The Annex Reviews, March 1999

3/5/99 - Bedtime Stories #4: Panties? (Moontan96); Fun in the Sun (Sympathy); God's Great Plan (Al Steiner); Critics (Anonymous); Scottish Dance (Michael Gouda)

3/16/99 - The Last Resort (Richard Rivers); Perfect Fit (JT); Thunder Struck (Crimson Dragon); The Revenge of Edward Hopper (Joanna De Brito); Welcome to Wonderland (Anonymous); Website Review: The Nifty Archives

3/23/99 - Refreshment (Prufrock45); Hi Bill (Spoonbender); Cyber Fun (Anonymous); Mannequin (Bongo 70); David's Toy (Duddy Woolenside); 3 Million (ViragoBlue); Bridaled Date (Bill); The Runt and the Lord (YLeeCoyote)

3/5/99

Bedtime Stories #4: Panties? [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 2/19/99
Author: Moon Tan 96
Address: moontan96@aol.com

This is one of those second-person stories where the narrator tells the reader what she does/wears/feels in his secret fantasy: "What really knocks me out is your dress. A clinging, short, black, cocktail dress with a halter top, leaving your beautiful back and shoulders bare...this sexy dress was never intended to be worn with a bra and your breasts bounce and sway freely under the thin material which also does a poor job of concealing the beautiful outlines of your delicious nipples."

The narrator then dares his date to go without her panties, and she does. When they get home later they have sex, and surprisingly she's the one who takes the aggressive role: "You've got a lot of nerve parading me around all over town in that short assed dress without panties! It's bad enough that every man who saw me watched my tits jiggling but did you really have to keep lifting my dress and squeezing my ass? I' ve never been so close to naked and aroused in public! You're gonna get it now!"

I admit I'm not as prejudiced against second-person stories as I used to be (time mellows one in this business) and I found this story pretty hot, and an entertaining read. The couple had some good smutty fun without being too crass and no one gets hurt or humiliated. It was just the sort of thing I wanted to read, and I'm glad I did.

Fun in the Sun [B-/C+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 2/15/99
Author: Sympathy
Address: sympathy@hotmail.com

Stories about teenagers are always hard to write. The characters either come across as sounding acting too adult or, if written by a teenager, naively psychotic (as in the abysmal "Thrasher Girls" which I reviewed a few weeks ago.) It's very rare when an author can capture an authentic voice.

This story, sadly, failed, even though I was rooting for it. Sympathy is a gorgeous 18-year-old who leaves the family farm in search of adventure--I guess the story takes places place in the Midwest somewhere--and soon meets a good-looking man named Kurt who picks her up in his truck. On the spur of the moments he stops by a river for a swim--nude, as it turns out-- and after some cajoling she joins him. He tempts her into having sex with him and there's the added delight of special hot springs in the river which serve to get them in the mood.

This story had a lot going for it--the unique name of the heroine, the hot springs, the good-naturedness of it--but the writing was clumsy and needed a lot of work, in particular the dialogue: "Hello, my name is Sympathy and of I knew where I was going I'd take you up on your offer. You wouldn't happen to know of any farm around here that needs a milk maid or extra hand would you?" I didn't think people talked like this outside of 1950s television shows.

In sum, this wasn't great, but I encourage the author to keep developing his or her craft.

God's Great Plan [A+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 2/10/99
Author: Al Steiner
Address: al_steiner@hotmail.com

This story, in contrast, was a very good example of a teen voice written well. Thirteen-year-old Jason goes to see his friend, who comes from a family of bible-thumping religious fanatics, and winds up spending the afternoon with his friend's mother. She pulls out a tit to nurse her newborn son Kyle, and the action starts rolling:

"Kyle only emptied one breast but I have to drain both of them. I have a breast pump but it's kind of uncomfortable."

"Yeah?" I said, naively not getting her.

"So would you mind, " She continued. "Uh, draining the other breast for me?"

The story is told in first-person voice by a man looking back on his youth, and his younger self's increasing arousal and confusion are vividly portrayed as is the slow, sneaky buildup each sex act got. I began to think, "No, wait, he can't possibly top this, they can't be doing *that* next," but they did, and continued to do it, the rationale being that Mr. Tilden, believing he's reached his quota of offspring, has decoded to abstain from sex with his wife as his part of interpretation of "God's Great Plan." Oh yes, and then there's that very catchy refrain which is used very effectively throughout the piece.

Read this: it's light entertainment with a little bit of profundity, and oddly respectful to the characters even with all the sex that occurs.

Critics [A]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 2/5/99
Author: Anonymous
Poster: Articera
Address: endlend@hotmail.com

I downloaded this story a while ago and put it on the back burner, but the recent death of Gene Siskel inspired me to review it, and I was glad I did. A teenage couple (yes, another teenage story) go to a motel to have sex, but unbeknownst to them their actions are being broadcast across the country. Siskel and Ebert then review the sex in progress, making comments:

"Tim is showing exceptional patience," Gene stated, "and an apparent willingness to satisfy the Sheila's sexual desires before satisfying his own."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," countered Roger. "A strong, experienced tongue such as his is bringing him as much pleasure as she is receiving! It is clearly mutual and simultaneous satisfaction. Certainly a good performance."

This one of the stories periodically posted by Articera, a pay source for stories, and I don't usually review them because they aren't very interesting. But this humorous piece surprised and delighted me. I only wish the author was listed so I could give him or her proper credit.

Scottish Dance [A+]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 2/6/99
Author: Michael Gouda
Address: stachys@eurobell.co.uk

Michael Gouda has written an absorbing series of tales, of which this is the fifth, about Keith Hatch, a gay police officer in the United Kingdom. I reviewed the first, "Killer," last year and it made a good impression on me, so I picked up this one.

These stories have a very different flavor than American ones. The characters inhabit a comfortable gay subculture that exists side-by-side with the straight world, but it has its problems (prejudice, outing, finding a good gay bar, etc.). They also aren't afraid to indulge in the razor-sharp repartee of flaming queens and laugh at themselves for it. The emphasis is on relationships and romance with some true-crime and mystery thrown in, and in "Scottish Dance" it's the arson of a gay Internet cafe.

Sergeant Hatch has gone to Edinburgh for the August arts festival with his young partner Phil (who kept me in stitches with his sarcastic asides) and his former lover, Alan, whom he has remained friends with. Intrigue develops as an old enemy butts into Keith's and Phil's relationship and Alan picks up a young Costa Rican student who gives him the "el beso negro," also known as the black kiss (you can guess what it is.) But when the cafe is torched the student becomes a suspect...along with a young actor and the two thugs who've been harassing the quartet, and Phil and Alan decide to play detective to get to the bottom of the mystery.

This was an excellent story with a lot of meat to it (pardon the pun) and the mystery kept me guessing until the end. The author has really done his work in capturing the flavor of the Edinburgh arts festival; I know, because I was there. In fact, I even ran into Margaret Thatcher. But that's another story...

Anyway, read this for excellent romance and relationship drama, and look up the previous stories, which are archived at the Nifty Archives, as well.

3/16/99

I have been following the recent controversy on ASSD mentioning my name with great interest, until I realized that 99% of the posts didn't even mention me, whereupon I stopped; but what I understood of it was that an author took offense at a review of his or her teen story, which prompted a discussion of review standards, and some abuse from several posters who later claimed what they did was "performance art," which prompted yet more outrage. My attitude towards all this is similar to that of The Fast Show, who I read sporadically when I have the time: ASSD is a newsgroup devoted to the discussion of erotic stories, i.e. sexual fantasies, and as in all sexual fantasies, it's idiotic to assume anyone or anything is who and what they say they are, and therefore take offense or give offense because of it. It's like thinking spam marked HORNY YOUNG TEENS CUM FOR YOU actually contains pictures of teens, or horny teens, or cumming teens, or horny teens cumming especially for you, the viewer, special delivery through telepathic thoughtwave devices--rather than young-looking 20-year-olds making passionate faces and thinking about doing their laundry as they enact a cootie search.

It's very easy to fool and be fooled in hyperspace. When all you have is words, a good writer becomes a good con artist, and they can be *anyone.*

I am also struck, as I read certain other posts, at how writers defend their creations and their identity as writers of erotica; it's as if they believe they have a constitutional right to broadcast their identity as sexual beings, as if that's all they really are, and that these tender identities bruise very easily and are deserving of airbags. I find this very funny. I also find it occasionally touching.

So, I guess what's come out of all this is that the ASS newsgroups amuse, and continue to amuse, and I don't take them seriously.

The Last Resort [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/9/99
Author: Richard Rivers
Address: richard_rivers@hotmail.com

A man in his forties books a hotel room in a seaside town, looking for a brief vacation. He's of the age where "he was becoming invisible to young, beautiful women....they never paid any attention to him. It wasn't that he was bad looking, he thought, just ineligible: too old." Leaning over his balcony, he loses his sunglasses when they fall into balcony below, which belongs to a room rented by two college-age young woman. They return the sunglasses to him in person, and sex ensues between the three. For a change, the women jointly fuck him instead of fucking each other for him (as is usual in these kind of stories.)

This was a very interesting story. The author has taken an age- old porno cliche--that of the nothing-special older man who is inexplicably attractive to two gorgeous, sexually ravenous young females--and tried to infuse it with the feelings of real people. The emotions of the man were poignantly drawn as plays the part of the onlooker at the feast of love who wants desperately to participate one last time, and gets that chance; the women were drawn somewhat less fully. I wanted to know why they chose to do what they did. Most gorgeous young women would rather be romping with virile young men, if all they're after is sexual thrills; the behavior of the two speaks of wanting something more. Did they have a bet going, did he remind them of their dad, or were they just tired of young studs? This made the piece somewhat unsatisfying for me, but it was still a very good story-- stroke with a heart.

Perfect Fit [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/9/99
Author: JT
Address: trekkerjt@aol.com

I haven't seen many lesbian pickup stories lately so reading this one was sort of refreshing--it was very femme. A gay female clerk in Victoria's Secret notices a good-looking older woman perusing the racks of lingerie and is instantly attracted to her. The older woman picks out a teddie and insists the clerk tries it on, citing that she's the same size as her (implied) female lover. Disappointed, the clerk complies; but becomes excited when the other woman "helps" with the fitting. As it turns out, the teddie was meant for the clerk all along.

As porn, as stroke, as whatever, this story did the job--being entertaining and arousing without causing you to think too much or question the things that occurred in it. In fact, the only flaw I can think of is that a clerk in Victoria's Secret wouldn't be allowed to wear jeans. But that's an admittedly minor one.

Thunder Struck [B+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/9/99
Author: Crimson Dragon
Address: dcrimson@yahoo.com

A woman with a phobia about thunderstorms wakes up one night in the middle of one, while her husband sleeps on. She goes downstairs for some soothing milk but soon runs up in fright. Her husbands hears her come back and comforts her with some sex, and she's not frightened anymore.

The sex in this story was more in the romance-novel mode than the porn or erotica mode, which is OK, but there was just a bit too much of that storm and not enough sex--or repartee with the husband, which in romance novels often substitutes for sex. I'd say it was about 85% storm to 15% husband, which gave it a gothic "It was a dark and stormy night" feel, not altogether the best way to start off a story these days. But this author writes well, and with more attention paid to plot and dialogue, he or she could probably come up with grade A work.

The Revenge of Edward Hopper [A+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/8/99
Author: Joanna De Brito
Address: joanna_de_brito@hotmail.com

As with last weeks' La Charmeuse stories, this story was inspired by a painting, or rather an artist, suggested by writer Mat Twassel. Edward Hopper, in case you don't know, was an American painter working mainly in the years 1920 - 1950s who was known for his light-filled, evocative depictions of city tenements and country landscapes people by lonely-looking souls; "Night Hawks" is perhaps the most reproduced of his works. In this story the author has chosen to write about Hopper the man rather than the things he's painted, and the results are a mixed bag, but delightful. Alfred Hitchcock would have loved it.

The narrator of the story, a young female clerk at a printing firm, tries to enlist Hopper's help in getting back at fellow employee, another young woman, who caused her to get the sack (being fired, a Britishism as this author is from England.) Hopper agrees on the condition she'll pose for him. Her anger is so strong she agrees. He gives her a swimsuit to wear in the studio as he does his photoshoot, telling her he took compromising pictures of the other woman in the same way...but at the end, the results are not as the narrator expected.

I am not an expert on Edward Hopper--all I can claim is one college paper--but I did note a number of anachronisms in the story. Ed died way before fax machines were invented; he went bald early, making the mentions of a ponytail suspect; and as far as I know he painted from life and did not photograph his subjects beforehand. On the other hand, the author has done a marvelous job in conjecturing Hopper's personality from the basis of his paintings, presenting him as an observant, taciturn, manipulative fellow with a prickly gallows sense of humor--a New England sense of humor. The story is tightly structured and keeps your attention from start to finish, and there's just the right amount of dialogue vs. description. One more word would've spoiled it.

In sum, no hot n' heavy sex, but recommended.

Welcome to Wonderland [C]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/9/99
Author: Anonymous
Poster: Joker2912
Address: Joker2912@aol.com

I am not sure if the poster of the story is its author or not, so I'm assuming he or she isn't, to save him or her embarrassment.

This story was loopy in the manner of last years' "Serpentina"--a trip down magic mushroom lane where bizarre sexual transformations happen to the characters on the flimsiest of rationales. In this case, a group of teenage girls go through the mirror in Lewis Carrol's old house (real name: Charles Dodgeson, who had a "thing" for pre-teen girls, though the author doesn't seem to know that) and come out in a mirror universe superficially like the one they left behind, but one where they turn into whatever nasty name anyone calls them. So naturally they're called sluts, whores, pregnant bimbos, fat cows, etc. and the transformations began: 60-inch breasts, vaginas that reach to mid-belly, penises that turn up in place of nipples.

This wasn't an arousing story; it was more of a cartoon, and written like a cartoon--an eleven-year-old's idea of a cartoon. In fact, it sounded more like some junior-high kid wrote it as a revenge on the girls in the story, who may have been drawn, with an untutored hand, from Real Life. Whatever, man. Pass the psilocybin.

Click here to read Website Review: The Nifty Archives

3/23/99

I don't always have time for a lengthy intro, as my life is pretty busy. Hah, like you guys really want to read one anyway.

About the teenage/exploitation/performance art thread on ASSD which I have been following in a cursory way: I repeat, it's very easy to be fooled by anyone posing as anyone else in cyberspace, if they are a good writer and have an understanding of human nature. There are many people out there with time on their hands who like pulling a fast one on other human beings. It adds to their feelings of power and invulnerability, I suspect. So be careful, and act accordingly.

I also suggest being careful about writing to anyone you suspect is underage, that is under 18. If parents or guardians catch wind of it, and trace your email address, you could wind up in a lot of trouble, especially if the teen goes missing or is involved in some other trouble. Be smart, people.

Refreshment [A]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 3/16/99
Author: Prufrock54
Address: prufrock54@my-dejanews.com

A laid-off factory worker spends his days getting drunk and feeling sorry for himself. He catches the neighbor's teenage daughter sneaking a beer and blackmails her into giving him a blow job, which makes him feel like even more of a shit. Finally, he goes for a drunk drive one night and sails off a bridge into a river.

This was not a pretty story; it was more horror than erotica, dealing with the dark side of sex and self-worth and the feelings involved. The author is an excellent writer, reminding me a little of Uther Pendragon. My only complaint was that the piece should have had more of a resolution than it did. All the other elements were in place, so it seems a shame for the story to end abruptly the way it did.

Hi Bill [A+]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 3/16/99
Author: Spoonbender
Address: Theodore@spoonbender.demon.co.uk

I picked up this story from Spoonbender because I thought it would be some sarcastic British commentary on the president's troubles. Instead, it turned out to be a spoof of a marketing email exchange in a new genre I'll call mechasex. Spoonbender--and several other writers in the SF/BDSM mode, such as Don Quixote-- seems to specialize in these tales, which revolve around futuristic adult toys that are used to turn women into high-tech sex machines. The machine connection is vital to our understanding of these tales; like a polished Sorayama robot girl or a shiny RX-7 they have a coldness to them, a glossy fetishization, and a geeky gee-wow adolescent fascination with things mechanical. They're also lots of fun. I get the feeling the authors of these stories wouldn't mind a bit swapping places with their mechanized female victims.

The story concerns a firm's efforts to market a mechanical nipple-and-clit stimulation device for women. Told in email form, it details the creation of one campaign aimed at males, one at females:

Then the hard sell. We thought of hitting them with having their own tropical love affair. With no unseemly strings attached or any other nasty little side effects. They can set it from seduce to rape, whatever trips their trigger. They could even set it to automatic and then tie themselves up with our new timelock handcuffs. It might even provide a boost to sales of these.

Cyber Fun [D]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 3/16/99
Author: Anonymous
Poster: Velvet Rose
Address: velvetrose@my-dejanews.com

This story was billed as "a copy of two dialogues between a girl and two guys via an "Instant Message." I'm going to assume the "author" is one of the aforementioned three and not the poster, as "Velvet Rose" is too classy a moniker for the bathroom-stall scribblings contained therein...which is sex at its most basic, full of heartfelt warblings like:

It's also sex at its most banal and boring. It's like watching two houseflies go at it, with misspellings. Or is that housewives?

Skip this. Almost anything you pick up on ASS will be better.

Mannequin [A-]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 3/12/99
Author: Bongo 70
Address: bongo70@hotmail.com

A gay man is given a robot by his friend that is a simulacrum of a teenage boy. He is delighted with this new toy, particularly its stamina: "His crotch sprang against my elevated cheeks, driving his long swollen member at piston speed. I expected him to be finished after his first ejaculation, but he continued until there were four more." He concludes the kid must be a real teenager. But the next morning, he discovers the truth.

This story was shorter than the usual ASSG fare--almost a sketch- -with a childlike but inventive quality to the writing that suggested English was not the writer's native language. The effect of a translation, in other words. This gave the story a sweet, haunting quality even though its subject matter--the love object unmasked as a robot--wasn't exactly original.

David's Toy [B+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/16/99
Author: Duddy Woolenside
Poster: DickRacy
Poster Address: DickRacy@netscape.net

A dom guy waits for a session with his sub date, who arrives ten minutes late due to bad traffic. "You'll pay later for disobeying me," says he, and orders her to strip. Conveniently, she's wearing not wearing any underwear except for a garter belt and stockings, which makes me wonder if she planned the delay. What follows next is a D/S and bondage session on the dining room table with some pretty hot sex, almost a primer for What To Do With Your Groveling Subbie.

I liked the sex in this piece, but as a story, it was ill-defined. Though set in the "real" world (that is, not in some dungeon in never-never land) it was never clear if the woman was a voluntary participant in a mutual game or if the man was just ordering her around, as some men undoubtedly fantasize about doing (and some women fantasize about obeying.) The story also fell short in the characterization department, which brings up the point of just how much characterization is needed for a stroke story. The details that were given about Carol and David--the happy twosome in the story--served only to clutter it up and detract from the sex that was there. It all seemed a bit silly. So I say names aren't necessary at all; he and she will do just fine.

That said, as stroke and stroke only this was pretty good. A nice effort.

3 Million [A-/B+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/10/99
Author: ViragoBlue
Address: mdmvirago@aol.com

Like the above this story was stroke, but it had a little more ambition. A female advertising executive ("Her legs were long and lightly muscled and she kept the triangle of hair between her thighs closely shaved. Her waist was narrow and taut and her breasts were a luscious size 36D with nipples the color of cafe au lait") lusts after her male secretary AND a male client who happens to be president of a lingerie company. He sends her a sample of his wares and when a meeting happens between the three lady boss is inspired by the champagne to model it for them. Afterwards there's some awkwardly introduced three-way sex on the meeting room floor:

Josh gulped and Jack just stared. Jack sipped his wine and watched as Josh stepped a little closer to Jade. "You can vouch for what? That you are a sex starved animal? Hmmm...while that is a tantalizing thought, Jade, I'm afraid it is Jack and I who are the sex starved animals at this point. Speaking for myself I would have to say that I would . . . quite frankly . . .like to fuck you until you faint." He shrugged with a nonchalance that made her want to rip his clothes off right there and show him how to fuck.

Not exactly my cup of tea--a bit TOO silly--but it's a nice bridge between fluff and porn, and unique for that reason.

Bridaled Date [B]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 3/16/99
Author: Bill
Address: stdity@flash.net

A young man house-sitting for his sister and her roommate raids the girls' closets and makeup drawers to turn himself into a trannie femme fatale. Unfortunately his fantasy is interrupted when a studly businessman drops by who mistakes him for his sister's roommate. The naive young cherry is then whisked off to a BDSM club where he's tied, drugged and plugged in various ways, including being dressed as a bride in bondage:

Four flounced crinolines dropped from his waist over his two tiered bustle down to the floor and accentuated each shaky step. He wore a sort of diaphanous boudoir jacket on top... the thing dripped with clear lace. It had a ruffled high stand-up collar, full diaphanous sleeves ending in a flourish of organza ruffles at the cuffs. It dropped totally open in the front to reveal the top and front of his corset. A wide white satin ribbon had been tied around his waist as a belt to join the crinolines that formed his skirt with the jacket and bustier. It was tied into a large floppy bow at back, its ends teeming to the floor.

In sum, silly as the one above and tailored for its audience, but lacking in the technical department.

The Runt and the Lord [B+/B]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 3/21/99
Author: YLeeCoyote
Address: YLeeCoyote@Juno.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Chelsea/9880

The world of Arcturus-7 is split into two classes of humanoid beings: lords and chattel, with the chattels being looked upon as intelligent animals to serve the needs of the lords. All this was carefully explained in the preface to this story as stage-dressing for some science fiction fun ala "The Journals of Kennet R'yal Shardik." Runt, an undersized runaway chattel, is claimed by a lord and set to work in his stable. He sneaks out to go swimming one night with another boy but is caught, and as punishment the lord spanks him and fucks him on a horse...bareback in more than one sense of the word.

The idea for this story was interesting, but there was too much "tell" and not enough "show"-- I felt like I was reading a description of a neat story and not the story itself. I'd advise the writer to picture the events in his mind, project himself into a character, then write the events as they actually "happen" to him, not as a summary.

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