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My Sweet Prince [A-/B+]
The Taurus Key [A/A-]
While doing all the reading for Fanfic Nation a few weeks ago I kept coming across a subgenre of fanfic called yaoi. Yaoi, in its simplest terms, is a kind of Japanese slash about epicene pretty boys and their romantic relationships with one another. Since it derives from manga and anime rather than live-action TV such pretty boys, or bishonen, are invariably young, slim, and swooning, with beautiful eyes, long flowing hair, and lithe, hairless bodies that are lovingly described over and over, and they suffer constantly from the pangs of unrequited or inappropriate love. Though many yaoi fanfics take the form of fan-drawn manga there are original stories as well, and I thought I'd give them a try. Both these stories feature captive princes who become political pawns and/or sex slaves, which is a convention of the genre, I guess, as much as play parties are for regular porn. Like its cousin, and like conventional porn for that matter, there are certain assumptions that are givens and never explained. Like young men that cry copiously at the drop of a hat and always smell like vanilla spice. Um, okay. But if you can swallow that, the rewards are yours, with more floating hair, semi-rapes, and homoerotic glam than a Storm Constantine Wraeththu novel, which the stories strongly resemble in style and content.
"My Sweet Prince" was the more unorganized and over-the-top of the two; by all the inserted comments the author is still in high school and writing this to amuse herself and her friends. The style was um, unique (derived from Gothic novels? Anime subtitles and voiceovers?) but literate, and compelling. Here the conquering overlord of the Neptune colony catches site of the prince of the title (the ellipses are the author's):
This effeminate creature is drugged and ravished by the one-eyed, steel-clawed overlord, and later finds he's become oddly attracted to his ravisher, and his ravisher to him. The story takes a U-turn when the prince suddenly runs away to join the political opposition with some space smugglers (necessitating another story, which the author refers to) and after some sexy hijinks in an intergalactic nightclub he is returned by a gruff lone wolf bounty hunter to the ravisher for an M/M/M threeway that ends happily. The story was intensely messy, off-the-cuff, exuberant, and private, and in spite of my aversion to imagining cartoon characters, or characters derived from cartoon characters, having sex, it was very hot, because it seemed so invested... the author clearly put a lot of blood, sweat, and visual plotting into this, despite its lack of logic and coherence. (I like anime very much -- Utena and Escaflowne are perennial favorites with me -- but I just can't picture the overstylized characters, with their big, big, eyes and tiny chins, having sex. I can't. If a story succeeds in making me imagine them as real people, it succeeds.) "The Taurus Key" was a more conventionally written piece, which meant it was more satisfying in some areas, less so in others. Again, a prince is taken captive and forced to be a sex slave, but the twist comes when his 'master' turns out to be younger and less confidant than himself, and their sexual roles are reversed. The captor/captive roles are reversed later as well after the prince is rescued and brings his wounded captor with him back to his kingdom, where by mistake he's thrown into the dungeon and brutally raped. Much anguish results from the combined hurt/comfort and rape/recovery issues, the story reading in places like a YA 'problem' novel where the characters learn to see themselves as lovable in spite of the negative messages of their childhoods. Though the story was better written, it didn't have the power to grab me as much as the previous one did... too polished and polite, perhaps. Yaoi certainly isn't for everyone, but if you want something new and different in the M/M vein, and like anime, try it out.
Titos' Adventures [A-]
I found these stories (Life as a Warlord, In a Darkened Land, Ryn in Captivity, A Man's Tribe) on the author's website. They are the first four chapters of the much longer "Titos' Adventures" series about the same character.
Titos (not Tito) is a barbarian mercenary in the Conan or Fafhrd mode, with
sexual appetites he is unashamed about. While employed as a captain under the
warlord Rath he captures a pretty elf prince named Ryn who is there on a
diplomatic mission, and semi-rapes him (with the elf's consent; this is not a
brutalization tale.) Realizing later that his boss is sure to abuse the prisoner,
Titos deserts the dark armies and takes Ryn with him, selling him later into
whoredom with a dwarf friend of his: "60/40 of profits only. Very high prices
and few customers but well worth the rate. No more than one a night and no
rough stuff. If the guy looks bad, don't sell." If all this makes him sound
mercenary, he is, but he also has a moral code of his own, made apparent when
the rest of the stories are read... the brothel was his way of keeping Ryn
protected while in enemy territory. Well, his heart's in the right place, at least:
Titos nodded and then looked at Ryn. He had been absolutely still and quiet as
they talked about him. The dwarf took his leave promising fresh supplies on his
horse. Titos slowly removed the gag and waited. But the prince said nothing, so
Titos spoke first. "He means it. You'll be well taken care. Trohan takes care of all
his employees."
Still the elf said nothing.
Titos sighed best leave now. But first. Firmly he grabbed Ryn's chin and turned
him towards him. Drawing him into his fierce and passionate kiss, again Ryn
responded instantly kissing back with deep need, but Titos withdrew.
The warrior paused as he walked out the door. "Don't forget me. I will return."
Behind him he heard the sweet voice whisper. "Never shall I ever forget...
never could I."
Awww! Later adventures deal with the emotional anst generated by the first two stories as Ryn deals with an insistent orc at the brothel and Titos meets a virginal young priest who takes him to a desert tribe with strange customs. The writing was surprisingly sensitive and eloquent for the Howardesque subject matter (the writer also does slash in the Highlander and anime fandoms, so I'd guess she is female) with the captured prince scenario reading more yaoi than hack n' slash. These stories weren't as polished as some of the gay fantasy fiction I've read (they were rife with spelling errors, for one thing) but they had a friendly, charming tone; I could tell the author invested extensively in the characters, which gives a piece of fiction a certain 'magic' even if it is rough and full of plot holes. I was sufficiently involved to return to the site and read on to see how things turned out, the real proof of the pudding for any writer on the net.
Tea for Two [A]
I nearly skipped this story this week, and I'm glad I didn't.
Written by a Brit but set in Washington DC, it details the life of
the manager of a coffee joint (called for some odd reason the
TeaShoppe) and his growing attraction to an official type who
patronizes the joint for his daily cup o' java. The character
description of the guy was one of the most interesting I've
seen:
For eighteen months they only trade nods and pleasantries about the weather, until one day the FBI man asks a little more, then returns that evening for a romantic kiss. This wasn't quite a sex story--it was more of a character/romance study--but it was very readable, and I felt I was right there in the coffee joint with the characters. What author can get higher praise than that?
The Priest and the Hustler [A-/B+]
Teachers of writing always insist it's better to start a tale in the middle of action. In this story, we find ourselves smack dab middle in an argument between three men, two of whom have been having an affair, and it's gradually revealed that one is a counselor, one a Catholic priest, and one the troubled young man the priest is having the affair with. I liked the story and it had promise, but it was confusing to make sense of at first. Especially since the priest wasn't called "Father O'Malley" or a like title that lets us know he's a priest. Some of the dialogue sounded awkward too, like "But even with Charlie and Lloyd as role models, with a relationship of love of trust, I still lean towards the hustler mentality, with the payoff being the rush, the challenge, the thrill, and some times, the money." This is more of the way someone would write (as if in an autobiography) than speak. But the story was interesting, with lots of drama and angst, and ends on a kinky note of restraint with the priest and kid forbidden by the counselor to touch each other until they iron out their feelings...the lure of the illicit affair simultaneously receiving approval and denial at the same time.
Tears in the Mirror [A]
This story features one of those power differential
setups so appealing to slash writers: a prisoner, a
defenseless young member of royalty, taken before an
enemy ruler to receive his sentence, whatever that may
be. Here it really isn't played for sex, though the
slashy elements are there ("Standing there, in the
presence of the man, he realized some of the rumours had
been true. The king was very appealing to women and not
only, if one would actually listen to the more obscene
comments.") It soon comes out, though, that the teenage
prince is there for purposes of revenge, because of a
rape inflicted on the sister of the king by the prince's
father, and the king intends to dish it out in turn:
He swore at the king, but the mans only reaction was the
same grim smile, as he pointed one finger at Mariel.
"Take his clothes off," he ordered.
Then, as the rape is about to commence, a twist occurs. I won't reveal it, but it's a typical 1990s one. Though the ending was a little sappy what came before it was good, the slashy elements in place without being too exploitive (this IS an anti-rape story) but dramatic enough to satisfy that slashy, er, urge. And this author can write, and keep a melodramatic scene going, and if I'm not mistaken she knows full the fire she is playing with, and uses it to her advantage.
Closing Time [B+/B]
This story was one of the realistic ones, though the
description of teal-colored hair at the beginnning gives
an early indication of yaoi influences. (For a more
complete description of yaoi, see my 4/25/02 reviews.)
Isamu, or Izzy, takes his younger sister out to a club
called The Spurned Lover to celebrate her birthday, and
obligingly lets her doll him in the latest glammy duds
("The butter soft jeans were indecently tight and the
metallic tank--hell, it might as well be painted on")
but is strangely frosty to the sexual attention he gets.
He sits at the bar getting drunker and drunker when an
old friend, Jazz, comes over, and it's clear the two are
destined to become lovers. If you can't tell by the
alliterative ZZs in their names, you can tell by the
description of the clothing.
Izzy had never told anyone that during the last year of
his marriage, he used to fantasize about Jazz just to
get hard enough to have sex with his wife. He had
discounted the attraction as a normal by-product of
great affection between two men. But now... as he felt
his heart thundering in his chest, and the moisture on
his palms and upper lip, he knew that wasn't the case.
Izzy couldn't tear his eyes away from the sensual
creature posing saucily in front of him.
So they swish off together in a Barbie dream date come
true (with Velvet Goldmine glammy overtones) and
eventually have slashy sex:
The writing style was at once gung-ho and naive; fun to read, but there was no way I could take it seriously as a story. To make things worse it was a songfic, with verses interspersed throught the prose to set the scene (assuming the reader has heard this particular song before and has the same emotional reaction to it that the characters do.) It's clear the author is very young. In short, severe silliness + some promising writing skill = B, and I am nudging it toward a B+ because the author did not mention boxers once.
Auctioned [B-/C+]
In this story the author tries very hard to meld a slash sensibility with a plot out of gay porn. Twenty-five- year-old Nick is vacationing in Egypt when he is kidnapped by Arabs at the Great Pyramid and auctioned off to be a "companion" to a mysterious Greek named Alik, who, though short-tempered at first, soon proves himself a romantic. He even realizes he made a mistake and offers to free Nick. But Nick is so enraptured by the hot sex he demurs the decision, only to be drugged with amytal and raped the next day by one of Alik's seedy business associates. Alik rescues him in mid- ejaculation, the raper is arrested, and the two share a comfort fuck, after which Nick states he'd rather stay with his benefactor than go back to Vancouver. This was all well and good, except the writer couldn't make it plausible. First off, the Great Pyramid is less than a mile from downtown Cairo, so it's hard to believe someone would hike out and camp there as if it's hundreds of miles from civilization. The setting of the auction was likewise vague, and so was the location of the Master's house; it seemed like it was in America, going by the blaring police-car sirens that pull up to arrest the rapist, but Egyptian police wouldn't come so quickly. Neither would they put the rapist into "dark blue coveralls cleaning the graffiti and gum wads off your beloved pyramid displays" -- this is an American conceit. (Real Egyptian cops would probably just let the guy go after a hefty baksheesh.) There were other naivetes about setting and culture as well, including a blonde hair obsession ("his hair the colour of the morning sunrays, soft as the silk we harvest") language errors (people speak Arabic, not Arabian) mixed metaphors ("His green eyes let the world see through his soul and never allowed him to lie through his teeth") and, last but not least, the use of boxers as erotic clothing. I swear, from now on, any slash story that features these stupid garments is going to get a full grade demerit, I mean it. All that said, I did think the story was kind of sweet. But it was an experiment the writer didn't have the skill to make successful, at least not yet.
Caled's Wager [A]
Tricia has been running the Lure of the Ring Tolkien slash website for some time, and has spun off her writing endeavors into this site, Juxtapose, which features SF and fantasy slash. This was clearly a move to "turn pro" -- $9.99 buys you a months' subscription to the goods, a development fairly new in the slash world (though I know of several others) and time will tell if she makes any money off it. Nevertheless she seems prepared to work hard to deliver a quality product: "My previous website, featuring fanfiction for The Lord of the Rings, currently contains 45 stories/chapters that I wrote over the course of 6 months. That translates to almost 2 a week." I can attest for the quality of the author's LotR writing: her Aragorn/Legolas rapefic "The Nature of Fear" impressed me with both its adherence to movie canon and its psychological nuances. So I went to the new site to read the background for her fantasy world, which seems pretty standard: a group of six hunky guys, a mixture of thieves, mercenaries, and magic-users united together to seek and destroy an evil sorceror. Their bios are detailed on a separate page along with some amateurish headshot illustrations -- a visual device net writers are increasingly using these days, and one that seems to have been cribbed from computer role-playing games. It also wasn't needed, as the writer was skilled enough to delineate her characters early on in the free trial story she posted. Caled the devil-may-care mercenary is bored one night, so he bets his thief friends Lios and Gam that they can seduce Hadrian, the sensual but remote sorceror of the party, in the hayloft for some three-way sex. So the two set forth, capturing him rather too easily (wouldn't a sorceror have means to escape such an assault?) But this is slash, so the two tie his hands to an overhead beam and start to ravish him, Caled joining on on the fun to offer suggestions. Poor Hadrian is soon in a froth of frustrated passion, at which Caled dismisses his friends to take over the job -- seems he's had a thing for his friend all along. There was nothing new or unique about this story -- it wasn't as amusingly daffy as "Closing Time" or as detailed and well-plotted as "Remembrance Past" -- but the author writes very professionally, and kept me reading to the end. The sex scenes were hot, if overextended, and I'd definately want to read on to see how the characters' sexual entanglements are resolved. The only problem was a blandness to the story's style. Since the slash community self-polices itself with the use of beta readers ("copy editors" who read and crit a writer's work for them) this leads to many stories sounding like they were written by the same person. In fact, the style reminded me a lot of the one used in "Drill Team in Bondage at the Rennaisance Festival" (10/26/02 reviews) -- a sort of smoothly written, competent, non-style that could have come from the brain of any author-for-hire, though in this case the story contents differed wildly. Nevertheless I rate the story highly because it was a textbook example of an orginal slash fantasy, with all the "baby's" and abandoned passion in the right places. There were many more stories about these same characters on the site as well as a few novellas, and more are promised; whether it's worth nearly ten bucks a month is up to you.
At the Baths [A-]
Historical fiction is another favorite genre of slash writers. I guess because there was so much of it in real life -- the affairs of Alexander the Great, the love between Japanese samurai and their squires, horny English monks, etc.
This story was set in Roman times. Man-man buggery, a
carryover from the Greeks, was still practiced, but as
true-blooded Roman men avoided effeminacy at all costs,
it was limited to anal penetration. The romantic aspects
of sex like kissing and displays of affection were
taboo. Lucius, the protag of the piece, longs for this,
but can't have it because he's the descendant of a long
and noble Roman family. So he buys a slave for that
purpose and gives him a test run in a shadowed corner of
the bath:
The indications at the end are the slave will oblige his master's "feminine" desires and eventually come to enjoy them as much as his Master's previous slave did. The writing in this piece was good but dense, and though historical exposition is necessary to give the information the reader needs to understand the story, it's better coming through the actions of the characters, rather than the author telling us. Also distracting were the many footnotes explaining the Roman customs and Latin words of the text. Okay, it was interesting, but really doesn't belong in a sex story, and neither do many of the words -- why say lararium for example? Wouldn't "family shrine" suffice for those of us untutored in Roman hisotry? It all made the piece seem like it was written by a teacher, something I don't want to think about when I'm reading porn, and slowed the pace of the story as I paused to ponder what the hell that footnote was about. The author did a good job when the historical information was worked into the story, such as the average citizen's opinion of Marc Antony and the status of Roman women. In some places, though, she seemed to bend it for the convenience of her characters. If being penetrated is so taboo, I question why Lucius chooses to "go sub" with his slave in a public bath, even if it's a shadowed corner. And I question why the slave doth protest it too much, as he can't get in trouble for it - - he was only following his master's orders. He can't be expected to have the Roman attitude about it in any case, as the author states he's from North Africa. An interesting story, but it could have gone the extra mile.
Remembrance Past [A+]
For my money this was the best original slash story I found. A pity it's on a fairly obscure site (the author's) and not in an archive somewhere where it would be appreciated.
Alex is a young nobleman studying at a magical academy
like all young nobles in this fantasy world are expcted
to. He's feeling blue after an affair with Yuri, a
fellow student who has had to leave school to take over
his family's fief. Seeking to assuage his feelings he
goes to a male brothel for some anonymous rough sex and
encounters Kalen, a hard-used whore who taunts him:
Alex can't quite complete the act and flees in mingled contempt and despair. But neither of the two characters can forget the other, so Alex returns. This was an excellent story, not only for the slashy elements -- strongly yet realistically handled, with some restraint for once -- but also for the authors' worldbuilding and fine touches with character. They can write too, giving us not a straitghtforward narrative but one studded with interesting detail and sideplots, such as Alex's shuttling his younger brother to a female brothel the same he's visiting his boy toy, and the compare and contrast beween their experiences. Also well done was an accident that happens to Alex as he is weaving a magical web in spell class and a letter he receives from his lover that hints that not only his passion has cooled but that he's moved on to Alex's younger sister ("Your sister came to visit the other day; little Gabby's grown up quite a bit.") The character of the whore was equally well done, and for once a whore admits he likes certain aspects of his work ("Kalen could recall occasions where he'd been broken and reduced to a sobbing wreck by some of his customers ... He'd reacted with the same need for affection, a need so powerful that he'd ended up begging the same men who'd beaten him to hurry up and fuck him before he went insane.") A very good beginning to a longer slash story, and the authors should write more.
Slave to Passion [A-/B+]
I found this story on a yaoi site that was mostly fanfic, save for a few original "adult" stories in their own section. A young hustler is approached one night by a scientist who offers to make him his slave. Not understanding, and entranced by the drugs the scientist has, the kid agrees, only to get the full slave treatment "A few physical changes to his body, hyper-sensitizing the nerves in certain areas of the body, the prostrate, ass, penis, nipples and so forth, a little self lubrication in the tissue linings inside him, and a complete rewiring of his brain functions." When he comes to, he's completely responsive to the scientists' wishes, which include playing dress-up in a weird vinyl lederhosen ensemble and a French maid's outfit and being sodomized with a dildo. The story was pretty slight, like a lot of the ones I see on the newsgroups. What made it different was its slash-yaoi feel (the slave winds up happily in love with his master) and its naivete concerning drugs and street hustler life. Not a bad read, not as nasty as most, but I didn't get involved with it enough to feel anything when he was enslaved. The writing also needed work -- any writer that uses "smirk" or "smirked" more than three times in a single story gets a whack of the ruler. Even one "smirk" is too many. It's a weak verb, redolent of junior high snitches. No one over the age of 14 should smirk in a sex story, except if they're in the National Lampoon.
Virtual [A-]
The Mannazone features one of the more ambitious slash projects I have come across. It's a very long novel, an original creation inspired by Blake's 7 (a British science fiction TV show from the 1970s) seemlessly written by two writers and impeccably proofread and polished. As they suggested, I read the first six chapters, collected under the title "Virtual" to get a taste of the longer work. Toreth is a para-investigator for the Administration, a sort of near-future despotic world government; it's a polite way of saying he interrogates -- and tortures -- prisoners who commit seditious acts against the state. One day he finds out about a new virtual reality machine that may be of use in future interrogations and becomes intrigued with Warrick, the machine's creator. Intrigued isn't quite the right word. Toreth, being a smug senior official type who likes to mind-fuck innocent strangers, engages him in verbal sparring that may or not have a double meaning. He later visits the lab and accepts Warrick's invitation to sample the machine himself, but is humiliated when Warrick paralyzes him and assaults with a virtual blowjob, causing him to forget the "safe word" required to disconnect his mind from the machine, and the oral act. Toreth swears revenge and, continuing to toy with the good doctor, invites him out for dinner (Warrick gleefully acknowledging he's playing with fire) and drugs his drink, and the real slashy stuff starts -- one of those semiconsensual rapes with the "two of them fucking like amphetamine-crazed mink" and sealing their attraction to each other. As usual, no one makes a big issue about it. Though the work was well written, and the authors talented, I found these chapters a chore to read. Why? The characters were arrogant and extremely unpleasant. They brought back memories of those erudite, pompous, we're-so-veddy-British government secret project administrators from UK productions like The Avengers and The Prisoner (I'm thinking particulary of Patrick McNee and the original "Q" from the James Bond series) -- not very sexy. And neither were their vicious, overly talky mind games, though it typified slash of a certain kind (Britslash? Cold War slash?) The six chapters were also waaaaaaay longer than they should have been; in 20,000 words, we've only got around to a fuck, and then a revenge fuck. In an average novel, that's one-fourth of the book. Not my cup of tea old chap, but I will say the science fiction writing was very good, especially in the scenes describing how the device works.
Heart of Tribus [B+/B]
Adultfanfiction.net has picked up the slash gauntlet where Fanfiction.net left off, allowing many writers to continue to post their fanfics and fantasies. Here's a slash ficlet described by the writer as "randomly thought up." Imathaen is a (elvish?) dancer chosen to perform for "Kamkari, emperor of Zilgaldous" a name which might make some with less self-control than I break out into giggles. Struck by the young emperor's beauty, the dancer sneaks into his bedchamber later that night even though "laying with royalty is punishable by death." For dancers I guess, or males? And is it laying or lying? Overcome with feelings of slashy lust, he ties the emporer hand and foot to the posts of his bed; but surprisingly, the emporer isn't too upset at this. You see, no one ever treats the emporer like a normal human being, only like royalty... though why he would think being treated like a normal human being includes being tied to the bedposts, I don't know. For a light read this was OK; it was pretty literate for a piece made up on the fly, the first-person tone was engaging, and it was easy to digest. But it didn't go anywhere, and it was pretty silly. If it lost me at any point, it's that an emporer's bedchamber would be better protected from break-ins of this sort. Wouldn't he have bodyguards?
Arrangements [A-]
Moniquill is a prolific original slash writer who used to post on the FanFiction.com site before the purge; now she's switched over to its sister site, Fictionpress, ostensibly for original fiction rated R and below. I say ostensibly because there is still plenty of kink and smut available if you're willing to sift. She impressed me on the former site, so finding she had jumped ships, I decided to read some more of her work. "Arrangements" is a continuing slash serial about young Lord Giles and the elven slave he buys to share his bed. As such, it's a classic power differential setup. The elf, a civilized being who's had some hard luck, has a reputation for savaging his owners and Giles thinks he can tame him, so he ties him to the bedpost and comes up with some novel torments... knowing elves are allergic to silver, he puts a silver earring on him. However, things are not as dark or serious as such a setup would imply... as serious as they would be in, say, a Francesca Bathory slash story. Lord Giles is a youthful and light-hearted sort, characteristics rather out of place for a slave owner, and after a while the elf decides to be light-hearted too -- tired of being tied to the bedposts (a repeated theme in these stories) he decides to become more aggressive with his master. This turnabout is portrayed in a teasing, whimsical way that, to my taste, is out of place for a slave fic, which should by its nature be more serious. And as usual for slashy slave fics, there's nary an explanation of how or why this pseudo-Renaissance society maintains slavery as a societal institution. This was light, fluffy slash reading (think a well- beaten meringue, flavored with lemon) and Moniquill writes it well. But I wish there had been more originality and maturity. In a genre this young, with such young writers, those are qualities difficult to find.
For Lord and Land [A/A-]
This author has come up with a story that treads the middle ground between yaoi and original slash, with excellent visual writing that made me imagine it as a lushly detailed manga or animated series. The land of Ardae is ruled by the red-haired, twinkish young Emporer Ardel Aidan, also known as the Dragon, a being of absolute sovereignty who has an elemental, inherited control over fire that makes him a living God in the eyes of his people. Unfortunately, he's nuttier than a fruitcake and prone to irrational hissyfits. To fix things his loyal knights decide he needs the (male) reincarnation of the Leviathan, who has elemental control over water, to cool him down and stabilize him. Two young knights, Cian and Dante, are dispatched to search for this individual, who will be the Emporer's bed-slave as well as his nurse. Things are complicated when one of the knights turns out to be the Leviathan they're searching for, and is not thrilled at all about serving as a slave. Meanwhile the Emporer is having his psyche twisted by an underling who has control over the element of Air. This all adds up to a very interesting plot which was one of the busiest and most ambitious I've seen in this genre, with a derivative but fascinating worldsetting, a number of well-defined characters, and plenty of slashiness including slavery, semiconsensual M/M sex, teasing flirtations, and tearful confessions. It succeeded in most of what it did, but I would have liked to have seen, as in Moniquill story above, less restraint and more maturity; also, the plot seemed to rush by at times, with critical events happening off- stage (such as the two heroes fighting off the treacherous underling) while other plot points were not explored at all. In fact these five chapters could have easily been ten. I also grew annoyed at how the author broke down the sexual roles between males into male and female, doer and done by, even though she was careful to point out the lovers do switch off on occasion. Many slash writers do this, and it seems to be a growing trend -- a replay of the uke-seme rules from manga, I'm afraid. However, for an original slash fantasy, there was lots and lots of promise here, particularly in how the author handled her characters. I encourage her to continue writing in the universe she has created and watch the tendency to skim over and rush her plots.
Of Unicorn Flesh [A]
Here's a slash fairy tale which is interesting because instead of being based on real-world elements it is based on fictional ones, the unspoken laws of slash. An unwanted foundling is given over to the church of his village to be raised, his unluck inspiring rejection and derision from the other children. One day he has enough of it and runs off into the Forest of Monsters, where he meets a dragon who tells him what he must do to never be unwanted again. Unfortunately, it turns him into a stereotypical yaoi hero ("sturdy arms, a tapered waist, high legs, and the frame of youth. His hair swept over his broad shoulders in the color of a polished blade, smooth and sleek. His skin glowed in the sunlight as if dusted with silver... his eyes were like blue pearls even from thirty feet away") who is wanted, for sexual use, by everyone he meets, which leads to him being serially enslaved, and serially raped, by the powerful males of his kingdom all the way on up to the emporer. This was an interesting take on yaoi cliches that came out, I think, more slyly amusing than the author meant it to be, at least to my sensibilities. It could almost have been a cruel alternate-world fairy tale in the "be careful what you wish for" vein, though it ended on a confusing note that seemed thrown in simply to bring the story to a close. But what came before was a smart, lovely hoot.
Bloodraven, Chapters 1, 2, 3 [A+]
This story was one of the more... extreme let's say, featuring intense interspecies rape and tons of violence and cruelty. And as such the author goes way, way out with it, taking it to an orbit I never thought possible, at least until I read it. The author is, first of all, somewhat of a prodigy in yaoi circles, a self-published writer with an astonishing number of fanfic and original stories to her credit. Plus, she's a helluva artist as well, one of the finest manga/doujinshi amateurs out there, featuring on her website dozens upon dozens of pretty yaoi boys in athletic X-rated contortions. (Thank God for Poser software.) She also has her own style, halfway between the traditional bug-eyed manga and the tighter, more realistic 'American' look with its broad shoulders and six-packs.
But back to the fiction. "Bloodraven" is an ongoing
multichapter serial (and they are long chapters) set in
a fantasy world of Medieval kingdoms, druidic forests,
ogres, and half-ogres. The hero is Yhalen, a guilt-
ridden teen who gets captured by some orgrish raiders
and is promptly made into a slave of them, and it ain't
pretty. For one thing, they've got *fingers* the size of
baseball bats, so you can imagine what their dicks can
do:
The wine lubricated nothing so well as the thick blood
that began to flow, hot and stinging down Yhalen's spine
and across his thighs.
He did scream then, when the bulge of the knuckle
threatened to split already torn muscle. Cried and
cursed and spasmodically tried to jerk his body away
from the intrusion and failed. And hopelessly, miserably
failed. He did nothing but scrape his arms and hands
against the bark of the tree and amuse the gathered
monsters.
Fortunately the hero has a magical ability that lets him heal quickly, but there's plenty of sheer terror as he's sexually molested and carted through the woods to their camp, where Bloodraven, the physically smaller but more intelligent half-ogre leader of the tribe, claims him as his prize. The depiction of slavery was pretty raw compared to most yaoi stories: there's plenty of pain and discomfort, not to mention fear. It's also the real thing, the BDSM and D/s elements lacking, and candid in its depiction of feces, blood, sweat, and dirt. The story was more of a situational one than one with a strong plot or characters, but what an intense situation it was, and it gets its A+ rating from its sheer appetite in depicting some very dark aspects of fantasy. If there was a flaw in the story, it's that the first 1,800 words or so were almost unintelligible. Something about Yhalen cavorting in the forest with friends who initiate a lover's triangle that is interrupted by the ogres, causing Yhalen guilt for the rest of the story. It could, and probably should, be skipped, for the reader to pick up the story at the ogre-capture part. Highly recommended if you like abusive yaoi stories, or wild and intense fantasy tales.
Devotion, Chapters 1 and 2 [B+]
This story was one of the more typically yaoi ones, as such followed one of the more popular slashy plotlines: young guy is sold as a slave and has to adjust to his new situation. Not escape or protest: adjust. I've seen it used dozens of times, in fanfics ranging from Gundam Wing to N'sync, and on the Nifty Archives as well. It obviously strikes a chord in both gay men and straight women. The author tackles it in typical yaoi style, first of all setting up her world: Trivea, a decadent city with a distinct upper class and underclass, ruled by the mysterious nobles who live on the guarded isle of Sefiros. The nobles periodically swoop down on the city to buy attractive pleasure slaves, and therein lies our story. Cyan (a recurring name in yaoi stories) is the fey, useless son of a wealthy family who is sold by his own father to pay off a bad debt, and so off he goes into slavehood, purchased by a lord who takes him to the island. There he's put into a male harem of sorts with other yaoi boys, who are all thoroughly, and tediously at times, described by their skin, hair and eye color and typical mode of dress. This introductory part goes on too long maybe, and the reactions of the harem slaves to each other are somewhat junior high (and probably inspired by some junior high anime) but there's intiguing possibilities in the idea of male whores putting up with each other the best they can. However, like the Moniquill story, it does all come across as juvenile; the nastier aspects aren't touched on, and there's plenty of tears and helpless whinging from the protagonist, who acts all of nine or ten. Another annoyance I found was that the story's writing style was too long on the visual descriptions and too short on the action. I found myself skipping over the lengthy summations of halls and rooms, trying to get to a place where the characters are actually advancing the plot. In sum, how much you'd like this depends on your tolerance for fluffy, well-sweetened yaoi stories. Whatever the meringue level, though, it was promising in that it introduced some interesting characters and the potential conflicts among them.
Tarnished Armor, Chapters 1 and 2 [A]
Liz Cheng (aka Pluto) is another multitalented writer/artist. She started out in the anime fandoms but has also branched out into Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and original slash. This story was in fact more slash than yaoi, and more mainstream fic than slash, in the style of Ellen Kushner and the more modern pro-gay fantasy writers. Marcus is an ordinary soldier in a Medieval world who is sent on a mission to serve Geran, the King of Mirivir. He's wowed by the exotic splendor and beauty of the court, and by the equally exotic and beautiful boy-king himself ("...like a dragon, golden and exotic, with sleek-sharp features that made him look neither young nor old. His hair was no one color, but mottled and streaked like a wild animal's mane in varying shades of gold and copper and brown. It was swept back away from his face and tumbled just past his shoulders") who, in addition to his slashy attributes, is also an Ifuldrin, a sacred dragon warrior of sorts. Their story is told in the form of flashbacks from a present day viewpoint when it's revealed things have not gone down well between the pair: an adult Geran has invaded Marcus' kingdom and captured him in battle. The story was smoothly and professionally written and I enjoyed reading it, particularly the teasing dialogue between Geran and Marcus. Their relationship was at the center of the story, and its progress was affectionate and believable. Overall, though, the story was trying very hard to be mainstream fiction and not slash. As such, most of the colorful and histrionic elements were missing, and it was perhaps too boring. Marcus goes on and on about his low birth, his physical plainness, and his unworthiness to be a companion to the beautiful and noble boy-king; it got to be tiring. Since we only heard what he had to say, I really had no idea why the king was enthralled with this guy. At several points he even wants to break off the relationship, only to be pushed into continuing it by the commander of the diplomatic mission, in the hopes he'll influence the king to look more favorably on their country; it's also suggested that he whore himself for the mission's good. But while this part was written well, it just didn't have the vicious sting and emotional impact it could have. In sum, the main character was a lump, bound by duty, with few attractive qualities, and the intriguing one, the king, wasn't given the words he needed to shine (such as why he seems to be so perenially unhappy) at least not in these chapters, where we're stuck with Dullboy. The story also lacked the detail and color, both emotional and descriptive, that one gets from yaoi and slash; I suspect it was edited out for space or 'professional' reasons, which is too bad, as some wildness might have livened things up. I can't rate the story badly, however, because as I said it was an entertaining read, and I'm motivated to read the rest of the chapters. But I think the writer put too many chains on herself.
The Pirate, Parts 1 and 2 [C]
Pirates go slash in this story, which wasn't labeled as such, but clearly is by the style. It was originally written and posted ten years ago by someone with the name of "Wolfpup."
The male protagonist is the victim of a pirate raid in which his father dies and his mother and sisters are captured. He awakes tied up in the pirate's ship and immediately starts feeling sorry for himself ("He felt his tears flow in grief for his father, and the ship lurched again. He felt his stomach respond, and he vomited onto the floor, next to where he was laying.") That pretty much sets the tone for everything that follows, in which said vomit receives several more mentions before finally being cleaned up. I don't know, is dwelling on vomit really appropriate for a nice slashy sex fantasy? I'd rather be thinking of other body fluids. Anyway, as usual for a pirate story the protagonist is claimed as a slave by the captain:
This speech references an odd combination of personality traits for a pirate -- he's at once melancholy, sympathetic and sadistic, and prone to schoolmarmish lecturing -- and indicates a lack of writing skill on the part of the author. The rest of the story was not very good either. It had the overdetailed yet distant tone of the journeyman slash writer, with a boring style and lots of overwrought tears and sadism that never went anywhere. It read like the author was just tooling around, putting down whatever cliches (such as leashed and collared slaves crawling about on deck) came to his or her mind. I couldn't even figure out how old the protagonist was supposed to be, never mind how he felt about all this.
Uninvolving and definitely on the "eh" side of slash.
Captivity [A]
Maureen Lycaon specializes in slash, both fur and non-
fur. She is perhaps better known for her fur tales, but
there's some good swords n' loincloth adventure as well.
This story is promised as the first chapter of a longer
series. To ensure a continuing peace, the nomads of the
plains must offer selected young males of their tribe as
slave tributes to their city-dwelling conquerors. The
position is both an honor and a penance for the slaves,
for their new masters don't follow the taboos against
homosexual relations that the plainsmen do. The story
follows the adventures of one of these sacrifices, Rain,
who becomes the slave of Lord Michael. The Lord is
alternately affectionate and brutal in his quest for
Rain's submission, and conflict comes about because poor
Rain is quite straight, not to mention being confused
and wanting to do good by his people:
Lord Michael had reduced him to begging for mercy,
even the mercy of death, so easily. Rain would gladly
have killed himself or the Lord, betraying his honor
and his Clan, rather than go on enduring that lash for
one more moment.
Surely he could be made to suffer like that for much
longer -- perhaps for days or even weeks. The thought
made bitter nausea rise in his stomach, forcing him to
swallow down the bile. What would it be like to have
to endure such pain again and again for the rest of
his life? By the terms of the oath, he could not even
slay himself to end the pain.
He could not possibly abide by what he had sworn. He
would certainly forsake his vow and betray the Clans.
His people's only hope was that when that happened,
Lord Michael would ignore his pleas for mercy and not
let him go back on his word.
It's different from the standard slash fare, and I found
it intelligent and involving. A very good start to a
longer tale, but as a reader I wish there had been a
chapter before this one explaining how these events had
come about, instead of the brief prologue the author
gives. I felt dumped too quickly into the middle of the
action; what could have been a well-rounded original
slash story instead had all the rushed earmarks of
fanfic.
Captive [B+]
My! This is a popular theme.
Mikk, the son of the Celtic god Lugh, is captured and
brought before his father's greatest enemy, Lugh Danube.
Lugh is as heavy a god of war as they come, arrogantly
tormenting innocent underlings and possessing great
magic and telepathic power, but he senses Mikk is his
near-equal in strength. This sparks a sexual tension
between captor and captive with lots of cat-and-mouse
dialogue play between the two. After these (rather
inconclusive) mind games young Mikk rather nonchalantly
offers sex as the price of his freedom, and the two then
go at it in a slutty slash scene:
Mikk chuckled, hands sliding against bare skin as he
slid Lugh's shirt off. "Impatient." He scratched lightly
over a nipple with one thumbnail. "Delicious too." His
eyes raked over Lugh's chest, his tongue darting out
appreciatively over his lips.
Lugh sank his teeth into the curve of Mikk's neck,
making the boy jump and moan. "You're sexy as hell and I
haven't gotten any in a long time."
His captive thrust against him with a sound very like a
whimper. He was already hard and obviously very
responsive. "Not even," he panted, slipping a hand in
Lugh's pants and stroking along the shape of his
erection, "a pretty pet to suck you off?"
The story had many similarities to the Duncan/Methos
Highlander fanfic I've read and I wonder if the authors
didn't come out of the same fandom. It wasn't a bad
read, but there was a lack of tension. Since the authors
made it clear from the beginning that Mikk is in no
great danger from Lugh -- and in fact seemed only to be
biding his time before his seduction -- there was no
incentive for me to keep reading. Since the characters
didn't take their predicament too seriously I couldn't
take it seriously either, and neither could, I suspect,
the writers. I know I often complain about the level of
brutality in some slash stories but here it's needed --
let these characters suffer some before they have their
reward.
The story's future fantasy setting -- in which the
deities of Earth religions are presented as larger-than-
life immortals who are continuously at war with each
other -- was confusing also. In this respect it borrowed
heavily from anime, which has similar mythologically
mixed, often illogical backgrounds; in this case,
however, the anachronisms annoyed me. Lugh zipping off
one-liners you'd hear in a gay bar? Not very likely.
Well, at least none of the gods were wearing boxers.
Spring [C+]
Often I'm not sure if yaoi is a subgenre of slash or an
anime-influenced companion to it. Its writers and
artists are synthesists rather than extrapolaters,
borrowing themes, character archetypes, and mythic
elements from Japan's Asian neighbors, and often from
European mythic culture as well... unlike most fanfic
slash, which adheres by its nature to canon (and fanon.)
This accounts for the yaoi profusion of robe-wearing
princes with neon-colored hair who ride winged horses
and live in magical Sleeping Beauty castles. I'm
exaggerating of course, but that's often how it is.
This story was about two of those princes, raised as
brothers though they are not related by blood. This
creates a naughty incest plotline when the two discover
their attraction to each other. One is tall and robust,
the other aqua-haired and fey, and most of the first
chapter is given over to their day-to-day life as they
try to figure out how to act on it.
This wasn't a very interesting story even given the
exoticism in the setup. The lovers are sticky-sweet and
undifferentiated, the seduction goes about at a snail's
pace (with the usual yaoi clothing obsessions) and
nothing much happens to impede the romance, or aid it.
Some glaring errors ("his procession slowly wound over
the dessert sands" "shinning with sweat") enlivened the
going, but weren't enough to loose my usually sarcastic
juices. In fact not many juices of any kind were
released.
Read only if you like your lemon on the young side and
overly sweetened.
Slave to Love [C/C-]
This story was found on the Hothouse Archive, a
yaoi/slash original fiction site.
Young Keif is a catan, a sort of diminutive elven
humanoid with pointed furry ears. He wanders away from
his tribe (to "where the trees are naked") and is
promptly captured by slavers. This is a yaoi tale, after
all. He's put up on the auction block and nearly bought
by the fearsome Lady Elsa, who likes to torture slaves
to death. But a mysterious stranger ups the price and
rescues him in the nick of time, and after escaping from
the henchmen of the disgruntled Lady, the two flee into
the wilderness. The master later frees him, but Keif,
apparently infatuated, elects to stay enslaved. "Thee"
and "thy" declarations of love follow.
This story wasn't very good. It was also poorly written;
past and present flowed together, with willy-nilly
changes of POV. The main character of the catan was a
girly little creature ("...beautiful light blue eyes,
blond hair, brownish complexion, a rare catan no doubt.
Mostly he heard that catans have light wood colored
skin, so he guessed this one was a late bloomer. He
wears nothing except a short skirt made by animal skin
and a rope to hold it together, covering his private
parts") given to childish temper tantrums (" 'NO!' Keif
shouted. 'I don't wanna be his slave, I don't wanna!' As
he began to remove the collar, he twisted and turned,
but he could not remove it... He just slumps to the
grass and cries.") I know yaoi requires a certain amount
of prettiness and passivity from its love objects, but
this is going too far.
Aside from the atrocious writing and unconvincing
characters, the problem I had was that there was
absolutely no reason for the master to free a slave he
paid upwards of 60,000 monetary units for -- which in
the context of the story is a small fortune -- and
absolutely no reason for the slave to stick with him
after being given his freedom. The supposedly shared
infatuation didn't convince, and that's the purpose of
yaoi, right?
The Fallen Dragon Key [A]
Since I last reviewed the Palace of the Keys site
(1/24/03 Reviews) two new games have started up, one
featuring keys based on mythological creatures
(phoenixes, dragons, chimeras) and another on types of
magic (black, white, scrying) This story is one of the
first of the Mythological keys.
Things start with a Neil Gaiman tone as the eternal
incarnations of Torment and Delight, a brother-sister
pair of gods, discuss with their father Fire about what
to do with the recalcitrant Zoreem Atulan Fetim, once
the Great King, an arrogant, rapacious warlord sentenced
to eternal torture until he recants his misdeeds. He
hasn't so far, so it's decided that he will be
reincarnated into the body of the fey, twinkish
Kasander, a skinny, mistreated whore of the Palace,
where he will receive sexual abuse as his lot in life.
This doesn't seem to do the trick either, so Torment
himself visits in the guise of Kukuluth, one of the
mysterious dark knights common to these keyfics.
Kukuluth takes on the job of mastering Fetim in a loving
way: he makes sure that every day he eats healthy meals,
exercises, and cleans himself thoroughly, both inside
and out:
"Then you will insert the tip."
He ran the oil-slicked nozzle down the cleft between
Kasander's ass cheeks, and rubbed the pucker hidden
there. A shudder ran through Kasander at the light
probing. Kukuluth gently pressed the small tip into
Kasander's body.
He heard Kasander's hiss. Kukuluth looked at him with no
sympathy.
"I told you not to fight. You're just making it worse on
yourself." He paused. "Then you'll turn on the water."
Kukuluth turned the water on to a decent trickle.
"You *will* tell me when you're full." he commanded. He
had no intention of being sprayed in revenge.
Finally, Kasander started gurgling something and
Kukuluth shut the water off and removed the tip.
"You will wait until you can't hold it anymore, and then
you will release the water in the toilet."
Hmm, this seems a little out of place for a yaoi-
oriented pretty-boy keyfic... not to mention that daily
enemas are now frowned on in the medical community as
damaging to the body, loosening certain muscles so, uh,
what's inside slips out at awkward times. And bringing
the body's colonic chemical balance out of whack, or
whatever. Nevertheless, there was a lot of good BDSM in
here, not presented in scenes but rather hinted at, such
as the coyly underdescribed furniture that doubles as
torture devices, a musical ballgag, and a wall of
mirrors facing a wooden cross. Later chapters will tell
if any of it is put to good use. The writing was good,
too, the yashiness (an amalgam of Yaoi and slash) in
full flower, lush and cruel.
More than that, however, the writer seemed to be doing
some very interesting things within the genre,
presenting the slave as a rather nasty, powerful being
under a compulsion to obey, which will somehow serve as
his redemption. It's an inverse of all those fics where
the key is a helpless being tortured for no reason at
all; here the key has every reason to be tortured but
isn't, his Master acting to improve his life instead. It
was different, and the story promises to unwind in
unexpected ways, too.
The Adored [A/A-]
As slash writers spawn multibook fanfic epics, complete
with PWP interludes, sidebars, character studies, and
bios, so do yaoi writers, though it's less common
because there are comparatively less of them. Some yaoi
sites I visit must contain hundreds of thousands of
words, which is not so surprising considering the anime
tendency to do the same thing, particularly in Gundam
Wing, Patlabor, Dragonball, and Gathchaman series.
Fanfic, being a child of the shared media experience,
always imitates that media to some degree, along with
the content of that media.
This story was from one of those epic sites, which
contained a lengthy story series about a science fantasy
world known as Rhepsadi. Rhepsadian society is divided
into the Makers (the overlords), the Chosen (the elite),
and the proles (everyone else) with the Chosen having
enhanced physical and mental powers that lets them rule.
However, they are forbidden by the Makers to marry or
have children, so, in "The Adored," a male and a female
scientist (who may or not be incestuous siblings) create
the synthetic Lyle Frost, as a surrogate son. In
"Playgame" Hadal Ruby, the telepathic prole companion of
the Queen (disparagingly referred to as "gene trash" by
the Chosen) is forced into the role of assassin when he
is sent to kill the boy-prince of another city. He is
thwarted at the last minute when he falls in love with
his target in a scene more shonen-ai than yaoi.
Both stories were chock-full of exoticisms like "His
lashes are long and dark-silver; his hair is like
platinum blended with talc" and "he presented me and
Rhea with ornately carved silver-and-ruby rings, our
passes to Titania Palace's Chamber of Decisions" which
gave it a lush Michael Moorcock (the science fiction
author) flavor. The writing was good and the author
sketched out some memorable characters in this beautiful
yet oddly bloodless world. My only criticism is that,
even though both stories were at the beginning of the
series, I still felt like I had jumped in on the middle
-- there was little explanation of exactly how this
society worked, for example. But that's common in many
published SF and fantasy stories as well, where it's a
given that the main characters are the ennobled
aristocracy who rule the contemptible masses. Though
it's now a netfic cliche, character bios and a world
guide would have been helpful.
In sum, interesting shounen-ai with no sex, though there
may be some in later chapters. But the world was
intriguing enough to make me want to return.
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