in her underpants and socks, I could feel my heart pounding. I grabbed the silk skirt and held it open for her to step into. I was right, it came down to her knees and was huge around her waist. Grabbing a broach from the pile of costume jewellery on the bed I turned her around and bunched the material at the back of the skirt and used the cameo to pin it in place, then spun her back around and hey presto, an almost perfect fit. Well, it wouldn't fall down anyway. Gerri looked at the wardrobe" I need a shirt" she said.

I grabbed a handful of clunky necklaces from the bed and began hanging them around her neck." We can just cover you in jewellery" I said laughing. Soon she stood there in front of me, no less than 7 necklaces hanging off her neck, covering her up but leaving a lot exposed at the same time. " Shoes?" I asked, handing holding up my black Manolo's. She nodded enthusiastically as I put them on the ground and she leant forward and placed her hands on my shoulders as she stepped into them. Oh god she was inches away from me, I could smell her skin, smell her hair, I wanted to kiss her so badly. She stood up and teetered in the narrow heels. "Ok supermodel" I said "Strut your stuff!"

Gerri smiled and turn around, almost falling over immediately before regaining her balancing and walking towards the bedroom door. The large wad of bunched up material obscured her little bottom but the fact she had no shirt on gave me a great view of her naked back. All of that skin I thought. Those tiny shoulder blades. So taught. I wanted to hold her. Stroke her body.

The shoes, twice as big as her little feet, flapped as she stutter turned, doing it in increments to keep her balance. She came back towards me, smiling as she shuffled clumsily in the outsize pumps. Then the broach holding the bunch of material at the back of her skirt gave away and it slipped straight down around her ankles mid stride. With a sudden look of horror Gerri stumbled and fell forward. Amy, still kneeling on the floor, threw herself forward, getting herself underneath the falling child just in time for her little body to land across her chest and belly, resulting in a pile of giggling arms and legs. The skirt was now firmly wrapped around Gerri's ankles, one of the shoes was off, and Amy had a hand full of Gerri's firm little bottom. Both girls giggled. Amy twisted the struggling child around so she was lying atop of her, their faces almost touching. Amy reached down and tried to untangle the cloth from around Gerri's feet. She placed her left hand on Gerri's bottom, ostensibly to keep her still whilst she tried to untangle the squirming child but knowing at the same time she was feeling the little girl up. Amazed at how both her tiny cheeks fitted under one of her hands. She could feel how firm her little butt was, the deep cleft between her cheeks. She had to hold herself back; her instincts wanted her to feel the skin under her undies, between those little cheeks, and between those wiggling legs.

Finally Amy managed to get the other shoe of Gerri's foot and in turn release the fabric wrapped around her ankles, allowing Gerri to kick hr little legs out and wiggle them at the knees whilst they lay on the floor. " You're so cute" whispered Amy " I could just kiss you to bits." Gerri looked at Amy with a quizzical expression. "There's that look again" though Amy. Taking a chance Amy thought" In for a penny as they say" ... " Gerri, sweetie, do you like kissing? " Amy asked softly. Gerri just stared at her."Oh no" though Amy," that's done it, she will tell her mum I took her shirt off and I am in big trouble. What have I done? She thought," I'm such an impulsive fool."

Amy was about to push the little girl off her and put her clothes back on her when Gerri whispered " Yes".

Amy was stunned. Did she just hear that? "Yes what honey? Do you mean you do like kissing?"

Gerri was silent. Lying atop of Amy clad only in her undies. Amy didn't want to push it, but she felt she was so close to finding out something incredible. "It's ok sweetie," Amy whispered, her mouth inches away from the pretty child's. " You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to tell me."

Gerri lay there. " She is really confused" thought Amy. "I'm stressing her out". Not wanting to cause any more discomfort to the child Amy looked into her eyes. "It's ok, let's not mention it anymore precious. " Gerri looked like she was about to say something, but once again stayed silent.

"Oh sweetie " whispered Amy, almost directly into Gerri's ear. Her hands were caressing the little girls naked back, her fingernails drawing lazy circles on her little pink clad bottom. " You are such a good girl. Your mummy is so lucky to have a gorgeous little girl like you. She kissed the child's neck softly, a little peck. "I like you so much Gerri, it's so much fun having you here", a little kiss on her ear. Amy felt the child in her arms shudder. Emboldened by the lack of protest Amy continued stroking the child's skin, this time however it was little Gerri's turn to get goose bumps as the skin on her back flexed, the tiny little fair hairs on her young arms standing up momentarily. " You are so pretty sweetie", a longer kiss on her neck. She could hear the child's breathing quicken. "I wish I could play dress ups with you all the time" an open mouth kiss on her little cheek. This time, Gerri turned her head, straight into Amy's kiss. Her mouth was slightly open as she turned her face toward Amy, allowing Amy's lips to lightly brush against hers. Amy though she was about to pass out. What the hell was she doing here? Her heart was pounding in her chest. Amy raised her head towards Gerri's face and lightly brushed the child's lips with her own. She kissed her again, this time just holding it, not moving her head or her mouth, not believing this was really happening. She could feel Gerri breathing through her little nose, little puffs of breath against her lips. Just as she was about to pull away, knowing she had crossed a big line, she felt Gerri's tiny tongue against her top lip. Just a light touch. A flick. She responded by doing exactly the same with her own tongue, overcoming her desire to explore the child's mouth with hers. She just gently, ever so lightly, flicked her tongue against the little girl's top lip. Gerri immediately responded, repeating the little tongue flick against Amy's mouth. Amy wrapped her arms around the child and pulled her down on top of her. Slipping her fingers under the back of the little girl's underpants she held gently cupped her little bottom. Scarcely believing what she was doing. Gerri opened her mouth a little more and Amy sucked her bottom lip before using her tongue to trace the girl's top lip softly. Gerri smiled at her, panting little breathes. Amy glanced over Gerri's shoulder at her wristwatch. 3:10. "Oh wow, where has the time gone?" she thought to herself, her right hand still under Gerri's little underpants, softly caressing the silken skin on her tiny bottom. She didn't want to stop. Never wanted to stop. But she knew she had to get this situation under control well before Haley got back. Presenting a flushed and aroused 8 year old to her mother just wouldn't do at all.

Amy leant back, her head on the floor. Gerri lay atop of her, her hands on Amy's shoulders, her body resting on her forearms, looking down at her music teacher. Amy smiled and slid her hand out from underneath Gerri's underwear and slowly traced her fingers up the little girl's naked back. "Was that nice?" she asked. Gerri looked down at her, her big green eyes sparkling, hair tousled and messy. She nodded and smiled. "Yes." She said. Amy looked straight into Gerri's eyes." Honey, do you know what a secret is?" Gerri once again nodded. " A secret is when you can't even tell someone you have a secret, it's special." Amy smiled and placed both her hands on Gerri's shoulder blades, lightly stoking her soft hair with her right hand, curling it around her fingers. "Do you think that this could be our secret sweetie? I don't think we should tell anyone we kissed today. Nothing's wrong with it, don't worry, but your mummy and daddy might not like me kissing you, they might get angry and stop me giving you music lessons."

Gerri blinked, thinking. Then, a large smile spread across her beautiful little face as she nodded.

"It's our special secret." Amy felt relief flood through her. Gerri continued, "I won't tell, I promise." "I promise too' said Amy. " I like having a special secret with you Gerri, I hope we can be special friends, and maybe play dress ups again some time?"

Gerri smiled. "That would be fun, I like your clothes Miss Amy, they are so pretty."

"And I have lots more for you to try" said Amy, already thinking of the things she could buy specifically for Gerri to "try on". Amy wrapped her arms around the little girl's upper body and rolled to her left, taking one last opportunity to place her mouth against the bottom of Gerri's delicate little neck and kissed her skin gently. She could feel the little girl's pulse throbbing in her carotid artery, it was racing. She ended up on top of the little girl, her arms taking all of her body weight. Amy looked down at the semi nude angel beneath her. Strawberry blonde hair splayed out over the floor, narrow shoulders, tiny little soft pink nipples. Laying this way Amy could make out a couple of the little girls ribs. She was in no way underweight, just very slightly built. She looked down at her deliciously smooth belly and down to her little underpants. Oh god, she wanted to see her naked. To feel her. Smell her. And maybe even, if she dared to go that far. Maybe even taste her down there. She had never done that with another girl. Not even close. "Am I a lesbian now", she pondered. Or something worse than that?

"Oh fuck. What did I just do?" she thought to herself. Guilt suddenly replacing her lust. She quickly got to her knees and placing her hands under Gerri's body lifted the child to a standing position. "Let's get you dressed then." She said , barely able to look the little girl in the eye now she had thought about what she had done. " What if she tells someone?' Then, "What do I mean, What if? She was 8, of course she was going to tell someone." Amy felt panic fill her mind. She quickly slipped Gerri's green jumper over the child's upraised arms. While Amy scooped up the pile of boots and shoes and shoved them back into the bottom of her wardrobe Gerri laid on the floor, slipping into her snug fitting jeans. Amy couldn't help herself. Despite the fear of discovery running through her she paused to look down at Gerri as the little girl wiggled into her jeans, pulled up the short silver zipper and sucked in her little belly as she did up the top button, and was overcome by the need she felt right at that moment. If she could have she would have laid straight back down next to the gorgeous little girl who was now standing at the dresser, brushing her hair into a semblance of what it looked like when she arrived, and undressed her all over again. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and cover her with kisses. To make her smile, and more.

"Oh fuck!" She thought. She had just learnt something monumental about herself and now she was going to go to gaol, where her kind of people were likely to get "special" attention. She could just imagine the look on her parents face when the world found out that Amy Franklyn was a child molester. All she could do was hope that Gerri REALLY could keep a secret, or at least think up some convincing way to deny it as merely playing dress ups and having a little clothing accident.

She looked at the little girl in the mirror. Gerri looked at her in the reflection and smiled happily. She seemed quite ok, thought Amy. Nothing really out of sorts. Not really what she thought a child would be like after her first make out session. Except it wasn't her first. Remembering again Haley's goodbye kiss, that whilst happening only hours ago, seemed like yesterday. So much had transpired.

Amy took Gerri into the living room and switched on the TV and put it on the music channel. She went into the kitchen. " Hot chocolate?" she yelled. "YES PLEASE" came the excited reply. As the milk heated in the microwave Amy watched Gerri as she sat on the couch, watching Gaga dance around in her underwear in a clip set in a prison. She looked fine. Maybe everything would be alright. Maybe everything would be better than alright. Maybe she would keep their secret and come and play dress up's again, and un-dress up's again. Amy pressed her thighs together. She could still taste her on her mouth, feel the texture of her beautiful pouting lips. As she crossed her fingers and poured the steaming milk into the mugs, she came up with a plan, one that could work out very well for everyone, whether they knew it or not.

10 minutes later , as she sat on the couch opposite Gerri, listening to the rain still falling steadily on the roof outside, watching Gerri watching TV, Amy heard the crunch of tires on her gravel driveway. "Your mum's here sweetie. Come on, get your stuff and we will go down and meet her so she doesn't have to get her new hairdo wet."

Immediately Gerri put her almost empty mug on the coffee table and leapt to her feet, grabbing her ukulele case from next to the piano, and ran over to the small staircase that ran down to my back door. I followed close behind. She hurried down the 5 stairs and sat on the bottom one, reaching for her cute yellow gum boots and slipping them on her little feet. Amy grabbed the little yellow cape of the umbrella stand and knelt down in front of Gerri and placed it around her shoulders, buttoning it front under her chin. "Did you have fun today ?" she asked softly. Gerri nodded, her eyes sparkling. "Amy leant a little closer. "Secret?" she asked. The smile left the little girls face and was replaced by a serious look. She nodded assertively "Secret" she said then smiled broadly. Amy placed her hands on the little girl's sides and gave her a little squeeze making her squeal with laughter. She stood up and opened the back door." Oh well, here goes" she thought.