The Annex Reviews, July 2000
7/7/00 - Alvi's Inspired Daydreams 05010 (Dr Mentor); Brother, Busted, Parts 1 and 2 (Dr. Wu); Untitled (Tc); Website Review: The Big Gulp Story Page 7/17/00 - Free Blow Jobs (Virago Blue); Eyeliner (Henrik Larsen); Security Considerations (Boris Ludmenkov); The Shield of the Jedi (Emma Woodhouse); New Tech (J R D) 7/30/00 - Gilded Iron, Parts 1 and 2 (Doran Runninghawk); The Feral Boy's Archive: Document #14 (Nathan); The Story of Yojimbo and Suziku (Portheus); A String of Pearls (Largo Scuro)
7/7/00
This story came with a long, rather stern foreword warning us: "This may count as a "stroke" story, or not. Actually, I deliberately started out to do that. The whole idea of the "Daydreams" was to have an excuse to write short, hot vignettes. The characters seem to be taking on a life of their own. In any case, I plan to have a high ratio of erotic content over character development and plot. Live erotically, and tell those who excite you that they do! The caution in the subject line is because this story includes women who have undergone surgical genital modification, though the surgical event is not described here. No knives, blood, or gore here. You just get to see the fun they have with it after it has been long healed." So immediately I thought this was going to be one of those ultra-bizarre piercing/tat/kidnap/sex slave tales, and of course I went for it like a duck goes for water. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be more like an English children's fantasy gone D/s -- it had the preciousness of "The Hobbit" and the otherworldly feel of Narnia and Madeline L'Engle, but without all the magic and talking animals.
Alvi and Robbyn are two highly sexed sisters who live in the cutely
named "town of Sheauxville, a suburb of New Domington, in the
province of Biyendee in the People's Republic of Genitamia" which
exists in "Multiverse 915.807 + 836.808i /bis, now LIVE on the
OmniversalRealityWeb." Aside from the punny names, it's actually a lot
like Earth, with dress shops and school buses and everything. Anyway,
young Alvi has a thing for daydreaming about D/s and bondage
scenarios involving ropes stretched tight across women's crotches, and
the story is, in fact, a story-in-story about the daydreams that occur to
her as she binds herself the same way:
The story continues into another fantasy where she's tied and tickled by members of the "Sisterhood" and forced to wear a dress with burlap patches rubbing against her sensitive parts. How well you like this story depends on how much you're into being scratched, tickled, rubbed, or irritated by various objects. As the author said, no real plot, but the tickling/bondage scenario was well done, and the "surgical modification" rather mild (clit hoods have been notched to allow access more readily). Despite the warnings, it was all rather inoffensive and polite. So if you like tickling, check this out.
Brother, Busted [B+]
I was of two minds about this story. On the one hand, it was written well and had a good ear for dialogue; on the other, some of its assumptions were fairly ridiculous, and the POVs were poorly handled.
Kyle Lowe is masturbating as he listens to a Britney Spears CD with his
sister Kim's dirty panties over his face when his trim, "ball-busting"
Aunt Viv catches him in the act. Kinky thoughts immediately flash
through her head. She threatens to tell his Dad -- who will respond by
taking away the $40,000 red BMW he uses to drive to school -- unless he
obeys her orders. Telling him to strip and wait at attention, she takes
aside 13-year-old Kim and gives her instruction in what they are going
to do next:
"Aunt Viv, duh! I'm not a baby!"
"Of course not, honey. And the second way to control a man is through
causing him pain, specifically pain in his testicles. A boy's balls are
unbelievably tender and sensitive, and sometimes even a little tap at
just the right angle can be very painful. But Kyle is in a position where
he has to take whatever is dished out, so he may get much more than a
little tap tonight. Now tell me honest, Kim: If I set it up, can you kick
your brother in the nuts so hard that he thinks he's gonna die?"
Kim swallowed. God, she didn't know what to say. She'd never even
considered it. But then suddenly she did know what to say. "You bet I
can! I can make that bastard sorry he ever stole my panties. When I get
done with him, his poor balls are gonna be permanently stuck in his
stomach!"
The story then proceeds as a nicely handled cock n' balls n' asshole teasing tale, with bondage. The feelings of the young man were the highlight of the piece -- a must in a D/s story, which one usually reads to experience the thrill of submission without the messy real-life complications -- but the viewpoints of the sister and aunt, though also well done, overcomplicated the story, and destroyed the surprise of what was going to happen next to the male teenager, because the two have already discussed it amongst themselves. It would have been much better to tell the story only from one POV, the aunt's, Kim's, or Kyle's. And though the dialogue in the story felt true-to-life, other elements defied credibility -- like a teenager who is of driving age needing a babysitter, or the same parents buying the kid a $40,000 car...or that high school girls would be more impressed by a red BMW than a shiny red sports car. There was also the question of exactly why Aunt Viv is so into femdom. If the story was just in the kid's POV, it wouldn't have mattered; but the since the story purports to know what makes her tick, too, it's a big shortcoming. I've always held that D/s blackmail stories should either have a light, cartoony touch or a heavy, serious, over-the-top one; in both cases realism is for the most part unimportant, because the D/s'ing is the thing. But this story tried very hard to be "real" and that's where it fell slightly short, for me at least, because it wasn't quite real enough.
Untitled [B+]
There being no male equivalent of catfight that I know of, I decided that this story's subject matter was cockfighting. I couldn't find a title in the file. Two athletic young men, Johan and Shoun, are kidnapped and taken to a sinister gym to be trained for the illegal sport of "caging" which means trying to rape each other without inflicting permanent damage. ("It is not wrestling, for you only win with a coupling pin. It is not fighting, because drawing blood is forbidden. All efforts must be made to keep your opponent intact.") The two are surprised at first, but then take to the concept. All the men are young, hung, and go around naked; both sex and fighting is encouraged. Junk food is available 24 hours a day and beds are everywhere and in full view of everyone else. And there are so many different places to see and cocks to ogle! This story seems to be based on the same premise behind the movie "Fight Club" and it shows promise. The writing was rough at first, but improves when the two arrive at the complex, and there seems to be a budding romance as well. The author doesn't dwell on the unpleasant aspects of being kidnapped (fear, anxiety, hunger, missing family and friends, etc.) and instead shows the protagonists curious and interested in learning about their new situation. Chances are the readers will be, too.
The Website Review of The Big Gulp Story Library has been removed because it no longer exists.
7/17/00
A trio of college kids go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. As anyone who
isn't media-blind knows, the annual celebration is a prime opportunity
to watch females flash their boobs for cheap beads thrown by hooting
males. I'm not sure if this is a long-standing tradition or a recent
development. It's also worth noting that some males have taken to
showing their dicks in the same manner, for the same booty. Anyway,
the trio watches the Saturnalia on the street below from a balcony and
sees something unusual:
That pretty much says it all about New Orleans during Mardi Gras. This was a raunchy story rather than an erotic or porny one, but it caught with crystalline clarity the mood of the city without one word too many, in the way of a small vignette you'd see in an "alternative" travel guide. For that I give it an A+.
Eyeliner [A+]
Two young teens who have just started to date get together for an
afternoon of the hanging around that young teens are wont to do.
They're in her bedroom, on her bed, when the narrator picks up an
eyeliner pencil and asks what it is. Amused at his ignorance, his
girlfriend demonstrates on her arm; and seeing the possibilities, he
takes it up next, and continues the sketch on her. The story proceeds
like that, the two swapping doodles back and forth, until eventually the
artwork begins to stray:
She didn't wear a bra. She didn't need one and I guess they didn't come
in her size either. Her tits were small. Two cones at the top of her
ribcage, standing up very proud. On top of each cone was another tiny
cone, topped with a very small nipple. I noticed that the freckles from
her face spread down over the top of her chest and there were even a
few on her tits too.
I was thrilled beyond my wildest fantasies.
We were both breathing heavily, looking at Annie's tits. Annie stared as
much as I did. I barely dared to move at all, fearing that Annie would
back out and pull down her shirt again. But she didn't. She didn't do
anything else either and I was suddenly paralysed. I mean, I wanted to
touch her, badly, but I didn't dare.
'I want to draw on you too,' Annie suddenly said and sat up.
It all winds up with mutual masturbation, not penetration, which is the more realistic scenario for young teens embarking on their first explorations. But make no mistake, there's more sex ahead of them. This was an excellent story about first times, the author catching the sexual curiosity and hesitation of the boy and girl very well. The young man's voice was especially well done...it was all the hotter for its innocent tone, which is very to affect in a sex story. Everyone should have had a first time like this, but those who didn't...can now have one secondhand. Probably the best teen story of the year so far.
Security Considerations [A]
I like mind control stories, but I always feel slightly ashamed for reading them. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the wish-fulfillment factor combined with one's deepest, darkest nightmares. Who wouldn't want to have total power of life and death over other human beings? And who in their right mind would want a stranger to have total power of life and death over them? Of course, the fun in the stories comes from the sexual spin in just these situations, with the writer taking the POV of the Controller, or the Controlled, and either way it creates a kinky intensity I've seen only in the more extreme bondage tales. With mind control, literally *anything* is possible, because the normal limits on human behavior don't exist. That said, there's always holes of logic in an mc tale. For example, why do other people never notice the machinations of the Controller? Sure, they have a certain power, but there's only one of them, and millions of free-thinking law enforcement, intelligence, and military officers. And given this, how do they hide themselves? And what exactly do they do with all the power they have?
The author of this story takes those questions and gives them a run. He
postulates that the mind controllers of the world have formed an elite,
secret society to protect themselves from mundanes, and the story is told
entirely in dialogue as a member of this society confronts an mc rogue
who has put them in danger with his misuse of the power. Amusingly,
the rogue has used his powers the way most males in mc stories do:
The story ends with a twist I'm not going to reveal, but it was very funny, and seems to be aimed at other mc writers. There's no outward sex in the story, but it's recommended, because it turns the genre on its ear and shows us how silly it really it is, while also showing us how naughty it is.
The Shield of the Jedi [A]
Slash amuses me greatly at times. Writers of the more violent stuff often have the unspoken conceit that what they write is more ennobled than similarly-themed porn because they deal with taboo topics as they relate to character and plot, rather than exploiting them for all they're worth. Rarely will you find slash on a porn website or porn newsgroup. But hardcore slash is still hardcore porn even if it keeps different company, and though the writer may say the juicy bits are there for character development or plot drama the sheer amount of detail given over to them tells us it's something more. In a nutshell, they're just as kinky and exploitive as anything of Parker's or Phil Phantom's or Steven S. Davis's, particularly when the stories include extended rape and torture scenes, as this one does.
The story takes place in the Star Wars universe, before "The Phantom
Menace." Young Obi-Wan has been chosen as Qui-Gonn Jinn's
apprentice at the Jedi Academy. But Qui-Gonn is kidnapped on an away
mission and chained up, naked, in a dungeon with walls of Force-
absorbing stone. Darth Sidious is the one responsible, and after much
cackling and gloating he rapes Qui-Gonn again and again and milks him
of his semen. Woodhouse is one of the better Star Wars slash writers and
includes in her story touches of D/s and mind control, along with some
man-boy love as Sidious draws out Qui-Gonn's secret desire for his
fifteen-year-old apprentice:
"As you approach your place, he moans, he calls for his Master. He
raises his hips so you can see that he is prepared for you, that he needs
you to claim him, take him."
Qui-Gon was panting now, thrusting with his hips.
"Yes! Move closer. Open your trousers and place those charming legs
over your shoulders. The room is hot, the air thick with the scent of sex,
and the group moans in unison as you thrust into your Padawan,
claiming him publicly as your own."
Qui-Gon groaned aloud, thrusting faster into the moist heat. His head
was swimming. "Thrust into him, strongly, powerfully! Yes, he is yours,
only yours for life. He knows it, he loves it, he pushes back against you,
crying out for his Master's seed, his Master's mark within him!"
Qui-Gon threw back his head and howled loudly as he came, feeling Obi-
Wan writhing beneath him. Then he hung heavily from his chains,
panting harshly. His eyes were closed.
There's even a sort of long, loving coda to the rape after Obi-Wan comes to the rescue; he examines Qui-Gonn's abused body and slips him some healing Force up his damaged rectum. Hmmm...rape, mc, pedo, AND milking...I wonder if the writer knew exactly what she was calling up? These bits did turn out to be pretty hot, but since I am not a fan of the movie, they were lost on me if they were meant as character sketches. But I wonder if that was what the author really meant. The rest of the story, which concerned Obi-Wan's search and eventual rescue of Qui-Gonn, lacked the detail, suspense and intensity of the rape scenes, leading me to speculate that the "straight" story functioned as a sort of excuse to justify the writing of the rape scenes -- a screen of respectability so to speak. Many published science fiction writers use plot the same way -- as a cover for the kink -- and, unlike mainstream literature where critics often react in horror (e.g., Lolita, American Psycho) the SF writers get away with it because of the genre's pulpy roots and speculative nature. I actually wish the author had gone more over the top with the idea than she had; there seemed to be a conscious holding back on her part. But then slash writers prefer to stick to conventional (read: publishable) writing styles in general. Musings aside, the writing was good, and if Obi-Wan accomplishes his mission a little too easily, the rape scenes were angsty, and there was plenty of emotional incest. I had the feeling that the writer received two distinct thrills from the piece: first in its conception and writing, then in its transgression. George Lucas, and most conventional Star Wars fans, would react violently against this spin on the characters. It's a double raspberry of sorts on the part of the author.
New Tech [B-/C+]
For the third time in these reviews I'm going to say "Yuck." (The second was for "The $10,000 Blowjob" which I decided to pass on. I've got limits.) Two more socially and sexually inept guys are fond of fooling around in Internet chat rooms, one role-playing a strapping she-male dominatrix, the other a submissive she-male slave. Hmm. Nothing intrinsically wrong with this. But wait...they're computer programmers! They email their code back and forth to critique when they aren't whipping and foot-licking each other! Now, would you honestly entrust your vital business, medical, and financial records to software systems configured by these guys? I wouldn't. And as an amateur programmer, I'm hopping mad at the stereotype that computer buffs can only relate sexually through silly role-playing games over a modem line. Sarcasm aside (I wasn't being totally serious, by the way, but I'll let you decide how irked I was) I found this story well-written but bland, even though a fair amount of imagination went into it. That is, the writing style was very linear and direct: "They did this. They did that" and none of the writer's personality showed through...it was like white bread, vanilla pudding, cottage cheese. About half the stories on ASS have this problem. Technically there's nothing wrong with them, but they're just...boring, like everyone's read the same "How to Write Fiction: The Basics" book. And the two characters showed absolutely no passion or real involvement in what they were doing...it's like their libidos were on autopilot. Plus the whole concept just squicks me. Computer geeks pretending to be chicks with dicks. Yuck. I'd better stop now.
7/30/00
Gilded Iron, Chapters 1 and 2 [A]
Doran Runninghawk made a strong showing last April with the imaginative gay Aztec fantasy "Wendigo" which, although I did not give it a true A, impressed me with its lush, romantic language and fevered imagination. This story takes those elements to new heights as the author challenges a complicated SF-cum-fantasy theme which reminded me of nothing so much as a gayer version of British goth fantasist Storm Constantine's work.
Aristan is a teenage Noman, a race related to but very different than
humans, whose job it is to live ascetically and minister charity to the
human inhabitants of Ru'ul bintu Sheoli, a cold planet lit by a dying
sun. Naturally he rebels, sexually as well as morally, first with his
charges, then with Scipi, his housekeeper's son. The two sneak out to
visit a brothel and catch a glimpse of Malatar, the half-alien future
ruler of their planet. Malatar's alien half is "Scorpian," which is left
intriguingly unexplained, but like many of Constantine's
heroes/heroines, he is hermaphroditic, and has dark appetites:
This boy, Malatar decided, could easily be the most beauteous being in
the cosmos, male or female. A big strapping lad....a sturdy child.... The
scorpian also sensed inside him a weakness, perhaps, or a leaning
toward the darkness that could be carefully cultivated and nurtured. The
boy, no matter what race, could be valuable to Malatar when it became
Korazon and assumpter of the throne of it's sire.
"Guards!" Malatar shrieked, bringing them running instantly. "There
was a boychild with golden hair! Bring him to me at once!" First I will
try him for treason, it thought, for he did not wave his sandals above his
head as I passed. Malatar's golden eyes scanned the milling crowd,
trying to locate him again. The boy had disappeared as though he had
never been there at all. "Search the streets and bring me any child with
light hair! Hurry, dolts, lest he eludes you!"
Trouble mounts up as the guards pursue the two boys; there's a rape scene, followed by an apprehension by Aristan's church elders. Mixed up in all this are intimations of a special destiny for Aristan, a future relationship with Scipi along with sexual awakening and confusion, adventure off planet and on planet, political intrigue and sadism; there's a lot on the plate, and sometimes it spilled over and got messy. But what was there was fascinating for all its roughness and overabundance. Highly recommended for fans of gay SF and fantasy (though the story had bi leanings as well.)
The Feral Boy's Archive: Document #14: Bodyflex Bioware [A]
This story also reminded me of Storm Constantine's work and of the 1980s in general, when cyberpunk ruled the SF world and Duran Duran ruled the MTV airwaves. In fact. the title of this series of stories brought to mind their greatest video, "Wild Boys" in which young men of dubious sexual identity prance around a post-apocalyptic set with colored smoke, flashpots, and rickety windmills (some of which they were lashed to) wearing little else but leather rags, fingerless gloves, and moussed-to- oblivion rooster hair. The story confirmed my expectations in the author's foreword, which states: "The Feral Boy's Documents are a fictional creation. They purport to be the archive of a near-future tribe of adolescent boys. Wild boys in the best William Burroughs/Hakim Bey tradition. The documents will be comprised of all kinds of writing: fiction mostly but also poetry, ritual, sex manuals, police reports, Usenet ranting columns, letters, email correspondence and chat dialogue, technical guides to the near future fetish wear that the Feral Boys both design and make, and so on."
The story itself was more of an extended description than a plot with
characters, conflict, and resolution, but the writing was excellent. A
young kid of about 14 lies on a tenement rooftop, naked, and jacks a
porno program into the metal socket on his skull -- standard procedure
for cyberpunk -- to have sex with an artificial partner programmed by
"Bodyflex Bioware 2.3 (male version), copyright Max Lee, choice of
partner with 15 basic body types, customizable hair, eye and skin
colouring, each virtual partner fully rendered in Fractal Skin TM, semi-
AI learning capabilities conforming partner to user's needs after few
uses." Being too cool for normal sex, the kid has the program rape him:
The cybersex/cyberpunk scenario was excellently handled, if a little dated -- such devices are decades off, if they can ever be made to work at all, and the growth of net fandom cults has made the sharing of virtual worlds and cybersex into a reality even if it does not have all the bells and whistles of a sensorial interface. But then, everyone said microcomputers were decades off in the 1970s, too. Why do I like reading stories about teenage boys having strange sexual adventures in these outlandish settings? Because it's way more interesting than reading stories about teenage girls having mundane sexual adventures in domestic settings. If anyone can point me in the direction of a teen girl having outrageous sex in an Sf/fantasy/what- have-you scenario, I'd be highly charged to read it.
The Story of Yojimbo and Suziku [A+]
This story *sort of* fulfilled the above desire, though I don't know if the female character was a teen or not (though she *was* a virgin.) It was part Japanese classic cinema, part science fiction...as if Akira Kurosawa decided to make a Star Wars movie after watching Roger Vadim's "Barbarella."
Yojimbo is the samurai mercenary in the Toshiro Mifune role; when he
commandeers a Mandarin's junk and finds a slave girl hiding in a
barrel, he says, "Hmph! He is dead, and that makes you my slave now.
Come here, I have work for you. Come here now!" He puts her to work
pumping out the hull, but later other sorts of pumping occur. Not all of
them were standard. Here the slave girl has gotten herself in awkward
position -- she's at the ceiling of a very narrow room, with her knees
braced on two shelves at her right and left so her pussy is spread wide
for those looking up from below -- when her new master comes in and
is tempted by the sight. Unfortunately, she also has to pee really bad:
With one final flick of his tongue, Suziku lost all control. She cried out
in ecstasy as a tremendous orgasm flowed through her body. Her loins
contracted of their own accord again and again, as wave after wave of
pleasure rocked her to the core. With each wave, a squirt of golden fluid
escaped from her bursting bladder, each landing on the face or in the
mouth of her master, her tormentor, her lover, Yojimbo. After the first
four or five bursts she lost all hope; terrified, she was unable to stop the
rest of the flow, and it rained down on her master.
The pungent smell of hot piss mixed with sexual secretions rose up to
meet her nostrils. She was panting from exertion and terror; what
would he do now? What would he say? Would her end be quick, or would
he torture her first?
He does not, and finds it pleasing; and later, in a hot bath, she returns the transgression by rimming him, and there's more sex, after which they fall in love. Then comes the Star Wars part. She and he come from a distant, more advanced planet and have been marooned in 14th-century Japan by an intergalactic war...she is the lost princess Zuci Klu, and he her gallant protector. They take off into the void in a sentient spaceship, but are intercepted by their enemies, and there's more sex, including a zero-G scene without arms and legs (their limbs have been sucked into the fourth dimension by...oh, never mind) that rivals the one in Rino Rino's "Floating" and then there's sex with a giant blue disembodied penis, with beanbag chair-sized testicles. Oh, my brain hurts too much to describe it. But this was mouth-watering work, very good both for the quality of the writing, imagination involved, the characterizations, and the unusual sex acts...part SF, part historical, part humor. It'll get some kind of Cyrrheal award. What, I'm not sure.
A String of Pearls [B+]
I often wonder which stories are written by males and which are by females. Sometimes I can tell by the sex acts and how the characters react to them, but not always.
This story seems, to me at least, like it was written by a guy. A young
Korean woman, engaged to be married, has set up a massage business in
the apartment she shares with her fiancee in order to earn some extra
money. One day a muscular black guy comes in for a rubdown, and she
finds herself getting turned on by his body in a more intense way than
she's experienced with her fiancee. When he orders her to "massage" a
special place in front and turns over, she is mesmerized by his
"astounding slab of black dickmeat" and only too happy to be called a
"ho." What follows is an exciting massage/masturbation episode ending
with:
There's an amusing joke relating to the story's title and the heroine's naivete, and afterwards, having been enthralled by his ghetto-speak and licorice stick she decides to follow him to Hawaii. Although I found the story vivid and the characterization of the wife- to-be well done, I just couldn't accept her taking all the hot bitch-and- ho talk from the black character, especially with her living in LA. It was racially stereotyped, for one thing, and even giving that he's from the 'hood, it might have been better for the story, and more amusing for us, for the Korean chick, with her limited understanding of English, to not understand what he meant. OTOH, if Mr. Black Stud meant it in fun, it could have been clearer on the part of the author. And while I can see her succumbing in the passion of the moment to the lure of a monster cock, I can't see her throwing aside her future life (and security) to follow the guy on a whim. It would have been better to let her see the episode as only a "bachelorette party" (as the author has said) rather than a cause for subhood. In spite of my beefs about the story, however, it's still worth checking out for the depiction of an interracial couple you don't see a lot.
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